Active listening

The Basis of Communication

Did you know that...?

Active listening
Active listening is the act of giving
one’s full attention to the person
speaking, showing interest and
focusing not only on their words,
but on their gestures, emotions
and paraverbal communication as
well. (Gallego, 2015)
The notion of active listening was introduced by Carl
Rogers in the 1940s when he designed his client-
centred therapy.
Rogers (1951) proposed that true and empathetic
listening has a therapeutic dimension that requires
the listener to be consistent, honest, empathetic,
respectful, loving, not judgmental and to always show
“unconditional positive consideration”.

Listening before being listened to

In his fifth habit, Stephen Covey (1989) proposes that we “seek to understand first and then to be
understood”.
This proposal, despite seeming very basic, implies a profound paradigm shift.
Most people try to be understood first. Our intention when listening is rarely to understand the other
person, since we spend most of the conversation speaking or preparing to speak or respond without
genuinely having listened to what was being said.
When the other person speaks, we generally “listen” on one of four levels, going from worst to best:
(1) We ignore them, not listening at all

(2) We pretend to pay attention and only listen to parts of the conversation

(3) We listen carefully, focusing all our energy on the other person

(4) Active listening: we listen empathetically, stepping in the other person’s frame of reference,
seeing things through this frame, understanding their paradigm and what seeing the world
as that person feels like.
12 rules for active listening

Update what’s motivating you to listen: tell yourself immediately before listening: Why is it important
that I listen?
This will remind you here and now of what’s motivating you to listen.

Offer the other person the chance to be heard.

Center your person on the person speaking and not on yourself. Stop talking.

Eliminate distractions , both external and internal.

Focus your attention exclusively on the other person’s words, ideas and sentiments.

Indicate that you’re listening with a receptive body posture. Keep eye contact.
Use empathetic (mirroring) or approving expressions, sounds and gestures.

Suspend personal judgment, avoid expressing agreement or disagreement.

Simply show that you understand what the other person is saying.

When there are pauses, wait, this will encourage the other person to keep speaking.
Allow silent moments to stand, don’t rush to fill them in.
Avoid interrupting the other person or finishing their sentences.

Use open questions to encourage the other person to keep speaking or explain themselves better.
Ask about their emotions or about aspects that interest them.

Summarise or paraphrase what you heard to clear up questions or show that you’ve understood.

Ask clarifying questions if you lose track of the conversation.

Be aware of your emotions, since they can interfere with the active listening process or provide valuable
information on what’s happening.

Listen to the emotional tone and respond to the emotions that might lie behind the speaker’s words,
gestures, expressions, movements and paraverbal language.
Show that you feel what the speaker feels.

Keep the key points of what’s being said in your mind:

The more attention and motivation you show, the more you will retain the basics of the information, with
less distortion.
 Implications
of listening

When we listen we
Listening implies hear not only sounds,
hearing and we pick up on gestures,
interpreting. postures, movements,
Listening emotions and
Listening is a generates
completely active concerns, and we
interpretations. assign meaning to all of
phenomenon.
We’re not passive it, even how it affects
receivers. the listener.
We speak to
be heard.
Listening
validates “Remember that nature has given
speaking. us two ears and one mouth,
that we may hear twice as much
. Zeno of as we speak.”
Elea

Greek
philosopher

Listening with your eyes: active readers

Active listening takes place with the ears (and with every other sense, the brain
and the heart), and its visual parallel is active reading.
In his novel Rayuela (1963), Julio Cortázar posits that an active or complicit
reader is one who gets involved in what he reads and is interested to the point of
becoming one with the text he is reading, taking a part, getting involved, playing
the role of the author’s partner and setting aside the passive role of merely
consuming the text he’s reading.

References checked
ALEMANY, Carlos (1998) 14 Aprendizajes Vitales: Aprender a escuchar bien. Bilbao: Desclee De Brouwer, 2010.
CORTÁZAR, Julio (1963) Rayuela. Buenos Aires: Sudamericana.
COVEY, Stephen (1989) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Barcelona: Paidós Ibérica. 32nd ed., 2015.
GALLEGO, Verónica (2015) Comunicación eficaz. Caracas: Universidad Simón Bolívar.
ROGERS, Carl (1951) Client-centered Therapy: Practice, Implications and Theory. Barcelona: Paidós Ibérica, 1981.