i won’t allow it

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/48611824.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F, Gen, M/M, F/M
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs, MILGRAM (Music
Videos)
Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu &
Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Shiina Mahiru/Yuzuriha
Kotoko, Kajiyama Fuuta/Kayano Mikoto, Kajiyama Fuuta & Yuzuriha
Kotoko, Kajiyama Fuuta & Kashiki Yuno, Dazai Osamu/Yuzuriha
Kotoko, Nakahara Chuuya/Kayano Mikoto, Kajiyama Fuuta/Kashiki
Yuno
Character: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Yuzuriha Kotoko, Kajiyama Fuuta, Kayano Mikoto, Shiina
Mahiru, Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Arahabaki (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Es (MILGRAM)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, College Setting, Crack Crossover,
Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Implied/Referenced Underage
Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm,
Disabled Character, Implied/Referenced Torture, Alcohol
Abuse/Alcoholism, Family Dynamics, Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Soft Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou
Stray Dogs), Partners to Lovers, Caring Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Possessive Arahabaki
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Hallucinations, POV Alternating, Obsessive
Behavior, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health Issues, Bonding
over being suicidal, No beta we die like es’s gender, Ambiguous
Relationships, No Smut, Friends With Benefits, Everyone Is Gay,
Crossover Pairings, Aged-Up Character(s), Academic rivals, Rivals With
Benefits, (not Soukoku tho), group chats, Unreliable Narrator, Open
Relationships, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic
Tension, Unresolved Tension, (in general), Ableism, Narcolepsy, Sign
Language, Smoking, I Will Go Down With This Ship, (all of these ships),
I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Past Relationship(s),
Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Character Death, Post-
Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Extended
Metaphors
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-07-15 Updated: 2023-07-19 Words: 4,501 Chapters:
2/?

i won’t allow it
by booksandmanga22

Summary

“Sorry to interrupt your leave, but this is important. I’m sending you on a mission. To
America.”

Chuuya’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t help it. But I haven’t even been sent outside of Japan
yet?! On the outside, he knew he had visibly stiffened. “I mean no offense, Boss, but do
you really think I would be the best pick for such a job?” He asked, a tad uncertain.

Mori brought a hand to his mouth in order to stifle a near-overflowing chuckle. “Well,” he
responded, peeking between his fingers with a mirthful gaze, “I believe you’re my only
option, seeing as this mission’s purpose is to retrieve Dazai Osamu and bring him back to
the Port Mafia.”

or, Dazai fled to America after he defected from the Mafia and wanted to experience a
normal life until he had to go back into the fold. Also, he’s conveniently eighteen. Hence,
COLLEGE TIME! oh and chuuya has to chase after him while holding onto that tiny shred
of hope that he’ll come back for chuuya (bc he’s delulu)

oh, and Milgram there too. Some of them. And Something happened at the end of all the
trials. Something that means they’re Not Okay. Something that means Dazai and Kotoko
besties!!
 Dazai Osamu and Yuzuriha Kotoko Want to Kiss Each Other! (Not ??)
Chapter Notes

so before you read, please note that I chose Princeton as the college for two reasons
A) it’s considered the number one college by many and we all know Dazai wouldn’t
settle for less and
B) bc my parents went there and i love my parents unlike basically every bsd and
milgram character ever

also please keep in mind that I don’t always write what I mean. I’m silly like that lmao

Enjoy!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Good morning, Boss.” Chuuya greeted Mori Ougai through gritted teeth as he bowed his
head low to the ground, hoping his agitation didn’t show. What was so important that his boss felt
the need to call on him at six a.m.? And when he was on leave, to make matters even worse!

Mori, on the other hand, wore a sly grin. “Do you have any idea why I called you here
today, Chuuya-kun?” His gloved hands, draped over his knees in a languid, familiar pose, fluttered
with something resembling anticipation.

Chuuya could only shrug in response. “No idea.” Especially since I’m on leave.

Instead of sighing or getting annoyed, Mori just kept that stupid smirk on his face, his eyes
shining with a strange fervor. “Sorry to interrupt your leave, but this is important. I’m sending you
on a mission. To America.”

