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 O N T H E C O V E R Photographs by Kerry Hallihan. Hair: Ryan Richman at Starworks Artists using Suave Professionals. Makeup: Allan Avendano at Starworks Artists using Chanel Les Beiges. Manicure:
Thuy Nguyen at Starworks Artists using Essie. Props styled by Bette Adams at Mary Howards Studios. Production: Crawford Productions. Forevermark earrings. Eric Javits hat. To get Sarah’s look, try Ultra
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2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
ma y

PAGE
ON THIS

Cross bag.
skirt, tights, and

Renta ring. Mark

mules. Oscar de la
Versace trench coat,
8

94
94

42
28

86
86

20

80
64
118

122
102

inside

life

l ust
yo u
not to

celeb

beaut y
cleaning
Has your

f ashio n
boyfriend

f e a t u r es
years old?

group chat
the century

we told her
The biggest
sex scam of
that he’s 35

ast r o l o g y
your tub for
baths worth
5 Instagram
Here lies the
been aggres-
cover stories
CASSIE ANDERSON
RAMONA ROSALES

fashion by
photographs by

In memoriam:
Sarah Hyland
sively insisting

did everything

LO C AT I O N : B E A S T Y F E A S T. F O R S H O P P I N G I N F O R M AT I O N , G O TO C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O M .
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 Editor-in- Chief n Fa mily t his w SVP/Publishing Director, Chief Revenue Officer
der
JESSICA PELS Mo ee
ke NANCY BERGER
ch nd
at
CRE ATIVE D I REC TO R Andy Turnbull ASSO CI AT E PU B L ISH ER/CRO Leslie Picard

-w

*
e
E X ECU T IVE ED I TO R Sascha de Gersdorff ASSO CIAT E PU BLISH ER/ADVERTISI N G Stacy Nathan

ing
D EPU T Y ED ITO RS Rosa Heyman, Jen Ortiz ASSO CI AT E PU B L ISH ER/H E A D O F B R A N D

minds self to b
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*r e
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Ed letter SO WE DID
A COOL
THING...
I mean, in addi-
tion to presenting
our biggest, most
You might already know beauty inclusive beauty
assistant Ama Kwarteng from awards ever.
We also teamed
Cosmo’s YouTube channel,
up with Dove,
and you def already follow Girlgaze, and
her genius skincare advice Getty Images to
spread the word
(whether you realize it or not), about Project
but have you *seen* a day in #ShowUs—a pow-
erful initiative that
her product-packed, event-filled
features women
life? No. No, you have not. of *all* back-
grounds, lifestyles,
and body types
in thousands of
diverse photos that
magazines can
use. Flip to page
61 to see what
three of the badass
women involved in
this awesomeness
have to say. —JP

6 P. M .

I’m back at my
desk reaching out
to experts and get-
ting a head start on
research for stories
that are due tomor-
row. I peek at my
desk mirror—the
eyeliner over my left
11 A . M . eye is flakier than
that Hinge boy I was
I make it to the office
supposed to meet
just in time for a
up with last week;
brainstorm with my
liquid eyeliners and team. We always guys, it’s a Really. looks as good as it
swipe one on my left need to come up Big. Thing.), it’s
eye, the other on with fresh content for beauty awards
my right. May the stories and our acne season. And after have a winner!
longest-lasting cat newsletter, so we we pick the best
eye win. *rubs hands start bouncing “Will products, we need
together maniacally* anyone actually want to plan an incredible
to read this?” ideas
off each other. meeting—and lots of
9:30 A . M .
others—with our art Ama Kwar teng
K WA R T E N G : R U B E N C H A M O R R O.

B e aut y A ssist ant

department.
11: 5 5 A . M . @A m a Kwar t e n g

Our lobby security

calls up to let me
know my guests from
Kiehl’s have arrived.
Another part of

6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
Photo by Girlgaze photographer: Olivia Mortimer

no digital
distortion

1062230646

Elle Rose
Model & Trans Activist

beauty isn’t binary

ì*URZLQJXSDVDWUDQVJHQGHUZRPDQ,ZDVSUHVVXUHGWRFKDQJHZKR,ZDVWRðWRWKHUVâLGHDVDERXWZKR
DZRPDQVKRXOGEH1RZ,âPUHSUHVHQWLQJP\VHOIDQGP\EHDXW\RQP\RZQWHUPVúò(OOH5RVH
Dove is partnering with women & non-binary individuals worldwide to shatter beauty stereotypes.
Project #ShowUs is a collection of 10,000 images, available for use by all media & advertisers. Dove.com/ShowUs
 c e l e b

p e r s o n’s

guide to the

Met Gala T h is r i g h t h e r e
is a w h o l e
e n t ir e m o o d.

You’re never gonna go (sad), but you’re

always gonna track the dresses and
the drama so you might as well know why.
By ERIN CUNNINGHAM
G E T T Y I M A G E S ( 8 ).

8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
GABRIELLE. THE ESSENCE OF A WOMAN.

discover EAU DE PARFUM

 MACY’S discover EAU DE PARFUM
chanel.com
 celeb

y e a h,
Anna says
Oh
is thin

h
y o u c a n’t
c o m e, s o r r y!
th ru g
as le

s
No
food that
could get
stuck in your
come to this teeth or
rundown of make your
breath smell
gross can be
could dig up served. Sorry
to this garlic.

couldn’t snag
an invite until
No
pictures inside.
Not that this
has stopped
celebs from
posting pics
from the bath-
fashion” is a room. (Btw,
Vogue staffers,
not securit y,
have to enforce
this. I’m pictur-
ing, like, me
telling Kylie to
put away her
world’s most phone, and it’s
not going
well…!)

trouble (heyyy, Too-damn- 5 p.m. and Louis their seats for 10 p.m.
Dakota Johnson’s early a.m. Arrivals start Vuitton’s dinner. There A surprise
Entire day of in an Anna- Nicolas is definitely musical guest!
and Bella Hadid’s glam begins. dictated Ghesquière). such a thing Lady Gaga, No
smoking selfies), Most boldface order, kicking Beyoncé and as a “bad” Madonna, spouses sitting
or show off new names are off with Anna Rihanna tend table. Staffers and Katy together as
a couple of herself. Then to go last allegedly Perry have all
boos. J.Lo and couples. Just
blocks away the cochairs because ofc. placate performed.
A-Rod, Nick and one more man-
at The Mark (this year’s: ahead of time
date of the
world’s most
meticulous
seating chart.
big couple

iconic Met ***But m ake it t h e m e -y

You know how Halloween is just an excuse to put on an OTT ’fit? This is
all that that with couture. 2020’s theme is About Time: Fashion and Duration. No
goes into Super vague, as always (see: 2016’s Manus x Machina). But all the personal publi-
better to get creative with, my dear. Not that creative, tho, because cists. Stars
the first
in a lot of cases, Anna gets to decide which celebs are dressed have to leave
Monday in by which designers. theirs at the
May. door, so
literally *any-
thing* could
happen inside.

9
celeb
I d i d n’t wa nt t o h a ve k i ds
unt il B aby Yo d a
h ap p e n e d
Stare into his giant
eyes and you, too,
will want your IUD
removed.
By BLY TH E RO BERSO N
he first time
Baby Yoda
waved his
tiny magic
hands onscreen, a
friend immediately
asked which camp I
was in: “I would kill
for Baby Yoda” or
“I would die for Baby
Yoda.” My answer:
“I want to give birth
to Baby Yoda.”
I stand by that
statement. Which
is wild, because I
famously do not want
to have kids. It’s just
not for me. Besides
the obvious reasons
($$$$, poop, respon-
sibility), I constantly
think about an article
I once read that said
not having a child is
the most effective way
to cut your carbon
footprint. Basically, it’s
how I preemptively jus-
tify the many private
planes I’d charter if I
spontaneously became
a billionaire. It’s my
only defense if I ever
meet Greta Thunberg.
1 0 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
, I w i l l …”
ay
s s
o u s l y.
seri
“In this e
Th
o, i
(N
s
is
an essay
b y Yo d
u t Ba a .)
bo
a
long line of opti-
mally cute baby
characters: People
of the inter-
I just can’t stop net have
compared
imagining
him to
where I would
predeces-
put his floating sor Baby
crib/stroller. Groot,
and we’ve
already seen the
first blatant copy-
cat-but-make-it-an-
advertisement with
Planters’ Baby Nut.
Sure, it’s an opportu-
nistic attempt to jump
on the bébé band-
wagon and sell some
peanuts, but even
still I cannot stop
cooing over him and
his too-big top hat.
And just like that, I’m
calling up my gyno
I L L U S T R AT I O N BY K H A D I J A H O R TO N . B A BY YO DA : L U C A S F I L M LT D./ T H E H O L LY W O O D A R C H I V E /A L A MY.
to ask how long an
IUD removal takes.
Who knows how
many other women
have seen Baby
understanding the Yoda playing with
Except now, there concept of hiding. imagining where in a metal ball and
was this lil green Literal science has my studio apartment I lost their resolve
nugget of a character shown that humans would put his floating to remain childless
on Disney+’s The are drawn to things crib/stroller. I picture for the good of the
Mandalorian. And with big eyes and holding him for fun planet? Look, I’m not
all I could think about round heads. I mean, and also because saying Baby Yoda is
was why no one was obviously everyone touch is important to an ecoterrorist, here
reading to him. How loves Baby Yoda. infant development. to cause a popula-
was he going to learn He’s like Yoda but I ponder raising him tion explosion and
new words?? Droids with even bigger eyes vegetarian and then fast-track climate
were shooting at and an even rounder worry whether there change. But I’m
each other and my head (and without are nutrients a Yoda also…not not saying
focus was one hun- the weirdly annoying baby needs that he can that. *sips tea*
dred percent on the sentence construc- only get from meat.
importance, develop- tion). I just can’t stop Of course, Baby
mentally, of The Child Yoda is just one in a
celeb

M y b o r d e r l i n e N S F W Fr i d a y-
n i g h t p h o n e c a l l w i t h r i d i c u l o us l y
a t t r a c t i ve H o l l y wo o d st a r

J a ke Pic k in g By EMMA BATY

He’s got that high school quarterback vibe you hate

to love (even though, ’scuse you, he actually played
hockey). So I got him to take a break from his busy
Hot Man Schedule of filming Top Gun: Maverick and
Netflix’s Hollywood to embarrass himself, just a little.

the sexiest quality any-

Tell me w here you’re
sit ting right now.
I’m actually at my par-
ents’, making lasagna
with my mom.
Wait, that ’s adorable.
Do you like t o co ok
even w hen your
mom’s not invol ve d?
Yeah, I make a really
good bowl of Frosted
Flakes.
S omet hing we ha ve
in common! L et ’s
t alk ab out your ow n
ap ar t ment. Are you
a lapt op-in-b e d kind
of gu y? T V on the
dresser?
Neither! I try to keep
technology out of the
bedroom, you know?
Sure, I guess the
b e dro om is b est for…
sle eping. What do es
These hands a dat e night in look
look ver y like for you?
h o l d a b l e....
Just watching a movie
is kind of a cop-out. I
want to talk. Genuine
kindness is probably
one can have, but the
ability to be vulnerable
is also very desirable.
When I’m embarrassing
myself, that’s probably
when I’m having the
most fun.
What do you do
that ’s emb arrassing?
I don’t know. Like, this
conversation right now?
You’re doing gre at.
But a night like that
definit el y re quires
ambience. How do
you set the mo o d?
Candles, for sure.
Wine. Italian food. I’ll
Postmates some dark
chocolate. Whipped
cream.
Whipp e d cre am?
Just, um, ’cause?
Yes.
Oka y, I’m w riting
that dow n. “Whipp e d
cre am, no cont ex t.”
J E R E MY P O P E .

1 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
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celeb

Ty r a B a n k s m a d e the l i t t i e s t
p l a y list f o r yo u r n ex t p r e - g a m e
Straight - up bangers from the star of Quibi’s Beaut y.
By EMMA BATY

S o n g s t o s t r i ke
for slinking down
a pose to against a wall and
getting a little moody.
The piano takes it to
Electricit y
1 the next level.”
BY S I L K C I T Y A N D
D U A L I PA
6. “When you need
to absolutely rock
something, from
Trndst tr
2 making a speech at
BY B L AC K COA S T
work to winning at
the Super Bowl, this
is the song!”
3
Hot Tot tie
BY US H E R
did you kno

g
n
m, w ni
U T y r a ’s o p e

s
theme p I

t’
g i t ark
le ?
this month

e.
Doin’ It Right a M odelLa
lle
d nd om
4
BY DA F T P U N K a
. Yo u ’r e w e l c
c

7. “All right, now I’m

5
7 Ye ars talking tongues-out
BY JA S M I N E T H O M P S O N Miley craziness. Act
a fool, get wild, party
hard.”
Shining
6
BY DJ K H A L E D W I T H 8. “When the vibe is
B E Y O N C É A N D J AY-Z ‘I need you but don’t
want to let you know
I need you,’ this track
7
#GETITRIGHT makes you feel seen.”
BY M I L E Y C Y RUS
9. “Ethereal,
1. “A total turn-up celestial—it’s what
song! It doesn’t matter you want to listen to
Easy 3. “Now, this is a beat
8 what you’re celebrat- when you’re wearing
BY A N N A W I S E A N D to make you shake
X AV I E R O M Ä R ing: a graduation, a white and sparkles
your booty and be the
marriage, just partying. and you want to feel
sexiest you can be.”
This is absolutely like an angel.”
In Common what you should be 4. “Think sci-fi meets
9
P l us o n e 10. “Okay, here’s
BY A L I C I A K E YS playing. You can’t lis- ‘hi-fi’ fashion. This
h a p p y- c r y something a little
jam bc ten to it and not smile.” inspires some serious
US different. This will
BON K!
C w hy n o t ? robotic movements.”
TRA
2. “If you’re making put you in your feels
I’m Kissing You 5. “Now for posing: about the deepest,
M O L LY C R A N N A .

10 your friend do an
BY D ES’R E E
Instagram photo shoot This is the song I use most innocent and
for you, this is the to get my mind right beautiful love you’ve
perfect soundtrack.” ever had.”

1 4 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 AVA I L A B L E AT

DRESSTHEPOPULATION.COM/COSMOPOLITAN
celeb

g e t t in g the
Just giving you a heads - up before you t weet something questionably
thirst y ’bout one of these v bad dudes! B y H A N N A H C H A M B E R S

to our lovely Tom to

turn him into one
of the most infamous
gangsters of all
H o w m a ny
h o u r s is t o o
time? Make him
m a ny h o u r s t o look like a creepy
watch murder uncle, that’s what.
f il m s? The worst part is,
half of us will leave
the movie thinking,
Still would.

I E
JA M

as
kay, I get why Hollywood
keeps casting objectively
D r. D e a t h
T O M
hot people to play Remember when
you listened to the P I N S: DA N I E L L E DA LY. E F R O N : A L A MY. D O R N A N , H A R DY, R A H I M : G E T T Y I M A G E S ( 3 ).
murderers (you can check
Dr. Death podcast
my math: hot people = more viewers
and didn’t
= more money). But now, we have an sleep for months?
outbreak of Normal Folks developing No? Then how
~feelings~ for Terrible Men. Like, sure, about a recap?
Ted Bundy wooed victims with his charm Dr. Christopher
and good looks, but did we really need Duntsch is a
as con man and
neurosurgeon who
to give him Zac’s six-pack too? Or Al Capone mass murderer
This king of soft Charles Sobhraj,
smiles and perfectly the chief suspect
effortless facial hair in 20 unsolved
will star as the mob slayings of
boss in Fonzo. Let Western travelers
me just pose this in India, Thailand,
question: Do you and Nepal
know what they are in the 1970s.
going to have to do

1 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
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celeb

Ce l e b r it i es a r e n’t int o
yo u r t iny t a t t r e n d m
ol-is

h
s
I don’t make the rules!
Lady Gaga does! 1

MILEY CYRUS
By HANNAH CHAMBERS

l
She could hide this
art under regular
clothes, but…why?
1
.
ed

il zodiac
t remov

2
symbols,
RIHANNA
miniscule pet
get i

A “tribute to her
pics, delicate
grandma” in the form
to

cursive—been
rd

of an underboob
fo

there, Pinned that,

af

d Egyptian goddess.
ul
got the targeted co 2 Sure.
I
if

ads to prove it. But

o,
o t h is, t o

while we normies 3
spend months L ADY GAGA
on end debating
I ’d d

Tried *so* hard not

whether a subtle to make a pun about
so-hot-rn finger how she wasn’t
tattoo could make “born this way,” but
here we are.
us unemployable
and/or our mothers 3

disown us, famous 4

people are still out SCARJO

here inking up their So sweet! So floral!
literal entire bods. So perfect for
pairing with low-
These masterpieces 4 back dresses on a
are the biggest red carpet!
“they’re most
definitely not like us”
5
flex since “I clearly
ANGELINA
don’t have to carry
JOLIE A F F L E C K : C R O C K Y/ F L I G H T R I S K /G O A L / B A C KG R I D. A L L OT H E R S: G E T T Y I M A G E S .
any of my own shit”
The OG
micro purses. Here’s trend-bucking
a fun little ranking ink fiend.
for ya, from almost
normal size to
6
absolutely huge.
BEN AFFLECK
Show me this
as a warning the
I h a v e… next time I go to a
5
q u e s t i o ns. tat parlor and
ask for “something
random.”
us

no
rmo
6

1 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 Th
rowbac
k E
dition!

2 0 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
TH
IS = THA
T

By SARAH WELDON
Just trust us:
y o u

after-school snack you are

No one’s chill enough to be Capri Sun, so don’t even tr y.
Yo u r S t a r b u c k s o r d e r r e v e a l s w h i c h
C O R E Y M AY WA LT. P R O P S S T Y L E D BY S O P H I E L E N G. S TA R B U C K S: C O U R T E S Y ( 8 ). P L A I N W H I T E
S TA R B U C K S C U P, B A G E L B I T E S: A L A MY. S K I P P Y, P O L LY- O : C O U R T E S Y. YO O - H O O : S H U T T E R S TO C K .
 you

T TE WITH AC K I CED ESTN UT R A M EL

LA BL CH CA
O N D MI CO FFEE IN E L A ACC
H IAT
LM L K AL TT M O
A R E
P

ICYMI, you’re
reading a throw-
back edition of
this section right
now. To mark
the Very Impor-
tant occasion,
I went ahead
and “scientifi-
cally” analyzed
your grown-up
fuel of choice to
determine your P O L LY- O BAGEL H OT- FU D G E S U N DA E EASY M AC
TWISTS BITES P O P-TA R T S
childhood fuel
alter ego. The Just like the snack
You’re a little You think you’re You’re not like a regu- pretending to be a
stakes are high, basic—but you better than everyone lar Pop-Tart, you’re whole-ass meal in
I know, but don’t pretend not to be, else because you’re the sweetest Pop-Tart a teensy little cup,
which is why you both pizza and a ever created. Probs you want it all! Ofc
you want to do
have le twist (duh). bagel. Frankly, because you believed you get that the Starbs
life knowing if You lie in wait, you’re not wrong. in Santa until you were staff hates making
you’re a freakin’ ready to call out So go sip your drink 15. You can take pride your favorite drink
your barista for and preach that you in knowing you’re every day at 8:15
Bagel Bite? using regular milk don’t “need” sugar. the number one pick a.m., but you’re never
even though your (I’ll be over here high- at the 7-Eleven check- gonna apologize for
dairy intolerance key Liking all your out counter. requesting your right-
is a lie. nonchalant Instas.) ful extra drizzle.

R A M EL IKE W D RIN E YE
CA TI P NK RE D
EN OLE M
IT PI K
AP
P U CCI
N V H ILK H
W
FR O

FROZE N SKIPPY SQUEEZE HUBBA BUBBA YO O - H O O C H O CO L AT E C H I P

GO-GURT POUCH B U B B L E TA P E CHEWY BAR

You slay Excel and

Here’s the thing Like a tube of PB You’re committed to PowerPoint docs at Remember: *You* are
about you (and also protein straight to the being the most envi- work like you’re all the OG shareable
the only Frapp flavor mouth, you’re super able snacc in the jacked up on Choco- snack. You’re always
that matters): You’re efficient at conquering yard—and on the late Drink, but it’s lifting others up
consistently consis- any challenge that ’gram. Like, ordering actually just an aggres- (ahem, Oatmeal Rai-
tent and good as hell. comes your way off the secret menu sive fear of failure sin) at the cost of your
When you’re around, without making shit during rush hour com- (and, okay, caffeine— own happiness. We
the world breathes a more complicated. mitted. Hold it up high lots of caffeine). Will salute your chunky-
sigh of relief. Sorry, jar and spoon. for that perfect light! you pls take a day off? chip agenda.

