DIALECTICS

What does the term “dialectic” mean and why is this group called Dialectical Behavior Therapy?
The technical definition: Dialectics is the art or practice of arriving at the truth by considering
opposites and differences, combining and resolving them into a coherent synthesis, and
working toward a process of change through the integration of opposing forces.
Dialectics is about finding balance or the middle road.
A dialectic is two opposites; a set of opposing issues that require different and contradictory
responses; extremes. Examples: “All or nothing” types of thinking and feeling.
Dialectic failure: occurs when you alternate between the two extremes, never finding balance
(feeling everything all the time or pushing all of your feelings away and trying not to feel
anything at all; thinking you can conquer the world OR feeling like a failure.)
Dialectical success: aka finding balance is achievable with solid mindfulness skills, which form
the foundation of emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness skills.
It helps to think of opposites on a continuum. Synthesis/balance and good mental health, lies
somewhere in between. The fundamental dialectic in DBT is that of “acceptance vs change.”
DBT skills provide what you need to be able to find the balance between contradictory goals,
desires, or issues. A dialectical view refers to seeing all available options, looking at the whole
and considering all sides of an issue before integrating it into your own personal view.

Needs and wants Opposing needs and wants

Acceptance Change
The need to accept yourself as you are The need to change to reach your goals
True False
Trust Suspicion
Good Bad
Right Wrong
Happy Sad
You’re perfect You can’t do anything right
Acting Capable and Competent Acting helpless
Always asking for help Never asking for help
Life is perfect Life is insufferable
I want friends I fear connection
I want to live I want to die
Flexible Rigid
 HINTS FOR THINKING DIALECTICALLY

 Think “both, and” instead of “either, or.” Notice when you are thinking “either or”
and replace with “both and.”
 Avoid words like “always” and “never” think in shades of gray, not black and white
 Practice looking at other points of view. There is always more than one way to see a
situation, and more than one opinion, idea or dream.
 Remember that no one has the absolute truth
 Use “I feel” statements. This helps you take ownership of your own thoughts and
beliefs.
 Accept that different opinions can both be legitimate
 Consider that we all have qualities we like and dislike
 Check out your assumptions. Don’t assume others’ experience, put words in another
person’s mouth or expect others to read your mind.
 Appreciate how different we are from one another and what a gift that is!