Step 2: Don’t Just Learn it, Live it

How to Live Your Life in English

ETHAN: Aww yeah, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls from all across the globe this is Ethan
from RealLife English, where we believe that listening to podcasts is a fun, natural, effective and
incredible way to learn English. So, download this podcast now and listen to us, while you're riding
the bus, robbing a train on top of a horse, or even doing a headstand on your bike. Aww yeah, I'm
joined here in the Cross Continental Studio, as always by my partner in crime, Justin Murray.

JUSTIN: Aww yeah. Great to be here, great to connect with you, Ethan, and great to connect with
you guys all around our world, our world beyond borders.

ETHAN: Aww yeah, love it. And we are of course on episode 152 and we are right smack dab in
the middle of talking about the RealLife Way. So, maybe we should start by just in case someone
has made the fatal error of not listening to episodes 150 and episode 151, explain to them what we
have done so far, what is the RealLife way, and what they missed in the last episodes.

JUSTIN: Well, the RealLife Way is the condensation of pretty much our methodology that we're
building, not just about English learning, but about life. About how you can become an amazing
English learner and really use it to improve your life, improve the lives of other people, too. And in
the first episode we gave an overview, you can stop that and go back and listen right now, if you
like. That might be the ideal way, but if not, you can keep listening.

And then, we talked about this first step in the RealLife Way. Determination, how important that is.
How we talked about how determination is a combination of: Desire, Vision and Discipline. And
how it's really important to deliver habits and deliberate practice, that's sort of like what we're going
to talk more about today. And today we're talking about not just learning in English, but living it.

So, it's three promises for the RealLife Way, as we've mentioned in the past: that we will inspire
you to awaken the determination that you need to realize your true potential, not only as an English
learner but as a human being. That we will empower you to build the strategies, skills and courage
that you need to step outside the classroom, into the real world.

And not just learn English but to live it. And we will connect you to a world beyond borders, global
consciousness, global community and realization of the fact that no matter what divides us, that
which is unites us is far greater.

ETHAN: Aww yeah. That's really powerful stuff, I don't think you need much more than that. And I
believe that today's podcast we are on the second step which falls into the second promise. Which
was as Justin said is empowering you to build the strategies, skills and courage that you need to
step outside the classroom into the real world and not just learn English, but to live it.

So today we are talking about something that I would say from the very beginning of RealLife
English has been at the core of our teaching methodology, which is really how to make English
part of your life, how to not just learn it, but to live it.

JUSTIN: Yeah, and that's why we say stepping outside of the classroom. Our second promise
talks about building the strategies, skills, and courage. So, today we're going to talk a lot about the
strategies that you need to build the skills and build the courage. But before we jump into that,

1
4:18
we're going to introduce another couple of shout outs, because we have quite a store of shout outs
that we haven't really given you guys for quite a while. And I was just looking on our iTunes
reviews. So, by the way, if you have iTunes I really recommend that you jump on there, and that
you find us, give us a five-star review, that would be really awesome. We'd love to hear from you,
and it's really nice when people do. So, Ethan, why don't you share these two shout outs?

ETHAN: All right, so maybe I'll start with the one that is just short and sweet. This guy named, well
at least his name on iTunes appears to be Maxie, from Spain. And he just said, “Amazing”, which I
think, as I said, short and sweet. It's worth a lot to us, thanks a lot, Maxie.

And then the second one is from someone in the United States, maybe someone who has moved
to the United States or is working there. And he or she said, I'm not sure of the name, it looks like
“Mdfded70” so, if you're out there maybe you can correct me with your real name. But you said
that, “I've learned a lot with you guys and I'm so grateful for it, from the bottom of my heart. Just
wish I could meet you all in person.”

iTunes 5 Star Review Shoutout

So, since you're in the States, maybe someday we will bump into each other, and I really like what
this person said, “from the bottom of my heart”. What does that mean, Justin?

JUSTIN: From the bottom of my heart, it means like very sincerely.

