Building

Relationships
Activity Book

Adult Commitment to Teens

A project of the Adoptive Families Association of BC
 Contents
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3 Definition of Me
4 Then & Now
!!Cvjme 6 My Culture
Sfmbuj joh 7 My Faces
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8 Pieces of My Life
Hvjef z!Cp pl 9 Finding Balance
10 Youth Participation
12 My Dreams
13 Needs VS. Wants
15 Triggers
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u!up!Uffoo!pg!CD t 17 Breaking the Habit
18 The Caring Tree
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19 Body Image
21 Mental Health, Depression & Suicide
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23 Self-Harm
25 Emotional Wellness Plan
26 Sexual Identity
29 Career Planning
31 Housing Search
33 Additional Resources
Building Relationships Rights, Advocacy, Scholarships,
Forms, Addiction Resources, Websites
Activity Book
The Building Relationships Activity Book was
created to help young people build a healthy Project Team
relationship with their caregivers or adoptive
parents. It covers topics that were identified Karen Madeiros
by youth in and from care and adults working in Gaye Smith
the field and is based around the creation of Sarah Watson
soft-skills: the emotional life skills that many Janice Goodall
young people are still struggling to create for Stuart Rennie
themselves. Cathy Loptson
Teresa Lum
Your caregiver or adoptive parent will help you Nicole Herbert
work through the activities book using their Jocelyn Helland
Facilitator’s Guide which includes information
about the purpose of the activities and
instructions and ideas for working through Thank-you to the following for
them. You don’t have to work through all of the their funding and support:
activities in the order of the booklet – you can
decided which ones you want to work on and even Coast Capital Savings
go back and build on or change activities you Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
already completed. This is YOUR opportunity to United Way of the Lower Mainland
learn and share more about your strengths, needs Ministry of Children and Family Development
and dreams and develop a better relationship with Victoria Foundation
the supportive adults in your life! Adoptive Families Association of BC
Federation of BC Youth in Care Networks
The Building Relationships Facilitator’s Guide and
Activity Book were developed by Sarah Watson, a On behalf of the project team, we give special
former young person from care, advocate, youth thanks to the young people who participated in
participation coordinator and very cool person! this project.


 Personal Information
Objective
This activity is about who you are, what things you like, and how you define yourself.

Name:

Birthday:

Address: Pic
Of
Me

Phone:

Email: Age/Year

Care Card Number:

Social Insurance Number (SIN):

My Doctor’s Name:

My Doctor’s Phone:

My School’s Name:

My Grade(s): Pic
Of
My School’s Name: Me

My Grade(s):

Other:
Age/Year

 Definition of Me
I love to in my spare time.

I’m really good at

What love means to me is:

I’m a person.

My favourite food is

is my favourite color.

I think of myself as:

…so I define my self as

(or maybe I don’t define myself at all)

is my favourite type of pet.

The movie I love most is

I define my family as

Other important or interesting things about me:


 Then…
I lived at… I went to People I
school at… knew then:

in

Who I My friends
was then: were…

Things I liked: Food I ate: Things I

used to do:

Stuff I had:


 Now…
I live with… I go to People I
school at… know now:

in

Who I My friends
am now: are…

Things I Food I eat: Things I

like now: do now:

Stuff I have:


 My Culture
Culture is shared with a group of people. It is something we learn throughout our
lives and is a symbolic system of values and beliefs. Culture shapes us, the way we
see the world, and the way we behave in the world. Culture shapes whole societies.

Objective
To understand what the word culture means, how you define your culture and how your culture leaves an
impression on who you are.

How do I describe my culture?

How does the culture of my life compare to my society’s culture?

What is important to me when it comes to my culture?

What holidays and/or traditions do we celebrate as part of our cultures?

How are my culture and my caregiver or parents’ culture similar and

how are they different?

Thinking inside the box… what does normal mean to me?

What is normal in my culture?


 My Faces
Objective
To have a fun time expressing yourself through facial expressions and for the facilitator to learn
how you look when you’re expressing yourself.

Sad Angry Surprised

Age/Year Age/Year Age/Year

Calm Proud Lonely

Age/Year Age/Year Age/Year

Happy Afraid Embarrassed

Age/Year Age/Year Age/Year 

 Pieces of My Life
Objective
To think more about how you view yourself and have a visual picture of what makes up your personality.


 Finding Balance
Objective
For you to see visually the areas of life that can pull us in different directions and to examine
ways you can achieve balance.

Effort Guidance

Teaching Trust

Talking Work

Other Your
People’s Rights
Rights

Play Listening

Question Learning

Freedom Rest


 Youth Participation
Meaningful youth participation is most effective when young people are sitting at
the same table as adults and sharing responsibility for decision-making and doing
the work. Participation is only truly meaningful when everyone understands their
role, feels valued, has a voice that is respected, and contributes to the outcomes
of the process.