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 21
you rowbac
Th k E
dition!

pdancer2283: “Yes, this xBlueEyedGurl1224x: “My neighbor came over

one day and we decided to go onto AIM together. When
was my username. I didn’t
she left, she forgot to log out of her account, so I used it
realize at the time how risqué
for about a month to try to convince the boy I had a crush
it sounded, but I promise that
on to like me back. It didn’t work.” — M O R G A N , 2 8
the ‘p’ did not stand for
‘pole’!” — P A T T Y , 2 4

Jaded_JC_xD:
“If my crush didn’t start a awsmlygorgeous05:
chat with me within five “My friend and I AIM’d her
minutes of logging on, super-hot stepbrother to ask
I would purposefully log what he wanted for dinner.
out and log back in to
make sure they saw that
I was online.” — J C , 2 6
Just a bunch Instead of spelling ‘that it?’
I accidentally typed ‘that tit’
and my sixth-grade self

mojojojo34: “One
time in sixth grade, I
of AIM was shooketh because I’d
inadvertently said ‘tit.’”
—MICHELLE, 25

asked the guy I liked who

he was into over AIM. He
said, ‘Why???’ and I
confessions
responded, ‘Sorry, my
sister sent that lol.’”
to make you
—M ARIAH, 25

burtonboarder777:
“One time over AIM, my
feel old
classmate said, ‘I like you.
Do you like me?’ I
responded, ‘Yes! I like
you!’ Then he said, ‘Lol, I’ll go first: My username
jk, I don’t,’ and signed off. was tator totcutie23— tnhorsegirl30: “In middle
My first real taste of rejec- school, I got into a huge fight
tion.” — S A R A H , 2 6
and yes, that’s “tater tot” with my BFF. But I didn’t know
spelled incorrectly. exactly how to use AIM, so
every time she messaged me,
By TAY LO R A N D R E WS
she got my Away message. It
was something super sassy like
‘Don’t call me, I’m busy, bye!’
and I couldn’t figure out how to
turn it off. She got really mad.
We weren’t friends after that.”
—S AVA N N A H , 2 6
xXsweetcheexX: “I used AIM to talk to
older men I catfished on Myspace. But when xoskating
they would message me thinking they were luver66xo: “I
talking to an 18-year-old skater girl whose used AIM to break
picture I found on Google, I’d be too scared up with my first
to respond. So I guess that makes me the boyfriend. He left
original ghoster?” — C H L O E , 2 9 an Away message
immediately after
B A C KG R O U N D : G E T T Y I M A G E S .

that said, ‘Don’t

u
talk to me.’” yo
m essage brought to
—K ATH ERIN E, 22 ay
w s.
A Hilar y Duff lyric
by

2 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020

Brief Summary
Paragard ('par-uh-gahrd) (intrauterine copper
contraceptive)
Paragard T380A intrauterine copper contraceptive is
used to prevent pregnancy. It does not protect against
HIV infection (AIDS) or other sexually transmitted
infections (STIs).
This information is not comprehensive. Please see the
full prescribing information at paragard.com for
additional information.
Read this Patient Information carefully before you
decide if Paragard is right for you.
This information does not take the place of talking with
your gynecologist or other healthcare provider who spe-
cializes in women’s health. If you have any questions
about Paragard, ask your healthcare provider. You
should also learn about other birth control methods to
choose the one that is best for you.
What is Paragard?
• Paragard is a copper-releasing system that is placed in
your uterus by your healthcare provider to prevent
pregnancy for up to 10 years.
• Paragard can be removed by your healthcare provider
at any time.
• Paragard does not contain any hormones.
• Paragard can be used whether or not you have given
birth to a child.
Paragard is a small, flexible plastic “T” shaped intra-
uterine system with copper wrapped around the stem
and placed on arms of the “T”. Two thin white threads
are attached to the stem (lower end) of Paragard. The
threads are the only part of Paragard you can feel when
Paragard is in your uterus; however, unlike a tampon
string, the threads do not extend outside of your body.
How does Paragard work?
Paragard works by preventing sperm from reaching the
egg, preventing sperm from fertilizing the egg, or pos-
sibly preventing attachment (implantation) in the uterus.
Paragard does not stop your ovaries from making an
egg (ovulating) each month.
How long can I keep Paragard in place?
You can keep Paragard in your uterus for up to 10 years.
After 10 years, you should have Paragard removed by
your healthcare provider. If you wish and if it is still right
for you, you may get a new Paragard during the same
visit.
How is Paragard placed in the uterus?
Paragard is placed in your uterus during an in-office
visit. First, your healthcare provider will examine your
pelvis to find the exact position of your uterus. Your
healthcare provider will then cleanse your vagina and
cervix with an antiseptic solution and then, measure
your uterus. Your healthcare provider will then slide a
plastic tube containing Paragard into your uterus. The
tube is removed, leaving Paragard inside your uterus.
Two white threads will extend into your vagina. The
threads are trimmed so they are just long enough for
you to feel with your fingers when doing a self-check.
As Paragard goes in, you may feel cramping or pinch-
ing. You may have some bleeding. Some women feel
faint, nauseated, or dizzy for a few minutes afterwards.
Your healthcare provider may ask you to lie down until
you are feeling better, and to get up slowly.
Who might use Paragard?
You might choose Paragard if you:
• want long-term birth control that provides a low
chance of getting pregnant (less than 1 in 100)
• want birth control that works continuously for up to
10 years
• want birth control that is reversible
• want a birth control method that you do not need to
take daily
• are willing to use a birth control method that is
inserted in the uterus
• want birth control that does not contain hormones
Who should not use Paragard?
Do not use Paragard if you:
• are or might be pregnant
• have a condition of the uterus that changes the shape
of the uterine cavity, such as large fibroid tumors
• have an untreated pelvic infection called pelvic inflam-
matory disease (PID) now
• have had an infection in your uterus after a pregnancy
or abortion in the past 3 months
• can get infections easily. For example, if you:
have problems with your immune system
have multiple sexual partners or your partner has
multiple sexual partners
use or abuse intravenous drugs
• have or suspect you might have cancer of the uterus
or cervix
• have unexplained bleeding from your vagina
• have an untreated lower genital infection now in your
cervix
• have Wilson’s disease (a disorder in how the body
handles copper)
• are allergic to copper, polyethylene, or barium sulfate
• have an intrauterine system in your uterus already
Before having Paragard placed, tell your healthcare
provider if you have:
• any of the conditions listed above
• slow heart beat (bradycardia)
• dizziness (syncope)
• seizures
• recently had a baby or if you are breastfeeding
• AIDS, HIV, or any other sexually transmitted infection
Should I check that Paragard is in place?
Yes, you should check that Paragard is in proper posi-
tion by feeling the threads. It is a good habit to do this
1 time a month. Your healthcare provider should teach
you how to check that Paragard is in place. First, wash
your hands with soap and water. You can check by
reaching up to the top of your vagina with clean fingers
to feel the 2 threads. Do not pull on the threads.
How soon after placement of Paragard should I return
to my healthcare provider?
Call your healthcare provider if you have any questions
or concerns (see “When should I call my healthcare pro-
vider?”). Otherwise you should return to your healthcare
provider for a follow-up visit after your first menses
after Paragard is placed to make sure that Paragard is in
the right position.
What if I become pregnant while using Paragard?
Call your healthcare provider right away if you think
you may be pregnant. If you get pregnant while using
Paragard, you may have an ectopic pregnancy. This
means the pregnancy is not in your uterus. Unusual
vaginal bleeding or abdominal pain especially with
missed periods may be a sign of ectopic pregnancy.
Ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency that often
requires surgery. Ectopic pregnancy can cause internal
bleeding, infertility and even death.
There are also risks if you get pregnant while using
Paragard and the pregnancy is in the uterus. Severe
infection, miscarriage, premature delivery, and even
death can occur with pregnancies that continue with an
intrauterine system (IUS). Because of this, your health-
care provider may try to remove Paragard, even though
removing it may cause a miscarriage. If Paragard cannot
be removed, talk with your healthcare provider about the
benefits and risks of continuing the pregnancy.
If you continue your pregnancy see your healthcare pro-
vider regularly. Call your healthcare provider right away
if you get flu-like symptoms, fever, chills, cramping,
pain, bleeding, vaginal discharge, or fluid leaking from
your vagina. These may be signs of infection.
It is not known if Paragard can cause long-term effects
on the fetus if it stays in place during a pregnancy.
How will Paragard change my periods?
Your period may become heavier and longer. You may
also have frequent spotting between periods.
Is it safe to breastfeed while using Paragard?
You may use Paragard when you are breastfeeding. The
risk of Paragard becoming attached to (embedded) or
going through the wall of the uterus is increased if
Paragard is placed while you are breastfeeding.
Will Paragard interfere with sexual intercourse?
You and your partner should not feel Paragard during
intercourse. Paragard is placed in the uterus, not in the
vagina. Sometimes your partner may feel the threads. If
this occurs, or if you or your partner experience pain
during sex, talk with your healthcare provider.
What are the possible side effects of Paragard?
Paragard can cause serious side effects, including:
• ectopic pregnancy and intrauterine pregnancy risks:
There are risks if you become pregnant while using
Paragard (see “What if I become pregnant while using
Paragard?”).
• life-threatening infection: Life-threatening infection
can occur within the first few days after Paragard is
placed. Call your healthcare provider immediately if
you develop severe pain or fever shortly after Paragard
is placed.
• pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or endometritis:
Some IUS users get a serious pelvic infection called
pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or endometritis. PID
and endometritis are usually sexually transmitted. You
have a higher chance of getting PID and endometritis if
you or your partner has sex with other partners. PID
and endometritis can cause serious problems such as
infertility, ectopic pregnancy, and pelvic pain that does
not go away. PID and endometritis are usually treated
with antibiotics. More serious cases of PID or endo-
metritis may require surgery. A hysterectomy (removal
of the uterus) is sometimes needed. In rare cases,
infections that start as PID can even cause death.
Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any
of these signs of PID or endometritis: low abdominal
(stomach area) or pelvic pain, pelvic tenderness, pain-
ful sex, unusual or bad smelling vaginal discharge,
chills, long-lasting or heavy bleeding, fever, genital
lesions or sores.
• embedment: Paragard may become attached to
(embedded) the wall of the uterus. This may make it
hard to remove Paragard. Surgery may sometimes be
needed to remove Paragard.
• perforation: Paragard may go through the wall of
the uterus. This is called perforation. If this occurs,
Paragard may no longer prevent pregnancy. If perfora-
tion occurs, Paragard may move outside the uterus
and cause internal scarring, infection, damage to other
organs, pain, or infertility and you may need surgery to
have Paragard removed. Excessive pain or vaginal
bleeding during placement of Paragard, pain or bleed-
ing that gets worse after placement, or not being able
to feel the threads may happen with perforation. You
are not protected from pregnancy if Paragard moves
outside the wall of the uterus. The risk of perforation is
increased in breastfeeding women.
• expulsion: Paragard may partially or completely fall
out of the uterus by itself. This is called expulsion.
Expulsion occurs in about 2 out of 100 women.
Excessive pain, vaginal bleeding during placement of
Paragard, pain that gets worse, bleeding after place-
ment, or not being able to feel the threads may happen
with expulsion. You are not protected from pregnancy
if Paragard is expelled.
• changes in bleeding: You may have heavier and
longer periods with spotting in between. Sometimes
the bleeding is heavier than usual at first. Call your
healthcare provider if the bleeding remains heavier or
longer and spotting continues.
• reactions after placement or removal: Some women
have had reactions such as dizziness (syncope),
slowed heart rate (bradycardia), or seizures, immedi-
ately after Paragard was placed or removed. This
happened especially in women who have had these
conditions before.
Common side effects of Paragard include:
• anemia (low red • expulsion (complete or partial)
blood cell count) • spotting
• pain during sex • painful periods
• prolonged periods • vaginal discharge
• vaginal irritation • pain and cramping
• backache
This is not a complete list of possible side effects with
Paragard. For more information, ask your healthcare
provider. Tell your healthcare provider about any side
effect that bothers you or does not go away.
Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects.
You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.
After Paragard has been placed, when should I call my
healthcare provider?
Call your healthcare provider if you have any concerns
about Paragard. Be sure to call if you:
• think you are pregnant
• have pelvic pain or pain during sex
• have unusual vaginal discharge or genital sores
• have unexplained fever, flu-like symptoms or chills
• might be exposed to sexually transmitted infections
(STIs)
• are concerned that Paragard may have been expelled
(came out)
• cannot feel Paragard’s threads or can feel the threads
are much longer
• can feel any other part of the Paragard besides the
threads
• become HIV positive or your partner becomes HIV
positive
• have severe bleeding that lasts a long time, or bleeding
that concerns you
• miss a menstrual period
To learn more, talk about Paragard with your healthcare
provider and see the FDA-approved Full Prescribing
Information found on paragard.com or call
CooperSurgical, Inc. at 1-877-PARAGARD (727-2427).
Paragard® is a registered trademark of CooperSurgical,
Inc. The other brands listed are trademarks of their
respective owners.
Manufactured by:
CooperSurgical, Inc.
Trumbull, CT 06611
US-PAR-1900199 (1)
 rowbac you
Th k E
dition!

COSMO
Q

L e t ’s r ev isit yo u r
c r in giest f irst s, sh all we?
TBH, “sweat y” accurately describes all of these.
By HANNAH CHAMBERS

Which beginner alcohol still D e s c r i b e yo u r

l ow - key s c a r e s yo u? first apartment in
H ow “g o o d ” wa s yo u r t wo wo r d s:
f i r s t t i m e h a v i n g s ex?

56
32% %
t e!
So cu
We both 30%
tried…. Don’t ask.

25% a ys
We i
r A l w c ke d
53% 18% dir t dly unl
o
y? 19%
Four Loko UV Blue
18%
20% I mean,
9%
is it ever
Pinnacle Mike’s Hard
8% “good”? W h a t wa s l i f e l i ke a f t e r
Whipped Lemonade 12%
Really, truly
yo u r f i r s t b r e a k u p?
Honestly, I
awesome!
wouldn’t
change it.
S o a b o u t yo u r 55% It was pretty standard
f i r s t c a r… Bridget Jones shit.

61%
LOL, I miss my aux cord. 33% My Facebook statuses
were tragique.
20%
I can’t talk about my
family’s minivan. Too
12% I’m still listening to
triggering.
Sam Smith. Not over it.

19%
’Twas the coolest car
in the lot.
O H, HE
Y
Follow W
us an
on n
Tw a w
it t ei
er gh
fo in
r ?
ou
rn
ex
t po
ll.
G E T T Y I M AGES.

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 25
you rowbac
Th k E
dition!

What your senior superlative

should’ve been,
according to this random equation we just made up
Put THAT in the yearbook. By SAM FEHER

t
HOW DID Mos
YOU l y to BLAKE
like
GET TO our L I V E LY
be y
SCHOOL? s
bos
Who among us does
not agree that the
high school year-
I was a
book committee “w a l ke r ”
was a corrupt bunch =
of cons? But now, …likely to appear
we’re serving justice: on Love Is Blind
Answer the prompts I skipped school
below and smash T h e b us, j u s t most days
those responses l i ke e v e r y b o d y =
together to e l s e! …likely to have a
= sandwich named
discover your true
…likely to get a after them
18-year-old identity.
cheap, sponta-
neous tattoo Tw e n t y
MILA
m i n u t e s l a t e,
KUNIS
Mom or Dad with a latte
d r ov e m e =
WHEN WAS
YOUR FIRST
= …likely to change
LIP TO LIP? …likely to go their name, move
viral on TikTok to a new country,
and start anew

My brain blocks
ON THE out traumatic W i t h my c o o l
P L AYG R O U N D m e m o r i e s? older friends
= = =

Least… …likely to drop …likely to marry

into the Kar- Mo
their skincare rou- st l
i
dashian family to m kely
MIDDLE OR HIGH tine when nobody arr
the y
asked them ir f
SCHOOL…AND I irst
kis
HAD BR ACES I came from s
sports practice
=
E v e r y. S i n g l e .
Most… D a y.
R ACH EL
= MC ADA MS

We …likely to
lco
“go vegan” for
m

a week
et

+
o

S P L A S H N E W S .C O M ( 3 ).
Co

m
s

o
Hig h!

y
likel
Most 5
ort 1
to sp
rent
diffe rs
colo
hair

2 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 A je d re s s, $725,
ajewo r l d.c o m.
A lighie ri e a r rin gs,
$50 0, a lighie ri.c o.u k.

P I T T M A N AT S E E M A N A G E M E N T U S I N G R+ C O. M A K E U P : C L A R A
K AT H R Y N W I R S I N G. FA S H I O N BY K I A G O O S BY. H A I R : N E A L

“I’d love for my shoulders to

look bigger” is something
I never thought I’d say. But
now these puffs are the only
R A E AT H O N E Y A R T I S T S F O R FA C E AT E L I E R .

thing I want to wear. They’re

just so fluffy and magical,
and they make me feel like
a gd boss. Can we make
“puffs are the new pantsuit”
happen? Turn the page to
see shop for yourself.

2 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
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 f ashion

L ove S h a c k Fan c y
t o p, $325, l ove
s h a c k f a n c y.c o m

Fo r L ove &
L e m o ns
d re s s,
$159, f o r
l ove an d
l e m o ns
.c o m
& Other
St o ries d re s s,
$149, st o rie s
.c o m. A nn a
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rin gs, $76,
anna - nin a.nl.
U l l a J o hns o n t o p,
$195, n o rdst ro m.c o m

B e rshka
t o p, $20,
b e rs hka.c o m
’S
H E R E
TH E TH I N G

There are so many

dif f leve ls o n t he of ficial
Puf f Sle eve S cale, so you
can g o subt le or re all y
pile o n t he p o of and still
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S l e e p e r d re s s,
$290, t h e -
s l e e p e r.c o m

B o o h o o.co m
t o p, $15,
us.b o o h o o.c o m
uffocated
ders

ot s
oul
en
sh
y ’r
ur o

the
e e e d o m ! ” —y
when
re e

Ce cilie
“F

B ahns e n
H o us e o f C B t o p, $105, t o p, $1,0 90,
h o us e o f c b.c o m matches
f ashio n.c o m

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 29
 f ashion

.
hx
r, t
ne

LOVIN’ THIS LIL AC

g
esi

A puff y pastel st yle

re d

is gonna look
d a

amaaaze with your

hea

spring whites.
es

COS, $69,
ey

c os st o re s.c o m
y
rm
de

n
g su
ba
The

B a gs yo u
can nap on
Sof t, but ter y pouches are ideal for
(a) looking cute and (b) grabbing
some quick hangover z z z’s.
By L AUREN ADHAV

JUST LIKE
G - M A’ S Q U I L T
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St u dio A m e lia, $ 420,
3 0 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020 st u dio ame lia.c o
 ©2020 Procter & Gamble

get your
on
f ashion

All the
t r e n ds yo u r m o m h a t es
f o r l i t e r a l l y n o r e as o n
In case you’d forgot ten that + S L E E V
E S
T S
S H O R
shopping together means
you’re a captive audience “If your arms are cold,
for her THOUGHTS. your legs are cold.”
—S a r a h, m o m o f s u p e r v i s i n g
By RACHEL TORGERSON producer Abbey Adkison

LO G
O M A
N I A

“I don’t like huge

B U C
brand names. You K E T
BAG
S
shouldn’t have to
be so blatant. Let “I’m not a
the design of your fan of these
clothes or handbags because I’m
do the talking.” afraid someone
—Leigh, mom of will swipe
associate fashion editor
Lauren Adhav Jaclyn’s wallet.”
—M a r ia, m o m o f
accessories market

S T R E E T S T Y L E ( 4 ): G E T T Y I M A G E S . D Ô E N D R E S S , $19 8, S H O P D O E N .C O M . LO U I S E E T C I E B A G, $ 3 0 0, LO U I S E E TC I E .C O M .
P R A
I R I E
ES
E SS
DR S
N T
T PA
H O
“I hate all those “I’m not trying to see
frumpy small- people in shorts with their
floral-print booties hanging out.”
peasant maxis.” —T i n a , m o m o f s h o p p i n g
—V i c k i e , m o m o f editor Alexis Bennett
editor-in-chief
Jess Pels

W E H E
YO U, A R
MOM S
...
M U S TA R But you *
D d id * ra is
us to be e
o p in io n a
ted
LOW (a n d t h is
Y E L is , li k e ,
f a s h u n ),
s o w e ’r e
re s p e c t f u gonna
“Adding gray to any primary ll y d is a g
Happy M re e .
color = a dirty color.” o t h e r’s D
t h o u g h— ay
we love y
o u!