ETHAN: You're right, I did miss that, so these both were five-star reviews. If you want to give your
own five-star review, well, actually it can be your way of paying for the learning, so helping other
people learn, because the more five-star reviews we have, the more people will find our podcast
and be able to benefit from all these lessons, like you guys.

JUSTIN: Aww yeah. So, moving on, let's

introduce another quote, this one is taken from
the manifesto. And right now, if you go to the
show notes on this page, that for this episode
you can download the RealLife English
manifesto. And this will give you a really nice
introduction, a really nice base for the RealLife
Way. So, quote is, “Formal education is a walk
through the zoo. Informal education is a walk
through the savannah.” What do they mean by
that, Ethan?

ETHAN: Well, first of all, what the heck is a savannah? But do you want to explain that, and then I
can try my best to explain this very deep quote?

JUSTIN: Yeah, it's a great introduction for this episode on not just learning English but living it. So,
a savannah is- when I think of savannah I think of Africa. Like a really wide, open field, or wide,
open landscape with just a huge ecosystem of nature, trees, of animals, of just really adventurous
things happening.

ETHAN: Yeah. So, I think like in this quote what it makes me think of is if you're in the zoo, it's very
safe, right? Because all the animals they're in cages, it's very relaxed, you can go and get some

2
6:59
food, you can walk around with a cold drink. If you're out on the savannah, it's very adventurous,
you're not quite as safe, maybe an animal could possibly come after you at any moment and you
would have to run. Especially if you're walking, if you're not in one of those dune buggy things.

And I think basically this is making a comparison that formal education it's safe. You can pay your
whatever $60 a month for your English course, that's going to promise to get you to the next level,
whatever that means, by six months. Or you could choose the other option, which would be to take
a walk in the savannah. To live on the wild side, as we might say, by going through informal
education which might be like teaching yourself. It might be getting a private teacher who has more
of a non-traditional way of teaching, or to go through maybe on online course that is kind of
providing a new way of learning.

So, I have found that a lot of English learners, the ones who tend to really succeed and be able to
maintain that passion for learning, like we talked about in the previous episode about the RealLife
Way, is really important to be able to find ways that are non-traditional, that are wild and fun and
adventurous and experimental.

JUSTIN: Okay, one thing to tack on, or to add onto the end of what Ethan was just saying, is I
agree with everything Ethan just said. But maybe you don't need to say either or, for traditional
methods and dynamic real life methods, you could do both. You can have both a zoo and
savannah. My only recommendation is that as you're looking at the zoo, just recognize that the
savannah exists. And that even as you're starting you can still experiment with it and you can still
really integrate that into your life, and this is what today is all about.

It's about not just learning English, but living it. It's about stepping outside the classroom into the
real world, and finding those resources and integrating them into your English from the very
beginning, or wherever you're at. Because this is really going to help you as you go along. So, as
you're studying in a classroom, or whatever environment that most people study in, or whatever
environment you studied in, generally people will learn how to read and write, but they don't
actually learn how to speak and listen, a lot of times.

And so, as we talked about before, people have the wrong idea a lot of times about how natives
really speak. But, so what we're recommending is for you to, in the very beginning, whatever point
you are at in your process to really start integrating these experiences with real English, with the
media and the things that you like, fun, natural, convenient experiences into your everyday life.
And this is going to make it a lot easier.

ETHAN: So I found that the traditional way of looking at English is people tend to treat it like any
other school subject. Or even like it's something like it's going to the gym, that if you go twice a
week, you'll start building muscle and that's enough. Or that it's basically something that you just
go, you sit in the classroom, you take the test and that'll get you to your goals. But really, I would
think that English should be compared more to something that's like an art form.

It's something that really you have to make a part of your everyday life, you have to be constantly
experimenting with it, trying to find ways to surround yourself with it, and a lot of people want to go
study a language in another country, but they can't necessarily afford to. Or they don't have the
time, or they have responsibilities like family.

But I have found a lot of people who can be very successful at doing this without leaving their
home country, where English is not spoken, simply by finding ways to make it really convenient. By
finding ways to be listening to English at any point, when it's convenient to have their headphones
in, or to be watching something. So, I think that even without living in a native speaking country,
you can get to a really exceptional level of English.

