The Big Six

Our mind can hook us in a thousand and one different ways - but almost everything it says to hook
us falls into one (or more) of the following six categories. When we get hooked by these categories
of thinking (and all the thoughts, feelings, memories, emotions and urges that go with them), they
often pull us into self-defeating patterns of behaviour. But when we can notice and name a category
(‘I’m noticing JUDGMENTS,’ or ‘Here’s my mind hooking me with the PAST’ or ‘Aha! REASON-
GIVING!’ or ‘I’m having thoughts about the FUTURE’ or ‘Here’s another SELF story’) this often helps
us to unhook from the thoughts and feelings within it.

PAST
Getting hooked by the past includes: dwelling on painful memories, going over old hurts and
mistakes, grieving for what has been lost, feeling resentment or regret, ruminating, blaming oneself
or others, or dwelling on how much better life used to be.

FUTURE
Getting hooked by the past includes: worrying, catastrophizing, and predicting the worst. Imagining
the future as scary or bleak: bad things will happen; people will hurt you, abandon you, or let you
down; life will be empty and miserable.

SELF
Our “self-concept” or “self-image” includes all the thoughts, beliefs, and ideas we have about who
we are and how we got that way. We often get hooked by a negative self-concept: I’m not good
enough, I’m broken, I’m damaged, I’m disgusting, I’m unworthy, I’m hopeless, I’m useless, I deserved
it, I’m to blame; I’m worthless, unlovable, defective; I’m nothing, I’m no one; I’m fat, stupid, lazy.
And so on, and so on. (Sometimes people get hooked by a positive self-concept, which gives rise to
narcissism, arrogance, grandiosity, overconfidence, or a sense of superiority or entitlement.)

JUDGMENTS
We may get hooked by judgments about life (it sucks, it’s pointless), the world (it’s unsafe,
dangerous, evil), other people (they don’t care, you can’t trust them), ourselves (as above), the past
(as above), the future (as above), and our own thoughts and feelings (they’re bad, unbearable, a sign
there’s something wrong with me)

RULES
Rules are often useful; it’s good to know which side of the road we have to drive on. But when we
get hooked by rules, our behavior becomes rigid and inflexible, and we tend to act in self-defeating
ways. The rules our mind hooks us with often contain words like “should,” “have to,” “must,”
“need,” “ought,” or terms and conditions like “only if,” “can’t unless,” “shouldn’t because,” “won’t
until.” Some common examples: “I must do it perfectly—and if I can’t, there’s no point in doing it,” “I
have to drink to cope,” “You can’t trust men,” “I shouldn’t let people get close because they’ll hurt
me.” The more we get hooked by our rules, the more we feel compelled to follow them—and the
greater our anxiety when we bend or disobey them.

REASONS
Rules overlap with reasons: all those reasons we give ourselves (or others) as to why we can’t
change, shouldn’t change, or shouldn’t even have to change: I can’t do it, it’s too hard, I don’t have
the time, I don’t have the energy, it’ll go wrong, I’ve tried before and I always fail, it’s too scary, I’m
too depressed, and so on. When we get hooked by these reasons, we don’t change.

© Russ Harris 2021 www.ImLearningACT.com