The date is September 5th, 2020.

I lie in my bed trembling and numb with a skyrocketing

heart rate. The first day of school is tomorrow, and although I tell myself that I am not nervous,

my anxiety has other ideas. I have been going to school for most of my life, so I have

experienced the excited jitters before the first day many times, but this was different. Even at 16

years old, I called my mom down to my room to come lay with me, hoping something would be

able to calm the racing inside my head and the gut wrenching fear growing inside of me. This is

just one of the many times that year that my anxiety took control of my life, and pulled me along

for the ride. I have spent countless nights in my room questioning why I am anxious, and

diminishing my self worth due to something that I can not control. Anxiety has been a challenge

that I have always struggled with, and learning to overcome it continues to be one of my

greatest accomplishments.

Anxiety has turned me into the perfectionist and high performer that I am today. Proving

the voice in my head wrong, the voice that tells me that I am not good enough and that I cannot

do something, has become one of my biggest coping mechanisms. I take difficult classes at

school because I know that I am capable of pushing myself to succeed, even though the anxiety

tries to tell me differently. Before every test, quiz, or presentation, I calm my racing heart and

wipe my sweaty palms, reminding myself that I am intelligent and that I have done everything in

my power to set myself up for success. Additionally, I spend my free time participating in

different extracurriculars and community service activities in order to keep myself busy and

distracted from my anxious tendencies.

Instead of using my anxiety as an excuse, I use it as my biggest motivation. Sulking in all

of the negative aspects of anxiety would be easy, but instead I push myself to put a positive spin

on a bleak reality. I have learned a lot about myself on my journey to overcoming anxiety, and

one of my main takeaways is that I am capable of doing so many amazing things. I have made it

through high school with a stellar GPA, along with a long list of extracurriculars, proving to

myself that I am more than capable of succeeding and that my anxiety does not define me.
 The racing in my head continued, even after my mom came into my room to try to calm

me down. But since that night, I have almost completely stopped the racing and silenced the

voices in my head. At the end of the day, it is easy to look at all of the things that anxiety has

taken from me, but it would be foolish of me to ignore the things that it has given me as well.

Looking at anxiety from a positive perspective has helped me tremendously in learning to deal

with the crippling effects that it can have on my mental health and everyday life. I am extremely

proud to say that anxiety no longer has such a tight grip on me.