Dear Help Page,

I can still control it, but not for long. I would like to belive I’m happy, but I would be lying to
myself. I kind of was, happy I mean, for a short period of time, when I could swim in the pool
until 10 p.m. Since school started I begun to feel it again, and it´s getting worse, unfortunately.

I used to cry over na 80 out of 100 mark, and I still do, but my grades are even lower than
before. I remember, when I was twelve, I felt like nothing was enough, I used to cry every
night, but eventually it got better with my parents help. At a point I didn´t even cared about
my grades anymore, I got happier and my grades were even the highest grades in class. This
year, it got worse again, I can´t stop it alone, but I don´t want to bother anyone. Until this day
my parents still tell me it´s ok, but it feels like a dirty little lie now. All steps, all breaths, every
fall, it counts for my future.

It´s me. I get that, I´m the problem. This pressure comes from mostly me. In the past I was the
perfect girl, always full of joy, with the highest grades, people would tell me how pretty I was,
especially boys. Now I feel like I lost it all. When I try to tell people something is wrong, they
say “Weren´t you the best in class last year?”, “That´s not even bad, my grade was lower.”,
“You were the perfect human being, now look at you.”, “Just go take a nap.”. Does it hurt?
Sure, when I hear this it looks like someone died, I did.

What can I do to control it? Or simply ignore it? Not the people, but my mind, the voices that
never stop yelling “Try harder, that´s not enough. You´re never enough, you will never have
what you want with that grade.”

Thank you for Reading and trying to help,

Mafalda Silva