JUSTIN: Yeah, and besides that, it's just a huge base for all of the other ways that you can

3
10:37
practice English, and really focus in on your weaknesses, with your habits, a way to cultivate a
different relationship with English. So, you start liking it, it becomes something much more natural
in your life, much more convenient.

And then, moving from there you find ways to make it more deliberate. We'll talk more about that in
a moment. So, we always talk about lifestyle English, about immersing your life in English, making
English a part of your life. And so, we just want to cover a few ways in which we can do that, which
we recommend here at RealLife English. So, Ethan, why don't you introduce them into some of the
ways that we can use English in our everyday life and on the go?

ETHAN: Definitely. I would probably also recommend if you go to the show notes, I can post a
couple of articles, Justin wrote a really excellent article on lifestyle English. And I wrote one about
my own routines for learning languages in countries where that language is not actually spoken. In
kind of a way that's a little bit more effortless, a little bit more relaxing, which is like Justin said.
That's kind of the place where you start and then, from that you move into deliberate practice.

We can give you some tips here and if you want to dive deeper definitely go to the show notes,
which we can put at reallifeglobal.com/empower E-M-P-O-W-E-R. So, we'll just give you a bit of a
taste here of some of the different resources you can use. So, one of my personal favorites which I
use pretty much all day, everyday, any time I can have earphones in, is music. I'm a huge music
lover, and I'm especially a big proponent of using music for learning languages.

Because a lot of us, I'd say especially English learners, listen to English music all the time but they
don't really understand it, they don't really utilize it as a tool for learning English. They don't learn
the lyrics, they don't use it as tool to understand the vocab, or to be curious about the different
structures that they see. Even the grammatical structures you can learn from music, if you dig into
the lyrics a little bit.

And another really important part is that it helps you to memorize things, by singing, by actually
singing out loud, you're really burning it into your memory. And at the same time, this can help you
a lot to pick up more, depending on the type of music, it can help you to pick up on the rhythm and
flow of English, on the intonation, on the pronunciation of different words.

Native Connected Speech Tip #3

Flap T/ Soft T (water = “wa-der”)
Aww yeah, RealLifer! I hope you have been enjoying the second step of the RealLife Way. Today
we are back with another quick, but powerful native connected speech tip, brought to you by the
RealLife Native immersion Course.

Today you’re going to learn to listen and pronounce an extremely useful sound that is used by
most native English speakers around the world all the time: The “soft d”, or “Flap T” sound,
pronounced in words like “better” and “water” as “bed-er” and “wa-der”

So the basic rule is that a T between 2 vowels becomes a Soft D sound, but if you’re a native
Spanish, Portuguese, or Italian speaker, this is more like an “r” sound. So I’m going to repeat these
2 examples one more time, pausing after each word to give you a chance to imitate me:

 Water = “wa-der”
 Better = “be-der”

But, keep in mind that it’s not always so simple, as there are plenty of exceptions to this “T”
between two vowels rule.

For example, I’m from a city in the U.S. called Seattle- spelled S-E-A-T-T-L-E, but most non-native

4
English speakers don’t understand me when I say “Seattle” because they expect me to say
“Seattle” as it’s written because they never learned the “soft d.”

The Beatles (or the “Beatles”), the famous band, is another similar example. So, let’s practice
these two words.

 Seattle = “se-a-dull”
 Beatles = “be-dulls”

But it gets a lot more interesting when we start to link and blend our words together.

For example, natives don’t usually say “go to,” like “I go to work every day,” we actually say “go-
duh”- “I go-duh work every day”

 I go to work every day = “I go duh work every day”

Interestingly, the same thing happens when we add ING - for example, “I’m going to work,”
becomes- “I’m going-duh work”

 I’m going to work + “I’m goin-duh work”

To finish, I have a final test for you, to see how well you’ve mastered this sound, we have two final
example sentences that are loaded with “soft d” sound.

1. I gotta get a better water bottle (I gaw-duh geh-duh bedder wa-der baw-dull)
2. what are you going to do tomorrow? (wha-dir ya gonna do duh-morrow?)