3 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 Meet Julia
40% of women under 40 will experience hair loss.
Julia, a product manager from Massachusetts, is one of them.
We sat down for an honest convo about what it’s been like to
regrow her hair with Viviscal.

Q: Let’s talk hair! When was

yours at its best?
A: My hair was at its best in my 20s before I
color treated it and before I had kids. It was
long, healthy and beautiful.

Q: Tell us how you felt when it

started to thin.
A: It kind of felt like things were spinning out of control.
You want to feel beautiful and usually there’s something
you can do to change that, but hair loss feels like one of
those things you can’t control.

Q: What has reclaiming your

hair been like?
A: It’s been really exciting. A huge sense
of relief. I thought, “I’m going to look like
myself again! It’s going to be okay!”
I feel like it [my hair] is thicker and shinier.
Viviscal helped me become who I really am.

Real User | Age 33

Viviscal is a daily supplement that is clinically proven

to support hair growth. Learn more at Viviscal.com.
†‡

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†Existing hair growth ‡ Ablon, G.; Dermatol Res Pract., 2015. Real Viviscal user compensated for her appearance.
*Results may vary. With clinical studies, women using Viviscal experienced a reduction in shedding and an increased number of hairs after 3 months.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
f ashion

!
w
o
fn
hio n is dif
t fas
bu
c h r e s p e c t,
Mu

so why

h a v e n’t o u r s t y l e i c o n s? H O L M E S: B A C KG R I D U S A . D I O N : B A U E R G R I F F I N . A L L OT H E R S: G E T T Y I M A G E S ( 9 ).

Audrey, M arilyn, and Jackie have held

these spots for too long.

i
By L AUREN ADHAV

f you’re the moodboard type, I’m
willing to bet yours has this v famous
Marilyn quote on it: “Give a girl
the right shoes, and she can con-
quer the world.” The OGs knew how important
clothes were in crafting a public image, which
is even more true today (hi, my/your/everyone’s
personal brand). Problem is, they lived in a time
when there was only one narrow view of the
“ideal” kind of woman: white, petite, and “mod-
est yet sexy yet innocent” with big “domestic
bliss” vibes. Well thank god we’re in the 21st
century now, so let’s go ahead and anoint the
new fashion idols we all deserve.

3 4 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 Lizzo
2019
s h e’s w as h
g o n n e r Y E A R,
wit h ab an
s pic y e a m ain d
’f i t s l stay
i ke t h
is.
Haile
All h y Bie
a il (s ber
outer r y ) her
we ar struc
and t u re
s t re e p eerle d
t - st yl
e ga ss
m e.
Ya r a
Shah
S h e’s idi
only
got s 2 0, b
eri ut sh
Ens e o us t a s t e e’s
mble . E ve
! I s!
Fl a w r y!
l e s s!

Card
Fr o m iB
ar
d re s s c hiva l M
ugler
t we e e s t o t we
d, s h ed o
e we n
ars it
a l l.
Ka t i e
Holm
Pre t t
y sur es
goog e millio
led “ ns of
af ter cas pp
t his v hm e re b r l
ira l m a”
omen
t.
Harr
y St y
Yo u’r
e l yin les
if yo g t o
u hav yo u r
e se
f a s h u n’ t P i n n e d l f
n alr
e a d y his
.
Billy
Por t e
We a r
ll da
as bi re t o
g as dr
Bill y ’ e am
carp s re d
et st y -
l e.

Celin
e Dio
Just d
re s si n
b l ow n g up
n live or fu
manc ll -
e? D a r t p e r f o
oes i r-
t mat
t e r?

not wor t hy.)

(She’s t he o nl y

royalt y. We are
b c she’s f ashio n
o n e sit ting d ow n

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n
35
 f ashion

EFF DO I WEAR
THE TH
OW A
IN’ T?
ROLL
H

UP TO
BRUNCH
LIKE
Boxers, but not D A T E -NIG
HT

for bedtime
VIBE

Take this style

from bed to buffet Bring all the comfort
by throwing on a Relaxed - fit shor ts are gonna be the theme of your spring. of home with you on
knit cardi, classic a romantic evening
loafers, and a By L AUREN ADHAV out—just swap out
crossbody. We your old sorority tee
love to see that and slippers for a
minimal effort! ruffled top and
standout sandals.
On EUNICE
BRUNO, On DANIELLE FLUM,
accessories associate fashion editor,
assistant, @DanielleFlum
@EuniceYvane

M
DROO
BOAR
BABE

THE

K AT H R Y N W I R S I N G. FA S H I O N BY K I A G O O S BY. H A I R : N E A L P I T T M A N AT S E E M A N A G E M E N T
Trust me on this. If ARTSY O
your job’s not in a NE
v, v corporate set-
ting, silky boxers +
Show off your ~cre-
blazer + heels = a
ative personality~
U S I N G R+ C O. M A K E U P : C L A R A R A E F O R FA C E AT E L I E R AT H O N E Y A R T I S T S .

bomb choice.
with a bunch of pat-
terns and bold
hues—embrace
that fashionable art
teacher energy.
On K AR A MILLER,
designer,
@Kara_ Millz

On Eunice:
earrings, $110, lauratlombardi.com. BaubleBar necklace, $42, baublebar.com. Mondo Mondo ring, $150, mondo-mondo.com. Poolside clutch, $250, weare
poolside.com. On Jaclyn: Camilla and Marc jacket, $750, camillaandmarc.com. AMO tank, $79, amodenim.com. R13 shorts, price upon request. Aquazzura heels,
$1,350, net-a-porter.com. Mounser earrings, $175 (left) and $125 (right), mounser.com. Staud bag, $295, staud.clothing. On Kara: Kate Spade New York cardigan,
$298, katespade.com. DTF.NYC T-shirt, $45, dtf.nyc. Sleepy Jones shorts, $34, sleepyjones.com. By Far sandals, $520, byfar.com. Aureum Collective necklace,
$148, aureumcollective.com. Lizzie Fortunato cuff, $150, lizziefortunato.com. Anna + Nina ring, $100, anna-nina.nl. Behno bag, $525, behno.com. On Danielle:
Zara top, $50, zara.com. L.F.Markey shorts, $80, usa.lfmarkey.com. Frame sandals, $395, frame-store.com. Otiumberg pearl earrings, $186, otiumberg.com.
Stone and Strand pearl huggies, $295, ring (left), $295, stoneandstrand.com. Bonvo ring (right), $102, bonvojewelry.com. Elleme bag, $415, bloomingdales.com.

3 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
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f ashion

This is the out fit that gets me

the most compliments
Whitney Por t breaks down her go - to lewk (with a surprise t wist!).
As told to RACHEL TORGERSON

T H E PA N T S
1
I love the idea of
THE JEWELRY splitting these up
and wearing the
Little secret: This is
1 trousers with a
two versions of the
white tee and
same necklace,
black leather moto
worn at different
jacket and the
lengths—one
blazer with jeans.
choker level, the
Versatility is what
2 other at the collar.
makes suits so
I think the metal
great—both pieces
helps funk up the
go with everything.
overall vibe.
This one’s neutral
Whit ney ’s ow n color is what actu-
necklaces
ally gets me the
most compliments,
2 btw. My sisters told
me yesterday,
THE JACKET “We need this!”
Wear a suit and
L ove, Whit suit p ant s,
3 people think
a vail ab l e a t Re nt t h e
“work.” That’s why Runwa y
it’s important for
this tuxedo-style
5
option to be box-
ier. It makes it more THE BOOTS
fashion, less stuffy.
When you’re wear-
The lighter mate-
ing something
rial also helps.
light, I love the
L ove, Whit suit idea of hardening
4 O h, t his?
ja c ket, a vail ab l e a t it up with some-
Re nt t he Runwa y
I t ’s a r e n t a l. thing more chunky
*h a ir f li p* on the bottom.
3 The obvious shoe
here would be a
THE BAG strappy sandal or
Adding texture is a kitten heel.
key, so the faux The cowboy boot
5 croc on this bucket makes you do a
design is why I double take.
picked up this guy.
Andre a Wazen b o ot s
(It’s also super
easy to just stick
my hands in and
A b o ut t h at t w ist…
grab whatever I
need at any
NBD, but we’re exclusively revealing that *you* can easily get this exact
moment.) And I’m
’fit, then wait for your own compliments to roll in. It’s part of the Love, Whit very into the very
N I C K WA L K E R .

collection, Whitney’s new collab with Rent the Runway that launches April long strap.
22. Subscribe to RTR’s unlimited plan or just borrow it as a one-off. Et voilà!
M ansur Ga v riel
b u c ke t b a g

3 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
TO FIND A GREAT CANDIDATE,
GIVE TRADITIONAL HIRING
PRACTICES THE DAY OFF.

LEARN HOW TO FIND, TRAIN AND CULTIVATE

A GREAT POOL OF UNTAPPED TALENT.
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H O LY
GRAIL

Beauty
Awards
2020

We tested,
we swatched,
we argued. Behold:
10 0 new holy- grail
products Cosmo’s
editors really, really
want you to tr y.

4 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 TODAY’S FORECAST:
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Clinically proven to lock in hydration
with Hyaluronic Acid.
Skin so supple and hydrated,
it bounces back.

© J&JCI 2019
b e aut y

tools splurg e-
wor t hy
tim e-
sa ve r
skin-
c le aring
e asy t o
use

1 2 3

L o l, by e e e,
a c n e!

2 4 6
1 Best lash curler 3 Best teeth 5 Best
Best “ Tu r n it o n, pic k Best t weezers whitener Best hair curling iron
cleansing brush high o r l ow h e a t, “( A ) T h e s e a re p re t t y “ We a rin g t h e s e dr yer “ T h e c e ramic iro n
t h e n s l ow l y w rig gl e e n o u gh t o ke e p o u t mint y Whit e st rips give s o f f s o f t h e a t
“ T his b b s c r u bs m e “ T his is f re a kin g
it t hro u gh yo u r o n dis p l a y, an d an d bin g e - wa t c hin g f o r l o os e r c u r ls
s o c l e an wit h o u t FAS T. I c an lit e ra ll y
l as h e s an d g e t a ( B) t h ey h a ve a t r u e c rim e o n N e t f lix an d l e s s d am a g e.
ir rit a t in g my f a c e.” b l ow - d r y my h air
c u r l t h a t h o l ds u p p re cis e, s l ant e d t ip is h o n e st l y my p e a k I t b asic a ll y m a ke s
—L AUREN in 7 minu t e s...
all d a y.” t h a t m a ke s gra b bin g S a t u rd a y night.” d e st roy in g yo u r
B A L S A M O , s e nio r id e a l b e c a us e I hit
—CHLOE it t y - bit t y h airs N B D.” —A M A K WA R T E N G, s n o oz e 15 t im e s a h air—o r g e t t in g
b e aut y e dit o r
M E T Z G E R , s e nio r b e aut y assist ant m o r nin g.” — R B s a us a g e c u r ls—wa y,
—RU BY
b e aut y e dit o r wa y h a rd e r.” — C M
BUDDEMEYER,
Cl ariso nic M ia b e aut y e dit o r
S m a r t, $19 9, A c n e Cr est 3D Whit e st rips G H D H e lios
G r an d e Cosm etics Wit h A rc t ic M int, Pro f e s sio n a l H air K rist in Ess 1- I n c h
Cl e ansin g B r us h
G ran d e L as h - Lif t $ 4 5, c re st w hit e D r ye r, $249, Ce ramic Cu r lin g
H e a d, $29, Tweezerman
H e a t e d L as h Cu r l e r, s mil e.c o m s e p h o ra.c o m I ro n, $50, Ta rg e t
c l a ris o nic.c o m Rose Gold Point
$25, u l t a.c o m Tweezer, $24,
tweezerman.com

4 4 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
b e aut y

body glow-
getter
g o o d f or all
skin t y p e s
dr ugst ore
gem
b e st
sm e lle r

1 2 3 4

Not ice
cr
e a
m

ju
…
st
so
me
gorge b
o

Best
dy

self-tanner
sc
ru
b.
“I st ill g e t l ow -
key n e r vo us w h e n
I give mys e l f a
D IY t an, b u t t his
air y, light weight
m o us s e m a ke s it
s o e asy.” — R B

6 7
S o l by J e r g e ns
S u nl e s s Tannin g
Wa t e r M o us s e,
$20, d r u gst o re s

2 4 6
1 Best natural 3 Best body 5 Best 7

Best body deodorant Best body SPF scrub Best body antiperspirant Best body
wash “E ve r y o t h e r o n e “One whiff of this “I ’m t h e q u e e n o f m a ke u p “ Ye s, it s t o p s moisturizer
“ T his is n’t yo u r I ’ve t rie d m a ke s coconutty SPF K P (a ka b umpy “ T h e vira l pic s B.O., b u t it a ls o “N o t o nl y did my
b asic b o d y was h, my pit s it c h. T his takes me back to a r ms), a n d d o n’t lie. T h e l e a ve s my a r mpit s limbs n o t stic k t o
p p l. I t is inf us e d o n e’s d e sign e d high school, but n o t hin g h as eve r b o d y f o un d a - wit h a ~h e a ve nl y~ my sh e e t s wit h
w i t h f ir min g f o r s e nsit ive the formula is so m a d e a d e nt in t io n c ove rs veins, l a ve n d e r s c e nt t his l o t io n, b u t
c o ll a g e n an d u n d e ra r ms— far from outdated. my re dn e s s o r b r uis e s, an d s c a rs t h a t st a ys wit h m e my s e nsit ive s kin
l e a ve s my s kin an d it a c t u a ll y It dries matte and ro u ghn e s s like t o give s kin a t hro u gh o u t t h e was s o f t e r an d
f e e lin g s o f t an d wo r ks.” — L B feels smooth.” — R B t his 10 p e rc e nt b lu r re d, d o ll - like d a y.” — R B s m o o t h e r t o o.”
gl yc o lic an d l a c t ic
G R A C E L E E R I N G.

p lump.” — A K f inis h.” — C M —CM

a cid s c r u b.” — C M
S c hmidt ’s Ros e H a waiian Tr o pic S e c r e t Wit h Es s e n -
O l a y Pre mium + B l a c k Pe p p e r M a t t e Ef f e c t K K W B e aut y S kin ti a l Oil s L a ve n d e r Cet ap hil Re st o rin g
B o d y Was h Wit h N a t u ra l D e o d o r- S uns c re e n L o t io n First Aid B e aut y Pe r f e c t in g B o d y + Eu c a l y p t us, $12, L o t io n Wit h A nt i -
Co ll a g e n, $8, a n t, $8, Ta rg e t S PF 30, $10, K P B ump Eras e r Fo un d a t io n, $ 4 5, Ta rg e t oxid ant s, $20,
d r u gs t o re s d r u gs t o re s B o d y S c r u b, $26, k k w b e a u t y.c o m d r u gs t o re s
s e p h o ra.c o m

4 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
b e aut y

1 2 3 4

6 7

B R E N T N E A L E R I N G ( L E F T H A N D A N D R I G H T R I N G F I N G E R ). Y I C O L L E C T I O N R I N G S ( P I N K I E F I N G E R ).
*p r e t e n d s
to be
w o r k in g,
adds all to
c a r t*

2 4 6
1 Best bright 3 Best dew y 5 Best concealer 7

Best eye- lipstick Best bronzer foundation Best blush “A n o t h e r ‘ Wait, Best brow
shadow palet te “I am h e re f o r a “ T his p owd e r “ Tr u e st o r y: “H ow t o t e ll if yo u’re we a rin g pencil
vib rant re d t h a t f o r mul a give S o m e o n e a c t u a ll y yo u’re we a rin g m a ke u p?? ’ win -
“I t inst ant l y M a rie “ T his s kinny -
glid e s o n wit h o u t m e a Ze n d a ya - c a ll e d my s kin a b a d b lush: I t n e r. S u c h a g o o d,
Ko n d o’d my t ip p e n c il l e t s
s kip pin g o r g e t t in g wo r t hy gl ow. I ‘ra diant ’ w hil e I l o o ks like yo u’re su p e r- s e c re t s e c re t
m a ke u p b a g w it h yo u d ra w re all y
p a t c hy an d f e e ls l ove h ow b u t t e r y was we a rin g t his we a rin g b l us h. c ove r- u p t h a t it ’s
12 s h a d e s, e n o u gh t iny a n d p re cis e
like wo n d e r f u l it f e e ls w h e n I f o un d a t io n.” — C M T his o n e l o o ks like a l m o s t s c a m - y (t h e
to do four com- h airs t o b e e f
n o t hin gn e s s o n yo u r swe e p it ove r s k in.” — C M high e st p rais e!).”
p l e t e l y dif f e re nt u p s p a rs e, M I A
m o u t h.” — A K my n os e an d —A K
l ew ks.” — A K M a y b e llin e N ew b rows wit h o u t
c h e e k b o n e s.” l o o kin g h a rsh o r
Yo rk D re am B ar e M in e r als
—RB Dio r Fo reve r S kin o bvio us.” — C M
Ch ar l ot t e Tilbur y Gucci Ro u g e à Ra diant H yd ra t in g B o un c e an d B lu r
L èv re s S a t in Fo un d a t io n, $13, B lush in Pink S k y, Co r re c t, $36,
I nst ant E ye Pa l e t t e
in Ea die S c a r l e t, Rev l o n S kin Light s d r u gs t o re s $29, b a re dio r.c o m
in Pill ow Ta lk, Rev it al ash Hi - D e f
$75, s e p h o ra.c o m $ 42, s a k s.c o m Prism a tic min e ra ls.c o m B row Pe n cil, $30,
B ro n ze r, $12, revit a l as h.c o m
rev l o n.c o m

4 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 The New Fragrance
COACH DREAMS Live Yours
 The New Fragrance
COACH DREAMS Live Yours

AVAILABLE AT MACY’S, MACYS.COM AND COACH BOUTIQUES

 splurg e- long- glow- c l e an dr u gst o re inc lusive
wor t hy lasting getter gem sha d e
rang e

8 9

Best powder
foundation
“I f yo u’ve b e e n
b e t ra ye d by f u ll -
c ove ra g e p owd e rs
in t h e p ast,
t his n o n - c a key
p re s s e d o n e will
f i x yo u r t r ust
is su e s.” — A K

Bit e B e aut y
Ch an g e m a ke r
Fl exib l e Cove ra g e 10 11
Pre s s e d Powd e r,
$36, s e p h o ra.c o m

12 13

Best neutral
lipstick
“Ea c h o f t h e s e
28 s h a d e s is
d e sign e d t o f l a t -
t e r a s p e cif ic s kin
c o l o r. Fin d yo u rs o n
Cliniq u e’s we bsit e
a n d b o o m—a n u d e
t h a t wo n’t m a ke
yo u l o o k like a
c o r ps e.” — C M