Chuuya’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t help it. But I haven’t even been sent outside of Japan
yet?! On the outside, he knew he had visibly stiffened. “I mean no offense, Boss, but do you really
think I would be the best pick for such a job?” He asked, a tad uncertain.

Mori brought a hand to his mouth in order to stifle a near-overflowing chuckle. “Well,” he
responded, peeking between his fingers with a mirthful gaze, “I believe you’re my only option,
seeing as this mission’s purpose is to retrieve Dazai Osamu and bring him back to the Port Mafia.”

Chuuya gaped. Nobody had mentioned Dazai in front of him in well, what seemed like
forever. Though he couldn’t be truly shocked, as Mori had always been on the bolder side. And it’s
not like the name had any effect on Chuuya. He wasn’t that sensitive. It didn’t. Yet his next words
happened to directly contradict that exact train of thought.

“Again, with all due respect, sir, why the fuck would you ever think this supposed retrieval
mission was a good idea?” Chuuya immediately bit his lip, desperately wishing to take his brash
question back yet knowing full well it was his true belief. And his tone, it had been too flighty.
Had his voice cracked?

Fuck you, Dazai.

For the first time in the conversation, Mori frowned. “Chuuya-kun, how could you ever
think that getting back our best Executive wasn’t a good idea?”

Chuuya flinched. It stung, harder than he’d like to admit. Mori always knows exactly what
he’s doing, doesn’t he? Talking to me like I’m expendable, like I’m second place, or maybe not
even.

But you are always second, he’s right. It even gets to the point where I have to wonder how
someone so valuable manages to be so undervalued in everything he does and at every place he
works?

Chuuya rubbed at his face with his hands. “Shut up, Arahabaki.” He hissed underneath his
breath.

But Mori heard, and his head snapped up, his intent gaze once again focusing on Chuuya.
“What did you just say?”

“Nothing, Boss, nothing.” Chuuya said quickly, still greatly unnerved by the talkativeness of
the god trapped inside of him. It’d started going on like this a few days before, and it hadn’t
stopped since. All the same bullshit insults in that grating, monstrous rasp.

It’d started the night Dazai blew up his car and betrayed him. Left him forever. Dazai
hadn’t left him for the light, he’d left him in the dark.

We would’ve gone with you. You should’ve taken us with you. How could you ever
question us? I miss you. And Arahabaki’s startling, pained confession hurt even worse than that
ancient Petrus had, when Chuuya had downed the entire bottle what seemed like an eternity ago.

“Anyway, I expect you to be prepared to leave on this mission in less than three days.” Mori
said primly.

“But- er, where am I headed? In America, I mean. And how am I going to learn the
language in less than three days?” Chuuya protested. Normally, he wouldn’t go against his boss’s
words in any way, shape, or form. But this involved Dazai. This was different. And why was Dazai
even in America anyway? What did he have to gain there?

Mori smiled indulgently as he responded. “We have ability users for that exact reason. And
as for your second question . . .you’re headed to a college campus. An Ivy, to be specific. I’m sure
you’ve heard of those. We haven’t yet figured out which one Dazai has decided on, but we’ll find
out tomorrow.”

Chuuya could only stare, almost dazed. “Oh. . . right. That shitty mackerel, he’s eighteen
now. He’s going to college.” College. The idea of Dazai, attending college classes, on a college
campus, it seemed wrong. Yet somehow so right that it made Chuuya shiver.

Mori nodded in response. “And so are you.”

Gloved hands gripping the back of his long, orange hair, Chuuya squeezed his eyes shut for
a moment. Just a moment. When Chuuya looked back up, he wore a small smirk.

“Alright. I’ll go pick up that fucking dog.” That’s right. Because it didn’t matter whether or
not Dazai was coming right back into his position as Executive, he’d long-forfeited his position as
Chuuya’s ‘owner.’ Now, it was going to be the other way around.

Then something occurred to him. “Boss?” He asked hesitantly.

