The Color of Your Eyes, is the Color of the World

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/37894684.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: M/M
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou
Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Additional Tags: Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya Are Soulmates (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Soft Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai
Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai-Typical
Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Port Mafia Dazai Osamu
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Member Dazai Osamu
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Teenage Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou
Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya Angst (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya Fluff (Bungou Stray Dogs), Top
Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Bottom Nakahara Chuuya
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Top Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Bottom
Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - Canon
Divergence, Fifteen Light Novel Spoilers (Bungou Stray Dogs),
Stormbringer Light Novel Spoilers (Bungou Stray Dogs), Eventual Smut,
Bungou Stray Dogs Manga Spoilers, Angst and Fluff and Smut,
Hurt/Comfort, Port Mafia (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective
Agency (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is Bad at Feelings
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya Smut (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sad
and Happy, No beta we die like Oda, Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya in
Love (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sad Ending
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-03-27 Completed: 2022-05-27 Words: 22,171 Chapters:
2/2
 The Color of Your Eyes, is the Color of the World
by justherefortheride09

Summary

"He looks up at the boy stepping on him, their eyes lock, a blue-gray color in them. Blue... he
can't see blue. Yet, the always gray sky behind the boy was gaining color, but Dazai's focus
was only on the blue-gray eyes glaring down at him. He ignored the change and answered
normally to the boy. He knew what had happened, he had met his soulmate. But, he also
knew that the boy stepping on him wasn't experiencing what he was.

It made him intrigued, curious of his apparent soulmate, to say the least. The boy had short
orange hair, a green leather jacket, and his hands were in his pockets, Dazai quickly realized
who the boy was, the King of the Sheep, Nakahara Chuuya."

---------

or the color soulmates fic nobody asked for.

Credit/Inspo by this tumblr post

 Original
Chapter Notes

Credit/Inspo by this tumblr post

Small shoutout to my friend who sat to read the smut parts of this fic in hopes to help
my insecure a$$ with these scenes. Love you. <3

Useless fun fact: The Pètrus 1889 bottle Chuuya drank when Dazai left is 811,198.52
Japanese Yen. That is ALMOST 7k in US dollars, according to Google. Damn.

EDIT: This story will undergo through a re-write at some point, to anyone who is
new or to anyone that's come back to re-read, once the re-write begins the story
will be hidden until it's completed. For now, enjoy as is.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Soulmates. They say to find your soulmate is like searching for the color you have never
seen.

Blue. The color Dazai could never see in his life was blue. From a young age, Dazai Osamu
had been aware that he could not see the color of the sky the way everyone else seemed to.
Nothing had been wrong with his sight, doctors had told him he should've been able to see all
colors, medically nothing had been wrong with him. No, it was the soulmate phenomenon. A
phenomenon he'd learned soon thereafter his first doctor visit.

And he knew that to get the color blue, he'd have to find his soulmate. The one that'll have
blue eyes. But Dazai didn't care enough to know who that person could be.

The condition in finding one's soulmate is to look at both their eyes, assuming they had both,
Dazai, though, had covered one of his eyes from a very young age. Reasons varied but one of
them had been not wanting to deal with the implications of a soulmate, rather he believed it
or not.

By the age of 14, he had been preparing to take his own life, only to be saved. The man who
saved him was Mori Ougai, an underground doctor. Said man plotted with him, making
Dazai an accomplish and witness to the Port Mafia's boss's murder.

And after a year, of tried but failed suicide attempts, he had to wonder why he was still alive.
Yet, he knew who had prevented him from all of his tries. Mori, at the moment, had assigned
him a mission with the promise of sweet death.

In search of the rumors surrounding the diseased Port Mafia's previous boss, he's suddenly
kicked on the back. The person who kicked him made them go flying across the place. Dazai
faintly hears Hirotsu yell his name after him.

He looks up at the boy stepping on him, their eyes lock, a blue-gray color in them. Blue... he
can't see blue. Yet, the always gray sky behind the boy was gaining color, but Dazai's focus
was only on the blue-gray eyes glaring down at him. He ignored the change and answered
normally to the boy. He knew what had happened, he had met his soulmate. But, he also
knew that the boy stepping on him wasn't experiencing what he was.

It made him intrigued, curious of his apparent soulmate, to say the least. The boy had short
orange hair, a green leather jacket, and his hands were in his pockets, Dazai quickly realized
who the boy was, the King of the Sheep, Nakahara Chuuya.

For Chuuya, that day was a casual, beating Port Mafia members, day. He hadn't noticed a
change, no color had entered his vision. Something was different, but he couldn't understand
what. They met, and whatever intriguing and infuriating he had that made Chuuya curious,
was just that. Little did he know the change he would go through.

Not too long after, they got blown away by an unknown force, rending them unconscious.
Chuuya, the next day, found himself in the Port Mafia's building, in front of the current boss.

Dazai, before being called by Mori, had gone up on the roof to look at the sky above him.
The blue looking foreign in his vision, he wasn't sure he liked it. He left the roof and went to
Mori's office, only to see the boy from yesterday.

A long discussion later, Mori had decided to pair them up. Dazai had not been expecting it
and couldn't understand why that was. Both boys were annoyed, each for different reasons.

They silently walked next to each other before Chuuya asked where they were going, "I got
it, I'll answer. If I answer, though, will you stay away from me? I can't think when I'm
walking with you." said Dazai with an annoyed huff.

"Don't worry. I also can't think when I'm around you." Chuuya rolled his eyes.

"Fufu, we're compatible. It must be because I love you!" Dazai smirked.

"Ugh, stop it! That's so sick I could die!" Chuuya said repulsed.

"...Yeah, I think I'd also feel sick and die." Dazai whispered, a look of regret in his eye. He
didn't look at Chuuya as the conversation continued, their attention quickly shifting to the
burning building in front of them.

After they took down some GSS troops, they talked to Rando, who told them the story he
knew about Arahabaki. Dazai had figured out the lie, figured out the culprit, the one behind
the rumors. Chuuya had too. And so, after some events and a fight had transpired, all of it
ended with Rando or Rimbaud Arthur dying. The boys separated and Dazai joined the Port
Mafia. They reunited a month later, with Chuuya soon thereafter also joining the Mafia.

For a year, they developed a rivalry, one fuelled by Mori. Dazai had known about the
gaslighting but simply didn't care enough and gave into it. If it could create an excuse to
interact and annoy Chuuya more? He'll take it. Was that good or healthy? No, but Dazai
didn't know any better.

But with Chuuya's life turning upside-down once again, Dazai stayed in the shadows,
planning, trying to make the situation better. Successfully, everything goes to plan. Until it
doesn't and Chuuya is faced with a choice. The truth he longs for or saving Yokohama. Dazai
gave him the choice, no malice, and no trickery, he was serious and Chuuya knew that. He
knew that Dazai was serious in that moment, that he wasn't trying to mock him, that he would
respect, even think of a different way to deal with their situation, if he chose himself but it
was something neither of them would ever dare to admit.

And yes, Dazai had been ready, ready for Chuuya to choose himself, and yet that's not what
happened. Chuuya chose Yokohama. Dazai smiled and watched it all go down, fascinated by
the sight before him, but he knew that Chuuya wouldn't last for long.

Chuuya's fight was over, Dazai caught him and Chuuya's red markings went away. The boy
had passed out. "Good work, Chuuya." Dazai looked down at him and laughed a bit, "You're
lucky I forgot to bring my fountain pen or else you'd have doodles all over your face."

He waited until Port Mafia members came to get them. After Chuuya had awoken and had
been treated for his injuries in the battle, he was informed of Verlaine's situation and was sent
home.

But instead of going home, Chuuya had decided to go to the Port Mafia's building roof,
wanting to see Yokohama. What he had not expected to see was Dazai. Dazai's back was
turned to him, he thought of leaving, not wanting to be near him but decided against it and
walked next to him, his focus on Yokohama.

"Ah, Chuuya, you're awake." Dazai said nonchalantly, never turning to look at him.

Chuuya glanced at him, letting out a sigh, "Yeah."

Dazai hummed, closing his eye. They remained silent for a minute before Chuuya spoke
again, "It's gone, isn't it?" he asked.

Dazai opened his eye, he turned to look at Chuuya, "Yeah. There's no way of knowing
anymore." he said, no emotions on his face.

Chuuya sighed, "Figured as much."

Dazai turned his attention back to Yokohama, "If the choice was given to you again, would
you have chosen differently?"

"No." Chuuya replied.

Dazai let out a soft chuckle, he turned around and began leaving the roof and Chuuya alone.
Once Chuuya heard the door close, he let out another sigh and looked up at the sky. He took
in a deep breath and soon left the roof as well.
A few days later, the Dragon Head incident happened, a war that lasted for 88 days in the
underworld. The last night of said war was the one Dazai and Chuuya became official
partners. The night they were labeled as Double Black. The night Chuuya used Corruption
again. The fight that had lasted for 88 days was over within a matter of minutes. And the
moment it was over, Dazai nullified it. Chuuya had collapsed from corruption, he fainted,
landing on Dazai's lap. Dazai caressed his hair, studying his features until they were found.
He removed his hand from Chuuya, placing his head on the floor and getting up before
anyone saw him, once the troops entered the room, he walked out of the destroyed building,
pretending he had not left an unconscious Chuuya in the middle of the room, pretending he
didn't care for the boy. Chuuya wouldn't remember either way.

They were put on more missions together after that, the destruction and profit they gained
made them the perfect pair. And as much as Chuuya was annoyed by him, he knew he could
trust him, and against his better judgment, he cared, in a weird way, a twisted one maybe. It
confused him a lot.

Their success as partners had gained Chuuya a new house, and at the moment, Dazai had
convinced the boy to head to the roof. They laid down and stared at the stars. Nothing had
been said between them for a long time until, "Dazai."

The boy didn't respond, Chuuya sighed and continued, "What does brown look like?"

Dazai turned suddenly to stare at him, "What a bizarre question, Slug." he chuckled.

Chuuya groaned, "Ugh, forget it."

"No, no. Why the sudden question, Chibi?" Dazai asked, amusement in his voice.

Chuuya turned his attention to him, cringing at his amused face, "Fuck you, you just want to
make fun of me."

Dazai gasped, "When have I ever?"

Chuuya glared at him and Dazai laughed. He did not speak and simply glared at Dazai who
quickly got serious again, "Can't you see brown, Chuuya?"

Chuuya sighed and looked up at the night sky again, "No."

"Do you know the reason?" Dazai asked, fully aware of what he had asked.

"Maybe it's another thing that's not human about me." Chuuya's expression turned sour at the
thought.

"Chuuya..." Dazai said making Chuuya turn to look at him, "Do you know what soulmates
are?"

Chuuya looked at him confused, "I mean, I have heard about them but what does that have to
do with anything?"
"Have you heard how the color of your soulmate's eyes hold the color you have never been
able to see? Meaning, you can't see that specific color until you have found your soulmate
and looked at both their eyes." Dazai's tone was serious.

"And what? Does my soulmate have brown eyes or something? Do you seriously believe in
that Dazai?" Chuuya rolled his eyes.

"It's hard not to believe in it when there's been proof all over the world for it." Dazai replied,
while in reality, whether he had believed in it or not, he had no choice but to believe in it now
as he locks eyes with Chuuya's blue-gray ones.

"I don't even have a soul." Chuuya said. "They simply did a mistake and I can't see brown,"
he paused, "But... if soulmates are a thing, is there a color you can't see Dazai?"

Dazai laughed, "Oh, so now you believe?"

"Oh forget it you bastard, there's no point in having a conversation with you." Chuuya
groaned and sat up, readying himself to leave.

"Blue. I can't see the color blue." Dazai looked at the night sky.

Chuuya looked back at him, "Really?" he whispered, more to himself than to Dazai.

Dazai closed his eye, "You can't see the color of my eye and hair, I can't see the color of your
eyes. Poetic." he said with a smile.

"Only you would find that poetic asshole." Chuuya rolled his eyes.

Dazai sat up, opening his eye, he stared at Chuuya, their eyes once again locking, his
expression was serious, "So, tell me Chuuya, what does blue look like?"

Chuuya's eyes widen, "Eh..."

Dazai laughed, "If you tell me, I'll tell you about brown."

"Okay..." Chuuya thought for a moment, "Blue has many shades, which one don't you see?"
he asked.

"The ones your eyes are." Dazai answered with no hesitation.

"Mine are more of a gray color... can't you see gray?"

Dazai sighed, "I can but you asked shade. Blue, I can't see blue. No matter the shade."

"Okay..." Chuuya said thoughtfully, "Blue is a bright color."

Dazai scoffed, "Ugh, I won't explain anything to you if you act like that." Chuuya said
irritated.
Dazai made a motion with his hand for Chuuya to continue, "Um, it's associated with sadness
so I guess it's a sad color..."

Chuuya paused to think, Dazai rolled his eye, "It also represents trustworthiness." he said
suddenly making Chuuya snap out of his thoughts and look up at him. "It's a calming, sad
color, one that is associated with the sky and sea." he continued, staring at the blue-gray eyes
in front of him that were focused on his every word.

"And what about brown?" Chuuya whispered his question, somehow mesmerized without
understanding why that was.

"Security and safety. A sad and lonely color, it's associated with the earth." they had gotten
closer, "Blue feels safe with brown." he paused, an intensity in his eye, "Brown trusts blue."

"They're both miserable colors." Chuuya murmured, his eyes having traveled down on
Dazai's lips and back up his eye.

"A perfect match." Dazai's expression softened a small smile at the corner of his lips.

"Perfect?" Chuuya asked, a little bit confused.

"They are perfectly broken together." Dazai whispered, they were a breath away from each
other. "Chuuya..." his expression was unreadable, "You are human."

Chuuya's eyes widen, he quickly backed away from Dazai, "Whatever Dazai." he looked
away from him, the moment had been ruined.

Dazai didn't move nor speak, he simply paid attention to Chuuya's every movement, from
getting up, briefly looking back at him, and then leaving him on the roof. He soon thereafter
got up as well and left the roof for that night.

Nothing, in particular, had changed between them, Dazai would continue to annoy him,
Chuuya would continue to react to it. What had changed were Chuuya's overwhelming
thoughts of that night, Dazai's words, their closeness, and if he'd let the moment happen, they
would have kissed, Chuuya had been aware of that and he was not sure how to feel about it.

