NAME Schema & Mode Summary

SCHEMAS/ LIFE TRAPS DEFINED

Schema: self defeating, emotional and cognitive patterns that begin early in development and
repeat throughout life.

♦ A broad, pervasive theme/pattern

♦ Comprised of memories, emotions, cognitions, and bodily sensations
♦ Regarding oneself and one’s relationship with others
♦ Developed throughout childhood and adolescence
♦ Elaborated throughout one’s life time
♦ Dysfunctional to a significant degree
♦ The schema is what the person knows. Although it causes suffering, it is comfortable
and familiar. It feels “right”. People feel drawn to events/people that trigger their
schemas. Schemas play a major role in how a person thinks, feels, acts and relates to
others and leads them to inadvertently recreate in their adult lives the conditions in
childhood that were most harmful to them.
♦ Schemas result from unmet core emotional needs in childhood.

According to Young, there are types of early childhood experiences that can cause a child to
have maladaptive schemas. These are the following:
♦ The child who does not get his/her core needs met. The child needed affection,
empathy and guidance but didn’t get it.
♦ The child who is traumatized or victimized by a very domineering, abusive or highly
critical parent.
♦ The child who learns primarily by internalizing the parent’s voice. Every child
internalizes or identifies with both parents and absorbs certain characteristics of both
parents, so when the child internalizes the punitive punishing voice of the parent and
absorbs the characteristics they become schemas.
♦ The child who receives too much of a good thing. The child who is overprotected,
overindulged or given an excessive degree of freedom and autonomy without any
limits being set.

Five Core Emotional Needs For Human Beings:

♦ Secure attachments to others (safety, stability, nurturance and acceptance)

♦ Autonomy, competence, and sense of identity
♦ Freedom to express valid needs and emotions
♦ Spontaneity and play
♦ Realistic limits and self control
Schemas are divided into two types

Unconditional (Primary): These schemas are considered permanent and present regardless
of the circumstances. These are beliefs about self and others developed in early childhood
(ages 0-13 and throughout teenage years depending on severity). Unconditional Schemas
encapsulate what was done to the child without them having any choice in the matter.

♦ Emotional Deprivation
♦ Abandonment/Instability
♦ Mistrust/Abuse
♦ Social Isolation
♦ Failure
♦ Dependence/Incompetence
♦ Vulnerability to Harm or Illness
♦ Defectiveness/Shame
♦ Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self
♦ Insufficient Self-Control/Self-Discipline
♦ Entitlement/Grandiosity
♦ Negativity/Pessimism
♦ Punitiveness

Conditional (the schemas that are developed later): Conditional schemas often develop as
attempts to get relief from the unconditional (core) schemas. In this sense, conditional
schemas are “secondary.” Although not all conditional schemas are linked to earlier (core)
schemas. These schemas are conditional only in the sense that, if the child does what is
expected, feared consequences can often be avoided.

♦ Subjugation/Invalidation
♦ Self-sacrifice
♦ Emotional inhibition
♦ Approval seeking
♦ Unrelenting standards

Schema Disadvantages

Schemas may restrict bias or distort what we attend to or remember thus causing us to
overlook important information. Schemas are highly resistant to change because we generally
select and attend to information that supports our schemas and deny any information that is
inconsistent with them.

Schema Advantages

Contain information about how people think and behave. Help people analyse and respond
appropriately in a particular social situation. Provide guidelines for how to behave in various
social events (event schemas). Help us explain the social behaviour of others (role schemas).

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The Schemas are Grouped in 5 Domains

Domain 1: Disconnecting & Rejection

Expectation that one’s needs for security, safety, stability, nurturance, empathy, sharing of
feelings, acceptance and respect will not be met in a predictable manner. Typical family of
origin is detached, cold, rejecting, withholding, lonely, explosive, unpredictable or abusive.
Abandonment/Instability, Mistrust/Abuse, Defectiveness/Shame, Social Isolation/Alienation,
Emotional Deprivation.

Domain 2: Impaired Autonomy & Performance

Expectations about oneself and the environment that interfere with one’s perceived ability to
separate, survive, function independently, or perform successfully. Typical family of origin is
enmeshed, undermining of child’s confidence, overprotective or failing to reinforce child for
performing competently outside the family. Dependence/Incompetence, Vulnerability to
Harm or Illness, Enmeshment/Underdeveloped Self, Failure.

