The Life We Couldve

The Life We Could've Lived
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/46543999.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M, F/F
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa
Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa
Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor
Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda
Sakunosuke/Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki
Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Character: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sakaguchi Ango
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs),
Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edgar Allan Poe
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs),
Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou
Stray Dogs), Hirotsu Ryuurou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Francis Scott Key
Fitzgerald (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oguri Mushitarou (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Hunting Dogs Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Port Mafia
Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Original Female Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Teenage Dazai
Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Established Fyodor
Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol, Established Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan
Poe, Established Oda Sakunosuke/Sakaguchi Ango, Oda Sakunosuke
Lives (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - No Powers,
Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dazai-Typical Suicide References
(Bungou Stray Dogs), POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Self-Indulgent,
Protective Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Parental Ozaki Kouyou
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Stormbringer Light Novel Spoilers (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Wtf am I doing, Blushing Dazai
Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Blushing Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou
Stray Dogs), Bisexual Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Gay
Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Homophobia, Nakahara
Chuuya in Denial (Bungou Stray Dogs), severly, Pining Nakahara
Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization,
Love Confessions, Slow Burn, They're already dating but don't come to
terms that they actually love each other until later, Hurt/Comfort,
Misunderstandings, Pining Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs),
Parental Oda Sakunosuke, Pretty Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara
Chuuya Has Abandonment Issues (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fluff, Fluff and
Angst, Mostly Fluff, Dazai is just a little angsty, Dazai looses his ability,
Relationship Reveal
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of In and Out of the BSD HS AU
Stats: Published: 2023-04-16 Completed: 2023-06-30 Words: 22,127
Published: 2023-04-16 Completed: 2023-06-30 Words: 22,127
Chapters: 14/14

by Xena_Lemon
Summary
The first thing Dazai felt when he woke up was confusion. Not the kind of confusion you
feel when you can't solve a riddle. No, this was more like disorientation.
-
With every step he took, a piece of the puzzle fell into place. The photos lodged into the
edge of the mirror, the unknown but strangely familiar pieces of clothing thrown across the
room, and most surprisingly, the dark blue backpack sitting near the door.
---------
Or,
Dazai wakes up in the Highschool AU
Notes
This is my first fic ever so constructive criticism is welcome :)

Human again
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
The first thing Dazai felt when he woke up was confusion. Not the kind of confusion you feel
when you can't solve a riddle. No, this was more like disorientation.
The first thing he noticed was the fact that he was sleeping in a bed compared to his usual futon in
the agency dorm. Speaking of which, the room he was in looked nothing like the agency dorms.
The furniture and general layout of the room made it look more like a normal, lived-in bedroom
than a studio apartment.
As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he sat up in (his?) bed to get a better look at the room. But as
he propped himself up, he got this feeling like his body was strangely off.
The way his hair brushed the back of his neck at a slightly higher position. It was just off. It was as
if the proportions of his body were changed just barely to make it noticeable, but Dazai noticed.
He looked down at his body and the first thing he noticed was the lack of scars. Of course, some
didn't change, mostly on his lower arms, but all of his scars from stab wounds, bullets, and any
from past fights were nowhere to be found.
He slowly got out of bed and then noticed how he was just barely shorter. His body was slightly
thinner as it seemed he hadn't built up the small amount of muscle he accumulated over the years in
his multiple active demanding workforces.
Walking over to the full-length mirror on the other side of the room, Dazai slowly realized the
circumstances of his situation. With every step he took, a piece of the puzzle fell into place. The
photos lodged into the edge of the mirror, the unknown but strangely familiar pieces of clothing
thrown across the room, and most surprisingly, the dark blue backpack sitting near the door.
As his reflection fully comes into view, he notices again his lack of scars, especially around his
neck and torso. Specifically, the ones caused by a certain raven-haired doctor. After fully taking in
the state of his body, he deduces that he is about 17-18. Leaving the question of how that's even
possible, how any of this is possible, aside, he turns to inspect the photos.
The second he sees who is in the photos, he fully registers the gravity (haha) of this situation.
Staring at the photos in disbelief, multiple familiar pairs of eyes stare back at him. Charcoal black,
purplish-yellow, dark brown, and deep ocean blue eyes, eyes he knows all too well.
Some photos show the four in more casual clothes, some in what looks to be a school uniform.
Some photos are just of him and one of the other three, mostly him and a certain redhead who
looks to be just as short as he remembers. His hair is not as long, obviously with the fact that he
looks to be around the same age as Dazai.
A slight warmth fills his chest as he looks over the photos, capturing his friends' smiles, like the
universe had yet to take it away from them, to throw them into the fires of what this world can
bring. Akutugawa still held his stoic attitude but seemed to at least be able to produce a small smile
on his unmoving face. Atsushi still possessed the same glowing joy in his eyes. In fact, it seemed to
shine even brighter as the shadow of trauma from the orphanage was gone. Chuuya seemed to no
longer hold the looming weight of Arahabaki. But judging the scars littering Dazai's skin, some
things were left unchanged.
Reflecting again on the lack of Arahabaki's presence in Chuuya (Dazai could always tell, even in a
photo), he searches in himself for any sign of his own ability. It was one thing he noticed earlier,
he still definitely felt like himself. If anything, he felt more like himself, like he had actual life in
him. Like he was human.
So my ability was the problem all along. He chuckles to himself. As he discovered before, this
version of him still seemed to experience suicidal tendencies, for whatever reason it may be in this
world. He also officially concluded that he was in a parallel universe, albeit he didn't know how he
got here.
He would stay there contemplating his situation until he was interrupted by the sound of footsteps.
He could make out from the way the sound carried, he was definitely in some kind of apartment,
and judging by the sounds of what he supposed sounded like someone in a kitchen, he assumed it
wasn't an intruder, and thus concluded he didn't live alone.
He grabbed a random sweatshirt off the floor and threw it on. The sweater was extremely
comfortable for something that probably hasn't been washed. It was dark blue with a small
embroidered fish on the breast (gee, wonder who gave it to him).
He slowly opened the door as light from the hallway spilled into the room. He took one step down
the hall and immediately froze.
Turning around the corner stood a man with dark reddish hair, blue eyes, and slight stubble. That
man was Sakunosuke Oda.
"Oh, I was just about to come wake you up," He stated, apparently surprised to see Dazai up
already.
"Oda," Dazai whispers.
"Yeah?"
You're alive. What's going on. I missed you. There were so many things Dazai wanted to say at that
moment. "Good morning".
Did I Kill a God?
Chapter Summary
Turns out Dazai wasn't the only one confused that morning.
Chapter Notes
I think I'll officially update this every sunday

＼(´ ∇`)ノ
Hopefully that'll push me to make longer chapters (╥﹏╥)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------------
"What the fuck"
Chuuya has experienced a lot of strange things. From growing up on the streets to literally
watching another version of yourself melt, he thought he'd seen it all. But when Chuuya woke up
this morning he wasn't expecting this.
First thing waking up, he felt off. He was used to the looming shadow of Arahabaki at all moments
of the day (except for when a certain mackerel is around) and for once, it was completely gone. He
didn't know whether to feel relieved or worried.
Second, he is not in his room. The room is way smaller and the walls are plain, the usual artwork
he has hanging up in his room being absent.
Sitting up in what he would assume is his bed, he takes a look around the room. Pictures of
contents Chuuya could not see from the bed litter the walls and few surfaces. A few trophies sit on
a shelf above a small desk that has papers and books spread across it. Chuuya curses himself for
the mess that he supposes he caused. But what really catches his eye is the bright red backpack
sitting next to the desk.
Chuuya gets up to inspect the bag and desk. The first paper he notices is what looks to be a
schedule with his name on it. Before fully inspecting it, he turns to the backpack which appears to
be mostly empty except for a fresh notebook, a binder, and some pencils. Looking down at the
backpack, he notices how his hair doesn't seem to drape over his shoulder like it normally does.
Getting up a bit more hurriedly, he enters what looks to be an ensuite bathroom.
"What the fuck," Chuuya gasps as he studies his reflection.

Staring at himself in the mirror, he sees his 17-year-old self staring back.
Chuuya hears soft footsteps approach the bedroom door and is instantly put on edge. He quickly
turns into the bedroom to see who it is. The door slowly opens and any feeling of tension
disappears as the unknown person enters the room.
"Good morning lad," Kouyou enters softly, turning on the bedroom light.
Chuuya sighs in relief at the sight of Kouyou, "Good morning Ane-san."
"...."
"Excuse me?"
For the first time in quite a while, Chuuya feels true fear.
"Did you hit your head Chuuya?" Kouyou looks at Chuuya with worried eyes. Chuuya shakes his
head slowly and the worry is replaced with a more stern look, "Well I for one am very confused
then. I am your mother. I mean, I don't think I look that much like Kyoka. Even then, she's your
younger sister. Where did you get 'Ane-san' from?" Kouyou starts to question Chuuya.
"I-I'm sorry, I misspoke," Chuuya finally manages to spit out after listening to Kouyou's ramble. So
she's my mother, and Kyoka is my little sister? Chuuya ponders over his new revalation. He starts
to piece together all of the little notes he's gathered ever since he woke up and realizes this goes
way deeper than he thought.
"Are you sure you're okay lad?" Kouyou brings him away from his thoughts.
"Uh, yeah. Just tired." Chuuya tries to smile.
Kouyou looks at him questioningly before turning towards the door.
"Well wake up soon, you have a big day ahead of you," she says before closing the door. Chuuya
can only assume she means school. Judging by the backpack, schedule, and apparent age he has
been reverted to, today is the first day of his senior year of high school.
Chuuya doesn't know whether to be excited or nervous.
Is this what teenagers normally go through? Having had his entire childhood whisked away from
him and never fully getting to experience normal teenage life, Chuuya can't help but feel like this
was a second chance.
He walks over to the desk but stops as he notices the photos sitting on one of the shelves. He turns
to look at what seems to be a photo of two people and- Oh. It's him.
Chuuya picks up the photo to inspect it. He can just tell by the look in Dazai's eyes, he's different,
he's healthier. In fact, he looks pretty healthy himself as well. Something about the photo makes
Chuuya feel contempt like he has this nostalgia for the life he hasn't lived. Or maybe it's something
else.
Chuuya sets the photo down and continues his first course of action. He grabs the schedule off the
desk and immediately freezes on the first line.
"First Period - AP Chemistry - Mori Ougai"

DAZAI OSAMU
----------------
Dazai sat across from Oda as they both ate their breakfast in silence, Dazai occasionally looking up
at Oda as he reads something on his phone. It was a comfortable silence. Dazai couldn't remember
the last time he was this comfortable with someone else. The last time was probably those four
years ago with the same person.
"So, are you ready for today?" Oda breaks the silence.
"Mhm," Dazai hums, already have deduced that he's a senior in high school and today is the first
day.
"Don't forget your schedule, I set it on the counter," Oda adds.
"Ah, thanks," Dazai affirmed.
After finishing his breakfast, Dazai walks over to the counter and low and behold, a school
schedule with his name on it. He picks up the paper and immediately grimaces.
Already starting to understand where this is going, he continues down the list.
"Second Period - Theater - Edgar Poe & Nikolai Gogol"
"Third Period - Economics - Fukuzawa Yukichi"
"Fourth Period - AP Calculus - Kunikida Doppo"
"Fifth Period - Russian - Fyodor Dostoyevsky"
"Sixth Period - Lunch/Homeroom - Fukuzawa Yukichi"
"Seventh Period - English 12 - Edogawa Ranpo"
"Eighth Period - Health Science - Yosano Akiko"
Dazai stared at all of the familiar names listed on the schedule. Well, he thought to himself, this is
going to be interesting.
Chapter End Notes
Nikolai and Poe being theater teachers is so funny to me because they're like complete
opposites but they both fit the role. You'll get to see Chuuya's schedule next chapter :)
What a Way to Start a Morning
Chapter Summary
First period hasn't even started and things are already looking down
Chapter Notes
I finally wrote a chapter longer than 1k words :D
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------------
Grabbing what he assumed to be the school's uniform, Chuuya slowly assembled his outfit. A pair
of dark gray dress pants, a white button-down, a dark blue-ish tie, his signature choker (some
things really never change), and a red jacket to replace the deep blue blazer. He'd seen his other
self wear the same outfit in the pictures scattered across the room, so he assumed he should try to
not act suspicious and copied it down to a tea.
He grabbed his backpack and schedule and took a deep breath before looking in the mirror.
For the first time, Chuuya saw a normal human being staring back in his reflection.
As Chuuya opens the door, he finally gets to see the hallway outside his room. Three white doors,
besides his own, sit facing him. He assumes two are bedrooms and the singular door at one end of
the hall is a bathroom. He turns the other way to see a stairwell and a glimpse of the first floor.
Walking down the stairs, he notices the framed photos lining the wall. Photos of younger Kyoka,
him, and Kouyou. The sight of him living amongst a family creates this fuzzy warmth in his heart.
Family, something he always had to find a substitute for.
As he reaches the bottom step, Kyoka silently walks past, carrying a purple backpack with a bunny
keychain on it.
“Good morning Chuuya,” Kyoka nods to him before unlocking the front door.
“Ah, good morning Kyoka,” Chuuya manages to call out before Kyoka shuts the door.
“Her face doesn’t show it, but she’s definitely excited today,” Kouyou seems to appear behind
Chuuya. He can’t tell if it’s because he’s just not used to everything that he isn’t as good reflex-
wise, or he just never senses Kouyou as a threat, in his original universe and this one.
“Well, have a good day at school Chuuya,” Kouyou places a small kiss on his forehead before
shooing him out the door.
“What about breakfast-” he asks before noticing his open backpack, two small packages placed
gently in the bag. I really am losing my touch, aren’t I.
He steps out into the small sidewalk leading toward the driveway. A small black car is left parked
there and Chuuya finds what looks to be the matching keys in his bag. He clicks the keys and the
doors unlock. Okay, now to figure out wherever this school is. He pulls up a GPS on the phone he
finally figured out how to unlock, and starts driving toward what feels like an exciting trip and his
doom at the same time.
When Chuuya reaches the school, he finds a spot in the lot marked as ‘student parking’ and
prepares himself for whatever the fuck he’s going to experience today.
He enters the school without much difficulty and pulls the schedule out of his pocket.
“Second Period - Beginning Kinesiology - Hirotsu Ryuro" what.
"Third Period - Economics - Francis Fitzgerald"
"Fourth Period - AP Calculus - Kunikida Doppo"
"Fifth Period - Creative Writing - Mushitaro Oguri"
"Sixth Period - Lunch/Homeroom - Mori Ougai"
"Seventh Period - English 12 - Edogawa Ranpo"
"Eighth Period - Health Science - Yosano Akiko"
Most of the names on the list Chuuya recognized but didn't know very well. He obviously
recognized his boss's name, who he would not trust around children in his original universe,
Hirotsu, who is teaching gym of all things, and that Guild guy.
Brushing off the weird feeling of seeing the people he knows as teachers, which he can't wait to see
in person, he checks the room number on the schedule and finds his way to his first period.
By the time he reaches the classroom, sirens are going off in his head. He passes it off as nerves
but can't seem to shake the feeling that he's not going to have a good day and the reason is in this
room.
He enters the room and sees small groups of teenagers he doesn’t recognize, but by the way they
stare, they definitely know him. He ignores them as he continues to scan the room, no sign of Mori
yet, everything looks good- ah. Chuuya knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid him. They were
obviously friends, Chuuya mentally gags, but he was hoping he wouldn’t have to deal with this
bandaged fish so early in the morning.
Sitting with his head in his arms, Dazai Osamu, the one in fucking only. He wore the same outfit
Chuuya saw in some of the photos, a pair of dark gray dress pants, a deep blue sweater vest sat
over a white button-down, a dark blue-ish tie, and his signature bandages around what little you
could see of his wrists. Chuuya noticed how he wasn’t sporting his normal bandages around his
neck, being able to see the bare skin that would normally be hidden away by them was quite
different. Then again, he showed no sign of his usual scars that Chuuya had once seen from their
Port Mafia days.
Not wanting to deal with any bullshit, Chuuya sits at a table a few seats behind him, keeping an
eye on the well-known troublemaker. This for some reason caused a few looks as the kids from
before seemed almost confused. Chuuya couldn’t care less.
DAZAI OSAMU
----------------
Yes, Dazai saw Chuuya come into the room and sit behind him. And maybe he was a little
disappointed he didn’t sit somewhere where he would have a better view. Maybe he wanted the
redhead to sit next to him, so he could relish the sight of an even more human Chuuya. Chuuya
was already the most human Dazai thought anyone could be, so he was quite excited to see how
that could be stepped up. He always had this sort of admiration for Chuuya, even if that fact never
sees the light of day. But it is one thing, a fact. But all of those thoughts disappear as a certain
black-eyed boy enters the room.
Akutagawa’s eyes seem to go from deep, soulless black to burning charcoal as he sees his mentor.
He quickly makes his way over to Dazai’s seat, quickly glancing at Chuuya with a confused look,
before standing in front of him.
“May I sit here Dazai-san?” Akutagawa expectantly stares at Dazai while requesting the seat in an
almost army-like fashion.
“Mmm sure,” Dazai mumbles without looking up as Akutagawa quickly sits down next to him.
They sit there in silence as small hints of emotion flicker on Akutagawa’s face as if he’s arguing
with himself in his head. He suddenly turns to Dazai.
"Did you and Chuuya-san fight?" Akutagawa asks while glancing back at the redhead.
"Hm?" Dazai opens his eyes, caught off-guard by the strange question.
"I-I'm sorry, it's not my business. Forgive me for my rude-"
"Woah, calm down. It's fine. I was just wondering what gave you that idea," Dazai reassures him
slowly sitting up to give him his full attention.
Akutagawa glances back at the redhead before continuing, "Oh, w-well, it's just, you two always
sit next to each other. And yeah, you guys bicker and all that, but I don't think I've ever seen you
this distant while existing in the same room".
Dazai ponders over this new information, letting Akutagawa ramble. He forgot how enthusiastic
Akutagawa is with his former mentor, or whatever their relationship is in this universe. "I mean,
you haven't even looked at each other this entire time!" Akutagawa leans in, quietly exclaiming.
"Why would I need to talk to that slug," Dazai decides to pry for more information.
Akutagawa seems to be taken aback by the response. He shuffles around a bit, thinking of how to
respond to such an obvious question. "Dazai-san"—he hesitates— "He's your boyfriend".
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------------
Wrap me in bandages and call me Osamu because I want to fucking kill myself.
Chuuya thought this universe was turning out alright. He had a family, no ancient god tormenting
his body, and he was hoping he would be able to finally live a normal life. But the universe had
different plans for him.
Yes, Chuuya had been listening to their conversation. Call it eavesdropping, he didn’t care. There
were clearly more pressing matters at hand.
Chuuya stares in bewilderment at the pair before burying his face in his hands. Definitely not
because he can already feel the heat reaching his face. Of course not. He's not blushing, he's just
angry. Totally.
He peeks through his fingers to glance at the pair again and he sees Dazai- no that can’t be. He
swears he sees small hints of red lightly paint the other boy’s cheeks, but that can’t be possible.
Dazai Osamu doesn’t blush.
Chapter End Notes
Hirostu as a gym teacher is so funny to me.