14
Cliniqu e E ve n
B e t t e r Po p Lip
Co l o u r Fo un d a t io n,
$19. 50,
c liniq u e.c o m

9 11 13
8 Best brow gel 10 Best lip gloss 12 Best tinted 14

Best “ T his lil gu y Best matte “U l t ra s hiny? Best eyeliner moisturizer Best mascara
highlighter q uic k l y give s foundation Ch e c k. “‘Ko hl’ is usu a ll y “ Wh e n I p u t t his “N o t kid din g, t his
my b rows t h e Light weight ? just an o t h e r o n, my f a c e f e l t m a s c a ra m a ke s
“My m a ke u p “ T h e c re amy f o r-
id e a l am o unt Ch e c k. N o n - n a m e f o r ‘s lid e s t h e s am e kin d o f m e l o o k like I ’m
m o t t o is t h e mu l a wo r ks f o r my
o f t hic k n e s s t a c k y? Ch e c k. a ro u n d.’ B u t s o f t an d d ew y as we a rin g a s e t o f
gl owie r t h e b e t t e r. t e m p e ra m e nt a l
and tint.” — L B T his gl o s s is a l l t his p e n cil is it d o e s a f t e r usin g wid e - eye f a ke
Whic h is w hy s k in—it glid e s o n
t h e t hin gs t h anks c ra z y - c o o l: I t ’s my m ost hyd ra t in g l as h e s. B u t unlike
I ’m p ra c t ic a ll y s m o o t hl y, g e nu -
t o hya lu ro nic s mu d g e a b l e f a c e l o t io n.” — L B f a lsie s, it ’s n o t a
b a t hin g mys e l f Sephora in e l y st a ys p u t,
a cid an d f o r a p p rox t wo p ain t o a p p l y o r
in t his luminizin g Co ll e c t io n B row an d d o e s n’t d r y
p e p t id e s.” — R B minu t e s, t h e n it re m ove.” — C M
stic k.” — L B M as c a ra, $12, m e o u t d u r in g t h e Est é e L au d e r
s e p h o ra.c o m d a y.” — R B s e t s f o r h o u rs.”
Fu t u rist H yd ra
Kos as We t Lip Oil —CM
Physicians Re s c u e M oist u riz- L’O r é al Paris
G l os s in Dip, $27, in g M a ke u p, $ 4 5, B ambi E ye M as -
Fo r mul a O rg anic Ch an e l U l t ra L e
s e p h o ra.c o m Cove r gir l e st e e l a u d e r.c o m c a ra in B l a c k,
We a r D ew y Teint Ve l ve t, $50,
Highlight e r, $12, c h a n e l.c o m E x hibit io nist 24H R $10, d r u gst o re s
Ulta Ko hl E ye lin e r, $8,
Ta rg e t

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 49
 ADVERTISEMENT
Bon us poi nts
for fin din g you r
sun and mo on
sig n to mix and
ma tch sha des .
Hey girl, you’re looking starry-eyed
What’s your signature eye makeup look? Astrologer Jake Register is revealing your star shade of L’Oréal Paris Brilliant Eyes.
aries
The buildable liquid formula is super easy to apply and coats your lids in brilliant shimmer.
Aries always makes a
statement, a leader who’s
eager to try new things. Bold
Radiant Ruby with its fiery
tone is your vibe.
leo
Crown Gold with its golden
shimmer is perfect for Leos,
golden goddesses ruled by the
sun. You are radiant, and this
shade is sure to turn heads.
sagittarius
Precious Lava evokes a
tropical sunset with its deep
copper tone, perfect for
Sagittarius—the traveler of
the zodiac.
taurus
You have your feet firmly
planted on the ground. The
earthy tone of Bronze Light
will bring out your inner
practical goddess.
virgo
Amber Sparkle is totally a
Virgo’s vibe. Its warm autumnal
tones are reminiscent of
those early fall days when the
sky’s full of golden sparkle.
capricorn
Caps, you mean business, so
Royal Onyx with its deep
brown and gold shimmer
is a must, perfect for this
cardinal earth sign.
gemini
You have that special twinkle
in your eye, so light, shimmery
Diamond Drop is for you.
Curious and playful, you
sparkle in social settings.
libra
Libra, ruled by Venus, planet of
beauty, craves sweet and
simple looks and Crystal Shine
will give you just that with its
subtle and glistening shimmer.
aquarius
Aquarius is known as the
friendliest sign and the sweet
bright Blush Jewel stands
out among the other neutral
tones—just. like. you.
cancer
Cancer is ruled by the moon,
so String of Pearls, with its
holographic, dynamic tone,
can be a sparkly way to zhuzh
up your look.
scorpio
You may seem like a wallflower,
but your inner circle knows
your power. Rose Gem is the
perfect classic nude that is
anything but simple.
pisces
Pisces tend to be intuitive
and thoughtful, so Amethyst
Quartz, with its ~dreamy~
purple tones, will express
your inner brilliance.
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b e aut y

e asy t o c l e an dr u gst o re IG -
use gem wor t hy

Wa it, d o e s a ny o n e
know what
happened to the 2
f r i e s t h o??

Y I C O L L E C T I O N R I N G ( I N D E X F I N G E R ). M E L I S S A J OY M A N N I N G R I N G S ( R I N G F I N G E R ). M O C I U N B R A C E L E T.
4 5 6

1 Best nail-care
B e s t p r e s s- o n s
“I q uit my $30
m a ni h a bit m o n t hs
a g o, an d n ow
yo u’ll c a t c h m e
o nl y we a rin g t h e s e.
T h ey f it my n ail
b e ds p e r f e c t l y,
so no one can tell
t h ey ’re f a ke s.”
—A K
I m Pr ess Pre s s - O n
M anic u re Wit h
U l t ra Fit D e sign,
$8, u l t a.c o m
2 4
kit
“LO L, my n ail sit c h
b e f o re t his was a
s a d p l astic b a g.
B u t t his kit wo u l d
b e an u p gra d e
f o r a nyo n e, w it h
a su p e r- shiny t o p
c o a t, a d u a l - sid e d
T his l a s t s m e a s o lid
f il e, an d a c u t ic l e -
oil p e n.” — C M
O li ve & J un e T h e
K .I.T., $26, o li ve
a n dju n e.c o m
6
3 Best fast-dr y 5 Best remover
Best natural nail polish Best nail “ Yo u k n ow h ow
nail polish “I f re a ke d w h e n s t i c ke r s yo u r n ails a l wa ys
I f irst t rie d t his f e e l ann oy in gl y
“ Ye s, ve g an, p l ant - “ T h e s e g e l - like
p o lish. I t lit e ra l l y d r y an d c h a lk y
b as e d p o lis h is a stic kie s are a
d rie d in 56 s e c o n ds a f t e r yo u t a ke
t hin g—an d gu e s s g e nius wa y t o g e t
( I t im e d it). I o f f yo u r p o lis h?
w h a t ? I t ’s just d o p e n ail a r t if
exc lusive l y d o my Ye ah t h a t d o e sn’t
as go o d as t h e yo u’re st ra p p e d
n ails b e f o re b e d h a p p e n wit h t his
c o nve n t io n a l k in d. f o r tim e, t h e wo rst
n ow, t y v m.” — C M vit amin - E- inf us e d
a t d oin g yo u r ow n
g e l re m ove r.” — L B
f i ve d a ys w it h o u t n ails, o r a l m o s t
c hips.” — L B b ro ke.” — R B
E x p r essie by
Essie in E x p re s s Cut ex S p o t - O n J e ll y
t o I mp re s s, $9, Re m ove r, $ 4,
S all y H ans e n M ani M e N ail
d r u gs t o re s a m a zo n.c o m
G o o d. Kin d. Pu re. S t ic ke rs, $25 f o r 7
in M e t e o rit e, $9, d e signs, m anim e.c o
Ta rg e t

5 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
With 5 curve-sensing blades to help make
shaving problems a thing of the past.

THE SHAVE
WE ALL
DESERVE
b e aut y

Best air-dr y
cream
“I r un a sm all
amo unt t hro u gh my
d amp st rands, air-
d r y, an d...t h a t ’s
it. A+ h air d a y, n o
h e a t n e e d e d.” — L B

2 O GX S t re n g t h &
Length + Golden
Tu r m e ric Air
D r y Cre am, $9,
d r u gs t o re s

3 4

Best rinse-out
treatment
“Fe a r n o t, f in e - h aire d
f rie n ds—t his silic o n e -
f re e re p airin g
m a s k is *a c t u a l l y*
weight l e s s. I t rins e s
c l e an an d l e a ve s h air
wa a a y h e a l t hie r (b u t
d e f n o t h e a vie r).”

M E L I S S A J OY M A N N I N G R I N G ( I N D E X F I N G E R ). M O C I U N R I N G S ( R I N G F I N G E R ). J E N N I F E R F I S H E R B R A C E L E T S .
—LB

5 6
Li v in g Pr o o f Pe r f e c t
H air D a y Weight l e s s
M as k, $38, livin g
p ro o f.c o m

1 Best leave-in
Best texturizer
“B e c a us e a dip in
t h e o c e an is n’t a
re a list ic wa y t o g e t
b e a c h h air o n a
M o n d a y m o r nin g,
I us e t his s p ra y t o
c re a t e s a l t y, s e c o n d -
d a y t ex t u re.” — L B
S ex y H air B e a c h n’
S p ra y Tex t u rizin g
B e a c h S p ra y, $19,
u l t a.c o m
2 4
treatment
“ T his 3 - in -1 l o tio n
s o o t h e s yo u r s c a l p,
m oist u rize s yo u r
e n ds, an d g e nt l y
d e t an gl e s. D o e sn’t
g e t any e asie r t h an
t h a t, f o l ks.” — R B
S h e a M oist ur e Lush
L e n g t h Lit e L e a ve - I n,
$10, Ta rg e t
3 Best braid cream
Best shampoo
and conditioner
for natural hair
“H o t t ip: T his d u o
is t h e f irst st e p t o
g e t tin g b o un c y,
h a p py, a n d h e a l t hy
c u r ls.” — A K
Em e r g e I t ’s K n o t
H a p p e nin g S u l f a t e -
Fre e S h a m p o o a n d
S m o o t h M ove r
Co n ditio n e r, $7
e a c h, Ta rg e t
“I ’d c o mp are f in d -
in g t h e p e r f e c t b raid
c re am (a ka t his o n e)
t o w h e n yo u wa ke u p
b e f o re yo u r a l a r m
an d re a lize t h a t yo u
c an g o b a c k t o sl e e p
f o r t wo m o re h o u rs.
I t ’s a we s o m e.” — A K
Pant e n e G o l d
S e rie s Trip l e Ca re
B raid Cre am, $8,
d r u gs t o re s
5 Best scalp
Best volumizer
“ Yo u g u ys, t his
vo lumizin g f o am
m a d e my f l a t - as -
h e l l h air t hre e
in c h e s t a ll a t
t h e ro o t s (it was
a m a zin g, a n d I
h a ve a b o u t 10 0
dif f e re nt s e l f ie s t o
p rove it).” — C M
J o hn Frie d a Air-
Whip p e d Fo am,
$8, U l t a
6
shampoo and
conditioner
“I f yo u r s c a lp d o e s n’t
h a ve a s k in c a re
ro u tin e, W T H a re yo u
eve n d oin g? ” — R B
Ro ot e d Rit u als Ginger
Root and Charcoal
Clarifying Shampoo
and Ginger Root +
Aloe Silicone-Free
Conditioner, $10
each, walmart.c o m

5 4 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 g o o d f or g o o d f or g o o d f or tim e- dr ugst ore damage
curls and all hair color- sa ve r gem e rase r
c oils t ypes tre at e d hair

Brush
e s:
th
e
be
st
wa

8
yt
odi
sg
ui

e
s

a
dy
ing
p l a n t.

9 10 11 12

7 Best shampoo
Best hair-loss
treatment
“I f yo u’re like m e
a n d a n u n n e r vin g
am o unt o f h air f a lls
f ro m yo u r h e a d
eve r y t im e yo u t a ke
a b r us h t o it, t his
st re n g t h e nin g s e r um
is f o r yo u.” — L B
Ké r ast as e
G e n e sis S é r um
Fo r t if ant, $51,
ke rast as e - us a.c o m
8 10
and conditioner
for damaged
hair
“My highlight e d,
b l e a c h e d st ran ds
h a ve b asic a l l y b e e n
re b o r n sin c e I st a r t e d
usin g t his s e t.” — R B
M aui M oist ur e Fo r-
t if y in g a n d H e m p
S e e d Oil S h amp o o
a n d Co n dit io n e r, $9
e a c h, d r u gst o re s
12
9 Best shampoo 11 Best dr y
Best curl and conditioner Best shine shampoo
treatment for fine hair cream “M o s t d r y s h a m p o os
“ W h e n my h air is “ T h e p e r f e c t d ail y “My f riz z y h air a re e it h e r t o o
d e s p e ra t e f o r m e shampoo and live s f o r t his p owd e r y o r t o o
t o st o p wit h t h e c o n dit io n e r f o r f in e, c re am. I t s m o o t hs stic k y o r t o o…
h e a t t o o ls, t his t hin h air t h a t n e e ds an d s o f t e ns n o t hin g? B u t t his o n e
n o u ris hin g m a s k is d e gre asin g an d light wit h o u t l e a vin g s o a ke d u p my t hird -
my s a vio r.” — A K hyd ra tio n.” — L B b e hin d an oil y d a y gre as e like a
m e s s.” — L B c h amp.” — C M
D ove A mp lif ie d TRES e m m é Pro
Tex t u re s M oist u re Pu re Light M oist u re Aussie G l os s O ve r G ar nie r Fr u c t is
S p a Re c ove r y Shampoo and G l os sin g Cre am, I nvisib l e D r y
M as k, $7, Ta rg e t Co n ditio n e r, $5 $5, d r u gst o re s S h amp o o Tro pic al
e a c h, d r u gst o re s Co c o Co l a d a, $6,
Ta rg e t

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 55
 b e aut y

good
f or dr y
skin

1 2

3 4 I pref
er
m

y
se
rum
s s h a k e n,
no
t
st
ir r
ed
.

6 7

om.
o li ta n .c
Cosmop

2 4 6
1 Best scalp 3 Best eye 5 Best retinol 7

Best ever yday scrub Best face oil cream Best face “ Wa nn a k n ow Best mask
face wash “A f t e r b l astin g “I just p a t a “A mul tit as ke r wipe s o m e t hin g “ W h e n my s k in
my h air wit h d r y c o u p l e o f d ro ps t h a t d o e s l e git a m a zin g? T his n e e ds a f a cia l
“ T h e o nl y “ T h e s e re q uire
sh amp o o f o r a int o my s kin eve r y t hin g is t h e f irst—an d a t a f an c y - as s
c l e ans e r t h a t ZERO r u b bin g
we e k st raight, my and t h anks (b right e n, s o f t e n, o nl y—re t in o l I ’ve s p a a n d my b an k
c a n c o nvin c e t o g e t t h e jo b
s c a lp is b e g gin g t o b lu r rin g s m o o t h) yo u c o u l d eve r us e d t h a t a c c o unt n e e ds m e
m e t o, yo u d o n e. B l e s s
f o r f ive minu t e s pigm e nt s an d eve r want an eye d o e sn’t m a ke t o g e t a grip, I
k n ow, a c t u a ll y yo u, mic e ll a r
wit h t his ex f o lia - p l ant - b as e d c re am t o d o.” my s kin a f l a k y us e t his f a c e m as k
was h a f t e r t hre e wa t e r an d
t o r.” — A K oils, I l o o k like —A K m e s s. T h a t ’s it. f o r a c h e a p—
gl as s e s of win e.” ros ewa t e r
a d ew y an g e l.” T h e e n d.” — L B b u t e f f e c t ive—
—LB ex t ra c t.” — A K
A N I TA KO R I N G.

—A K a l t e r n a tive.” — R B
H e a d & S h o ul d e rs Eight e e n B Pro t ein
S u p re m e E x f o lia t - D e f e n d + N o u rish O l a y Re t in o l24
H o liFr o g S u p e rio r Po n d ’s Vit amin
in g S c alp S c r u b, G l ossie r E ye Cre am, $85, Night S e r um, Ave e n o O a t M as k
O m e g a N u t ritive M ic e ll a r Wip e s
$10, d r u gst o re s Fu t u re d ew, $24, eight e e nb.c o m $29, d r u gst o re s Wit h Cu c u mb e r
G e l Wash, $36, B right e n, $6,
h o lif ro g.c o m gl os sie r.c o m d r u gs t o re s E x t ra c t, $10, C VS

5 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
b e aut y

good g o o d f or g o o d f or c l e an dr u gst o re g o o d f or
f or dr y acne- se nsitive gem dull skin
skin prone skin skin

8 9 10 11

12

Best face SPF

“Fin all y, a n o n -
c h a l k y, n o n -
w hit e nin g min e ra l
suns c re e n t h a t
d o e sn’t pill un d e r
m a ke u p o r m a ke
m e b re a k o u t. Can
I g e t an ‘A m e n!’? ”
—L B

K inship S e l f
Re f l e c t Pro bio tic
M oist u rizin g
S u ns c re e n, $25,
l ove kins hip.c o m

13 14

9 11 13
8 Best acne 10 Best at-home 12 Best brighten- 14

Best night treatment Best face peel Best pimple ing serum Best day
cream “I ’ve b e e n usin g scrub “ T h e dif f e re n c e patch “I t s h e ro in gre - cream
“My f a ve t hin g t his a d a p al e n e g e l “D e t oxif yin g in my s kin a f t e r “B e sid e s t h e f a c t die nt is n e o glu - “I c an’t s a y
a b o u t t his p l u m p - f o r six m o nt hs an d c h a rc o a l an d usin g t his p e e l t h a t t h e s e hyd ro - c o s a min e. Ye a h, e n o u gh a b o u t
in g c re am: t h e my s kin h as n eve r t e e ny s c r u b by is *d ram a tic*. c o l l oid s t ic k ie s t h a t ’s a m o u t hf ul, t his f a c e l o tio n.
t ex t u re. I t ’s u l t ra l o o ke d c l e a re r. A b e a ds re all y g e t Like, my p o re s a re a re c u t e a s a l l b u t w h a t it d o e s is I t hyd ra t e s,
b o un c y, just like G D mira c l e, if yo u in t h e re t o nix t e e ny - t iny an d my h e l l, t h ey ’re simp l e: b right e n sm o o t hs, s of t e ns,
J e ll - O.” — R B a s k m e.” — C M dir t an d exc e s s d a r k s p o t s a re a l s o re a l l y e f f - t h e shit o u t of yo u r a n d s o o t h e s.
oil.” — A K wa y light e r.” — L B in g g o o d a t t h eir f a c e.” — R B S e rio us l y s o
L a Ro c h e - Pos a y jo b.” — R B g o o d.” — L B
I t Cosm etics Co n -
f id e n c e in Yo u r Ef f a c l a r A d a - Bio r é Ros e S o b e l S kin R x N e ut r o g e n a B right
Beaut y Sleep p al e n e G e l 0.1%, Q u a r t z + Ch a r- 30% G l yc o lic St ar f a ce H yd ro - B o ost I llumin a t - D o c t o r Ro g e rs
Night Cre am, $30, d r u gst o re s c o a l G e nt l e Acid Pe e l, $ 4 6, S t a rs, $22 f o r in g S e r um, $20, Rest o r e Fa c e
$54, it c os m e t ic s Po re Re f inin g s e p h o ra.c o m 32 st ic ke rs, d r u gs t o re s L o t io n, $72,
.c o m S c r u b, $6. 50, s t a r f a c e.wo r l d d o c t o r ro g e rs.c o m
d r u gs t o re s

5 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 EXPERIENCE
SKIN CARE INSPIRED
BODY WASH

With ingredients
like vitamin C, c ollagen,
a nd h y a lu ro ni c a c i d .

Visibly healthier sk in
in ju st one us e.
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no digital
distortion

Jen
-PYLÄNO[LY 
Paramedic

Dia
Educator & LGBTQIA+
Change Agent

pride is beautiful
Dove is partnering with women & non-binary individuals
worldwide to create Project #ShowUs, a collection of
10,000+ images that shatter beauty stereotypes.

Dove.com/ShowUs

Monisha
Photographer &
Proud Lesbian
 A creative collaboration by Cosmopolitan and Dove

THE FLUIDIT Y
OF BEAUT Y
Three barrier- breaking women share what makes
them feel amazing in their own skin.
By LAUREN BALSAMO

We get that you get it, but we’re gonna say it again anyway:
Beauty is not just one thing. It’s a zillion different looks and styles
and identities and kind of impossible to pin down. So let’s celebrate
all of it, starting with some real talk from these truly inspiring
humans. They’re part of Project #ShowUs—a genius initiative from
Dove, Girlgaze, and Getty Images that celebrates women
BY C A S S I E A N D E R S O N . H A I R A N D M A K E U P : M A R Y G U T H R I E U S I N G H A I R

who break beauty stereotypes and helps get their faces into the
pages of magazines like ours (hi!).
M A N I C U R E: J U L I E K A N DA L E C AT B R YA N B A N T R Y A G E N C Y.

