Psych Educ, Document ID: 2022PEMJ0, doi: 10.5281/zenodo.

7154767, ISSN 2822-4353

Research Article

Complicated Loss: Lived Experience of Family Members Bereaved by COVID-19

Mary Cris S. Motas*, Mariflor J. Gatchalian, Christine M. Hernandez, Ma Lorena M. Tagala,

Alfredo G. Perez Jr., Girlie S. Sonoron
For affiliations and correspondence, see the last page.

Abstract
This study explored the lived experience of family members bereaved by COVID-19. Qualitative
research design with phenomenology as an approach was utilized in the study. This study
generated ten (10) superordinate themes which were Sense of Disbelief and Sorrow; Intense and
Ambivalent Feelings; Reliance on Family Support and Faith in God; Positive Coping Strategies;
Working through Acceptance; Inner Self Change; Realization on the Value of Life, Faith, and
Relationships; Positive and Transformative; Positive Outlook in Life; and Awareness of Reality
through Negative Situations and Learned Lessons. COVID-19 has indeed altered the way people
experience death, grief, and bereavement. Although this reality posed a challenge in the process of
grief, bereaved family members still had positive outlook and strong disposition to accept, find
meaning in the loss, and move forward in their lives amid pandemic. Finally, this study proposed a
community- based bereavement care and psychosocial support program action plan for family
members bereaved by COVID-19 to assist them in their grief journey.
Keywords: Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Family Members, Coping, COVID-19

Introduction disrupted people's lives dramatically from daily social

People, at some point in their lives, may experience
the death of someone significant—parents, siblings,
children, spouse, or grandparents. It takes courage to
face and deal with this kind of loss in a lifetime. To
say that it is painful is an understatement. People may
ask God why, may doubt their existence, or blame
others. Most people say that the pain they feel will
never fade; they will only learn how to live with it.
Some believe it is the turning point of their lives to
fulfill their purpose, while others think it is something
that purifies one’s character.
interaction but also the experience of death, leaving a
significant number of people grieving for the loss.
Almost every day, COVID-19 related deaths are
witnessed on television, newspaper, social media, and
even among one’s family members, friends,
acquaintances, and colleagues. The increasing death
tolls brought about by the contagiousness of the
disease have prompted governments all over the world
to take stringent measures to restrain the virus.
Lockdowns, quarantines, physical distancing rules, and
hospital restrictions are implemented.

As it is, the death of a loved one is seen as the most
devastating experience people can go through. They
may feel various kinds of powerful emotions
depending on multiple factors like personality,
attachment style, genetic makeup, age, spirituality,
cultural identity, and the circumstances surrounding
the loss or death of a loved one. Yet, what if they lost a
loved one because of a deadly, incurable, and novel
disease? How will they face the death of a family
member if the situation is sudden and unexpected?
What happens when they lose a loved one in an era
they never imagined will happen in their lifetime, the
COVID-19 pandemic? In these complicated
circumstances, will it be helpful or damaging to them?
The novel coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is a
global health crisis unprecedented in modern history,
posing a great threat to human life. Since the outbreak,
millions of people around the world died a sudden
death due to COVID-19. Thus, the disease not only
As a consequence, Madrell (2020) mentioned that
patients were left to die alone and their families were
not able to say their final goodbyes, cared for or pay
them respect. The traditions in burial, mourning, and
funeral rituals and customs were also regulated.
Accordingly, Burell and Selman (2020) stated that
these restrictions in burial and funeral practices may
hinder the ability of the bereaved to seek emotional
support and social connection.
Graham (2020) claimed that family members bereaved
by COVID-19 infections had become the secondary
victims of COVID-19 deaths reporting symptoms of
traumatic stress such as helplessness, terror, despair,
and remorse which exacerbated their grief. Similarly,
Eisma et al. (2020) mentioned that other stressors
associated with the pandemic may intensify and
hamper the grief of bereaved family members.
However, in spite of these predicaments, Morris et al.
(2020) stated that there were few bereavement support
services that were currently available to cater to the

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needs of bereaved families. Therefore, the American
Psychiatric Association (2020) claimed that the
COVID-19 circumstances made it more difficult for
the bereaved family members to adapt to loss. It
tended to complicate the grieving process of the
bereaved.
Despite the importance of the topic, most of the
existing literature focused on opinions, reviews, and
general quantitative research on the consequences of
COVID-19 deaths on grief and bereavement. As a
matter of fact, Fang and Comery (2020) stated that
research on the impact of COVID-19 on loss and grief
was extremely limited. Also, very few studies were
conducted to explore this through lived experiences. In
particular, there was still no bereavement study that
had been conducted focusing on a family-oriented
culture like the Philippines.
Therefore, a significant push toward an in-depth
understanding of lived experience was necessary to fill
the gap since most of these experiences, emotions, and
expressions were undocumented. Furthermore, through
the examination of their experience, significant
insights were gained into the process of how family
members bereaved by COVID-19 infection differed
from those who lost a family member because of
normal deaths, the reactions, feelings, and thoughts
surrounding the process of grief, and how did family
members bereaved by COVID-19 infection made
sense of their experience of losing a loved one from
the time they learned of the death to grieving,
mourning, and moving on with their lives amid
pandemic.
Methodology
The study was a qualitative research utilizing
phenomenology as a method. According to Leavy
(2017), qualitative research was characterized by
inductive approaches to building knowledge targeted
at making meaning. It was used to look into, examine,
and learn about social phenomena as well as to
decipher meanings people attributed to tasks,
circumstances, incidents, or to gain a better
understanding of some aspects of social life. Lester
(1999, as cited in Qutoshi, 2018) stated that
phenomenology was an approach used in qualitative
Motas et al.
research to identify a phenomenon based on how it
was seen by individuals who experienced it. It was the
process of gathering and presenting deep knowledge
and perceptions from the participants’ perspective
using inductive qualitative techniques such as
discussions, interviews, and participant observation.