Domain 3: Impaired Limits

Deficiency in internal limits, responsibility to others, or long term goal orientation. Leads to
difficulty respecting the rights of others, cooperating with others, making commitments or
setting and meeting realistic personal goals. Typical family origin is characterized by
permissiveness, overindulgence, lack of direction, or sense of superiority – rather than
appropriate confrontation, discipline and limits in relations to taking responsibility,
cooperating in a reciprocal manner, and setting goals. In some cases, child may not have been
pushed to tolerate normal levels of discomfort, or may not have been given adequate
supervision, direction or guidance. Entitlement/Grandiosity, Insufficient Self Control/Self
Discipline.

Domain 4: Other Directedness

An excessive focus on the desires, feelings and responses of others, at the expense of one’s’
own needs - in order to gain love and approval, maintain one’s sense of connection, or avoid
retaliation. Usually involves suppression and lack of awareness regarding one’s own anger
and natural inclinations. Typical family origin is based on conditional acceptance: families,
the parent’s emotional needs and desires - or social acceptance and status - are valued more
than the unique needs and feelings of each child. Subjugation, Self Sacrifice, Approval
Seeking/Recognition Seeking

Domain 5: Over-Vigilance and Inhibition

Excessive emphasis on suppressing ones’ spontaneous feelings, impulses, and choices OR on

meeting rigid, internalized rules and expectations about performance and ethical behaviour –
often at the expense of happiness, self-expression, relaxation, close relationships, or health.
Typical family of origin is grim, demanding and sometimes punitive: performance, duty,
perfectionism, following rules, hiding emotions, and avoiding mistakes predominate over

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leisure, joy and relaxation. There is usually an undercurrent of pessimism and worry – that
things could fall apart if one fails to be vigilant and careful at all times. Negative/Pessimism,
Emotional Inhibition, Unrelenting Standards/Hypercriticalness, Punitiveness

Schemas

EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION

The belief and expectation that your emotional needs will not be adequately met by others.
A. Deprivation of Nurturance: Absence of attention, affection, warmth or companionship.
B. Deprivation of Empathy: Absence of understanding, listening or mutual sharing of
feelings/emotions.
C. Deprivation of Guidance and Protection: Absence of strength, direction or guidance from
others.

Origins1 of Emotional Deprivation Schema/ Life Trap:

♦ A parent was cold and unemotional toward you as a child.
♦ You did not have a sense of being loved, cared for or valued as a child.
♦ A parent did not give you enough time and attention as a child.
♦ You lacked guidance and a sense of direction from your parents.
♦ You were forced to take on an adult role in your family as a child. You lacked a true
childhood.
♦ A parent was emotionally absent (alcoholic/drug addict, had a mental illness such as
depression or worked a great deal) when you were a child.
♦ A parent was emotionally/verbally abusive to you during your childhood.

ABANDONMENT

The perceived instability or unreliability of those available for support and connection.
Involves the sense that significant others will not be able to continue providing emotional
support, connection, strength, or practical protection because they are emotionally unstable
and unpredictable (e.g., angry outbursts), unreliable, or erratically present; because they will
die imminently; or because they will abandon the individual in favour of someone better.

Origins of the Abandonment Schema/ Life Trap:

♦ A parent died or left home when you were young.
♦ A parent was hospitalized or separated from you for a prolonged period when you
were a child.
♦ You were raised by someone other than your parents (nannies, siblings, extended
family, etc.) or you were sent away to an institution such as a boarding school at a
young age.
♦ A parent was unstable or physically/emotionally absent (alcoholic/drug addict, had a
mental illness such as depression, or worked a great deal) when you were a child.
♦ Your parents divorced when you were young, or fought so much you were worried
that family would fall apart.

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Not all origins for each schema will be relevant to you.

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 ♦ You lost the attention of a parent in a significant way (a sibling was born or your
parent remarried.)

MISTRUST/ABUSE

The expectation that others will hurt, abuse, humiliate, cheat, lie, manipulate, or take
advantage. Usually involves the perception that the harm is intentional or the result of
unjustified and extreme negligence. May include the sense that one always ends up being
cheated relative to others or "getting the short end of the stick."