Did he want it? No. Of course not, he hates Dazai with every fiber in his body. He's a suicidal
maniac with bandages that annoys the living shit out of him... He's also the same bastard that
makes him feel more human even though he's not one.

"Chuuya." his name was faintly heard in the distance, or so Chuuya felt like it, "Chuuya!"
this time, the distant voice was closer, louder, it made him snap back to reality, "What is it
you're thinking about, kid?" asked Kouyou who was looking curiously at Chuuya.

Chuuya shook his head, "It's nothing Ane-san, what were you saying?"

"Do please pay attention." Kouyou sighed.

In another room, Mori was having something similar with Dazai, "Dazai-kun, are you
listening to me?"
Dazai was spinning in his chair, "Yes."

Mori sighed, "As my right-hand man, I do need you to pay attention, this is important."

Dazai halted his spinning, "Ugh! Mori-san, I already know the situation, just leave me be." he
groaned, tilting his head back.

Mori stared at Dazai in bewilderment, "Has something happened with Chuuya-kun?"

"No." Dazai lifted his head to stare at Mori, a serious look in his eye, hinting at him he's in no
way willing to get into this conversation.

"I see." Mori said before leaving Dazai in his office, with a smile on his face.

The more Chuuya thought about it, the more hyperaware he had become to Dazai's voice, to
his touches, and their random closeness, which had been happening more often than before.
His eyes would always randomly land on Dazai's lips and unfortunately for him, Dazai had
noticed.

After they were done with a mission and they had reported back to Mori, both boys were
excused for the day. Chuuya was walking angrily away from Dazai.

Dazai chuckled, "Why are you running, Chibi?"

He turned his head to glare at him, and quickly turned it back around continuing at his quick
pace to walk away from him, "I just really want to go home."

Dazai hummed, "I'm coming too."

Chuuya halted, he fully turned around only to come to face first with Dazai, who he had
thought he had created a bigger distance with, "No."

"Why not? Is something wrong, Chuuya?" Dazai smirked.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Because I don't want you in my house, asshole!"

Dazai placed his hand under Chuuya's chin and lifted it upwards, "What, are you afraid of
something happening?" a dark glimmer in his eye.

Chuuya scoffed and pulled his face away from his hold, "Nothing would happen."

"Then you have no reason as to why I can't come over." Dazai said in a calm voice.

"Yes, I do. I hate you and I don't want you in my house." Chuuya said.

But Dazai had been already walking in front of him, ignoring what Chuuya had just said, he
spoke again, "Come on, Chuuya. Let's go."

Chuuya let out a sigh. He wasn't sure what he had just gotten into.
Rock, paper, scissors. That's what he had gotten into. They had been playing rock, paper,
scissors for about an hour.

"And I win again." said Dazai.

"Ugh!" Chuuya exclaimed angrily, "There's just no way, one more time!"

"Chuuya, you have been saying 'one more time' for the past 30 minutes." Dazai snickered.

"Just one more time. This will be the last, I just know I can win!" he was determined.

"I have a better idea." Dazai smirked.

"And what is that?" Chuuya stared at him suspiciously.

"Let's make a bet, whoever gets 3 points first, can do something to the other or tell them to do
something." he said, the smug look on his face never disappearing.

Chuuya smirked, "You're on."

The first round went to Dazai, Chuuya groaned. The second round went to Chuuya, the boy
sat up and exclaimed excitedly, "Finally!"

"It's a 3 points game Chuuya, we're not done." Dazai sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Chuuya sat back down.

The third round went to Chuuya again, "Seems like I'm going to win, you stupid Mackerel."

"Don't be so rash, Chuuya." Dazai was calm, too calm for Chuuya's liking.

He rolled his eyes. The fourth round went to Dazai, Chuuya had no particular reaction to it
since he was sure he'll win.

The fifth and sixth rounds were a tie, that had made Chuuya nervous. In the seventh and final
round, Dazai won. Chuuya stared at their hands in disbelief, he glared up at Dazai who had
an amused smile, it irritated Chuuya.

"You were messing with me." he said.

"You had been losing for an hour, and suddenly you won two rounds in a row..." Dazai
smiled wickedly.

Chuuya groaned, "Bastard."

"Well, we did make a bet." he sing-song.

Chuuya lowered his head into his hands out of frustration, "Just, say it."

"Kiss me."
Chuuya's eyes widen, he quickly lifted his head to look straight into Dazai's serious
expression, "What?"

Dazai got closer to him but not too close, "Kiss me." the seriousness in his tone had Chuuya's
head spin.

"What the fuck, you bastard?" he asked, his face a mixture of anger and confusion.

"You lost the bet, I can tell you to do whatever I want." Dazai smiled.

"And you want me to kiss you?" Chuuya asked perplexed.

The seriousness in Dazai's expression and an emotion Chuuya had no idea how to describe
returned, "Yes."

Chuuya looked down at Dazai's lips and back up again at his eye, he could only see a gray
one staring back at him with an intensity, his mind was running wild. Was he really about to
do this? He tried to get closer to him, their lips a breath away, but backed away quickly.

Dazai sighed and leaned back, "I should have known Chuuya couldn't do it."

That triggered him, Chuuya grabbed Dazai's collar and brought their lips together. Their teeth
clanked momentarily, both cringing but soon getting the hang of it. A messy dance between
the two had started, with Chuuya having had barely any experience with this kind of stuff,
never having felt the need to kiss someone, his mind mostly focused on other things that had
felt more important in his life, but Dazai had always managed to be a new experience, in
every way possible. He didn't know what he was doing, letting instinct take over.

Dazai smiled against his lips, he brought his hands up to cup Chuuya's face, deepening their
kiss. Chuuya briefly opened his eyes and closed them once again. They kissed for a moment
but Chuuya, soon, too soon for Dazai's liking, pulled away from him.

They stayed close to each other, Chuuya's eyes were closed and he let out a breath,
"Satisfied?" he opened his eyes and glared at Dazai.

Dazai who had been staring at him didn't reply, he simply pulled him close again, their lips
connecting once more. Chuuya's eyes widen, he attempted to pull away but Dazai held onto
him, making it a bit hard to but not impossible, and Chuuya knew that but maybe, he didn't
want to. He gave in and kissed him back.

They kissed slowly, softly even, something Chuuya had not expected. Dazai would sometimes
open his eye to see Chuuya's expression, who was frowning but was slowly relaxing against
him. Dazai had taken full control of the situation. He brought his tongue to Chuuya's bottom
lip, asking for permission to enter, which Chuuya hesitated with. He wasn’t about to force
Chuuya into anything, and maybe kissing him again wasn't the right choice. He was ready to
pull away, thinking he had pushed the situation too far, when, to his surprise, Chuuya slightly
opened his mouth.
His tongue entered Chuuya's mouth, a delicate, slow, desperate dance between the two, a
different one than before. There was a need behind it, a growing passion that confused
Chuuya's mind. Yet, he moved his hands away from Dazai's collar and wrapped them around
Dazai's neck, his fingers brushing at his bandages and the tips of his hair, but never traveling
up to them. Dazai slowly pulled away.

They were breathing heavily, Chuuya had right away started removing his hold on Dazai's
neck, Dazai let go of Chuuya's face. Chuuya was slowly moving away from him, he had
leaned back on the couch, looking down at nothing in particular while he was trying to catch
his breath.

Dazai stared at him, wanting to see Chuuya's reactions and feelings about what had just
transpired.

A minute of silence passed, "Never again." Chuuya said and got up from the couch, leaving
Dazai alone in the living room, he locked himself in his bedroom. Dazai sighed and tilted his
head back, he touched his lips and smiled to himself. He laid down on the couch and stared at
the ceiling, not being able to sleep.

Chuuya was doing the same, unable to sleep he simply stared at his bedroom ceiling, reliving
what had just happened again and again in his head. He kissed Dazai, not once but twice. He
doesn't know how much time had passed before he fell asleep to those thoughts.

A few days later, Dazai was at bar Lupin with Oda next to him. Ango had yet to show up. He
had been playing with the ice cube in his drink, "Is something wrong, Dazai?" Oda asked him
while taking a sip from his drink.

"What makes you think something is wrong Odasaku?" Dazai turned to look at him,
expressionless.

"Oh, nothing. You just seemed a bit more skeptical." Oda said.

Dazai hummed, he turned back his attention to his drink and continued to play with the ice
cube, the door of the bar was heard, soon Ango showed up, "Hey guys."

"Hey Ango." both Oda and Dazai said almost at the same time.

Ango sat next to Oda, "Did something happen today?" he asked.

"No, nothing in particular." Dazai replied.

Ango looked at Oda who simply shrugged at him. A drink was placed in front of Ango, the
group stayed in silence, the only sound being the ice against the glasses. Dazai let out a
frustrated sigh.

"What's wrong with him?" Ango asked.

"He's been like this since I got here." Oda replied.

Dazai sighed again, he turned to look at them, "Do you guys know about soulmates?"
Ango stared at Dazai in bewilderment, even Oda's expression was mildly surprised,
"Soulmates?" Ango asked.

"You know, the whole, look into their eyes and regain the color you have never seen?" Dazai
moved his hand a bit while explaining.

"I never had that problem." Ango shrugged.

"Odasaku?"

Oda shook his head back and forth slightly, "No, never had that problem either, but I have
heard of it."

"Yes, I have, too. It's a weird phenomenon a selected few go through." he paused, "It cannot
be explained. Some people are simply born without being able to see a specific color, and
once they look at their "soulmate's" eyes, they suddenly can." Ango rolled his eyes while he
spoke of the subject.

"Do you guys believe in it?" Dazai murmured.

"Not really, even with all these people saying so, medically they've never showed to have any
problems with their eyesight. They were supposed to be able to see all colors, but for some
unexplainable reason, they cannot, until one day, they can, and yet, medically, nothing has
changed to them, they're the same people as before." Ango said, pushing his glasses back.

Dazai hummed, his attention turning back on the ice cube in his glass, "I do." Oda spoke.
Dazai's attention was suddenly turned to him.

"I mean, I have never experienced it but I do believe it's a thing some people go through."
Oda shrugged.

"It makes no logical sense, Odasaku." Ango gaped at Oda's response.

"I don't think it's supposed to." Oda replied and took a sip from his drink, Ango looked at him
confused, he continued, "And honestly? I think the people who are experiencing it are lucky."

"Oh?" Ango raised a brow in confusion.

"They have someone who is their soulmate, they don't have to question if that person is the
"perfect match" because they are, they're their soul's other half. A mate, you could say." Oda
had a small smile.

"And why isn't everyone going through it? Why is it a selected few?" Ango asked.

Oda shrugged, "I don't know."

Ango sighed, "What are your thoughts on the topic, Dazai? Since you brought it up."

Dazai had a small smile on his lips, he chuckled a bit, "Well, I believe in it too."
"Really?" Ango was puzzled by his answer, "And why is that?"

Dazai went back to staring at his drink, he picked it up and took a small sip, and then said,
"Because I was one of those people."

"Was?" Oda asked while Ango's eyes had widened, having exclaimed at the same time, "You
were?"

Dazai only hummed with a smile, "Was."

"What was the experience like?" Ango slowly asked.

Dazai sighed and thought for a moment, "Well, I couldn't see blue since I was born, then I
met them and now, I can see blue." he shrugged.

"Just like that?" Ango furrowed.

Dazai laughed, "Yes, just like that."

"But, don't you have to have both eyes for it to work?" Oda asked.

"Yes!" Dazai exclaimed with excitement, "They don't know I'm their soulmate." he was still
smiling, a bitterness hidden behind it.

"Why wouldn't you want them to know?" Ango asked.

"Well, who would want me as their soulmate? I'm doing them a favor." Dazai said
nonchalantly, he then again started playing with the ice cube on his drink.

Both Ango and Oda glanced at each other briefly and then turned back to Dazai. The
conversation between them had ended there. They had decided to continue talking about
anything else for the rest of the night.

It had been a few days since they had last seen each other. Both were busy with their
missions that didn't require Double Black as a solution, so they hadn't run into each other
once. After Chuuya would return from his missions for the day, he would report and go
home. Same with Dazai but he would have nights where he would go to Lupin.

It had been two weeks since they got put on a mission together. They were coordinated, as
usual, the mission a success. They were headed to report to Mori at the moment.

"It's been awhile, huh, Chuuya?"

Chuuya tsked, Dazai just hummed something out of tune next to him happily.

"What do you want, Dazai?" Chuuya asked annoyed.

"Nothing you don't want as well." Dazai said calmly.

Chuuya rolled his eyes and let out a scoff, "I don't want anything."
Dazai smiled to himself. They gave Mori the report from their completed mission and left the
room, walking side to side Chuuya turned to the left, Dazai followed him.

"Stop following me, you bastard."

"Wanna go to the arcade?" Dazai asked.

"Huh?!" Chuuya turned around to look at him, "We were up all night and you want to go to
the arcade?"

Dazai had no expression, "It's been awhile since we went."

"Yes, because you keep cheating!"

"It's not my fault you're so bad at it Chuuya." Dazai smiled.

"Fuck you, you bastard!" Chuuya blew up, "You know what? Let's go." he said determinedly.

He turned around and stomped forward, Dazai smirked and followed him. They had been
playing for hours on end, Chuuya was getting delirious with sleep, having not been able to
sleep for the past 24 hours because of their mission, and now their visit to the arcade, he was
tired.

"And I won again, you're so bad at this Chuuya." Dazai looked smug.

"Ugh! Shut up Dazai. I'm tired, it's not a fair fight." Chuuya groaned.

"I'm tired too, it's 100% fair."

"You don't look like it." Chuuya murmured.

Dazai chuckled, "Okay, let's get you home." he went close to him and touched his bicep.

Chuuya flinched and pulled away, "Don't touch me, bastard."

Dazai looked at him confused, "What's wrong? I have touched you plenty of times before."

"Yes, before, when two weeks ago hadn't happened." Chuuya said, not realizing that his
delirious brain had said his thoughts out loud.

Dazai's eye slightly widen, he didn't speak and Chuuya just stared at him, a tired look on his
face.

"What? Let's go." Chuuya said and turned away from Dazai, walking outside the arcade.