MARÍA
f r o m M e x i c o Ci t y, M e x i c o

ON

IDENTITY
AND S T Y L E

“In t he Sp anish langua ge, t he re is

no word f or ‘que e r.’ S o when
I finall y got c lose to t hat word
and it s me aning in English, it
re all y inf lu e n c e d my st y l e. I l ove
pla ying around and not t r ying to
fit into any b e aut y norms, whet he r
t hat me ans ex p e rimenting wit h
dif f e rent eye line rs and lipstic ks or
P H OTO G R A P H S BY A L L I E H O L LO WAY. FA S H I O N
K É R A S TA S E, M A K E U P : B E C C A C O S M E T I C S .

printe d he ad wraps.”

61
A creative collaboration by Cosmopolitan and Dove

M ADALYN N
f r o m S t. A u g u s t i n e, Fl o r i d a

ON

SELF-LOVE

“I ’m a t rans woman, and b ef ore I

t ransitione d, I would lo ok in t he
mirror and b e like, I don’t know
this p e rson. N ow, I a c t uall y f e e l
like I ’m se eing myse lf. For me,
t hou gh, t he conc e pt of b e aut y is
more of a mindset. I love myse lf;
my wif e loves me. Knowing t hat
makes me f e el b e autif ul.”
 A creative collaboration by Cosmopolitan and Dove

ANNA SOPHIA

f r o m A t l a n t a, G e o r g i a

ON

THE POWER
OF IMAGES

“ I t ’s r a r e t o s e e a b l a c k w o m a n
i n m e d i a. B u t a c h u b b y, q u e e r
b l a c k w o m a n i n m e d i a? I d o n’t
s e e i t a t a l l. I w a n t o t h e r w o m e n
t o b e a b l e t o s e e t h e m s e l v e s in
m e, s o I a l w a y s t r y t o p re s e n t t h e
wa y I f e e l. W h e n t h a t ’s m o re
f e minin e, I ’l l p u t o n m o re
m a ke u p. O t h e r d a y s, I d o n’t
w e a r a ny a t a l l.”

To see more images

of women who
are redefining beauty
on their own terms,
check out
Dove.com/ShowUs.

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 63
 l i f e
4 PERFECT

f r oyo co mbin a t io ns 2

YOU’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT JUICY

JUICY

OF BEFORE
Raspb err y
froyo
News you can use. +
Swe et-cre am
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Photographs by CHELSIE CRAIG +
Whit e cho colat e
chips

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Pe anut but t er
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4
1
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Bir thda y cake
froyo
Che e s e cake +
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+ popcorn
Carame l sau c e
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Fr uit y Pe b b l e s
F O O D S T Y L E D BY J U DY K I M .

6 4 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
glow with the faux
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lif e

St o p h a v in g yo u r
we d din gs on a
ba
d f r i e n d ...

t
no
y o u ’r e
th

I ’m
e

h o li d a ys, p e o p l e!

ba
df
rie n d!
Why let love come bet ween
me and the errands I need to run? me deal with the wrath
of my abandoned
By LAURA BECK
mother? The aftermath
of that could span
decades!
As for ye olde chest-
nut that if you schedule
your wedding on an
inconvenient date, “the
people who really love
you will show up no
matter what”—yeah,
totally unfair. I might
really love a person
and want to see them
get hitched, but I might
also have preexisting
plans with other non-
family “people” I love
(including my dog-
child and prized trash
pajamas).
Look, everyone who
pretends to be your
friend but then sends a
four-pound invite to
spend your free PTO
our Memorial doing the hustle with
Day weekend tioners want to stay at their Uncle Larry, do us
is filled with the mid-century bou- all a favor: Plan your
dreams. Of But a sneaky, evil tique inn the bride I should probs also big-ass party on any of
long, lazy trend is now threaten- guilt-insists you book. address the emotion- the year’s many, many
Netflix ing those precious 72 (Like, I really want to ally annoying issue of other weekends. Or
binges. Of all the hours. Wait, what did come to your wed- rescheduling or skip- don’t! Whatever! My
laundry you’ll finally you just say? Holiday ding, but do you know ping long-standing opinion doesn’t really
get done. Of testing weddings sound harm- how much Thai food holiday weekend matter, and you are
the limits of how much less, festive, maybe $753 can buy?) plans that are harder obviously totally fine
takeout a human even fun? Ha ha ha ha And ofc, there are to get out of than jury with people talking shit
being can consume. ha haaaaa. the crowds. I distinctly duty. Memorial Day behind your back
I L L U S T R AT I O N BY K AT I E B U C K L E I T N E R .

(See also: your Fourth
of July weekend,
Labor Day weekend,
Thanksgiving week-
end—all your holiday
weekends.)
First, they zap your remember attending with Mom in Maine about how inconsider-
bank account even a Fourth of July wed- and Labor Day at ate you are. JK, JK, JK.
more than regular ding in Vegas where the lake are crazy- But really. No más.
weddings do. Travel the hotel’s check-in important familial Love you. Mean it.
over, say, New Year’s line literally snaked traditions (who do you
Eve is insanely expen- out the door in the think is doing said
sive, especially when Nevada heat. laundry?). Are you
a zillion other vaca- really going to make

6 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 When plan A doesn’t work out,
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lif e
LEVEL UP

Us e t his h a c k

G t o m a ke yo u r ow n
I nst a S t o r i e s
IF r

s
stick e
Arts
EN T.
and c
ra f t s b u t # CO N T
By SARAH WELDON

You know this feeling: You’re trolling through the

6:26 IGS library to find the perfect lil something to
complement the smooshiest-ever pic of your
cosmopolitan 15 m
dog. But alas, nothing fully captures your love
like a literal selfie of your face would. Cut to you
following the instructions below and completing
your final evolution into an IGS magician.

P 1
TE
S

Open up Instagram
Stories and prepare
to post like you
normally would.

P 2
TE
S

Hop into your Photos

app, find whichever
photo or GIF you
want to ~transform~
into a custom sticker,
and tap and hold
the thumbnail until
a window appears.
Select Copy.

P 3
TE
S

Go back to your
IGS draft and a little
box on the bottom
left corner should
Copy
appear with the
Share
photo you copied.
Favorite
Make sure to tap
Delete
Add Sticker before
it disappears into
the netherworld.

P 4
TE
S

Use a finger to
D O G: G E T T Y I M AG ES.

slide your sticky Add Sticker Send To

wherever you want
Send Message
it. Then let ’em think
yer a wizard, ’Arry,
and call it a day.

6 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 “It’s Flavor
Fill’d
& Flavor
Grill’d!”

Trademarks owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A., Vevey, Switzerland.

Surprise & excite your cat with over 100 varieties at Friskies.com
lif e

HOW TO
EAT THIS
VEGETABLE

Yo u r t o d a y-ye a r s- o l d

Behold the chicken

cheat sheet to liking
nugget of the
produce world. It
tastes like nothing,
goes with every-
thing, and is easy
enough to make that
Become 10 0% that plant - based betch.
you’ll actually, like,
want to. Look at you By ASHLEY OERMAN

doing things!

YOU’R
IF A SPI
E
R T
O C
Y
S

Break your cauli into

chunks and toss ’em in
a bowl with buffalo
sauce before dumping
them on a baking sheet.
Bake that ish at 425
?
degrees until golden on
brown (25 to 30 mins). n ed
r
tu
da

YOU’R
kin

IF E
G TAK
lse

I N
V E
Anyone e
O
A
CR

U
T

Preheat ze oven (425

degrees again) and put
small cauliflower pieces
on a baking sheet. Driz-
zle with olive oil and
as much curry powder
as you can handle.
Roast for 20 to 30 mins.

YOU’R
IF E
N G ITA
L I L I
E
A
FE

Break up your veg

into chunks that fit in a
blender or food proces-
sor, and chop until it
resembles rice. Put some
butter in a pan, heat, and
stir in that cauli goodness
(might smell like farts,
it’s fine). Season with
salt, pepper, and garlic
powder, then sauté until
it’s soft and fragrant
C H E L S I E C R A I G; F O O D S T Y L E D BY J U DY K I M .

in the good way.

7 0 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
Keeping things simple is good for your body and mind. It’s also good for tea.
We say no to artificial flavors and sweeteners and say yes to the finest ingredients,
expertly crafted.

NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS. NO ARTIFICIAL FL AVORS. NO IS eau i ul.

©2020 PURE LEAF logo is a registered trademark of the Unilever Group of Companies used under license.
lif e

How to

li ve like a ric h p e rs o n
during your
3
unpaid summer internship
CAN I GET A FREE SA MPLE?
Cop free samples
Put all your online shopping By SAM FEHER from Costco.
selects in a cart, then x out e the base
ar
of the page and wait for es
bro ke gir
pl

an email reminding you to the l’

am

s
complete your purchase— of Get a library card
Fre e s

fo

and use it to stream

od

with a discount.
py ra mid.

movies. (This exists.)

Sign up for a free trial

with any clothing rental Try free samples from
company. Cancel it before all the froyo shops.
they charge you and…try a
new one right away!
Ask for a “damage dis-
count” on clothing items
with a missing button or
Sell any clothes or accesso- loose thread you can easily
ries you don’t wear anymore fix. Most sales associates
(online or at an IRL consign- can give you a couple of
ment shop) to make some bucks off or even more.
extra cash for new stuff!

Keep Tupperware at the

Get free samples office. Every time there’s a
from Sephora. party, bring home leftovers.

Ask for Starbucks gift cards Join a jewelry rental

for every birthday, holiday, company (like Switch) to
and minor accomplishment get unlimited designer
you can think of. jewels (like Chanel!) for
$29 per month.

Some companies have

discounts at local stores and Pay for everything in cash.
with online partners. Find It’ll *look* like you’re
out if your job has perks! rolling in it—but really,
this is just a tried-and-true
budgeting hack. (Plus, that
change adds up.)
If the company has free
pads and tampons, use
J E N S I N G VA R S S O N / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.

those. Then pocket some

for later. Sign up for anything/
everything with your .edu
email address. Tons of
online companies (like
A lot of gyms offer free trial
ASOS) and local businesses
periods for new members—
(like coffee shops) give
so if you join, you get a few
student discounts!
weeks free! (Pro tip: Some
of them also have dispos-
able razors and sample-size
beauty products that you Swap clothes with your
can keep.) roommate/BFF.

7 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
VERSACEPARFUMS.COM
LIFT HERE TO EXPERIENCE
VERSACE BRIGHT CRYSTAL

BELK DILLARD’S MACY’S

 lif e

H E A R M E O U T:

Yo u c a n m a ke c o c k t ails
with h o t s a u c e

a n d a wa t e r b o t t l e
Not that you should—but you could!
By ARIANA MADIX
o cool for th
to is?
’r e
W h a t, y o u

L, we kno
LO w

i
w
ha
t yo
u did l
as

love a Bloody Mary. So

t

br
un
c h.
Tom Sandoval* and I
created one for our book,
Fancy AF Cocktails. Those
of you in college will appreciate
this most, for obvious reasons, but
what clever adult at some point
has not wondered: Instead of
throwing away this drive-through
swag, what if I drank it? Plus, you
can screw the cap back on and
carry it to brunch. #BYOBtoB, bb.
A DA P T ED FRO M FAN CY A F CO CK TAI LS: D RI N K RECI PES FRO M A CO U PL E O F PRO FESSI O N A L D RI N K ERS © 2019 BY A RI A N A M A D I X A N D TO M SA N D OVA L .
P H OTO G R A P H Y © 2 019 BY K E L LY P U L E I O. R E P R O D U C E D BY P E R M I S S I O N O F H O U G H TO N M I F F L I N H A R C O U R T. A L L R I G H T S R E S E R V E D.

BLOODY
DESPER ATE
MARY

2 ounces vodka
K 1 ounce water
K
K 3 fast-food ketchup
packets
2 Cholula hot sauce
packets
Splash of pickle juice
Pepper packet for
garnish

P Pour the vodka into a

water bottle, then add the
water (FYI, each indented
line on the bottle denotes
an ounce). Add the
ketchup, hot sauce, and
pickle juice. Put on the
cap and shake. Pour over
ice to serve, and garnish
with a pinch of pepper.

*Ariana’s BF, fellow bartender,

and costar on Vanderpump
Rules, the *iconique* reality
show about waitstaff who
bang and drink a lot.

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 73
lif e

Is it time to

s w it c h up
Do you ever worr y
that your contraception isn’t
working somehow?

A. B.
your I forget the I trust.
pill a lot and

bir t h
condoms
break.
So yes.

co nt r o l? Are you traveling all the damn time?

A. B.

IDK, have you read this flowchar t yet? Yup. You Nah.
jealous?
By JILL HAMILTON

ST
AR
T
Did you recently update your
relationship status? Is your BC situation
How long have you been affordable?
on your current script?
A. B.
Just broke We’re in a A. B.

A. B. C. up and monogamous Mmm, not Hell yeah!

A few It’s been Technically, downloading LTR and both particularly.
months, 84 years. I’m not “on” Tinder this STI negative.
maybe? anything. ver y second.
I use
E IS G
condoms. NG O
A
H

O
D
C

It’s time to find something

more reliable or better suited
Have any of these issues to your bod. See your doctor
popped up since you started? for an option that makes life
easier and save the drama for
your reality TV binges.
A. B. C.
I’ve had Acne or None of the
either severe lower libido above, TO YOU.
P ..
U
cramping, (but I’m praise be.
new mood hoping they Your symptoms, budget,
probs, major RIP soon!). or life plans could warrant a
weight gain, new Rx. It’s worth exploring
or heav y, inexpensive, long-term
irregular options like the IUD.
bleeding.
RRY ON
CA

Maybe you’re in an LTR with

Okay, so clearly, it ’s your pill pack or one hundred
working for you. But is there percent “no glove, no love”
anything you’d change? (as you def should be if you’re
trying to find love in a hopeless
I L L U S T R AT I O N BY K AT I E C Z E R W I N S K I .

place). In any case, sounds

A. B.
like you’re good.
.
b e f o r e m e…

My sun- Nope.
stache (aka S O U R C ES: H E AT H E R B A R TO S, M D,
melasma) is B E. WO M E N ’S H E A LT H A N D W E L L N ES S,
C R O S S R OA D S, T E X A S; E L I Z A B E T H
not ideal. W ES T, M D, M E M O R I A LC A R E, LO N G B E AC H,
C A L I F O R N I A . A N D T H I S I S O BV I , B U T: T H I S
s stand

S TO RY I S N OT A S U B S T I T U T E F O R P E R S O N A L-
I Z E D M E D I C A L A DV I C E. I F S O M E T H I N G H I N K Y
I S G O I N G O N , CO N TAC T A D O C TO R .
n
C optio
Three B

7 4 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
Cruelty-Free | Ophthalmologist Approved | Eyelash Extension Friendly
Follow us on Instagram! @GrandeCosmetics #WakeUpWithIt

Available at Sephora, Ulta Beauty, Macy’s, Amazon & GrandeCosmetics.com

*Based on consumer studies. Results will vary.
 lif e

The authors of
your new career
b i b l e E a r n I t! a r e
s w o o p in g in t o “A f t e r si x m o nt hs at my
save you from your
o f f ic e f a ils. jo b, I f oun d out a p e e r
w it h my s am e t it l e is
m ak in g m o r e t h an I am.
I imm e diat e l y t o l d my
“E ve r y t im e I t r y t o h a ve b oss an d sh e s e e m e d
Not if you listen to the advice of our columnists Mika Brzezinski and Daniela Pierre-Bravo.

an ho n est co nve rs a t ion annoye d. W h a t n ow? ”

ab out my ove r w h e lmin g
wo r k l o a d o r issu es w it h M i ka: D a n i e l a:

cowo r ke rs, I st ar t c r y in g. You came in too I agree with Mika.

GETTING FIRED?

hot. I would’ve Next time, focus on

W h a t can I d o t o m ake mentioned the why you deserve
sur e my m an a g e r t akes situation as a raise based on
something you the things you
m e seriousl y? ” look forward to bring to the table.
addressing. Wait a Fact is, you don’t
M i ka: D a n i e l a: few months, then know why your
Your boss can’t Don’t overthink it. go back in with coworker is
see you as a leader When I worry data about your outearning you.
if you cry through about something value.
basic but important happening, it
conversations. usually does. But
They might even the rules of crying
avoid you for fear in the office are “I t o o k a sic k d a y t o g e t
you could “break evolving, and so m e lif e t hin gs in o r d e r
down.” Therapy you’re not a robot.
Am I

could help you Just avoid getting (bills, et c.). W h e n I g ot

learn to manage emotional when b a c k, my b oss e m ail e d
your feelings. No you don’t get your
crying at work! way. Instead, take
t h e t e am r e min din g us
a walk and some t h at sic k d a ys are f o r
deep breaths, and act u al sic k n ess. S h o ul d I
get back after it.
d e f e n d mys e l f? ”
me to m
ave y
le
e
cu
as

be

M i ka: D a n i e l a:
Ple

o f s h a m e.

Don’t! If your boss The next time you

wanted to tell need a personal
*you* this, they day, be straight up
would have with your manager
emailed you. by explaining that
Not everything is a day off for the
about you. sake of your brain
boosts productivity
in the long run.
That might lead
to a change in
policies or at
least smash
some stigma!
S TO C K S Y.C O M .

Hi! Have a work Q for this dream team? Follow us on Twitter for our next callout!

7 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
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By MADELEINE FRANK REEVES a task and
suddenly having
extra cash.
Use these why-didn’t-I-think-of-that hacks to turn your period days
Set your morning (or, tbh, any days) into your absolute faves. Replace the
alarm for an charging cable
hour earlier…not that came with
to be productive your phone with
but to watch an 1:48 Change your a 6-foot-long
episode of phone back- Print out some one that’ll stretch
your favorite ground to a photos and gift across the bed
show in your PJs picture of an them to friends or couch, so
before work. extremely smol with sweet notes you don’t have
pup. Stare at it on the backs. to hover by a
approximately wall just bc your
Skip washing two hours a day. phone’s at 6
your hair—and
percent...again.
consider this your
excuse to push
the limits of what Smash that

D O G A N D B O O M B O X : G E T T Y I M A G E S . W O M E N O N F LO O R : J AV I E R PA R D I N A /S TO C K S Y. W O M E N AT TO P R I G H T: C H E L S E A V I C TO R I A /S TO C K S Y.
dry shampoo Cu mute button on
e
e
can do for you. all your ex’s
nd
orp

Related: Enjoy Convince your BFF profiles so your

h i n s, p ls.

30 extra daily to join you for a social media

minutes of the workout class… feeds can be
free time you and for post-class happy, happy
deserve. gossip, obviously. places.

Wear leggings Hit up the

to the office. bougiest
(With a blazer, department store
ofc. You’re a you can think
~professional~.) of and spray a
$$$ scent on
a scarf you tie
Block off noon
around your
to 1 on your cal
bag. You’ll smell
all week so no
fancy through
one can interrupt
the weekend…
your lunch with
for free.
another meeting-
that-shoulda- You know that
been-an-email. lil purse pocket?
That catchall
desk drawer?
Use crushed-up That rando car
chips from the console? Fill ’em
vending machine all with U by
as a topper for Kotex CleanWear
your no-longer- Ultra Thin Pads Dig up your old
sad desk salad. that adjust to mix-CD collection
fit and move with and listen
you, whenever exclusively to
you need them. throwback songs
You’re welcome. all week.

7 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
U by Kotex® CleanWear®

to after-party.
 a s t r o We l c o m
e to
x t r e m e H o m r :
E e M a ke ov e n
ti o
Astrology Edi
Aka cleansing, protecting,
and manifesting good
vibes only in your space.

B u t f i r st, d i d yo u VIRGO
Buttercup

k n ow yo u h a ve Tracy Flick, but

make it flora.

a b i r t h *f l owe r*? LIBRA

You do and it’s pre e et t y. Bluebell
So soothing, so
By EMMALEA RUSSO
~harmonious~.

SCORPIO
Geranium
Try staring at one
without your eyes
watering. Yeah,
exactly.

SAGIT TARI US
Dandelion
Will pretty much
grow anywhere.

CAPRICORN
Iv y
Loves to reach the
top of everything/
anything.
W

F LO W E R : B O N N I N S T U D I O/S TO C K S Y. B E D : K ATA R I N A R A D O V I C/S TO C K S Y.

ill
yo
ua

AQUARIUS
cc

Orchid
ep
tt

Bc it kind of seems
hi
s
*c

like it comes from

he

ks
c

no the future?
te
s*
lil
y? Lily PISCES
Water lily
Dreamy, with that
whole water thing.

