1. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ?

Don't worry sir that spider on your bread will soon get him !
2. Waiter, do you have frogs legs ?
No sir, I've always walked like this.
3. Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
4. Waiter, this egg is bad
Don't blame me sir, I only laid the table !
5. Waiter, there is a fly in the butter !
Yes sir, it's a butterfly!
6. Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup.
Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water.
7. Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup !
Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !
8. Waiter, there is a dead fly swimming in my soup !
Don't be silly, dead flies can't swim !
9. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Surely not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much
about.
10. Waiter, this soup tastes funny !
Then why aren't you laughing ?
11. Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
12. Waiter, this coffee is terrible, it tastes like earth !
Yes sir, it was ground yesterday !
13. Waiter, there's a caterpillar on my salad
Don't worry sir, there is no extra charge.
14. Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup.    Send for the
manager!                                                                                              
               
It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.
15. Waiter, there is a dead fly on my steak !
I don't know sir, perhaps it died after tasting it !
16. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Yes sir, he's committed insecticide
17. Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my salad?
Not him again, he's in here every night !
18. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
What do you expect for 20 Rupees, a beetle ?
19. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Just you wait until you see the main course !
20. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.
21. Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ?
Skiing sir !
22. Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner?
Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.
23. Waiter, there is a small slug in this lettuce
I'm sorry sir, would you like me to get you a bigger one ?
24. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
25. Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
Yes sir, it's the heat that kills them !
26. Waiter, there is a beetle in my soup !
Sorry sir, we're out of flies today !
27. Waiter, there is a wasp in my pudding !
So that's where they go in winter !
28. Waiter, there is a slug in my salad !
Sorry madam, no pets allowed !
29. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
30. Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup !
It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !
31. Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup ?
It looks like it's learning to swim sir
32. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
33. Waiter, do you have frogs legs !
Yes sir
Well hop off into the kitchen and bring my meal then please !
34. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.
35. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.
36. Waiter, why is there a fly in my ice cream ?
Perhaps he likes winter sports !
37. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
38. Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup!
Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading.
39. Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !
I can't do that sir, he's not had his main course yet !
40. Waiter, bring me something to eat and make it snappy
How about a crocodile sandwich sir !
41. Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
42. Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !
43. Waiter, there are two flies in my soup !
That's alright sir, have the extra one on me !
44. Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
Oh no, who will look after his family !
45. Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for 5 rupees - a live one?
46. Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
It's fly soup sir!
47. Waiter, what is this bug doing on my wives shoulder!
I don't know - friendly thing isn't he !
48. Waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them !
49. Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !
50. Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.
51. Waiter, there's a fly in my custard !
I'll fetch him a spoon sir !
52. Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !
53. Waiter, there is a slug in my salad !
I'm sorry sir, I didn't realise you where a vegetarian !
54. Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.
55. Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?
56. Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup !
Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

Entry from March 02, 2009

“Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!”

"Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!” is an old joke, with many punchlines. The
joke is first cited in 1872 and was frequently told in the 1880s. In the late
1888s, the slang phrase “in the soup” was briefly added as a punchline.

In 1960, the question was phrased: “Waiter! What’s this fly doing in my
soup?” The waiter’s answer was “swimming” or “the backstroke.” This joke is
sometimes attributed to a Lindy’s waiter at that classic New York City
restaurant, but the joke was probably invented by a New York comedian who
ate at Lindy’s.

YouTube
Spike Milligan Fly in My Soup

Making of America
13 August 1872, Appletons’ Journal, pg. 140, col. 1:
Guest — “How comes this dead fly in my soup?”
Waiter — “In fact, sir, I have no positive idea how the poor thing came to its
death. Perhaps it had not taken any food for a long time, dashed upon the
soup, ate too much of it, and contracted an inflammation of the stomach that
brought on death. The fly must have a very weak constitution, for when I
served the soup it was dancing merrily on the surface. Perhaps — and the
idea presents itself only at this moment — it endeavored to swallow too large
a piece of vegetable; this, remaining fast in his throat, caused a choking in
the windpipe. This is the only reason I could give for the death of this insect.”