Dazai followed close behind. When they reached Chuuya's house, Dazai opened the door
after Chuuya had tried but had failed, his vision having gotten blurry and unfocused from
tiredness. Chuuya's movements were robotic, taking his coat, shoes, and hat off, placing them
on the rack, he headed to his bedroom to change.
Dazai removed his coat and shoes as well before he headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of
water. Chuuya emerged from his room with his pajamas on, Dazai had never seen him with
them before, Chuuya looked Dazai dead in the eyes but didn't acknowledge him.

He moved to get a glass of water as well, drank it, and went back to his room. Dazai, whose
eyes had been following Chuuya's every movement, had finally drank his glass of water and
went to the couch. He lay there when he heard footsteps approaching. He looked up to see
Chuuya with a blanket in his arms.

Chuuya placed the blanket at Dazai's feet, he blankly looked at him before speaking, "I don't
have clothes that would fit you."

Dazai looked at him confused and then laughed, "It's fine Chibi."

Chuuya nods, "Goodnight." he whispered and walked away.

"Goodnight." Dazai said once the bedroom door was closed. He covered himself with the
blanket and after an hour of trying to sleep, he finally does.

Dazai had not been aware for how long he had been sleeping, the darkness of the room the
same as when he first fell asleep, he could not tell the time. He grabbed his phone which said
it was 3 am. He looked around when a door opened and he saw Chuuya come out from the
bathroom, "Oh, you're awake?" Chuuya asked.

"Why are you awake before me?" Dazai asked.

"The fuck? I tried to wake you, you were dead asleep."

Dazai looked down, "Ah," he paused, "Why are you awake?"

"Boss woke me." Chuuya groaned, "He couldn't get through to you so he called me."

Dazai checked his phone again and sure enough, he had 3 missed calls from Mori. He sighed
and put the phone down. Chuuya watched him, Dazai laid down on the couch and closed his
eye. They were silent for a minute, before Chuuya spoke, "Dazai."

Dazai hummed, he didn't move nor open his eye, Chuuya continued, "Why did we kiss?"

Dazai smiled, "I was testing something."

"Testing something?" Chuuya asked, a bit irritated.

"Yes, testing." Dazai hummed.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, "And what would you be testing that required us kissing?"

Dazai sat up, he opened his eye and looked straight into Chuuya's, "If I would like it."

Chuuya raised an eyebrow, "What the hell, you bastard?"

Dazai laughed, "Oh come on, Slug, you don't really believe that? I obviously wanted to see
how far you were willing to go for a bet."

"Asshole." Chuuya said angrily. His expression quickly changed as a realization hits him, he
started approaching Dazai.

Dazai looked at Chuuya approaching form, having to slightly peer up at him from his
position on the couch.

Chuuya bent slightly forward, "You're lying."

Dazai's expression did not change, "Oh?"

"If it was only of how far I would go for a bet, then you wouldn't have kissed me again after
we broke apart the first time." Chuuya smirked.

Dazai looked him up and down, once again focused on his eyes, and then smirked, "Had to
prove I was the better kisser."

Chuuya brought his hand under Dazai's chin, their faces were close to each other but not
close enough, "My lack of experience has nothing to do with the fact you wanted to kiss me."

"What makes you say that?" Dazai was nonchalant, giving away nothing.

"Simple, you asked for it in the first place." he paused, tilting Dazai's face upwards, "And you
went in for a second one, holding on to me so I wouldn't reject you."

There was an intensity between their gazes as their conversation developed, "And so what,
Chuuya? What would me wanting to kiss you change?"

"Admitting it, huh, Dazai?" Chuuya said, his voice coming out a little bit lower.

"What would change, Chuuya?" Dazai asked, a seriousness in his voice.

"Nothing. Nothing would change." Chuuya replied with the same seriousness.

Dazai hummed, he glanced down at Chuuya's lips before he focused back up at his eyes.
They stayed silent, Chuuya's hold on his chin had never left, their closeness instead of
decreasing, increased, their noses were touching.

"Do it." Dazai whispered and fixed his gaze down at Chuuya's lips again, this time not
looking back up.

Chuuya leaned in, their lips slightly touched and then he fully closed the distance. He started
slowly kissing him, Dazai responding with the same slowness. The hand that was on his chin,
started dropping away, Dazai brought his own hand up and held on to Chuuya's wrist, holding
his hand in place, between his chin and collarbone.

Chuuya's position was a bit uncomfortable, having to hold his weight with one arm at the
couch's edge while leaning in for the kiss, it was a bit weird, especially because Dazai was
sitting comfortably on the couch.

He went to pull away only for Dazai to bring his other hand behind his head to pull him back.
Chuuya's eyes slightly opened and closed again, he groaned against his lips. Dazai let him
pull away, never letting go of Chuuya's wrist.

Chuuya peered down at the hold and back up at Dazai who was only staring at him. He
moved so that he was standing in front of him, and then sat down on Dazai's lap. The younger
one's expression had not changed, but his hand on Chuuya's wrist had dropped. Chuuya
closed their distance again, wrapping his arms around Dazai's neck, his fingers tangling in his
hair. They kissed passionately, Dazai's hands traveling to Chuuya's hips and wrapping around
his back, pushing them closer together.

Chuuya's body had started relaxing against the touch, his mind a bit hazy from their kissing,
he hadn't noticed when a tongue had entered his mouth. He slightly pulled at Dazai's hair at
that moment, which made the taller boy moan against his lips.

Dazai pulled away and started kissing Chuuya's jawline, Chuuya breathed heavily as he felt
Dazai continue going down his neck. Near Chuuya's collarbone, Dazai started sucking at the
place, the hand that was still in Dazai's hair pulled at him, "No markings." he said, his voice
hoarse.

Dazai looked at the little red marking he had already created, "A little bit too late."

Chuuya groaned before kissing him again. They pulled away after a minute, Chuuya sighed,
his hands letting go of Dazai's hair and falling to the side. His eyes were closed, Dazai
watched him breathe in and out before he finally opened his eyes.

Their gazes locked with each other, emotions running wild within Chuuya but a dead look on
his face, similar to Dazai's. "Nothing's changed." he said.

Dazai's hold on him loosened, "Of course, Chuuya."

Chuuya grabbed Dazai's chin, leaned close, "Let me make one thing clear, we tell no one."

Dazai chuckled, "But of course, my lips are sealed."

Chuuya hummed, he let go of Dazai's chin and got up from his lap, "We should probably get
to work."

"Did boss say he needed us for something?" Dazai asked.

"Yeah." Chuuya replied and left the room. After he closed the door behind him, he leaned
against it and let out a sigh. He pushed himself off and started getting dressed.

It had been many hours later and Dazai was at Lupin awaiting for either Oda or Ango to
appear. He heard footsteps, and without turning his head he said, "Hey, Odasaku."

"Dazai." Oda said a drink had been placed in front of him as he sat down, "Have you been
waiting long?"
"I don't mind." Dazai smiled.

Oda hummed, he took a sip from his drink, "Say!" Dazai turned to look at him with an
excited expression on his face, "How was your day?"

"It was okay. What about you?" Oda asked calmly.

Dazai groaned, "The boss has had me on duty since 4 in the morning, I have barely slept in
the last 48 hours."

"Do you even sleep?"

Dazai laughed, "If it's pitch black, I might."

"Ah." Oda exclaimed and took another sip from his drink.

"Ah, Ango!" Dazai said and Ango soon thereafter appeared.

"Hey, you guys." said Ango once he entered the room.

"You look tired, Ango." Oda said.

Ango sighed, "Little bit too much paperwork today." he sat down on the barstool, a drink, as
always, had been placed before him, he took a big sip.

"Must have been a rough day." Oda said.

Ango hummed and took another big sip from his drink, emptying it quickly, he placed it
down and waited for his refill.

"Who's going to carry him home?" Dazai whispered to Oda.

Oda shrugged, "I will. I doubt you would want to."

"Aw, Odasaku, how nice of you. You're such a good friend." Dazai said in a cheery voice.

"You think so?"

"I know so." Dazai hummed.

"You seem happier today." Oda pointed out.

Dazai was mildly shocked, "Do I?"

"Compared to last time."

Dazai chuckled, "I guess, I might be."

Oda hummed, "Good to hear." a small smile was on his lips.

By the end of the night, Ango was drunk. Oda was carrying him out of the bar, "Goodnight
Dazai."

"Goodnight Odasaku." Dazai waved at them as they departed from the opposite direction.

Dazai was walking to the shipping containers, his home. He was tipsy and he had half a mind
to go at Chuuya's house, to either annoy the shorter boy or kiss him more, whatever came up
first but decided against it. He went home.

For the past few days, the boys had been meeting up at Chuuya's house, they would make out
during the nights or after intense missions where they needed some form of tension release.
Right now, it was late at night and they were making out on Chuuya's couch. They broke
apart.

Catching their breaths, Dazai broke the silence, "Chuuya is 18 today."

"You remember?" Chuuya asked, a bit confused.

"Of course." Dazai said with a cheery voice, "I need to make fun of Chibi for being older than
me."

"What a nice thing to say to someone sitting on your lap and making out with you for the past
hour or something." Chuuya said with an annoyed smile on his face.

Dazai chuckled and leaned in to give him a peck, but Chuuya backed away a bit, refusing
Dazai's kiss. He pouted and Chuuya only rolled his eyes, "Chuuuyaaa." he whined.

Chuuya went to get up only for Dazai to hold him in place, he groaned and gave Dazai the
peck he wanted, "You're such a child."

"You are a child too."

"According to the date, I'm not anymore." Chuuya smirked.

"Chuuya is growing old." Dazai chuckled.

This time, Chuuya pushed and got off of Dazai, "Yeah, no, that's it."

Dazai just laughed, "No, no." he said in between laughs, "Chuuya, come back."

"No." Chuuya said annoyed while walking away from him.

He went to his room, closing the door behind him. Dazai calmed down from laughing, he sat
on the couch waiting for Chuuya to return, after 10 minutes, he didn't, so Dazai got up and
opened the bedroom door.

Chuuya didn't look up, Dazai walked around the bed and laid down next to him, Chuuya's
back was facing him, "Get out of my bed, Mackerel."

"Why?" Dazai asked.

Chuuya turned around to glare at him, "Because it's weird."

"Chuuya, we're just laying next to each other, nothing weird is happening." Dazai had a calm
expression. "Except if you would want it there to be something happening..." he said with a
low voice.

Chuuya groaned, "Whatever you are implying will never happen."

"Us kissing would never happen and yet, here we are." Dazai said in an annoying higher-
pitched voice.

"It's become addictive..." Chuuya murmured, more to himself than to Dazai. A thought he
didn't want to say out loud but kind of slipping out.

"Is it the only reason?" Dazai asked, his expression was eerily serious for Chuuya's liking.

"What else would there be?" Chuuya said because denying it would imply the reason was
something else, something he wasn't ready to give into, or admit.

Dazai hummed and closed his eye. Chuuya stared at him, studying his features. His eyes
landed on Dazai's bandage, focusing on the piece that would cover his whole body. He had
met him with them, he always had them and Chuuya had always been curious as to why, even
if it was a question on the back of his mind, but he knew not to ask. He doesn't find it weird,
no. He's simply curious, and maybe, deep inside, a bit worried for the implications they had.

He then remembered the night on the roof, when they almost kissed, what Dazai had said
about soulmates. They have to look at both their eyes. Was Dazai covering his eye so that his
soulmate would never find him?

He lifted his hand and brought it close to Dazai's covered eye. It was grabbed before he could
touch the bandaged eye, "What are you doing, Chuuya?" Dazai opened his eye to look at
him.

"Trust me." Chuuya whispered.

Dazai stared at him for a second before letting go of Chuuya's hand, he made contact with
Dazai's cheek, his fingers brushing over the bandage. Dazai's body was rigid at first but
started relaxing at Chuuya's soothing way of moving his thump. He closed his eye again and
let the feeling lull him slowly to sleep. Chuuya's hand stayed at Dazai's cheek long after
Dazai had fallen asleep. In the number of times Dazai has slept at Chuuya's house, he would
barely ever see him asleep, and whenever he did, he had never looked as calm.

Whatever Dazai thought Chuuya would do to the bandage, had passed Chuuya's mind too.
Curiously wanting to know if maybe, just maybe, they are soulmates and Dazai knows, but he
doesn't know what would destroy them more. Dazai losing trust in him or Chuuya finding out
he's gaining a sort of affection for someone he had to know he shouldn't have, or that, they
are soulmates and Dazai deliberately hid it from him. He decided not to focus on it.
Sleepiness was taking over him after awhile of staring at Dazai, he removed his hand from
his cheek, covered both of them with the blankets, and fell asleep as well.

In the morning, he opened his eyes only to see he was alone on the bed. He sat up and looked
around, he could not hear anything. He assumed Dazai had left the moment he woke up,
something he has done before multiple times. He got up from the bed and got ready for work.

Getting to the Port Mafia building, he went to his office. His day had been a rather normal
one. Paperwork, small missions here and there. But he had not seen Dazai all day and nobody
had mentioned his birthday, which he did not mind.

At some point during the day, Kouyou had called him to meet in one of the rooms. He
entered the room and saw two wine glasses on a table, a wine bottle in the center, not opened.
Kouyou was sitting on an armchair.

"You asked for me, Ane-san?" Chuuya got closer.

She smiled and motioned for him to sit. Chuuya sat on the other armchair in the room,
Kouyou motioned for him to open the wine bottle in front of them. He did and poured some
of it in their glasses. Kouyou picked up the glass for a toast, Chuuya did the same.

"Happy 18th birthday, kid." Kouyou smiled, they clinked glasses.

Chuuya smiled as well, "Thank you, Ane-san."

They both drank from their glasses, "Will you be doing something to celebrate it?" Kouyou
asked, placing her glass down.

Chuuya stared at his glass and swirled it, "No, I don't think so." he said.

Kouyou hummed, "You should. You don't get to become 18 every day."

"Yeah, well... I don't think it matters a lot."

"It is your birthday, you spend it however you like." Kouyou shrugged, picking up her glass
again and taking a sip.

Chuuya hummed and took another sip himself. When they were done, he excused himself
and went back to his office. Once he entered, he noticed something on top of his desk. He got
closer and saw a singular flower with a small card next to it.

The flower was a red camellia or also called tsubaki. He peered confusingly at the flower, he
picked up the card next to it. It read 'Happy Birthday.' and it wasn't signed. He picked up the
flower and looked it over... the flower that represents death and love was given to him on his
birthday, how weird.

