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1. What is Communication

2. Intrapersonal Communication

3. Interpersonal Communication
“You build a better business by building better People”
-Zig Ziglar
• Studies have proven that a person’s success in his work

depends by 85% on communication proficiency and 15% on

his practical or specialized professional skills

“Communication refers to the act by one or more persons of

sending and receiving messages – distorted by noise- with

some effect and some opportunity for feedback”.

Joseph Devito, Communicology, 1978

“There are four ways, only four ways, in which we have
contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by
these four contacts: how we look, what we do, what we say,
and how we say it”.

Dale Carnegie
• Experience • Emotions
• Education • Mood
• Jargon words • Attitudes
• Vague words • Ambiguity
• Ambiguity • Subject Knowledge
• Culture • Non-verbal messages
• Perceptions • Hearing difficulties
• Prejudice • Noise Level
Not Known to Self 2. Blind 3. Unknown

Known to Self 1. Open 4. Hidden

Not
Known to Others
Known to Others
• We interpret things according to our
values, beliefs, attitude.
• Individuals may look at the same thing
yet perceive it differently.
• We interpret what we see and call it
reality.
• Selective Perception

• Projection

• Stereotyping

• Halo effect

• Contrast effects
• I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
• We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has
no end.
• We have imported lamps in our garden and they have the stars at night.
• Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
• We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
• We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
• We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
• We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.
I didn’t know we were THAT poor . . .
• Perceptions affect Awareness of Problems.

• Perceptions affect Analysis of Problems.

• Perceptions affect Interpretations of Data.

• Perceptions affect Judgments of Potential outcomes.

• Treat others as they would like to be treated
People usually communicate using:

• Verbal/oral means

• Words / Written means

• Body language
 7%

38 % 55 %

Visual Vocal Verbal

 1. Eye Cues 2. Smile

3. Hands
Shaking Hands

4. Legs
Zone b

Zone A
Select the picture that carries the meaning of each of the six feelings:
• Surprise, fear, anger, disgust, joy, sadness.
 Pianist/comedian Victor Borge put it
wonderfully when he described a smile as
“the shortest distance between two people”.
Communicating Equality
 Opened

Engaged Listening

Eager Evaluating

Ready to agree Attentive

Responsive Reflective
Forward Backward
Combative Fugitive Bored
Let me speak
Let me go
Aggressive
Rejecting
Defiant
Closed Defensive
Lying
• If you want to build more credibility, use the open palm
gesture
• Eye rooted on the slides or ceiling or floor
• Avoiding Eye Contact
• Reading from notes
• Fidgeting, Jiggling and Swaying
• Hunched Shoulders
• Standing at Attention
• Crossed arms
• Hands in pockets
• Hands near mouth or face area
• Use of close palm gestures
• Pointing fingers
• Elegance affects

• Dress to impress!
• Vocal quality affects the listener

• Vocal quality reflects your sincerity, enthusiasm, and

knowledge of the topic being discussed

• Controlling voice helps you maintain listener’s attention

• There are three vocal characteristics you can control to
become a more effective speaker :
• Volume
• Rate
• Pitch / Tone
• Volume is a vocal characteristic that must be fitted to the
environment
• Room size, number of listeners, and external noise influence
the volume Max. Volume

Min. Volume
• Rate is the speed at which you speak
• Nervous speakers speak rapidly
• Speaking rate should not drop much below 120 words per
minute or you risk losing listener attention
High speed

Low speed
• Pitch is the highness or lowness of your voice
• When your vocal muscles are taut, your voice has a high
pitch
• When your vocal muscles are relaxed, your voice has a low
pitch
• Conclusion : Rate and volume affects your pitch then you
should maintain an even and natural pitch in most situations
through a certain type of language.
1. Positive

2. Negative

3. Inflammatory
• Draws both the speaker and listener into a conversation
• Presents an all-inclusive attitude
• Makes all parties feel empowered
• Reflects confidence in messages
• Includes phrases such as “we can” and “we will”
• Can be expressed in various ways “can’t”, “won’t”, “don’t”

but Usually expressed by the word “no”

• Delivers a blunt attitude

• Ends conversation
• Stirs intense negative emotions in the listener

• Prejudicial toward gender, ethnicity, or physical attributes

• Inappropriate in the work place

• We have a problem

• We think

• We can’t do X
• We have a problem • We have a solution

• We think • We believe

• We can’t do X • We can do Y (alternative )

• But
• You didn't understand what I said
• you are wrong
• Unfortunately I can not
• I am not responsible for that
• Because I already told you that
• I do not know
• Open-ended questions
• What, who, where, when, why, and how?

• Closed-ended questions: Help guide the conversation

• Do you … ? The answer is yes or no
• Reflective or leading questions to encourage the speaker to
keep talking
• Tell me, what do you think, and then, for real
• How can I help you?

• Can you explain to me more?