LEO

80
 ast r o l o g y

N ow c l e a n(s e)
You know how after
an awful roommate
moves out, your

t h a t sh*t u p
place still kinda feels 2. DO SOME
By A L IZ A K E L LY
like an emotional SWEEPING
crime scene? Like, Begin at the outside
her dirty dishes are edges of your rooms,
gone, but her messy working counterclock-
ways are still mess- wise as you bring all
ing with you? It’s the dust to the middle
because they *are*. of the floor. Negative
Energetically speak- energy that has accu-
ing, at least. mulated in your space
See, we’re all will be gathered up
connected to some- too. Wave your palm
thing called the over the pile to say
(warning: vibe-y buh-bye, then toss it
term ahead) astral all to the curb.
plane. It’s basically
where the intangible 3. M A K E A
aspects of our rela- SMUDGE STICK
tionships live, and it It’s a small bundle of
helps explain how plants and herbs (try
even if someone Saint-John’s-wort,
(that roommate, an mandrake, hawthorn,
ex) vacates a space, garlic, and cinquefoil)
they can leave that you bind with
behind a strong string and set on fire
impression. to release positive
The good news: energy and burn out
Scrubbing your neggy vibes. After
home of gross left- lighting it up, walk
overs isn’t so hard. around your rooms or
All you need is a use your hands to dis-
calendar, a broom perse the smoke. Stop
(witchy version after your space feels
optional), string, a clearer (or, uh, the fire
lighter, and a few
plants or herbs.

1. FI N D A
DIVINE TIME
Full Moons serve as
celestial flashlights,
illuminating abso-
lutely everything.
Meaning this is your
moment to clean.

ARIES TAURUS GEMINI

Y O U R ( 0 3. 21– 0 4 .19) ( 0 4 . 20 – 0 5. 20 ) ( 0 5. 21– 0 6. 20 )

M AY Those late nights are def going to
H O R O - pay off soon—this is the time for
major money moves. Mid-May,
S C O P E your focus turns to networking,
By JAKE REGISTER so plan to ~connect~.
Drama with the squad is your
theme rn—so sorry, babes! It
might be time to ditch the pals
who are dragging you down and
find some new ride-or-dies.
Turn off literally all your push
notifications, clear your Google
Cal, and add a weighted blanket
to cart. May = you taking the
most time to find yourself.

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 81
ast r o l o g y

G O O D
V I BES O N LY
H ey, ro o mie,
co ol if I stick a
cr yst al und e r
STUDIO

Pr ot e c t
your b e d?

LIVING
ROOM

yo u r p l a c e
( N o c r e e py n a n ny c a ms n e c .)
By LISA STARDUST

Now that your astral plane is clear (look at you!),

it’s time to focus on keeping any new WTF feels out.
What you need is a little ~magickal protection~, AY
YW
TR
courtesy of the charms below (relax, you can get it EN

all on Amazon). Follow these instructions during a

Waning Gibbous lunar phase (that’s astrolese for
“a few days after a Full Moon”) and stage your
finished work throughout your home. The more you
make, the safer you’ll stay.

THE INGREDIENTS THE INGREDIENTS THE INGREDIENTS THE INGREDIENTS THE INGREDIENTS

• Glass mason jar • Hematite • An iron horse- • Charcoal • A bunch of white

• Salt • Amber shoe (I don’t onions with
W H AT TO D O
• Rosemary • Carnelian make the rules!) stems attached
• Clear quartz • Nails Carry around a • Twine
• Writing tool W H AT TO D O little piece or put
• A hammer
• Wax one anywhere in W H AT TO D O
Place these stones,
which serve as a W H AT TO D O any room to ward Tie the onions
W H AT TO D O
defense against the Using seven nails, against those together with twine,
Fill the jar halfway evil eye and general throwing shade then braid their
attach the horse-
with salt and rose- bad feels, in the your way. Yup, it’s stems to make a
shoe to your wall of
mary. Put in the perimeter corners that simple. protective talisman.
choice. Important:
quartz. Write down of your rooms. You can hang them
You’ve got to set it
what you want to anywhere but prefer-
up in a “U” shape.
protect on a piece ably in a kitchen or
Hanging it the
of paper and place attic. Oh, and the
other way means
that inside. Seal onions must be posi-
luck and abun-
the lid with melted tioned upside down
G E T T Y I M AGES.

dance will flow out

wax and store on a (again, I don’t make
of your house.
kitchen shelf. the rules!).

CANCER LEO VIRGO

( 0 6. 21– 07. 2 2) ( 07. 23 – 0 8. 2 2) ( 0 8. 23 – 0 9. 2 2)

Prepare to get even tighter with your
homies. And yes, that includes actually
leaving the house to socialize. You’re
being pushed out of your comfort
zone—that’s a good thing.
Big changes are coming at work, kitty
cat, and there’s no time for fun hangs.
You have to keep up with your boss,
period. So optimize your schedule and
ditch what’s not working.
You haven’t had much luck in love
lately, but…new month, new boo. And
probs someone who’s not your type. If
you’re already partnered up, it’s time
to discover some new kinks.

8 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 ast r o l o g y

Want to find
BATH Want to an S.O.?
You can tell the universe
chill TF out?
that too.
Make an altar to
W H E R E Your bedroom.
Ganesha, a deity who
H O W It’s easy: Clean
OFFICE brings happy blessings.
your room. Yep, that’s
You can use an actual
KITCHEN

it! Make your bed, pick

mini statue of her or
your bra up off the floor,
make do with a photo.
and throw out those Taco
W H E R E The northeast
Bell hot sauce packets
corner of your home
on your nightstand. No,
or office.
we’re not your mom, but
H O W Light a candle,
Marie Kondo’ing your
make an offering (that
place on the regular as
could be sweet treats or
BEDROOM though your boo is com-
the candle itself), and
ing over tonight tells the
sit at your altar in quiet
universe you’re ready for,
contemplation. Then ask
well, your boo to come
Ganesha for what you
over tonight. (That, and
want. Be specific, very
upgrading your twin bed
specific. Like, “I want my
to something two people
annual review on Friday
can actually sleep on.)
to lead to a promotion.”
Intention is everything
W H E N Daily or on
here!
Wednesdays.
W H E N Daily.

Want to level
up your current Want to
relationship? make bank?
Make an altar to items
Make an altar to your

…a n d t u r n it partner with some pic-

tures of the two of you,
that signify *abundance*.
Examples: a prosperous
plant, valuable coins,

int o a g e ni e
any special items of
crystals, even a crisp
meaning, and a statue
dollar bill will do!
or image of Venus, the
W H E R E The north wall of

lamp By SANDRA FUNK

goddess of love.
W H E R E In your bedroom
along the southeast wall.
your home or office.
H O W Light sandalwood
There
’s
We’re talking big-time manifesting incense and bring some
no H O W Bring fresh flowers,
a flowers like lotuses or
via a few strategically placed rose quartz, and honey
lta

pink roses as an offering.

rf

visual reminders. First, figure out as offerings, then light

or a

what it is you *really* want. Then Then sit and meditate.

a candle at your altar,
t tra

W H E N Daily or on
get ready to build an altar or two. where you can spend
tin c

JSYK, my practice is based on Fridays.

time meditating with lots
g
ch

ck
Jyotish, or Vedic astrology, the tra-
i

en
nug
of romantic intention.
s , s r y.
ditional Hindu system of astrology. W H E N Fridays.

LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS

( 0 9. 23 –10. 2 2) (10. 23 –11. 21) (11. 2 2–12. 21)

May is pulling your focus to your closest Your love life is going through a major Your 9-to-5 to-do list is your focus this
connections, making this a good time to transformation, Scorpy. That could month. Rework your personal cal to
level up your relationships. It’s also time mean a major breakup or getting spend the PTO you do have on stuff you
to press pause on your “I see it, I like it, I majorly serious. Single? Expect waaay love (like, may we suggest hosting a
want it, I got it” spending (just for now!). intense chemistry with someone new. throwback spring break party?).

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 83
ast r o l o g y

Color magick

turned my

apartment into

my therapist
And I didn’t even have
to get a new couch.

By MIA
LARDIERE

i learned in a high
school psychol-
ogy class that
colors can impact
your thoughts and
feelings. At least
I’m pretty sure that’s what
the teacher said….But if I
wasn’t paying attention, at
least the witches were,
who now use colors to
invoke certain energies—
with interior design. My
professional witch friend
and color-magick practi-
tioner Sarah Potter gave
me some *chef’s kiss* tips
when I was feeling burned
out a few months ago. She
suggested I:

CAPRICORN
(12. 2 2– 01.19)

Lately, you’ve felt like your relation-

ship isn’t working…and that it’s not
just them, it’s you too. You’re right,
and if you can’t start compromis-
ing, it might be time to move on.

84 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020

I ’d still
t ake a
new couch
though.
1. Sw a p o u t t h e
bright fluorescent
b u l b in my bedroom’s
lighting fixture for a
warmer one and add a
candle to my bedside
table for a bonus moody
glow (LED candles
count, if you’re worried
about burning down
your house). “You don’t
need strong, invigorat-
ing light because you
R U B E N C H A M O R R O.
don’t work in here,”
Potter explained. Makes
sense!
2. Add some
plant-mom vibes
t o m y b e d r o o m to
promote good health.
This was a perfect
excuse to finally put up
the banana-leaf sticky
AQUARIUS
( 01. 20 – 0 2.18 )
The first part of May has you stuck at
home feeling lonely. By mid-month, tho,
your love life comes to, er, life. Sadly
(meep), that could mean you’re fighting
with bae. Free advice: Try to be flexible!
2
So! Apart from setting
my hair on fire when I first lit
the candle (don’t ask), my
new lighting sitch makes my
bedroom feel like a womb in
the best, least-weird way.
My eyeballs are so happy to
relax after working in a blin-
dingly bright office all day.
To amplify my new
sheets’ vibes, Potter told
me to visualize a purple
3
light surrounding me before
bed. I def haven’t reached
this kind of peak meditation
yet, but it is a nice daily
wallpaper I’d ordered reminder to take some
forever ago. deep breaths.
And when I was rushing
3. E xc h a n g e m y
to get to Spin class one
w h i t e s h e e t s for a
dreamier color like pur- morning, a glance at my
ple, silver, or light gray. yellow teapot reminded me
that life would go on if the
4. Leave soft-
pink flowers in instructor (who scares me)
m y e n t r y w a y. They reprimanded me. The pink
would greet me with peonies in my doorway
sweetness as soon as had a similarly uplifting
I walked through the effect. Their perfume even
door.
overpowered my scented
5. B u y m y k i t c h e n garbage bags, which I hate
a y e l l o w t e a ke t - but bought accidentally and
t l e . My 5 a.m. morn- have to use up. Best of all,
ings would be *that*
my wallpaper has me
much brighter with a
dose of sunny hues.
feeling like I’m living in
Margaritaville, population:
one very chilled out moi.
PISCES
( 0 2.19 – 0 3. 20 )
You’ve been dropping toxic friendships
all year, and now you’re reassessing
your BFFs. It sucks to say goodbye, but if
it’s not healthy, let it go. DW, there are
plenty of fish in the sea. (Sorry, had to.)
 l us t
“A n
d

or
f

My boy friend and all

. .”
the
frost R ..
i n g , i t ’s L- I - A -

his friends made me think he was

10 years younger than he is

f o r an e nt ir e ye ar
I guess that’s why all his pics from his 20s were printed out.
By GABI CONTI

cost more than my

rent), but I also didn’t
notice any deep wrin-
kles that looked like
my dad’s. And hey, at

i
t was his driv-
er’s license
that gave
Robert*
away. He’d
just told me to pick out
a movie on his iPad,
with a casual “pass-
code is my birthday”
from the other room. I
knew his birth month,
ofc, but didn’t want to
admit I’d blanked on
the exact date, so I
reached into his wal-
let. And then there I
stood, staring, mouth 23, I was all too eager
wide fucking open. I to meet someone who
got out my phone’s didn’t consider Chi-
calculator to check potle a date-night
the math I fooled spot. So I accepted
myself into believing his invitation to take
was my error. But me out for bucatini.
nope: He was fully Robert impressed
FORTY-FIVE years me with his knowl-
old—not already- edge of fine wines
pushing-our-age-gap and classic cinema,
35, as he’d said. and I leaned into his
When the two of kiss at the end of the
us first locked eyes night, even after he
at a rooftop bar, I shared that he was 12
could tell Robert was years older than I am.
slightly older (regular How lucky I thought I
20somethings don’t was to have found this
wear watches that L.A. producer who
seemed genuine (lol).

8 6 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020 *N a m e h a s b e e n c h a n g e d t o p ro t e c t a d e s p i c a b l y f ra gi l e e g o.
 Turns out, I was
chillin’ in the
womb when he
If
was tossing back yo
u
se
e
tequila. m
e
ca
rd
in
g
m
y
fir
st
da

Then he accused me
te
s,

of snooping (an A+
m
in

straight up, I might not

d

way to get to know example of gaslight-

ya

me—which, in hind- have let it get so seri-

bu

ing, friends).
sin

sight, makes total Here’s the part that ous, even though I
es
s.

sense. (Robert later really haunts me tho: I liked him for more
admitted that the didn’t break up with than the year he was
C O R E Y M AY WA LT. P R O P S S T Y L E D BY S O P H I E L E N G.

“bros” wondered how him right away. Like born. But the lying,
From that point on, long he could “keep any not not stable the gaslighting, the
we pretty much dated up this act.”) 23-year-old, I made a plotting? Hard pass.
exclusively. He met “What IS THIS?” I pro-con list. Pro: He’d I’ve since moved And you thought this
on, but it’s still all I stor y was cray...read
my family, and I met asked after learning get a senior citizen more of Gabi’s dating
his friends. They were the truth, waving his rate on movie tickets can do now *not* to experiences in her
nice enough when we license in his face. soon. Con: What else say, “Can I see some new book, Twent y
Guys You Date in Your
met up for big group The DMV had made a was he lying about? ID?” whenever I meet Twenties, $17,
dinners, but they mistake, he insisted. Listen, had Robert someone new. amazon.com.

never went out of their told me his real age

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 87
 lust

We put a heart-rate
monitor on 12 women to
see how many
calories they
*actually* burn O o h, a n d w h a t
do we have
h e r e? A n o r g a s m,
t h a t ’s w h a t.

during sex
Sex is not a workout, but
who said it’s supposed to be?
By TAY LO R A N D R E WS

120
BPM

80
BPM

40
BPM

l
ots of people,
including me
(a person who
writes about
This is what
sex all day
girl-on-top

J O R G E N A H L S T R O M / B L A U B L U T - E D I T I O N .C O M .
and pretty Love Is Blind. Then
much finds again (and tell me if
looks like.
every possible reason I’m wrong here...),
to bring it up in any
conversation), wish
that sex were a work-
sometimes missionary
can consist of just
lying still in bed for a
1.85
Average calories
out. And it does kinda solid seven minutes burned per minute
seem reasonable that (I’m not wrong). during missionary
getting it on probably Luckily, these days, or doggy
burns more calories fitness trackers are
than sitting on the even easier to come
couch binge-watching by than reality shows
about finding love,
so I figured it was
time to conduct a lil
experiment. JEN, 25 HANNAH, 25 VALERIE, 25
5'8", 150 lbs. 5'5", 129 lbs. 4'11", 115 lbs.
29 cals in 17 cals in 22 cals in
16:48 mins 11:30 mins 14:11 mins

8 8 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 1.71 THE TEST SUBJECTS
Average calories
A dozen DTF women, aka coworkers and friends
burned per
minute during because that is the life of a Cosmo bestie. Love y’all!
girl-on-top
THE M E TH O D O LO GY
Our volunteers wore a heart-rate monitor strapped
around their chest each time they had sex: once in
the missionary position, once in doggy, and once
in girl-on-top. (If sixth-grade science taught me
anything, it’s that you have to have consistent-ish
variables to create basic stat graphs and therefore
also sexperiments. Thank you, Mrs. Thompson.)

15 MINS

T H E R E S U LT S
Our smol but mighty study found that sex is good
for, well, having sex. For reaching your workout
goals? Not so much, regardless of position.
Honestly, though, maybe gym time and hookup
time are best kept separate anyway. Who wants to,
like, eke out a set of push-ups in girl-on-top? (Not
this girl.) And there are so many other v important
boning benefits to consider: stress relief, emotional
bonding, remembering you have pizza in your
fridge to enjoy afterward.…
So even if you’re so good at multitasking that you
literally apply liquid eyeliner while driving, it’s
probs best to think of sex and fitness as two different
kinds of sweat sessions.*

*It’s also okay to spend $140 on a fantastic couples vibrator

instead of a ClassPass membership, if you feel so inclined.
Do you.

JEMMA, 25 MIRANDA, 25 TIFFANY, 29 BEBE, 32 ELIZABETH, 26 EMILY, 25 HOPE, 26 CARISSA, 28 MADDIE, 26

5'6", 114 lbs. 5'4", 145 lbs. 5'3", 190 lbs. 5'7", 135 lbs. 5'6", 183 lbs. 5'2", 128 lbs. 5'2", 120 lbs. 5'6", 160 lbs. 5'0", 110 lbs.
33 cals in 27 cals in 18 cals in 21 cals in 23 cals in 30 cals in 21 cals in 57 cals in 20 cals in
16:06 mins 14:45 mins 11:32 mins 13:45 mins 13:45 mins 23:43 mins 8:40 mins 36:17 mins 13:33 mins

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 89
lust

Yo u r yes/n o/m a y b e

foreplay
generator
It’s like a sex y homework assignment, but instead
of an A, you’ll get an orgasm.
By TAY LO R A N D R E WS

If you’ve never been turned on by a torn-out piece of magazine paper, that’s about to change. Consider
this worksheet your shortcut to the kind of sex life you already masturbate to, filled with everything
C L AY TO N C U B I T T.

you love and...everything you’re about to love. Mark it up, then casually leave it for your partner—on
their nightstand or, if you’re cruelly trying to cause a mid-meeting boner, in their workbag.

9 0 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 How TF to use this thing Fi n g e r i n g S ex t i n g O r a l s ex

Not interested I wanna do

= this to you
Just leave it =
Light
blank Mark with a FU N S T U FF Hair-pulling
biting

Ye s , d o i t Hmm,
to me maaaybe
= =
Circle that ish Underline it
Lap dance Orgasm denial Rimming

RO L E- PL AY PL AY TH I N GS
…l e t a m a s s a g e c a n d l e b u r n
FA NTASI ES f o r 2 0 t o 3 0 m i n u t e s, t h e n
at t
br le

Bu ug

d r i p s o m e w a x d ow n e a c h
G O AHE AD, GET ROUGH WITH ME. JUST RIP RIGHT HERE.

or
vi Bul

pl
tt

o t h e r ’s b a c k s?