Origins of the Mistrust/Abuse Schema/Life Trap:

♦ Someone in your family physically or sexually abused you as a child.
♦ Someone in your family repeatedly humiliated, teased, demeaned, put you down
or played ‘mind games’ with you. (verbal and emotional abuse)
♦ People in your family could not be trusted. They betrayed confidences, exploited your
weaknesses to their advantage, manipulated you, made promises they had no intention
of keeping or lied to you.
♦ Someone in your family seemed to get pleasure from seeing you suffer.
♦ You were made to do things as a child by threat, severe punishment or retaliation.
♦ Someone in your family repeatedly told you not to trust people outside of the family.
♦ One of your parents turned to you for physical affection as a child, in a way that was
inappropriate or made you feel uncomfortable.
♦ People called you names or teased you as a child.

SOCIAL ISOLATION

The belief/feeling that you are isolated from the rest of the world, different from other people
and/or not part of any group or community. You feel excluded, rejected, not good enough,
alone and like an outsider. You feel lonely even when you are with people. You are nervous
around others, you withdraw and isolate.

Origins of Social Isolation Schema/Life Trap:

♦ You felt inferior to other children; you were teased, rejected or humiliated by other
children.
♦ You felt different than other children, even within your family.
♦ Your peers excluded you from their group.
♦ Your family moved a great deal when you were a child and you were never able to
form lasting relationships/friendships.
♦ Your family was different than other families.

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FAILURE TO ACHIEVE

The belief/feeling that you have failed, will inevitably fail or that you are inadequate relative
to your peers (career, school, sports, etc.). You do not feel your successes are justified. You
believe you are stupid, inept, untalented, ignorant, lower in status, less successful than others,
regardless of your outward successes.

Origins of Failure Schema/Life Trap:

♦ A parent was very critical of your performance in school, sports, etc. as a child. A
parent told you that you were stupid, dumb, never succeed, etc.
♦ One or both parents were very successful and you came to believe you could never
live up to their high standards, therefore you stopped trying.
♦ You believed one or both parents did not care about whether you succeeded of they
felt threatened when you did well.
♦ You were not as good as other children, either at school or in sports; you felt inferior.
♦ You may have had a learning disability as a child. Other children humiliated you.
♦ You were unfavourably compared to siblings. You believed as a child you could never
measure up to your siblings.
♦ Your family was poor or less educated than your school mates; you felt inferior to
your peers.

DEPENDENCE

The belief/feeling that you are incapable or unable to handle everyday responsibilities or take
care of yourself without considerable help from others. You feel incompetent and inadequate.
You are indecisive and lack trust in your own judgment. You depend on others to take care of
you and make decisions for you. You lack self-esteem and confidence. Often presents as
helplessness or anxiety, especially in new situations.

Origins of Dependence Schema/Life Trap:

♦ Your parents were/are overprotective and treated you as if you were/are incapable of
taking care of yourself.
♦ Your parents made/make all your decisions for you.
♦ Your parents took care of all the details in your life, so you never learned how to take
care of yourself as an adult.
♦ Your parents did your schoolwork for you as a child. You had no
chores/responsibilities during your childhood/adolescents.
♦ You were/are rarely apart from your parents and have little sense of yourself as a
separate person.
♦ Your parents criticized or questioned your opinions and competence in everyday tasks.
♦ Your parents made you feel so safe that you never had a serious rejection or failure
until you left home.

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VULNERABILITY TO HARM OR ILLNESS

The belief/feeling that catastrophe will strike at any time and that you will be unable to
prevent it or deal with it. You are continually tense, you believe if you let down or relax your
guard something bad will happen. You view the world as a dangerous place.

A. Health/Illness/Medical Catastrophes: You worry obsessively about your health; you may
be a hypochondriac. You have an exaggerated fear of getting/having cancer, AIDS, heart
attacks, etc.

B. Emotional Catastrophes: You fear going crazy, having an emotional breakdown or losing
control.

C. External Catastrophes: You have an exaggerated concern/fear for your personal safety and
the safety of your loved ones. (Elevators collapsing, being victimized by criminals, natural
disasters, etc.)