Objective
To empower you to make more positive decisions in your life by finding out how you currently participate in
your life, if there are any areas that you would like to play a more active role and what your adult support
person can do to help you.

Keys to Youth Participation:

• supportive adults mentor young people
• everyone has opportunities to learn and
develop their knowledge, skills and abilities
• every commits their time and energy
• decision making is shared between
adults and young people
• everyone feels safe and respected
• the focus is on strengths and assets (not deficits)
• the structure/process is flexible and based on
the capacity of all participants
• adequate resources are available
(eg. transportation, food, daycare, etc.)
• the group is able to hold each other
accountable is a healthy way

Things to Avoid:
• tokenism
• manipulation
• decoration
• forcing young people to be involved
• disrespect
• rigid structure
• focus on the negatives
• unhealthy adult supports
• shortage of resources

10
 Roger Hart’s
Ladder of Youth Participation

step 8: Youth and Adult shared

decision-making

step 7: Youth led and initiated action

step 6: Adult initiated actions with

shared decision making with
youth.

step 5: Youth consulted and informed

step 4: Youth assigned and informed

step 3: Youth tokenized

step 2: Youth decorated

step 1: Youth manipulated

Adapted from Hart, R (1992) Children’s Participation from Tokenism to Citizenship.

Florence: UNICEF Innocent Research Centre.
11
 My Dreams
Objective
This is a non-threatening way to explore your aspirations and dreams and to raise your self-esteem.

I dream of becoming a
and living in
With a
and lots and lots of

Basically, my dream is:

I’m gonna make this dream come true by:

Which means I need to:

What could I do in the next few days to become one step

closer to my dream?

What could I do in the next week to become one more step

closer to my dream?

What can someone do to help me reach my goal?

What could they do in the next few weeks?

12
 Needs VS Wants
Objective
This activity allows you to safely identify and explore your needs and, if you have needs that are not
being met, strategize ways to fulfill them.

13
 Maslow’s
Hierarchy of Needs

Self
Mastery
Pursue inner
talent
Creativity
Fulfillment

Self Esteem Needs

Recognition

Love and Belonging Needs

Belonging, Love and acceptance
Generosity

Safety Needs
Security, shelter, family

Physiological Needs
Air, food, and water

Derived from Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs first published

in 1943 in the book Motivation and Personality
14
 Defining Triggers
Objective
To help you change things about yourself (behaviors) and develop a greater understanding of your
actions and reactions to some situations, how those reactions affect others, and offers you the
possibility of gaining control over you actions, not having your actions control you.

A trigger is something that initiates a reaction. Like flicking on a light switch makes
the light turn on, a trigger is a process that has a reaction. But, sometimes when
we turn on the light switch, the light doesn’t turn on. Normally, we then change
the bulb or check the fuse box. But perhaps the electrician has made a mistake and
instead of turning on the light, the light switch turns on the house alarm.

The human brain is wired with electrical impulses and, just like a house, we can’t blame
the person when some one has messed up the wiring. Abuse and neglect rewire a young
person. Suddenly activities that an average young person takes enjoyment from can
raise an alarm in a young person. This young person then can grow up and become an
adult and at times can feel angry, depressed or scared and doesn’t know why.

These feelings can be caused by numerous factors. Sometimes they’re caused by a

trigger. For example, touching a person on the shoulder normally shows support;
but, a person who has been hurt in a certain way may not feel support. For
example, let’s say a person was grabbed from behind and mugged at knife point:
the next time someone touches their shoulder they may not feel supported – in
fact, they may feel scared or angry. After time, this feeling may go away; but,
every once in awhile, a touch on the shoulder may remind them of the event.

It’s no different then other more harsh responses where – even years after the
abuse – a young person may not know why they’re angry. They may just react when
they’re angry or sad but not know why they have lash out. They may not even know
what they are reacting too: all they know is that they do have a reaction.

Try to think about your reactions to certain things and see if something is triggering it.

If something is triggering you, YOU CAN try and change it. You can try and change
your reaction to what is triggering you. This isn’t a one-day process – it can take a
while. Basically if you are grabbed on the shoulder and this triggers you and you have
a severe reaction to the person who grabbed you, you can identify that as a potential
trigger. You can try to tone down your reaction. Next time, try and yell at the person
instead of hitting them. Once you have accomplished that, try speaking very firmly to
them instead of yelling. One day, you will be more in control of your triggers.

15
 Challenging Triggers

Trigger

Try and
Change It Reaction

Think
About It

16
 Breaking the Habit
Objective
To give you the opportunity to see if you have any habits that you feel are working against you,
and then to see if you would like to change that.

