Basic Needs Color Dimensions within

Conflict Management, Parenting and Personality Styles

by Stephen M. Ash, Psy.D. / DrStephenAsh@aol.com

High Concern for

Love & Relationships

9/1 A 9/9
Submission – Your Way 9 Our Way – Resolution
Permissive parenting F Authoritative parenting
Toward/Blue Personality Style
F 8
Caring and Confronting,
Giving in to Win and/or Keep Love I Expressing Truth in Love
7
R
5/5 Compromise
M 6

Low Concern A High

Concern
for Control 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 for Control
& Goals A S S E R T I V E N E S S & Goals

I 4

O
3
N
Giving up and/or Leaving Taking Charge/Confronting without
Caring
2

Avoidance or Withdrawal – No Way My Way – Dominance or Aggression?

Neglectful parenting 1 Authoritarian parenting
Away From/Black Personality Against/Red Personality
1/1 1/9
Low Concern for
Love & Relationships

Cf. Blue Dimension also relates to Acceptance, Openness, Belonging and Fitting In, providing
Affection, Relational Security and Support, and nondirective counseling (parakaleo) techniques
including Sharing and Active Listening, and a more Emotional emphasis. Traditionally the
female/Venus/Yin focus.
Cf. Red Dimension also relates to Commitment and Responsibility, Esteem, Purpose, providing
Guidance or Discipline, Problem Solving and directive counseling (noutheteo) techniques including
Confrontation and Teaching skills, and more Cognitive and Behavioral emphases. Traditionally the
male/Mars/Yang focus.