ULISES TORRICELLI – Language III

Do you agree?

Agreement is essential for couples to work. In fact, cracks in relationships originate where couples disagree and they
may cause serious divisions. Agreeing on important issues, such as how to raise children or how to manage family
economy, or on the most trivial and daily matters seems to be crucial in order to succeed in keeping a relationship
stable. In ‘Us’ by David Nichols, Connie and Douglas base their relationship on a number of assumptions about their likes
and interests, their personalities and their approach on how to raise their teenage son, Albie. These differences can be
interpreted as the main reasons why their marriage ran its course.

First of all, from the beginning of Connie and Douglas’ relationship, Douglas’ effort to keep up appearances is more than
obvious. He was just the opposite of Connie. He was fond of Science. He could spend hours in a laboratory scrutinizing a
fly and weeks without going out. He had almost no social life and he knew nothing about art. He was not so attractive
and, more importantly, he was absolutely dull. However, when he met Connie and she gave him a chance, he felt he
needed to change, to adapt himself, so that Connie did not reject him. Therefore, he rearranged his flat, putting up Van
Gogh posters on the wall; he bought cushions, rugs, razors, lotions, different kinds of soaps, and many other goods he
would never use just to please her. Later on, he even started taking novels with him when he commuted or travelled
even though he was not in the least interested in reading them. This was a ‘new’ Douglas, but it was not the real one.

In the second place, throughout their marriage, the disparities between Connie and Douglas’ personalities brought them
loads of difficulties. Connie loves spontaneity: she doesn’t feel the need to know how to do something in order to do it.
She’d rather try and make as many mistakes as she needs till she gets it right. An example of this is her mastery of the
French language, which she acquired while she was in France when she was young. Douglas’ mind, on the other hand,
works in a rather dissimilar way. He’s a really methodical, efficient, and structured kind of person and prefers planning
everything out, in order to make the most of his time and energy. Yet, over the years, that’s meant his life is predictable
and passionless, which Connie resents him for.

Last but not least, the upbringing of Albie, Connie and Douglas’ only child, has been the source of numerous arguments
and fights. Both parents had diverse expectations of him. Douglas wanted Albie to be more like him, to appreciate
knowledge as he did and to pursue a career to do with Science. He attempted to encourage him in various ways and
failed enormously. Examples of these are the lego incident, where he glued his lego bricks together, and the school
competition, which he ruined by demanding a recount that took ages. In contrast, Connie would like to ‘let Albie be’ and
to let him find his own way.

In conclusion, Connie and Douglas’s marriage has been corroded by the friction of their diverse, and in many cases
opposite, ways of thinking, living and enjoying life. The lack of communication on certain central issues throughout their
relationship resulted in assuming their differences would not interfere with each other’s personal goals, though they did.
Taking all this into account, I believe agreement is a key ingredient in any couple and that the only way to achieve it is by
sharing each other’s thoughts honestly and freely.