Origins of Vulnerability Schema/Life Trap:

♦ Your parents were phobic or frightened about specific areas of vulnerability when you
were a child.
♦ Your parents were overprotective of you, particularly around issues concerning danger
of illness. Your parents continually warned you of dangers as a child.
♦ Your parents did not adequately protect you as a child. Your childhood environment
was not safe.
♦ You were often sick as a child.
♦ You experienced or witnessed a serious traumatic event during your childhood.
♦ One of your parents experienced a serious traumatic event and perhaps died.

DEFECTIVENESS/SHAME
The feeling that one is defective, bad, unwanted, inferior, or invalid in important respects; or
that one would be unlovable to significant others if exposed. May involve hypersensitivity to
criticism, rejection, and blame; self-consciousness, comparisons, and insecurity around others;
or a sense of shame regarding one's perceived flaws. These flaws may be private (e.g.,
selfishness, angry impulses, unacceptable sexual desires) or public (e.g., undesirable physical
appearance, social awkwardness).

Origins of Defectiveness/Shame Schema/Life Trap:

♦ Someone in your family was extremely critical, demeaning, or punitive toward you.
You were repeatedly criticised or punished for how you looked, how you behaved, or
what you said.
♦ You were made to feel like a disappointment by a parent.
♦ You were rejected or unloved by one or both of your parents.
♦ You were sexually, physically, or emotionally abused by a family member.
♦ You were blamed all the time for things that went wrong in your family.
♦ Your parent told you repeatedly that you were bad, worthless, or good-for-nothing.
♦ You were repeatedly compared in an unfavourable way with your brothers or sisters,
or they were preferred over you.
♦ One of your parents left home and you blamed yourself.

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ENMESHEMENT

Excessive emotional involvement and closeness with one or more significant other, usually
parents, at the expense of full individuality and normal social development. The belief/feeling
that you cannot survive or be happy without the constant support of the person
enmeshed/fused with. You lack identity outside of the person enmeshed/fused with; you do
not know where one person begins and the other ends.

Origins of Enmeshment Schema/Life Trap:

♦ You were/are rarely apart from your parents and have little sense of yourself as a
separate person.
♦ Your parents were/are overprotective and treated you as if you were/are incapable of
taking care of yourself.
♦ A parent lived vicariously through you as a child.
♦ You did not have friends growing up; you spent most of your time with a parent.

ENTITLEMENT

The belief that one is superior to other people; entitled to special rights and privileges; or not
bound by the rules of reciprocity that guide normal social interaction. Often involves
insistence that one should be able to do or have whatever one wants, regardless of what is
realistic, what others consider reasonable, or the cost to others; OR an exaggerated focus on
superiority (e.g., being among the most successful, famous, wealthy) - in order to achieve
power or control (not primarily for attention or approval). Sometimes includes excessive
competitiveness toward, or domination of, others: asserting one's power, forcing one's point
of view, or controlling the behaviour of others in line with one's own desires - without
empathy or concern for others' needs or feelings.

Origins of Entitlement Schema/Life Trap:

♦ One or more parent did not provide sufficient discipline; your parents spoiled or
indulged you as a child.
♦ You were allowed to get away with irresponsible behaviour as a child without
consequences.
♦ One or more parents appeared superior or highly successful.
♦ You were ill as a child and therefore dependent on your parents. You feel you did not
have a good childhood and therefore you demand or feel people owe you a high level
of care/respect.

INSUFFICIENT SELF CONTROL

Pervasive difficulty or refusal to exercise sufficient self-control and frustration tolerance to

achieve one's personal goals, or to restrain the excessive expression of one's emotions and
impulses. In its milder form, the individual presents with an exaggerated emphasis on
discomfort-avoidance: avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility, or overexertion -
at the expense of personal fulfilment, commitment, or integrity.

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Origins of Insufficient Self Control Schema/Life Trap:
♦ One or both parents did not exercise sufficient control or discipline with you as a
child.
♦ You were not taught impulse control as a child; your parents allowed you to act out
impulses without imposing realistic negative consequences.
♦ You lacked responsibility as a child and were not forced to complete tasks such as
schoolwork and appropriate chores.
♦ One or both parents had difficulty controlling emotions and impulses.