Youth in care or young people involved with the ministry have to deal with a lot
of pressure and stress (at risk young people). In a positive growth environment
young people get a gradual increase of stress and pressure. This gradual increase
in stress is like each school year getting harder. When you live in a positive growth
environment, you get to grow up slowly in a natural progression.

However many (not all) at risk young people have to grow up quicker. And they deal
with more stress and pressure then is positive. These young people haven’t had the
time to develop the tools to deal with the amount of pressure and stress that they
are under.

This leaves many young people using the coping skills they have seen family or
peers use. This may mean drugs or alcohol or it can even mean self-injurious
behaviour.

Drugs, whether prescribed by your doctor or ‘yourself’, can alter your mood. Whenever
you’re feeling bad, it’s natural to want to feel good or maybe just feel anything at all.

Warning signs:
Do you worry about your “habit?”

Do you tell lies to cover up your habit?

Do you really look forward to your habit?

Do you feel like you can’t go through the day without doing your habit?

Do you do your habit more then you intend to?

17
 The Caring Tree
Objective
To understand and know just how many people care about you.

18
 What’s Ideal
Objective
To gain an understanding of how you feel about your body image and to critically think about
what is real, as opposed to what is ideal, and why they are different.

19
 What’s Real

20
 Mental Health, Depression & Suicide
Objective
To understand how you feel and get the help you need, when you need it.

It’s important to take care of yourself and your own mental

health. Managing stress, as well as talking to yourself, in
positive ways are behaviours you can do to help yourself.

It’s healthy to feel sad, just as it’s healthy to feel happy;

but, sometimes you can feel so sad it’s disruptive to your life.
It can be hard to get up out of bed or do the things you used
to take great joy in doing. If these feelings are interfering
with daily living, it’s important to see a professional to see if
you’re depressed.

Depression affects everyone differently. If you have five or more

of the symptoms listed below for two weeks or longer it’s time to
see a professional who can help you take care of yourself:

• Not feeling like yourself • Feelings of guilt, worth-

lessness, helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure
in hobbies and activities • Change in concentration
that were once enjoyed
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Change in sleep
• Decreased energy, fatigue,
• Withdrawal from friends or being “slowed down”
family
• Change in appetite
• Persistently sad, anxious,
or “empty” feelings • Thoughts of death or suicide

21
Positive Things You Can Do To Take Care Of Yourself:

• Take a long hot bath • Focus on the present You don’t

• Play video games
• Spend time with friends when you
feel like being alone (you’ll be
glad you did)
• Spend an entire day doing just
what you want
• Allow yourself to verbalize your
feelings in a way that will not be
destructive to yourself or others
• Take a nap
• Read a special book
• If you have a pet play with
them – animals give
unconditional love
always need to cope with the burden
of the past and deal with the fear of
the future – today can just be today
• Allow yourself to cry when you
need to
• Play sports or other games
• Go for a walk
• Watch TV
• Reduce your expectations of
yourself
• Listen to music selected just for you
• Accept that you can’t control
everything
• Start a diary
• Go shopping

It’s healthy when something bad happens to feel pain; but,

sometimes the pain can be so much that a person doesn’t have
the resources to cope. As bad as things can be, there is always
the possibility of things getting better. There are people who
love you and care for you. If you are thinking of suicide, talk
to someone about how you’re feeling. You are not alone. Many
people have felt the way you’re feeling now, and have gotten
the help they need and now live happy healthy lives. Suicide is
about ending the pain, but there are other ways to end the
pain – like talking to someone. Right now there are people who
want to talk to you: 1-866-872-0113.

22
 Self-Harm
Objective
For you to understand what self harm is and be able to seek help.

Self-Harm or Self-Injurious Behaviour is a coping strategy.

Young people are using the tools they have as they try to deal
with larger issues than they can handle. It’s a way some young
people deal with overwhelming thoughts and feelings. Some
examples of self-harm brhaviours are:cutting, head banging,
hitting, scratching, or pulling hair. Self-harm is not tattooing
or body piercing (Tattooing and body piercing is done for body
beatification).

Alternatives to Self-harm:
• Go to sleep • Have a bath or shower
• Listen to music • Go for a bike ride
• Hang out with friends • Go for a run
• Watch TV or a movie • Write a story
• Play video games • Start a journal
• Hold an ice cube • Write a poem
• Rip up a phone book • Hang out with a pet
• Break some eggs • Do some exercise
• Reorganize your room • Go to a movie
• Play a board game

What Alternatives Can I Think of:

23
Who You Can Call For Help:

Kids Help Phone

1-800-668-6868
Kids Help Phone is a toll-free, 24 hour national telephone
counseling service for children and youth. They provide
counseling services directly to children and youth between
the ages of 4 and 19 years and helps adults aged twenty and
over to find the counseling services they need.