Mori grinned keenly. “Yes, Chuuya-kun?” It was as if he knew exactly what Chuuya was
going to say.

Chuuya decided to ask his question anyway.

“How do we know that Dazai’s going to want to come back?”

Against all odds, this inquiry only made Mori’s grin widen. He was practically beaming.
Yet, it was a malicious grin. A sure grin. “That’s where you come in, Chuuya-kun.”

A strange thing grasped at Chuuya’s non-existent heart, then. So you mean, if it’s me. . . ?
No, I don’t believe that for a second. Still. . .

But isn’t it worth a try? Arahabaki sounded strange. Strange than usual, at least. Like it
knew something Chuuya didn’t. Although, it always did.

Despite all of its cancerous taunts, Arahabaki may prove to be right yet. Chuuya couldn’t
stop the traitorous thought from coming to the forefront of his mind. Again, his expression became
pained.

“You really. . . you really think so?”

Wrong. That had been the wrong response. To a man like Mori, it was bait. And he was all
too happy to sink in his hook.

“Yes, Chuuya-kun.” Mori’s voice was almost gentle. “I really think so.”

And with just those words, Chuuya was pierced, just like a weak fish on the line. “Thank
you for. . . clearing that up.” His true feelings were stuck in his throat. His aching, tired throat. His
aching, tired mind.

Chuuya stood, awaiting his dismissal. When Mori finally waved his hand, Chuuya
managed one last feeble smirk. Stay in character.

“I’ll start packing right away, Boss.”

And what the hell is an Ivy anyway?

Meanwhile, somewhere in New Jersey. . .

Dazai Osamu was fully prepared for his first day at Princeton University. He’d purchased all
the necessary merchandise and taken care of all the necessary expenses, using the money courtesy
of the Special Division for Unusual Powers, of course.

With his tiger-print duffle bag slung over one shoulder, and a large roll of bandages which
couldn’t have possibly fit in his luggage under the other, Dazai was ready to enter his dorms.

Suddenly, a large, whizzing sound came shooting past him. As Dazai turned to examine the
source, something hit him directly in the face, at an alarmingly high speed. Or rather, someone.

Kotoko Without any warning, Dazai could only tumble to the ground. For the first time in a
very long time, he was caught off guard. His expression became that of a disgruntled tomcat as he
stood and brushed off his new coat, a brilliant, tan garment. So this was America.

Thankfully, the incident would not be labeled as a hit-and-run. The perpetrator, who’d
stopped running just a few moments after they’d collided with Dazai, took a few steps back to
where he had been at the time of the crash and bent down to help Dazai up, before realizing that he
had already fully recovered and was staring down at their back.
 When the mysterious person had straightened out again and Dazai was able to get a better
look at them, his eyes widened, expression purposefully comical. It was a young girl with short,
black hair that was platted on her forehead. She was cute, by conventional standards. Perfect.

“What a beautiful young lady!” He exclaimed, taking her dainty hand in his own and
caressing her tiny wrist with his lithe fingers. She had particularly small features, though her ruby-
colored eyes were large and especially pretty. Dazai nearly laughed as he realized how callously
surgical his analysis of this girl is appearance sounded. You can take the man out of the darkness,
but not the darkness out of the man.

Dazai beamed at the girl, boasting a wide smile which came easy to him for some reason,
like he used to sport it a lot. But who would he smile this warmly too in the Mafia? Certainly not
Mori. “ I forgive you, of course I forgive you for running into me! Do not dare to try and
apologize!” He declared gallantly.

The girl, who looked to be no more than twenty and appeared to be some from of Asian
decent, had raised an eyebrow at his strange, sudden compliment. “No,” she responded coldly, “it
is not right to simply leave this be. Please, allow me to repay you.” It turned out that Dazai had
been completely correct. Her Japanese accent was clear, while his own was slightly less
pronounced due to his capacity for picking up languages.