SUBJUGATION

Excessive surrendering of control to others because one feels coerced - usually to avoid
anger, retaliation, or abandonment. The two major forms of subjugation are:

A. Subjugation of Needs: Suppression of one's preferences, decisions, and desires.

B. Subjugation of Emotions: Suppression of emotional expression, especially anger.

Usually involves the perception that one's own desires, opinions, and feelings are not valid or
important to others. Frequently presents as excessive compliance, combined with
hypersensitivity to feeling trapped. Generally leads to a build up of anger, manifested in
maladaptive symptoms (e.g., passive-aggressive behaviour, uncontrolled outbursts of temper,
psychosomatic symptoms, withdrawal of affection, "acting out", substance abuse).

Origins of Subjugation Schema/Life Trap:

♦ A parent tried to control or dominate almost every aspect of your life as a child and
throughout adolescence.
♦ A parent threatened or got angry when you would not do things their way.
♦ A parent did not allow you to make your own choices as a child.
♦ You had to take care of your family because a parent was not around enough or was
not capable.
♦ A parent always talked to you about their personal problems, you were the role of a
listener or care taker as a child.
♦ A parent would make you feel guilty or selfish if you would not do what they wanted
as a child.
♦ A parent was like a saint or martyr - they unselfishly took care of everyone else and
denied their own needs.
♦ You did not feel your rights, needs or opinions were respected as a child.
♦ You had to be very careful of what you did or said as a child because you worried
about a parent’s reaction.

SELF SACRIFICE

Excessive focus on voluntarily meeting the needs of others in daily situations, at the expense
of one's own gratification. The most common reasons are: to prevent causing pain to others;
to avoid guilt from feeling selfish; or to maintain the connection with others perceived as
needy. Often results from an acute sensitivity to the pain of others. Sometimes leads to a

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sense that one's own needs are not being adequately met and to resentment of those who are
taken care of. (Overlaps with concept of codependency.)

Origins of Self Sacrifice Schema/Life Trap:

♦ You experienced too much responsibility as a child for the physical or emotional
welfare of a parent, sibling or of some other close person.
♦ You had a parent who was chronically ill or depressed; you were responsible for
taking care of their needs/wants.
♦ A parent was like a saint or martyr - they unselfishly took care of everyone else and
denied their own needs.

APPROVAL SEEKING

Excessive emphasis on gaining approval, recognition, or attention from other people, or

fitting in, at the expense of developing a secure and true sense of self. One's sense of esteem
is dependent primarily on the reactions of others rather than on one's own natural
inclinations. Sometimes includes an overemphasis on status, appearance, social acceptance,
money, or achievement - as means of gaining approval, admiration, or attention (not primarily
for power or control). Frequently results in major life decisions that are inauthentic or
unsatisfying; or in hypersensitivity to rejection.

Origins of Approval Seeking Schema/Life Trap:

♦ A parent was very critical of you; you did not receive praise as a child.
♦ A parent was emotionally/verbally abusive to you as a child.
♦ You felt inadequate in school therefore excelled in sports, music, etc to gain approval
from peers as a child.
♦ A parent was focused on status and appearance when you were a child.

NEGATIVITY/PESSIMISM

A pervasive, lifelong focus on the negative aspects of life (pain, death, loss, disappointment,
conflict, guilt, resentment, unsolved problems, potential mistakes, betrayal, things that could
go wrong, etc.) while minimizing or neglecting the positive or optimistic aspects. Usually
includes an exaggerated expectation-- in a wide range of work, financial, or interpersonal
situations - that things will eventually go seriously wrong, or that aspects of one's life that
seem to be going well will ultimately fall apart. Usually involves an inordinate fear of making
mistakes that might lead to: financial collapse, loss, humiliation, or being trapped in a bad
situation. Because potential negative outcomes are exaggerated, these individuals are
frequently characterized by chronic worry, vigilance, complaining, or indecision.

Origins of Negativity/Pessimism Schema/Life Trap:

♦ You experienced a major loss or tragedy in your past and have not fully
grieved/accepted the loss.
♦ You had/have a disability that prevents you from experiencing life to the fullest.
♦ You experienced a series of failures in school, sports, etc as a child.
♦ You were ignored by a family member as a child.
♦ You never felt approval or recognition from family members as a child.
♦ A parent was depressed, sad, ill and/or negative when you were a child.