Things to Consider Before Acting on the Urge to Self-harm:

What am I feeling right now?

Is there anyone I can talk to?

If there’s no one I can talk to,

have I tried calling the Kids Help Phone?

Have I tried any alternatives?

Have I ever felt like this and not self-harmed?

If so what did I do then?

Does anyone else know I’m feeling this way?

Could I tell them?

24
 Emotional Wellness Plan
Sometimes it can be hard to function with so many different emotions swimming
through your brain. It can feel like a crazy riptide pulling you apart. When things
become too much, it’s good to have a plan in place to take care of yourself. An
Emotional Wellness Plan is just that.

Objective
To create a plan that will help you prepare for emotions that you feel you have no control over.

How are you feeling? What are things you

can do when you feel
this way to help you
feel better?

What are you thinking

about when you feel
this way? What can you do right
now to take care of
yourself?

25
 Sexual Identity
Objective
This activity is about opening a dialogue between you and your adult support person concerning
sexuality and sexual orientation.

Sexuality refers to the expression of sexual intimacy between human beings.

This can include the expression of sexual sensation and related emotional
intimacy between human beings, as well as the expression of identity
through sex and as influenced by, or based on, sex.

There are a great many forms of human sexuality. The sexuality of human
beings comprises a broad range of behaviour and processes, including the
physiological, psychological, social, cultural, political, and spiritual or religious
aspects of sex and human sexual behavior. Philosophy, particularly ethics and
the study of morality, as well as theology, also address the subject.

In almost any historical era or culture, the arts, including literary and
visual arts, as well as popular culture, present a substantial portion of a
given society’s views on sexuality. In most societies and legal jurisdictions,
there are legal bounds on what sexual behaviour is permitted. Sexuality
varies across the cultures and regions of the world, and has continually
changed throughout history.

The Gender Spectrum

Heterosexual

0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual

Homosexual

1- Predominantly heterosexual,
only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than
incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than
incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominantly homosexual, only
incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale

The gender Spectrum is one way of viewing sexuality. In 1950, Kinsley

developed a scale to describe the variations of sexuality and sexual identity.
Kinsley theorized that people aren’t just heterosexual or homosexual – they
are different degrees of both. This allows some women or men to see other
people of the same sex as “really good looking” and still be attracted to the
opposite sex. Likewise it explains bisexuality and experimentation.
26
 Spectrum of Sexuality
same sex same sex same sex both sexes other sex other sex other sex
past only mostly mainly more equally mainly more mostly only

same sex same sex same sex both sexes other sex other sex other sex
present only mostly mainly more equally mainly more mostly only

same sex same sex same sex both sexes other sex other sex other sex
future only mostly mainly more equally mainly more mostly only

homosexual heterosexual

bisexual

Darien has always defined himself as gay and doesn’t understand

how to answer when people ask why he is a homosexual? He
feels that he was born this way and has always felt different
from others.

Serena doesn’t consider herself gay she just got bored at

a party and made out with one of her girlfriends named
Rebecca, just to see what it was like. Since the party,
Rebecca and Serena have been fooling around. But Serena
really wants to go out with Paul.

George has only ever seen woman as attractive and doesn’t

understand way anyone else would be different.

27
Fred grew up in a conservative family and went to an all boys’
elementary school, and then an all boys’ high school. During
high school, he and a few of his guy friend used to fool
around. After high school Fred enlisted in the army where he
met Tom. Tom and him where great friends and had a physical
relationship. After being in the army for many years Fred met
Jane and they got married.

Melissa has always had a boyfriend and close girlfriends.

Sometimes her and her girlfriends fool around; however, she
defines herself as heterosexual.

Carl has always had boyfriends and girlfriends equally and

defines himself as bisexual. Though, when he was younger,
he tried hard to be heterosexual.

Ray has always known she wasn’t heterosexual however she

has wondered if she’s bisexual because although she loves
girls, she also likes boys.

Amy always liked hanging out with the guys and enjoyed
playing sports and video games. She often wished she was
a boy and felt like a guy stuck in a girl’s body. Once, one
of her guy friends needed a date to the dance and hadn’t
asked anyone so at the last minute, he asked Amy. Amy said
sure and after that night, she and Ryan started dating.
Amy, however, didn’t think of Ryan in a sexual way. Ryan
pressured her and they broke up a week later. Amy saw a
show on homosexuals and realized there were other people
like her. She then started dating girls and, once involved in
the gay community, realized she’s transgendered and started
living as a guy. Now he defines himself as heterosexual and
has changed his name to Albert.