I hope you enjoyed and learned a lot in today’s Native Connected Speech Tip, brought to you by
the RealLife Native immersion Course, where Ethan, Chad, and I, Justin, help you not just learn
English, but to live it.

Now, let’s get back to Step 3 of the RealLife Way!

So, I would definitely say, even if you're not a good singer, start learning the music, listening to
music, start learning with music. And start singing along with the music.

JUSTIN: Yeah, I would say, just adding to what you were saying about pronunciation, there, and
the rhythm and flow. One thing I think rap music is really good for this, and there are some, even
like rock or pop groups, I think Red Hot Chili Peppers is a good example. Because they sing in a
way that's kind of rhythmic with the way that people speak.

And so, if you learn how to imitate those, it's really a big advantage for improving your
pronunciation. I've met so many super, super fluent English speakers, who sound almost like
natives, oftentimes, and it's because of rap music, they've been practicing with rap music and it
just flows into the way that they speak. So, it becomes a really natural part of their lives in a way
that they can develop native-like fluency.

Okay, the second element of lifestyle English that we really promote are TV shows, and movies.
This is a really big thing, as many of you know, we have “Learn English for TV”, our YouTube
channel. And we have a course called Fluent with Friends which helps people learn English having
fun with the Friends TV show. Why would you say these are so effective for English learners,
Ethan?

ETHAN: So, personally I promote with my students more TV series than movies, just because I
think it's more practical, more convenient. You don't have to take such a large chunk of native
English and digest it at the same time. So, that's generally what I say because most people can

5
17:21
afford to do 20 minutes. TV series, I think, in general are around 20 minutes, and most people
have that amount of time that they can spend everyday, or every other day. And because they also
have more of an addictive nature, that you start a TV series and you get hooked. What does that
mean, Justin, you get hooked?

JUSTIN: Hooked? So, a hook is like a fishing hook, right? But to be hooked is to be addicted, like
you just said. You can can get hooked on a drug. I'm hooked on caffeine, right?

ETHAN: Exactly, so you get hooked to a good TV series and then it's like you don't even have to
remember to study your English, you're going to want to come home from work everyday, or
school. And flip it on, and it's a little bit of passive learning, we'll talk about in a little bit how to make
it a little bit more deliberate practice with TV series.

That can be such a great resource if you get hooked on a TV series, whatever level you are,
whether you need to start with subtitles in your own language, subtitles in English, or no subtitles.
It's a really nice, relaxing way to start using some native media to learn. And another thing I use a
lot with my students is TED Talks, because for several reasons. First, they almost all have subtitles
in many different languages, I think all of them have subtitles in English.

And generally, it depends on the speaker, of course, but generally since it's a very prepared
speech, generally it's very clear and a little bit easier to understand than like a TV show, which is
more conversational English. And the final reason is because they're incredibly inspirational or
fascinating. You watch some of them and you can get hooked as well, just like you watch one TED
Talk and then it'll show another one that you might like.

And you watch that one, and before you know it you've been spending a couple of hours watching
TED Talks in English. So, my students absolutely love all three of these resources. And I cannot
recommend enough to start using, spending if you just have five minutes a day, watching a TED
Talk or 20 minutes a day watching a TV series.

JUSTIN: Or if you have five, 10, 15 minutes just go to Learn English with TV Series on YouTube,
this is a channel which we created. We take short scenes of TV shows, really funny scenes, and
then we break them down and teach them you in a way that's really digestible. We teach you the
pronunciation, we teach you the vocabulary, all the idioms and phrasal verbs as well as the cultural
notes.

But I definitely really dig all of these and, yeah there's a lot more we can talk about, and we've
definitely done episodes on that. And we have lots of material on that so, moving onto the third
aspect of lifestyle English, which you are doing right now. What are they doing, Ethan?

ETHAN: Listening to a podcast. It's like you can get hooked on a drug. I'm hooked on caffeine.

JUSTIN: So, what exactly is a podcast?