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EMOTIONAL INHIBITION

The excessive inhibition of spontaneous action, feeling, or communication - usually to avoid

disapproval by others, feelings of shame, or losing control of one's impulses. The most
common areas of inhibition involve: (a) inhibition of anger & aggression; (b) inhibition of
positive impulses (e.g., joy, affection, sexual excitement, play); (c) difficulty expressing
vulnerability or communicating freely about one's feelings, needs, etc.; or (d) excessive
emphasis on rationality while disregarding emotions.

Origins of Emotional Inhibition Schema/Life Trap:

♦ A parent was cold, unemotional or stoic.
♦ A parent only expressed one emotion, usually anger.
♦ You were punished for expressing certain emotions as a child.
♦ A parent emotionally/verbally abused you as a child.

UNRELENTING STANDARDS

The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of
behaviour and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of
pressure or difficulty slowing down; and in hypercriticalness toward oneself and others. Must
involve significant impairment in: pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem, sense of
accomplishment, or satisfying relationships. Unrelenting standards typically present as: (a)
perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one's own
performance is relative to the norm; (b) rigid rules and “shoulds” in many areas of life,
including unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, or religious precepts; or (c)
preoccupation with time and efficiency, so that more can be accomplished.

Origins of Unrelenting Standards Schema/Life Trap:

♦ A parent’s love for you was conditional on your meeting high standards as a child.
♦ A parent only gave you affection, approval or attention when you were successful or
perfect as a child.
♦ One or both parents were models of high, unbalanced standards.
♦ One or both parents used shame or criticism when you failed to meet their high
expectations as a child.
♦ A parent was in the military and had very rigid rules on how things should be in
everyday life.

PUNITIVENESS

The belief that people should be harshly punished for making mistakes. Involves the
tendency to be angry, intolerant, punitive, and impatient with those people (including oneself)
who do not meet one's expectations or standards. Usually includes difficulty forgiving
mistakes in oneself or others, because of a reluctance to consider extenuating circumstances,
allow for human imperfection, or empathize with feelings.

Origins of Punitiveness Schema/Life Trap:

♦ You were harshly punished for making mistakes as a child.
♦ A parent would verbally, emotionally or physically abuse you for making mistakes.

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♦ You did not receive affection and approval as a child, the only affection you received
was negative.
♦ A parent was a perfectionist.
♦ A parent was very critical of you as a child.

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 Definitions of schema modes

When schema therapists work with clients they often help them identify their characteristic
schema modes. Clients themselves will often find their own names for them. Although
individuals differ in their personalities, and an individual’s modes can be quite distinctive,
many modes can be found across a wide range of individuals. Lobbestael, van Vreeswijk and
Arntz (2007) have identified 22 such regularly occurring modes, summarized here, with the
names often given to them. Some additions have been made by David Edwards.

Child Modes

Vulnerable Child Modes

Experiences unhappy or anxious emotions, especially fear, sadness, and helplessness, when in
touch with associated schemas.

Common associated schemas: Abandonment, mistrust/abuse, emotional deprivation,

defectiveness, social isolation, dependence/incompetence, vulnerability to harm or illness,
enmeshment/undeveloped self, negativity/pessimism.

Lonely Child Feels like a lonely child that is valued only insofar as (s)he can aggrandise
his/her parents. Because the most important emotional needs of the child have generally not
been met, the patient usually feels empty, alone, socially unacceptable, undeserving of love,
unloved and unlovable.

Abandoned and Abused Child Feels the enormous emotional pain and fear of abandonment,
which has a direct link with the abuse history. Has the affect of a lost child: sad, frightened,
vulnerable, defenceless, hopeless, needy, victimised, worthless and lost. Patients appear
fragile and childlike. They feel helpless and utterly alone and are obsessed with finding a
parent figure who will take care of them. Humiliated/Inferior Child. A subtype of the
Abandoned and Abused Child mode, in which patients experience humiliation and inferiority
related to childhood experiences within and outside the family.

Dependent Child Feels incapable and overwhelmed by adult responsibilities. Shows strong
regressive tendencies and wants to be taken care of. Related to the lack of development of
autonomy and self-reliance, often caused by authoritarian upbringing.

Angry/unsocialized child modes

Vents anger directly in response to perceived unmet core needs or unfair treatment related to
core schemas.