28
 Career Planning
Objective
To get to know yuorself and what type of career you would like.

What would be my dream job?

What would I really like about this dream job?

If you don’t know what your dream job would be don’t worry about it – most
people don’t know exactly what they want but they find something that suits
them. This can be done by getting to know yourself and what type of things
interest you.

How do I learn best?

What do I enjoy doing in my spare time?

Would I rather work indoors or outdoors?

Would I rather work doing something physical or mental?

How would people treat each other at work?

Would I rather work for myself or someone else?

Would I rather work on my own or with others?

29
What am I really good at?

What really interests me?

What is a career that best describes all these things?

If I needed training to do this career what would it be?

How much training would I need?

Where could I get this training?

What kind of help would I need?

Who could help me?

30
 Housing Search
Remember you don’t have to do it alone. You can find a supportive adult (like a
youth worker) to help you.

Objective
For your young person to think about what they are looking for when finding a place, understand
what they need to bring when meeting a landlord, and feel prepared to do a housing search.

Questions to Ask:

How much can I afford to pay for rent?

Do I want to live with a roommate?
Can I trust any of my friends to be my roommate?

How much is the rent? (Plus, damage deposit is half the rent)
When would the landlord like the rent and damage deposit paid?
Is there a lease? (A lease is a contract with the landlord explaining the rules of living there.

It has the amount of rent and your minimum length of stay. Ask about the terms of breaking the lease.)

When can I move in?

Where to look for a place:

Newspaper, Signs in front of apartment buildings, or friends

When meeting a potential landlord:

Think of this as a job interview, wear nice clothes, know what you’re looking for,
and try to make a good impression.

Things to remember when checking the apartment out:

What you want has to be balanced with what you can afford.

References
It’s good to have three references: one from a former landlord or foster parent,
one from a workplace, and one from a friend.

31
 Housing Search
Damage deposit
Damage deposits are always half a month’s rent (or less) and payable when you first
move in.

When meeting a landlord for the first time, bring the following with you:

• Current address
• Phone number
• Housing reference
• Work reference
• Intent to rent
• If not currently working, a personal reference

Bringing all of this with you makes you organized, and responsible:
two characteristics landlords look for!

If you’re not working the landlord is going to want to know

how you are going to pay the rent:

If you are a student on student loans you can say you have student loans.

If you are on income assistance, you can say the government can pay the
landlord directly and you’re currently in program.

If you are on Independent living, you can tell the landlord the government
can pay them directly and you’re working part-time or going to school or
in program (whatever your plan is). Don’t be surprised if the
landlord doesn’t know what Independent living is. Know ahead of time what
you’re going to say if they ask…

If you are on disability you can say you’re on a pension

Resources

Affordable Housing in Vancouver BC Housing

vancouver.ca/commsvcs/housing/ bchousing.org

Housing for Students BC Co-op Housing

homes4students.com chf.bc.ca

32
 Additional Useful
Resources for Young
People

33
 Advocacy
What is advocacy?

People acting or speaking for themselves or someone else to

make sure that an issue or cause is addressed.

Different forms of Advocacy

Self-advocacy
Someone speaking on their own behalf or an issue that directly
affects them.

Peer-advocacy
Someone speaking on a peer’s behalf, or speaking on an issue
that directly affects their peer.

Professional advocacy
A qualified person whose job it is to ensure a person’s voice
is heard and considered in a decision that affects them. This
could be advocating on that person’s behalf.

Systemic Advocacy
When an organization or person advocates for a cause that
affects a great deal of people.

Devil’s Advocate
Opponent for the sake of it: somebody who criticizes or opposes
something purely in order to provoke a discussion or argument

Appeal

Request reconsideration of a decision that has already

34
been made.
 Rights of
Children & Youth In Care

(Bill 46, Part 4, Section 70)

Young people in care in British Columbia

have the following rights:
a) To be fed, clothed and nurtured according to community
standards and to be given the same quality of care as other
children in the placement;
b) To be informed about their plans of care;
c) To be consulted and to express their views, according to their
abilities, about significant decision affecting them;
d) To reasonable privacy and to possession of their personal
belongings;
e) To be free from corporal punishment;
f) To be informed of the standard of behaviour expected by their
care-givers and of the consequences of not meeting their
caregivers’ expectations;
g) To receive medical and dental care when required;
h) To participate in social and recreational activities if available
and appropriate and according to their abilities and interests;
i) To receive the religious instruction and to participate in the
religious activities of their choice;
j) To receive guidance and encouragement to maintain their
cultural heritage;
k) To be provided with an interpreter if language of disability is
a barrier to consulting with them on decisions affecting their
custody or care;
l) To privacy during discussions with members of their families,
subject to subsection;
m) To privacy during discussions with a lawyer, the Child, Youth
and Family Advocate, the Ombudsman, a member of Parliament;
n) To be informed about and to be assisted in contacting the
Child, Youth and Family Advocate;
o) To be informed of their rights under this Act and the
procedures available.