A few hours later, he was sent home. He entered his house and, "Chuuya is finally home!" a
voice behind him said cheerfully.
Chuuya turned around and his knife was thrown in the direction of the voice. He saw it was
Dazai a little bit too late, luckily the boy dodged the incoming knife, and so it landed behind
him on the wall.

"Jesus Dazai! I could have killed you." Chuuya exclaimed angrily.

"Well, that would have been lovely. Dying on your birthday seems to have a nice twisted ring
to it." Dazai said calmly.

Chuuya groaned and rolled his eyes, he walked beside Dazai, going to the knife on the wall,
"Why are you here?"

"Chuuya didn't miss me?" Dazai pouted.

"Not really." Chuuya said nonchalantly, he picked up the knife and put it back on its seethe.
"Wait, did you break into my house?" he asked, realizing Dazai had been inside the house
before him.

"Ah, Chuuya, why I would break in when I have a key?"

He turned to look at him, "I never gave you a key."

"I made one." Dazai said and showed him the key.

"What— You know what? Whatever." Chuuya sighed.

"Does that mean that Chuuya is fine with me having a key to his house?" Dazai asked with a
calm but amused voice.

Chuuya started walking away, with a motion of his hand he said, "Yeah, yeah. I don't care."

Dazai hummed happily. Chuuya walked to the rack and placed his coat, while doing so, he
took out the flower that was given to him today. Dazai was watching his every movement,
from taking the flower off the coat to getting a small vase, filling it with water, and placing it
there.

"Who gave this to you?" he asked.

Chuuya looked at him, "I don't know. A genius like you should probably know though."

Dazai shrugged, "You know it means death, right?"

Chuuya hummed, "Well aware. But it also means love."

"And who loves you Chuuya?"

"Maybe no one and they wanted to tell me to die, or maybe someone." Chuuya said, his
attention turning to the flower.
In Chuuya's mind, the only one who could have sent such a flower to him, with a meaning
like this, could have only been the man in front of him. A mixed message where he's not sure
if he's being confessed to or being told to die as a cruel little joke on his birthday. And if
Dazai wanted to play dumb, he'd gladly play along.

"Why are you here?" he asked again.

"Why, indeed.." Dazai hummed, he closed his eye. Chuuya was staring at him, a curious
expression on his face. Dazai opened his eye again and started walking closer to Chuuya. He
looked down at him while Chuuya looked up, he leaned in and kissed him.

Chuuya accepted, knowing that he probably won't get an answer. Dazai pulled away after a
minute, they stared at each other, his focus was on the blue-gray eyes, that were searching his
face, trying to read his mind but failing to.

"Let's go drinking." he said.

Chuuya looked at him in bewilderment, "Huh?"

Dazai chuckled, "You heard me."

"No." Chuuya said.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't want to celebrate my birthday." he said nonchalantly.

"Ever since what happened two years ago, you don't seem to want to celebrate it, why is
that?" Dazai said thoughtfully.

"I just don't. I don't see the point in it." Chuuya shrugged.

Dazai stared silently at him, "Is it because you're a clone?"

Chuuya tsked, "So what if it is?"

Dazai cupped his cheek, Chuuya glared at him, "Just because you don't remember your
childhood, or that you can never get an answer of your true nature, does not mean you're not
human."

Chuuya pulled away from his hold, "Quit that."

Dazai's hand hangs in the air, "Quit what?"

"That." Chuuya exhaled, "I don't want to celebrate my birthday because I wasn't born like any
other human, I was created."

"All of us were created." Dazai said in a serious tone.

"Ugh!" Chuuya exclaimed angrily, "Stop it, Dazai! You know, you're fully aware of what I
mean."

"Just..." he sighed, "Leave. Please. I just want this day to be done and over with."

Dazai stared at him, as Chuuya rubbed his temples, no emotions on his face. He sighed and
started walking to the door, Chuuya looked up at him, he opened the door, "You're more
human than I'll ever be." he heard Dazai say, his voice low enough that if it wasn't dead quiet
in the room, he wouldn't have heard him.

Dazai walked out and closed the door behind him. Chuuya waited a moment before he picked
up the nearest object, a glass, and threw it at the door. It shattered against it, Chuuya was
ragged, a wave of anger taking over his body, he breathed in and out in a rather feral way,
"Asshole." he said under his breath.

A petal from the flower fell in that moment.

Almost two months later, it was Dazai's birthday but Chuuya had been on a mission for a
week now, returning late in the evening.

Dazai had been bored the whole day, waiting patiently to be excused for the day. No, he
didn't care to celebrate his birthday, it just meant another year he failed to die but he couldn't
help himself and wanted to go to Lupin and hang out with Oda and Ango. So, when the time
came for him to leave, he was off to Lupin.

He waited for any of his companions to appear, an untouched drink in front of him. "Ah,
Ango."

Ango appeared first, "Am I early?" he asked.

"Not at all, Odasaku is just running a bit late." Dazai smiled.

Ango hummed and sat next to him on the left side, as always, a drink was placed in front of
him.

"Here he comes." Dazai hummed and Ango turned his head to the right, on the entrance had
just entered Oda. "Hey, Odasaku."

"Hey." he greeted them and sat on the stool.

Dazai picked up his glass and raised it a bit, "Let's make a toast."

"What are we toasting to?" Oda asked.

"Are we celebrating something?" Ango asked right after him.

"Nothing in particular." he said, his eye closed, a small smile on his face.

Ango peered at Oda from over Dazai, Oda shrugged and they raised their glasses. They
clinked them together and took a sip.
By the end of the night, Dazai was most definitely tipsy, all of them were to a degree. They
separated and Dazai was walking alone down the streets, he started thinking of Chuuya and
how he wanted to see him and so, without truly realizing it, his hazy mind had taken him
outside his house.

He had a key yet he still knocked on the door, it opened after a minute, "Dazai?"

"Chuuya!" he exclaimed happily. He walked in, his arms outstretched, he hugged the shorter
man.

Chuuya pushed him but he wouldn't budge, "Dazai, let go so I can close the door." he said
against him.

Dazai slowly retracted himself from him and stepped aside. Chuuya closed the door and
turned to him, "What's wrong with you?"

Dazai smiled, "Nothing, I just missed Chibi."

Chuuya looked at him confused, "You missed me?"

Dazai hummed and wrapped his arms around Chuuya once more. The shorter man was
confused and didn't move his hands to hug him back. Dazai lowered his head, his lips
brushing at the corner of Chuuya's lips. Chuuya recoiled and pushed him slightly, not enough
for Dazai to let him go but to create space. "You're drunk."

"Not drunk, just tipsy." Dazai chuckled.

Chuuya sighed, "Let me make you a coffee." he got out of Dazai's grip and walked towards
the kitchen.

Dazai followed him and watched him make him the coffee. Once he was done, a cup was
placed in front of him, "Drink this."

Dazai looked down at the cup and back up at Chuuya, he picked it up and drank a little bit,
"Gah, it's bitter."

"You'll sober up that way." Chuuya said.

Dazai made a disgusted face, he continued drinking it until he finished it. Chuuya took the
cup and placed it on the sink, "Do you feel soberer?"

"Coffee is not magic, Chuuya, it doesn't work so fast." he said in a sing-song voice.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Whatever smart-ass. Come on, let's go sleep."

Dazai perked up, "Oh?"

"Just come, you bastard." he groaned.

Dazai followed him to the bedroom, they laid next to each other, Chuuya was staring at his
face, "It was your birthday."

Dazai didn't say anything, he simply leaned in closer to him. He kissed him, Chuuya didn't
push him away, he knew that Dazai didn't want to talk about it, he never did, so he never
pushed.

The kiss tasted like a mix of alcohol and coffee, a weird combination between the two but
Chuuya didn't mind, he brought his hand behind Dazai's neck and deepened their kiss. Dazai
sighed against him, he moved on top of Chuuya, never breaking their kiss.

Drowning. Chuuya felt like he was drowning. Something had been different, and yet, he
couldn't pinpoint it. He'd been used to the always present softness behind their kisses, yet this
one had nothing of that in it. Dazai was desperately trying to grasp at the control and his way
of doing so was getting aggressive. He moved down on Chuuya's neck, Chuuya breathed
heavily, trying to catch his breath, his mind a hazy maze he needed to snap out of before it
got too far.

He felt Dazai's hands get under his shirt, his lips having traveled at his collarbone, small
markings littered his neck already, "Dazai." he breathlessly let out, Dazai ignored him and
continued to lightly suck on his skin, hands pulling his shirt up to his stomach, "Dazai, you're
drunk."

That made him pause, Chuuya could feel Dazai's breath against his skin, he looked down at
him but Dazai's face was covered by his hair.

Chuuya sighed, he cupped Dazai's face and brought it back up to his own. He gave him a
small kiss, Dazai sighing against it. They pulled away, Dazai's head was placed to his chest,
Chuuya wrapped his arms around him and his fingers had started playing with his hair.

In the silence of the room, the only thing they could hear was the ticking of the clock,
Chuuya had been staring at the ceiling for the past 20 minutes, he hadn't stopped his soothing
motions on Dazai's head and he was sure that after 20 minutes and how his body had relaxed
by the minute, that the boy had fallen asleep. "For what it's worth," he whispered, "I'm glad
you're still alive."

He closed his eyes and was soon asleep, completely unaware that Dazai had heard him.

A few days later, Chuuya was with Kouyou. She had called him to discuss something but
Chuuya's mind had been somewhere else. Kouyou sighed, "What is it that has your mind
occupied?"

He turned his attention to her, a bit dazed, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." she smiled, "So, what is on your mind kid?"

"Do you know what soulmates are?" he hesitated.

Kouyou's eyes slightly widen, "Soulmates?"

Chuuya nodded, his expression had been serious, Kouyou cleared her throat, "Are we talking
about color soulmates?"

"I guess?"

Kouyou hummed, "Have never had such a problem," she paused, "I know that the kid,
Akutagawa Ryunosuke, suffers from it."

"Dazai's subordinate."

She nodded, "According to him and his sister, he can't see yellow."

"Dazai never told me," Chuuya looked down and frowned to himself, "What are your
thoughts on the subject?"

"Not much to say, I find it a misfortune for the people going through it." she shrugged.

"A misfortune, huh?" he thought to himself.

"Meeting a soulmate would not guarantee one's happiness nor a happily ever after. Humans
are messy, whoever is considered one's soulmate could very well be the cause of their pain."

He frowned, "But, aren't they supposed to be the 'perfect' match?"

"A perfect match doesn't exist. Platonic or not, a perfect match could never exist, and if it's in
the romantic aspect of the word, it'll cause more pain than what it's worth. If temporary
happiness in the illusion of love, results in unimaginable pain, it's a worthless act." she drank
from her cup of tea by the end of her speech.

"Right." Chuuya mumbled quietly, they went back to speaking for mission details. His mind
still reeling from their conversation but he tried not to show it.

Later that day, he was called to Mori's office. He entered the room, but instead of Mori he
saw, "Dazai?"

"Chuuya, you came." Dazai cheered, he was sitting at Mori's chair, behind the desk, his hands
intertwined together.

"Where's the boss?" he asked.

"Outside, dealing with a job." Dazai hummed.

"I'm leaving." Chuuya turned around to leave.

"Isn't Chuuya curious as to why I called him?"

Chuuya paused, he turned around and glared suspiciously at him, "What do you want?"

Dazai smiled mischievously, there was a glint in his eye, "You. Against this desk."
Chuuya could feel the air leave his lungs, his eyes widen, and then quickly glared at him,
"What makes you think I'd let you?"

Dazai sighed, he pushed the chair back and got up from it, he walked around the desk and
paused, "Once." he started walking again, getting closer to Chuuya, he had raised his hand
while doing so, pointing one.

"Once and then, after you have gained the experience, have me begging all you want." he was
now in front of Chuuya, and Chuuya could see a mixture of lust and something else behind
Dazai's eye.

He had been glaring at him, "Once?" he questioned, Dazai nodded slightly, "Then, I make
you beg?"

"If you can." Dazai smirked.

Chuuya smirked back but was more annoyed than how Dazai was, "Fine."

They were close, extremely close, one of them could lean closer, and close their distance,
their cycle once again beginning.

Chuuya turned around and left the room before that, though.

Later that night, they were kissing on Chuuya's bed, Chuuya was sitting on Dazai's lap.

They broke apart, Chuuya leaned back and stared at Dazai's expressionless face with a frown.
Dazai's gaze drifted slowly down Chuuya's body and back up his eyes, "I won't force Chuuya
to do something he doesn't want." he spoke quietly while bringing his hand to Chuuya's hair
to play with.

Chuuya watched the movement and turned back his attention on Dazai, he brought his own
hands on Dazai's tie and started loosening it. Dazai dropped his hand from Chuuya's hair and
watched the redhead take his tie off. After it was, he started slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

Dazai didn't dare to move, watching breathlessly Chuuya's slow movements. The shirt was
opened and Chuuya placed his hand on his bandaged chest. He could feel Dazai's heart
racing, he breathed in slowly and exhaled, he moved his hand lower, reaching Dazai's belt.

Dazai grabbed both of Chuuya's hands before he could do something more and flipped them
over, "I gave you enough control." he said in a low voice and lowered himself to his neck.

He started sucking on the skin while his hands got busy with Chuuya's clothing. They had
both pulled each other's shirts off and Dazai had lowered himself onto Chuuya's body, kissing
him down slowly.

His tongue lapped on Chuuya's nipples and moved lower. Chuuya was breathless at the
sensations his body was feeling, Dazai had reached close to Chuuya's navel and he looked up
at the boy. He brought his hands to unbuckle, unbutton, and remove his pants. Dazai placed
Chuuya's thigh on his shoulder and started kissing and sucking at the inner part, getting lower
and lower. He placed a simple kiss at the tent on his boxers, Chuuya sucked in a breath at the
feeling.

Dazai looked up at him and smirked before he started the same treatment on the other thigh,
this time not kissing Chuuya's growing erection, he instead came up to him and kissed his
lips.

Chuuya sighed against him, his arms wrapping around his back, the feel of his bandages
familiar but annoying for what they were doing. He tried to untangle them a bit, in hopes to
feel some skin but Dazai pulled away from him, "Don't do that." his voice had been a
warning.

Chuuya moved his hands to his hair and pulled, he glared at him, "Or what?"