Moreover, phenomenology was based on personal
knowledge and subjectivity paradigm that emphasized
the relevance of personal interpretation and
perspective. In particular, this study used the
Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) to
explore the lived experience in-depth and study how
the participants made sense of their personal and social
world. According to Smith et al. (2009, as cited in
Alase, 2017), IPA was a participant-oriented approach
that was more centered on the human lived experience.
It asserted that experience may be understood by
looking at the interpretations that people placed on it.
The data gathered in this study came from selected
cities in Batangas with the most number of COVID-19
deaths. Convenience-purposeful sampling technique
was applied to select the participants with known
family members who died because of COVID-19
infection during the first and second wave of the
COVID-19 pandemic from March 2020 to June 2021.
Specifically, the participants were 18 years old and
above, an immediate family member, and lived with
the family member who died of COVID-19 infection.
In gathering pertinent information, a researcher-made
interview questions were utilized in the study. During
the construction of the ten interview questions, a
detailed review of existing literature and theories
related to grief and bereavement was conducted. These
literature and theories guided to frame the formulation
of questions. The ten interview questions were
validated by registered psychologists and experts in
terms of qualitative research paper based on Lawshe’s
method of content validation. Taking into
consideration the current situation due to COVID-19,
the interviews were conducted with the consent of the
participants via Zoom, Google Meet, or Messenger.
With the permission of the participants, the interviews
were recorded and the data acquired were treated with
strict confidentiality with participants’ names
disguised behind codes.
Using IPA as a method to understand the content and
intricacy of meanings suggested by the participants’
responses, the following were the steps that were
undertaken in the treatment and analysis of data: First,
familiarized oneself with the responses of the
participants by repeatedly listening to the audio
recordings of the interview; Second, transcribed the
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interview into verbatim; Third, re-read and re-read the
transcript, made initial notes, examined and
commented on the content in an exploratory sense by
focusing on the content itself, the language use, and
the context; Fourth, searched for connections and
consistencies across emerging themes and formed
clustered themes according to conceptual similarities
or interconnections; Fifth, identified major themes and
sub-themes and discarded less rich themes; Sixth,
identified patterns across all the ten transcripts which
were analysed using steps one to five based on
consistency and significance to establish new major
themes and sub-themes or reconfigured themes;
Seventh, made interpretations to a deeper level by
utilizing theories as a lens through which to view the
analysis; Lastly, presented and discussed the analysis
of data.
Results and Discussion
This presents the analysis and interpretation of data
gathered in the phenomenological inquiry concerning
the lived experience of family members bereaved by
COVID-19. As such, this study was guided by the
following central question: What is the essence of
lived experienced of family members bereaved by
COVID-19 infection?
Meanwhile, the corollary questions have been
answered in the discussion provided below:
Corollary Question Number 1: How do family
members describe their experience of losing a loved
one due to COVID-19 infection under the COVID-19
circumstances? Interview Question Number 1: What
was your reaction when you learned about what
happened to your loved one?
When asked about the reactions on what happened to
their loved ones, Participant 2 mentioned that she was
in a state of shock and wondered why and how it
happened. Meanwhile, Participant 7 stated how sad
she was and how she did not expect the death of her
husband. She even mentioned that her husband was
healthy and strong, thus, was surprised about what
happened.
In the course of the interview, Participant 2 expressed
her sadness and confusion when she shared her
reaction about her experience because she felt that the
death was untimely and she was not given the
opportunity to see her sister before she died. Also,
Participant 7 exhibited extreme sadness and disbelief.
She was trying to hold back her tears as she articulated
Motas et al.
her reaction about the loss because of disbelief since
she knew that her husband was strong before it
happened.
This was supported by Denckla et al. (2020). People
who had lost a loved one as a result of COVID-19
experience a wide range of reactions, including a sense
of disbelief, sadness, frequent thoughts and memories
of the deceased, difficulty being interested or
concentrating on anything, confusion, difficulty
thinking clearly, sense of disconnection from others,
yearning and longing, doing things to feel close to the
deceased, and trying to avoid reminders that they were
gone.
Interview Question Number 2: How would you
describe your feelings and thoughts (if any), in days
and weeks immediately following what happened to
your loved one?
When asked about the feelings and thoughts (if any)
about what happened to their loved ones, Participant 3
stated how sad she was and how she did not want the
day to come by from morning to afternoon because she
felt so engrossed in her sorrow. She could not believe
how sudden it was. On the contrary, Participant 6
mentioned that he felt pain but he was confused why
he can’t cry. He felt sad but was not able to pour out
all his emotions. He also added how angry he was and
felt a tendency to blame others.
During the interview, Participant 8 showed her
vulnerability as sorrow was evident on her face while
telling her feelings and thoughts because of
unacceptance on the loss of her loved one. On the
other hand, Participant 6 emphasized ambivalence in
his feelings by sharing how vague his feelings were
and how he suppressed his sadness and sorrow because
he needed to be strong for the family. Also, his anger
came as a result of his experience with the health care
providers.
This was justified by Mortazavi et al. (2021). They
stated that vagueness and hopelessness were the usual
feelings experienced by the relatives of those who died
during the COVID-19 pandemic which came as a
result of the sudden onset and escalation of the disease
and distrusts about interventions.
Interview Question Number 3: How did you deal with
those feelings and thoughts? Were there certain people
who gave you support? What and how did they
provide support?
When asked about how they deal with feelings and
thoughts in days and week after what happened to their
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loved ones, Participant 1 stated that her family, church
mates, and God were the source of her strength and
comfort. Likewise, Participant 10 mentioned that
prayer and church service gave comfort and rest to the
pain she felt.
During the interview, Participant 1 showed confidence,
assurance, and peaceful expression as she shared how
she anchored on social support and spirituality in
dealing with the feelings and thoughts in days and
weeks after the loss of her loved one considering she
was empowered to handle her situation because of her
family, church mates, and God. Likewise, Participant
10 exhibited a comforting expression on how his
spirituality aided him in dealing with his feelings and
thoughts because he believed that at the end of the day,
only God can provide him true comfort and rest.