ETHAN: So, if this is the only podcast you listen to and you only think that it's a free audio lesson
with native English teachers, then there's a whole world that you have yet to be exposed to. So,
podcasts, they're basically they are free audio programs. And you'll find them about practically
anything, it's just lessons on some sort of thing, generally. So, like Justin mentioned earlier, there's
an entrepreneurial podcast that we both listen to.

I think there's a lot of podcasts that we overlap on, that we both listen to. And you can find these on
all different sources of inspiration. You can find them maybe related to whatever you work in. Or
related to your hobbies, from biking, to food, to wine, if you're a wine connoisseur. And I think that
using the ones that are for English learners, in particular, there's a lot of ones like this podcast that
are for English as a second language learners.

20:37 6
And I also recommend a lot to my students to experiment with challenging themselves a little bit
with native podcasts. So, podcasts that are in English, and they're on different topics like I was
saying. And there's some different strategies you can use for these. So, generally, if you have an
iPhone and you're listening to it with the podcast app on iPhone, or if you have an Android and
you're listening on Stitcher, there's a feature that you slow down the audio.

So it might be challenging listening to it on normal speed, but I bet that at half speed maybe you
have to listen a couple of times, but you're going to have probably a pretty good understanding.
Even if it's just 60% you'll probably be able to get enough to understand the whole context of
whatever that podcast is.

So, I would say if we're talking about informal learning, going out on the savannah, being a little bit
adventurous, pushing your comfort a little bit and doing what feels a little bit more uncomfortable is
going to be the best way to grow here.

JUSTIN: Yeah, podcasts, definitely revolutionary, I would say. Getting to the point where you can
understand and get the main idea, if you can understand this podcast then you are in a place
where you can start understanding native podcasts, experimenting more with that. But they're life
changing. Just like TED Talks, maybe even more so, because you find a podcast that you like, and
you listen to it on the way to work, on the way to school, when you're running.

You're not only practicing your English, really, the podcast is just a doorway to your English. Or
your English is just the doorway to the podcast. And so, you're not thinking about learning English,
you're just thinking about learning and what's going to happen on the next podcast. And who are
they going to talk to? And really listening to several episodes of a podcast is a completely life
changing experience.

ETHAN: Yeah. And I would say based on what you just said, pretty much with all of these
resources we're giving you, once you start tapping into these, you start using these native
resources, your English learning takes a completely different form. Because no longer is it such a
thing like, “Oh, I need to sit down and study English”. It becomes much more of a thing like, “Oh,
I'm just learning about something really interesting, and I happen to be doing it in English, because
I understand English.”

JUSTIN: Yeah, and this is like the fun, natural, convenient way, but we can't forget there's
deliberate practice, and we'll talk about that in one moment. But first of all, what are a couple of
final aspects of lifestyle English, Ethan?

ETHAN: One that I also like to do a lot, as far as kind of a relaxing form of learning is reading. So, I
also do this a lot with my students. I try, if they like reading books, or basically if they like reading
anything, I try to get them to switch to doing it in English. So, if you read the paper every morning
in your native language, try also reading like an article everyday in English.

If you read blogs in your native language try also reading some in English. If you read a book, try
reading a book, even if it's really easy, like my first book in Spanish was Harry Potter. That's a
great place to start. So, I really like that, because I do it before bed. It's kind of a way to wind down,
in the evening. What does wind down mean, Justin?

JUSTIN: Wind down means wind down, to relax.

ETHAN: Exactly. Yeah. I am able to read a really interesting story. Or even sometimes I might
read, and I know Justin does the same, something that might have to do with business, or with
work, or some other skill that I'm trying to learn in another language. So, you're able to, again, be
using the language that you're learning as a form of accessing new information.

23:39 7
JUSTIN: And doing this everyday, everyday, everyday. Another one that I really like is writing. So, I
think it's really important to develop habits. I think if you ever write like a journal, or one thing I do is
a gratitude practice. There's a lot of evidence in positive psychology showing that just writing things
that you're grateful for.

Things that you appreciate in your life, making a list of two minutes, three minutes a day. This
greatly increases your happiness. Just your ability to be optimistic about life and to see the positive
things in the world. So, you create a habit, and so you can do that in English, too.