Dazai let out a low chuckle and leaned back down to briefly kiss him, he lowered himself
back in-between Chuuya's thighs. He pulled Chuuya's boxers off, the restriction the fabric
had on his erection finally off, Chuuya let out a sigh.

Dazai brought his hand to grasp at the tip and press down on the slit with his thump which
made Chuuya gasp. He started kissing the base of his cock, bringing his tongue out. He
licked and kissed his way up, his hand letting go of the grip it had on his tip, precum starting
to leak from it. Dazai slowly took in Chuuya's erection in his mouth, which made Chuuya
silently let out a groan from the feeling.

He took him fully in, Chuuya felt his tip touch the back of his throat, he arched his back and
his head leaned backward, dropping back down a second later and looking down at Dazai,
who was looking up at him. He started moving his head up and down at a slow pace.

He was making sure to drive him crazy, he momentarily removed his mouth from him,
bringing his tongue out to lick at the tip and bobbed back down, the pace was picking up,
stopping his movements at times to the base of Chuuya's cock. The redhead had been
gripping Dazai's hair this whole time, his breath coming out ragged and moans escaping his
lips, his eyes would roll back as he felt himself getting closer to release and then would
quickly glare down at the man who would stop before he could, groaning.

Dazai finally withdrew his mouth from Chuuya's erection, his lips swollen, he came up to
kiss Chuuya's lips. They kissed for a moment before Dazai pulled away, he sat up on his
knees and started removing his boxers. Chuuya sat up after him, watching his every
movement, his eyes traveling to every part of Dazai's body, never truly focusing on one thing.
Bandages all over his body, the only uncovered part being his waist. He watched Dazai's
hand move at his erection and pump in at a slow pace up and down, his thump pressing over
his slit, the already leaking cock releasing more precum, which Dazai spread over the tip.

His eyes were focused on Chuuya who gulped as he continued to watch Dazai please himself,
a groan escaped Dazai's lips with a certain movement. He quickly removed his hand from his
erection and sucked in a breath as to not whimper at the loss of friction he had created.
Chuuya looked up at him, "Turn around." Dazai's voice was hoarse as he said that.
Chuuya obeyed and turned around, Dazai placed his hands on his back and pushed him down
the mattress, not violently, with barely any force but enough for Chuuya to bend down. His
hands moved to Chuuya's hips and lifted that part of his body, he lowered them to his butt
and spread the cheeks. A feather-like touch was pressed against Chuuya's entrance and he
shivered, Dazai leaned closer and Chuuya could feel his hot breath. His lips pressed a soft
kiss against his butt cheek and then another one on the other cheek before he pressed the final
one to the rim.

He brought his tongue out to lick at the muscle. He could feel Chuuya slightly tensing at the
feeling but quickly letting himself relax and enjoy it. Dazai kneaded Chuuya's ass while
sensually licking at the rim, waiting for it to fully relax before he started penetrating him.

When that happened, he could hear Chuuya let out the softest moans, barely audible if the
room had not been dead quiet. Dazai smiled against him and continued his penetration until
he pulled back, a whimper escaping Chuuya's lips. Dazai pressed his thump against the rim,
he put mild pressure on it but not enough to enter. He backed off and reached to the side of
the bed for his coat that was tossed to the ground when they entered the room, he searched in
his pockets and pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube. Chuuya had been watching
him from his place to the bed, his face still pressed against the mattress.

The condom was put to the side, and Dazai popped open the bottle, he coated his fingers with
lube and then put some on Chuuya's entrance. Chuuya hissed at the cold feeling but soon felt
fingers rub him before one entered him. His whole body went rigid at the feeling, Dazai's
whole finger was in him but it was not moving, waiting for when Chuuya had adjusted and
relaxed. Once he did, he slowly moved it inside him. Doing it long enough for the muscle to
be able to accept a second finger.

Dazai was scissoring him open, Chuuya moaned loudly when a third finger entered the
penetrations, pushing against them, creating a rhythm of their own. Dazai pulled his fingers
out and Chuuya whimpered, not being afraid to hide his dissatisfaction.

Dazai leaned over to him and quickly connected their lips before grabbing the condom and
putting it on his dick, he also grabbed the bottle of lube again and put a generous amount on
it. Stroking himself to spread the lube, he positioned himself at Chuuya's entrance.

The tip slowly entered and Chuuya gripped at the sheets, the more he would feel him enter
the more tense he grew at the stinking feeling, "Chuuya," Dazai said out of breath behind
him, "I need you to relax and let me in."

Chuuya breathed in and out for a few seconds and tried to get his body to relax, Dazai
bottomed out inside him and waited for Chuuya to adjust. He leaned forward and peppered
him with kisses on his nape. Chuuya continued to breathe heavily, "Move." his voice came
out strained.

Dazai fully pulled out, the tip barely in, before he pushed himself back in. His pace was slow,
his touch a sweet caress on Chuuya's back.

The more used to it he got, the more forceful Dazai became with his thrusts, the faster the
pace would get. Sounds of pleasure would escape both their lips, specifically Chuuya's lewd
moans would echo around the otherwise silent room, "Dazai—" he gasped.

Dazai pulled out and turned the redhead around, crashing their lips together while he guided
his cock back inside him again, placing Chuuya's thighs to rest on his shoulders. Deep
thrusts, one after the other, Dazai could feel himself getting closer to the edge. One of his
hands moved to grab at Chuuya's neglected cock and stroke it at the rhythm of his thrusts.

Chuuya's back arched and his head leaned backward as he let out another loud moan, Dazai
was sucking and kissing his exposed neck. Soon, he felt the boy spasm before releasing on
Dazai's hand, the sticky substance covering now both their stomachs. Dazai could feel him
tighten around him, the sensation driving his lust-filled mind crazy, trying to continue to
thrust in him, chasing his release while also overstimulating Chuuya in the progress.

Chuuya's moans were now closer to screams from how everything felt, the continuous deep
thrusts after his orgasm were making his head feel extremely fussy, tears were running down
his cheeks while his hands went to grip at Dazai's hair forcefully. The pace changed to
something more erratic, a small pause indicating Dazai had finally come onto the condom.

Once the high had left his body, he dropped on top of Chuuya. Both boys were breathing
heavily, Chuuya had released his grip from Dazai's hair and fell limp, his eyes closed.

A minute or so passed before Dazai moved, he placed both hands at Chuuya's side and
propped himself up on his elbows. Chuuya didn't flinch nor opened his eyes at the movement
on top of him, he just knew that Dazai was staring at him.

He felt feather-like kisses on his throat and he groaned, "What do you want, Dazai?"

Dazai continued to kiss him, in a pattern-like way. Chuuya quickly realized the places he was
being kissed to were the places Dazai had most likely left marks on him.

The man soon stopped and slowly got up from the bed, Chuuya never opened his eyes and
just simply let himself relax on the mattress. He distantly heard the water running, and then
footsteps approaching him. Dazai poked his cheek, "Chuuya."

Chuuya groaned and frowned at the poking throughout his body, he caught Dazai's hand and
opened his eyes, "Stop that."

Dazai softly smiled at him, "Come on, we need to clean up."

Chuuya rolled his eyes and sat up, he winced a bit and Dazai chuckled, "Want me to help
you?" he smirked.

He reached out for him and Chuuya slapped his hand away, "I can use my ability, don't touch
me."

Dazai raised his hands in surrender when Chuuya glared at him. His ability was activated, a
red hue surrounding his body, he was practically floating while also walking to the bathroom,
with Dazai behind him looking amused.

"We're not bathing together." Chuuya turned around at the bathroom entrance door.
Dazai chuckled, "Chuuya, we just basically had sex."

"Watch me care, fucker." he said and closed the door.

He turned to see the bath filled up and bubbly, he sighed and placed himself in it. The warm
water made his sore body relax quickly.

After he cleaned up, he got out of the bath and the bathroom with a towel on his hips. He saw
Dazai on the bed, a pair of boxers on him while he looked at the ceiling, his attention turned
to Chuuya once he heard him, "Ah, Chuuya is done."

He got up and passed him to the bathroom. Chuuya ignored him as well and simply got
dressed. The sheets seemed changed so he didn't bother with it and he laid on the bed on his
stomach. He watched the bathroom door for when Dazai would come out.

When the younger man does, Chuuya had expected to see him only in a towel but instead, he
could see fresh bandages wrapped all over his body. He got dressed as Chuuya watched him
intently.

Once he was dressed, he got into the bed as well, "Are you displeased?" Dazai asked.

Chuuya's eyes widen and then he sighed, "I'm tired, Dazai."

Dazai hummed, he turned to stare back at Chuuya. His eye had a melancholic feeling behind
it and Chuuya could not decipher why. Dazai leaned in and gave him a deep kiss on the lips,
sighing against it, "Goodnight, Chuuya." he said and laid back on his side of the bed.

Chuuya watched him momentarily before saying, "Goodnight."

It was less than three days later that he was once again called to Mori's office, he had half
expected it to be Dazai again but was proven wrong when it was Mori who had called him.

"Chuuya-kun, you'll be sent on a week-long mission." Mori intertwined his fingers and
brought his hands under his chin.

"Yes, sir." Chuuya said and bowed before turning around to leave the room, knowing he
needs to get ready for the mission.

On his way to prepare, he runs into Dazai, "Why is Chuuya in a hurry?" he asked
mischievously.

"Got a week-long mission, need to prepare." he replied hurriedly, ready to ignore Dazai's
nonsense.

"Aw, I'm not going to see Chibi for a week?" he said in mock sadness.

"Wouldn't be the first time, and stop acting like you care." Chuuya said annoyed.

Dazai hummed, "True." his answer was ignoring the second part of Chuuya's sentence.
Chuuya rolled his eyes and continued walking, Dazai following close behind, "Stop
following me, Mackerel."

"If I'm not going to see Chibi for a week, I want a kiss goodbye." Dazai's voice had an
amused hint to it.

He side-ways glared at him, "The fuck? Since when do we do those?"

"We can start now."

Chuuya laughed, "We are not a couple, Dazai."

"We're not." he said and walked in front of him, making Chuuya stop in his tracks, "But, I
simply want to kiss you."

Chuuya tsked and pushed him out of the way, "Fuck off Mackerel."

Dazai did not follow Chuuya this time, he watched him disappear into the corner, both not
knowing it would be their last interaction for a longer time than a week.

By the end of the week, Dazai had left the Mafia, disappearing into the shadows. Chuuya
returned from his mission, unaware of the events that had unfolded that landed to his partner
leaving. Reporting to the boss, he was not expecting the conversation to change, "Great job,
Chuuya-kun. Oh, and I must inform you that from now on you'll be working on your own,
Dazai has betrayed our organization."

His eyes widen but he quickly composed himself, "Good riddance." he said, his voice
monotone, no emotions on his face nor his mind.

Mori simply chuckled, "Perhaps, it'll be for the best," he paused, "or for the worst." he closed
his eyes as he said that.

Chuuya did not respond, he did not move nor was he truly there. His mind was barely paying
attention to Mori's words so when Mori said that he can leave to rest, he simply nodded and
left the room. His surroundings were a blur, his movements robotic, automatic. He didn't
know what he felt, and the cold night air hitting his face did not bring him back to reality.

His feet took him slowly to his car when suddenly, he saw it explode in front of him. It was
what made him snap back, his eyes were focused on the burning pieces of metal that were his
car. The first feeling that registered within him was anger. Immense anger and yet what left
his lips was a manic laugh. He didn't know for how long he was laughing, or that his laughs
had turned into coughs from the smoke until he felt a hand touch his shoulder.

He snapped at the person touching him, "What!"

He saw Kouyou with a sympathetic look on her face, "I suggest you try getting back home
and rest kid, it has been a long week."

The anger was still present in his eyes but he sighed, closing them in hopes to calm down and
not glare daggers at her, "Sorry. I will."
He opened them and calmly looked at her, she smiled and patted his shoulder before letting
him go. Chuuya walked to his house, where the first thing he did, was to grab a bottle of
wine.

The bottle he grabbed was a Pètrus, Pomerol 1889. An expensive bottle he had planned to
save for a special occasion, but what was more special than Dazai leaving the Mafia? He had
to celebrate such a thing.

He raised the bottle in a mock toast and took a swing from it. He should be happy, he is
happy, the only thing that man did was annoy him. So, he's happy that he finally left. Because
he didn't care if Dazai turned traitor, he didn't care if he was alive or not. He did not care.

Swing after swing, he became drunker and drunker, his happy celebration had turned into
something else. Everything, every moment from the past few years, from the moment they
met until the last time he saw him, all those memories swirled in his mind, making him angry.
Angry at him, for everything he initiated, everything he filled Chuuya's head with. Angry at
himself, for allowing it, believing it, and falling for it.

Against everything that would scream at him to not fall for his manipulative mind, he did.
And a fool he was for it. But when they were together, everything seemed to fall into place
and yet still be a chaotic mess. He wished he knew how to explain the thrilling yet most
painful emotion his relationship with Dazai would always bring him.

Trusting him turned out to be a mistake, one he had wished not to be but, at the end of the
day, Dazai had become one more person that left him.

In the end, he was alone all over again. And the worst part? It felt different than before. No, it
never stopped hurting when people betrayed him or left him. Never, but he had truly started
believing Dazai wouldn't leave him. That, if he were to ever come back and learn that Dazai
was gone, it would be because he succeeded in his attempts.

He's not sure if it would've hurt less, but knowing that he didn't die, that he didn't give in to
his demons but instead left, by his own volition, never saying goodbye, hurt.

It hurt far too much for it to be normal. And, without even realizing it, he called him. Again
and again, he called with no answer. Chuuya looked at the almost empty bottle in his hand,
his anger which had faded with his thoughts, suddenly returned from his ignored phone calls
and he threw the bottle at the wall.

He watched it break, the remaining alcohol coloring the wall a red color. But he didn't care
enough, not for the damage, not for the waisted wine, whatever had been left of it. He just
knew that he was tired. Tired from the mission, tired from his overwhelming emotions, he
just wanted and needed sleep.

He did not bother to change out of his clothes, he simply fell on his bed and was soon asleep.

He woke up abruptly the next day and ran to the bathroom to puke out the consumed alcohol.
After he was done and got cleaned up, he cursed at himself for the hangover he had created.
Getting to work and participating in missions was a work in it on itself, having to deal with
his pounding head, but he managed through.