Also Chuuya and Dazai already being in a relationship in this universe is going to
create so many situations I can't wait to write.
The Relief of Realizing You’re Not Alone
Chapter Summary
After realizing the two are actually dating in this universe, Dazai starts to question
some things he noticed. Also, it seems Dazai gave Mori some trouble last year. Dazai
applauds himself for it.
Chapter Notes
WE REACHED OVER 100 KUDOS

Thank you so much!!! This is my first fic and y'all don't realize how much this means
to me :D
As a reward, here's the next chapter early!
( this will also give me more time to make the next chapter even better ;) )
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Oh.
‘Oh’ was the only thing Dazai could think for that split second.
Dazai was used to being able to predict every and any outcome of every and any situation. Maybe
it was this moment where something actually caught him off guard that he didn’t realize the heat
reaching his face. Either way, he quickly brushed it off and composed himself before quickly
explaining to Akutagawa.
“Well of course I know that! I’m just saying we don’t have to always be together” Dazai sputters
out whatever excuse he could think up in that moment. “We should be able to take a break once in
a while,” Dazai explains quickly. Akutagawa looks at him worryingly and Dazai notices the silence
that follows as the students around them have a similar look.
But all heads turn to face the door as the man of the hour enters. Mori briskly walks into the room
before setting some papers down on the desk and sitting down. He sports his old white coat and a
dark grayish-blue dress shirt and tie. The outfit reminds Dazai of Mori’s days before becoming the
Port Mafia’s boss. He doesn’t know what to think of the resemblance.
Dazai glances over at the long but small table tucked into the corner and see’s what looks to be a
picture of this universe’s Mori and Elise. The photo is set in a sleek black frame next to the
computer. Something about the picture seems more, innocent? Dazai is honestly relieved that Elise
isn’t part of whatever the fuck was going on with Mori in his original universe. But Dazai refuses
to let him off the hook so soon.
The bell rings and Mori stands back up to address the class. “Good morning, and welcome to your
first class of the year.” Mori looks around the room, placing a passive smile on his face. “I, am Mr.
Ougai and I will be teaching AP Chemistry for you all. Of course, you already knew that.” A few
chuckles spread throughout the room as Mori himself laughs nervously. “Now, if you will settle
down, I will start calling role.” Mori picks up a clipboard from his desk and starts listing off
names.
Dazai stares at his former abuser, his dark brown eyes studying the man in front of him. He knows
that this isn’t his Mori, but he can’t help but shake the feeling that he shouldn’t trust this man.
“Ah, Dazai Osamu. Wonderful to have you bless my classroom again,” Mori sarcastically muses.
“Let’s not repeat what happened in Homeroom last year, okay?” He looks up and subtly but
literally stares down Dazai.
“What is he talking about?” Dazai quickly leans over to Akutagawa.
“More like which one is he talking about,” Akutagawa responds.
Mori continues down the list as everyone’s name is called. Dazai tunes back in to hear Chuuya and
Akutagawa’s names being called, noticeably absent snide remarks following them.
After Mori finishes taking role, he starts passing out sheets of paper and talks about some sort of
syllabus. This was Dazai’s sign to zone back out as he thinks over something he noticed earlier.
Chuuya was the one who sat away from Dazai. Maybe they did fight in this universe before
whatever caused Dazai to be placed consciously into this one. But if that was the case, he
definitely would’ve butt into the conversation with Akutagawa when Dazai said they hadn’t
fought. And he knew Chuuya was listening. So why? Dazai thinks it over for a second.
Of course. How did I not think of that sooner. Dazai decided he would test his theory after class.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
As the bell rang, Chuuya quickly grabbed his bag and made his way out the door. He was used to
being very punctual and wanted as much time as possible to scope out his new environment. And
he wanted to get away from the walking mummy before this universe’s Dazai tried to talk to him
because apparently they’re dating and he doesn’t even want to imagine that, let alone, witness it.
He tries to reach the door unsuspectingly before the man himself shows up beside him. He audibly
sighs as he almost seems to appear out of nowhere.
“The moon was beautiful last night wasn’t it?” Dazai half whispers and Chuuya almost fully stops
in his tracks. What did he just say? Maybe it’s a coincidence, this universe’s Dazai just wanted to
make small talk about the moon for whatever reason. But it seems way too coincidental that he
would use the exact phrase the two used to use in undercover missions when they needed to leave
without alerting anyone else.
Chuuya glances up at the brunet who is staring at him with this look in his eyes. Eyes that scream
mafia. His Dazai’s eyes. Chuuya feels relieved that he isn’t alone.
“We’ll talk in the hallway,” Chuuya responds and Dazai has this satisfactory grin like he just
passed a really hard level in a game.
The two walk down the hall as both of their next classes are in the same direction. The pair is
spared a few glances and some outright stares and Chuuya only glares at them to have them turn
around.
“Do you have any idea of how this happened?” Chuuya starts off.
“It is a sad revelation, for even a genius like me, I for once have no idea what is going on,” Dazai
dramatically sighs before continuing. “On second thought, I might have a lead for our situation if I
can get to my 5th period. Maybe a certain rat knows what's going on.” Chuuya looks at him
questioningly before noticing that they’ll have to split off.
“Well, this is my farewell, my dear chibi” Dazai dramatically bows before Chuuya attempts to
punch him in the side. Dazai of course, dodges and runs off towards the fine arts hall.
Chuuya sighs as he turns towards the gym.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
As Dazai walks down the hall, he faintly listens to the conversations around him. Some are friends
greeting each other after a long summer, some are not-so-friends already fighting, and then there's
the gossip, so early in the morning. How do people already have things to talk about. Dazai decides
that it would actually do him good to see what the people around him discuss.
The first thing he hears is, to his surprise, about him. A group of girls, one of them he recognizes
from his previous class, seems to be intently conversing about him.
“Yeah, he said something about them being on a break, or something like that,” the girl he
recognized seemed to be clarifying to her friends.
The other girls seemed to be shocked about this information as one speaks up, “When people say
that, they usually break up afterward.”
“But they’ve been together since like sophomore year! No way they could break up like that,” she
denies.
“All I hear is he’s finally open,” another girl states almost suggestively as one of her friends adds
on, “Wait, which one?”
“Obviously Dazai. Chuuya’s gay, that’s a dream long gone,” she responds.
The group walks off as Dazai sort of chuckles to himself after realizing how public his and
Chuuya’s relationship is. Also how the two seem to be quite popular. He realizes this publicity
might get in the way if they don’t do something about it. They could obviously just say they broke
up, but if they need to have more private conversations about their situation it’s easier to play off
when that’s what you’re known for and he won’t have to deal with people thinking they have a
shot at him. It seems that playing along is their only option and Dazai totally, most definitely, can’t
think of anything else. Plus, he thinks it’d be fun.
Dazai makes his way into the theater and sees the pair he didn’t think would ever be possible.
Dressed in a dark purple dress shirt and black tie, Poe stands awkwardly on the small stage,
obviously overwhelmed by the students flowing into the room. Dazai wonders how such a non-
confrontational man decided to become a teacher, but after thinking about it, realizes this is why he
was teamed up with the more social man, Nikolai.
Nikolai sits on the edge of the stage, conversing with some of the students who already made it
into the room. He sports a plain, creme-colored dress shirt and a black tie, his abnormally long hair
tied into a braid behind him. He’s wearing a red blazer with a checkered collar and Dazai makes
note of how he still kept his clown-like sense of fashion. He also notices the band on his left hand.
Interesting.
Dazai finds it funny how a literal terrorist is sitting here, conversing with students with his
constant energetic attitude, even this early in the morning. Then again, this Nikolai obviously
didn’t commit all of those crimes and instead found his passion in theater. Why is Dazai not
surprised.
Dazai looks around the room as his eyes land on two small tables in the corner. One has a small
raccoon plush sat next to a stack of books. The small framed photo, too far away to see its contents,
sits on the other side of the computer.
The other table also has a framed photo that Dazai can’t see from here and what looks to be a stack
of cards sitting next to it. This one is obviously the clown’s with the first being Poe’s.
Dazai makes his way into the room to find a seat and decides to plant himself closer to the
teacher’s desks so he can inspect them further. He decides to observe the photos and is slightly
shocked to see their contents.
One of the photos displays a very happy Nikolai standing next to the rat himself. The two are
dressed in suits, one all white with accents of red, one all black with accents of purple, and seem to
be at a wedding. Scratch that, it’s their wedding.
The other photo is of another pair, and Dazai isn’t even surprised anymore. The photo seems to be
taken in the garden of a very well-kept house, not even questioning how it was bought with a
teacher’s salary. Sitting on the bench together is Poe and Ranpo and oh my god they still have the
raccoon.
I knew it. Dazai smiles to himself as he’s given another reason to like this universe a little more.
Even the people who were technically his enemies get to live a better life. Good for them.
Chapter End Notes
Bi Dazai and Gay Chuuya go brrrrrrr