Borghi et al. (2021) stated that faith and spirituality
provided an inner anchorage for families looking for
meaning in an unpredictable and uncontrollable
situation like the COVID-19 pandemic. They were
able to transform a tense circumstance into a bigger,
more beneficent system of meaning. Spiritual
resources, such as going to church or talking to a
priest, were sometimes limited, but families relied on
their inner faith to cope with the loss. Addressing hope
for the loved one, for themselves, for other family
members or friends, for the community and
society–could also be the first step in grieving.
Moreover, Brown (2016) mentioned that making time
and space for family connection, communication, and
sharing of emotions eases some of the problems and
aids in the healing of the entire family. After death, it
can be very difficult for a family to resume up where it
left off. However, reaching out in support of one
another provides love and care, and attention to each
other’s needs. Then, eventually, the family can
establish a new narrative while their loved one's
memory endures in everyone's hearts.
Interview Question Number 4: What were the things
that you would do to avoid or engage in your grief?
How did it help or not help you?
When asked about the things they do to avoid and
engage in their grief, Participant 5 shared that to avoid
her grief, she kept herself busy with her prayer group
and she visited her friends and children and went out
with grandchildren. To engage in her grief, she
mentioned that she cried silently while looking at the
family photos. Also, Participant 4 mentioned that since
she continued working, she kept herself busy to avoid
her grief but at night when alone, she cried a lot
reminiscing her loved one as her way to confront her
Motas et al.
grief. She even mentioned that the pain seemed to be
just like yesterday.
Participant 5 seemed to be calm while sharing how she
engaged in spiritual activities while acknowledging the
pain of the loss by rekindling memories of her loved
one. Meanwhile, Participant 4 was emotional as she
shared how she diverted her attention to work and
created routine to live by while living with the pain.
She believed that the pain never faded; she only
learned how to live with it.
Cummings (2020) explained that it was crucial to give
people time to sit with their grief no matter how
difficult it may be. Like how avoiding grief was
different for everyone, confronting grief or giving
oneself time to grieve also varied for every bereaved.
For some, it will mean solitary time at home to weep,
to be lost of words, to shout, to reflect, or just lie on
the floor in a pile of the loved one’s clothes, in tears. It
may entail talking to family or friends or attending a
support group, even seeing a counselor, and a
combination of these. However, finding the balance
between avoiding and confronting was vital for
healthy grieving.
Interview Question Number 5: How would you
describe the way you've been feeling today compared
to the days and weeks immediately following what
happened to your loved one?
When asked about the participants’ current feelings in
relation to what happened to their loved ones,
Participant 8 stated that it was still hard for her. It was
still painful for her the reality that she lost her loved
one. On the other hand, Participant 9 shared that she
was stronger now compared before.
In the course of the interview, Participant 8 was
emotional and seemed to have acknowledged the loss
and continuously feels the pain while Participant 9
seemed that she has adjusted and moved on though
there were efforts of evading the pain of the loss.
Doka (2018) stated that grief was not linear and does
not have an inherent timeframe. Grief emotions can
last for years, with the severity gradually decreasing
after the first few years. People did not get over a loss;
rather, the sorrow reduced over time, and the grief
became less crippling as they performed at levels
equivalent to (and sometimes better than) before the
loss.
Interview Question Number 6: What specific changes
you have noticed about yourself over 6 months or as a
year passed?
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When asked about the changes within self about 6
months to one year after what happened, Participant 4
shared that she assumed the duties and responsibilities
of her father and assisted her mother in the family.
Meanwhile, Participant 6 expressed how lost he was,
felt stuck and stagnant, and wanted to avoid anything
that would give him stress.
Participant 4 looked so worried while sharing the
changes she observed about herself after she lost her
loved one because as an eldest, she had no choice but
to assume the responsibility of her father and help her
mother lead the family. She seemed to be unprepared
with the new responsibility after the loss yet she
needed to take on the role. Similarly, Participant 6
seemed confused when he shared the changes he
noticed about himself. He felt unsure of himself and
lost his direction, thus, resisting new challenges.
Wehrman (2018) mentioned that the death of a loved
one can lead to a shift in identity by depriving a social
relationship necessary for an identity to be fulfilled.
Some people felt that they can no longer continue their
existing roles and related habits after the death of a
loved one. As a result, people were grieving the loss of
a loved one while also lamenting the loss of their
identity. Through this, people were obliged to assume
new roles in order to make sense of their shifting
identities. When a person was unwilling to give up or
accept a role, these multiple identity modifications
might lead to inconsistencies in their self- concept.
Interview Question Number 7: Over the past 6 months
to a year and onwards, were there times you felt a
sense of meaning or a positive outcome or growth as a
result of what happened? How would you describe that
experience?
When asked about the meaning, positive outcome, or
growth as a result of what happened, Participant 2
shared that she became stronger and learned to
prioritize more her family. She learned to appreciate
the presence of other while there’s still a chance.
Likewise, Participant 6 stated that what happened let
him realize the definition of strength, courage, and
how God works in the storms of life. He also
emphasized that to love and express love to others was
what matters most.
During the interview, Participant 2 exhibited a strong
conviction when she shared her realization of the value
of relationship because what happened became a
wake-up call for her to love her family more than
anything else. Also, Participant 6 showed enthusiasm
and passion while sharing his realization on valuing
life and finding benefit and strength from adversities.
Motas et al.
In relation, Neimeyer and Thompson (2014, as cited in
Stuhr, 2021) stated that meaning-making was primary
and significant. The sorrow brought about by the death
of a loved one prompted the bereaved to begin the
process of searching for the meaning of what
happened. Because each person experienced loss
differently, meaning-making was a subjective process
determined by the grieving individual, and to make
meaning, it was important to understand or make sense
of the loss.
More so, Gross (2018) mentioned that despite the
unavoidable sadness that came with loss, there was
evidence of beneficial consequences because people
recognized the positive aspects of their loss. For
example, bereaved people may report feeling more
spiritual and sensitive as a result of their loss, seeing
themselves as stronger and more mature, and
prioritizing family over money and employment. All
of these possibilities demonstrated the significance that
can be discovered in the loss.
Interview Question Number 8: People say that their
beliefs and perspective in the world and life have
changed because of the loss. If this has occurred to
you, how would you describe the changes in your
beliefs?
When asked about the changes in beliefs and
perspective because of the loss, Participant 5 shared
that life was short and they should do the best that they
can while they were here on earth. In the same light,
Participant 10 said that he was now living as if it was
the last day of her life, valuing whatever they have as a
family, and sharing his experience with his family.
In the course of the interview, Participant 5 showed a
calm disposition as she shared the value of life because
she really knew that God holds everyone’s life, thus, to
do one’s best in life and to live life to the fullest gave
it more sense. Also, sincerity to love was evident in the
face of Participant 10 as he shared how he now valued
his family. He already learned the most significant
thing in life–to love significant people God has placed
in his lives while he was still given the chance.
According Hone (2021) mentioned that so much of
life's perspective in the present would never be
changed and would never happen if not for the loss
experienced. The way family was prioritized over
work and the way people valued little things at present
helped people feel that their deceased loved one’s life
counted for something and even the death of their
loved one was still having an impact on the world.
In addition, Roberts et al. (2016) stated that bereaved
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came to view the world in a new perspective through added a burden to them. Likewise, anger was evident
the process of meaning-making which helped them in the tone of voice and facial expression of Participant
ease their pain and discover a new purpose for living. 8 while sharing her disappointments on what happened
to the remains of her loved one because they were not
Interview Question Number 9: In terms of now, how given the chance to decide for the body of their
do you approach life without your loved one? deceased loved one due to health and safety reasons.
Both the circumstances experienced by Participant 4
When asked about how they approached life without and Participant 8 made it more difficult for them to
their loved one, Participant 7 mentioned that she was accept the loss.
facing tomorrow with hope for the sake of her
children. Also, Participant 9 shared that she always This was supported by the qualitative study of Patel et
included her loved one in her prayers and was reliving al. (2022) which found that the relatives of those who
her loved one’s memories every day. died during the COVID-19 pandemic experienced an
emotional crisis due to interruption of the experience
Participant 7 expressed how hopeful she was and of death and mourning like the restrictions in visiting
continued to be hopeful as she shared how she the patient, not being permanently aware of the
approached life after the loss because she had children patient’s condition in the hospital due to lack of in-
who rely on her and how they served as her inspiration person communication, unexpected death in a short
to pursue fighting in life. Meanwhile, Participant 9 period of time, and mourning ceremonies without
exhibited a peaceful countenance as she shared how customs and rituals.
she re-lived the memories of her loved one every day
and included him in her prayers because she was Corollary Question Number 2: What themes emerge
assured that her loved one was already with God. from the testimonies of family members bereaved by
COVID-19 infection from the time they learned of the
Lopez et al. (2015) stated that using spirituality as a death to grieving, mourning, and moving on in their
coping mechanism through times of intense struggle lives amid pandemic?
has been associated with higher levels of hope,
optimism, and positive life outcomes. Accordingly, There were ten themes that emerged from the
spirituality was the ―universal strength of responses of the participants. The themes were as
transcendence‖, a state of being that allowed people follows: Sense of Disbelief and Sorrow; Intense and
to connect with something bigger than themselves. Ambivalent Feelings; Reliance on Family Support and
People yearned for a connection to their deceased Faith in God; Positive Coping Strategies; Working
loved ones that extends beyond life, and spirituality through Acceptance; Inner Self Change; Realization
and the belief in the afterlife can provide such on the Value of Life, Faith, and Relationships ;
connection. Positive and Transformative; Positive Outlook in Life;
and Awareness of Reality through Negative Situations
Interview Question Number 10: In what ways do the and Learned Lessons.
circumstances of COVID-19 pandemic made an
impact in your experience of loss? Sense of Disbelief and Sorrow

When asked about how the circumstances of
COVID-19 made an impact on their experience of
loss, Participant 4 mentioned that it was hard to suffer
the loss of a loved one during COVID-19 since she
and her family were not able to see their loved one
after he was admitted to the hospital and died.
Meanwhile, Participant 8 shared that she was angry
about COVID-19. She said her loved one was
cremated due to the protocols which her mother did
not agree with yet they had no choice.
During the interview, anguish and regret were seen on
the face of Participant 4 as she articulated the difficult
situation she faced during the wake of loss in this
pandemic time. The health protocols which hindered
Participant 4 and her family to see their loved one,
The first interview question, ―What was your
reaction when you learned about what happened to
your loved one?‖ generated the first theme,
―Sense of Disbelief and Sorrow‖.
Since the coming of COVID-19 in 2020 has caused
sudden deaths to many people, the bereaved-
participants divulged that shock was their initial
reaction about the loss. They were bewildered as to
how their loved ones died of the virus considering that
most of them were in good condition before they died.
Because of unexpected death, some expressed how
they were in the state of denial. They could not believe
what happened. However, when they came to their
senses that the suddenness of death means that the
virus was really deadly, sorrow was their reaction.

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Consistent with Forney (2022), a sudden death brought
particular feelings and issues. The unexpected and
devastating nature of the experience caused shock and
disbelief. While the bereaved can never be totally
prepared for a death, a sudden death left them
particularly vulnerable. Accordingly, the most
overwhelming and common reaction to sudden death
was shock and confusion which resulted in feeling
disconnected from feelings or to other people. More
so, the initial grief reaction was often characterized by
disbelief accompanied by feelings of numbness or the
assumption that the person was still present.
Intense and Ambivalent Feelings
The second interview question, ―How would you
describe your feelings and thoughts (if any), in days
and weeks immediately following what happened to
your loved one?‖ generated the second theme,
―Intense and Ambivalent Feelings‖.
The loss of a loved one was life’s most stressful,
challenging, and devastating event. People can feel a
wide range of negative, intense, and mixed emotions
associated with the loss. In this study, the participants
expressed their extreme sadness and pain. They
divulged that it was the result of unanticipation of the
loss and the fact that they lost an immediate family
member. This pain resulted to a temporary unreal
feelings and loss of will to live. Moreover, the feeling
of unacceptance felt by the participants in days and
weeks after the loss was due to the fact that most of
them were left wondering how and why it happened.
They felt like questioning the suddenness of loss and
further had feelings of depression. Truly, it was hard to
accept the loss of a loved one when a person has
questions left unanswered because it somehow meant
that the bereaved was deprived of the opportunity to
understand the loss.
One of the significant aspects of the participants’
feelings and thoughts about the loss was on the way
how their loved one died because of COVID-19. They
divulged how hospitals were not able to accommodate
them, leaving their loved ones helpless until they died.
Thus, thoughts of what ifs and feelings of regrets
surfaced following the days and weeks after the loss.
The feelings of anger came as a consequence of
delayed diagnosis and how hospitals gave
interventions to their loved ones. At some point anger
became a dominant feeling because family role gave
them reason to suppress their sorrow. Meanwhile,
feelings of despair were influenced by the way
hospitals implemented health protocols and hospital
restrictions.
Motas et al.
This was congruent with Robinson and Smith (2021).
According to them, death was inescapable and losing a
loved one was one of the most agonizing experiences
someone can ever go through. Waves of extreme and
painful feelings may wash over someone, ranging from
deep sadness, emptiness, and despair to shock,
numbness, remorse, or regret. They may be enraged by
the circumstances of a loved one's death, directing
their hatred onto themselves, doctors, other family
members, or God. They may even struggle to
comprehend that the person was truly gone, or to
understand how they will ever recover and move on
from their loss. The support people had around them,
their personality, and their own health and well-being
can influence how grieving affected them after a loss.
Reliance on Family Support and Faith in God
The third interview question, ―How did you deal
with those feelings and thoughts? Were there certain
people who gave you support? What and how did they
provide support?‖ generated the third theme,
―Reliance to Family Support and Faith in God‖.
From the time of arrival of COVID-19 in 2020,
government restrictions and health protocols were
implemented. Most families were compelled to stay at
home and gatherings were limited. Funeral practices
were regulated and social supports were reduced to
virtual presence. Thus, bereaved family members
relied on the support of each other, making each
other’s presence as a source of strength, thus, helping
each other process their grief. Thus, in times of
COVID, family support was the most relevant social
network bereaved people can have. In addition, in
times of uncertainties of pandemic, the bereaved-
participants depended on their faith as a source of
comfort to handle their feelings and thoughts about the
loss. They believe that true comfort only came from
the true and only source, God.
In light of being a Filipino, they are known for having
strong and close family ties. They put high
consideration on the importance of family above all
else. It is spontaneous for a Filipino family to be
sensitive to the needs of other family members and
being there for them even if they are also hurting.
They share their problems and issues to one another
and together as one they help each other find solution
to it—Kapit-Bisig as the saying goes.
Additionally, the foundation of the family was built
with a strong faith and spirituality. With the aid of the
Almighty, a Filipino family seemed to bear the
unbearable because the strength they gave to each
other was the strength they receive from the Almighty.
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More so, the belief and faith that their family member
was in a better place now gave them assurance and
comfort.
According to Bergin (2016) in her article about
families grieving together, she stated that families
actively assisted one another while grieving together.
They listened to each other's complaints, shared
memories of the departed, and looked out for one
another. This looking out for one another assumed an
established family culture where helpful behaviors
were consistent. When tragedy struck a family, the
members can count on one another for support.
In addition, Kim and Goldstein (2017) mentioned that
one factor that aided the bereaved in better coping with
the loss was belongingness to a church, faith, or some
form of spirituality which encouraged a more positive
attitude on how loss influences their lives. Religion
can also provide a solution to existential ambiguity of
what occurred after this life on earth. Therefore,
having confidence in some type of existence after
death may lessen the uncertainty discrepancy because
believers expected and had a concept of life in the
hereafter. Believing that there was some sort of
existence after death may influence how people act
while they are still living. It was simpler for the
bereaved to deal with the loss if they had faith that
their loved one was in the "greatest place."
Positive Coping Strategies
The fourth interview question, ―What were the things
that you would do to avoid or engage in your grief?‖
generated the fourth theme, ―Positive Coping
Strategies‖.
The bereaved-participants expressed variety of ways to
avoid and engage in their grief in order to cope with
the loss. When confronting grief was unbearable to
handle, bereaved people found comfort and solace
with things related to religion and spirituality. Having
to participate in religious services can link the
bereaved with a well-defined community primed to
uplift them and ease their distress after a death. At the
same time, to avoid grief, bereaved- participants were
focusing on work. By focusing and keeping one’s
energy at work, the bereaved tended to forget in a
while the pain that kept on bothering them and their
preoccupations of the loss. Moreover, indulging in
social media was another way bereaved avoid their
grief. Social media was considered as a stress reliever
and escape to reality. It helped the bereaved family
members to avoid thinking their loved ones and pulled
themselves away from their feelings of sadness and
Motas et al.
sorrow which at some point they were getting tired to
feel. Keeping oneself at home can be both avoidance
and engagement in grief. When the bereaved family
members keep themselves busy at home like watching,
doing household chores, removing their loved one’s
picture at home, they avoided feeling their pain. At the
same time, when the bereaved were at home thinking
of the memories of their loved through their things like
clothes and photos, that’s the time they poured out
their feelings and engaged in their grief.
While there are different ways to avoid and confront
grief, bereaved- participants responses proved that
they deal with their grief in oscillating fashion. At
times they make conscious effort to feel the pain. At
other times, they would need to pull back from the
pain by focusing on other things.
This was in consonance with Perper (2018) who stated
that the fundamental component of healthy grieving
was to courageously experience the pain and sorrow
associated with loss. However, it was equally
important to give oneself permission to take breaks
away from grief. Most people engaged in activities
that distract or comfort them when they experienced
unpleasant and extreme thoughts and feelings. In fact,
taking breaks was essential to one’s mental, emotional,
and physical well-being.
Working through Acceptance
The fifth interview question, ―How would you
describe the way you've been feeling today compared
to the days and weeks immediately following what
happened to your loved one?‖ generated the fifth
theme, ―Working through Acceptance‖. The
participants expressed how their feelings about the loss
have changed at present. Most of the participants
mentioned that they were already accepting the loss of
their loved one. Accordingly, accepting the loss of a
loved one required not only hard work but faith.
Knowing and believing that the loved one was in
union with God made it easier for bereaved family
members to accept the reality of the loss. In fact, to
become more adjusted to the loss of a loved one meant
learning to live in an entirely new way which made the
bereaved family members much stronger. The things
they used to do and depended on with their loved ones
and the things their loved ones used to do for them,
they now had the courage to do all by themselves.
Thus, they became more independent and responsible
in their own lives. Meanwhile, while some bereaved
family members were already accepting and getting
stronger after the loss, some were still slowly
accepting. Usually, bereaved family members came to
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accept the loss gradually. They were aware of what
happened but there were feelings and thoughts that
they needed to process until such time they can fully
understand the reality and accept the loss. On the
contrary, there were some bereaved family members
who were still in sorrow. Bearing the pain and sorrow
of the loss was sometimes difficult for bereaved people
because of some consequences faced after the loss.
When the bereaved are conscious about the progress of
their feelings about the loss, it is an indication that
they are working through the process of acceptance.
Whether the bereaved feel that they already accepted,
in the process of accepting, or not yet accepting the
loss, the fact remains that the pain is still there, they
just only learned how to endure and live with it in their
everyday lives.
According to Rando (2022), people who were grieving
gradually came to terms with the reality of losing a
loved one. They understood that they will not be able
to understand it or its repercussions until they have had
enough time and experience to teach them.
Intellectually, people might be aware of their loved
one's passing immediately. However, it took a lot
longer for them to integrate this fact and come to a
place where they can genuinely recognize it.
Inner Self Change
The sixth interview question, ―What specific
changes you have noticed about yourself over six
months or as a year passed?‖ generated the sixth
theme, ―Inner Self Change‖.
Losing a loved one was a turning point of everyone’s
life. It was the time bereaved people learned to
discover more about themselves, the reality of life, re-
focus their goals, and re-shape their identity. It
revealed their personality, capacity, capability, highest
values, and ideals. Sometimes it brought change that
let the bereaved felt that they were never the same
again. Bereaved-participants expressed how they
became stronger and family-focus after the loss.
Having the courage and fortitude to stand steadfastly
despite the loss of a loved one was what made the
bereaved family members stronger. Yet, these courage
and fortitude to withstand the struggle did not come in
an instant. It came with a reason why they choose
courage and became stronger–and that was family.
Family was to whom people first know how to love
and be loved. Thus, it was innate for people to give
back, express their love, think of their well- being, and
include them in their future goals, particularly in times
of a devastating struggle like after the loss of a family
Motas et al.
member. Furthermore, losing a loved one often
compelled the bereaved to stand for their family.
Oftentimes, they became in charge of those who were
still alive–their welfare and future. They took on the
role of the deceased family member to deal with the
secondary losses as a consequence of the death that
may affect the family as a whole like loss of income,
loss of provider, loss of decision-maker, and others.
Moreover, when the bereaved family members
realized the reality of life and the reality that only God
can satisfy the deep longings of their heart to be
comforted in times of grief, they became more God-
centered after the loss. Truly, when all else failed, it
was God to whom people found answer and comfort.
Losing a loved one can also bring a negative change in
the bereaved. The responses of the participants
indicate that they had a tendency to be stuck and they
may feel losing a sense of direction which resulted in
resisting new challenges; especially if they feel that
they can no longer act on the role they previously had.
Vasquez (2021) stated that a person's psychology and
personality can be permanently changed by intense
grief. For several weeks or months following the loss
of a loved one, the fundamental changes that occurred
soon after experiencing a significant loss may go
unnoticed. The person's behavior, and interpersonal
interactions will gradually change from how they used
to be to the new person they had become as they
learned to cope with the loss. A person acknowledged
that he/she can never go back to how it was before the
loss so he/she created a new life and identity for his or
herself. In particular, a person can be more focus on
the opportunity to get closer to others especially his or
her family.
Realization on the Value of Life, Faith, and
Relationships
The seventh interview question,―Over the past 6
months to a year and onwards, were there times you
felt a sense of meaning or a positive outcome or
growth as a result of what happened? How would you
describe that experience?‖ generated the seventh
theme, ―Realization on the Value of Life, Faith, and
Relationships‖.
Based on the responses of the participants, the death of
their loved one due to COVID-19 made them realized
that it was important to fulfill God’s purpose, trust His
will, be positive, strong, and strengthen more their
faith in God. Thus, bereaved family members ascribed
meaning and positive outcome of the loss through
divine understanding. By looking it in the perspective
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of what was divine, bereaved family members can
certainly go on in their lives despite the loss of a loved
one. Additionally, the loss of their loved one taught
them to become intentionally aware and be fully
engaged in life by appreciating and prioritizing their
family and accepting what was around (COVID-19
pandemic), and by how the past (the loss of their loved
one) informed the future (meaning and positive
outcome of the loss). More so, it opened the mind of
the bereaved about the reality of what it was to live
without their loved one. Thus, bereaved family
members especially those with critical role in the
family like the spouse or the eldest child compensated
for the missing piece by assuming the responsibility of
the deceased loved one in order to go on with their
lives as a family. By taking the responsibility, the
bereaved family members realized the positive
outcome and growth the loss brought to them
individually and as a family.
In relation to this, Pearce (2016) mentioned that for all
the pain the death of a loved one brings, it held many
meanings for the bereaved. Most of which were
realizations about the reality of life in general like how
loss was inevitable and how pain and joy can coexist.
Also, it brought hope to find the purpose of life, be
true to oneself, and prioritize loved ones. More
importantly, it taught about faith.
Moreover, Postle (2022) stated that experiencing the
death of a loved one prepared the bereaved for coming
to terms with their own mortality and accepting the
things they cannot change. It also brought families and
communities together by giving each other support and
appreciation of the value of everyone’s life. It also
helped the bereaved became mature and grew as
people by assuming responsibility, having the
confidence to cope with life’s challenges, being
grateful every day, treasuring precious memories, and
loving the people around them, especially their family.
Also, it taught empathy and understanding to be more
caring of others.
Positive and Transformative
The eighth interview question,―People say that their
beliefs and perspective in the world and life have
changed because of the loss. If this has occurred to
you, how would you describe the changes in your
beliefs?‖ generated the eighth theme,
―Positive and Transformative‖.
When people experienced the death of a family
member, it can shake the foundation of their
perspectives and beliefs in life. They may reject
Motas et al.
certain beliefs and replace it with new or they may
modify it in order to understand, find meaning in the
loss and in their lives in general. The responses of the
participants indicate a positive and transformative
change in their beliefs and perspectives. For instance,
they mentioned that the loss of their loved one made
them focus on what matters most. Certainly, a
rewarding and a meaningful life was not based on
what people can acquire, accumulate, and achieve in
life, but rather by doing the best they can to fulfill
God’s purpose for them by loving the people God has
put in their lives until the end of their existence. Also,
they learned the importance of work-life balance. They
came to realize the need for equilibrium between their
means to help their family and spending time with
their family in order to avoid regrets when
unpredictable circumstances happens. The significance
of keeping the faith aided them in understanding why
the loss happened and found a sense of meaning to it
and shaped their identity not only for themselves but
for their family as well.
Raman (2015) explained that loss can help people put
so various things about life into novel perspective.
Gaining new insights can be a motivation for improved
decisions, and better relationships, and encouraged
people to make adjustments they knew they needed to
in order to live a more satisfying life. People who
experienced a shift in perspective were better able to
make the most of their lives because they became
more self-aware, value life more, was reminded of
their mortality, and acquired mental fortitude from the
loss through their social networks.
In addition, Griffin (2018) stated that losing a loved
one moved people’s hearts to go to God. Surrendering
to God everything that burdened people made the
burden strong enough to bear. Although the loss of a
loved one pains the heart, it built faith. She also
mentioned that only until people lost a loved one and
faith strengthened them, that they become more
emphatic providing sympathy and support to others.
Furthermore, she explained that people’s perception of
what was significant in life began to shift. There
became a separation between petty things and things
that mattered most in their life and those whom they
considered important.
Positive Outlook in Life
The ninth interview question, ―In terms of now, how
do you approach life without your loved one?‖
generated the ninth theme, ―Positive Outlook in
Life‖.
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When asked about how they approach life at present
without their loved one despite the changes brought
about by COVID-19 pandemic in their daily lives, the
responses of the participants indicate that they
approached life with a sense of hope and resilience.
For instance, by being independent and strong,
bereaved family members were giving themselves
space to grow without their deceased loved ones and
love those who were still alive. At the same time, by
being hopeful, bereaved family members got to have
more reasons to fight particularly when it came to
family. Also, by being prayerful, they can face their
everyday lives with a bearable heart while reliving the
memories of their deceased loved one as an inspiration
to love more those who remain. Finally, despite the
hardships and challenges faced because of the loss of a
loved one, bereaved family members choose to
continue living.
Bereaved family members continued to live and went
on with their lives for their deceased loved one as a
way of honoring them. By being happy together, doing
activities together, and loving one other, the bereaved
family members felt that their loved one felt the same
way about them. Nevertheless, this did not imply that
they had forgotten their loss. It did not imply putting
the experience of loss behind them; rather, it meant
embracing the loss and finding the good in it so that
they can move forward with their life and the lives of
their family members.
This was supported by Long (2015) who stated that
moving on with the loss had something to do with
learning to live life. It was continuing to live even as
people long and yearn for the loss. It was about
remembering and honoring the deceased loved one
while also embracing life’s beauty. It was more about
moving forward than being stuck because grief and
loss were ingrained into people’s lives that they cannot
get rid of. It only changed in time. People got stronger
as they bore it and through time it started to consume
less space in their lives. It did not simply fade but will
continue to serve as a constant reminder of people’s
loss throughout their lives. Thus, people continued
living their lives in this way, accepting it as a part of
who they were.
Awareness of Reality through Negative Situations
and Learned Lessons
The tenth interview question, ―In what ways do
the circumstances of COVID-19 pandemic made
an impact in your experience of loss?‖ generated
the tenth theme, ―Awareness of Reality
through Negative Situations and Learned Lessons‖.
Motas et al.
The bereaved-participants realized that the
circumstances of COVID-19 made an impact on how
they should take care of their health. Accordingly,
taking care of one’s health was doubly necessary in
times of COVID-19. By being mindful of health,
bereaved-participants believed that it can prevent
major damage like severe complications and loss of
life thru contributing to the spread of the disease.
Nowadays, love for family members and other people
can be expressed by taking care of one’s own health
and obeying protocols for the safety of everyone. In
addition, the circumstances of COVID-19 also made
an impact on how the bereaved-participants view the
―new normal‖ of life. Accordingly, Life is indeed
short and seems to become shorter because of
COVID-19. Thus, it was important for bereaved-
participants to cherish the moment they have with their
loved ones, to express their love for them, and to enjoy
every moment with them because they never knew
when their time would come. Bereaved-participants
expressed that the circumstances of COVID- 19 made
them experience difficult situation on the loss of their
loved one. In fact, these circumstances doubled their
suffering and pain by not being accommodated by
hospitals, not being able to treat their loved one
immediately by the medical workers, not being able to
say goodbye with their loved ones after their loved one
died, and not being able to see their remains. The
bereaved-participants were deprived of the opportunity
they deserved to express their love with their loved
one even if they can because of the necessary
protocols they needed to follow. Ironically, though
COVID-19 pandemic has negatively altered the way
bereaved people confront grief and bereavement as
proven by the experiences of the bereaved-
participants, the way they constructed idea about life
and prioritized important things to be of love to others
was an indication that COVID-19 brought realization
that made the bereaved became a better versions of
themselves for their family.