Taking in the girl’s words, Dazai smirked. It worked. He’d practiced his ‘clowning’ act
during the few long and boring days right after his departure from the Mafia, and it was now
working like a charm. Although her cheeks had not yet flushed, he was sure his acting skill would
help him succeed in stealing this girl’s heart! Though why, he still did not know. Maybe because
he was hiding. In hiding, I mean.

To sweeten the act, Dazai let out a loud, showy sigh. “Ah, but I’m afraid you cannot offer
me anything of value. Unless you’re looking for a partner to die with?” He asked hopefully. This
was another one of his planned bits. Well, not as much planned as ‘hoped.’ Lately, his goal had
been to find a beautiful woman like this girl who could join him in fulfilling his ultimate dream.

Because it would be too lonely without a companion, and I don’t want to be lonely
anymore. The thought rose unbidden, and Dazai immediately shook it away, sticking with his
tender smile.

The girl’s small, polite smile turned awry, but more in an amused way than anything else.
Now that her face was evened out a bit, Dazai could tell that she wasn’t the type of person who let
herself get easily embarrassed. And he also got the strange feeling that she was used to this kind of
stuff.

The girl responded in a soft tone, looking a bit more composed. “My apologies, but I’m not
in the market for death right now. Or men.”
 Dazai felt his face stiffen as he let out an awkward chuckle. Shit, I was reading her all
wrong. Of course the first person he tried his new facade on wasn’t even into guys. And he’d been
so sure too. Maybe he was getting out of practice. Or maybe what he’d mistaken for bashfulness
was really the kind, apologetic heart of someone who felt the need to make up for their wrongs.
Maybe he was simply too used to being around others who were. . . lacking in good intentions.

“It’s me who should be apologizing for my presumptuousness.” Dazai bowed his head, for
some reason feeling genuinely sorry at his thoughtless mistake.

The girl, to his surprise, giggled underneath her breath. “It’s alright, . . .?” She waited
patiently for him to say his name.

“Dazai. Dazai Osamu.” He responded a bit too proudly, glad to be able to say his name in
proper romaji again, for the first time since he had gotten to America.

The girl, or as Dazai could now see clearly, the young woman, held out a hand for him to
shake. Her grip was firm, and her palm was freezing cold. “My name is Kotoko.”

No first name huh? Even Dazai had been willing to share. And here I’d thought you were the
naive yet well-meaning type. Dazai voiced his thoughts respectfully, but Kotoko simply continued
to smile.

“We all have pasts we wish to part from, correct? Let’s just say I want a fresh start. That’s
why I moved here, after all.” Kotoko’s voice was as gentle now as it had been the entire
conversation, but her abrasive gaze sent a different message.

Dazai’s eyes widened. I understood your words on a far deeper level than you think. I’ll let
this go. For now. He resolved to scour the student directory, and the dark web, if he it came to that,
in order to find out more about this girl. She was actually. . . interesting.

Dazai grinned to himself. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so boring after all. As Kotoko raised
an eyebrow upon spotting his manic expression, he looked her over once more.

What he noticed made his stomach twist. But not with horror, which would’ve been his
reaction, if Dazai wasn’t such an unusual person. But with pure interest and excitement.

Kotoko was missing a limb. Two, to be precise. Her legs. The prosthetics were easy to miss,
but the metal made slight creaking sounds alongside her movements, noticeable to Dazai’s well-
trained ear.

So that’s why she ran into me. The surgery must’ve been recent.
 Kotoko began looking slightly creeped out as Dazai’s smile grew more pronounced, so he
decided it was time to end the conversation. Turning away, he shot one last glance over his
shoulder at the young woman.

“See you later!” It was a promise. A foolish promise, really, since the two of them had no
idea if they were on any of the same classes, and they hadn’t even exchanged numbers, and Kotoko
didn’t know whether Dazai even attended the school. . .

But Dazai was going to find out about her, and they would speak again. That was the
promise.

You should be flattered that I’ve taken such an interest in you, Dazai thought as he chuckled
to himself. Just then, he remembered something.

That bag Kotoko had been carrying around. Small enough to go unnoticed and a dark color at
that, but there was something about the small string of numbers engraved in gold upon the bag’s
tiny handle. 010.