ETHAN: I even have some of my students, just because I meditate and it's something that has
helped me a lot, we've actually talked about in a class. And I have, I think at least three of my
students now, are using the same app that I use, which is called “Insight Timer” and I can link to
that in the show notes.

JUSTIN: I use that, too, man. How come we're not friends?

ETHAN: Wow. We need to add each other as friends on that, which is really great because it
connects you to meditators from all around the world. But if you don't currently meditate, one of the
things that's really beneficial with this app is that there are thousands of free guided meditation
audios. So, there also, I used this expression before, they're killing two birds with one stone,
because every morning they're meditating. They're able to get a more clear state of mind.

And it can even help with your English, because you're getting more focused, but they're also
listening to a guided meditation every morning in English. So that they're practicing their listening a
little bit. And I also find guided meditations are a great resource, because the people tend to speak
very slowly and calmly. So it makes it quite relaxing to listen and easier to catch what they are
saying.

JUSTIN: Yeah, we actually did a podcast on this, number 121. Enlighten your English Meditation.
The three of us sat down because all of us meditate, Chad meditates, too.

ETHAN: So, it can be, if it's something that you're curious about, I can link some resources about
meditation. Justin wrote a great article about how meditation can affect your English, that's another
thing for you to possibly check out.

ETHAN: There's a lot of different resources that you have out there, that are available nowadays.
Especially if you're living in a big city, but even if not, we have the internet which is a terrific
resource for meeting people online. So, I tend to use a lot of different resources when I'm living in a
city to go practice the language, or a variety of languages at different kind of language exchanges.
You'll also find events that are aimed towards English learners, in particular.

Or if you're living in an English speaking country, already, then it could be a really great way to get
out and meet people, maybe by going to an event. We've been talking a lot about wine, so why
don't we say like a wine tasting event? And you could meet other people, who enjoy wine through
English. So, there's a lot of different ideas there, I have written on this, extensively. And I can post
those as well in the show notes.

So, you guys are definitely going to want to go the show notes because we are mentioning a lot of
resources that I'm going to link there. And something else that I wanted to mention here. Maybe
you can chime in on this, is that most English learners have the misconception that they have to
practice with native speakers.

Which I would say is it's a really bad preconception to have, and I'm not saying you shouldn't
speak with native speakers. I'm saying it's great. But it's kind of hard to access native speakers if

26:51 8
you're not living in a country where the people speak that language, unless you're offering
something in return.

And even when you are, one of the most common ways is through language exchanges, but
there's so many more people learning English out there, than there are English speakers, native
English speakers, that are learning your language. So, Justin would you want to add anything to
this idea?

JUSTIN: Another reason what you're talking about is that a lot of times we adapt our influence
from English, or maybe our accent, or our fluency from what we're listening. And so, if you think
about it, if you have a huge base of native English that you're listening to, then speaking with non
natives is not going to really influence you in a bad way. It's not like you're going to suddenly
absorb their mistakes.

Because you have so much input already coming from all of this native input, these native sources
that actually having the chance to open your mouth, even if the person doesn't speak English that
well, or even if it's your dog, really. Or even if you're speaking with yourself in the mirror, it's great
to speak.

And if you're in a meaningful situation, you're activating all of your English speaking mechanisms
and you're going to get better and better. Even if the person across from you doesn't speak as well
as you do.

ETHAN: One of my students, I have seen her English just take off. Her spoken English take off,
because we established at the beginning that she would try a new habit. We talked about 30-day
challenges in the last episode, talking about the RealLife Way. And she did her 30-day challenge
on doing a video speaking English everyday.

And so, she would just do like five minutes talking about different topics. So, in each video she
would talk on a different topic, and afterwards she would go, watch her own video. And she would
write down feedback, because the thing is, when you speak, you don't really have enough time to
think about grammar. You don't have enough time to think about pronunciation.

So, you're just trying to get your ideas out in a way that makes sense. And when you go back and
you watch yourself, or even if you just record audio and you listen to yourself, you are able to catch
a lot of your own mistakes. And when you do that, you start to correct those mistakes that are
repetitive, those mistakes that you make a lot.