Note: Unfortunately, these rights do not apply to a

youth in a place of confinement in British Columbia

35
 UN Convention on
The Rights of a Child
Definition of a Child
Article 1: A child is a person under the age of 18.
Principles
Article 2: All rights in the CRC apply to all children, without
discrimination.
Article 3: A child’s right to have their best interest be most
important in an action concerning them.
Article 6: A child’s right to live and fully develop.
Article 12: A child’s right to express an opinion on anything that
affects them and for those views to be taken into account.
Accountability
Article 4: Governments must do all they can to realize
children’s rights.
Article 41: If other laws give children more rights then those apply.
Article 42: Governments must make the rights in the CRC
widely known to all adults and children.
Article 43: A committee on the rights of a child will measure
how well governments do in realizing the CRC.
Civil Rights and Freedoms
Article 7: A child’s right to a name, nationality and as far
as possible know and be cared for by their parents.
Article 8: Governments must protect and if necessary re-
establish children’s name and identity.
Article 13: A child’s right to receive or send information
through all forms of media.
Article 14: A child’s right to hold beliefs and choose a
religion with appropriate guidance from their parents.
Article 15: A child’s right to meet with others and join or
form a group.
Article 16: A child’s right to privacy and to protection from
unfair attacks on their reputation.
Article 17: A child’s right to information through the media
that is good for their development.
Education, Culture and Leisure
Article 28: A child’s right to education, particularly primary
education and to school discipline that respects their rights.
Article 29: A child’s right to education that helps them
develop fully and be a responsible person.
Article 30: A child from a minority or aboriginal community’s
right to practice their own religion, language and culture.
Article 31: A child’s right to relax, play and participate in
physical, cultural and artistic activities.
Health and Welfare
Article 24: A child’s right to care and an environment that
keeps them healthy and good quality healthcare.
Article 26: A child’s right to social security, including social
insurance, if their family needs it.
Article 27: A child’s right to a standard of living that allows
them to develop fully. This is the responsibility of caregivers
and if necessary the government must help care givers to
fulfill this responsibility.
This is a simplified version of the UN Convention on the Rights of a Child
36
Family and Alternative Care
Article 5: Government must respect the rights and
responsibilities of caregivers and family to appropriately
guide children keeping in mind the child’s capacity.
Article 9: A child’s right to live with, or if this is not
possible maintain contact with, her or his parents, unless
this is not in the child’s best interests.
Article 10: The right of children and their parents to enter
or leave any country in order to be together.
Article 18: The responsibility of both parents to care for their child
with necessary help from the government, including childcare.
Article 20: Government must protect and care for children if
their family is unable to.
Article 21: A child’s right to be adopted if this is in their
best interest.
Article 25: A child’s right to regular review of their
placement if they are in care.
Protection and Special Care
Article 11: Government must protect children from kidnapping.
Article 19: Government must protect children from all forms
of abuse and neglect.
Article 22: A refugee child’s right to special protection and
care and help to find and join their family if they’ve been
separated.
Article 23: A child with a disability’s right to get the care
and education they need to develop fully.
Article 32: Governments must protect children from work
that exploits them or is bad for their development and stop
younger children from working at all.
Article 33: Government must find ways to protect children
from illegally using, making or selling drugs.
Article 34: Governments must protect children from sexual
abuse and exploitation.
Article 35: Government must protect children from being
bought, sold or traded.
Article 36: A child’s right to be protected from other types
of exploitation that are harmful to their development.
Article 37: A child’s right not to be cruelly treated or
cruelly punished even if they break the law. This includes
capital punishment and life in prison. Children in prison
must: be kept away from adult prisoners; have contact
with their family; get legal advice; and receive a fair trial.
Prison should be used as a last resort. A child must not be
imprisoned unlawfully.
Article 38: Governments must not let children under 15 join the
army and must protect and care for children affected by wars.
Article 39: A child’s right to treatment to help them recover
from any form of exploitation, abuse or neglect.
Article 40: A child who is accused of breaking the law’s right
to a fair legal process, legal help and treatment that considers
their rights and helps them reintegrate back into society.
 How to Apply for
Scholarships, Grants & Bursaries
Some Good Terms to Know:

• Scholarship is an award of access • Post secondary student is

to an institution or money for
an individual for the purposes of
furthering their education.
• Grant is money given to a certain
individual on the basis that they
should not have to repay.
• Bursary refers to the treasury
of a public institution or
religious order. Basically it’s
a scholarship or grant given
by an institute.
• First year or freshman is a
student in their first year of
a bachelor’s degree.
a student of any form of
education that is taken
after first attending a
secondary school.
• Undergraduate Student is a
post-secondary student
pursuing a Bachelor’s degree.
• Graduate students are students
who have a bachelor’s degree
and are pursuing a master’s
degree.