“I wonder what it means.” Dazai muttered to himself, “I’m going to find out about that and
more. How interesting.”

Joining the side of the light doesn’t mean that I can’t indulge in the twilight once in a while,
after all. If I only had light, I’d have burned up already. Or burned out. The thought made Dazai’s
lip curl.

One special thought, however, never crossed Dazai’s mind throughout his entire encounter
and continued to elude him. One thought that used to constantly inhabit his mind, one special
thought which had worked its way into the deepest, darkest nooks of Dazai’s fucked up brain.

One special thought that had been hidden away, quite recently actually.

One special person. Whom Dazai was determined to never think about again.

To never let himself think about. About him.

And Dazai Osamu got what he wanted.

Usually.

Chapter End Notes

y’all Dazai and Chuuya’s similarities this chapter ARE purposeful. and yes kotoko and
dazai WILL have tension I can’t stop it atp bc I can’t stop Seeing it, but rest assured
that they are a lesbian woman and a gay man and it is NOT real, as I said in the
beginning notes, my writing is a little delulu and alludes to things that I promise
(reluctantly) are not there.

please leave feedback !! I appreciate it more than you all know :))
 Chuuya Nakahara Encounters a Certain Sexy McDonalds Worker in The
Wild
Chapter Notes

sorry this one’s a bit short- (never thought i would update this quick)

nevertheless, please enjoy!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Somewhere in New Jersey. . .

“If I don’t have the most scrumptious fucking McFlurry in my hand in the next two minutes,
I am going to kill somebody.”

. . . is what Chuuya wanted to tell the worker behind the counter as he stepped forward in
line. But the words never made it to his lips.
Instead, his jaw dropped open. This man is hot. Really hot, Arahabaki instantly agreed
with Chuuya for once.

He seemed to be a few years older and a few inches taller than Chuuya. His long, silvery hair
came down past his shoulders and was naturally straighter than Chuuya had ever been able to style
his own, his tips fading into a warm, milky shade of blond. He had large, dark bags underneath his
dull gray eyes, which Chuuya would later find out were caused from both lack of sleep and
frequent stress.

And he had piercings! Two sets of small, sterling grey studs, looking raw and shiny as two
pale, delicate fingers reached up to fidget with the backs of the earrings.

I’m in love.

Chuuya was in love. But there was also three people waiting in line behind him. These two
facts were not able to coexist for long.

“Er, can I please have a McFlurry with a side of small fries?” Chuuya’s voice cracked audibly
somewhere along the line, and he winced.

But apparently, the gorgeous man in front of him hadn’t even noticed, as the corners of his
mouth twitched upwards to form a half-smile. Not one of sickening amusement, but rather one of
indulgence and a simple hearted pleasure.

“Let me get this right. You said you wanted a. . . “ But Chuuya wasn’t listening. That
voice. Oh, that voice. Like bells, small, jingling bells which rung with an alarming force. How
could one’s voice be so breathy and yet so deep at the exact same time? And he was Japanese too,
Chuuya could tell from the accent. What a sexy accent, oh Lord.
 It brought back memories. No, shit, not those memories!

But there was something weird. Something off. It was like this man was looking at Chuuya,
but not really looking. Those dim yet beautiful grey eyes had become misty, awry, strange.

There was barely any warning before Chuuya’s mystery man crumpled to the ground, mid
sentence.

For a moment, Chuuya just stared. Fixated on the way the young man’s throat practically
vibrated as his chest moved up and down. The small, delicate chasm between his Adam’s apple
and his neck. The fragility found in his every twitching movement. He smelled like smoke, but not
in the annoying way. In the intoxicating way.

Then Chuuya remembered where he was. A McDonalds. And a worker had just passed out
in front of him. Right.

“Someone just fainted!” Chuuya shouted, not caring how many ‘Happy’ Meals he ruined as
his shrill tone carried throughout the restaurant. “Help! This guy needs help!”

