GRATITUDE-NEZZYL

Evaluation:
Focus: The essay focuses on the factors that affect students’ academic performance, which is
clearly stated in the introduction. However, the essay goes off-topic in some parts, discussing
issues such as teacher effectiveness and critical theory, which are not directly related to the
main topic.
Grade: B-

Organization: The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and
conclusion. The body paragraphs are divided into four sections, each discussing a different
factor that affects academic performance. However, the essay could benefit from better
transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.
Grade: B+

Progression: The essay progresses logically from one point to the next, with each paragraph
building on the previous one. However, some of the points made in the essay are not fully
developed, leaving the reader with unanswered questions.
Grade: B

Development of ideas: The essay provides some evidence to support its claims, such as citing
studies that show a correlation between intelligence and academic achievement. However, the
essay could benefit from more specific examples and data to support its arguments.
Grade: B-

Use of language: The language used in the essay is generally clear and concise, but there are
some instances of awkward phrasing and unclear sentences. The essay could benefit from more
varied sentence structures and more precise word choices.
Grade: B

Conventions: The essay follows standard conventions of grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
However, there are some errors that could be corrected with more careful proofreading.
Grade: B+

Language and vocabulary: The essay uses appropriate academic language and vocabulary, but
could benefit from more varied and sophisticated language to enhance the overall quality of the
writing.
Grade: B-

Suggestions:
- Stay focused on the main topic and avoid going off-topic.
- Use better transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.
- Develop each point more fully with specific examples and data.
- Vary sentence structures and use more precise word choices to improve clarity.
- Proofread more carefully to eliminate errors.
- Use more varied and sophisticated language to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Overall grade: B