WHY D O N ’ T W E…
…r e c o r d t h e s o u n d s o f
stimulator
Vibrating

Clitoral
panties

o u r ow n s t e a my s ex s e s h
t o r e p l a y w h e n e ve r
DOCTOR
w e’r e f e e l i n g ~f r is k y~?
+
PAT I E N T …t r y i c e p l a y?
W

ng k
m

c
an ge
as

Co
d r
sa

ri

Ra b b i t …m a s t u r b a t e t o g e t h e r
PROFESSOR via video chat?
vibrator
+
STUDENT …r e s t r a i n e a c h o t h e r w i t h
s o m e l i n g e r i e?
SPAN K I N G SPEC I FI CS

FOOTBALL Breast Handcuffs Ball gag

P L AY E R
Stomach
+
SE XC ESSO R I ES
BO N DAG E

CHEERLEADER
Butt

Collar Ro p e
Thigh
DAENERYS
TA RGA RY E N
+ with
JON SNOW

Blindfold Nipple clamps

Hand
YO GA
INSTRUCTOR Flogger
+ W H AT EL SE?
YO G I Wooden
spoon

VA M P I R E
+
VICTIM ( f i l l i n t h e b l a n k s ) ( n o , s r s l y, g e t c r e a t i v e )

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 91
 F i n a l l y, a h
um
p
da

y
we
ca
n lo
ok for ward
t o.
Yo u c an quot e
m e o n t his :
D r y humpin g is
b e t t e r t h an s ex
local drive-in (I know,
but it’s true). Not
ready for capital-S
S A R A H L A U R E N H O LT/ T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.

sex, we took to vig-

orously rubbing our
genitals together while
fully clothed. We were
both caught off guard
when I suddenly
started moaning like
I was possessed. And
when, after, I was so

9 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020

There’s no pressure to
be “good” at it,
because there’s literally
no ~technique~.
satisfied that I PTFO’d
as he sped home to P-in-V (penis-in-vagina)
make our 11 p.m. cur- to be the end goal of
few (ah, youth). ~sex~. But that’s seri-
So that was then, ously basic—not to
but listen: It should mention wildly hetero-
also be now. normative. Sex is so
much more than that,
Grinding does as the rest of us know:
a clit well Fingers, tongues, toys,
i s a l l I ’m s a y i n g . and denim seams can
Yeah, yeah, most of all be as fulfilling,
society still considers
especially given that
most women need
clitoral stimulation to
orgasm. So when you
really think about it,
dry humping might just
be the most targeted,
democratic form of
intimacy out there.
I t ’s a l s o k i n d o f
t h e O G “s a f e s e x .”
If you’re anxious about
getting pregnant or
an STI, dry humping
is definitely one of
the *least* risky ways
to get off—assuming
you stay dressed, of
course. (While we’re
out here modernizing
sex, I should take this
moment to say that
you can go ahead
and dry-hump naked
if you want to. It’ll feel
slightly less…dry…but
equally as good. Just
make sure to tag in a
barrier method like
a condom to help
block out sperm or
skin-to-skin infections
like herpes.)
And TBH, you
should just (re)
tr y it.
I recently invited my
new boyfriend to see
if my old moves would
still work. With shirts
and underwear on, we
proceeded to mash
our junk together and,
yep, damn.
As someone whose
delicate clit can’t
handle tons of direct
stimulation (TOO
MUCH, BABES), my
nerve endings were
thankful for the layers
of fabric. We could
press really hard into
lust
suddenly in a bone-
zone time machine,
each other without revisiting the urgent
pain. There also wasn’t horniness of our
any pressure to be teens, when every
single touch and
“good” at it, because
there’s literally no glance really mat-
~technique~ besides, tered, you know?
well, grinding. Basically, at 16, I
Even better: the tan- thought of dry hump-
talizing “gotta touch ing as a slightly
you everywhere now embarrassing rest stop
but can’t” frustration on the way to other
of having clothes on. kinds of “real” sex. But
Like, sure, I can have as an adult, dry hump-
sex with my BF any- ing is all about tension
time, without need- and appreciation—
ing to sneak around and being extremely,
in the back seat of extremely turned on.
a car. But the primal That’s why I’m now
desperation that came the proud president of
from clawing at each the Dry Humping for
other while dressed Grown-ups club. I’m
yielded a whole new the first at brunch to
(or whole forgotten) say, “Okay, but have
dimension of hotness. you tried...?” And
It was like we were when the boyf wants
to get me worked up,
he knows exactly what
to do. High school me
would be so proud.
“Fingering is such a
fun form of foreplay and
generally less anxiet y-
unpopular sex-pinions
inducing and easier
to do well than oral.”
Now for some other
—LEXI, 23
“I like to talk during sex
but not ‘dirt y’ talk.
I like to joke and giggle
and ask questions.
9/10 men hate this.”
—PA I G E, 23
“Yeah, it’s sorta
unwieldy, but sixt y-
nining actually rules. It’s
like a cool oral sex con-
versation that
goes both ways.”
—S O P H I E , 2 6
M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 93
 There is no magic button.
We’r e h e r e t o c o r r e c t t h e
re cord—and to apologize.

B y E L I Z A B E T H K I E FE R

95
M A Y 2 0 2 0
 Hell, even Merriam-Webster is in on it: The G-spot is a “highly
erogenous mass of tissue” in every dictionary it prints.
So then why, when we talked to the woman who helped “discover”
it, did she tell us we’ve all been obsessed with the wrong thing?

that time being 1982, there T H AT W O M A N I S B E V E R LY W H I P P L E , P H D. S H E A N D A T E A M

T H E G -S P O T I S A L L E G E D LY…

was sex. And then, suddenly, of researchers officially coined the term “G-spot” in the early
there was sex. ’80s. They named the thing, which they described as a “sensitive”
The difference? A teensy half-inch “small bean,” for German researcher Ernst Gräfenberg (yeah,
ribbed nub on the upper front wall of a dude). And just like that, your most frustrating fake body
your vagina. Scientists—and maga- part was born.
zines (hi) and books and sex-toy com- Honestly, it all got out of hand from there, says Whipple. Her
panies and movies and TV shows and team wasn’t saying that each and every woman has a G-spot.
your roommates and your sex-ed (“Women are capable of experiencing sexual pleasure many differ-
“ T h e r o o f o f m y u t e r us.”

teacher—reported that it was a uni- ent ways,” she insists to Cosmo now. “Everyone is unique.”) And
versal key to The Mysterious Female despite that bean analogy, they didn’t mean it was a spot spot.
Orgasm. And thus began the era They were talking about an “area” that could simply make some
“O n e in c h in.”

when you were supposed to be able to women feel good. But the media (hi again!) preferred the neat and
say “it blew my mind” to your girl- tidy version and ran with it like a sexual cure-all.
friends at brunch. Researchers did too. In 2012, a study published in The Journal
Or was it three inches wide? of Sexual Medicine proclaimed that of course the G-spot was real.
Farther down, near your vulva? Slick It just wasn’t a bean. It was actually an 8.1- by 3.6-millimeter
“ T h e b a c k r i g h t o f m y v a g i n a.”

instead of ribbed? Kinda springy to “rope-like” piece of anatomy, a “blue” and “grape-like” sac. This
the touch? revelation came from gynecologic surgeon Adam Ostrzenski, MD,
“ T h r e e in c h e s in.”

Whatever, it was it. And fuck if PhD, after his study of an 83-year-old woman’s cadaver. (He went
we all didn’t work hard to find on to sell “G-spotplasty” treatments to women.) Over the years,
our own. Back in 1982, Cosmo told lots of other researchers found the G-spot to be lots of other
women to get there by “squatting” things: “a thick patch of nerves,” “the urethral sponge,” “a gland,”
so it would be easier “to stick one or “a bunch of nerves.”
two fingers inside the vagina” and For the most part, though, the thing that women were supposed
make the necessary “come-hither to find has remained a mystery to the experts telling them to find
“ B a r e l y in.”

motion.” A 2020 Google search turns it. Dozens of trials used surveys, pathologic specimens, imaging,
up thousands of road maps (“where and biochemical markers to try to pinpoint the elusive G-spot once
“ I n a l i t t l e p o c ke t o f s p a c e u p n e a r m y b e l l y b u t t o n.”

is the G-spot?” has been searched and for all.

more times than Michaels Jordan In 2006, a biopsy of women’s vaginas turned up nothing.
and Jackson). That cute-adjacent guy In 2012, a group of doctors reviewed every single piece of known
you slept with in college tried the data on record and found no proof that the G-spot exists.
“ N e a r m y c e r v i x .”

classic pile-drive maneuver, to mid- In 2017, in the most recent and largest postmortem study to date
dling success. done on 13 cadavers, researchers looked again: still nothing.
But it must not matter, because the “It’s not like pushing an elevator button or a light switch,”
G-spot economy is booming: G-spot asserts Barry Komisaruk, PhD, a neuroscientist at Rutgers
vibrators, G-spot condoms, G-spot University. “It’s not a single thing.”
lube, G-spot workshops, and, for the
particularly daring and/or Goop-
inspired, $1,800 G-spot shots meant
to plump yours for extra pleasure.

9 6 C o s m o p o l i t a n M a y 20 20
ele W
C o s m o p o l l e d m o r e t h a n 1, 0 0 0 w o m e n a n d m o r e t h a n

EL

.
L
1, 0 0 0 m e n b e t w e e n t h e a g e s o f 18 a n d 3 4 i n a n a t i o n a l l y

..
T R
H E
represent ative sur vey t o se e the re al G -sp ot landscap e, IS M
a n d i t ’s . . . b l e a k .
IS A BUM

ven
of women have avoided
sex because they can’t find
their G-spot.

thirty one
%
of women say their partner has
gotten frustrated while searching for it.

four
forty of women themselves have felt frustration, confusion,
or anxiet y while tr ying to locate their G-spot.

%
 “I don’t think we have any evidence

T H E G -S P O T I S A L L E G E D LY…
that the G-spot is a spot or a struc-
ture,” says Nicole Prause, PhD, a neu-
roscientist who studies orgasms and
sexual arousal. “I’ve never under- information about their bodies.” Can’t we have our pleasure—
stood why it was interpreted as some and the truth too?
new sexual organ. You can’t stan- As Prause said (and this bears repeating), for some women,
dardize a vagina—there is no consis- there is sexual sensitivity where the G-spot is supposed to be.
tency across women as to where But for others, there’s none. Or it’s to the left. Or it’s in a few
exactly we experience pleasure.” places. And that’s kind of the whole point. It’s all okay. It can
Sure, she says, some women might all feel good.

“ By m y b u t t.”
have an area inside their vaginas What everyone can agree on is that we need more research.

“ Re a l l y d e e p i n t h e r e, n o t c l o s e t o t h e o p e ni n g o f m y v a g i n a a t a l l.”
that contains a bunch of smaller, Women’s sexual health is vastly understudied, and the scientific
super-sensitive areas. But some hurdles are borderline absurd. In 2015, Prause tried to get a trial
women say that when they follow going at UCLA that would study orgasms in women who were,
Cosmo’s old two-finger come-hither you know, actually alive. The board heard her out but wanted a
advice, they feel discomfort or like promise that her test subjects “wouldn’t climax” because they
“ B e hi n d t h e c li t o r is.”

they have to pee. Others feel nothing didn’t like the optics of women orgasming in their labs. (As
at all. Because for them, there’s you’ve already guessed, the study wasn’t approved.)
nothing there. So yeah, a new kind of thinking about female pleasure is going
to take a minute for certain people to get on board with. Like
N OW F O R T H E T R I C K I E S T PA R T O F those brunch friends who go on and on about G-spot rapture.
this story—and, TBH, the reason this And like men, who might love the idea of the G-spot best of all.
is even a story at all. Despite the lack A G-spot orgasm requires penetration, which just so happens to
of scientific evidence, there are still be the way most guys prefer to get off. “If you’ve got a penis, it
“ R i g h t i n s i d e m y v a g i n a a n d t o t h e l e f t.”

lots of G-spot believers, many of them would be super convenient if the way the person with a vagina
super-smart, well-meaning sex edu- has pleasure is for you to put your penis in their vagina,” says
cators. They’re a pretty heated group Emily Nagoski, PhD, author of Come as You Are, a book that
(one hung up on us when we called explores the science of female sexuality. Related: 80 percent of
for an interview) and not...entirely... the men in Cosmo’s survey said they believe every woman has a
wrong. Their point is: If a woman G-spot; nearly 60 percent called it the “best way” for a female
believes she’s found her G-spot, that partner to achieve pleasure. (“Once you rally enough experience
“ I D K .”

should outweigh any lack of science. like myself, you can find it on every girl,” one supremely
And specifically, if someone claims to confident guy told us.)
have experienced G-spot pleasure, it Just like it did for women, the G-spot gave men a universal
seems “bizarre” to shut her down, performance metric and the “cultural message that pleasure for
“M y c lit o r is.”

says Kristen Mark, PhD, a sex educa- women happens by pounding on their vaginas with your penis,”
“ I n d if f e r e n t p l a c e s.”

tor at the University of Kentucky. says Nagoski.

“That feels like going backward.” Things were thisclose to going in a much better direction.
Fair. It’s just that, as Prause points “In the early ’80s, there was research that was really putting the
out, “women deserve accurate clitoris front and center,” explains Nagoski. “Then along came
the G-spot research, creating this pressure for women to be
orgasmic from vaginal stimulation even though most women’s
bodies just aren’t wired that way. And if you really think about

IF YOU’VE

GOT A PENIS,

it would be super
9 8 C o s m o p o l i t a n M a y 20 20
 2020
We all agree to put it behind
us and move the hell on.

2 019 19 0 5
Trojan introduces In an essay, Sigmund Freud
G-spot condoms. calls clitoral orgasms
“infantile and immature.”
Okay, bro.

TH
2 0 17 E 195 0 s
B
In the latest and largest E German researcher
study on cadavers to

G
Ernst Gräfenberg

IN
date, other researchers discovers a female

N
say there is no proof “erotic zone.”

IN
after all.

G
AND
ot
G -s p

THE
2 012 19 81

But wait, in a claim A team of researchers

EN
that raises scientific finds what they believe
eyebrows, one doctor is a major discovery for

D
presents “proof” that women’s pleasure...

O
women do have a

F
G-spot. T
H
E
G
-S
PO
E T:
2 012 TIM ELIN A 19 8 2
Doctors look over …and they publish an
nearly 100 pieces entire book on it: G-Spot
of data to deter- & Other Discoveries
mine if it’s real. The About Human Sexuality.
consensus: Nope.

2006
A new group of scientists
19 8 3
tries to find the G-spot.
They can’t. Because “if it exists,
we need a vibrator for it,”
the rabbit is invented.

convenient I F TH E WAY TH E PERSO N WITH A VAGI N A HAS PLE ASU RE

IS FOR YOU TO PUT YOUR PENIS IN THEIR VAGINA .

eig
YE
A
,

O
H
IT TO
FO S
OLED U

hty
four
%

of women believe the G-spot exists.

thirty eight
%
of women think it’s the best way to achieve sexual pleasure.

two
eighty of men believe ever y woman has the magic button.

%
GO AHEAD AND LET THAT SINK
in while we gear up to talk about the
T H E G -S P O T I S A L L E G E D LY…

fallout. Not only the sexual frustra-

tion (although that, definitely that)
but also the giant emotional burden
the G-spot unwittingly dropped on to help them find Beth’s G-spot so she could have The Orgasm.
all of us. Turns out, the thing that “The night we did doggy-style, it felt...god, there was the sound of
was supposed to awaken and equal- skin smacking and my husband asking me if it was working. It was
ize our sex lives came with a really terrible.” (We fact-checked this with Beth’s husband. Oh yeah, “it
shitty side effect: shame. sucked.”) After that, they gave up.
More than half of the women in Other couples are still searching: 22 percent of guys say that
“O n t h e o u t si d e o f t h e l a b i a.”

Cosmo’s survey reported feeling inad- finding a woman’s G-spot is the number one goal of sex, which
equate or frustrated knowing that helps explain the 31 percent of women who say they’re dealing
others are able to orgasm in a way with exasperated partners. Prause worries about that. She says:
“J u s t g o u p w it h y o u r f in g e r a n d m a k e a G.”

they can’t. Eleven percent said this “You’ll hear guys say things like, ‘My last girlfriend wasn’t this
made them avoid sex entirely. “I have much work,’ or ‘You take a long time to orgasm,’ or ‘This worked
friends who say they always climax for the last person I slept with.’ That makes women question if
from intercourse alone and they’re they’re normal. And that, we hate.”
like, ‘You just haven’t found it yet,’”
says Alyssa, a Cosmo reader. “It’s like WHICH IS WHY WE’RE CALLING OFF THE SEARCH. WE’RE
they’re the lucky ones.” done with the damn “spot” and we’re sorry, again, that we ever
“ Pa r t o f t h e l a d y p a r t s.”

That’s why on one recent Tuesday, brought it up. And actually: Unless sex researchers make a surpris-
another Cosmo reader, Beth, found ingly major breakthrough, Cosmo won’t be publishing any more
herself sitting in a room that looked G-spot sex positions or “how to find it” guides.
oddly like a vagina—low, pink light, a “What would truly be revolutionary for women’s sex lives is to
candle burning softly nearby—get- engage with what research has found all along: the best predictors
ting her first round of G-spot home- of sexual satisfaction are intimacy and connection,” adds Debby
“S l i g h t l y o u t o f r e a c h.”

work. She and her husband had hired Herbenick, PhD, a professor at Indiana University School of Public
a sex therapist to help them feel more Health and a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.
“A s e c r e t p l a c e.”

in sync sexually. Basically, he wanted The science world is revolutionizing, too, trying to figure out
it a lot more than she did, probably how to rebrand the G-spot into something more (and by “more,”
because she was still waiting for we mean actually) accurate. Whipple stands by her “area.” Italian
something...bigger. “I can have a cli- researchers have suggested renaming it the somewhat less sexy
toral orgasm,” she says. “But knowing “clitoral vaginal urethral complex.” Herbenick has her own ideas:
that there’s something better, I “First of all, it should not be named after a man. It’s a female body
“ I t d e p e n d s.”

wanted to experience that.” we’re talking about, and just because a man wrote about it doesn’t
The couple’s take-home tasks were mean he was the first to understand or experience it.” But anyway,
a checklist of “sexy” moves, designed she’d go with “zone.”
As for us, we’re going to kick off this new era with a 100 percent
G-spot-free piece of smarter, wiser sex advice, courtesy of Nagoski:
“If it feels good, you’re doing it right.” Call that whatever you want.

M a y 20 20 C o s m o p o l i t a n 1 01
 THIS PAGE
Christian Siriano dress.
Jimmy Choo heels.

OPPOSITE PAGE
Galvan dress. Philip Treacy
London hat.
 I t ’s t h e
end of an

So
what?
S a r a h H y l a n d h a s a l r e a d y r e a c h e d p e a k e v e r y t h i n g — s u c c e s s ( M o d e r n F a m i l y, e v e r

h e a r d o f i t ? ) , l o v e ( s h e ’s m a r r y i n g a f a n f a v e f r o m T h e B a c h e l o r e t t e , p e o p l e ! ) , a n d s e l f - l o v e

( w e ’ l l g e t t o t h a t ) — a n d n o w, a b o u t t o t u r n 3 0 , t h i n g s a r e j u s t g e t t i n g g o o d .

Fa s hi o n P h o t o g r a p hs Wo r d s

by by by

C A S S I E K E R RY H E L I N

A N D E RS O N H A L L I H A N J U N G

103
C O S M O P O L I TA N

M AY 2 0 2 0
 e Doritos an
n t th d
wa th
e
ou w
y

ed
n

di
he

ng
W

gow
n.
Everything
about this story
is so L.A. Sarah’s not freaking out about
it. Maybe because she’s kind of in
denial. (“I don’t think I’m process-
ing,” she says. “I haven’t really felt
the sadness yet.”) Or maybe
For starters, at this very moment, Sarah Hyland is working because complex feels tend not to
on her “gratitudes.” We’re even having dinner at Café bubble to the surface in this
Gratitude, a plant-based restaurant with unironically industry literally built on first
named menu items like Thriving (broccoli soup) and Pure impressions. Maybe there’s too
(Asian kale and seaweed salad). Sarah orders both, then much judgy-ness in the air to
finishes a story about her energy healer, who, technically, is make it safe to open up to a
Lucy Hale’s energy healer, who Sarah started seeing last stranger with a voice recorder.
summer to rebalance her vibrational levels. At this expert’s Maybe it’s just too sunny.
direction, Sarah now wakes up each morning and says Or maybe it’s because Sarah’s
things like “I put myself first” and “I’m grateful to have two character didn’t get the ending
legs to walk on” to any vibes listening. she deserved. Watch the final
She knows that what she says next (and also that thing season, you’ll see: Haley suddenly
she literally just said) (and also what she just ordered) has less screen time. It all came as
might make you think she’s “crazy-hippie-dippie,” buuut a surprise and disappointment,
the energy healer told her that her sacral chakra is broken, tbh. Sarah wishes audiences
so she sort of has to put her focus here. “‘Your heart chakra, could’ve seen Haley “own her
I’ve never seen so many barriers and chains around it,’” badassery in the fashion world—
quotes Sarah. “‘Your self-love is so depleted. Your energy becoming a badass stylist or
could be so much higher than it is right now.’” brand mogul or anything like
There’s also this: As of April 8, Sarah Hyland is officially that.” Instead, they got a new
An Out-of-Work Actor. For more than a decade, she played mom of twins. No offense to
Haley Dunphy, the wry, spacey elder daughter of Phil and moms, of course: “There are so
Claire, on one of TV’s biggest sitcoms. It was the rare net- many amazing mothers who are
work show that became part of the zeitgeist—everyone you also hard workers and excel at
know has watched Modern Family at some point—making their jobs and kill it every day in
the fact that it’s over kind of a huge fucking deal. both aspects,” Sarah explains.
“That would have been a really
cool thing to see, especially from
someone like Haley.”
Listen, behind-the-scenes
tension between cast and crew
is as Hollywood as Lucy Hale’s
energy healer, but Sarah’s not one
to dwell on what might have been.
She wasn’t a writer or producer on
Markarian NYC dress. Roger Vivier the show, she tells me about three
heels. Vhernier earrings.