(Also printed in the April 12, 1872 Oregonian—ed.)

18 June 1881, Fort Wayne (IN) Daily Gazette, pg. 6, col. 1:

“Here’s a fly in my soup, waiter.” “Yes, sir; very sorry, sir, but you can throw
away the fly and eat the soup, can’t you?” “Of course, I can; you don’t expect
me to throw away the soup and eat the fly, did you?”

17 October 1885, Newport (RI) Mercury, pg. 7, col. 5:

A Mere Suggestion.
“Look here, waiter, quick,” called out a gentleman in an Austin restaurant.
“What is it, sir?”
“Here is a dead fly in my soup.”
“So I see. It seems to be quite dead.”
“Well, by Thunder, I want you to understand that I consider it an outrage.”
“I am sorry, sir, but if you are opposed to eating dead animals, you should
patronize one of the vegetarian restaurants.”—Texas Siftings.

28 November 1886, Chicago (IL) Daily Tribune, pg. 7:

Jakey — “Fader, dere’s a fly in dor soup.”
Mr. Cohn — “Vell, eat all but der fly before you show it to der waiter; den you
can get some more.”

17 February 1887, Life, pg. 100:

Customer (in restaurant): “Waiter, isn’t it strange that I should find several
flies in my soup?”
Waiter (somewhat amazed): “It is strange at this season of the year.” —
Harper’s Bazaar.

13 December 1888, Life, pg. 336:

Customer (to waiter): I say, waiter, confound you, there’s a fly in this soup!
Waiter (amazed): Well, I do decla’, ef it yain’t surprisin’! Eberything seems to
be gittin’ in de soup nowadays.
(This and the following joke play upon the then-popular phrase “in the
soup”—ed.)

2 March 1890, Spirit Lake (Iowa) Beacon, pg. 2, col. 5:

Too particular.
“Here, waiter! There’s a fly in this soup.”
“Wall, Lord ‘a’ massy, mistah—whad do you want? A Presidential candidate?—
Puck.

17 April 1894, Logansport (IN) Reporter, pg. 2, col. 4:

A Troublesome Insect.
Diner—I say, waiter, there’s a fly in this soup.
Waiter—Glad to know it, sah. We’se been tryin’ to kill dat are fly fo’ seben
weeks.—Judge.

5 December 1907, Massillon (OH) Evening Independent, pg. 6:

Explained Away.
He was staring fixedly at his soup, or, rather, at a foreign body which floated
upon the surface thereof. Presently he drew forth a pocket magnifying glass
and examined the thing still more critically.

“Waiter,” he shouted, “what does this mean? Here’s a fly in my soup!”

The waiter bent obsequiously forward and examined the derelict which floated
on that greasy ocean.

“Bless your heart, sir,” he exclaimed, “that ain’t no fly! It’s only a bit of dirt!”

And yet that diner left the restaurant, another striking example of sour
unreasonableness.

7 February 1911, Cedar Rapids (Iowa) Evening Gazette, pg. 4, col. 4:

“Here, waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.”
“Serves the brute right. He’s been buzin’ round here all mornin’.”—Life.

25 June 1911, Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer, pg. 6:

POSITIVELY AERIAL.
“Waiter!”
The disgusted cry rang through the restaurant and brought the sleepy waiter
to his feet.
“Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!”
The sleepy waiter approached, rubbed his eyes, bent his head over the
steaming plate, made a minute investigation of its contents, and declared:
“Yes, sir. I’m afraid there is.”
“Well, well,” said the diner angrily, “don’t stand there staring! Remove it at
once!”
“Remove it, sir?” said the sleepy waiter, rubbing his forehead. “The fly, sir?”
“No, you idiot!” roared the diner. “Remove the soup!”
“Oh, yes sir! Certainly, sir!” answered the sleepy waiter. “And shall I leave
the fly, sir?”

5 February 1919, Ruthven (Iowa) Free Press, pg. 3, col. 1:

JOKE ON TY COBB
Lots of professional baseball players pride themselves on their gift of
repartee, but out on the road even the smartest of them are beaten at that
sort of game.