Also, I love the fact that after realizing Fyolai and Ranpoe are married Dazai just goes
"these bitches gay. good for them"
Dear Random guy, Fuck you
Chapter Summary
CW/TW : HOMOPHOBIA AND SWEARING
Chapter Notes
Not sure what to put for the summary because this whole chapter is a RIDE
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
Chuuya was sitting on the bleachers in the gym, watching as the students, mostly freshmen, flowed
in. A clump of boys, seemingly older than the occurring freshmen, walks in as a section splits off
and sits down on the other end of the bleachers. Chuuya immediately recognizes the boy not a part
of the group.
“Chuuya!” The fellow redhead calls as he notices Chuuya. Tachihara runs over and takes the seat
next to him. Chuuya puts on a smile as he reminds himself that this Tachihara isn’t the same one
that betrayed the mafia, which also reminds him to look out for this universe’s hunting dogs.
The two talk as more people fill the gym. There wasn’t a lot, maybe about 30-ish, most of them
sitting in the bleachers. Finally, right before the bell rings, Hirostu enters the gym, looking more
tired than ever. He wore a brown polo shirt tucked into a pair of black pants. His signature
monocle was missing, but judging by the smell, his smoking habits were not. As the bell rings, he
pulls out a clipboard and starts calling out names.
As the names are being called, Chuuya hears a mumble start to grow. The group from before
slowly gets louder and louder as no one seems to be stopping their conversation. It eventually gets
so loud, Chuuya is convinced they’re doing it on purpose as he hears one of the boy’s input.
“Call pest control, we’ve got a f-g infestation,” he jokes, gesturing to Chuuya. Chuuya is taken
aback by the literal slur thrown at him. He never really came out to anyone in his original universe,
besides Kouyou and very briefly Dazai who then mentioned he was Bi and left it at that (it was one
of the few wholesome moments between the two). He didn’t like to bring it up, obviously fearing
this kind of response.
“We do not tolerate that kind of language in this class.” Hirostu sternly reprimands the student. But
the boy didn’t seem to care that much as he continued his taunt.
“I just wanna know how the school even let him take the same class as us normal people,” he
emphasizes the normal people. “I mean, we have to change in the same locker room! I don’t want
him looking at me.” A few of the boys snicker as none of them seem to be sincerely concerned
about anything of the sort.
“You should make him change in the stalls!” one of the other boys jeers.
Hirostu, obviously not standing for this kind of behavior, tries to shut them down before Chuuya
speaks up.
“There isn’t much to look at if that's what you’re worried about. If anything, you should change in
the stalls; it saves us from having to witness your ogre-looking ass.”
A couple of kids “oooo” and laugh at the response as the guy scowls. “Plus, I’m taken dumbass,”
Chuuya finishes off before glaring at the guy. It felt weird to say it out loud, but maybe his
situation with that mackerel was actually good for something. He ignored the voice in the back of
his mind that said there wasn’t anything wrong in the first place. It was probably a side effect of
this universe. Totally, I mean, Chuuya wouldn’t have those thoughts himself. He hates Dazai.
Right?
“We all know you guys are pretty much breaking up!” the boy yells, breaking Chuuya out of his
spiral, “But I’m not surprised you’re trying to salvage the only chance of a relationship you’ll ever
get! Dazai’s probably not even gay! Or ‘Bi’ or whatever he called it. We all know that he just took
pity on your gay, sorry ass because no one else would date a f-g like yo-”
“HEY,” Hirostu cuts him off with a booming voice, Chuuya personally never knew he could yell
like that. “This is a TERRIBLE way to start the year.” Hirotsu pinches the bridge of his nose and
sighs. “You,” he points at the boy, “Go to the office right now.”
The boy protestingly looks around before getting up, not without glaring at Chuuya, and leaves the
gym.
This is going to be a long day. Chuuya sighs.
“Are you okay?” Tachihara looks worryingly at Chuuya. “That guy was a dick.” Chuuya quietly
chuckles at the remark. “Yeah,” he responds to the question and statement, “I’m okay,” he looks up
at him as Tachihara seems to have another question on the tip of his tongue. He pauses a second
before asking.
“What did he mean by you and Dazai are breaking up?” Tachihara asks cautiously. Chuuya thinks
about it for a moment and remembers first period.
“Some people probably saw us sitting at different tables in first. I mean, me and Dazai just decided
we should be able to take a break every now and again. We don’t have to always be around each
other,” he explains.
Tachihara looks at Chuuya with his mouth agape. Chuuya looks at him, furrowing his eyebrows,
“What?”
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Dazai’s second period went by quite smoothly. Poe and Nikolai introduced themselves to any new
students and started going over what the year will look like content-wise. Once they finished the
slideshow, they sent the class off to talk and get to know each other. Poe immediately retreated
back to his desk and picked up some kind of novel. Dazai noticed the black band around his ring
finger.
Nikolai walked around the classroom until he reached the back where Dazai was seated.
“Great to see you in this class again Dazai,” He greets him with a cheery tone. “What kind of
classes did you decide to take this year?” he claps his hands together, “You never fail to surprise
me with your elective choices! So come on, let’s hear it,” he inches closer, eyes round like a cat
that saw its favorite toy. He suddenly sticks his hands out in front of him, “Wait wait! Let me
guess!”
Typical excentric Nikolai.
“Is it a sport?” He asks before cutting himself off, “Wait no, you don't do the super active stuff.”
He ponders on the subject for a moment.
“Is it a language?” Dazai nods and Nikolai gets visibly more excited. He’s always loved games.
“Are you taking Latin II? Or maybe German?” Dazai shakes his head and Nikolai sulks slightly
before his eyes light up.
“Are you taking Russain?” He asks expectantly.
“Bingo!” Dazai exclaims and Nikolai claps to himself smiling.
“You’re taking Dos-kun’s class!” He states happily before pausing. “Wait what’s the other?”
“I have to get my health credit in before I graduate,” Dazai reminds him as if he didn’t learn about
it all this morning. “Luckily, it’s only a semester and I have a study hall after it.”
“Aw, not taking double languages again?” Nikolai brings up a past memory that only he
remembers, of course, he doesn’t know that.
“Nope,” Dazai responds, popping the p.
The bell rings as students gather their things and make their way to the door. Nikolai smiles at
Dazai before getting ready for the next wave of students.
As Dazai made his way to second period, he felt wrong. It was very subtle, but something was
definitely wrong. Or maybe not wrong, just different. Actually, it wasn’t that different at all, it had
just been a while since he felt it. Dazai smiles to himself.
Entering his economics class, Dazai’s gaze settles upon the detective agency’s president-turned-
teacher. Fukuzawa is sitting at his desk, drinking what looks to be some sort of tea, as he converses
with the other teacher occupying the room. Though, it’s more like a one-way conversation as
Fukuzawa sits there listening to other’s ramble.
Ranpo is sitting on one of the empty student desks, never losing his childlike attitude. He’s
wearing a white button-down, blue tie, black vest, and brown dress pants. His attire is very similar
to the Ranpo Dazai knows, missing the hat and cloak-like jacket. Fukuzawa keeps it simple but
classy, sporting a plain black suit.
“Ah, guess I better head out now,” Ranpo notices the students entering the room, hopping off the
desk. He quickly makes his way to the door, passing Dazai. Dazai leans a little over to the side last
second as their arms brush against each other. There it is. Ranpo pauses. He smirks.
“Your neck bandages are gone”
Chapter End Notes
:)
Ranpo POV next chapter
EDIT:
After reading the comments on this chapter, I've realized that people did not seem to
catch on to the fact that Dazai's ability came back for a little bit and it gave Ranpo his
memories. Guess I was a little too subtle. Sorry ;-;
Anyways, take that information as you will.
5 Stages of Flustered
Chapter Summary
Ranpo has his memories and he and Dazai are slowly figuring out what this universe
is.
Also severe pining and denial from Chuuya.
Chapter Notes
Decided to move my update schedule to Saturday instead of Sunday. I've found I can
finish the chapter by Saturday and I just can't wait to post it, and I know y'all can't
either. So with that, enjoy :)
EDOGAWA RANPO
---------------
Ranpo felt like he had just woken up from a really long dream. He didn’t know how to describe
what had happened in the past five minutes because it was honestly quite a lot. What he did know
was he now had memories from both this world and his original and it was a little overwhelming.
He remembered leaving Fukuzawa’s classroom, and then there was this cold feeling. He had never
felt something like it before. It happened when he touched Dazai, so he assumed it was his ability.
With him not having one, as much as he refuses to admit it, he never felt what being nullified felt
like. But again, he doesn’t have an ability. So what did Dazai nullify? What happened?
He sat in his chair with his legs on the desk. Knowing that this is his break period, from the
memories, he had a whole period to think this over. He saw a glasses case on the desk and after
opening it, found an identical pair to the one Fukuzawa gave him in his original universe. He put
them on. Nothing.
Ranpo sighs to himself. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. He starts going over everything he
knows, trying to solve this mystery without his glasses. It reminds him of being in the book Poe
trapped him in when they reconnected after years. Speaking of which, his eyes follow the black
band on his left hand. Hm.
Having memories from this universe, he knows he and Poe are married. That doesn’t stop the
slight warmth that reaches his face thinking about that morning, waking up next to him. How
affectionate he was. Did his original Poe feel the same? Did he have those feelings without
realizing it himself? He shakes his head, trying to get back on task.
He doesn’t have an ability, but Dazai nullified something. So that would mean this world is the
product of an ability. But why? He needs to know who else, if anyone else, has their original
memories. Maybe it was just Dazai, obviously with the fact that his ability countered it enough to
keep his memories. Would that mean he wasn’t the main target? Anything directly affecting him
would be nullified. But whose ability was it? How does it work? Ranpo’s mind was racing with
questions that for once, he had no answer to. He hated it.
Checking the rosters on his desk, he finds Dazai’s name on his seventh period. Great, I have to
wait that long. His eyes glance over the paper as they land on another name. Nakahara Chuuya.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------
Did this guy always have a stick up his ass? Chuuya was sitting in his third period, which happened
to be economics with the Guild’s leader. Well, he wasn’t in this universe. Fitzgerald was going off
about some vacation he went on five years ago and Chuuya honestly could not care less. He had
other things to worry about.
Unless he wanted to arise more suspicion, he couldn’t go around saying Dazai and him were on a
break. Because apparently, that is unheard of. It honestly pains him to think about acting all lovey-
dovey with the mackerel, but thinking about what Akutagawa said in first, apparently they still
hold up their bickering. At least he’ll have that.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
After using it on Ranpo and giving him his memories back, Dazai’s ability seemed to disappear as
soon as it came. As much as that was a letdown, it did prove the fact that this world is the product
of an ability. This would probably explain why Dazai was able to retain his memories when it was
created. But why did Chuuya keep his? There was way more to discover and he knew he could rely
on Ranpo to help.
Fukuzawa’s class went by surprisingly fast. The man always had a knack for making people feel
welcome while still being efficient. He always preferred him over Mori, as a person and a boss.
Though he had to give it to Mori, he was the best fit for the Mafia boss position.
Quickly ridding any thoughts of the vile man, he made his way to his fourth period and, oh it’s
going to be fun. Remembering his schedule, because Dazai already memorized it all, he knows
Kunikida is awaiting him in the next class. Kunikida seems to have returned to his math teacher
ways and Dazai can’t wait to annoy the hell out of him.
The classroom comes into view as a certain feisty redhead does as well. Dazai runs up to him,
throwing his arms around his shoulders.
“W-what GET OFFA ME,” Chuuya yells before Dazai quickly covers the other’s mouth with his
hand. He leans over his shoulder and whispers, “I’m hoping you’ve already figured it out, but
remember the act we’re supposed to be playing right now.” Chuuya sighs before glaring at Dazai.
Dazai smiles and Chuuya bites his hand.
Dazai pulls his hand away before yelling, “Ow! Bad dog!” Chuuya rolls his eyes and enters the
classroom. Running up the shorter, Dazai quickly interlocks the two’s hands.
“H-hey!” Chuuya’s face turns slightly red.
“Take responsibility for your actions chibi! You bit my hand like the dog you are so now you must
make it feel better,” Dazai gives him this look that reminds Chuuya that he shouldn’t be surprised
by these things. Chuuya acknowledges this but that doesn’t stop his face from reddening a little
more at the fact that Dazai was implying holding his hand makes it feel better.
The two find a table in the back and sit down, next to each other this time. A small group of girls
approach the two, as more students flow into the classroom. The girls seemed a little nervous as
they walk up to the table. There were about three of them but there seemed to be a group in the
back that was watching.
“We heard you two were breaking up but you seem fine now, so…” one girl sort of explains
mumbling.
Dazai dramatically gasps before wrapping his arms around Chuuya, again, “Why would anyone
think I’d leave my dear chibi!” The statement was quite ironic, knowing their past. He feigns being
hurt by the assumption as Dazai feels Chuuya tense under his arms. He never had this hard of a
time in undercover missions. Why is it so hard now?
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
This world hates me. Chuuya is trying to control his expression but finds it hard to hide the fact
that he cannot deal with anything about this situation right now. He can act, it’s not as good as
Dazai’s, but he has before. But something about this is too much. Ever since he was consciously
placed in this world, his mind has filled more and more with thoughts. It’s been unbearable.
Chuuya swears to himself it’s probably some side effect of whatever's going on but damn, it feels
like every little thing Dazai does just messes with him.
“Oh, it’s just you guys are obviously inseparable and have been together for so long, so when word
spread that you were taking a ‘break’, well, it felt like the end of the world,” the girls from before
bring him out of his thoughts, nervously laughing.
“Well, you don’t have to worry now. Go tell your friends that I and Chuuya are very much in love
so they can drop whatever hope they had of being next in line,” Dazai says matter-of-factly, a little
rude at the end but judging by the girl’s faces, he was right in thinking that.
The girls had already left but Dazai still had his arm around Chuuya. Chuuya was currently dying
inside because of this. He knew his body was stiff, but couldn’t bring himself to even lean into the
weird embrace because he knew his thoughts would spiral. Hell, even this was sending Chuuya
into the deep end. He hated what this world was doing to him, and he knows it was because of this
world, because why would he think of Dazai like that.
Dazai leans a little over to Chuuya before slightly moving his hand up and down the other’s arm
like he’s trying to comfort him. “Calm down, you’re so tense,” he whispers. This of course had to
send Chuuya into a short circuit. He wasn’t used to Dazai being this touchy or caring even. Adding
that to the very unwanted thoughts, Chuuya felt like he was going to explode.
“You don’t need to keep up the act right now, you’re being weird,” Chuuya tries to counter, lying
to just get Dazai to stop touching him. Because even though he doesn’t want to admit it, he was fine
with Dazai sort of holding him, he liked it even. Every part of his skin where Dazai made contact
was on fire. His face would probably be as well if he wasn’t concentrating on preventing that from
happening.
“No can do chibi, these people are like hawks and are probably watching our every move,” Dazai
explains. Chuuya swears he’s lying just to torture him more.
“It’s just, you’re so touchy, I’m not used to it,” Chuuya explains.
“Well get used to it because you’re not very believable my dear chibi”
“Stop calling me that”
Eventually, Dazai practically pulls Chuuya into him, and Chuuya hates the fact that he
involuntarily leans into it. He wasn’t expecting Dazai to be so warm . He honestly expected the
bastard to be cold like the fish he is. He glances up at Dazai who seems to be smiling. Not one of
the fake smiles he likes to hide behind, no this was a genuine smile. Chuuya has honestly only seen
him smile like that a few times over the seven years he’s known him.
Chuuya feels like his mind is playing tricks on him again because Dazai looks like he’s practically
glowing . Like an angel, which was ironic for Chuuya to think, considering Dazai’s demon-like
reputation. But Chuuya couldn’t take his eyes off the brunet. The way how his hair frames his
face, his eyes a perfect shade of honey brown that would become almost red when he wanted them
to, his smile, the way his lips turn upward, they looked so soft and kissable- FUCK.
He honestly couldn’t deny it any longer. Whether it is because of this universe or not, Chuuya
Nakahara is extremely in love with Dazai Osamu.
Chapter End Notes
I was mentally giggling while writing that last segment

The Girl With Dark Hair
Chapter Summary
Dazai notices a very suspicious girl in his class. But before he can delve any further, he
has to face some problems of his own.
Chapter Notes
Just a smidge of angst.

Maybe not just a smidge.
Also, sorry I took a little longer to post. I have exams but once we get to June, I'll
hopefully be posting either longer chapters or multiple times a week.
Enjoy :)
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Bum bum. Bum bum. Bum bum. Dazai didn’t know if it was his heartbeat or Chuuya’s. All he
could hear was ‘Bum bum. Bum bum. Bum bum’, and it was loud.
Dazai was starting to appreciate not having his ability, it actually allowed him to feel. Emotions
weren’t just an echo of what they should be, everything was stronger. But at the same time, it was
honestly starting to overwhelm him. And Dazai doesn’t usually get overwhelmed. There were so
many new emotions, or maybe they were emotions he always felt, just amplified to the normal
degree without his ability. Whatever it was, it was changing Dazai. In a good way, he supposed.
Holding Chuuya, feeling his warmth against his body, the way how they just fit together, Dazai felt
good. No, scratch that, for once in Dazai’s honestly sad life, he felt great. You don’t deserve this.
Just existing there with Chuuya was enough to allow him to die happy. In fact, it was enough to
make him forget about dying at all. Since when was I so sappy. Dazai scoffs to himself. But he
couldn’t ignore his strange feelings towards the other.
The more he thought about it, they weren’t so strange at all. As said before, all of his emotions
were pretty much amplified with the loss of his ability. That makes it sound like his emotions are
being turned into something way greater, something they’re not supposed to be. But his original
feelings were just a toned-down version of what he was actually supposed to feel. The loss of his
ability turned his echoes into the yell they really were. All of that admiration for Chuuya’s
humanity, Dazai was starting to realize what it really was.
Dazai looks down at the redhead in his arms, and again, there's this feeling in his chest. Silly chibi,
you're going to give me a heart attack. Dazai wasn’t used to this level of emotion. Especially when
it’s an emotion he learned to give up a long time ago. Yearning. You know how this goes, just give
up now.
Not wanting to delve deeper into why he was yearning for Chuuya, he looks around the room in
search of anything else to over-observe. That’s one of the cons of being this smart, sometimes your
brain goes into something you don’t want to explore yet. His eyes gloss over the students in the
room, noticing how Kunikida isn’t there yet, he’ll probably show up at whatever time he set his
schedule to. His gaze lands on a girl in the corner of the room. She wasn’t super eye-catching, she
had long dark brown hair and greenish eyes, from what Dazai could see. So why her? Maybe
because Dazai can tell when someone is trying not to be seen.
Before Dazai can examine the girl further, Kunikida swiftly makes his way through the door,
carrying a mug of coffee. His desk is covered with agendas, rosters, and other miscellaneous
papers, all organized obviously. About 30 seconds after he sits down, the bell rings. Always so
punctual. Kunikida picks up a clipboard from his desk and walks to the whiteboard.
"Good morning, I am Mr. Kunikida, and I will start by taking attendance. If I say your name
wrong, please correct me," he announces as the class quiets. He was wearing an almost identical
outfit to the one Dazai knew from his original world, the black dress-shirt, tan vest and pants,
glasses, all of it. It made sense considering his original Kunikida’s past. As names are being listed
off, Dazai's attention returns to the girl with dark hair. He doesn't make it obvious, of course, but he
keeps an eye on her, waiting for her name.
Dazai's name is called, then Chuuya's, and then finally the girl's head pops up.
"Mary?" Kunikida calls out.
"Here,” the girl, Mary, raises her hand. She had a strong voice that she was forcing to sound
quieter. Dazai just knew this girl was trying not to be noticed.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------
Chuuya watched as Kunikida went through attendance and moved into classroom rules. Chuuya
didn’t know Kunikida very well but he hoped he wasn’t as nitpicky as he seems to be now. He
listed off the rules one by one, reading from a green notebook while also pointing to a poster on
the wall. Chuuya grimaced as the rules got worse and worse. It started off simple, no talking when
the teacher is talking, no eating in the classroom, etc. But then…
“Speaking of which, you two in the back, personal space. Break it up,” Kunikida suddenly gestures
to Dazai and Chuuya, asking them to put more space between their chairs.
Chuuya honestly forgot how he and Dazai were entangled, they had been like that for a good
while, he actually got used to it. He tries to pull away from Dazai, reluctantly following the rule,
and for a second the loss of comfort makes him want to jump back into his arms. Luckily, as much
as he hated himself for thinking that, Dazai keeps him from getting far, pulling him back. Chuuya
is surprised by the almost needy action, it was like Dazai couldn’t let him go. Dazai himself had a
small flicker of surprise at the action before taunting the blonde.
“You’re just going to break apart a happy couple like that? This isn’t a very good first impression
Mr. Kunikida,” Dazai exaggerates in a hurt voice, emphasizing the man’s name in an annoying,
Dazai-fashioned way.
“I would never do that on purpose. I am just reinforcing the rules,” Kunikida tries to ignore the
taunt, explaining in a calm-like manner.
“But they aren’t even school rules! They’re rules you made. Why would you make rules that would
break apart your student’s relationships,” Dazai twists the situation, obviously trying to mess with
the blonde.
“You’re putting words in my mouth. It is my classroom and I do what I believe is best for it. We
will not continue the topic,” Kunikida counters, trying to shut down the conversation.
“I don’t see any ring on your finger, Mr. Kunikida. I think you’re just jealous,” Dazai drags out the
‘I’, taunting the poor man even further.
Chuuya could tell Kunikida was at his breaking point. The man looked like he was going to
explode as he turned towards Dazai. Kunikida glares at the boy as his eyes seem to study him. He
looks a little caught off guard for a second, then the surprise turns to worry as he notices the
bandages decorating the other's arms.
“Just- see me after class”
“Oh I see. You can’t find anyone so now you're going after me? Sorry, but I have to reject your
offer. I know I’m great and all but you know that's illegal-" Chuuya jabs Dazai in the side.
Kunikida was worried about Dazai and he wasn’t about to let him joke his way out of getting help.
He always does that whenever someone tries to get him to open up. He hated it. He hated how
Dazai refused to let anyone pity him. He hated how Dazai felt like no one could pity him. He hated
Dazai because he wouldn’t accept that he deserves to be loved. He hated Dazai for this because he
loved him. What a conundrum. It's funny really. He hates Dazai because he loves him and knows
that he will refuse him no matter what. Dazai really was the worst person to fall in love with.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Once class was over, Dazai bid his farewells to Chuuya as he reluctantly made his way to
Kunikida's desk. But then he sees her. Mary. She’s standing in the hall. Watching Chuuya. Why is
she watching Chuuya? Who is this girl and what does she want?
“Hey, are you listening?” Kunikida breaks him out of his thoughts. The question would normally
be asked in an annoyed manner, but this one was calmer. Worried. Dazai hates it.
“Sorry, what did you say?” Dazai brings his attention back to Kunikida.
“It’s fine, I just want to know, is everything okay at home? Do I need to call someone?” Kunikida
hushes his voice. It’s been a long time since Dazai heard Kunikida actually sound worried about
his well-being. There was a reason for that. Dazai doesn’t want anyone to care for his well-being.
He doesn’t deserve it. He’s done so much, he doesn’t deserve happiness. Even wanting it is wrong,
because anything he wants, he’s guaranteed to lose, so he holds everyone at a distance. He pushes
everyone away in fear that he’ll lose them if he holds them too close.
“I’m fine, really,” Dazai brushes him off. You’re doing it again.
“I just want you to know you can talk to me,” Kunikida assures him. “You don’t need to push me
away, I’m here to help you”.
Dazai freezes. You know he doesn’t actually care. Why would he care about you. You don’t deserve
it. Don’t forget what you’ve done. Murderer, thief, manipulator, you’ve ruined lives. Oda, Chuuya,
everyone around you.
Shut up. God, Dazai thought he would be able to escape these thoughts. And for a while, it seemed
like he did. But they slowly crept back to him. I really can’t have anything. But then he thought,
just maybe, this world could give him a chance. A chance to get away from the thoughts for a
moment. Just maybe.
Dazai looks at Kunikida. “Thank you, I’ll remember that,” he smiles at the man, and the man
smiles back. A step in the right direction.
“Now get to class”
And Dazai leaves.
Chapter End Notes
Everyone goin through it fr

Reunions and Revelations
Chapter Summary
Dazai gets to reunite with a friend and a rival-friend

He also starts to contemplate his relationship with his other rival-friend
Chapter Notes
Done with exams! Sorry again for posting this a little later in the day than I usually do,
next few chapters will hopefully be longer and earlier!
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Dazai stared at the man in front of him. It felt weird to see him in a light like this. Out of everyone
on his schedule, Fyodor was the last person Dazai expected to see. The man was wearing a black
button-down with white roses embroidered into the sleeves, classy as always. He had cream-white
pants on that reminded Dazai of Fyodor’s outfit before being arrested, which led Dazai to note the
absence of his signature hat. He also noted the band around his ring finger. It matched Nikolai’s
perfectly, a black ring with a single white and purple gem welded into the band, small spiraling
engravings around the stones, adding a playful yet elegant look to the ring. It fit the two exactly.
When Dazai entered the room, he immediately found an open seat close to Fyodor’s desk.
Originally, he planned to see if this Fyodor knew what was going on, just maybe he had his
memories as well. But after what happened with Ranpo, Dazai realized that Fyodor would not have
his memories and decided he definitely shouldn’t give them to him. Though he probably couldn’t
even if he wanted to. When his ability came back seemed to be completely random. Also, he
already confirmed that this world is the product of an ability and he doubted Fyodor would do
something like this. And he already had a lead on that girl, Mary. Even so, he wanted to keep an
eye on the man, just in case.
Fyodor’s desk didn’t have much on it, though what it did have amused Dazai. Of course, there was
a photo of the husbands, but the small trinkets littered between books and photos made Dazai
chuckle. One, there were multiple rats. Stuffed rats, ceramic rats, big rats, small rats, they were
everywhere. Most of them were probably gifts from students, Dazai didn’t expect Fyodor to pick
them out himself. But it was on brand, to say the least. And second, most likely what Fyodor
picked out, were multiple books, paintings, and just objects from Russian culture. This class was,
of course, Russian, so it made sense for there to be nods to the culture. And also the fact that
Fyodor himself is from the country.
The bell rang as Fyodor silently picked up a marker and started writing on the board. When he was
finished, he turned back to the class, “When I call your name, say ‘here’ and try pronouncing this,”
he announced, pointing to the board that read ‘Dostoevsky’. He starts going through the list of
students, each person stating their attendance and trying to pronounce the name on the board, most
failing miserably. Eventually, he reaches Dazai who feels strangely excited over saying a name.
Then again, he doesn’t get a lot of bragging opportunities, especially when it’s something he finds
simple.
Fyodor calls his name and Dazai responds with a simple ‘here’ before very nonchalantly
pronouncing the word. Fyodor’s mouth turns into a grin before congratulating the brunet, “Very
good. I don’t think I’ve had a student who does it that well on the first try,” Well, it wasn’t really
my first. Dazai keeps the remark to himself as he accepts the praise. Fyodor turns toward the class
before addressing the fact that ‘Dostoevsky’ is his name, though everyone knew from their
schedule, and they’ll need to learn to pronounce it.
The rest of the class went by quickly. Fyodor, like most teachers, passed out the syllabus and
briefly gave some insight into his life as a quick little icebreaker, before leaving the students to
their own. Dazai didn’t see anyone he recognized in the classroom so he decided to indulge himself
and make conversation with the man. He turned towards the noiret who seemed to be glossing over
something on the desktop.
“So–” Dazai grabs the man’s attention, “–You’re Mr. Gogol’s husband.”
Fyodor glances away from the computer before fully giving the brunet his attention. “I’m guessing
by your familiarity, you take theater?”
Dazai nods, “He was quite excited to hear I was taking your class this year. Though I didn’t fully
realize you were his husband when I applied. It makes me wonder, how come you don’t share a
last name?”
“We just never decided to make that decision. We felt like neither of us needed to receive the
other’s name, it wouldn’t take anything away from our marriage,” Fyodor explains. “And it also
worked out in the workplace as students might’ve gotten confused if there were two Mr.
Dostoevskys or Gogols,” Fyodor sort of chuckles. Dazai respected the mutual understanding
between the two. It’s not like he hasn’t seen couples do the same, but it was still nice to see how
they didn’t tie the idea of their marriage to things like a last name.
Dazai’s eyes briefly trail back to the rats littered around the room. “I guess I know what to get you
if I ever need to give you a gift,” he nods to the trinkets. “Oh please, no more. My husband got me
one for our anniversary and once my students saw it, I had at least ten times more rats than I would
ever need. Even after that, they didn’t stop. They just sort of became my thing,” Fyodor
exasperatingly denies the offer, explaining the story of the figures. Dazai chuckles at the idea of
Fyodor receiving more and more rats, becoming increasingly distressed with every one he receives.
“You know, I feel like I’ve seen you before. You’ve been down this hall a lot haven’t you,” Fyodor
seems to study Dazai.
“I’ve taken a foreign language every year, so a lot of my classes have been down this hall,” Dazai
explains.
“Every year? That’s quite impressive, uh, Dazai?” Fyodor glances down at his roster again,
remembering the brunet’s name.
“Yes, and thank you,” Dazai accepts the praise. He technically didn’t take whatever classes this
Dazai took, but he does know multiple languages so, close enough. Conversing with this Fyodor
was interesting. He didn’t get to indulge in their usual intellectual banter, but learning about this
world’s Fyodor was quite fun, knowing what he’s like in his original world.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
Chuuya had a soft spot for literature, so judging by this, it was no surprise that he had a creative
writing class. He was quite excited, to say the least, though, he didn’t recognize the teacher, whose
name was Mr. Oguri. Mr. Oguri had slick black hair and wore an obnoxious teal suit. Chuuya, not
wanting to dwell on the man’s strange fashion sense, went back to thinking about what happened
after fourth period.
After leaving Kunikida’s classroom, he suddenly had this feeling. Like he was being watched.
Chuuya was getting used to the occasional glances or outright stares from a few people, he seemed
to be quite popular. But this was different. While turning a corner, Chuuya is able to glance down
the hall he came from and notices a girl who is obviously following him. He remembered just
seeing her in fourth. In fact, if he recalls, she was in third as well. What does she want?
Chuuya continues to his next class, not trying to show her that he knows she’s following him, but
she suddenly breaks off last minute, going in the opposite direction. That was weird. Chuuya thinks
to himself before entering his creative writing class. And that puts him where he is now.
Mr. Oguri, or Mushitarou (Chuuya checked his schedule), was talking to a few students about
writing. Chuuya decides to tune back in as he hears one of the students ask, “How do you actually
get into writing?”
Mushitarou turns to the student, “It depends on the person I suppose. I personally enjoy writing
mysteries, but that might not be your calling. In fact, I didn’t even know I wanted to write until one
of my friends pushed me to,” he explains.
Chuuya didn’t realize how much time had passed because a few minutes later, the bell rings and he
was off to homeroom.
Back in Mori’s classroom, Chuuya notices the Akutagawa siblings sitting in the corner. He makes
his way to them, pulling an extra chair over to their table. It’s nice seeing the two, they look much
happier.
“Hello, Chuuya-san,” Akutagawa, or Ryuunosuke, greets the redhead.
“You don’t have to be so formal, we’re in the same grade,” Chuuya notes how they have the same
homeroom and science class, they should both be seniors.
“He’s always like this,” Gin adds. It was interesting to see Gin fully without her mask or hair tied
up.
“Say, Chuuya-sa-, Chuuya, isn’t Kyouka going to be a Freshman next year?” Ryuu adds in.
“I guess so,” Chuuya didn’t really know but he goes along with it anyway.
“I can’t believe we’re going to miss her! Last time we saw her was when you tutored her, wasn’t it
Ryuu?” Gin exclaims, obviously sad about having to graduate this year, thus missing Kyouka.
“Yeah,” Ryuu nods.

DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Dazai, who was back in Fukuzawa’s classroom, was currently next to his protege. The white-
haired boy was going through multiple syllabuses, looking over everything.
“It’s fine Atsushi, you can look at them when you get home,” Dazai reassured the boy.
“But, I don’t want to forget anything! What if one of my teachers quizzes me on it tomorrow?”
Atsushi worries.
“Why would a teacher do that?” Dazai briefly chuckles at the suggestion.
“I heard from some of the seniors last year that Mr. Kunikida does, and I have him second.”
“....”
“Let’s look over it together.”
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
Chuuya enters the cafeteria and finds a table. Sitting down, he pulls out the packaged lunch from
his backpack as he notices Tachihara a few tables away. The fellow redhead is sitting at a round
table with what looks to be the hunting dogs. He sees the two boys, one with white hair and one
with black, and the girl with pink hair all conversing over something that the white-haired boy
looks very pressed about. The more he looks at it, he seems to be yelling about the noiret’s food
choices. I don’t even want to know.
Chuuya’s attention is pulled away from the bickering as he notices the brunet sitting down next to
him. Dazai sets down a small box wrapped in cloth as he turns to Chuuya. Before Chuuya can
bring up what happened in fourth, Dazai leans in closer.
“I think I know who did all of this,” he says in a hushed voice.
Chuuya, slightly recovering because of course there was that one part of his mind that went
haywire when Dazai leaned closer to him, thinks about the girl who was following him earlier.
“Yeah, I was being followed after fourth. You think it’s that girl?”
“Mary,” Dazai corrects. “And yes, she’s way too suspicious. I already checked Fyodor as well, this
definitely wasn’t him.”
“On that note, I confirmed with Ranpo that this world is the result of an ability,” Dazai adds.
“That guy? What do you mean you confirmed with him?” Chuuya remembers the detective, who
he might still hold a grudge against.
“My ability came back when I was walking to third. I brushed my arm against Ranpo and he
suddenly had his memories back. After that, my ability disappeared again,” Dazai explains.
“Wait wait. Your ability came back and you didn’t think to tell me?” Chuuya leans in, “Also, how?
Why hasn’t mine come back?” Chuuya is caught off guard by the amount of information he wasn’t
made aware of.
“My ability seems to be some sort of anomaly,” Dazai ignores the first question, “That would
explain why I was able to retain my memories.”
“Then how do I have mine?” Chuuya questions.
Dazai pauses for a moment before his eyes light up, “The ability was used on you. That would
explain why Mary was following you! Now we just need to know what she wants and what her
ability is,” Dazai seems to be quite passionate about how much closer they are to figuring out the
truth. Chuuya finds it amusing how Dazai seems to be so much more lively and excited over the
little things. It’s cute. But before they can explore the idea any longer, a voice across from them
speaks up.
“Ahem, excuse me for interrupting whatever’s going on here.” Akutagawa is sitting across the
table from them. Next to him sits the were-tiger (though he’s technically not anymore) who seems
to be a little red in the face. Chuuya realizes how close he and Dazai are, from an outside
perspective the two definitely looked like a couple, to say the least. Chuuya didn’t even remember
getting so close to the other, but judging by Dazai’s amused expression, Dazai noticed how the
redhead slowly closed the distance and did nothing to stop him. This bastard. Why do I keep doing
this to myself?
Chuuya quickly backs off, doing everything he can to keep himself from going beet-red. I really am
hopeless.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Dazai noticed how Chuuya was closing the distance between the two. Though Dazai knew it was
because Chuuya was just as invested in the conversation as he was, he felt no reason to stop him.
The closer the redhead came to him, that feeling from before seemed to grow. He didn’t know
what it was, but for some reason, all Dazai wanted to do was pull Chuuya into his arms. He didn’t
even realize how eager he felt about it until it started to slip into his voice. Yes, he was happy to be
close to figuring out this world, but it wasn’t the only thing on his mind.
When his mentees showed up and Chuuya pulled away from him, Dazai couldn’t help but feel
disappointed. Dazai saw how Chuuya sat away from him, his face almost disgusted. Chuuya was
obviously not happy about what happened and for some reason, that made Dazai feel… strange.
Dazai was really confused. He didn’t know what he was feeling. All he knew was he felt incredible
around Chuuya, like there was this warmth inside of him whenever they were close and all he
wanted to do was be closer. And something about Chuuya not wanting that made him, sad. Why
am I so worked up over this?
Dazai looked at the redhead, searching for answers. He stared at the fiery hair that framed his face,
contrasting the bright blue eyes Dazai knew all too well. Dazai’s eyes glossed over every detail of
his face, admiring the lack of imperfections. That’s a good word to describe him. Perfect. Dazai
thought about how every little thing Chuuya did, Chuuya himself, was just perfect.
Dazai was practically frozen in time, in his own world. With every passing second, more thoughts
about Chuuya flooded his mind. His smile, his astounding fighting ability, the way how he can
command a room with just his presence, his trust in Dazai, it was all so beautiful. Chuuya was
beautiful. It was all so much and Dazai didn’t know where it was coming from.
No. He did know. He’s known for a long time. He just never knew what it was.
Dazai Osamu is indefinitely in love with Chuuya Nakahara.
Chapter End Notes
:)
Also if anyone doesn't know, noiret or noirette is used to describe someone with black
hair.
How Are You Smart And Dumb At The Same Time
Chapter Summary
Just two guys who love each other but one is trying to hide it and the other thinks he
hates him.
Chapter Notes
Woooooooo super early chapter! I'm going to be pretty busy Saturday so I pushed to
get this done and then realized that I actually got it done super early. Anyways, enjoy
:)
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
Dazai was staring at him. He could feel it. And all Chuuya could do was focus on keeping a cool
face. He hated how even Dazai just looking at him for too long, being under his all-seeing eyes,
was enough to put his brain in the gutter. He couldn’t even look at the brunet because he was
scared Dazai would find him out. And he knew how Dazai was. The second you get too close, he
shuts down completely. He didn’t want to lose all of the progress he had made.
Chuuya really cursed himself for actually falling in love with Dazai. He always knew Dazai kept
people at a distance. The fact that they got so close is practically a miracle. He cursed himself
because he knew Dazai would never allow him to come any closer. He’s known for a long time.
In fact, it was strange how he didn’t fully realize his feelings for the brunet until now. He
originally thought it was this world that made him feel like this. But maybe it was the certain
looming presence he was used to feeling, suddenly vanishing, that allowed him to fully
acknowledge and discover these feelings. Whatever it was, Chuuya felt stupid for never realizing
even if they were fake. He tried to ignore the thoughts that maybe he could’ve kept Dazai from
leaving if he knew then, or maybe it would’ve been enough to let him go with him. In another
universe, you know.
Thinking about all of this did at least help keep his mind off of the current situation. Chuuya was
slowly figuring out how to just keep his cool, considering he’s never been in a position like this
before. Helplessly in love with someone and trying desperately to hide it, he didn’t really have the
experience per se. All he could do was stare at his lunch, he hoped it was working.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
You always do this. God, Dazai really felt like shit. I mean, he always felt a little like shit, but it
was bad now. Dazai knew he fucked up, he always does. He watched as Chuuya backed away from
him, how the redhead couldn’t even glance at him. And now he hates you again. Great job.
All Dazai could do was gaze at the redhead, and again, there was that feeling. Yearning, love.
Dazai loved Chuuya and the second Dazai finally realized it, it was too late. Fuck. The thoughts
were back, crawling out to feed on Dazai’s misfortune.
“Are you listening? Stop goggling at your boyfriend,” Akutagawa pulls Dazai out of his thoughts.
Right. They’re still here.
“It’s fine, they’ve probably been through a lot today, I’m quite tired already as well,” Atsushi tries
to de-escalate.
“We’re okay Atsushi, I’m just surprised Akutagawa’s trying to call me out when he’s been quite
distracted as well,” Dazai reassures, turning to Akutagawa.
“What do you mean by that,” Akutagawa questions warily.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you constantly glancing at little Atsushi over here,” Dazai teases.
“U-um, can we talk about something else?” Atsushi sputters out, turning red. Dazai notices how
Akutagawa seems to turn away, his face flushed.
“Yeah, leave them alone,” Chuuya finally speaks up. Dazai turns to the redhead, glad that he’s
finally responding. And yet, even when talking to Dazai, he refuses to look at him. God, Dazai
really felt like shit.
“What do you guys think about your teachers so far?” Atsushi tries to change the subject.
“Mr. Mori still looks like a pedo,” Akutagawa nonchalantly says, causing Chuuya to choke on his
drink. Dazai glances over at Chuuya who gives him a knowing look. At least he’s actually looking
at him.
“What?!” Atsushi exclaims.
“Yeah, last year he stood out in the hallways in-between classes and a lot of the girls felt like
something about him was just, creepy,“ Akutagawa explains, Atsushi’s face becoming more and
more grim.
“How is he still a teacher?” Atsushi wonders aloud.
“Probably not enough actual evidence,” Dazai answers, “They can’t remove him over a hunch.”
“That’s terrible!” Atsushi was always quite empathetic, already so distraught over something most
people seemed to just pass up as no big deal. That seemed to be a recurring theme, very serious
situations are reduced to small talk. Seemed like high school was even more desensitized than the
real world.
Moving on, the four shared their schedules, comparing classes, and seeing who had what classes
together. Dazai notices how he and Chuuya have the same seventh and eighth period. He would
normally feel happy about something like that while playing it off like he couldn’t stand to be with
Chuuya. But after what happened, Dazai feels like being around Chuuya is only going to worsen
his situation. Him being around Chuuya, especially now after realizing his deep connection to the
redhead, will only make him feel worse. Chuuya hates him and all Dazai wants is to love him.
Man, all of these new feelings were putting Dazai through the wringer.
EDOGAWA RANPO
---------------
Ranpo watched as students flooded the room. It was finally seventh which meant Dazai was in this
class. He had been thinking over the origin of this world for the past few hours, putting his
memories from this world to use. But even with that, Ranpo was missing the final piece. He knew
this world was the product of an ability, and the ability was used on someone other than Dazai. But
it affected him enough to allow Dazai’s ability to work. Also, it wasn’t just some alternate universe
they were transported too, because Ranpo had actual memories of this world. It was similar to how
the book worked, whatever the ability was doing, it became reality. Ranpo didn’t know if Dazai
also had his memories from this world, but he assumed he didn’t, his ability seemed to nullify
everything but what actually changed him. But who is the actual target?
It felt like Ranpo’s questions were answered as Dazai walked into the room with a certain redhead
trailing behind him. The way how Chuuya looked over at Ranpo with familiar eyes proved his
hunch. Chuuya was the initial target, and he had his memories. How he had them? He assumed
Dazai used his ability. But the more Ranpo studied him, he noticed how the redhead was slightly
uncomfortable like his body and mind were in two different spots. He seemed to not have his
memories from this world. But why?
Ranpo was answering one question and coming out with two more. Luckily, it looked like the two
had it under control as they made their way to a strangely specific table. There were plenty of
empty tables and yet the two pick a table with a person at it. Specifically, a girl with dark hair.
Judging by the girl’s reaction to the two, it was safe to say they found their perpetrator. She was
quite adamant in looking at Chuuya specifically. This girl did not know how to act subtly.
Ranpo knew he could rely on Dazai to figure it out from here, but he couldn’t help being a little
curious. Luckily, by taking attendance, Ranpo finds out the girl’s name is Mary.
Mary Shelly.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
Chuuya, Dazai, and Mary slowly make their way out of the room. Chuuya was quite thankful for
Ranpo knowing about the situation because even on their own, they weren’t making it out
undetected. Maybe Dazai could’ve, but not while dragging Mary along. Either way, they were so
close to getting this over with and Chuuya really wanted to drink. But yet again, the universe
seemed to have something against him.
“I would just like to let you know, when my ability comes back seems to be quite random,” Dazai
reveals. “So unless we get super lucky right now, we’re not going back, unless…” Dazai turns to
Mary, “You can undo your ability manually.”
“I can’t?” Mary is finally talking normally, her cover being blown a long time ago, but she has a
hint of puzzlement in her voice while confirming.
“Perfect,” Chuuya sarcastically exclaims, “Why did you even use your ability on me?”
“I thought you would be happy! Why do you even want to go back? Also, how do you even have
your memories?” Mary explains, strangely confused.
“What do you mean you wanted me to be happy? I don’t even know you!” Chuuya exclaims, also
very confused.
“My ability allows me to nullify other abilities,” Dazai explains to Mary, “But what Chuuya said,
what do you mean you wanted him to be happy?”
“I guess you didn’t know I was there, but do neither of you remember last night?” It was Mary’s
turn to question.
“No?”
“You saved me,” Mary turns to Chuuya, “I was imprisoned by some organization while traveling
to Yokohama, they wanted to use me for my ability. I didn’t know how long I was there, all I
remember was wanting to get out, to see the world again. I thought my prayers had been answered
when all of a sudden the doors unlocked and I see you.” Mary looks at Chuuya with this
thankfulness in her eyes, like she had seen an angel.
“I watched as you destroyed everyone there,” Mary tells the story like it was the most amazing
thing she had ever seen, “I didn’t want to get in your way, so to repay my thanks, I used my ability
on you. You were on your way out, and the more I think about it, you were there as well,” Mary
looks to Dazai.
“Yeah, we had some joint mission where we needed to get rid of a threat quickly and silently,”
Dazai remembers the day before, “I don’t remember actually leaving or going home though.”
“I used my ability right before you left,” Mary explains, “I guess you coincidentally came in
contact with each other right when I used it which would explain you having your memories,”
“Yeah, about that, what even is your ability?” Chuuya asks.
Mary turns back to Chuuya.
“It’s called Frankenstein”
Chapter End Notes
:)
How do y'all think Mary's ability works?
Also, did any of y'all predict she was Mary Shelly?
You Like Your Boyfriend, I Like Your Mom
Chapter Summary
Mary explains her ability
Chapter Notes
I was honestly going to make this chapter longer, but then I got a concussion and
wasn't able to work on it for a few days so :)
Either way, enjoy
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
Chuuya leans against the wall, finally asking Mary about her ability. He thinks back to the story
Mary told as he tries to recall the night before. Like Dazai said, he couldn’t remember ever leaving
the area or going home. Cursing Dazai and himself for overlooking the memory gap, he listens to
Mary’s explanation.
“My ability is called Frankenstein. It allows me to rewrite events based on the target’s desires, in
this case, yours.” Mary gestures to the redhead. “It is a bit faulty as it is unable to just pull things
out of nowhere, so it rewrites already-happened events to create a sort of domino effect.”
That of course gets Chuuya thinking. ‘It is unable to just pull things out of nowhere’, ‘Rewrites
events based on the target’s desires”. I guess that confirms it. Accepting his feelings for the brunet
was quite a hard path for Chuuya to explore. And even after pulling himself out of the denial stage
and acknowledging their existence, there was still one more hill to climb. And Chuuya, to his
surprise, has reached the top. He is and has been in love with Dazai Osamu.
Mary pulls out a necklace from underneath her shirt. The necklace is very simple, just thread and
three pearls. What’s interesting is the fact that one of the pearls is faintly glowing.
“I’ve only ever used my ability once before, though it still feels like a dream,” Mary starts. “A long
time ago, I used it on a friend so he could live the life he wanted. I had this necklace then as well.
Unfortunately, my friend's happiness did not last long. I observed as the pearls on the necklace
started to glow. As my friend gained more wealth, the first pearl glowed. When he could play the
instrument he always desired, the second pearl glowed. Finally, when he saw his mother alive and
well, the third pearl glowed. Not long after, I woke to him telling me about the best dream he ever
had.” Mary reminisces on the memory, turning to Dazai. “I don’t think we need you to nullify my
ability. We just need Chuuya to witness all three wishes this universe was based on. I don’t know
what they were, but it seems he has already discovered one.” Mary holds the glowing pearl.
“You said they glow in correspondence to when the target fully witnesses their wish becoming
true, correct?” Dazai asks.
“Yes, this one started glowing just this morning before school even started,” Mary recalls, turning
to Chuuya, “I don’t want to pry, but whatever you saw this morning was related to one of your
deepest desires”.
Chuuya thinks about the pictures in the stairwell and the actual people who occupied the house he
woke up in this morning. You could say Chuuya has quite the desire to keep the people he cares
about safe and close, considering his past. Chuuya looks at the glowing pearl. That’s one down,
two to go.
He draws his attention to the apparent relationship this universe put him in as he starts to discover
what the second desire probably was. He silently scoffs to himself as he thinks about how even if
he never realized his feelings, they were always there deep down. Not wanting to reveal the second
wish, he brings up the possibility of the third, “I think the next one has something to do with the
fact that we were reverted to teenagers in high school, and the absence of my ability.”
“It might be something along the line of being able to live a different life, considering we didn’t
have the most typical teenage years,” Dazai suggests.
“As I said, I’ve only ever used my ability once until now, but I would assume a wish like that
would require you to fully experience this lifestyle. And hopefully, for the sake of time, that only
requires you to live a day like this,” Mary assumes, “Any ideas on the third?”
“Can’t think of anything,” Chuuya lies through his teeth.
He knows Dazai is looking at him, observing, waiting. Again, all Chuuya can do is block it out and
hope he doesn’t catch on. He might be fully aware of his feelings for the brunet, but that doesn’t
mean he wants him to know. Dazai refuses to let anyone love him. If he knew, Chuuya would just
be left in the dust, again.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Mary’s explanation of her ability replays in Dazai’s mind. He honestly hoped Chuuya’s third wish
had something to do with the fact that they were dating in this reality. But Dazai was convinced
Chuuya hated him, and the fact that even now Chuuya was ignoring him, enforces his assumption.
He remembered what Mary said, ‘It creates a sort of domino effect’. The events of this universe
were tailored to make Chuuya’s desires come true, their relationship was just a side effect. At least
the fact that it was possible made Dazai a little more content with his feelings.
The three enter the classroom to collect their stuff as the bell rings. The day is almost finally over.
Of course, he still has the next class with Chuuya, and Dazai doesn’t know how to feel. Ever since
he fully came to terms with his love for the redhead, he’s felt quite the mix of feelings. It’s hard for
him to take his eyes off Chuuya, which only forces him to watch how he ignores him.
Dazai doesn’t know where he went wrong. Chuuya was acting normal this morning, then around
fourth he seemed to just tense up around him, and then halfway through lunch, he couldn’t even
look at the brunet. Was it because he didn’t stop Chuuya from slowly inching closer to him,
eventually embarrassing him in front of Atsushi and Akutagawa? Saying it like that really does
make it look bad. But Dazai didn’t realize it was that big of a deal. God, he feels terrible. But it’s
strange. Dazai feels bad almost all the time, but this is different. What is this?
Guilt. Dazai, for once in his life, is guilty. He looks to the boy, no, the man beside him. How many
times has he blatantly stared at the redhead today? He can’t really help it, something about Chuuya
is just so beautiful that it would be doing him a disservice to not relish it.
“Why do you keep lookin at me?” Chuuya suddenly interrogates the brunet.
“I’m sorry,” Dazai blurts out.
“What?” Chuuya is visibly taken aback by the apology.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what happened at lunch would upset you so much,”
“Since when have you cared so much about what upsets me?”
“Since now, I guess. You’ve been ignoring me ever since lunch and I- never mind,” Dazai turns
away from the redhead, “I’m sorry.”
It felt weird for Dazai to say it, especially to Chuuya. Not once had he ever expressed actually
caring about the other’s emotions. But this feeling, guilt, it just felt like the right thing to do.
“Are you sure you’re actually Dazai? Why are you apologizing?” Chuuya accusingly questions the
brunet.
Dazai confusingly turns back, “I thought you were mad at me for what happened at lunch?”
“What? No? It worked out anyway, I don’t really care anymore.”
“Then why can’t you look at me?” Dazai questions, a lot more enthusiastically than he thought.
Chuuya pauses for a second, acknowledging the implications of the question, his face turning
slightly pink, “Why do you care so much about that?”
“Don’t change the subject”
“You’re changing the subject!” His face reddens.
“No fighting in my classroom,” A familiar voice states as they enter the health room. Dazai didn’t
even realize they were already there.
His eyes trail to the back of the classroom, not surprised to see the source of the voice. Yosano is
wearing a white coat over a black, high-neck blouse. Her hair is tied up into a bun with her usual
butterfly clip accenting her hair. Dazai expected nothing less.
“Ah Chuuya, I have a question. What flowers should I get for your mother tonight? I can’t decide
between irises or cosmos. Or maybe I should just stick to roses,” Yosano suddenly inquires with
this sense of familiarity, as if she already knows the redhead.
Chuuya is caught off guard by the question, especially because it’s about Kouyou nonetheless.
“Uh cosmoses sound fine,” Chuuya skeptically answers.
“Thanks.” Yosano turns back to her computer.

The two boys stand there for a moment before heading to a table in the back.
“Shut up,” Chuuya mumbles as Dazai chuckles.
That’s a relationship I was not expecting.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
------------------
As much as Chuuya was offset by the revelation of his “mother” and “teacher”’s relationship, he
was glad for the interruption. Chuuya couldn’t stop thinking about how unnaturally pressed Dazai
was in the hall. Especially because it was while he was expressing his strange concerns about
Chuuya not looking at him. Why would he care so much about something like that? It did make
him realize how while trying to keep Dazai from seeing through him, he was pretty much ignoring
the brunet. Still, the fact that Dazai cared so much about that confused Chuuya.
In fact, Dazai had been acting quite strange all day. Something about him was just a lot more. He
didn’t know how to explain it. Whenever he would look at the brunet, there was this look in his
eyes, one that was never there before. It seemed to grow throughout the day, dimming and glowing
again in different situations. Chuuya couldn’t pinpoint what made it change though. But again, he
hadn’t been very keen on studying the brunet, most of the time trying to keep Dazai from studying
him instead. And yet, he had this sudden curiosity.
Chuuya eventually let it get the best of him as he glanced to the man beside him. What he didn’t
expect was to meet the pair of honey-brown eyes staring back at him. In that instant, Chuuya was
frozen in time.
The sound of the other students’ conversations rolled to a muffle as all Chuuya could hear was his
heartbeat. He felt like he was underwater and the only thing in focus was Dazai. It wasn’t the first
time it had happened today, but that didn’t make it any easier to not get lost in every detail. The
way how the light from the window cast itself on Dazai, forming an almost halo effect around him.
He looked angelic, again, ironic considering his reputation. Chuuya couldn’t help but admit that
Dazai was quite pretty. But another light caught Chuuya’s eye. That look.
There was that look again, in Dazai’s eyes, glowing brighter than ever. Chuuya’s eyes widened as
he started to notice every sign on Dazai’s face. The content smile, the slight red glow on his
cheeks, and that star-struck look in his eyes. Chuuya had been ignoring it all day, so he never really
took the time to piece it all together. But now it felt like he was handed a fully completed puzzle.
Oh my god.
Does Dazai actually like me?
Chapter End Notes
"His eyes are like angels, his heart is cooooooooooold"

Anyway, we're getting close to the end! :D
Wish It Could Last Forever
Chapter Summary
Chuuya questions how different Dazai has been acting.

The two get to witness a home life they'll never have.
Chapter Notes
OVER 2k WORDS
I DID IT!!!!!!
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------
What felt like an eternity happened in the course of just a few seconds as Dazai seemed to falter out
of the face he was obliviously making. “It’s rude to stare,” He teases before Chuuya can say
anything. Not commenting on the fact that that's what Chuuya just caught him doing, he notes the
look still lingering in Dazai’s eyes.
“What happened to you?” Chuuya asks, ignoring the jab.
Dazai blinks, caught off guard by the sudden question, “What do you mean?”
“You’re different,” Chuuya didn’t mean it in an interrogating way, more of an observation, coming
out much softer than he would prefer.
Again, caught off guard, that’s been happening a lot lately, Dazai looks down at the desk.
“How so?” he sort of laughs, no sign in his eyes of actually finding anything funny.
Chuuya waits a moment, figuring out how to word it. “I don’t know, you’re just–” Chuuya pauses
again “–different. More , "
Dazai hums in response, keeping his eyes on the table. They sit in silence for a moment and
Chuuya thinks he said something wrong.
“I think No Longer Human took more away than just my vulnerability to other abilities,” Dazai
suddenly admits, startling Chuuya. Chuuya watches the brunet, waiting for him to continue.
Dazai shifts in his seat, obviously not used to being this open with the redhead. “I think it also took
away my actual emotions to an extent.” This surprises Chuuya. Not once had he even thought of
Dazai’s strange way with emotions, how he always seemed to be masking his true intent, being an
effect of his ability. He assumed it was just a tactic he used to manipulate people, to whatever
extent he needed. He never thought it was actually because Dazai couldn’t express those emotions
naturally.
Chuuya recalls the rare times he caught Dazai’s mask faltering. He remembers the expression– he
looked empty. Chuuya examines the man in front of him, even when letting down his walls and
actually talking about his feelings for once, it wasn’t that empty expression. He looked solemn,
nervous even, but not that lifeless expression Chuuya wished Dazai would never make again.
“So ever since this morning, I’ve been actually experiencing emotions for the first time in my life.
I-I don’t know how I feel about it,” Dazai concludes, staring holes into the table.
The two sit in silence, again.
“I mean, has anything surprised you, or is it just like a more exaggerated version of what little you
already felt?” Chuuya breaks the silence. Dazai quickly turns to the redhead, visibly shocked.
“What?” Chuuya chuckles at the sudden reaction, scrunching his eyebrows.
“I thought you were going to make fun of me.” Dazai scratches the back of his neck sheepishly,
causing Chuuya to scoff.
“I wouldn’t stoop that low, you just practically spilled your guts out in front of me!” Chuuya
defends.
Dazai smiles, embarrassed, “Sorry I doubted you, Chibi.”
“Hey! Don’t make me regret being nice to you!”
Dazai chuckles, “But to answer your question, yes, a lot of them are just stronger versions of what I
barely felt before,” Dazai pauses and he has that look again, “There have been a few nice surprises
though.”
The sight of Dazai practically glowing whenever he looked at Chuuya would honestly have him
rejoicing, but the implications of his last comment shut Chuuya’s party down fast. ‘Surprises’. If
the way Dazai looked at Chuuya while saying that had any implication, it was obvious that like
Chuuya, Dazai had discovered his feelings for the other just today. Which means he never felt
them before. Who was to say Dazai would keep these feelings when they returned? What if he
regretted ever feeling them and left Chuuya completely? What if he found out that Chuuya had
those feelings as well and couldn’t accept them? What if he made fun of him for it? Chuuya
refused to accept that Dazai loved him, not genuinely.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
It felt good to get it off his chest. Dazai wasn’t usually one to preach his woes. Normally, he would
just bottle them up and pretend that everything is fine. But if this ‘world’ was going to give him a
chance to be different, he was going to use it. It was a risk, and he took it.
His ability to actually feel wasn’t the only thing he thanked their situation for. Being in an
environment like this, seeing Chuuya in a different light, was beautiful. Speaking of beautiful,
Dazai hoped Chuuya didn’t notice how long he had been staring at him. It was unfair, how Chuuya
didn’t know what he was doing to him, how gorgeous he was. Even as a teenager, he looked
amazing, and that natural beauty only grew as he matured. Dazai was surprised he didn’t fully fall
head over heels for him when he was in the mafia. Even now, the way the afternoon light from the
window spilled into the classroom, highlighting Chuuya’s features, he was stunning. Could you
blame him for staring?
Eventually, the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Health went by fast, like most classes today.
It was interesting to watch Yosano teach, the way she was able to command the class. Dazai never
thought about it, but he had to admit, the role suited her.
About fifty minutes later, the final bell rang, dismissing students from their classes. Dazai and
Chuuya walked in comfortable silence to the front of the school. Chuuya commented how he didn’t
trust Dazai to drive a car home. Dazai dismissed his worries, saying that he would walk since he
lived in an apartment complex close to the school. Plus, the traffic looked terrible.
The walk home was nice. It wasn’t too warm out and the breeze was nice. Coming up to the
complex, a small smile appeared on his face as he thought about Oda. Oda was alive and lived
with him. Dazai didn’t know what their situation was in this universe, but he trusted him either
way. It made Dazai sad to remember how this was temporary, he isn’t ever going to get Oda back
again after this is over.
Finding the key in his backpack, he unlocks the door to find an empty apartment. I guess he’s
working. Taking off his shoes and making his way to his room, he flops onto the bed. He didn’t
even realize how tired he was until he laid down. Figuring out what to do now, he takes out his
phone. His eyes land on the gallery app as he presses his thumb to the screen.
The app opens to so many photos. Dazai’s eyes examine the screen as he clicks on the most recent
one. A picture of him and Chuuya. In fact, the majority are of him and Chuuya. The photo shows
the pair at a park Dazai remembers passing on the way home. They’re sitting on a bench as Dazai
seems to have reached the phone over to include the two in the shot. A wide grin plasters Dazai’s
face as Chuuya has his head down looking at what’s probably his phone. His striking blue eyes
peer through his hair, caught off guard by the sudden camera.
Dazai swipes his screen. There’s another one of them at the park. A more planned photo compared
to the previous one as both of them are looking up at the camera. They seem to be sitting on the
side of a hill, surrounded by wildflowers.
Dazai doesn’t know how long he spent just scrolling through the gallery, watching back the entire
break. Pictures were taken in what seems to be a library, a rollerskating rink, a restaurant, and a
few in this very bedroom. Some are of the pair, planned or not, and a few are candids of just
Chuuya. Wow, we really did go everywhere together. A smile finds its way onto his face as he
reminisces over memories he never experienced, yearning for this connection.
Getting up, he changes out his uniform for a pair of more comfortable clothes, a long baggy t-shirt
and a pair of sweats. It was too warm to wear any more layers, especially with his bandages.
Dazai hears the front door opening as he exits his room. Oda announces his arrival and takes a seat
on the small couch, visibly tired. Dazai approaches Oda, who greets him with a smile.
“How was school?”
“Fine,” Dazai shrugs, sitting down next to Oda.

“Ango should be here soon,” Oda states, checking his phone before getting up, “I’ll start working
on dinner.”
“Ah, okay.” Dazai watches as Oda walks over to the kitchen, turning on the stove. He didn’t know
what to make of the fact that Ango was mentioned and is ‘coming over’. He didn’t let it distract
him too much.
It was quite comforting, watching the wind blow through the trees as Oda cooked in the other
room. The smell of curry filled the floor. Of course. As much as Dazai wasn’t a fan of spice, curry
had a place in his heart for sentimental reasons.
As Dazai glanced out the window, his eyes caught sight of a small black car parked in front of the
complex. Soon after, a familiar face emerged from the car, holding a small box. It was Ango,
dressed in a matching brown suit to the one Dazai had seen him wear many times before. He
assumed Ango still worked for the government, or at least a similar job. Dazai had to remind
himself that this Ango was not the same one who had betrayed them as he watched the man
approach the door.
“Ango’s here,” Dazai announced as Oda entered the room. He opened the door before Ango could
even knock. The noiret’s eyes widened before settling into a calm smile.
“I brought dessert.” Ango held up the small box.
“You didn’t have to,” Oda takes the box out of his hands before pecking him on the cheek.
“Yes I did,” Ango defends as he closes the door behind him. He glances over to the brunet
slouched on the couch and waves, “Good afternoon, Dazai.”
“Hi.” Dazai watches as Ango follows Oda into the kitchen. Nothing surprises me anymore. He
always felt like there was something between his friends, but he stopped thinking about that after
Oda’s death. It was comforting to know that there is a world where they’re still happy.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------
Chuuya sat in the living room with Kouyou, a small tv playing some rerun of a show he never
bothered to watch illuminated the corner. He sunk farther into the leather couch, finding comfort in
the atmosphere. Kouyou quietly sipped on some herbal tea, Kyoka’s soft voice could be heard
through the wall as she called one of her friends, it all felt homey. Chuuya felt at home.
A sudden knock on the door breaks the air as Kouyou gets up to answer it. She quickly opens the
door, revealing their visitor. Yosano smiles as she says something quietly to Kouyou, handing her a
small bouquet. A bouquet of cosmos.
Kouyou takes the flowers, letting Yosano in. “Chuuya, could you please go find a vase to put these
in,” Kouyou requests, gently handing him the bouquet of pink and orange flowers.
Chuuya takes the bouquet into the kitchen, filling up a white vase with water and setting it on the
table. It's not like he hasn't done stuff like this before, Kouyou always had a skill for flowers and
wanted to pass it on to Chuuya. It was always simple things like their meanings and how to arrange
them. Okay, maybe not so simple. But Chuuya slowly developed a love for it.
He trimmed the stems to fit the vase, moving the flowers around to his liking. He heard Kyoka
leaving her room, greeting Yosano as she took Chuuya’s spot on the couch. Chuuya sighs,
observing the people occupying the living room. A smile makes its way onto Chuuya’s face. As
much as he wants to get back to his original world, he wouldn’t mind staying here for a while.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Dazai retreated to his room as Oda bid Ango farewell, wanting to give the two some privacy. The
past few hours were a great distraction, Dazai almost forgot about the approaching deadline. They
would be going back to their original world soon. Dazai didn't know how to feel.
He knew he couldn’t stay here forever, but he was honestly scared to go. In just a day, Dazai
experienced so many things he didn’t know if he’ll ever experience again. It was funny, really. The
Dazai Osamu, scared.
Dazai thought about his newfound sense of emotion, how he’ll lose it the second they return. How
was he going to deal with that? It was already hard to gain them, how hard was it going to be to
lose them? Was he really going to lose everything? He didn't want that. He didn’t want to lose the
feeling he got around Chuuya, how happy the redhead made him feel. Oh my god. Was he never
going to feel true happiness again? He could barely remember what it felt like to be so empty as he
was.
He knew it was inevitable. Chuuya would witness all three of his wishes and they would go back.
And Dazai would have to live with the fact that he loved Chuuya but couldn’t express it. Dazai
always had this feeling around Chuuya, even with his ability, like there was some itch in his heart.
At least when Dazai gets his ability back, he’ll still have that. But he didn’t want to lose what he
had now. That passion.
Dazai made up his mind. He’ll take advantage of it while he still has it.
He’ll tell Chuuya how he feels.
Chapter End Notes
Next chapter is the last ;)

I'll probably do an epilogue as well, don't worry
Chapter Summary
Dazai has a lot to get off his chest
Chapter Notes
:)
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
Standing together in a recluse corner of the courtyard, Chuuya and Dazai wait for Mary. Dazai
leans against a large tree, crossing his arms. He really hated being up this early in the morning and
it seemed Chuuya felt the same. The redhead stretches his arms over his head as he unsuccessfully
suppresses a yawn. Dazai turns away, squeezing his eyes shut. Why was that so adorable?!
Luckily, Mary shows up right on time to unknowingly save Dazai as she waves to them. Mary
holds up the necklace, showing off the pearls. Dazai’s eyes are drawn to the faint glow of the
second pearl, matching the first.
“Judging by the fact that I found it like this when I woke up, our theory yesterday was correct,”
Mary references the second wish and how living a whole day in this world is most likely what
fulfilled it.
“Great, just one more to go,” Chuuya crosses his arms, “Though, it’s probably going to take a
while,” he sort of mumbles to himself.
“About that,” Mary starts, “The third pearl glowed yesterday.”
“What?” Dazai tried to hide the worry in his voice. He didn’t want to leave so soon.
“During eight yesterday, the pearl glowed before dimming again,” Mary clarifies.
Chuuya seems to scowl for a moment before asking skeptically, “When?”
“Just before class.”
Dazai thinks back to yesterday. His weird argument/misunderstanding in the hallway. What could
he have seen then? He always argues with Chuuya so it couldn’t have been that. He replays the
memory all the way to health.
Yosano. It was probably Yosano. They learned about her and Kouyou’s relationship, which was
probably related to his third wish. Of course, Chuuya cares about Kouyou, so it’s obviously that.
But why would it stop glowing?
Dazai was sure they would figure it out soon, Chuuya already got close enough to get the pearl to
glow. They just need to figure out how to keep it glowing. After that, they’ll be going back. And
that would be relieving if Dazai didn’t have unfinished business here.
Yes, this world was amazing. It gave him Odasaku and even granted him the chance to realize his
feelings for Chuuya. But even though he finally knew of their existence, he worried that he
wouldn’t be able to express them properly. Not in his original world at least. And if they’re leaving
soon, he might miss that opportunity.
It’s now or never.
Dazai felt like his heart was going to burst. He watched as Chuuya checked the time, “We should
head to class soon,” Chuuya suggested, glancing at Dazai. God. Chuuya really didn’t know what he
was doing to him. Dazai stared into those blue eyes, a sense of courage washed through him.
Dazai instinctively grabbed Chuuya’s arm, surprising the redhead. “You okay?” Chuuya looked up
at Dazai, his voice offering a hint of care. Dazai’s throat felt dry. Why can’t I just say it?
"I don't want to leave this world," Dazai finally answers. "I know it’s not my decision, and we’ll
eventually go back once you figure out how to get your final wish to work, but I just-,” He
interrupts himself, squeezing Chuuya’s arm, “I’m scared, Chuuya. I’m scared I won’t be able to
deal with having my ability now that I’ve experienced proper emotion. And I’m scared because…”
He pauses. Goddammit just say it. “I’m scared because I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever express
my feelings like I can now.”
Chuuya looks at Dazai with those same eyes as before. Those beautiful, caring eyes. The same
eyes Chuuya gave him yesterday when he spilled out his feelings in health. And now he’s making
him listen to his word vomit again. God, Dazai doesn’t deserve this man. Dazai stares at his feet,
face red.
“So, I’m just going to say it while I can, I really fucking love you. I love you so much, it hurts. I
love you so much I’m scared I won’t be able to tell you how much I love you after this. I won’t be
able to tell you how you’re beautiful, and charming, and strong, and even when I have my ability,
how much I just love being around you,” Chuuya’s breath hitches. “I love how much you care
even when you don’t want to, it drives me mad–”
“Even with your ability?” He interrupts his rant. Dazai finally looks at Chuuya who also has his
head down, his ears a vibrant shade of red that rivals his hair.
“I-I mean, yeah?” Dazai is caught off guard by the sight, “I always had this feeling around you, I
just didn’t know what it was until now.”
“So even when you get your ability back, you’ll still have that feeling? You’ll know what it is?”
Dazai pauses for a second. Why is Chuuya asking him this? “I-I should, I don’t know if it’ll be as
strong–”
“Is that a yes or a no?” Chuuya interrupts again, almost desperately.
“Yes,” Dazai reassures immediately, buckling under the sound of Chuuya’s voice.
The two stand there, Dazai now holding onto Chuuya’s hand. And Chuuya doesn’t pull away.
“Promise?” He barely whispers, making Dazai’s voice catch in his throat. Except the answer
wasn’t difficult at all. They’ll always trust each other. It’s how they survive.
“I promise.”
Chuuya exhales in a shaky breath, finally looking up at Dazai, his eyes glossy and face red. A
small chuckle escapes his lips, probably laughing at whatever face Dazai was making. The two
stare at each other before Chuuya finally speaks up.
“Are you seriously going to make me do it?” He sighs.
Dazai tilts his head, confused. Chuuya sighs again, unable to hide the smile that forms on his face.
Chuuya steps forward and grabs the back of Dazai’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. The second their
lips meet, Dazai practically melts. It was as if at that moment, all Dazai wanted, all he could think
about, was Chuuya. Not like hadn’t already been completely obsessed with him before. His hands
eventually find their way to his waist, pulling him closer. He feels Chuuya bury his hand into his
hair, his other hand cupping Dazai’s neck, tracing along his jaw.
Chuuya pulls away, laughing against Dazai’s lips. “God, you’re a mess.”
Dazai hums, “Yes, but I’m your mess now,” he quips, resting his head in the crook of Chuuya’s
neck. Chuuya chuckles. “Lucky me,” he says sarcastically with no bite behind it, running his hand
through Dazai’s hair. Dazai wishes he could live in this moment forever.
The two almost forget about Mary before she clears her throat, her face red. She turns away from
them, gathering her composure, and holds up the necklace. All three pearls are glowing.
Dazai looks at Chuuya, eyes wide. “I thought-”
Chuuya puts his finger to Dazai’s lips, “Just shut up for once,” he smiles at the brunet.
Dazai’s face settles into a grin, “It’s going to take more than that,” he teases.
Chuuya rolls his eyes before planting another kiss on Dazai’s lips.
“Happy?”
“Very.”
Pulling away, the two notice the increasing glowing light from the necklace. Chuuya smiles before
turning to Mary, who has finally regained her composure.
“Thank you.”
“Of course,” Mary waves, “It was my intention from the beginning.”
It doesn’t take long for the light to engulf the trio, as Dazai’s consciousness fades to black.
When Dazai shows up for work the next morning with a smile he can’t seem to shake, Ranpo
encourages no one to question it. And when a certain redhead comes by to drag him off to who-
knows-where, well, that’s their business.
Chapter End Notes
And we've reached the end!

I hope y'all enjoyed it, this was my very first time writing a fic EVER.
I don't really know what to do for the epilogue so I would really appreciate it if y'all
actually just commented what you would like to see :)
EPILOGUE
Chapter Summary
A few months after the incident

Dazai has a new way with life
Chapter Notes
I can't believe I actually got all of this done EARLY