M a y 20 20 C o s m o p o l i t a n 1 05
 “With Modern Family ending,

i t ’s l i k e , ‘ O h , g r e a t . I ’m n e v e r g o i n g

t o w o r k a g a i n . I ’m g o i n g t o h a v e

to sell everything and live

out of a

s h o e b o x .’”
 To wit, she doesn’t really think
about crafting a Sarah Hyland
“brand,” not even on social
media, because she can’t help but There was a time when Sarah’s
be herself. “What you see is what health issues—kidney dysplasia,
you get,” she says, but literally, endometriosis, and a hernia—
and what you see “is most likely a might have held her back from
times with a matter-of-fact tone,
really annoying, loud, opinion- this booked-solid future. Or at
a shrug, and a bite of salad.
ated, brash, most-of-the-time- least made her feel like she had
She’s also not really prone to
disgusting human creature.” to cover up what she’s been
the between-gigs anxiety that
Then again, this is L.A., and through. “I think a lot of people
plagues her peers. This is just the
this is an L.A. story, and so the hide their struggles because they
way it is, you know? “The thing as
heroine does glam herself up don’t want to be seen as weak.
an actor,” she says, “is it’s like,
from time to time, and the hero- They want to seem like every-
Will I have a job tomorrow? With
ine does have plans to beef up her thing’s perfect,” she says. But as
Modern Family ending, it’s like,
IMDb and solidify her status as you know by now, she’s not inter-
Oh, great. I’m never going to work
an industry fixture. She’s got her ested in the “highlight reel on the
again. I’m going to have to sell
eye on producing. She wants to internet” life. She cares about the
everything and live out of a shoe-
act in dramatic roles, movie real one, even when it hurts.
box.” Sarah’s chill might come
musicals, period pieces. “I want Or when it’s weird and com-
from the fact that she’s been there
to wear a corset,” she says. “I pletely unrealistic, like that time
before: She and her family used to
want to not be able to breathe.” she found her fiancé on The
live together in a 300-square-foot
Bachelorette.
New York City apartment with a
No, Sarah was not a contestant
bathtub in the kitchen. Her dad
on the show—she was home with
“had to travel the country to do
her dog on the couch in her
any type of regional theater to put
sweats like the rest of us. And like
food on the table,” she says.
OPPOSITE PAGE the rest of us, she thought Wells
Today, he’s playing Dumbledore Haney dress. Forevermark earrings.
in Harry Potter and the Cursed THIS PAGE
Child on Broadway. The Gringotts Monique Lhuillier gown. René Caovilla
heels. Vhernier earrings.
vault is full.
Staying grounded is all relative
when you earned six figures per
episode on your sitcom’s final
season. (For the record: It’s
reported that Sarah got more
than $100,000 per episode.
There were 18 episodes, so yeah.)
Still, she likes to shop at Urban
Outfitters, where she bought the
red snakeskin-print button-up
she’s wearing to dinner. She
says she actually finds Urban’s
prices too expensive some-
times—which, relatable. She’s
also carrying a Dior saddle bag,
which is less relatable, but buy-
ing it was a whole event. She was
in Paris to film an episode of
Modern Family: “I was like, I
can’t go to Paris and not buy
something. I never buy myself
anything expensive.”

M a y 20 20 C o s m o p o l i t a n 107
 Vera Wang Bride gown.
Yvan Tufenkjian earrings.
Victoria Grant hat. Beats
Solo3 Wireless headphones.

Hair: Ryan Richman at Starworks

Artists using Suave
Professionals. Makeup: Allan
Avendano at Starworks Artists
using Chanel Les Beiges.
Manicure: Thuy Nguyen at
Starworks Artists using Essie.
Props styled by Bette Adams
at Mary Howard Studio.
Production: Crawford
Productions.

Adams, he of season 12 fame, was

cute. So she tweeted about him.
This is when the freeze-frame
drops and a voice-over says: “And
that’s how our love story began.”
Wells slid into her DMs, which
turned into text messages,
which turned into voice memos,
which eventually turned into
actual calls, which turned into
FaceTimes and, finally, an IRL
date. “It’s the most millennial
thing in the entire world,” Sarah
says. “I kind of want to gag at it.”
The rest of their rom-com—you
know, the one where the protago-
nist makes eyebrow-raising moves
that in real life would scare some-
one away—goes like this: They
went on all of two dates before she
had to undergo her second kidney
transplant, but Wells flew from
Nashville to L.A. to see her on
weekends while she was in recov-
ery, even though all her family
was there. (Imagine meeting your
S.O.’s parents on your third date.
Imagine meeting your S.O.’s par-
ents before they’re officially your
S.O.) A month into dating, they
were literally telling each other
they were falling in love. (Which,
yes, is exactly what happens on
The Bachelorette.) (Bachelorette what kinds of weddings we wanted four days after we made things official,”
but make it Grey’s Anatomy.) she says. (Cue wedding-planning montage.) “I hate that typical cliché of ‘when
If you think Sarah was waiting you know, you know,’ but it’s so fucking true. At least it was for me.”
for a rose though, lol: “I asked No couple is perfect, even the ones in a real-life rom-com. Except maybe
him when he was going to ask this one? Sarah and Wells have never had a fight fight, she says on reflection,
me to be his girlfriend,” she says. which sounds like the sort of thing some, um, women’s magazine would call a
“I’m impatient.” red flag. They still haven’t had a “major blowout” in their nearly three years
Things only ramped up from together. Wells is a communicator, Sarah explains, a role she’s used to playing.
there. “We were talking about “This is the first time I’ve been in a relationship where I’m like, How am I the
 “What you see is what
you get, which is most
likely a really annoying,

loud,
o p iniona t e d,
brash, most-of-the-time-
disgusting human
c r e a t u r e .”
F O R S H O P P I N G I N F O R M AT I O N , G O TO C O S M O P O L I TA N .C O M .

child in the relationship? I’ve always been the adult,” she says. “So it’s mostly
me having to work on my shit.” That includes her temper. But to be fair, she’s
on a prescription that causes mood swings. “I have to take a step back and be
like, Is this actually upsetting you? Or is this, like, the medication?” making me look fat right now.” But
And that, it turns out, is the most L.A. thing about all this: the plot twist. that last part is BS. She knows it.
Forget what you think you know about her, about young women, about young “I’m aware of everything I need to
women in Hollywood—Sarah is ruthlessly self-aware. At a level that would work on, and I know the steps to
make anyone, let alone image-obsessed La-La Land, bow down. get there,” she says with pretty
“There have been days when I’m either like, I’m gonna wear my tightest legit conviction. First step: “Look
jeans and a fucking bra—I don’t care if I get papped because I look fucking good, in the mirror and say, ‘Bitch, you
or, Is there anything I own that’s looser? Because even these sweatpants are got this.’”

M a y 20 20 C o s m o p o l i t a n 1 09
 W h a t, y o u d o n’t w e a r a f r i n g e -f i l l e d a n o r a k w i t h m a t c h i n g b o o t s a n d s h a d e s t o
F a s h i o n b y C A S S I E A N D E RS O N
p i c k u p y o u r g r o c e r i e s? We l l, w h y t h e f u c k n o t ? B l e n d i n g i n h a s i t s b e n e f i t s, I ’m s u r e,
P h o t o g r a p h s b y R A M O N A R O S A L E S b u t...w h a t a r e t h e y a g a i n? B r e a k o u t Fa r g o s t a r K e l s e y A s b i l l e d o e s n’t k n o w, a n d
Wo r d s b y R AC H E L TO R G E RS O N n e i t h e r s h o u l d y o u.
W E AT H E R
A P P R O P R I AT E

Okay, it’s still kinda

cold outside, but that
doesn’t mean you
have to bundle up in
a bunch of random
sweats! Go for this
Luxe Big Bird lewk
instead, because
those veggies in your
tote won’t take them-
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they prefer designer.

Dior anorak, shirt,

boots, sunglasses,
necklaces, ring,
and tote.

Re usable
b

ag
bu
tm
ake it Di
or
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 YA A A S , H E AV Y
M E TA L S
Even someone
shopping for a
shit ton of cords
(literally why
would anyone
need so many?
Kelsey, let’s
chat) deserves to
sparkle.

Prada jacket and skirt.

Fenty earrings.

Time to hammer
this point home
(l o l, n o t s r y ): g o l d =
he ad-turning = go o d.
T E D Ta l k c o m p l e t e .

BEAUTY BONUS
Spritz on Garnier
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$4, for hair so shiny
that it’s extra too.

1 1 2 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 W h a t ? Yo u d o n’t t r e a t y o u r l o c a l
diner like the backdrop of
a s u r p r i s e p h o t o s h o o t ? We i r d .
O PP OS I T E PAG E: LO C AT I O N: GA R B ER H A R DWA R E.
T H I S PAG E: LO C AT I O N: L A BO N BO N N I ERE.

ADD IT ALL UP
Just wear all the
statement pieces
at the same time.
Context be
damned.

Louis Vuitton dress, top,

pants, loafers, earrings,
brooch, belt, and bag.
 W H AT C E N T U RY
EVEN IS IT?
Mix and match
time p erio ds
b e cause you’re
not on anyone
else’s sche dule!
Je ans and a
Vict orian-era
g ow n wor n as
a dust er is your
prero gative, and
don’t let anyone
t e ll you dif f ere nt.

Brock Collection dress

and jeans. Jimmy Choo
sandals. Of Rare Origin
earrings and necklace.

B e t he f lowe r
st and you want t o
se e in t he wor ld.

1 1 4 C o s m o p o l i t a n M a y 20 20
 L o o k l i k e a b a d a s s—e v e n i f y o u ’r e

swipe of Dior Rouge Dior Ultra

j u s t m a i l i n g a l e t t e r—w i t h a
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C a r e i n B l o o m, $ 3 8.

FORMAIL EVENT
( W O W, I ’M T H E
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This Tax Day
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any other Tax
Day outfit.
Let’s change that.
#MoreGownsOnTax
Day2020

Valentino dress,
sandals, and belt.
Rebecca de Ravenel
earrings. Sonia
Boyajian ring.
 CO NSPIR ACY
SLEEVES
I’m not hiding
anything. Or
am I? Not your
business!

Gucci top, dress,

pants, hat, and belt.
Kenneth Jay Lane
earrings.

Hair: Michael Thomas Lollo at Atelier Management using R+Co. Makeup: Daniel
Martin at The Wall Group using Dior Beauty. Manicure: Shirley Cheng at See
Management using Zoya.
 O ka y, but are we g o nna t alk
ab out how t his laundr y b aske t
t hing lo oks like o ne of t hose
old-tim ey p ast oral swings?

MAKE CHORES
PING INFORMATION, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM.

FA B U L O U S A G A I N
T H I S P A G E : L O C A T I O N : A B C L A U N D R Y . F O R S H O P-
OPPOSITE PAGE: LOCATION: CASA MAGAZINES.

Doing laundr y:
t errible, hat e it.
We aring a st un-
ning f loral jacket
cuz all my st uf f ’s
dir t y: amazing. Any
questions?

Fendi coat, socks, heels,

and rings. Nausheen
Shah x Monica Sordo
earrings.
 A g ir ls’ t r i p? I n
t his e c o n o my?

Our
friends are
amazing.

118
C O S M O P O L I TA N

M AY 2 0 2 0
 But
our frıendships
suck.
An unpopular (but really popular) opinion.

Words by E M M A BAT Y

Photographs by R U B E N C H A MO R RO

Illustrations by K A T I E BU CK LEITN ER

G o o d l u c k c o nv in c in g
e v e r y o n e e ls e!
H o n e s t l y,
there are too
m a n y e xa m p l e s
t o c o u n t.
But here’s one: T h e T h u r s d a y b e f o r e S a i n t Pa t r i c k ’s
D a y, I w a l k e d o u t o f a w o r k m e e t i n g, l o o k e d d o w n a t
L o o k, w e l o v e
e a c h o t h e r!
m y p h o n e, a n d s a w 8 5—o h, w a i t, 9 2—n e w m e s s a g e s

i n t h e g r o u p c h a t. M y f r i e n d s a n d I w e r e a b o u t t o

s p e n d a w e e k e n d i n B o s t o n, a n d t h i s w a s t h e u n i q u e

h e l l t h a t i s p l a n n i n g a g i r l s’ t r i p (o r d i n n e r o r p a r t y

o r b r u n c h o r f i t n e s s c l a s s) i n 2 0 2 0.

Whitney had DM’d a picture of the

Whitney was wondering if we were
going out or staying in on Friday
night. Lilly was reminding us to
pack something green and also
being That Friend about happy-
hour plans: “How poor do we really
want to be after drinking mediocre
mimosas?” Lindsey had the same
questions, except about dinner.
There were a lot of taco emoji.
When I got back to my desk,
I had I don’t even remember how
many 1:1 messages on Gchat. Lind-
sey was still asking about food (yes,
I’ll grab some snacks) and bus sched-
ules (yes, I’ll meet you at the station).
Lilly was seconding my complaints
about drama that shall remain
unnamed. Then an email with a
weekend itinerary rolled in…and
somehow already had three replies.
On Snapchat, two friends who
couldn’t make it were OMG so sad.
I sent a quick “Wish you both
could be there!!” pouty-face selfie
before checking Instagram, where
bar where we’d be hanging out on
Saint Paddy’s. I wrote the perfunc-
tory “Sooo excited!”
Some might call this exhausting.
For most of us, it’s just friendship.
M y b e st g u e s s is t h a t i t h a p p e n e d
s o m ew h e r e b e t we e n S ex a n d
t h e Ci t y a n d s o c i a l m e d i a.
This idea that our friends aren’t
supposed to be just friends—they’re
also supposed to be our chosen
family, our perma wedding dates,
the on-call crew that hand-delivers
thoughts and prayers during every
Bad Bangs Crisis (a boyfriend could
never). This idea that if you can’t
always be there for your many BFFs,
you suck.
C a us e o f d e a t h:
my g r o u p c h a t.
Look, I don’t want to be that bitch,
but I’m gonna go ahead and throw
some blame at all the IRL squads
first spawned by Carrie Bradshaw &
Co. Especially the aspirational ones
(ahem, Taylor Swift and friends).
Post after post after post of the
perfect group hang effectively
shoved the idea of “happily ever
after” but make it friendship down
our throats.
Nothing reinforces what these
relationships should look like
more than all the “real people”
doing them on Insta. Friendspo
(see also: jealousy, envy, and gag
me) is everywhere, so insanely
photogenic and edited that the
images of our friendships have
come to feel more important than
the friendships themselves. Ask me
about the time my friends and I

1 20 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 those people anymore. We live all
over the country now—New York,
Colorado, Arkansas. Our relation-
T his pic b r o u g h t t o yo u
by l o t s o f c h a m p a g n e. ship statuses range from about-to-
swear-off-Hinge to about-to-get-
engaged. We’re at different places
The in our careers. One of us is a proud
im
ag parent—to a golden retriever. We’ve
es changed, but the expectation is that
feel more i
m

of
po our friendships won’t. It feels all-or-

ou
nothing, like you can’t quit one

rt

rf
an
friend without quitting them all.

rie
tt

nd
ha
I ’m n o t s a y i n g t h a t yo u

sh
n th
*s h o u l d* q ui t t h e m a l l…b u t

ips
e m a y b e s o m e? B e f o r e yo u @ m e:

ha
fri

ve
en Clinical psychologist Karen

waited in line for hours (fine, at
least 45 minutes) for a photo op at
the Skydeck in Chicago. Or the time
we all finally got together that one
weekend only so we could get The
Group ShotTM and pretty much dis-
perse immediately. But you know,
we are #blessed!
We’r e a ls o t i r e d. S o t i r e d. A l l
t h e t ex t i n g, t we e t i n g, t a g g i n g,
c h a t t i n g, L i k i n g, D M’i n g, a n d
what else did I miss? make this feel
less like platonic bliss and more like
(unpaid) work—at which we’re
always falling short. Did I comment
“so pretty” the appropriate amount
of times on Lindsey’s posts? Was my
Insta Story birthday tribute long
enough? When I asked 3,000 Cosmo
readers to weigh in before I started
co
m
ds
McDowell, PhD (truly sorry, guys,
e
hi
to but I do need backup for this part),
ps
th
em tells me that the squad mentality
se
lve has warped our friendships in a
s.
way that gives each person equal
status—but that instead of rolling
deep with a gang of “BFFs,” we’d
be better off focusing on just a few
deep connections.
That would sort of solve every
problem, if you think about it. When
I nervously brought this idea up to
a few people, I was surprised to
find out they were already there.
One friend of a friend admitted to
straight-up quitting her chats.
She didn’t stress about being left
out, and she still got the birthday
writing this hot take, more than half
party and beach getaway invites
said their female friendships give
she actually wanted.
them anxiety. Yeah, that.
Another woman was playing a
“Our friendships as adults have
sort of genius-sounding long game
reached a confusing place,” says
that, TBH, might be worth sharing
clinical psychologist Miriam
with your chats before you leave
Kirmayer, PhD, a friendship expert
them (or mute them for a while):
and person I called because I’m
“You don’t need to ‘end’ a friendship
just too drained to keep this rant
like you would a romantic relation-
going without professional help.
ship. You make friends, grow apart
“There’s a constant expectation
from friends, and sometimes come
that we need to be doing more,
back together with old friends. No
seeing more people, chatting more
need to overdramatize it.”
often—and that can bring with it an
Hear that? That’s the sound of me
immense sense of self-pressure.”
putting my phone on silent and
That pressure doesn’t only make
slowly…walking…away.
our friendships seem performa-
tive—it also keeps us in endless
orbit with people we might have
otherwise outgrown. I met my
current besties when we were
pledging a sorority, but we aren’t

M a y 2020 C o s m o p o lit a n 1 21
 ar t ex hibit yo
An uc
a

n
ac
tua
l l y r e l a t e t o.

122
OF

Words by

M AY 2 0 2 0
THE

Photographs by

C O S M O P O L I TA N
RUBY BUDDEMEYER

Photographed at
ROSALINE SHAHNAVA Z
a woman and her tub.

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C A N N I B A T H
E ST. 2 019 W H EN SOM EON E WA N T ED T O GET
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124
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126
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T H E

A D U L T B A T H
E S T. 2 01 2 A F T E R A WOM A N PA I D OF F H E R CR E DI T-
CARD BILL AND DELETED HER EX’S NUMBER
t h e l ast p a g e

I n my
night st a n d
Daniel Radclif fe’s nightstand
is high - key chaotic. The
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
star is also ready for ghosts,
so there’s that. Oh, and he’s
gonna show this page to his
mom. Hi, Daniel’s mom!
By MADELEINE FRANK REEVES

Th
e

bo
y
who live d star
ed

re
di

ctl
yi .
nto my soul

I WOULDN’T
WA N T MY M O M
TO FI N D…

MY OVER ALL If I didn’t want her to

NIGHTSTAND find it, why would I
VIBE say it here?! She will
definitely read this. WHAT I STEAL
Cluttered and over-
FROM MY
flowing. It’s a mess,
MY SNACK PA R T N E R ’S S I D E
and I’d be lying if I
SITUATION Her moisturizer
said I could navigate
it. Thank you for If there are any in
asking me to do this there, they’re buried
interview, by the deep and in a very
way—it has really advanced state of
drawn into focus decay, so I’m proba- H OW I WA K E U P
how urgently I need bly better off never I have two alarms,
to get organized. finding them. both labeled in all
caps so I’m shouting
Hey! WHAT’S IN THERE at myself.
ib e”
x t “ s ubscr AT ALL TIMES
Te 17 7
to 77 mag
PA U L W E T H E R E L L / T R U N K A R C H I V E .

t t his A crystal dagger,

t o g e m o nt h. which I use to kill WHAT’S ON TOP
ever y
AG E
AND
ATA
D
LY.
ghosts! A light. My keys.
MESS Y APP
S MA
R AT E
And a random pile
of change.

1 28 C o s m o p o lit a n M a y 2020
 SOFT ON THE OUTSIDE. SOFT ON THE INSIDE.
D E CA D E N T A L L OV E R .

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