Meanwhile, Chuuya got on both of his knees and began to hoist the man into his arms. He
weighed a lot more than he looked, most of it probably due to the abnormal amount of stomach
muscle Chuuya was able to feel through his loose uniform.
“Hey, wake up! Wake up!” Chuuya had half a mind to slap the guy, but he didn’t want to
leave that bad of a first impression. So instead, he just screamed in his face. Right, yeah. That
would do the trick.

Eventually, the manager of the McDonalds barged through the employee only doors, caught
wind of what had happened, and sighed. Just sighed in a monotonous, exasperated tone that
signaled just how fed-up she was with the situation. She motioned for everyone to get back to their
jobs as she headed over.

“Again, Mikoto?” The tall McDonalds manager grumbled under her breath as she gently
lifted the man, no, Mikoto, from Chuuya’s arms. “And in front of a customer this time? Really?”

Chuuya wanted to protest, but he could recognize how inappropriate that would be
considering the situation, so he just pouted.

“Is he going to be okay?” Chuuya asked the manager after she’d managed to ignore his
presence for a good two minutes, busy trying to awaken Mikoto.

The manager sighed again. “Yeah, he does this a lot. We just hired him, and apparently that
one little detail ‘slipped his mind’ on his resume? He’s a good kid, though, so I hope he gets a
better handle on these spells, for lack of better word.”

“I don’t understand.” It pained Chuuya to admit, reminding him of his least favorite times
in the Mafia. “What little detail? Is this a sickness? A condition?”

The manager grimaced in a somewhat empathetic way. “Yeah, more along the lines of a
condition. Narcolepsy. Apparently it’s a recent development, so you can’t really blame him for not
having a better ‘handle’ on the whole thing.”

Chuuya wished that, for once, people would stop just saying things and maybe, just maybe
take the time to explain what they meant. But he didn’t say that.

Instead, he offered a reluctant smile. “He seems like a very nice guy.” A very sexy, diligent,
handsome, hot, wonderful guy. He didn’t say all that either.

The manager nodded, looking slightly pained at having to admit it. “Yeah, he is. And he’s a
good worker. Before he came here, he was at another McDonalds in Japan, and his manager gave
him a quite stunning review. He remembered to include that one on his resume, at least.” She
griped. “But yeah, you can’t control these conditions, so it’s not really his fault.” She shrugged.

Chuuya’s eyes widened. Can’t control it, huh? We’re the same, then.

Chuuya couldn’t help but chuckle. “So his name’s Mikoto?”

Thankfully, the manager didn’t seem to find the question too nosy. “Yeah, Mikoto Kayano.
He’s twenty-four. And this is just my theory, but I’m pretty sure he got overworked to the point of
considering that other job a complete hell, and that’s why he moved here. But that’s just a theory.”

So she was the gossipy type. And Mikoto was the type to take on more than he could
handle. Out of the goodness of his heart, or was it the need for cash? Both were admirable in
Chuuya’s book. But he wanted to find out which one.

“Hey,” Chuuya gestured towards Mikoto’s limp body, still in the manager’s arms, “I know
we literally just met, and you just met me, and I’m pretty young, and I don’t know if you’d
necessarily trust me with so er ig like this but. . . I could take him off your hands. Drive him home,
I mean. Since it doesn’t look like he’ll be fit to return to work anytime soon.”

In fact, Mikoto was sound asleep and definitely wouldn’t wake up for another few hours. So
Chuuya figured he might as well shoot his shot and hope Mikoto was awake enough by the time
they got to his home or apartment to find a hidden key or something.

Surprisingly, the manager let out a quiet giggle at his request. “Wow. Mikoto’s really
charmed you, huh? Go right ahead.”

Chuuya wanted to protest, but it wasn’t like she was wrong. And besides, Mikoto reminded
him of someone. Someone very dear to him. Ugh, Chuuya hated whenever he had to admit that, but
it was true.

With a small, grateful smile, Chuuya reached out to grasp Mikoto’s prone form once again.
“Thank you.” And he meant it.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in New Jersey. . .

“Wow. What a small world.” Dazai noted as he seated himself across the couch from his lab
partner making himself comfortable in her lavish home.

