Business Communication in Organizations

Class 3: Composing Business Messages

1. YOU ATTITUDE

Definition:

Instead of:
1. Tuesday is the only day that we can promise a quick response to purchase order
requests. We are swamped the rest of the week.
2. At Construction Resources, we are proud to supply the highest-rated engineered
wood in the entire Midwest

Try This:
1. …

2. …

Even better:

When to avoid “you” attitude:

Instead of this:
1. You failed to deliver the customer’s order on time.
2. You must correct all five copies by noon

Try this:
1. …
2. ….

2. MAINTAIN ETIQUETTE

Definition:

Instead of this:
You’ve been sitting on our order for two weeks, and we need it now!

Try this:

3. EMPHASIZING THE POSITIVE

Definition:

Instead of this:
1. It is impossible to repair your laptop today
2. We wasted $300,000 advertising in that magazine
Try this:
1. …
2. …

If you find it necessary to criticize or correct,

Instead of this:

1. The problem with this department is a failure to control costs.

2. You failed to provide all the necessary information on the previous screen.

Try this:
1. …
2. …

If you’re trying to persuade audience members to buy a product, pay a bill, or perform a
service for you, emphasize what’s in it for them.

Instead of this:
1. We will notify all three credit reporting agencies if you do not pay your overdue bill
within 10 days.
2. I am tired of seeing so many errors in the customer service blog.

Try this:
1. …
2. …

4. BIAS-FREE LANGUAGE

Definition:

Is it political correctness?

5. BUILD CREDIBILITY

6. TONE

Find the balance between:

Avoid:
Use:
Chose active voice to:
Chose passive voice to:
7. DIRECT VS INDIRECT PATTERN
8. IMPROVE YOUR WRITING TECHNIQUE by DEVELOPING EMPHASIS

1. Use Vivid words

Someone will contact you as soon as possible.

2. Label the main idea:

Consider looking for a job online, and focus on networking.

3. Make it emphatic:

4. Make it parallel:
Our Super Bowl ads have three objectives: We want to increase product use, introduce
complementary products, and our corporate image will be enhanced.

Let’s practise:
Emphasis
For each of the following sentences, circle (a) or (b). Be prepared to justify your choice.
1. Which is more emphatic?
a. Our dress code is good.
b. Our dress code reflects common sense and good taste

2. Which is more emphatic?

a. A budget increase would certainly improve hiring.
b. A budget increase of $70,000 would enable us to hire two new people.

3. Which is more emphatic?

a. The committee was powerless to act.
b. The committee was unable to take action.

4. Which de-emphasizes the refusal?

a. Although our resources are committed to other projects this year, we hope to be able to
contribute
to your worthy cause next year.
b. We can’t contribute to your charity this year.

5. Which sentence places more emphasis on the date?

a. The deadline is November 30 for health benefit changes.
b. November 30 is the deadline for health benefit changes.

6. Which is less emphatic?

a. One division’s profits decreased last quarter.
b. Profits in beauty care products dropped 15 percent last quarter.

7. Which sentence de-emphasizes the credit refusal?

a. We are unable to grant you credit at this time, but we welcome your cash business and
encourage you to reapply in the future.
b. Although credit cannot be granted at this time, we welcome your cash business and
encourage you to reapply in the future.

8. Which sentence gives more emphasis to leadership?

a. Jason has many admirable qualities, but most important is his leadership skill.
b. Jason has many admirable qualities, including leadership skill, good judgment, and
patience.

9. Which is more emphatic?

a. We notified three departments: (1) Marketing, (2) Accounting, and (3) Distribution.
b. We notified three departments:
1. Marketing
2. Accounting
3. Distribution

Parallelism
Revise the following sentences so that their parts are balanced.
10. (Hint: Match adjectives.) To be hired, an applicant must be reliable, creative, and show
enthusiasm.
11. (Hint: Match active voice.) If you have decided to cancel our service, please cut your
credit card in half and the pieces should be returned to us.
12. (Hint: Match verbs.) Guidelines for improving security at food facilities include inspecting
incoming and outgoing vehicles, restriction of access to laboratories, preventing workers
from bringing personal items into food-handling areas, and inspection of packaging for signs
of tampering.
13. (Hint: Match adjective–noun expressions.) The committee will continue to monitor
merchandise design, product quality, and check the feedback of customers.
14. (Hint: Match verb clauses.) To use the fax copier, insert your meter, the paper trays must
be loaded, indicate the number of copies needed, and your original sheet should be inserted
through the feeder.
15. (Hint: Match ing verbs.) Sending an e-mail establishes a more permanent record than to
make a telephone call.