REFLECTION PAPER: COMMUNICATION PATTERNS ASSIGNMENT 1

REFLECTION PAPER: COMMUNICATION PATTERNS ASSIGNMENT

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Reflection Paper: Communication Patterns Assignment

The central point in Petersen’s book ‘Why Don’t We Listen Better?’ is that

communication can be improved when listening improves and that effective communication can

strengthen intimate interpersonal relationships across public and private contexts. Effective

communication and healthy relationships are just but different parts of the same coin. Catalyzed

by effective listening skills, Petersen (2015) writes to anyone who wants to improve his/her

listening skills using practical techniques. The author used humorous terms such as the Flat-

Brain Theory of Emotions, the Flat-Brain Syndrome, and the Flat-Brain Tango to describe it

when communication becomes a problem. In Petersen’s (2015) words, “I am convinced we can

use any of our emotions to build or destroy. If we recognize and accept them, we can choose to

act on them in compassionate, responsible, constructive, and creative ways, making a more

hospitable world,” emotional control when communicating is unnegotiable. Across our personal

and professional contexts, these words manifest themselves clearly as our communication

behaviors dictate the health of relationships we build. 

Reflection

Emotions bags when one experiences a flat brain theory, a great deterrence to effective

communication. Individual communicators can act right to build effective communication when

they accept that emotions can sometimes attack them and have an impact on others. When I

experience flat brain theory, I bang objects surrounding me while I walk away. This is

detrimental because I have a couple of vital things I have broken, including my laptop. What I

have now developed is the self-awareness to avoid damaging or hurting things and people in my

environment. In reading the text, I can notice when I am becoming emotional and try to take
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steps to manage it. Every time I am faced with emotional scenarios that trigger anger, I take a

deep breath to cool down. This way, I am able to control and cool any possible impulses.

Listening is a skill. One way communicators can manage conversational emotions is to be

able to differentiate between thoughts and feelings. Uniquely you (2017) report differentiates

between the two terms. The opinions, mostly prior prejudice we hold towards others are thoughts

while feelings are the modifications answers of those thoughts. Petersen’s (2015) presentation

has equipped me with numerous insights. One change I have achieved is the stability of my

personality by being able to control my emotions. Being quickly annoyed when people do not

side with my opinions is a character I held for so long. Today, I communicate with people and

manage my expectations based on the results of the conversation and inmate feelings held about

the person. This way, I have been able to manage my conversations and create very stable

relationships. Mindfulness awareness has assisted me in managing my emotions and developing

compassion for myself and others (Bakhtiar et al., 2018). Mindfulness is achieved by breath

control and sensory relaxation to quiet the tempest generated by emotions inside my head and

generate good energy for what I am doing. In the process, I receive good energy, which aids in

changing my attitude toward myself and others.

Listening more is a crucial skill to manage emotions during the conversion process. In

my private and public settings, the book has taught me to engage in active listening when dealing

with people to avoid prejudice in judgment and to stay focused on the goal of communication.

Previously, the objective of my listening process was majorly based on what I already know

about the person and the message. As a result, I experienced mixed effects at the point my

listening curve was altered. Even in more engaging conversations today, I don’t experience brain

fallouts as a have strived to create a clear sense of clear mind characterized by more active
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listening. One thing I will never forget is the burnout I experienced during my first year. Two

members of my group withdrawn at the time when our professor required us to present a project

within a day. As the group leader, I have to recruit others or take their roles in the lengthy

project. As a result, I held a meeting with the rest of the members, listened to their views, and

decided on the most viable. We thus subdivided the roles among ourselves and completed the

project. Active listening is powerful. Chowdhury (2020) underlines that active listener’s embrace

careful thinking and clear adoption of ideas to deal with emotions as they erupt.

I strategize to deepen my interpersonal communication by developing a very strong

personality. Petersen (2015) dictates that speaking ‘withouts’ is an important strategy of

strengthening communication and ultimate relationships. My strong personality is now focused

on speaking without interruption, judging, or attacking my communication partner or the listener.

This kind of communication behavior roots a defensive attitude to the listener making them

ready to interrupt back. This kind of situation diligently kills communication patterns by causing

a tense and emotional scenario. Part of a strong personality is to develop friendly and

professional interpersonal communication when exchanging feelings and ideas across personal

and public settings. I ensure this by displaying strong moral and ethical values while

demonstrating strong professionalism. Throughout, this strong personality has helped me manage

myself and my relationships. Among my close friends and family, I strive to make them

understand me by opening up on what I think and feel. This way, I gain very honest emotional

support.

Conclusion

Emotions build a very realistic and compassionate environment. Developing

communication patterns is a process. It takes active listening to develop strong interpersonal

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relationships, effective communication skills, emotional regulation, and skills in differentiating

thoughts and feelings. My main point of concern is active listening. Active listening creates more

engaging conversations dealing with emotions to improve effective communication and ultimate

intimate interpersonal relationships across public and private contexts. 

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References

Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in

relationships (2nd ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications.

Bakhtiar, A., Webster, E. A., & Hadwin, A. F. (2018). Regulation and socio-emotional

interactions in a positive and a negative group climate. Metacognition and Learning,

13(1), 57-90.

Uniquely You (2017). Uniquely You, Inc. Leadership online profile professional expanded.

Retrieved September 3, 2021 from https://uniquelyyou.org/profilesystem/report/331973.

Chowdhury, M. (2020). What is Emotion Regulations? Emotional skills and strategies. Positive

Psychology. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/emotion-regulation/.