His lab partner, who happened to be the girlfriend of a certain someone whom Dazai had
run into only days before. Kotoko Yuzuriha. How very interesting, is what Dazai has initially
thought.

He hadn’t been proven wrong yet.

I know, right? Mahiru Shiina managed a small, albeit reluctant smile. At first glance, she had
simply seemed shy, but Dazai could tell there was more to the story. Especially regarding her
method of communication. Signing.

Which was the main reason Dazai had been assigned as her partner. He could still recall
perfectly the moment when her entire face had lit up upon hearing that not only was Dazai fluent in
ASL, he could also understand JSL fluently.

The strange thing about this was that Mahiru had only been mute for a year. She was as
selective mute. Which wouldn’t have been that weird, as Dazai was already well acquainted with a
certain Akutagawa sibling, but it was the fact that she’d refused to undergo any kind of speech
therapy and even the use of a speech board, or a device to help her communicate better. It was
almost as if, while her muteness had been caused by trauma, it was a punishment, enforced by her
own will.

Perhaps it was less what she had seen, and more what she had done.

The thought of discovering more about this girl’s strange condition made Dazai giggle with
excitement. When Mahiru looked at him strangely, he simply waved her off and suggested they
get back to work. Or at least, she get back to work.

Dazai made busy pretending to work while he was in actuality examining Mahiru’s house
and the girl herself.

What really interested Dazai were the two portraits on the far left wall of Mahiru’s living
room. They both depicted teens whose eyes were hollow. The one on the left held the image of a
beautiful, self-confident starlet, while the one on the left depicted a smaller youth with a downcast
expression and a sullen demeanor.

After asking after the paintings, Dazai had discovered that this home the two were meeting
in had once belonged to the girl on the left, and had been given as a ‘final gift’ to Mahiru. Under
what circumstances, Dazai had no idea. But judging by the look on Mahiru’s face when she’d
signed that information, they must’ve been quite grim. And possibly just the right amount of
traumatizing to render a bright young woman mute.

Mahiru herself wasn’t that interesting at first glance. She had a full figure, but her eyes
were startlingly opaque and frankly, off putting. But on the other hand, Dazai could tell that when
she smiled, it lit up her entire face. I kind of want to see that, he mused, then quickly extinguished
the thought.

These girls were his momentary playthings. Nothing more. He couldn’t let it get past that.
Not again.

Reluctantly turning back to his work, Dazai made the mistake of letting his thoughts go
again. Wander.

And of course, they came to focus on a certain ginger, on the bright face which Dazai
hadn’t seen grin in so long.

Dazai couldn’t help but sigh to himself, wondering what his dog was up to. Wondering
when his dog was going to come find him. Wondering when his dog was going to realize that his
true home was not in the Mafia, but with his owner. No matter where his owner wanted to go.

His dog would follow.

When Dazai had felt that tracker ping against his ankle the day before, he’d beamed. Because
 it meant that his dog was finally finding his way back. His way back home.

Just like Dazai had expected.

Chapter End Notes

haha! Bet you weren’t expecting those pairings, were ya?! yes, that open relationship
tag refers to Mikoto and Fuuta, so no need to worry, no homewrecking arc for chuuya!

and did I get mahiru and muu mixed up for the whole entire planning of this fic? Yes.
Did I fix it? er, no. Kinda? You can’t really tell.

btw, I hate how it seems that no matter what new evidence is introduced, the
guiltiness/innocence of the characters won’t change, bc it’s only the second trial yall,
so some of these characters who you assumed would be guilty are going to be
innocent, and vice versa. but obviously mikoto my boy. . . you don’t count. lmao

and to clear things up, yes, mahiru stopped speaking on her own, she was found
innocent by es. muu and haruka. . . I won’t get into that yet. But let’s just say, by the
end of the third trial, the prisoners feelings towards each other shifted. A lot. So muu
and haruka’s situation is WAY different than you’re probably thinking.

thanks for reading, as always please leave feedback for me in the comments! I love
constructive criticism!

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