It didn't take long for him to adjust to never seeing Dazai, rather than being within the Port
Mafia or his house. There were just some days where he'd expect him to be there. Days
where he expected to hear his annoying voice, or feel his soft touch. Those days where he
would curse at himself for missing him.

Four years passed, both men had no news of each other. Dazai had joined the Armed
Detective Agency for two years now. Chuuya was still within the Port Mafia, currently on a
mission. He had gotten over whatever it was he was feeling for Dazai, he was mostly angry
and annoyed at the mention of him.

The first-ever person within the Port Mafia that knew and had seen Dazai again after four
years, was Akutagawa. Which had led to Dazai's kidnapping and reunion with Chuuya.

Chuuya returned from his week-long mission, and the moment he was informed that Dazai
had been captured by the Mafia, he went to him. Not to free him, not to ask for explanations
as to why he had left, because, no matter how much he had thought about it, he knew he
would've left one day. No, he went to him to mess with him, take revenge, gets his anger out.

He walked down the stairs, "Plotting as usual?"

From their distance, he could notice a difference the man had, like the always present
bandage on his eye was gone. He took steps closer, staring at him, noticing something else
changing within his vision. A color he had never seen before was present in their
environment, specifically, it was present on Dazai. Brown. Brown-red eyes were staring back
at him, chocolate brown hair was framing his face, but Chuuya's expression was the same.
There was a brief moment of silence as if Dazai had known what had just happened to
Chuuya's vision, and he did.

"You haven't changed at all, Chuuya." said the taller man, distracting Chuuya from his
already frantic thoughts.

With their conversation developing, Chuuya had momentarily grabbed Dazai by his hair and
got closer to him, a death glare aimed at Dazai, he briefly noticed the color reflected in them
and that even after leaving the Mafia, even if he's in a better place, those eyes still lacked
something in them, the darkness surrounding them, a lingering presence in the background.
Still as broken as before, color or not.

Annoyance and anger had started consuming Chuuya, his mind being kept occupied with
anything and everything else happening in their present time.

He had left the room as quickly as possible after his embarrassing act. He's not sure why he
even complied with Dazai's antics. He could still, briefly, hear Dazai's laughter.

Walking inside the building, his thoughts went back to his realization of being able to see
brown, for the very first time, he saw Dazai's eyes and hair color, and it somehow added
beauty to the color. As he made his way to Mori's office he remembered something, the
soulmates phenomenon.

He stopped in his tracks and frowned at himself. All his conversations of such a thing had
been made 4 years ago, the first-person bringing it up being Dazai.

The rules of this phenomenon are simple, 'look at both eyes of your soulmate and the color
you miss will return'. Simple. But, Dazai always wore a bandage, he wasn't able to do what is
asked of him. Dazai had told him he also could not see a color, blue.

Was Dazai Chuuya's soulmate but not the other way around? Was that even possible?

He quickly counted it as a no because he knew what it was. Dazai knew, from the very
moment they met, he knew they were soulmates but he had decided to never tell Chuuya. As
to why that was, Chuuya wasn't sure of that answer but if Dazai didn't want to acknowledge
their connection to each other, then Chuuya wouldn't even.

Even if that made his heart break a little bit. He didn't need more to know that Dazai didn't
want anything to do with it. He did his part in experimenting with the bond. And Chuuya
only realizes how much more he had fallen for his manipulations.

A little while later, they met again. More like, being forced to meet again. Partnered once
more, for most likely not the last time, to Chuuya's dismay. That night Chuuya used
Corruption again, after 4 years of being unable to, he went into that state of mind again, a
place he did not miss, no matter its usefulness.

That night proved to him how much he still trusted him with his life. How much he still cared
whenever he got hurt. How Dazai was still as soft with him as ever after Corruption. Yet, he
was left behind in the cold night.

The next time they saw each other had been at Shibusawa's return. Chuuya had been ordered
to go assist Dazai on his plan, and so he did. Using Corruption, certain Dazai was alive,
certain he would nullify it, and accepting of the possibility of his death, he jumped off the
plane. After an intense fight, the Dragon had been defeated and Dazai with Chuuya had fallen
back to the ground.

Chuuya passed out on his lap, when he woke up, he had been placed against a fallen wall of a
building, sitting up, with no Dazai in sight. He'd figured he would have left him, so it hadn't
mattered. Yet, a small paper note had been placed in his grasp, only one word written in it...
roof.

Having quickly recovered from the incident, he was back into missions. One after the other,
he had been tired. He had ignored the note Dazai had left him, he knew what it meant, what
he had to do, but he avoided the place by keeping himself busy. One day, he decided, when
his curiosity had gotten the better of him, to go up on his roof. A habit he hadn't done since
Dazai left, because it just didn't feel the same. He wasn't sure if he would see him there,
having been already a week since the note was left with him. Yet, Dazai was there, on his
roof, chilling, watching at the night sky casually as if he belonged there.
"How did you get up here?" Chuuya glared at him.

Dazai barely looked up at him, "Ah, Chuuya, so good to see you, again." he then pulled out a
key from his coat, "Through your door," he sat up, "You need to change your locks, Chuuya."

"Didn't think you'll keep the key." Chuuya scoffed and sat next to him, "Have you been
coming here for a week sitting on my roof?"

"No."

Chuuya stared at him suspiciously, Dazai continued, "Knew you weren't going to take me up
on my offer right away."

He rolled his eyes, "Of course you did." He looked up at the sky and let out a sigh, "What do
you want?"

"Why must I want something?" Dazai said amused.

Chuuya turned his attention back to him, an emotionless expression on his face, "Don't you
always?"

Dazai brought his hand up and went to cup Chuuya's cheek. Chuuya flinched away, "You let
me touch your cheek a week ago." Dazai said.

"Corruption gets nullified only by your touch, it wasn't my choice where you touched me for
it."

Dazai hummed and dropped his hand. They stayed silent until Chuuya got up, "You should
leave." he started walking towards the door.

"You can see brown now." Dazai said it as more of a fact than a question, "How does it feel?"

"Like shit." Chuuya said, never turning back around to look at Dazai. He left the roof.

Dazai sighed and followed him inside, "So dramatic, Chuuya."

Chuuya was getting annoyed, "Dazai, can you just piss off? And while you're at it, leave your
fucking key here."

Dazai rolled his eyes, "Oh, but Chuuya, who said I don't have a copy of the copy?"

Chuuya turned around, "Then, bring that copy as well the next time you decide to break into
my house." he was smiling but his voice sounded annoyed.

"Breaking an entering would mean I bobby-pinned my way in, I had a key." Dazai said
amused.

"We both know you could, the key is an excuse not to." Chuuya rolled his eyes.

"So, taking my key away won't get rid of me." Dazai smirked.
Chuuya groaned, "No, no it won't." he let out a sigh, pausing for a second, "You'll leave again
when you've had your fun."

Dazai's expression turned serious, "Truly, is that what you think Chuuya? That I'm using you
for my enjoyment?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Chuuya said nonchalantly.

Dazai grabbed Chuuya's chin, Chuuya glared at him, "I have not used you."

Chuuya pulled away from Dazai's hold, "You left."

"I had to." Dazai replied, "Needed to." he added under his breath.

"I know," Chuuya sighed, "So, leave, again."

"Chuuya..."

"I don't need to go through this again, Dazai." he turned away.

And Dazai did leave for that day, only to come back for almost every single day. Most of
them, they would not talk to each other, Chuuya would even not acknowledge his presence
and Dazai was more than fine with it. Some days Dazai would not show up, either because he
had to stay in his dorm in the Armed Detective Agency or because Chuuya himself was on
missions and would not be home.

But when at his house, he would sleep on the couch, if he was able to fall asleep, and leave
early in the morning. Chuuya was getting used to it.

Half a month into doing this, Chuuya was in the kitchen getting a cup of water when,
"Chibiii," Dazai whined from the couch, Chuuya rolled his eyes and did not respond, "Your
couch is uncomfortable." Dazai sat up to look at Chuuya behind the counter, "When can I
come to the bed as well?"

"How about you go back to your own house?" Chuuya remarked.

"But Chuuya's bed was always so comfortable." Dazai hummed.

"Back to ignoring you." Chuuya said before they exited the room.

Dazai laid back down on the couch with a smile, having gotten an idea.

The next day, Chuuya entered his house, only to see his couch empty, the usually there
bandaged man nowhere to be seen. He assumed that he had to stay at his dorm today.

But once he entered his bedroom, he saw him there. Dazai was sitting at what used to be his
side of the bed, a book in his hand, one Chuuya hadn't seen for years, A Guide to Suicide.

Chuuya groaned at the sight, Dazai looked up from his book, "Oh, welcome home Chuuya."
and then back down.
"Get out, Dazai." Chuuya said firmly.

Dazai looked up at him again and tilted his head to the side, he closed and place the book on
the bedside table, "I'm done being ignored, Chuuya."

"I don't fucking care what you're done or not with, asshole." he glared at him.

Dazai got up from the bed and walked towards Chuuya. Chuuya continued to glare up at him
as he approached, "Chuuya is being annoying."

"Then leave, you bastard! Why are you trying so hard to manipulate your way into my life
again?" Chuuya said angrily.

"Manipulate." Dazai stated.

"Yes, manipulate. That's what you've always done, from the very moment we met." Chuuya
seethed, "You manipulated the Sheep into thinking I'd betray them. You manipulated me into
joining the Port Mafia, even if that means I'm better now, you still forced me." Chuuya was
getting more and more aggravated, "When Verlaine was trying to kill the people I care about,
you manipulated the situation so that he killed that police officer. And, lastly, you
manipulated your way into my heart, leaving it in pieces after you left." he finished bitterly.

Dazai's expression was hollow, nothing was behind his eyes to express what he could have
been feeling, which only made Chuuya want to punch him more, "Yes, I did all that." Dazai's
voice was controlled, "The Sheep were using you. The Port Mafia needed an ally like you."

Chuuya lifted his hand, Dazai paused seeing Chuuya's hand ball into a fist. He glanced back
at Chuuya, "That officer was a minor loss."

He punched him. Dazai's face turned violently to the side, his cheek stung, his hair covered
his face, and he could hear Chuuya's ragged breath. He didn't move, neither of them did for
the longest of time.

Chuuya broke the silence, "Worst part of it all? In whatever twisted way, I understand why
you did all that."

Dazai slowly turned his face and fixed his gaze upon the blue-gray eyes of his soulmate. A
mixture of emotions run through them, the most evident being anger, "I love you." Dazai said,
his voice barely above a whisper.

It made Chuuya furious to hear, he wanted to punch him again, possibly even kill him to
make him shut up forever. To stop him from messing with his head even more and yet, that's
not what he did, because instead of cursing him out, kicking him from his house, from his life,
he grabbed him by his collar and brought their lips together.

It was a rough kiss, familiarity in their feel against each other present but their softness from
4 years ago seemingly gone, in its place was frustration, madness, anger, pain, need. It was a
need Chuuya wished he didn't feel. But over the years, it had piled up and up, and it broke
them, bringing them in a situation that he prayed wouldn't end up here every time, kissing,
madly, passionately, crazed, and in pain. A pain he wished wasn't so addictive.

Chuuya never understood it. Whatever the feeling was, love or not, he shouldn't have wanted
more, he shouldn't go back to what he knows will hurt him again. Yet, he does and he knows
Dazai is more than happy to accept him, causing them to continue a painful dance, making it
a drug neither could escape. Neither wanting to.

And so, they didn't break apart, at least not for long, only long enough for Chuuya to push
Dazai on the bed and then climb on top of his lap.

He wrapped his arms around Dazai's neck, burying them to his hair. Dazai went to kiss him
again only for Chuuya to pull hard on his hair, making his head lean back and the man groans
from pleasure and pain. Chuuya lowered his head to kiss his jawline and a bit of his exposed
neck.

"Chuuya knows what he's doing now." Dazai breathed out, his hands finding Chuuya's hips.

Chuuya leaned back and glared at him, he pressed his lips against him, a part of him wishing
he would shut up because he didn't want to think. He didn't want to think of what he was
doing, where this was leading to, what had been said before this started, nor all his 4 years of
experimenting in hopes of having Dazai begging for him like it was once promised to him.

He brought his tongue out and grazed Dazai's lower lip, permission to enter getting granted
the moment he felt the movement. Dazai was completely surrendering control for Chuuya to
consume, something Chuuya had not expected for he knew Dazai as someone who needs
control in his life, but was pleased with it.

Chuuya moved his hands to Dazai's clothing, starting to unbutton and remove whatever he
could without breaking their kiss. He could feel Dazai's hands get under his clothing, a cold
touch meeting his bare skin. He shivered and his hands paused momentarily before pulling
Dazai's vest off of him.

Dazai was soon shirtless, the only thing covering his upper body being his bandages. Chuuya
broke away from their kiss to stare at him, he traced a finger to the bandaged chest. He
glanced up at Dazai who was watching Chuuya's movement. Dazai moved his hand in a
feather-like way up to his spine, which made Chuuya arch to the touch.

Chuuya started moving his hips to create some friction and leaned in forward to softly trace
kisses to Dazai's jaw. He wished that Dazai had more skin, the things he knew he could do to
make Dazai lose his mind, the things he's unable to because of his bandages.

He pulled back and started unbuttoning his own clothing, removing every piece slowly and
teasingly in front of Dazai, whose eyes were only paying attention to everything Chuuya did.

Having taken off half his clothing, leaving his chest exposed, he got up from Dazai's lap. He
unzipped his pants and took them off, Dazai was about to do the same when Chuuya slapped
away his hands and did it himself, pulling Dazai's pants off of him, leaving them both only
with their boxers.
Chuuya pushed Dazai to lay back on the bed, Dazai happily letting him to. He leaned in to
kiss him again and lined his body so that their cocks could rub together through the fabric.
The sensation made them both moan and whimper against each other's lips.

Chuuya's movements became faster, harder, having to break their kiss until the friction was
too much or too little for what they were both truly craving. Chuuya leaned down and took
Dazai's boxers off, the man helping him by lifting his body momentarily.

He took the shaft into his hand the moment it was free of its restrictions and Dazai let out a
cry of pleasure. He slowly moved his hand up and down, he leaned closer and kissed the base
of the cock, bringing his tongue out to lightly lick him.

He let go of his erection and licked his away up, placing a kiss at the tip before he brought his
tongue out again to lick at the slit. It twitched at the feeling and Dazai squirmed, letting out a
mixture of a moan and a whimper.