JUSTIN: And so, Ethan, you just delved into the next topic, actually, that I wanted to talk about.
Deliberate practice, right? So, because what did you just describe, Ethan? What component of
deliberate practice was your student doing?

ETHAN: So, she was actually identifying her big weaknesses. And she still does this, actually, I'm
pretty sure she still is making videos everyday. And since we do class together, I will watch one of
them every week and I will also give her different feedback. But this has been really, really
powerful for her. I've seen her English grow a lot by doing this, because she is systematically
identifying her weaknesses.

She's identifying, for example, what vocabulary she's missing because sometimes in the video
she'll be like, “Oh, I can't think of that word.” She looks it up afterwards and then she is growing her
vocabulary as well. So, that act of actually really identifying where your weak points are, is I'd say
probably at the core of deliberate practice.

JUSTIN: Yeah. So, going back to what lifestyle English is. Lifestyle English is, you know, about
making it fun, natural, convenient. And this can be super important if you don't have English that

29:45 9
much in your life. It can be a really big push forward, no matter what level you're at. But you kind of
stabilize and you plateau, as we talked about in the last podcast, if you do this long enough, if you
don't have the deliberate practice.

So, at this point, deliberate practice, the principles are you need to push beyond your comfort
zone. You need to work toward specific goals, you need to focus. It's not always comfortable, it's
not always fun. This is how you make it effective. And you need high quality feedback and you
don't necessarily need feedback. I mean, feedback from other people is great. Like, Ethan's
student is getting feedback from him.

But she's giving herself feedback, too. And so she's recording herself and watching it, and she can
give herself feedback. And then, from there, it's developing kind of a self awareness, a philosophy
about your own learning. And kind of a plan, a strategy. So, that's what deliberate practice is.

ETHAN: Yeah. I would say, too, you just said awareness. And I think that my student, maybe I
can't speak for her, but from what I've noticed I think that she is much more aware of when she
does make mistakes. I think a lot of people they kind of just, they hit that plateau point. They're
really comfortable with their English. And then, they kind of start to be under the misconception that
they aren't making mistakes.

And it's just because they're not listening to themselves, they don't notice their mistakes. Or it
might be even that they don't want to, they don't want to know that they're making mistakes. And
so, they kind of just ignore them. But when you grow that awareness, then it's just constantly, when
you're speaking, you're going to realize more like, “Oh, I made that mistake, I need to work on that.
I need to work on that thing, specifically.”

JUSTIN: One thing to emphasize there is that there's sort of like people who are hyper sensitive to
their mistakes, and they're like, “Oh, I'm not going to speak”. 'Cause they think they're afraid of
making mistakes and they're not comfortable with mistakes in that sense. And then, there are
people who are not aware of their mistakes.

So, they're kind of like two opposites, but it's really important to develop an awareness of your
mistakes, an openness to them. But just relax and speak, and treat the speaking experience as a
different type of experience than the feedback experience.

ETHAN: Exactly. And I think that we're going to talk a lot more about that topic in a couple
episodes, when we talk about confidence, which of course it's going to come back to the idea of
the mindset, as well. Of not being afraid to make mistakes, of really leaning into them, and using
them as your weapon. You know, you kind of like look at people who are ultra successful in
whatever they do and they love failure, they love making mistakes, because it's how, it's the
stepping stones that they use to get to their goal.

JUSTIN: So, that's step four that Ethan's talking about, that's “Step Outside Your Comfort Zone”,
when we focus on confidence, on courage. But next week, we've got to finish up here pretty
quickly, but next week, we're going to talk about discovering native like English. And really show
you some of the mechanics of really taking your English to the next level, what you can focus your
deliberate practice on.

Some of the hidden, or not so well known, elements that you generally won't learn at school. And
this is going to be a really great episode. But just summarizing today's episode, what would you
say are the main points, Ethan?

ETHAN: I know we have covered a lot today. So, we talked about the big problem of not just
learning it, but living it. For most people is that English learners are failing to reach fluency. They
are not really speaking English, they can't actually find the opportunities or the ways that they can

32:43 10
actually speak English.

