Vargas, Samantha Carmelli S.

BS Biology – II SAS 1 – M

My Social Self and the Process of Selfhood

Contrary to the essentialist belief that the self is biologically determined by influences
such as genes, chromosomes, and internal and external reproductive organs, some
sociologists suppose that the self is different from the body, and that the former arises only
from social experience. Among these sociologists who studied how self develops from social
interactions was George Herbert Mead. Following the theory that individuals are born a blank
slate (tabula rasa), Mead believed that the self is not initially present at birth. But rather, the
self results from the individual’s relations with the process of social experience and activity
and to the other individuals involved in that process.

As best exemplified by children, Mead suggested that the genesis of the self proceeds
in three distinct stages namely, the preparatory stage, the play stage, and the game stage.
Preparatory stage occurs in early childhood when the child still lacks a complete sense of self.
That being said, imitating the people within their social environment is their way of
interacting with them. Obviously, I can no longer recall my personal experience of engaging
in the process of imitation. But being present on my younger sister’s early childhood, I have
first-hand observations of her trying to imitate us, her older siblings, on the things we do.
Whenever kuya cleans the car’s exterior, my two year-old sister, Sanya, would get her own
wiping material to clean the car as well. Similarly, if she saw me doing my school works at
home, she would get herself a pen and a paper, and will start scribbling as if she knew how to
write. Indeed, children in this stage are more likely to mimic the things he/she sees. It is for
the same reason that parents would want to be cautious in front of their child, especially by
avoiding the use of foul language.

But as a child grows older, he/she becomes capable of communication by using

symbols, words, and gestures rather than mere imitation. During the play stage, a child
becomes aware of social relationships; that his/her self is a separate entity yet interdependent
with other individuals. This is depicted on their tendency to pretend to play as other people,
e.g., as a mother, as a doctor, as a policeman, etc. That is to say, they take different roles of
their significant others – people who have great influence to them. The same is true for me as
a child. Since I preferred to play alone, I had these imaginary companions or playmates
which I produced in my head. I also liked to create scenarios of social interactions, where I
take different roles of another person, such as the teacher from my kindergarten or the TV
host I watch from our television, wherein I acted based on my perceived point of view of
these people. We say that this stage is not simply imitation because the child is able to make
responses to a set of stimuli. Moreover, the child is capable of creating social interactions,
rather than just mimicking them.

Finally, during early school years, children begin to engage in games. To take part in
the game, a child realizes that he/she must follow the game’s set of rules. That is, he/she must
take into account the rules of other players. Needless to say, early childhood education is a
crucial stage in children’s cognitive and social development. In fact, it is when they first learn
how to interact with others, including peers and teachers. Going to primary school for the
first time was a frightening yet exciting moment for me. I was quite anxious upon seeing new
faces in school, nevertheless I was looking forward to make friends with them. But as
mentioned earlier, the game stage requires the child to learn and follow a set of established
game rules, learn about their roles in the game, and learn the roles of the other participants. In
a classroom setting, I knew my role as a student to my teacher and a classmate to the other
students in the class. My teacher expected me (and the rest of the class) to be attentive,
obedient, and polite all the time, so I became one. On the other hand, making it up to the set
of rules of my peers was a more complicated process, perhaps due to the evident individual
differences among us. Some classmates became my friends because I gave them snacks
during recess. Others liked me because I had a nice Barbie bag. Whatever the reason may be,
it should be noted that taking part in the game of social interactions is highly influenced by
how the child conform (i.e., compliance, identification, internalization, or nonconformity)
with the rules of other participants.

More importantly, it is in the game stage that a child begins to have a grasp of society.
They see that there is an existing set of standards common to a social group. Consequently,
they start to acknowledge these attitudes and beliefs of other individuals, which Mead
referred to as the “generalized others,” and they try to see themselves from these people’s
point of view. As the child continues to accumulate more knowledge from the generalized
others, as well as experiences of social interactions, he/she is able to refine his/her own ‘self-
concept’ – our definition of who we are based on what we consider as our own traits,
attributes, personality disposition, etc.

If we are to distinguish the play stage with the situation in an organized game, we see
that in the latter, the child finds the need to take the attitude of everyone else involved in the
game. Although differing on their respective approaches, both the play and the game stages
contribute significantly in the genesis of the self. Play stage develops the self by allowing
individuals to take on different roles, pretend, and express one’s expectation of others. In
reference to the given example above, the play stage has helped me in my early grade school
years to pretend to be someone whom I think my classmates would like to have as a friend.
At least among girls, I noticed that they preferred to befriend those who are girly in physical
appearance, attitudes, and behaviors. In this regard, I had my mom dress me up with pink
trendy clothing most of the time. I also went to school wearing accessories like headband,
hair clips, and bangles. Likewise, this stage also helped me play the role of my teacher’s
expectation of us, as students. That is, as mentioned above, I must be attentive in class,
obedient to her orders or requests, and polite towards other people, among others.

On the other hand, games develop the self by allowing individuals to understand and
adhere to the rules of social activities. This developmental stage is said to occur in two parts,
the first one being learning the attitudes and behaviors of other members of the group. This is
followed by the organization of such attitudes and behaviors into a generalized other. As a
result, the individual develops a self-conscious self which determines how he/she will act and
react to others. Similarly, the game stage or the process of socialization has allowed me to
learn both material and nonmaterial culture of my immediate society. By engaging myself in
social interactions, I learned that money is used to pay for goods and services and that church
is a sacred place of worship. I have also come to learn the nonphysical components of culture
including beliefs, values, norms, language, and organizations. As highlighted above, it is
through social interactions that we learn important information and skills needed for us to be
part of the society, and for us to develop a “self.”