Kaylee Elliott

Professor Garcia

English 134

06 March 2023 Commented [MF1]: dont forget to change the date and
add a title

Essay

Mental health is an essential aspect of overall health and well-being, yet it is often overlooked Commented [MF2]: dont forget to indent

and neglected. College can be a challenging and stressful time for students, and it is crucial that

they have access to resources and support to maintain good mental health. At Cal Poly Slo,

mental health is a critical issue that needs to be addressed. Commented [MF3]: maybe try and add how or why to
give some reasoning behind ur claim

Firstly, mental health issues affect a significant portion of the student population at Cal Poly Slo.

According to a recent American College Health Association survey, over 60% of college

students reported overwhelming anxiety. At the same time, 40% reported feeling depressed. Commented [MF4]: where? in america? the world? at cal
poly?
These numbers create an obvious highlight of the need for accessible and practical mental health Commented [MF5]: can probably make this one sentence

resources on campus. This proves how a huge majority of students struggle with some sort of Commented [GC6]: Way to make a good analysis from
your evidence
mental health issue. To put that into perspective, according to Strengthening College Students’

Mental Health Knowledge, Awareness, and Helping Behaviors: The Impact of Active Minds, a

Peer Mental Health Organization, “Among college and university students in the United States,

there is a substantial gap between the need for mental health treatment and the receipt of mental

health services. Recent studies estimate that 20% to 36% of college students deal with some form

of psychological distress’’(Sontag-Padilla et al, 5). Although this is not a study of the students at

Cal Poly, it shows how Cal Poly students Commented [MF7]: i think the end of this sentence got
cut off maybe?
 California Polytechnic University, San Louis Obispo Health center on campus.

Image from Cal Poly website. Commented [GC8]: For online pictures format it this way:
publisher, title, publication date, website, url

Additionally, mental health issues can negatively impact academic performance and overall uiality Commented [MF9]: ?

of life. Students who struggle with mental health issues may find it difficult to focus on their studies,

attend class regularly, and maintain healthy relationships. Mental health issues can also lead to physical

health problems such as headaches, insomnia, and decreased immune system function.

Fortunately, Cal Poly Slo has taken steps to address mental health concerns on campus. The cousling Commented [GC10]: This paragraph can be used as an
apposing viewpoint or a rebuttal to your argument that you
Services Department offers individual and group cousling, crisis intervention, and workshops to help can use to strengthen your essay!

students cope with a range of mental health issues. Additrionally, the university has a robust mental health

awareness campaign, which includess events, workshops, and outreach programs to promote mental

health awareness and reduce the stigma.

However, there is still more that can be done to improve mental health services at Cal poly Slo. The

university should priotize mental health resources and funding to ensure that students have access to

quality mental health services and care. The university should alsp work to reduce the stigma surrounding
mental health and encourage students to seek help when it is wanted and needed.
Commented [MF11]: if you have a specific thing you
think they should do i think you should add that. like make
help more accessible through... just so it seems like you
actually have a specific idea they can do instead of just
kinda saying we need more funding and more resources
 In conclusion, mental health is a crucial issue that needs to be addressed at Cal Poly Slo.
By providing accessible and effective mental health resources, the university can help student
maintain good neantl health, improve acadmeic oerformacne, and enhance overall quality of life.
It is time for the university to prootize mental health and ensure than every studtn has access to
the support they need in order for them to strive in a college environment as well as throughout
life, as college is an important part of someone’s life and how you get through it is just as
important.
Commented [MF12]: overall i think this is a good essay
and i think the topic you chose is really good maybe just add
a little more analyzation about the statistics you use and
make it a little more specific to what needs to be done and
HOW
Commented [MF13R12]: also just read through it cause
theres a few spelling errors and like spacing and font size
needs to be fixed
Commented [GC14]: Reflection:
Great topic and great structure so far! I think that you have
strong point that you can continue to add more sentences
to to make your argument complete. I would also add
personal reflections to increase your pathos as this applies
to you as a Cal Poly student. Other than that keep at it and
this will turn out fantastic!
https://www.acha.org/ACHA/Resources/Topics/MentalHealth.aspx

Peer Reviewed source through library:

https://reader.elsevier.com/reader/sd/pii/S0890856718302247?token=A58295BDA864F3F9156
C74D34EA800597ADB06A3AF0FC3897B842CFAF32E36C48A0DCE98682CC9ADF0DA74
34E74B8354&originRegion=us-east-1&originCreation=20230311010108
Sources through library: