Just Thoughts

I once asked … is this my calling? Is this the life I have to

live every day of my life wondering how love should be shown to
others, always feeling like I am not loving enough and I believe
I can do more for me. You will think what an amazing personality
she is?

Funny thing! There seems to always be “but” besides a happy

beginning. Now more friends, more people to care for, but really
is this what I want? I love to help people I get a lot of
fulfillment from it. Is this what God wants for me, I don’t know.

How would I know? I don’t study his word as I should or pray as I

should but I preach about it. I really don’t want to be signboard
to people and not enter into that which I lead many to.

The other path of life is not me, no fulfillment, I can’t fit in

it and can’t phathom myself in it.

I posted More Friends, More Responsibilities. I came here without

friends and I flourished that way. Should I go back to the way I
was? I know so much about people that I don’t think it is
possible but this deprives me of my joy, my fulfillment. Now
nothing seems to be freewill but forced.

I came here to make myself and my parents proud! Now it seems

like I am going off track. This niceness seems to be the cause of
this drift or is it that I misunderstood what it means to be
nice, loving and caring! Maybe now it is foolishness.

I move from a world of achievements to a world of even greater

achievements. I am not saying anything because I know the
importance of words. I really want to look back at this day when
I wrote this article and smile that I realized my mistake but I
got back on track, achieved my goal and dream by the power of
God’s spirit.

Now it is IN GOD WE TRUST!