• How do you feel about this?

• How do we avoid what happened?

• what's your opinion about this subject?

• Answer the question with another question

• Ask a question and don’t listen to the answer

• Intrusive question

• Ask a question at the wrong time

• Sense of humor

• Awareness of body language

• Physical appearance

• Being a good listener

Listening is a Difficult Matter
Hearing – Physical process, natural, passive

Listening – Physical as well

as mental process, active,
learned process, a skill

Listening is hard.
You must choose to participate in the process of listening.
“Seek First to Understand and then to be Understood”.

-Stephen R. Covey
• The process of recognizing, understanding, and accurately
interpreting communicated messages and responding to spoken
and/or nonverbal messages.
Steps to Effective Listening:
• Hearing
• Interpretation
• Evaluation
• Respond
 Empathic The Intent to
understand with
Listening your heart & mind

Attentive Paying attention on the words

Listening said & comparing it to your
own experience
Selective Hearing certain parts of the conversation
Listening Hearing what interest you

Yeah! Huh.. Right

Pretending
giving the appearance you listen
Ignoring
Not really listening at all - making no effort to listen
Obstacles to Effective Listening:
• Prejudging the communication.

• Repeating/preparing a response.

• Filtering out messages.

• Inefficiently using the thought-speech time differential.

• Focusing attention on language or delivery.

• Feedback enables speakers to adjust/fine tune their

communication – through learning the effect of their

messages.
A feedback is considered to be effective when it is:

• Immediate

• Honest

• Appropriate

• Clear

• Informative
• The Sandwich Method is so named because the pieces of bread

represent positive feedback/compliments while the meat of the

sandwich (or innards if you’re vegetarian) represents constructive

criticism.
1. The 1st Slice of Bread: Start off with positive feedback
(authentic praise of something they did recently)
2. The “Meat of the Matter”: Provide your constructive
criticism
3. The 2nd Slice of Bread: End on a positive note
• Concentrate on issues NOT personalities.
• Be clear & specific.
• Use “I” statements
“You were unclear” “ I couldn’t follow”
“You make me so mad” “I feel angry when you”
• Use positive words. “And” instead of “But”.
• Give suggestions for improvement. (XYZ method)
When you speak fast (X), it makes me feel uncomfortable & I
couldn’t follow (Y). Would you speak a little bit slowly (Z) instead?
• The goal is to repair, not destroy.
• Describe the behavior and do not explain what is behind the
behavior or self-evaluation.
• Use we instead of you.
• Be careful not to criticize your colleague in front of others.
• Assume the good in yourself and in others.
• Choose the right time for constructive criticism.
• Do you often find that others coerce you into thinking their way?
• Is it difficult for you to express your positive or negative feelings
openly and honestly?
• Do you sometimes lose control and become angry at others who
don't warrant it?
• You decide how to lead your life, pursue your own goals,
dreams and establish your own priorities.

• Express yourself and say, “No”, “I don't know”, “I don't

understand”, or even “I don't care”.

• You possess the right to your own values, beliefs, opinions,

and emotions - and the right to respect yourself for them.
• You recognize your right to change your mind, to make
mistakes with full understanding and acceptance of the
consequences.
• You have ability to be free to express yourself honestly in
relationships if they don't meet your needs.
 The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective Leaders and its Impact
on communicating with others
Seven Magical Words
• We may have no control over what life throws at us, but
we always have a choice about how we are to respond.

• Have the strength to admit your mistake.

• Must have a big dream.

• The road to success begins with a plan.

• Must realize what is important and what is not
important.

• Manage your time.

• Always think POSITIVE

• Always seek SOLUTIONS that benefit both parties

Be an active listener
• Synergy - When the whole is greater than the sum of the
parts

• BRAINSTORM with others to find the best synergistic

solution to a problem
Factors which make up the human condition

• Mental and Spiritual Exercise

• Physical Exercise
1. Be proactive.
2. Begin with the end in mind.
3. Put first things first.
4. Think win win.
5. Seek first to understand then to be understood.
6. Synergize.
7. Sharpen the saw.
7. Believing there is one reality
6. Choosing the wrong communication method
5. Responding defensively
4. Failing to share information
3. Failing to be direct (Jargon / Expressions / Abbreviations /
Long talks)
2. Breaking confidentiality
1. Failing to listen
1. Think carefully about what you want to achieve before starting any
communication.
2. Avoid Defensiveness.
3. Share Information
4. Listen carefully to what is said.
5. Block any biases that may hinder your listening. or evaluation of the other party.
6. Learn to empathize and Be tactful.
7. Be aware of body language.
8. Pause often for comment and feedback.
9. Don’t go on too long.
10. Be assertive when you need to be!
• Be quick to praise & slow to criticize
• Be flexible and treat others as they would like to be treated
• Find excuses as they are the drug of choice
• Be kind to unkind people. They probably need it most.