Good taste in stones

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/47883277.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
Relationship: Greg Davies/Alex Horne
Character: Greg Davies, Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
Additional Tags: Crack, Short One Shot, Prompt Fic, Humor, Weirdness, Surreal,
Wordplay, In-universe Taskmaster mythos, Minor spoiler for S15 (live
task), Is it fanfic if you write it about yourself? I don't know ask Alex
Horne
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Storytime with Little Alex Horne
Stats: Published: 2023-06-14 Words: 680 Chapters: 1/1

Good taste in stones

by WhenLifeGivesYouLemons

Summary

The sun was setting. The light was magical and the water lapped at the shore of the lake.

A series of fics based on some series 15 prompts.

Notes

This series is based on the four short stories read out by Greg during the live task of S15e6.
My continuation of these stories is gratuitously unhinged.

Seriously. You have been warned.

Thank you for the prompts, Alex.

See the end of the work for more notes

The sun was setting. The light was magical and the water lapped at the shore of the lake.

"Right," said Greg. "Get your clothes off. You're going in."

"I don't want to," said the scrawny, sausage-shaped man.

"I need you to retrieve the stone I just threw in," whispered Greg, noisily. "It's one of my favourite
stones, I think."

And so Little Alex Horne swiftly removed his jacket, and his trousers, and his shirt, and his plastic
shoes, and his long johns, and his socks. If it was Greg's favourite stone then it was Little Alex
Horne's favourite stone as well, and he desperately wanted to retrieve it. Greg had good taste in
stones, probably the best in all the stone-tasting community.

Little Alex Horne waded into the lake, past the rubber ducks that were sleeping, and the real ducks
that were bathing. There were pineapples and eggs and potatoes floating in the water, all things that
Greg had mightily thrown in with His mighty hand.

The water was level with Little Alex Horne's knees, and then his pants, and then his chest, and then
his head, and then Little Alex Horne had to swim, far out into the centre of the lake. The water was
cold but the hair covering his pencil-shaped frame and eraser-shaped head was thick and dense and
water-resistant like an otter, designed to keep him warm in moments such as this.

And when he reached the exact spot that the stone had splashed into the lake he dove like an otter
too, reaching out a grippy hand to grab Greg's stone that was magnificently glowing at the bottom
of the lake. He fought off fishes and seaweed and Al Murray as he swam triumphantly back to the
surface.

Little Alex Horne swam back to shore and slithered onto shore like a snake before rising to his
knees, presenting the stone in his hands. "Here is your favourite stone, Greg," he said, reverently
bowing his head.

Greg picked up the stone in His enormous paddle. "Did you retrieve it with your mouth?" He
replied.

"No, Greg, I used my hands," Little Alex Horne confided.

"I want you to retrieve it with your mouth," Greg commanded, and He mightily threw the stone
back into the lake with His mighty hand, and it splashed into the water in the exact same spot as
last time.

"Of course, Greg," replied Little Alex Horne, and he waded back into the water that first reached
his knees and then his pants and then his chest and then his head, and then he was swimming
again. Past the ducks both real and rubber and past the various edible floating items that Greg had
mightily thrown with His mighty hand. Little Alex Horne dove once more, unhinging his snake-
like jaw so he could grasp the glowing stone in his mouth. And then he once again valiantly battled
his way to the surface of the lake, fighting off different fishes and different seaweed but the same
Al Murray before emerging into the air.

As his limp and wriggly body took shape on the shore once again, Little Alex Horne looked up at
Greg who was looking down at him expectantly. He held out His giant paddle and Little Alex
Horne opened his jaw and plopped the magnificent stone into His magnificent hand.

"Here is your favourite stone, Greg," Little Alex Horne said, reverently bowing his head.

Greg put the stone in the pocket of his jacket. "It is my favourite stone," He replied, and He patted
Little Alex Horne's head. "And you are my favourite Assistant, Little Alex Horne."

Little Alex Horne sighed as Greg scooped him up in His massive paddles, and he rolled into a ball
and Greg kind of rolled him into His jacket pocket, the same one that carried His favourite stone.
 The stone was glowing like an ember and Little Alex Horne was warm and content. Greg had good
taste in Assistants, probably the best in all the Assistant-tasting community. And for that, Little
Alex Horne was extremely grateful.

End Notes

Sometimes I don't understand my brain and the things that fall out of it.

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