Attachment styles in kids

As a parent, have you ever wondered how your child's attachment will affect you as an adult? Would
they become a "mommy's boy" or a "cold fish"? Attachment is an often underestimated concept in its
role during infancy and beyond. Parents or caregivers need to find the best way to evoke positive bonds
in children. This process will mold them and transform them into sane children and adults. With
information about different attachment styles and how secure attachments in children can bring out the
best in them, this article reviews and answers a variety of attachment questions.

Secure Attachment
A secure attachment style is the most desired attachment style in children. In this way, they can better
develop positively for the future. Children with a secure attachment style show stress when their
caregiver leaves the room. Despite this, they quickly calm down and regain their composure when their
caretaker returns. Children with a secure attachment style feel protected by their caregivers and can rely
on them. Children with a secure attachment style are able to explore and play more, using their
caregiver as a starting point for their exploration of the world. Studies have shown that securely
attached children are more empathetic later in childhood. These children are also described as being
less disruptive, less aggressive, and more mature than children with ambivalent or avoidant attachment
styles.

Ambivalent Attachment
Ambivalently attached children tend to be very suspicious of strangers. These children experience
significant distress when separated from a parent or caregiver. However, they do not seem to be
reassured or consoled by the return of their parents. In some cases, the child may passively reject the
parent by refusing to feel comfortable or openly displaying direct aggression toward the parent. As
adults, people with an ambivalent attachment style often feel reluctant to get close to others and fear
that their partner will not reciprocate. This leads to frequent breakups, often because the relationship
seems cold and distant.

Avoidant Attachment
Children with avoidant attachment styles tend to avoid parents and caregivers. This avoidance often
becomes particularly pronounced after a period of absence. These children may not reject parental
attention, but they also do not seek comfort or contact. Avoidantly attached children show no
preference between a parent and a stranger. As adults, avoidant people tend to struggle with intimacy
and close relationships. These people don't invest much emotion in relationships and experience little
stress when a relationship ends.

Disorganized Attachment
Children with a disorganized-insecure attachment style show a lack of overt attachment behavior. Their
actions and reactions to significant others are often a combination of behaviors, including avoidance or
resistance. These children are described as exhibiting dazed behavior and sometimes appearing
confused or worried in the presence of a caregiver. You may exhibit anger and erratic behavior but may
come across as depressed, withdrawn, and unresponsive. The disorganized attachment style is not easy
as it is an attachment pattern that stems from trauma, fear, distrust and abuse. The child never manages
to feel safe, even when it seeks closeness.