Corpuz (2021) in his correspondence about the
complicated process of grief in the time of COVID-19,
he stated the pandemic made an impact on the
emotional, social, and spiritual life of the public.
Because of the prohibition of mass gatherings,
quarantine regulations, and self-isolation, hospitals and
healthcare facilities were not open to visitors. Clergy
members were unable to be present in person when the
sick were dying. Many families were unable to say
goodbye to their loved ones, many people cannot
attend funeral rites, and many people cannot perform
their final mourning rituals. These complicated
situations have not only distressed the dying but also
their bereaved family members. For instance, the
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relatives and friends of people who passed away in
medical facilities with strict visitation rules struggled
with their frustration at being absent during the dying
process. It was not permitted to visit the bodies of
COVID-19 victims in person.
Additionally, the circumstances of COVID-19 and the
COVID-19 itself made an impact on how people
reflect on their lives in general. Thornton (2020) stated
how COVID-19 made an impact on people’s everyday
lives from isolation, travel restrictions, economic
cessations, and the death of a loved one. It enabled
people to re- examine their lives, values, lifestyles, and
relationships. For instance, people learned that there
was nothing certain but the uncertain. Life was
unpredictable. Life was short. In an instant, everything
can change and people’s lives can be taken away from
them. Also, though there were lockdowns and
quarantine restrictions, people realized that still, life
should go on. Although many have been greatly
affected, the most important thing was that people
were able to adjust and bounce back. More so, people
also learned that at any time, they can be vulnerable.
Thus, taking care of oneself was necessary, and
seeking support from family helped them bear their
struggles.
Corollary Question Number 3: Based on the findings
of the study, what output may be proposed that can
help family members bereaved due to COVID-19
infection enhance their ability to deal and improve the
quality of their lives after loss?
As a result, this study suggested making a community-
based bereavement care and psychosocial support
program action plan for COVID-19 bereaved family
members to assist them in healthy grieving and
cultivate emotional, mental, social, spiritual, and
psychological well-being from the time they learned
about the loss of their loved one due to COVID-19 to
moving forward in their lives.
Since COVID-19 pandemic has brought challenges in
the experience of death, grief and bereavement, their
emotional, mental, spiritual, social, and psychological
well-being are crucial for the them as they journey
through their grief and move forward in their lives. By
cultivating mental and emotional well-being through
assisting the bereaved in sharing their thoughts,
feelings, and emotional concerns, and providing
strategies to cope with it, helps them acknowledge and
manage their thoughts and emotions and prevent
mental health problems. For spiritual wellness, it can
help the bereaved foster meaning and hope in their
lives after the loss. Moreover, taking steps to enhance
Motas et al.
social wellness by providing support group in their
grief journey can assist them in processing their loss
experience. Finally, cultivating psychological well-
being can help the bereaved to live happy and
purposeful life despite the loss.
Conclusion
The death of a loved one is an event that would really
challenge the core of a person’s being—from
reactions, feelings, thoughts, behaviour, coping,
finding meaning, and moving forward in life. It really
takes a lot of time and effort to process the struggle. In
this era of COVID-
19 pandemic in which people experience complicated
loss of a loved one, one thing is certain, though it
posed a challenge in the process of grief, bereaved
family members still have positive outlook and strong
disposition to accept, find meaning in the loss, and
move forward in their lives amid pandemic. For
instance, they were able to rely on their family for
support with faith as their foundation and were able to
establish healthy coping strategies in order to deal with
the loss.
In addition, though COVID-19 has negatively changed
the way bereaved experience death, grief, and
bereavement, it also made a positive shift on how
bereaved see themselves and construct ideas about life.
It gave a realization for the bereaved to become better
versions not only for themselves but for their family as
well. Indeed, realization of a greater purpose comes
after a rock bottom experience.
Overall, this is an affirmative experience for the
researcher. The study was expected to discover the
negative impact of this phenomenon to the bereaved
family members. However, as one of the many people
who lost a loved one, the researcher found out that the
lived experience of the bereaved family members
testified to the beliefs and perspectives that the
researcher holds–that regardless of how complicated
the circumstances of the death of a loved one, people
will eventually accept and acknowledge it as part of
their lives and find pathways to meaning, hope, and
resilience.
From the findings and conclusions, the following are
the recommendations of the study: First, Bereaved are
encouraged to seek help from professionals if they feel
that they are having difficulties in processing their
grief and if it already hinders them in different areas of
functioning. Also, families are encouraged to cultivate
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more an atmosphere of love and acceptance in the
family to help family members who have difficulty
adapting to the loss. The church and community are
encouraged to offer spiritual wellness seminar for
COVID-19 bereaved family members to strengthen
more their faith and spirituality which will aid them in
facing life’s challenges after the loss. Local
governments are encouraged to continue to educate the
public about the health protocols and preventive
measures to prevent contraction of the virus that may
result to loss of life. Likewise, the National
government are highly encouraged to re- evaluate
COVID-19 existing guidelines, make necessary
adjustment, or create policies that would provide
support and assistance to the bereaved family
members. Furthermore, mental health professionals
may develop a comprehensive program that would
improve the quality of care and psychosocial support
to those facing death of a family member due to
COVID-19 infection to prevent the development of
psychological problems. They may adopt the proposed
program action plan of this study subject to their
review and evaluation. Lastly, for future researchers,
may this research initiative aid them to study the grief
and bereavement during COVID-19 in different
settings using different methods of research focusing
on gender differences considering it has remained
unexplored lately.
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