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A Thousand Leaves by Bellasunshine
A Thousand Leaves by Bellasunshine
Title: "Carlisle & Esme's Story," an outtake from "A Thousand Leaves"
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Follow Carlisle and Esme as they navigate the loss of family.
A Thousand Leaves
Outtake: Carlisle & Esme's Story
“Dr. Cullen, this is Officer Kevin Lyons with the Forks Police
Department.”
He slammed the phone down, not bothering to ask for specifics. Emmett
wasn't in town at the moment, which left only Edward. He tore off his
coat before dashing out the door, stopping briefly at the nurses’
station.
He searched for Edward, finally seeing him sitting on the ground, his
wrists cuffed behind his back.
It wasn't much later that Edward was hauled to his feet, and Carlisle
helplessly watched as he was placed in the back of a patrol car. All
he could do was stand there, watching everything play out in slow
motion.
When Bella started screaming from the back of the ambulance, Carlisle
nearly dropped to his knees. He wanted to go to her, to comfort her,
but in the numbness of his own grief and confusion, he blocked it
out.
He had to call Esme. He didn't want her to hear it from a secondhand
source. He pulled his phone out and hit her speed-dial number.
“Hello, darling,” she said, her soft voice filling his ears. He
closed his eyes, turning his back to the scene.
“Esme, I have something to tell you, and it's not … well, it's bad.
Are you seated?”
“Carlisle?” she questioned, her voice lifting an octave. “What's
wrong?”
“I'm afraid Renee Swan has been murdered.”
Esme gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. “Oh! Oh, Carlisle. That's
… oh, poor Bella. Is she okay? Are you with her?”
“I'm at the Swan home now,” he said. “Esme, that's not all. Edward's
here.”
There was a pause as Esme worked to process his words. She dropped
into the nearest chair as the blood drained from her face.
“Carlisle, what do you mean?”
“He's not talking, Es, but it looks bad. I don't know what happened.
They've got him handcuffed, and-”
Esme began weeping, and Carlisle wanted nothing more than to reach
through the phone and comfort her.
“Did he kill her, Carlisle? Did he?” she asked despondently. “Please
tell me it's a mistake. Please!”
“I don't know!” Carlisle shouted, frustration in his words. “I don't
know, Es. He won't talk to me. I have to go for now. I'll call when I
know something.”
He closed the phone as a pretty woman who had been speaking to Edward
left the patrol car and began walking toward him.
“Dr. Cullen, I'm Detective Rosalie Hale. Are you doing okay?”
He looked at her incredulously. “No, I'm not doing okay. I want some
damn answers. What did my son say to you?”
“He's not saying much,” Rose replied, glancing over her shoulder
toward the car.
“Is he under arrest?”
“Not at the moment. If you'd like, you can drive him to the police
station. We'll question him there.”
Carlisle nodded, and Rose walked away to speak to Charlie, who grew
angry when told Edward was going to be released into his father's
custody.
Carlisle quickly dialed Esme and told her they would be at the police
station shortly.
He began making his way toward the patrol car when a deputy opened
the door and pulled Edward out. Carlisle grabbed his son into a hug,
but Edward merely stood there, unresponsive, even as Carlisle draped
his jacket over his shoulders.
“I'll expect to see you there in ten minutes,” Rose said to him as he
and Edward walked toward the Mercedes.
“We'll be there,” Carlisle responded, glancing at Edward who was
staring straight ahead. He laid a hand on his son's back and opened
the car door for him.
He was well aware that the detective was following them as they
headed toward downtown. He looked over at Edward, who sat unmoving.
He wasn't even sure if his son had blinked.
“I called your mother.”
“You shouldn't have,” Edward said with a frown.
“Don't be absurd. Of course I should have. She's your mother,”
Carlisle replied. “She'll be meeting us at the station.”
“Dad, that's not necessary.”
Well, at least he's talking, Carlisle thought. “I'm afraid it is,
son.”
“She'll just get upset, and I don't think she should be subjected to
this.”
Carlisle's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his thoughts going
down a saddening path. “To what? What exactly is this? Did you kill
that poor woman? Bella's mother?”