Things to Consider:
Start your application early and submit it early?
Before You Apply • If you apply late you may be ineligible till the following year.

Are you eligible for the educational opportunity?

• If you are ineligible, applying can be a waste of your time because
ineligible applications are usually not considered for scholarships.

When filling out an application

When Applying • If available, use a computer. If not, use a blue or black pen.
• Have someone edit your application for spelling and grammar.

After you have done everything else

After You Apply • You may wish to send your application by courier because
this way you know when your application has arrived.
• You may want to call their office to ensure your applica-
tion has arrived and is complete.
• If you move, call them and tell them.
37
When Doing Essays:
• Type your essay.
• Whenever possible have someone edit your work.
• It’s best to only have one person edit your work because if
you have two or more editors you can get conflicting advice.
• Answer the questions completely.
• Think carefully about what you are going to write.
• Take your time.
• Brainstorm first.
• Write an outline of what you want to write.
• If need be, write your essay with someone.
• Use clear and simple sentences to express your meaning.
• Use a thesaurus and dictionary.
• Relax – you will do just fine.

Suggestions for Attachments:

• Have all or as many of the attachments typed as possible.
• Use 8 1/2 x 11” unlined white paper.
• Write on only one side of each page.
• Use a paperclip to keep all the pages together.
• Provide as much detail as possible on the application.
• Have all your reference letters typed and up to date.
• Have extra photocopies in case you need the same attach-
ments for other applications.

Overall Suggestions:
• Make sure everything is complete.
• Send everything together.
• Ask for help if you need it.
• Make a photocopy of your application to keep in case your
application gets lost in the mail.
• Relax and hope for the best.
• Don’t rely on one source of funding that isn’t guaranteed.
• Start your next application process.
• GOOD LUCK!
38
 Tips for Forms
Surname Middle Name First Name
‘Surname’ and ‘Family Name’ are both ways of referring to your last name

Address
‘Home address’ or ‘Permanent address’ refers to where you are living. ‘Mailing address’ refers to
where you can receive mail. If you don’t have a permanent address you can use a mailing address to
receive mail. This can be similar to if you are moving through a lot of foster homes or between homes
having your mail sent to a community centre that you frequent. If you are using a mailing address at
a place you do not live, ask permission and let everybody know you’re expecting some mail.

SIN
The reason why they will ask you for your SIN is so that if you
receive the money, they can issue you a tax form.
Your SIN is Your Social Insurance Number and looks like this:

Marital Status
Marital Status is asked to basically find out if you have a life partner who can help support you
while you go to school. There are normally several boxes in this category including:
• Single • Common Law • Separated
• Married • Divorced • Widowed
You need to be very careful about choosing the right martial status - if you are living with
someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are common law. Also, this isn’t about how much you
love your partner - it’s about your finances and whether you and your partner share finances or
not. Basically, being common law is looked at as the same as being married. The only difference
is a piece of paper. Thus, if you choose ‘common law’, your partner’s finances will be taken into
consideration – they will try and see if your partner can support you in your schooling before they
will consider giving you any financial assistance.

Dependents
Basically dependents are people you are financially supporting because they are too young
(children) or are unable to take care of themselves (a person with a disability). Documentation
may be required. Dependents are not people you are taking care of that can otherwise take care
of themselves.

Full-Time or Part-Time Study

This refers to school caseload or how many courses you are taking and whether that number of
courses is considered part-time or full time schooling. In most programs 60%, or three courses,
is considered full time. However, you may need to check with your school to find out what they
consider full time study.

Assets
Some grants or scholarships may ask you to list your personal assets and or assets that you and
your married or common law partner have. Assets are things like a trust fund, RRSPs, Investments,
Bonds, vehicles, and a house or condo or trailer that you OWN. If you have assets, you may be
asked why these assets cannot be sold for the money to go to school. Most of the time there are
exceptions for your primary vehicle (car that you use to get everywhere) if your car isn’t worth
more then a few thousand dollars. Some won’t even count your primary home(the house you live
in that you own). Assets are things you can sell to get money. Assets can also make you money.
Assets are not furniture, appliances, electronics, clothing, toys or most collectables. If you
don’t have any assets, that’s ok. When asking for financial aid, it’s better to not have assets
then have assets. Basically, assets are money and if you have money, you don’t need financial aid.