2K WORDS
Anyway, if I didn't use your idea, or didn't show it that much in this chapter, I'm sorry.
I am going to be writing more works around this AU and will definitely be using some
ideas from y'all and some of my own :)
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
People leisurely walking down the street, the small ring of store and cafe doors being opened, the
sun coming close to the horizon, casting a warm glow onto everything it saw; to Dazai, they were
just observations, something for his mind to accept as a fact and nothing more. But that didn’t stop
him from searching for that calm feeling he once felt. The feelings No Longer Human took from
him.
Dazai had just left the agency, completing his day's worth of annoying Kunikida and slacking off.
He walked along the sidewalk, hands in his coat. He had traveled the path enough times to allow
him to go on autopilot, taking in his surroundings. Every day, he walked his recently rerouted path
from work, hoping that one day, he’ll get something other than an observation. It would be a
miracle, but Dazai still dreamed.
It had been a few months since Dazai moved in with Chuuya. It wasn’t something they could really
share with anyone else as they both agreed not to let anyone know of their relationship. Chuuya
said he wasn’t embarrassed, but Dazai knew he was. Dazai didn’t take any offense to it though, he
understood why. Chuuya was technically dating his enemy, the man he swore he hated and would
kill before the brunet could do it himself.
Thinking about Chuuya at least brought something out in Dazai. There was something sweet about
the fact that Dazai’s love for Chuuya was strong enough that not even No Longer Human could
keep Dazai from feeling it. He would always get that spark around the redhead. He just couldn’t
show it. How strong it is. And Chuuya knew this.
Dazai deeply appreciated Chuuya's understanding of his emotional limitations. At first, Dazai was
afraid of hurting Chuuya because he couldn't fully express his feelings. Chuuya would expect more
than what Dazai could give him and would end up feeling betrayed. And betraying Chuuya was the
last mistake Dazai wanted to repeat. And yet, Chuuya reassured Dazai that he only needed him to
stay. That alone would be enough to show him what was left unsaid. So ‘stay’ he did.
Dazai would still do everything he could to show Chuuya how he felt. He would let Chuuya vent
about a bad day, hold him as close as he could when they slept, hell, he even moved in with him.
But the most noticeable thing was just falling back into their old rhythm. Heading down to the
arcade on their days off, bantering like normal with just a slightly less amount of bite behind each
word, it was enough. Because even if Dazai couldn’t say it, Chuuya knew, and he trusted him with
every unsaid word he threw back at him.
Dazai found himself in front of the apartment door, inserting the key into the keyhole as he twisted
the handle. It felt a little weird to enter Chuuya’s (and technically Dazai’s) space normally. It was
one of the first times Dazai didn’t have to break in, pick the lock, or climb through a window. He
had a key. He was welcomed. He was loved.
Dazai entered the apartment as the smell of whatever Chuuya was making filled his senses. The
apartment was gigantic compared to the admittedly sad dorm Dazai lived in. It was nice to enter a
space that wasn’t filled with takeout boxes and empty bottles. Dazai never felt like he needed to
clean his old space, he was the only one who would be there and he didn’t care, so why would he
need to? Living with Chuuya at least kept him accountable. He could say the cleaner space did
make him feel a little better. That’s one more good thing Chuuya has done for Dazai to add to the
list. God, Dazai doesn’t deserve this man.
There were quite a lot of changes Chuuya made to Dazai’s life when they started dating. Of course,
there were things like his schedule and living situation, but his mental and physical health fairly
improved as well. About a week into their relationship, Atsushi was already questioning him.
“What are you making?” Dazai slips his arms around Chuuya’s waist as the redhead stirs some
sauce and mushrooms around in a pan.
“I wanted to use up those chicken breasts in the fridge and decided to try a new recipe,” Chuuya
absentmindedly stirs with the wooden spoon, nodding to the ingredients on the counter.
Dazai turns to the assortment of herbs and vegetables, notably the opened wine bottle, “Is the wine
included or could you just not wait to drink?” Dazai jokes, earning him a small jab in the side.
“It adds flavor,” Chuuya defends, “Plus, I know your lanky ass didn’t eat lunch today. You’re
eating this whether you like it or not.”
Dazai groans as he buries his face into the redhead’s neck, “How did you knowww.”
“That friend of yours, Kunikida I believe, complained to me about it,” Chuuya laughs.
Dazai’s eyes go wide. Oh no. “Why are you talking to each other?” he nervously laughs. The last
thing he wanted was for Chuuya and Kunikida to meet. There’s one major thing they have in
common, and that’s being a victim of Dazai’s antics. If they’re talking, they’ll definitely team up
against him.
“Oh,” Chuuya starts like it’s some everyday story, but judging by the smirk on his face, he knows
what Dazai is thinking, “I bumped into him at the store today. He immediately came up to me to
make sure I wasn’t there to ‘destroy the hard-working business’ because apparently, I can’t just
buy groceries. After realizing I had no ill intent, he apologized and started going off about how
stressful his day was,” Chuuya knowingly looks at Dazai, “You were quite the main character.”
Dazai groans, “This is my worst nightmare.”
Chuuya chuckles before putting on a more serious face. Dazai immediately notices the change in
atmosphere and straightens up. “He cares about you, y'know. They all do, those agency members,”
Chuuya assures the brunet, rubbing his thumb over Dazai’s knuckles.
“I know,” Dazai sighs, “It’s just… hard. I knew I was different before, but now it’s so much more
obvious.”
“You’re doing your best, that’s all that matters.”
Dazai smiles, “Thank you, Chuuya. What would I do without you?”
“Probably die, considering how much I have to feed you,” Chuuya jokes, lightening the
atmosphere.
“You’re fattening me up on purpose! You’re lucky I walk to work and back.”
“Oh please, you were practically skin and bone before I started forcing you to actually eat three
meals a day! It’s healthy to have some weight on you. Plus, you’re much more fun to cuddle like
this,” Chuuya defends, slipping his arms around the brunet.
“Well, I guess I can accept that excuse,” Dazai mumbles as he hugs Chuuya back, resting his chin
on the redhead’s curls. He could smell the over-priced shampoo Chuuya used.
Sadly, their embrace didn't last long as Chuuya suddenly pulls away. "Ah shit, the sauce!" Chuuya
returns to the stove and turns the burner down. He steps back, grabbing a mitt as he pulls out the
cooked chicken from the oven.
As much as Dazai loved to procrastinate everything, including basic necessities, he absolutely

adored Chuuya's cooking. Something about it just gave him this content feeling that just barely
made its way past the barrier of No Longer Human. He also remembered feeling it around
Odasaku and Ango, in this world, and their little adventure a few months ago.
Chuuya starts plating the food, using a spoon to pour the sauce over the chicken. Dazai tries to
whine about how much Chuuya is trying to overfeed him but the redhead just ignores him. The
food did look really good.
Chuuya hands Dazai his plate as they bring their food over to the table. Chuuya already has a glass
of white wine near his seat.
“Is Chibi seriously drinking wine with this? Didn’t you put some in the food?” Dazai half teases,
half questions.
“Cooking the wine gets rid of the alcohol and leaves the flavors. Plus, I’ll only have one glass,”
Chuuya defends.
Well, one glass was quickly emptied and refilled, and then another, and by the end of the meal,
Chuuya was visibly more than just tipsy. Dazai rested his chin on his hand as Chuuya rambled on.
Something about how Chuuya acts when he’s drunk was just so endearing. But Chuuya’s little ted
talk was cut short when a knock rang through the apartment.
Chuuya shoots out of his seat, stumbling to the door, “I’ll get it!”
Dazai tries to grab the redhead but misses, allowing Chuuya to get to the door. Chuuya swings the
door open, revealing a very surprised Akutagawa.
“Akutagawaaaa! How are you maboyy,” Chuuya slurs through his words.
“Ah, Chuuya-san. Seems I came at a bad time…” Akutagawa awkwardly backs away.
“No, no, notatall!” Chuuya grabs Akutagawa’s arm, “Y’wanna see maboyfriend?”
Dammit Chibi!
“Excuse me?” Akutagawa questions, shocked, as he gets dragged to the kitchen by the redhead.
“None taken! He’sa real fishy bastard… but I still love’em,” Chuuya continues to slur through his
words as Dazai tries to hide. You don’t realize how few hiding spots there are in a kitchen until
you really need one. And Dazai really needs one right now.
Dazai ends up diving under the table, hoping the tablecloth is hiding him. Chuuya’s drunken
ramble quiets as the two enter the kitchen, the redhead blinking slowly as he looks around the
room.
“Whathe… where, where did’he go?” Chuuya staggers through the kitchen.
“Um, Chuuya-san, I think it’s time to go to bed. You’ve had too much to drink,” Akutagawa tries to
drag Chuuya out of the kitchen.
Chuuya sits on the ground in protest, staring blankly at nothing in particular. He activates his
ability, a red glow covering his entire body, keeping him in place. Akutagawa struggles, trying to
pry the redhead off the floor.
“Chuuya-san, please,” Akutagawa almost exclaims, slightly irritated. If Dazai could, he would be
laughing at the situation.
“Did’he really leave?” Chuuya asks almost to himself, his voice quiet. Dazai’s breath catches in his
throat.
“He… he left me again,” Chuuya’s voice breaks, and so does Dazai’s heart.
Akutagawa crouches down next to the redhead, his hand hesitantly resting on Chuuya’s shoulder.
Chuuya slowly turns to the noiret, his eyes glossy. Dazai couldn’t see Akutagawa’s expression as
his back was to the table. But it seemed Chuuya could see Dazai’s as blue eyes follow the hidden
figure behind Akutagawa. Chuuya’s face lights up like a Christmas tree as he shuffles his way over
to the table.
“Dazai!” Dazai’s heart almost explodes at the sound of Chuuya’s voice exclaiming his name.
Chuuya drags the brunet from under the table with way more strength than a drunk person should
have. Akutagawa’s head whips around at the sound of his ex-mentor’s name, his eyes widening in
a mix of shock and confusion.
“Dazai-san?” Akutagawa barely makes out, “What are you doing here-” His eyes widen even
further before settling into a knowing expression.
Dazai awkwardly laughs, “Aha, yeah…”
The three sit there in awkward silence as Chuuya refuses to let go of Dazai’s arm, fidgeting with
the button on his sleeve.
“Just… don’t tell anyone,” Dazai scratches the back of his neck, “Alright?”
“Of course Dazai-san,” Akutagawa answers immediately.
Well, that didn’t last long.
The first thing Dazai is greeted with when he enters the Angecy the next morning is a smirk from
Ranpo and a glance from Atsushi before he quickly turns back to his work. Odd. Dazai goes to sit
down at his desk, noting the tense atmosphere coming from his mentee.
“Um, Dazai-san?” Atsushi finally speaks up.
“Yes?” Dazai turns to face the weretiger.
“I was just wondering, well I wasn’t at first but then Akutagawa- no, Akutagawa didn’t say
anything!” Atsushi stumbles over his words, “Akutagawa didn’t tell me anything at all! Nope!”
“Atsushi, just spit it out.”
“Are you dating Nakahara?” Atsushi quickly yells/questions, grabbing the attention of the whole
office. The entire room falls to silence.
“...”
Kunikida sighs, “Atsushi, there’s no way anyone, let alone a Mafia Executive, would date Daz-”
“Yeah, I am.”
The room would be entirely silent if it wasn’t for the sound of Kunikida’s pen hitting the ground.
Or maybe it was his sanity. The silence is broken by a sigh coming from Yosano as she hands a bill
to Ranpo.
Chapter End Notes
FINALLY
THE END
Also, the dish I imagined Chuuya making was Chicken Marsala. I wanted to have him
make something with wine in it and immediately thought of that dish.
Edit:
EPILOGUE 2 IS ON THE WAY!
EPILOGUE 2
Chapter Summary
A continuation
Chapter Notes
This chapter is quite short compared to the others but does its job :)
Hope you enjoy!
NAKAHARA CHUUYA
-----------------
Chuuya groaned as he laid his head down on his desk, shutting his eyes as hard as he could. His
head was killing him. Fuck, how much did I drink last night? Dazai decided to inform Chuuya of
their little visitor from last night as he was getting ready. Yeah, maybe don’t drop important
information on someone while they’re trying to swallow headache medication. After discussing the
fact that the cat was out of the bag and would definitely run around, they came to an agreement.
They weren’t going to announce their relationship, but they also weren’t going to hide it.
Chuuya reluctantly lifts his head as his phone starts buzzing.
<Makeral>
Chuuya groans as he accepts the call and puts it on speaker.
“Heyyyyy Chibi,” Dazai greets through the phone. He never calls Chuuya at this hour.
“Mmmm, what do you want?” Chuuya groans again.
“Are we dating?”
“What kind of question is that? Did you take those mushrooms again?” Chuuya starts to
interrogate.
“No no, nothing of the sort. Just answer the question Chibi.”
“Yes?”
Multiple voices are heard on the other line as Dazai seems to say something along the lines of ‘told
you’.
“Thank you Chuuya,” Dazai sing-songs as he hangs up.
What the hell.
DAZAI OSAMU
------------
“Well, there you go! Your proof as requested,” Dazai dramatically gestures as he slips his phone
back into his pocket.
“Well I’ll be damned,” Yosano chuckles, “I never thought someone like you could score someone
like Nakahara.”
“You swear you didn’t blackmail him? This isn’t one of your messed up pranks?” Kunikida
skeptically looks at Dazai.
“Guys! At least have a little faith in me!” Dazai exclaims.
“He was partners with Mr. Fancy-hat for like, three years in the mafia. They’ve known each other
for seven,” Ranpo speaks up.
“Seven years?” Kunikida asks, dumbfounded.
“Yep! Met when we were fifteen,” Dazai answers cheerfully.
“I’m surprised he’s dealt with you for this long,” Kunikida bluntly states.
Dazai gasps dramatically, “I can’t believe you would say that Kunikida! I am a wonderful person
to be around.”
“Not if you keep this up,” Kunikida retorts.
“He’s not wrong, Dazai,” Ranpo speaks up again, “Though, I’m surprised it took you this long to
get together. You claim to hate each other but seem to radiant sexual tension the second you’re in a
room together,” he laughs.
Dazai turns to Ranpo and gives him a look as if to remind him of a certain raccoon-owning author.
Ranpo scowls and turns away, pink dusting his cheeks.
“Well, if you all are done interrogating me, I would love to be left alone.” Dazai smiles.
“Yeah yeah,” Yosano walks towards her infirmary before yelling back, “You better invite me to the
wedding!”
Dazai already had a pair of headphones resting on his head, blasting music, but that didn’t stop the
small smile gracing his lips. Maybe one day.
Chapter End Notes

OKAY
THE ACTUAL END
But seriously, I really hope y'all enjoyed the fic and I hope this ending was sufficient :)
As this was my first fic EVER, I am EXTREMELY grateful for all of the support!
This actually means so much to me and I am so happy that y'all enjoyed my writing.
Well, that's it from me for now
I'll be lurking in the comments like I always do ;)
Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!

The Life We Couldve

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The Life We Could've Lived

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/46543999.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

The Life We Could've Lived

This is my first fic ever so constructive criticism is welcome :)

"Oda," Dazai whispers.

I think I'll officially update this every sunday

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"What the fuck"

Getting up a bit more hurriedly, he enters what looks to be an ensuite bathroom.

"What the fuck," Chuuya gasps as he studies his reflection.

Chuuya sighs in relief at the sight of Kouyou, "Good morning Ane-san."

"Uh, yeah. Just tired." Chuuya tries to smile.

Kouyou looks at him questioningly before turning towards the door.

Chuuya doesn't know whether to be excited or nervous.

"First Period - AP Chemistry - Mori Ougai"

"Don't forget your schedule, I set it on the counter," Oda adds.

"Ah, thanks," Dazai affirmed.

"First Period - AP Chemistry - Mori Ougai"

"Second Period - Theater - Edgar Poe & Nikolai Gogol"

"Third Period - Economics - Fukuzawa Yukichi"

"Fourth Period - AP Calculus - Kunikida Doppo"

"Fifth Period - Russian - Fyodor Dostoyevsky"

"Sixth Period - Lunch/Homeroom - Fukuzawa Yukichi"

"Seventh Period - English 12 - Edogawa Ranpo"

"Eighth Period - Health Science - Yosano Akiko"

Chapter End Notes

I finally wrote a chapter longer than 1k words :D

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"First Period - AP Chemistry - Mori Ougai"

“Second Period - Beginning Kinesiology - Hirotsu Ryuro" what.

"Third Period - Economics - Francis Fitzgerald"

"Fourth Period - AP Calculus - Kunikida Doppo"

"Fifth Period - Creative Writing - Mushitaro Oguri"

"Sixth Period - Lunch/Homeroom - Mori Ougai"

"Seventh Period - English 12 - Edogawa Ranpo"

"Eighth Period - Health Science - Yosano Akiko"

"I-I'm sorry, it's not my business. Forgive me for my rude-"

Chapter End Notes

Hirostu as a gym teacher is so funny to me.

WE REACHED OVER 100 KUDOS

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“What is he talking about?” Dazai quickly leans over to Akutagawa.

“More like which one is he talking about,” Akutagawa responds.

Chuuya sighs as he turns towards the gym.

Chapter End Notes

Bi Dazai and Gay Chuuya go brrrrrrr

CW/TW : HOMOPHOBIA AND SWEARING

See the end of the chapter for more notes

This is going to be a long day. Chuuya sighs.

Typical excentric Nikolai.

“Are you taking Russain?” He asks expectantly.

“Bingo!” Dazai exclaims and Nikolai claps to himself smiling.

“Nope,” Dazai responds, popping the p.

“Your neck bandages are gone”

Chapter End Notes

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“H-hey!” Chuuya’s face turns slightly red.

“Stop calling me that”

Chapter End Notes

I was mentally giggling while writing that last segment

Just a smidge of angst.

See the end of the chapter for more notes