And they might be under, this might be you, that you're under a lot of misconceptions from your
traditional English classes. That you need to study grammar, you need to have really good, perfect
writing. Or maybe you even need to speak perfectly before you can actually open your mouth. And
you need to treat it more like a lifestyle. You need to surround yourself by the language.

And really swim in it, in everything you do. So we covered some of the main resources, and I'm
going to link a lot of stuff in the show notes, which will be at reallifeglobal.com/empower. You're
definitely going to want to go check that out and see all of these resources, so that you can start
using them. There's a lot of stuff to dig into before you get the next episode of the RealLife Way.

And let's not forget how important habits are, because as Aristotle said, much better than I could
ever say it, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” What does
that quote mean, Justin?

JUSTIN: It’s whatever we repeatedly do, whatever we automate into our lives, whatever we make
into a habit makes us successful. It's not that one time act, it's not that one time deed. It's what we
do day in and day out, every single day.

ETHAN: Exactly. And I like to look at this, too, that I think most English learners are looking for that
key to fluency. It's pretty much anything we do, we want that secret, that special ingredient that the
people who are really successful have, that made them successful.

But when you actually look at what they do everyday, you realize, “Oh, it's not one thing that they
do.” It's not like some secret that they have, it's just the little, every little habit that adds together to
make them really exceptional. So, is there anything else that you want to share with these guys,
Justin?

JUSTIN: I'd just remind them to go to reallifeglobal.com/empower and download the manifesto,
because this is a really great base for you to really internalize these ideas and to hit the ground
running for next week.

ETHAN: And what does hit the ground running mean? Just leave them with a last expression, I
guess.

JUSTIN: Hit the ground running means to really start something with really great momentum. You
have a head start, right? You're ahead of everybody else. Yeah.

ETHAN: Exactly.

JUSTIN: So do that, read the manifesto. I think it's really, really going to help you internalize these
ideas, take your English to the next level. And we're really excited to record next week's episode.

ETHAN: That will be coming to you real soon. So, should we one, two, three “aww yeah” them out
of here?

JUSTIN: Yeah, let's do that.

ETHAN: All right, one, two, three…

ETHAN & JUSTIN: Aww yeah.

35:00
11
 SONG: Backbeat (by Dagny)

Right now, You got me feeling like I can’t believe I let you go
I’ve been alone so long
And now I wonder what the hell we were thinking of
Oh I can’t believe I kid myself again, again
Now I’m letting go
Oh my fear, all my fear
I’ve been fearing this too long

Back beat, counting time

Pick it up and tell me if you really wanna dance some more
We’re borderline wasting time
Pick it up and tell me that you love me like you did before
I understand, understand
I been feeling it so long
I’m flying when I’m in your arms
I’m burning up, burning up
Feeling like I kid myself, kid myself again
Yeah

Think fast, Don’t let the speed of sound leave you feeling paralyzed Slow down
Cause your words are saying something different than your eyes
Oh, If only we could make it so we didn’t have to try so hard
To stay in time again
Show me how, show me how
And you will leave me wanting more

Back beat, counting time

Pick it up and tell me if you really wanna dance some more
We’re borderline wasting time
Pick it up and tell me that you love me like you did before
I understand, understand
I been feeling it so long
I’m flying when I’m in your arms
I’m burning up, burning up
Feeling like I kid myself, kid myself again
Yeah

Back beat, counting time

Pick it up and tell me if you really wanna dance some more
We’re borderline wasting time
Pick it up and tell me that you love me like you did before
I understand, understand
I been feeling it so long
I’m flying when I’m in your arms
I’m burning up, burning up
Feeling like I kid myself, kid myself again, Yeah

Back beat, counting time

Pick it up and tell me if you really wanna dance some more
We’re borderline wasting time
Pick it up and tell me that you love me like you did before
I understand, understand
I been feeling it so long
I’m flying when I’m in your arms
I’m burning up, burning up
Feeling like I kid myself, kid myself again, Yeah

12