Ty Cobb, king of players in the business, smart as he is, was tripped up by an

ordinary waiter.

In a small New York hotel one day Ty loudly called the attention of a waiter to
a fly in his soup.

“Very true, my dear Mr. Cobb,” said the waiter, “but why should you worry
when there is not a chance in the world of your catching it?”

18 August 1928, Salt Lake Tribune (Salt Lake City, UT), pg. 6, col. 6:
“I say, waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!”
“Surely not, sir; maybe it’s one of those vitamin bees you read so much
about.”—Iowa Frivol.

Google Books
To Make Better Provision for the Government of the Military and Naval Forces
of the United States by the Suppression of Attempts to Incite the Members
Thereof to Disobedience
By Committee on Military Affairs
Published by , 1935
Pg. 86:
THE ENLISTED WORKER—FOR ENLISTED MEN BY ENLISTED MEN
[Weekly—May 27, 1933]
SAILOR. What’s that fly doing in my soup?
COOKIE. That’s no fly. That’s the Roosevelt daily meat ration.

31 August 1937, Lowell (MA) Sun, “All in a Day” by Mark Hellinger, pg. 6, col.
5:
Variation
As soon as he entered the restaurant, writes Wilbur Hatch, the chronic
grumbler began to complain. When the soup reached him, he gave out the
usual yell.

“Hey, waiter,” he cried, “there’s a fly in my soup.”

But the waiter was fast on the trigger.

“Grab your fork,” he advised. “Maybe a trout will come to the surface!”

9 March 1960, Capital Times (Madison, WI), pg. 29, col. 3:

FUN TIME
The Chuckle Box
Customer: What’s this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: I should say it’s swimming, sir.

20 July 1960, Berkshire (MA) Eagle, pg. 26, col. 7:

Diner: What’s that fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: The backstroke, I think.

4 August 1960, National Road Traveler (Cambridge City, IN), pg. 6, col. 3:
Irritated patron in restaurant: What is this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter, peering closely into the soup bowl: The breaststroke, sir!

28 January 1961, Capital Times, pg. 23, col. 3:

FUN TIME
The Chuckle Box
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That’s all right. We won’t charge you for it.

Google News Archive

7 January 1962, St. Petersburg (FL) Times, “My Favorite Jokes” by Herkie
Styles (Herman Silverman), Parade magazine, pg. 18:
There was this man in a restaurant and he said to the waiter: “What’s this fly
doing in my soup? And the waiter replied, “The backstroke.”

22 September 1969, Dallas (TX) Morning News, “It happened Last Night” by
Earl Wilson, section A, pg. 19:
Tales of Lindy’s Waiters Revived
NEW YORK—WIth the closing of famous Lindy’s Restaurant for at least a
month’s renovation before reopening as part of Longchamps, there’s be much
reminiscing about the celebrated Lindy’s waiters who were heroes (or villains)
of the Broadway stories beginning “What’s that fly doing in my soup?” ending
with “I think it’s the backstroke.”

31 March 1975, New York (NY) Times, “About New York: East Side, West
Side” by John Corry, pg. 37:
“This guy went into a restaurant and said, ‘Waiter, what s this fly doing in my
soup?’ “‘I don’t know; the waiter said, `the backstroke, I think.’”

A Perfect World
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?
Using silliness as a diversion from nonsense. No that is not the punchline.
One of my cartoon writing techniques is to play with a cliche or very old joke.
I’ve been having fun with the fly in the soup joke.

Standard joke:
Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?
The backstroke.

Variations:
Waiter, what’s this fly doing on my soup bowl?
He’s the lifeguard.

Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

That’s stew not soup.

Circle of Food
Waiter, There’s a Fly in My Soup
Published by Karyn Zoldan February 13th, 2009 in Food Organizations, Food
Safety, Food for Thought.
According to this loss-of-appetite provoking article in the New York Times,
that would not be cause for alarm especially using the most recent FDA
standards.

Here’s the shocker: The FDA actually “condones” a small percentage of bugs,
rodents, mold, and maggots in the food supply.

Yech. Gross.