How do you know if you are emotionally intelligent?

Can emotional intelligence be

taught?

Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to

understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress,
communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
If you're emotionally intelligent you have the ability to:
 Identify what you're feeling
 Know how to interpret your emotions
 Understand how your emotions can impact others
 Regulate your own emotions
 Manage other people's emotions
The 5 features of emotional intelligence
Daniel Goleman  determined that there are five fundamental features of EQ, each with their own
benefits:
1. Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to accurately recognise your: emotions, strengths, limitations, actions and
understand how these affect others around you.

When you’re emotionally intelligent, you understand yourself at a deeper level. That means recognizing
both your strengths and your weaknesses. You’re confident about what you contribute and where you
need help from others. 
You’re also in tune with your emotions. For example, you’re able to identify when situations are
triggering a negative response in you, and you can take preventative measures to avoid unhelpful,
unhealthy reactions. 

2. Self-regulation
Self-regulation allows you to wisely manage your emotions and impulses - you show or restrain certain
emotions depending on what is necessary and beneficial for the situation. For example, rather than
shouting at your employees when you're stressed you may decide which tasks can be delegated.
3. Empathy
To be empathetic means you are able to identify and understand others' emotions i.e. imagining yourself
in someone else's position.
When people are connected with their own emotions, they’re better able to relate to others.
They can imagine how different situations might feel and provide support accordingly. 
Emotionally intelligent people can read others too. They observe social and emotional cues and
see past simply what is said to what someone might be experiencing underneath. They care
about how their actions affect other people, and they’re able to make predictions to avoid
causing hurt
4. Motivation
Being self-motivated consists of: enjoying what you do, working towards achieving your goals and not
being motivated by money or status.
People with emotional intelligence are not motivated by rewards like fame, money or
recognition. Instead, they are driven by their own inner needs and goals.  They tend to be
action-oriented and committed.
5. Social skills
Social skills facilitate interaction and communication with others in verbal and non-verbal ways. Having
strong social skills allows people to build meaningful relationships. It also provides a better
understanding of themselves and others.
Effective social skills consist of managing relationships in a way that benefits the organisation.
Can emotional intelligence be taught?

Emotional intelligence is a set of skills and behaviors. While some people will be naturally more
adept at certain aspects, EI can be learned, developed, and enhanced.
Recognize your emotions and name them
What emotions are you feeling right now? Can you name them? When in a stressful situation, what
emotions typically arise? How would you like to respond in these situations? Can you stop to pause and
reconsider your response? Taking a moment to name your feelings and temper your reactivity is an
integral step toward EI.
Ask for feedback
Audit your self-perception by asking managers, colleagues, friends, or family how they would rate your
emotional intelligence. For example, ask them about how you respond to difficult situations, how
adaptable or empathetic you are, and/or how well you handle conflict. It may not always be what you
want to hear, but it will often be what you need to hear.
Read literature
Studies show that reading literature with complex characters can improve empathy. Reading
stories from other people’s perspectives helps us gain insight into their thoughts, motivations,
and actions and may help enhance your social awareness.
Relationship management
Working well with others is a process that begins with emotional awareness and your ability to
recognize and understand what other people are experiencing. Once emotional awareness is in play,
you can effectively develop additional social/emotional skills that will make your relationships more
effective, fruitful, and fulfilling.

Moving emotions
Ultimately, an emotionally intelligent leader focuses on influencing emotions in order to set the
best tone for certain work. There are a number of ways to do this. “Everything signals
something, but how you move the emotions of others will depend on the group,” says Caruso.
“You can use tone of voice, pacing, setting, day of the week, or time of day to change the tone.
As the leader, you deliberately behave in an emotionally intelligent manner, carefully engaging
in moving your emotions and those of your team to set the best tone to achieve the task. You
will notice how the team is collaborating, communicating, and progressing, always ready to step
in to help move the team in the right direction.” Sometimes it just takes a little tweak; other
times it will take more work.