Teasing the tip with only his tongue, it released pre-cum, which Chuuya would lick off right
way before finally, he took the whole shaft into his mouth.

Dazai bucked his hips up and let out a loud groan. Chuuya didn't move, he would only
occasionally swallow, making Dazai ball his hands to the sheets for he could feel Chuuya's
throat contrast against him. Once he moved, he went painfully slow, taking his mouth
completely off the cock before lowering all the way back down.

This went on for quite awhile, with Dazai having tried to thrust in his mouth but being
pushed back down by his hips as to not move. The pace had picked up eventually and Dazai
was close to release, "Chuuya..." he moaned out.

Chuuya went faster, pausing at the head, sucking at it, and going back down, Dazai was soon
gone, his vision turning white as he released inside Chuuya's mouth, who was sucking him
off for every drop.

He let go of him with a loud pop, he licked his swollen lips while watching Dazai come down
from his high before he leaned in to kiss him. Dazai wrapped his arms around him, tangling
his hands to Chuuya's hair. He tasted the saltiness in his mouth but he couldn't care less about
it.

They pulled apart and Chuuya sat back up, pulling his boxers off and sighing once the
restriction was off his erected cock. Dazai sat up as well and watched him before leaning in
and kissing Chuuya's neck, grabbing his shaft to pump it in the process.

Chuuya let out a moan, Dazai placing delicate kisses down his throat, stopping at his
collarbone and sucking on the skin, leaving behind red markings. The lower Dazai got, the
more Chuuya had to lean back and support his weight with both hands. Dazai traced with his
tongue Chuuya's nipples, swirling around the bud of nerves. He flicked it with his tongue
before lightly bitting down, while also putting a gentle amount of pressure on the tip of
Chuuya's cock, Chuuya let out a small cry and arched further back, almost losing his balance.
He did the same to the other nipple, bringing the same kind of reaction out of Chuuya.
Dazai pulled away and just simply pumped at Chuuya's erection, watching as the tip released
pre-cum. Chuuya, breathlessly made him stop, "Lay back down." he commanded, and so
Dazai did.

He watched Chuuya reach for his bedside table and open the drawer to pull out a bottle of
lube. Dazai laid on his back, he bent and spread his legs so to let Chuuya get in-between
them. Chuuya poured a generous amount of lube to his fingers and rubbed them together
before he rubbed some against Dazai's rim.

He slowly rubbed at the tight muscle, waiting for it to relax so he could enter his first finger.
He gently pressed the tip of his finger inside once the muscle was relaxed enough. Dazai
having felt the penetration, tensed up and let out a shaky breath.

Chuuya placed a kiss on Dazai's thigh, Dazai took in a few deep breaths, Chuuya felt him
relax and pushed his finger deeper. He waited a moment before he started thrusting the digit
in him. He flicked the inside of Dazai's walls and the man let out a cry. Chuuya did it again,
every time making Dazai squirm more under his touch.

The more the muscle relaxed the more fingers Chuuya added, right now in his third finger,
pushing them deep within him and moving them the way it had Dazai driven mad. The man
had his eyes closed, tears pricking at the corners, he fisted the sheets, and whenever Chuuya
would either brush at or hit his prostate, loud, lewd moans and whimpers would leave his
mouth, echoing around the room, his erection having mildly returned from the treatment.

Chuuya pulled out his fingers, and quickly kissed Dazai, giving him no time to whine about
the loss. In the corner of his eye, he saw the bottle of lube and grabbed it, pouring some on
his hand, with not being able to see, some of it falling to Dazai's stomach which made him
lightly shiver. He rubbed it to his cock, pumping it a bit to get it fully hard before lining
himself up to Dazai's entrance.

He went in slowly, Dazai gasped, making the muscles clench around Chuuya's cock, a jolt of
pleasure passing through his body. He breathed out, "Relax."

Dazai opened his eyes and stared at Chuuya, letting himself relax again, Chuuya pushed all
the way in, "Fuck." he gasped.

He waited for Dazai to adjust before moving as slowly as possible. Picking the pace the more
Dazai seemed to get used to it. The room was filled with loud moans escaping from both of
their lips.

The longer they went on, the harder and faster Chuuya pounded into Dazai, and the louder
Dazai would get, desperate cries leaving his mouth. Both were unaware as to when Dazai had
wrapped his legs around Chuuya's waist pushing Chuuya deeper into him.

"Chuuya..." Dazai moaned out, making Chuuya aware of his need. Chuuya brought his hands
up and wrapped them around Dazai's throat. They stared at each other, Dazai's out-of-focus
gaze telling Chuuya how far lost into the pleasure he was.
The hands around his neck squeezed, just enough to make Dazai's breathing pattern hard. His
thrusts continued to be rough. Dazai was struggling to breathe, his eyes growing wide. He let
out a ragged cry when Chuuya hit that sweet spot, his hold on the sheets becoming a death
grip. Chuuya would continuously hit that spot, Dazai's eyes rolling to the back, his back
arched and he gasped for air. He came for the second time, the sticky substance covering both
their stomachs.

Chuuya let go of Dazai's throat and Dazai coughed, shaking from the sensations his body had
felt and was still feeling as Chuuya continued to relentlessly thrust into him, chasing his
release, making Dazai unable to relax, his moans close to screams while his body shook
violently, trying to gain his composure. Chuuya pulled out and gave himself a few strokes
before also coming onto his hand and Dazai's stomach. The taller man watched him behind
blurry eyes, breathing heavily and still slightly shaking. Chuuya fell on top of him.

The moment Dazai's body had calmed down, he cupped Chuuya's face and placed kisses all
over it before landing again on his lips. They rolled to the side and were wrapped around
each other, simply kissing until they were breathless.

They pulled apart, Chuuya let out a sigh, "Don't say you love me."

Dazai's eyes slightly widen, "Chuuya—"

"Not when you can't promise to not leave me again." Chuuya closed his eyes.

Dazai didn't say anything, he simply stayed wrapped around Chuuya. They both fell asleep,
too tired and comfortable in each other's arms to deal with cleaning themselves up.

Waking up the next day, Chuuya had expected Dazai to be gone but instead, he was in bed
with him, still asleep. He tried to untangle himself from him, while doing so, Dazai stirred
and opened his eyes. He smiled and hummed, "Good morning, Chuuya."

"I'm still upset with you, asshole." Chuuya said, no real malice behind his words.

"If being upset with me leads to sex, then please be so."

Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Stay here." he got up, grabbed a pair of boxers from his closet, and
went to his bathroom.

He emerged from the bathroom a little while later, "There's warm water for you to bathe." he
lightly rubbed Dazai's back, "I don't have enough bandages for your body but if you get to the
dorms early, I'm sure you can fix yourself up there."

Dazai sat up and stared at Chuuya, "Chuuya is so caring even when upset with me." he said
amusingly.

Chuuya scoffed, "Get up, Mackerel."

Dazai chuckled, got up, and went to the bathroom. Chuuya started changing the sheets and
fixing up the room. Dazai came out of the bathroom after the was done, Chuuya noticed parts
of his body not being covered as usual because of the shortage of bandages.
He tried not to dwell on it, and simply walked into the bathroom, ignoring the man in front of
him.

Done with his bath, he came out seeing that Dazai wasn't around. "Dazai?" he called out but
got no reply. He noticed a note on his pillow. He went closer to it and picked it up, it read
'Will be back later tonight'. Chuuya sighed, somewhat relieved.

Later that night, Dazai laid on top of Chuuya's chest, the older man massaging his scalp. The
silence between them was comfortable, until Chuuya broke it, "Was it because of Oda dying
that you left?"

Dazai glanced up at him, "Not precisely," he paused, "Was the main one."

Chuuya could tell that Dazai was uncomfortable with the topic, which made him not want to
push it further.

"So," Dazai spoke again, Chuuya hummed in response, "Is Chuuya okay with me coming
over now?"

Chuuya laughed, "Even if I say no, you would still break into my house."

"Of course, because Chuuya is not being truthful whenever he said he didn't want me here."
Dazai said amused.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, the hand that had been massaging Dazai's scalp, pulled at his hair,
making him lift his head up, "Stop talking."

Dazai smirked, "Chuuya started this conversation."

"And now I'm ending it." he said before kissing him softly.

A few days later, the president of the Armed Detective Agency, Fukuzawa, and the boss of
the Port Mafia, Mori, got affected by a cannibalism ability. Upon trying to find the
information needed to help them in their situation, Dazai found the mastermind of the plan,
the rat or demon himself, Fyodor.

Doing so, he was shot out of commission. On the other hand, a letter with information of
Fyodor's plan had reached the Port Mafia headquarters and into Chuuya's hands.

The war between the two organizations had started, and Chuuya was soon out of commission
himself. Getting trapped in a mystery novel with Ranpo.

Fyodor was captured and the cannibalism plan falls apart, little did they know the incoming
destruction that was coming their way. But for now, they decide to celebrate their success.

Dazai was looking out into the horizon, a champagne flute in his hand. He heard footsteps
approaching him. Glancing side-ways he saw Ranpo, "Ah, Ranpo-kun, you're out of the
novel."

"It was easy to identify the 300 criminals." Ranpo said nonchalantly.
"I'm sure it was easy for you. You're the greatest detective here."

"That, I am." he turned around to leave, "Ah, your boyfriend is still stuck in it, I'm sure after
he's beaten everyone up, he'll be free. Should be soon enough."

Dazai hummed, closing his eyes, listening to Ranpo leaving. He reopened his eyes, soon
Atsushi joining him.

It was a few days later when, finally, Chuuya escaped the novel. Feeling exhausted, he went
home as soon as he was freed, not even bothering to report to Mori. Entering his house, he
saw Dazai's coat in the rack, meaning that the man was in the bedroom.

Placing his coat and hat on the rack, removing his shoes, he walks into the bedroom.
"Chuuya!" Dazai cheered the moment he walked in, "Took you long enough."

Chuuya did not respond, he just rolled his eyes. Dazai got up from the bed and came up
behind him, wrapping his hands around him and placing a kiss on his neck, "I know you're
smart enough to figure out who the 300 criminals are, yet..."

Chuuya sighed, "I got frustrated, okay? Plus, I didn't kill all of them."

Dazai chuckled and continued to kiss up Chuuya's throat. Chuuya leaned his head backward
to Dazai, letting out another sigh as his body relaxed against him.

He turned around to kiss him. Soon, Dazai had been pushed onto the bed, half of his clothing
off. Chuuya's eyes traveled down Dazai's body, seeing extra bandages in a specific place to
his stomach. He brought his hand there, lightly tracing the area.

Dazai sat up, Chuuya's focus shifting to his brown-red eyes. Dazai's gaze pierced him, Dazai
stared to the side where his arm was, Chuuya's eyes followed to where his were focused on.
Confused, he had not expected the man before him to start loosening the bandages there.

Chuuya's eyes widen, their focus changing back to Dazai's own, who was not looking at him.
He brought his hands up to stop him, "You don't have to."

Dazai glanced up, "I want to." he continued to unwrap them.

He stopped him again, he let out a shaky breath, "Let me."

His eyes piercing through him, they stared momentarily at each other, before Dazai nodded at
him.

He slowly unwrapped the bandages, his focus on the skin being revealed under it. It was
covered in scars, some old and some fairly new. He didn't know what he had expected under
them, and he hadn't been surprised to see the scars. He brought Dazai's hand to his lips,
tracing feather-like kisses to each scar, hearing Dazai let out a breath.

Pushing him back to lay on the sheets, he continued to unwrap him, the moment the skin was
exposed, he would plant kisses on it.
Dazai observed the movements, breathing heavily, shivering every now and then when
Chuuya's breath tickled his skin. Letting out soft, barely audible moans at the new sensations
to his body.

When Chuuya was, finally, thrusting in him, he was slow in his pace, in hopes to not re-open
or hurt Dazai who had been recently stitched up. Dazai had wrapped both legs and arms
around Chuuya.

Chuuya had littered parts of Dazai's body with red markings, to which Dazai had been more
than happy to receive. They shared open-mouthed kisses, moaning into each other's mouths,
getting closer to their release.

It was when he knew he wouldn't last longer than a few more thrusts that he brought his hand
between them and stroked Dazai's neglected erection. A few strokes and thrusts later, both
men came undone, Dazai arching his back and holding tighter onto Chuuya, moaning his
name.

They both fell limp, trying to catch their breaths, they didn't move.

Dazai was the one to make the first move, bringing his hand up to cup Chuuya's cheek,
making the redhead looked up at him. He gave him a peck and softly smiled at him, "What?"
Chuuya asked.

Dazai chuckled, "I'm happy."

Chuuya stared at him in bewilderment, "Something is wrong."

Dazai caressed his cheek, his eyes soft, "Nothing is wrong."

Chuuya frowned, "You.. you've never said you're happy and meant it."

Dazai hummed, "I know."

The days were passing, Dazai and Chuuya would spend almost every night together. It made
Chuuya believe that he could finally trust Dazai to not leave him again. To finally give in to
his feelings and maybe be happy, as much as that is possible with a secret relationship.

But, he should know better. Both should. Dazai knew it was coming, with only one day left of
his freedom, he prepared whatever had been necessary for his plans to succeed.

Only a few hours before everything went to hell, Dazai woke up next to Chuuya, who was
still asleep. He would usually get up and leave before Chuuya would wake up but today he
decided not to, not knowing when he'll see him again.

He tucked a lock of Chuuya's hair behind his ear, then cupped his cheek. The redhead stirred
in his sleep and opened his eyes. Dazai smiled at him and Chuuya smiled back, "You haven't
left yet?"

"You want me to?" Dazai chuckled.

Chuuya hummed, "No." he sat up, "Just surprised since you're usually gone before I wake."

"Well, I thought of staying this time." Dazai said, glancing down at Chuuya's lips and back up
his eyes.

Chuuya hummed again, he leaned forward and gave Dazai a peck before getting up.

Getting ready for their individual work Dazai turned around before exiting the door, "Well,
I'm leaving."

Chuuya chuckled, "Why are you saying it like that?"

"No reason." he smiled, "Can I have a kiss?"

Chuuya shook his head in amusement, taking steps closer to Dazai before suddenly pausing,
not too far from him but not too close either, he frowned, the sentence bringing back a
memory, "What is going on, Dazai?"