39
 Forms
If you have ever lost your wallet then you don’t need anyone to
tell you how hard it is to get your ID again. It’s like climbing a
ladder getting your id back – you need to apply for each ID in a
certain order. First you’ll need your Birth Certificate…

ID you need to have to in

ID Name Replacement cost
order to get the next piece

Birth Certificate $27

Social Insurance Number $10
Care Card $20

Varies on which type of license Birth certificate and sin card

Driver’s License
your getting or care card

Birth certificate and sin card

BC ID $35
or care card

Need photo ID, birth Certificate and

Passport $85 to go through the passport process.

Birth Certificate
Fill out form and mail it in with attached money order or cheque.

SIN
When applying for your social insurance number or SIN, fill out
your application and go to your nearest human resource centre
(you can look up locations at www.hrsdc.gc.ca).

Care Card
Fill out form and mail it in with attached money order or cheque.

Drivers License or BC ID
Apply at your nearest driver licensing office with a birth certificate and
a sin card plus picture ID if you have it. To find out where your local
office is try online at www.icbc.com/Licensing

Passports
Follow form instructions in the passport application available at
www.ppt.gc.ca
40
 Resources for Addiction
Detox
“Detoxification” means a withdrawal from the intoxicating effects of alcohol
and/or drugs. The length of time this takes varies from person to person.

Referral
Alcohol and Drug Info and Referral Service 1-800-663-1441 is a free information
and referral line about alcohol and drug problems in your area.

Support Groups
Alcoholics Anonymous (also known as AA)
Tel: 604-434-3933 (24 hours) Phone for help and / or meeting times and places. A
fellowship of men and women helping each other recover from alcoholism.

Narcotics Anonymous (also known as NA)

Tel: 604-873-1018 (24 hours) Phone for help and / or meeting times and places.
Leave a message. An organization of recovering addicts to help each other stay
free from ALL kinds of drugs.

Sex Addicts Anonymous (also known as SAA)

Tel: 604-290-9544 or 604-290-9543
Web access www.saa-recovery.org or www.saavancouver.org
This is a support group for adults who share their experience, strength, and
hope so they may overcome their sex addiction and help others to recover (based
on the 12-step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous, although not affiliated with
AA). The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop compulsive sexual
behaviour. Meetings held throughout the Lower Mainland.

Treatment
A variety of approaches to treatment exists. Some treatment can include behavioural
therapy where people learn strategies for coping with their cravings, how to avoid
their addiction and prevent relapse. There’s also cognitive therapy, which focuses
on changing the way a person thinks about their addiction. Treatment is also
accompanied with counseling. The best treatment programs provide a combination of
therapies and other services to meet the needs of the individual person.
41
 Websites
justiceforgirls.org
Justice for Girls is a non-profit organization that
promotes social justice, freedom from violence,
and equality for teenage girls who live in poverty.
youthlink.org
Youthlink Global Youth Action Network is a not-
for-profit organization that acts as an incubator
of global partnerships among youth organizations.
watari.org
Watari Research Association has an online “Survival living in safe, caring and inclusive communities.
Manual” of services in the Lower Mainland.
youthincare.ca
The National Youth In Care Network exists to
voice the opinions and concerns of youth in
and from care and promote the improvement of
services for them. We help our members find their
voices and regain control over their lives through
support, skill building, and healing opportunities.
fbcyicn.ca
The Federation of BC Youth in Care Networks is
dedicated to the promotion and development
of local groups run by and for youth in and from
government care. The primary functions of these
local groups are; giving support, friendship,
self-help, information, and representation of
youth in and from government care.
mcs.bc.ca
The McCreary Centre Society (MCS) is committed
to improving the health of BC youth through
community-based research, education and
community-based participation projects.
42
fsgv.ca
Family Services of Greater Vancouver is a
not-for-profit organization dedicated to
strengthening people, families and communities.
We provide a diverse range of professional
support and counselling services to those who
are experiencing challenges in their lives.
mcf.gov.bc.ca
The Ministry of Children and Family Development
provides programs and services to ensure that
healthy children and responsible families are
translink.bc.ca
TransLink is the Greater Vancouver Transportation
Authority, they manage public transit services.
Their website contains detailed information on
buses and skytrain. The website provides trip
planning tools and maps for people living in the
lower mainland to plan how they are going to get
from A to B on public transit.
bchealthguide.org
The BC Health Guide has information on more
than 3,000 common health topics, tests,
procedures and other resources.
canadian-health-network.ca
The Canadian Health Network has health
information for every body.
inyourgrasp.bc.ca
In Your Grasp, BC’s Family resource Database
bcadoption.com
Adoptive Families Association of BC online
adoption resource