Oh my God, son, what have you done?
Carlisle's heart broke as his son glanced at him.
When Edward finally told him what happened, that he had been touching
Bella when the chief entered the house, Carlisle gasped in horror.
“No, Dad, not like that,” Edward answered. “Jesus Christ.”
Carlisle's relief was miniscule given the big picture. His cell phone
rang and he flipped it open.
“This is Carlisle.”
“Carlisle, it's Jason. Esme just called me. My God-”
“Jason, we're on our way to the station,” Carlisle responded.
“I'm out the door right now. Whatever you do, don't let him speak to
anyone without me. Got it? He hasn't spoken to anyone already, has
he?”
“No, I don't think so.” He looked at Edward. “Jason wants to know if
you said anything to anyone. Did you answer any questions?”
Edward shook his head.
“He says he didn't,” Carlisle told his old friend.
“Good. I'll be there shortly.”
As they neared the station, Esme was still several minutes away. She
knew better than to drive when upset, but she had to get to her son.
He was probably scared, and Esme wanted nothing more than to hug him
and tell him it would be okay.
“Carlisle,” Esme said, standing. She crossed the room and stepped in
front of him, laying her hands on his cheeks. “Honey, I'm sure
Jason's doing the best he can.”
Carlisle shook his head as he backed away from her. “It's not good
enough.”
Jason left without another word, and Carlisle locked himself away in
his study for the rest of the day. He read article after article
about the case, trying to find contradictions in evidence. He wasn't
a lawyer, he was a doctor, but the hope that he could find something
that someone else might have missed kept him up many nights.
Carlisle tuned everything and everyone out, except for work. He
returned to the hospital, working long hours. It was only when he was
with patients that he didn't think about his son's future.
Esme spent most of her days at home with Alice and Emmett. They
watched movies, they read, they cooked, they did things together to
keep each other from falling apart. There was an Edward-shaped hole
in their lives, and it wasn't until they were each alone that they
were forced to deal with it.
When it was decided that the trial would move to Seattle, Carlisle
and Esme went house-hunting. They knew that staying in Forks was
likely not an option no matter the outcome.
Carlisle left his post at Forks General, and Esme tied up loose ends
with her business. The house that the Cullens had called home for
nearly twenty years went up for sale.
They sat stone-faced in the courtroom, silently supporting Edward
each day of the trial. They saw Bella every day. So close, yet so far
away. The day she testified, the hurt and disbelief was still so raw
that none of them were all that shocked when Alice declared in front
of the entire courtroom that Bella was no longer her best friend.
Esme sobbed quietly as Bella described her feelings for them all. She
had always thought of Bella as a daughter, and it pained her
immensely to lose her. She still remembered Bella as a young girl
with a sweet smile and a pure heart.
The day that Edward was found guilty was the final nail in the coffin
for the Cullens. They each retreated. Esme rarely saw her husband. He
came home for three or four hours at a time, long enough to shower
and grab a nap in his own bed.
Esme would attempt to sit down with him, to encourage him to eat a
home-cooked meal, but he'd always decline and head off to the
hospital once again.
She had wished that Emmett and Alice were closer, that Emmett would
have moved to Seattle, and Alice wouldn't have gone to New York. Her
loneliness was deepening, as was her depression.
On their wedding anniversary, Carlisle came through the door at
midnight and went straight to bed. Esme had been sitting in the
living room, a bottle of wine and a box of tissues on hand.
The next morning, she was surprised to find him seated in the kitchen
at the breakfast table. Hope flowered in her chest, then deflated
when he merely mumbled a good morning to her.
“You forgot our anniversary,” she boldly stated, taking a seat across
from him. Her words were laced with sadness rather than malice.
He lowered the newspaper and looked at her. “I'm sorry?”
“Our anniversary,” she repeated. “It was yesterday.”
He glanced at the date on his watch, then noticed the time. “Shit,
I'm late.” He stood quickly, tossing the paper on the table.
He left without another word, and Esme sobbed into her hands. It
wasn't the last important date that Carlisle would forget, but Esme
still loved him.