Dazai smiled, "Nothing—"

"Liar. You won't be coming over tonight, will you?" Chuuya asked.

"Chuuya—"

"How long will you be gone for?"

Dazai took in a breath, "I don't know."

"And you just weren't planning to tell me?" Chuuya snapped.

"You would learn, just not from me." Dazai said nonchalantly.

"Fucking hell. Fuck you, Dazai." Chuuya was irritated and yet, he took a few steps towards
Dazai, grabbing him by his collar and crashing their lips together.

Dazai brought both his hands to cup Chuuya's face, bending forward a little to ease their
height difference. They kissed as if it would be their last. As if, the moment they break apart,
they won't be able to breathe again. They desperately held on to each other until they were
forced to let go.

"If you die..." Chuuya glared at him.

Dazai smiled, "I'll be waiting for you to join me, then."

"Fuck you, bastard." Chuuya sighed, Dazai chuckled before giving him one last peck.

And the official hell began. Dazai was sent to prison, the Detective Agency was framed as
terrorists and was being chased by the Hunting Dogs. Their only refuge was the Port Mafia,
until it wasn't.
All the members were getting momentarily separated, each having to go through their own
hell in their situation, taking them awhile before they reunited. They tried to recruit what
they had thought would be an ally. But they were wrong, and that mistake resulted in a failed
battle on a boat bringing the destruction of the Port Mafia and the vampire infection. Most of
the members having now been turned. Dazai, who had been in prison throughout the whole
destruction, with his only companion being the man in the other cell, Fyodor, was, least to
say, bored.

"Haaaaa—I can't take this room anymore." Dazai whined, "It was fun in the beginning but,
now I'm so tired of talking with you." he paused, "Is it almost time to do 'that'?"

"What's 'that'?" Fyodor asked.

Dazai ignored him, talking to the guards, Fyodor asked again, "What is 'that'?"

Dazai turned to stare at him, "Who's going to die."

Fyodor's eyes widen before he smiled wickedly, "That is, a wonderful idea."

"Right? With the world's destruction, it would be hilarious when it ends up with only us
surviving at the end."

"I totally agree. So... it's about time to escape—" Fyodor's sentence got cut off.

"Fyodor?" Dazai asked confused at the sudden disappearance.

Suddenly the floor gave out on him as well, falling to the floor below, in front of him two
men, "Hahaha! The box escaping magic was a big success!" the man that spoke being Gogol
Nikolai.

An explanation later of what their situation would be, both Dazai and Fyodor injected the
poison in their bodies, the escaping game beginning. Having picked their items or in Dazai's
case, Sigma, they separated.

Dazai was not sure he liked where Fyodor's plan was going, having pulled a card that left him
with a bitter taste. A two-on-two battle, it was Dazai and Sigma vs Fyodor and... vampire
Chuuya.

He tried to not let that distract him, but his mind still partly paid attention to him. Hoping that
it'll be okay.

Being far away from them, he wasn't sure as to what was happening with Fyodor and
Chuuya, the only confirmation that they were making progress in escaping was the loud
noises of Chuuya's ability being used.

He had once said, four years ago, that everything worth wanting, anything he would never
want to lose, is lost the moment he obtained it. Deeming that pursuing it, is a worthless act,
its cost being to prolong his life of suffering.
He wishes he had realized sooner, realized the difference in the noise of destruction
happening not too far from him. Maybe then, he would have been on time. Maybe then, his
nullification would have saved him again, as it usually did. But no, he was late. Just like last
time, always late when it mattered. Had he been just a minute earlier, he wouldn't be dying in
his arms, coughing an unhealthy amount of blood on the floor.

The usage of corruption had canceled out the vampirism ability, "Chuuya..." Dazai said
shakily, bringing his hand to caress his cheek, "I'm here."

A shaky hand took hold of Dazai's wrist, "Please, hold on. I... I can probably get Yosano here
to save you, just—"

"Dazai." Chuuya coughed out, making Dazai pause, "Save... Yokohama."

Dazai sucked in a breath and whispered, "Please, don't..."

Chuuya barely managed to smile, "Is—" he coughed, "Is this how humans feel before they
die?"

"I wouldn't know." he sadly smiled back at him.

Chuuya let out a small laugh, it turning into a violent cough, "Osamu..." his name leaving
Chuuya's mouth for the first time, Dazai felt like he was the one dying knowing that he
wouldn't hear it again or whatever Chuuya would say next, "I love you." were Chuuya's last
words, a breath leaving his body, his grip on Dazai's wrist loosened and dropped.

Dazai slowly placed Chuuya's head down on the floor, closing his eyes. He got up, turning
around. Sigma looked over at him but what he was met with was only an empty vessel of a
human. Nothing had been behind his eyes, and it made Sigma uneasy. He made them
continue normally.

A year later, the Decay of Angels had been defeated. The Armed Detective Agency was back
in business, having been proven innocent. The Port Mafia was lifted off the vampirism ability
and was back to its normal operations. Yokohama was saved, everything at the moment being
calm.

Dazai was sitting on the grass, his head leaning back to the stone on his back, "I did it.
Yokohama is saved." a bitter smile on his face, "Chuuya."

He was at the graveyard, at the hill Oda's grave was, now Chuuya's right next to it. Chuuya's
grave, at the moment, had a single flower decorating it, a red camellia. "You know, that
flower that had been left at your office on your 18th birthday, was my doing." Dazai hummed.

"Dazai-san?" Atsushi's voice called for him from down the hill.

Dazai heard his footsteps approaching, "Ah, Atsushi-kun. What can I help you with?"

"Um..." the boy hesitated, "The Port Mafia came and gave us this." he said.
 Dazai turned around to see what the boy was holding. It was a hat, Chuuya's hat, "They said
to give it to you." Atsushi added.

Dazai took the hat from Atsushi's grip and looked it over, "Dazai-san..." Atsushi's concerned
voice grabbed his attention, making him look up at him, "You're crying."

He brought his hand to his cheek and sure enough felt the running tears there, "How weird. I
don't remember the last time I've cried."

Atsushi looked at him concerned, Dazai simply laughed, "You know what Atsushi-kun, you
have a soulmate, right?"

"I... yeah, two of them."

"Perfect." he laughed some more, "Don't waste your time in waiting. Don't do the same
mistake as me."

"You have a soulmate, Dazai-san?" asked the boy.

"Had." he smiled.

"What... what happened to them?"

"Oh, well, Atsushi-kun... he's right here." Dazai pointed at Chuuya's grave.

Atsushi's eyes widen, "I'm— I'm sorry... I didn't know."

Dazai shook his head, "You have a second chance. Don't waste it." his expression was
serious.

"Ye... yes, sir."

Dazai smiled, "Great! Now, let us go. After you, Atsushi-kun."

Atsushi hesitantly turned around and started walking away from the graves. Dazai waited a
moment after he was out of earshot. He placed the hat on the side of Chuuya's grave, a
bittersweet smile on his face.

"I won't be long... wait for me, my love."

Chapter End Notes

Credit/Inspo by this tumblr post (yes, I put the credits in every box)

I really hope you enjoyed this fic. Took me awhile to write. Hope I did a good enough
job.
Kudos and comments always really appreciated.

Thank you so much for sitting through to read this, bye. xoxo <3

EDIT: Next chapter is an alternative ending. <3

 Alternative Ending
Chapter Summary

"Chuuya... This is also my farewell to you. It's unfortunate that it had to come to this.
From the seven years since we met, all we've done is quarrel with each other. But, now
that I think of it, there were moments when our hearts reached out to each other, like–"
he paused, memories upon memories flooding his mind, "Sorry, there weren't any!" he
said full of smiles, "Well then, good-bye."

Chapter Notes

The alternative ending, events from ch101 being added.

The first paragraph is from where it picks up from the original ending and the changes
start from there.

Enjoy. <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Dazai was not sure he liked where Fyodor's plan was going, having pulled a card that left him
with a bitter taste. A two-on-two battle, it was Dazai and Sigma vs Fyodor and... vampire
Chuuya.

He continued normally, making his way to the control room while he had a conversation with
Sigma.

And by the time he had entered the said room, his trap had worked perfectly, the room filling
with water. He spoke onto the mic, first to Fyodor and then to his soulmate.

"Chuuya... This is also my farewell to you. It's unfortunate that it had to come to this. From
the seven years since we met, all we've done is quarrel with each other. But, now that I think
of it, there were moments when our hearts reached out to each other, like–" he paused,
memories upon memories flooding his mind, "Sorry, there weren't any!" he said full of
smiles, "Well then, good-bye."

He stepped away from the mic, a kind of melancholy decorating his face, quickly hiding it
when turning around to face Sigma, the smile full of lies there.

It had been one of those times where he wasn't sure of his plan, he predicts everything but
now he only had to pray that Chuuya heard him, that he broke through the vampirism, that
he'll survive.

He hated being unsure, he hated how he forced Chuuya into corruption but most importantly,
he hated how they both had no other choice.

Relief washed over his body the moment he heard the destruction behind him. A familiar
sound, the sweet, beautiful sound of his survival.

"What was that?" Sigma questioned next to him.

Dazai smiled wickedly, "A God."

His answer made Sigma more confused, "Let's just say, Chuuya is coming our way."

Sigma's eyes widen, "I thought they couldn't escape?!"

"Not with normal abilities, they can't." Dazai responded.

"What does that even mean?"

Dazai hummed, "It means, right now, a singularity, the fire God, Arahabaki is destroying
everything within sight." he paused to glance at Sigma's expression, "Chuuya's the host of
said God, meaning he freed himself."

"We need to get out of here." Sigma said terrified.

The moment he tried to make a move, the wall broke apart, dust lifting around the room.
Both Dazai and Sigma had to lift their hands to cover their eyes from it. In front of them was
Chuuya, red familiar markings covered his body, and droplets of water ran down his face
while blood came pouring out of his mouth.

Sigma moved to get away, freaking out with how Dazai stepped closer to the crazed man. He
winced once the sound of a punch echoed around the room.

Dazai's head turned violently to the side but as Chuuya's fist had made a connection to Dazai,
the red markings of corruption began to fade away.

He was caught mid-fall, being slowly kneeled to the ground while being held tight into an
embrace. Chuuya realized said embrace was Dazai, "Asshole."

Dazai chuckled, "I'm sorry."

Chuuya wished he had more strength left on his body, so as to yell at his soulmate for the shit
he put him through, but he was losing consciousness fast, "I really hate you." he groaned
before fainting.

"I know." Dazai whispered, sitting fully down on the floor, placing Chuuya's head on his lap
and caressing his hair out of his face.

"Dazai?" Sigma's voice sounded from behind him.

Dazai did not look back at him, "Continue down this route, take a left after 2 doors, and soon
you'll find your exit."

"What... what about you?"

Dazai smiled, "I'll stay here."

"But... the poison... you'll die."

He leaned back to the wall next to him, "Tell Fyodor once you see him, that he's won this
round."

Sigma sucked in a breath, understanding Dazai's intentions and accepting such decisions,
slowly leaving the man behind, alone with Chuuya.

He let out a breath, looking down at the passed-out man on his lap, "I never deserved your
trust, your forgiveness... your love." he sighed.

"Odasaku had once told me it's a blessing to be one of the few who knew who their soulmate
is, yet, I believe I've only been a curse to you." Dazai chuckled, "Maybe I'm selfish, I wanted
it all. And I'll leave you with nothing but pain."

"I wish I had a chance to hear you say my name once, but that'll stay part of my imagination."
he paused, feeling a lump in his throat, "Never would I have predicted our faithful meeting
that day when we were fifteen would lead here. I can confidently say it had been love at first
sight, though, that was because you're my soulmate."

He looked up, "I... I don't want to die." he choked, a few tears running down his eyes, "I want
to see where this goes. I wanted, this whole time here, to come back to you. I found my light
in the darkness and I want to stay with you." it hurt to talk but he knew he didn't have long,
"But I don't deserve such luxuries."

He paused, his vision blurry, "The world does not deserve you. It never will." his eyes slowly
closed, tiredness taking over him, "You'll be better off without me, you've always been."

He breathed heavily for a few minutes, "Nakahara Chuuya," he whispered out, "You've been
the best drug of my life. My soulmate. The love of my life."

Behind closed eyelids, a single tear fell from the left side of his cheek, and a small smile
decorated his face as he took his last breath.

He doesn't know how much time had passed when he finally woke up, his body feeling sore
from corruption. He groaned trying to move his body, looking up to see Dazai sleeping above
him, "Oi, Dazai."

He slowly sat up, stretching his body, "Dazai." he said again.

 The man before him did not respond, Chuuya glanced at him curiously, getting slightly
irritated, "Wake up, Mackerel." he lightly pushed him, Dazai's body slightly slacking.

The bells that rang inside Chuuya's mind were loud, he pushed and punched at Dazai's chest
multiple times, "Wake up Mackerel! Wake up!"

He repeated the words again and again, at some point changing to only calling out his name.
He knew what had happened but denial is a tricky thing, "Please! Wake up! Dazai, please!"
he pleaded, again and again, anger building up in his body.

"WAKE UP! Please, you can't be dead!" he didn't realize when hot tears had started running
down his cheeks.

"Bastard! I hate you! I hate you so much!" he yelled, still pounding at his chest, "You don't
get to die after what you did to me! You don't get to after what you said!"

"I mean nothing to you, right? We didn't have moments where we connected, it had been all
in my head, right?" questions that wouldn't get an answer, but Chuuya knew them either way.

"You fucking manipulating waste of bandages, how could you die before I could give you a
piece of my mind? Tell you how much I truly loathe you." Chuuya paused at that, his hands
fisted, his head lowered, pressing at Dazai's chest, "Tell you how much I hate you for making
me love you."

It broke him, a loud sob escaped his lips, "I never said I love you."

Everything, every single moment that he went through with him flashed before him, the tears
running down his face burning hot. His heart hurt like it had broken into pieces, "Come back
to me, please." he said in broken sobs.

Yes, his heart had been broken, the pieces never to be glued together again, he cried until his
throat hurt, until his eyes stung, until there were only hiccups and a shortage of air in his
lungs. He cried until he felt numb, body and soul.

Needing to get up and out of this prison, he placed a long kiss on Dazai's forehead before
slowly, painfully, getting up. "Goodbye, Osamu." he said, never looking back.

Chapter End Notes

I never said it would be a happy one.

Curse me in the comments all you want. xD

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