Common associated schemas: Abandonment, mistrust/abuse, emotional deprivation,

subjugation (or, at times any of the schemas associated with the vulnerable child); entitlement,
insufficient self control/self discipline.

Angry child: Feels intensely angry, enraged, infuriated, frustrated or inpatient, because the
core emotional (or physical) needs of the vulnerable child are not being met. They vent their
suppressed anger in inappropriate ways. May make demands that seem entitled or spoiled and
that alienate others.

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Enraged child: Experiences intense feelings of anger that results in hurting or damaging
people or objects. The displayed anger is out of control, and has the goal of destroying the
aggressor, sometimes literally. Has the affect of an enraged or uncontrollable child, screaming
or acting out impulsively to an (alleged) perpetrator.

Impulsive Child: Acts on non-core desires or impulses from moment to moment in a selfish or
uncontrolled manner to get his or her own way, without regard to possible consequences for
the self or others. Often has difficulty delaying short-time gratification and may appear
`spoiled`.

Undisciplined child: Cannot force him/herself to finish routine or boring tasks, gets quickly
frustrated and gives up soon.

Happy/Contented Child Mode

Feels at peace because core emotional needs are currently met. Feels loved, contented,
connected, satisfied, fulfilled, protected, praised, worthwhile, nurtured, guided, understood,
validated, self-confident, competent, appropriately autonomous or self-reliant, safe, resilient,
strong, in control, adaptable, optimistic and spontaneous. (absence of activated schemas)

Maladaptive coping modes

These modes represent the child’s attempt to adapt to living with unmet emotional needs in a
harmful environment. These coping modes may well have been adaptive in childhood, but
they are likely to be maladaptive and self-defeating in the wider adult world.

Surrender
Compliant surrenderer: Acts in a passive, subservient, submissive, reassurance-seeking, or
self-deprecating way towards others out of fear of conflict or rejection. Passively allows
him/herself to be mistreated, or does not take steps to get healthy needs met. Selects people or
engages in other behaviour that directly maintains the self-defeating schema-driven pattern.

Surrender to damaged child modes: In these modes individuals behave as if they are like the
child, with the same beliefs, emotions and behaviours as when the childhood pattern was set
up.

Adopts a coping style of compliance and dependence.

Avoidance
Detached protector: Withdraws psychologically from the pain of the schemas by emotionally
detaching. The patient shuts off all emotions, disconnects from others and rejects their help,
and functions in an almost robotic manner. May remain quite functional.

Spaced out protector: Shuts off emotions by going numb or spacing out. Can give rise to an
experience of being foggy or even unreal and gives rise to states of depersonalization and
cognitive slowing which are dysfunctional.

Detached self-soother: Shut off their emotions by engaging in activities that will somehow
soothe, stimulate or distract them from feeling. These behaviours are usually undertaken in an
addictive or compulsive way, and can include workaholism, gambling, dangerous sports,
promiscuous sex, or drug abuse. Another group of patients compulsively engages in solitary

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interests that are more self-soothing than self-stimulating, such as playing computer games,
overeating, watching television, or fantasizing.

Avoidant protector: Avoids triggering by behavioural avoidance - keeps away from situations
of cues that my trigger distress.

Angry protector: Uses a ‘wall of anger' to protect him/herself from others who are perceived
as threatening. Displays of anger serve to keep others at a safe distance to protect against
being hurt.

Adopts a coping style of emotional withdrawal, disconnection, isolation, and behavioural

avoidance.

Overcompensation
Attention and approval seeker: Tries to get other people's attention and approval by
extravagant, inappropriate and exaggerated behaviour. Usually compensates for underlying
loneliness.

Self-aggrandiser: Behaves in an entitled, competitive, grandiose, abusive, or status-seeking

way in order to have whatever they want. They are almost completely self-absorbed, and
show little empathy for the needs or feelings of others. They demonstrate superiority and
expect to be treated as special and do not believe they should have to follow the rules that
apply to everyone else. They crave for admiration and frequently brag or behave in a self-
aggrandizing manner to inflate their sense of self.