For his part, Carlisle felt like a complete louse for forgetting
their anniversary, though he failed to see any point in celebrating.
He couldn't bear to sit with his wife and toast to their years of
marriage when they had failed as parents.
When they went to see Edward, it was forced and painful. They didn't
know what to say to him, and by the time they left, Esme was in
tears.
And to top it all off, Emmett had revealed that he had started dating
Rosalie Hale. Carlisle couldn't fathom Emmett's need for this, but
Emmett wasn't about to back down.
Carlisle wasn’t sleeping, afraid that the sight of his son covered in
blood, or Bella’s piercing cries, would haunt him in his dreams.
Esme was always asleep by the time Carlisle would arrive home. He
would stand at the door to their bedroom and watch her for some time,
a glass of brandy or scotch or vodka in his hand. She would stir, and
he would back away from the door, intent on not letting her draw him
in.
She was hurt, and he knew that. He hurt just as much over the loss of
their son, over his freedom. As much as he wanted to go to Esme, to
hold her at night and tell her he would always love her, he couldn’t
take the risk. He didn’t want her to get her hopes up that life would
ever be normal again.
It wouldn’t.
One night, nearly a year after Edward was sent away, Carlisle came
home to find Esme sitting in the living room. There was an emotion on
her face that Carlisle had never seen before.
Loathing.
“It’s late,” he said as he drew off his coat and draped it over a
chair. “I figured you’d be asleep.”
“Are you having an affair?” she asked, keeping her voice steady to
mask her pain.
Esme wrung her hands together, her eyes on him. She didn’t want to
believe that her husband, the man she had given her heart, soul and
body to for so long, could stray so far from her, but he was clearly
getting consoled somewhere, and it wasn’t by her.
“I called the hospital tonight. They said you’d left over two hours
ago. It’s not the first time that’s happened, Carlisle. Where do you
go when you’re not here? I never see you, and-”
“I need you, Carlisle. Please come back to me,” she whispered, tears
running down her cheeks. “We can get through this, and-”
“I know everything is not okay!” she cried, getting to her feet. “But
I’m doing my best, Carlisle. I’m trying, and if you would actually be
home with me once in awhile, you could try, too. What the hell are
you doing? If you aren’t having an affair, what are you doing? Are
you drinking yourself into oblivion? Is that it?”
Carlisle slammed his glass down and stormed to her, putting a finger
in her face. “Don’t you dare say things like that to me.”
Esme didn’t back down. She lifted her head a little higher and stared
back at him defiantly.
He dropped into a chair, and for the first time in his life, he began
to sob. Esme went to him and fell to her knees, grabbing his hands.
“Carlisle, please. I miss you. I know you think there’s no hope, but
there is. Please, come back to me.”
Two days later, Carlisle and Esme hired an investigator, and then
another when the first said he couldn’t help them. The second didn’t
do much better, telling them that perhaps there was nothing that
would help their son because he really was where he belonged.
It was easier for them to get through each day when they weren’t
reminded of Edward.
And then came the call from Emmett that changed everything.
Carlisle had been flying back and forth between Seattle and Chicago
for some time. He missed his hometown, and was anxious to begin a new
life there. He and Esme had decided just weeks prior that there was
no longer any reason to keep up appearances, and Esme filed for
divorce.
“Dad, it’s me,” Emmett said, his tone hurried. “Edward’s getting
out.”
“It’s Bella, Dad. She did it. She got information to clear him.”
"Wait, I'm sorry. Did you say that Isabella has been working to get
him cleared? Emmett, are you sure?"
"Dad, it's already happened…" Emmett said, going on to tell him about
how Bella and Rose were missing. "Can you and Mom fly back? Edward's
going before a judge in the morning, and … it'd be nice if you could
be here."
"What do you mean Isabella is missing? And Rose? What the hell is
going on, son?" Carlisle was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk,
one hand on his hip as he walked.
“Dad, they’re gone. I don’t know what happened. The cops are looking
for them. Just, please, can you get here as soon as possible?”
They might all have been freed from their personal prisons, but the
pain wasn’t over.