Raghunathan 1

Varun Raghunathan

Mrs Zinken

ENG3U1-13

10 May 2023

Wipeout

My first time skiing was a mess. I was terrible at it, I couldn't turn properly, or stop and I

wiped out on my first hill. I thought skiing just wasn’t for me but after some recollection I

walked away that day with an invaluable lesson.1

I remember the first time skiing like it was yesterday, it was actually for a 7th grade class

field trip and everyone was ecstatic. This was mostly because this was one of the first field trips

where we didn’t go to some random museum for a ‘learning experience’ no no no, this was

literally a full day off from school just hitting the slopes. I was excited but slightly nervous at the

same time. I had never skied before or had any experience with winter sports such as skating or

snowboarding but I figured I could wing it and still have a great time. We were going to Glen

Eden, it wasn’t the biggest ski resort but for 7th grade me it was certainly an unforgettable

experience.

When we got off the bus we were directed to the main lodge to leave our bags and

belongings, after that we headed to line up to get our skis and equipment. Once I got my helmet

and skis I waddled over to the small practice hills known as the ‘bunny hills’. We were informed

1
Intro strategy: personal anecdote. I used a personal anecdote here as a bit of a precursor as to what
would happen in my essay, it intrigues the reader as it prompts them to read further to understand the
details of what happened to me on my first time skiing, and what lesson I learned.
 Raghunathan 2

by the ski instructors that you had to pass a series of skills tests on the bunny hills to be able to

go on the big hills. I started to get a little worried. I didn’t want to be that one guy who was stuck

on the bunny hills the whole time. My mind started panicking before I even started skiing. What

if I don’t pass? What if I’m the only one left on these hills? What if my friends go on without

me?2 I suddenly had this sense of urgency to pass and proceed to the big hills. After scrambling

to get my skis on, the instructors walked us through a few basics of skiing, like how to turn, stop

and what to do if you fall etc. Then we went up to the small bunny hill to practice some drills like

turning and stopping. They had set up some cones for us to navigate around to practice our

turning and we were expected to stop properly at the bottoms of the hill. Needless to say, skiing

did not come naturally to me. Fall after fall, I started to get rather frustrated.

I already noticed some kids got a little sticker on their day passes to go on the big hills,

and slowly but surely most kids passed their tests and started to leave the bunny hills. I was not

one of those kids. After a little more practice I trudged3 back to the cabin for lunch. I noticed my

friends passed their tests and were planning to hit a big hill after lunch. A lightbulb went off in

my head. What if I took my friend's sticker and he went to just pass the test again? I told them

my idea and they were fine with it. So after lunch I took his sticker and put it on my day pass and

he went to pass the test again to get another sticker. In less than 5 mins he was back in the lunch

hall and we were ready for some real hills.

2
Sentence type: Anaphora. The anaphora is effective here because it helps express my sense of worry
and anxiety to the reader. It effectively shows the panic I was experiencing at the time and helps the
reader understand my fear of being left out which influences my decisions later on. The reader will make
this connection as they’re reading.
3
Diction choice: Trudged (negative connotation). I used this word to describe how I walked back to the
cabin, as I was feeling frustrated and tired. The choice can help the reader better relate to how I was
feeling in the situation.
 Raghunathan 3

We made our way up to the ski lifts and waited in line. After a few minutes it was our turn

to board the ski lift. The lift operator walked over to take a look at our day passes, and after a

quick look we were good to go. We got on the lift and began our ascent. We arrived at the top and

followed a pathway to get to the hills. The first hill my friends wanted to do was a black

diamond, and me being new to skiing had no idea what that meant but I decided to follow along

anyway. For context black diamond hills are a high difficulty hill which are suitable for

intermediate or advanced skiers. We made our way to the start of the hill and I froze in my

tracks.

As I stood atop the ski hill my eyes widened in awe of the breathtaking view that lay

before me. The hill below was blanketed in a coat of glistening white snow. I looked across in the

distance as I gazed upon what felt like majestic mountains4. The air was crisp and frigid. The

serenity of the air was only broken by the echoes of skis carving in the snow and the sounds of

laughter and excitement. The sun radiated a fine golden hue over the landscape as it illuminated

the slopes and casted a warm glow on my face despite the -20°C temperature.5

Despite the scenery I was absolutely terrified. This hill was massive. To say I was not prepared

was an understatement, but before I could think about what to do, my friends were already going

down the hill. I had a feeling of regret, I wished I just stayed behind on the small hills but I had

to go down anyway so I decided to just go all in. I was skiing straight down and I picked up

speed rapidly. I could feel the snowflakes in the air collide onto my face, suddenly I couldn't keep

my eyes open from all the snow and high speeds. I started to lose control as I tried desperately to

4
Literary device: Alliteration
5
Literary device: Imagery. The imagery used here helps to break up the essay as It describes the scene
of the most pivotal event in the story. Using imagery I can almost put the reader in my shoes to make
them feel what I felt at that specific moment through some of the 5 senses.
 Raghunathan 4

stop and turn, and then CRASHHH!6 It all felt like a blur, my head was ringing and my eyes

were barely open. I just remember some people coming over to help me, and after that I just

remember the bus ride home as me and my friends had a good laugh about it.

Ultimately I did learn a good lesson that day, which is not to take shortcuts. I did not get

better at skiing that day, I couldn't stop or turn to save my life and I ended up wiping out on my

first hill, but I did come to realize that the best results in life take time. From that day forward I

was always mindful to dedicate more time to my hobbies and skills to get better at it, and I came

to terms with the fact that there is no benefit to taking the fast way out.7

6
Literary device: Onomatopoeia
7
Concluding strategy: Circle technique. Here I circle back to the beginning of my essay in which I remind
the reader of my anecdote and what happened, but I also explain the lesson I learned which gives a
satisfying conclusion to the essay. The reader is left with a clear message at the end and has their
questions answered.

Criteria
Dev. &
Org. ● Uses the chosen essay
Content format / essay organization
effectively to convey clear
ideas
● Memorable introduction
and conclusion establish a
focus
Form and
Style ● 1 example of precise, vivid,
natural diction that adds to
the understanding of the
essay
● 1 Literary device adds
depth to the writing style
● 1 Sentence type is
appropriate for purpose
and audience
● Proper conventions
(grammar, spelling,
punctuation, MLA format)
Raghunathan 5
Guidelines for Success Marks
● Essay format does not / does follow the required criteria
of its specific type (narrative / cause & effect /
comparative)
● Paragraph structure needs improvement / ideas
organized well / structure is unique or creative
/10
● Introduction is missing a hook, does not connect to the
topic effectively, is adequate, uses a hook & introduces
topic effectively, is gripping
● Conclusion is incomplete / adequate / effective /
powerful
● Diction choice is missing/ awkward /adequate / fitting /
strong / highly effective
● Literary device is missing / does not fit the definition
labelled / is adequate / is well-chosen / enhances the
message / original & unique
● Sentence type is missing / inaccurate / adequate / good / /10
well-chosen / very effective / original & unique
● Conventions (spelling, grammar, and punctuation)
contain many / some / few / no errors
● MLA paper format contains many / some / few errors

Reflection
● Footnotes clearly label
techniques being used and
explain how each of the
techniques is effective.
*Ensure that you have 5
footnotes, one for each
technique (intro, diction,
literary devices, sentence
types, conclusion).
Raghunathan 6
● Techniques are not labelled / some or all not correctly
labeled / are labelled correctly
/5
● Explanations:
focus on definitions rather than effects
offer limited / adequate explanation of the effect
are well-developed and explore the effect clearly &
appropriately / thoughtfully / thoroughly / with
insight & depth