Overcontroller: Attempts to protect self from a perceived or real threat by focusing attention,
ruminating, and exercising extreme control.
• Perfectionistic Overcontroller: Focuses on perfectionism to attain control and prevent
• misfortune and criticism.
• Suspicious Overcontroller: Focuses on vigilance, scanning other people for signs of
• malevolence, and controls others' behaviour out of suspiciousness.
• Scolding overcontroller: Controls the behaviour of others by blaming, criticizing, and
telling them how to do things in a dictatorial and scolding manner.

Bully and attack: Directly harms other people in a controlled and strategic way emotionally,
physically, sexually, verbally, or through antisocial or criminal acts. The motivation may be
to overcompensate to prevent abuse or humiliation. Has sadistic properties.

Conning and manipulative: Cons, lies, or manipulates in a manner designed to achieve a

specific goal, which either involves victimising others or escaping punishment.

Predator: Focuses on eliminating a threat, rival, obstacle, or enemy in a cold, ruthless, and
calculating manner.

Adopts a coping style of counterattack and control. May overcompensate through semi-
adaptive means, such as workaholism.

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 Maladaptive Parent Modes
These modes are internalisations of parents or other important adults from one’s early life. In
these modes, one often takes on the voice of the parent/other adult in one’s ‘self-talk’ –
thinking, feeling and acting as the adult did towards oneself when one was a child.

Common associated schemas: Subjugation, punitiveness, defectiveness, mistrust/abuse (as

abuser), unrelenting standards, self-sacrifice

Punitive parent: The internalized voice of the parent, criticizing and punishing the person.
They become angry with themselves and feel that they deserve punishment for having or
showing normal needs that their parents did not allow them to express. The tone of this mode
is harsh, critical, and unforgiving. Signs and symptoms include self-loathing, self-criticism,
self-denial, self-mutilation, suicidal fantasies, and self-destructive behaviour.

Restricts, criticises or punishes the self or others.

Demanding parent: Continually pushes and pressures the child to meet excessively high
standards. Feels that the `right` way to be is to be perfect or achieve at a very high level, to
keep everything in order, to strive for high status, to be humble, to put others needs before
one's own or to be efficient or avoid wasting time. The person feels that it is wrong to express
feelings or to act spontaneously.

Sets high expectations and high level of responsibility toward others; pressures the self or
others to achieve them.

Healthy Adult Mode

This mode is the healthy, adult part of the self that serves an “executive” function relative to
the other modes. The Healthy Adult helps meet the child’s basic emotional needs. Building
and strengthening the individual’s Healthy Adult to work with the other modes more
effectively is the overarching goal of mode work.

Most adult individuals have some version of this mode, but they vary drastically in how
effective it is. Healthier, higher functioning individuals have a stronger Healthy Adult mode;
individuals with more severe disorders usually have a weaker Healthy Adult mode.

Like a good parent, the Healthy Adult mode serves the following three basic functions:

• Nurtures, affirms, and protects the Vulnerable Child.

• Sets limits for the Angry Child and the Impulsive/Undisciplined Child, in accord with
the principles of reciprocity and self-discipline.
• Battles, confronts or moderates the maladaptive coping and dysfunctional parent
modes (punitive and critical). Challenges the negative parent and reassures the worried
child.

The healthy adult also helps to articulate and express emotions and to encourage the child to
express feelings such as anger and love and rewards the child for expressing her feelings.

The healthy adult leads the frightened child to safety.

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The healthy adult:

• Reassures, helps, supports, protects, encourages

• Stands up for the child, stands up to the critical parent
• Consoles and comforts the lonely child

The healthy adult is able and willing to fight the schemas.

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References

Young, J.E., & Klosko, J.S. (1993). Reinventing your life. New York: Dutton.

Young, J.E., Klosko, J.S., and Weishaar, M.E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s
guide. New York: Guilford.

Schema Therapy Institute of South Africa, www.schematherapysouthafrica.co.za

Recommended Reading:

Young, J.E., & Klosko, J.S. (1993). Reinventing your life. New York: Dutton.

Jacob, G, Genderen, HV & Seebauer, L. (2015). Breaking negative thinking patterns: a

schema therapy self-help and support book. John Wiley & Sons: Chichester, West Sussex,
UK ; Malden, MA.

HIGH (strong)
MODERATE TO HIGH
MODERATE
LOW TO MODERATE

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