II. What are the adaptive mechanism use by the participants?

2.1 Acceptance
Participant 3 named Sandra (not her real name) identified herself a young girl at the age of 14
year’s old currently living in Barangay Ungap Sultan Kudarat Del Norte. She shared that she was
in the most difficult situation where her parents are separated. She said that acceptance is the
only way to revuild her relationship to her father although it hurt’s a lot. She quoted;
“Syempre matanggap tabon ka ama tabon kagina kinaduwaya nin, apiya pakabinasa bon
salekami tinanggap ko den sekanin ka ama ko bon kra ko ipapagilay eh problema ko apiya ka
probleman ako bon papedtadayin ko den apiya masakit bon a papedtadyin ko din di ko
ipapagilay sa kaped apiya ngin eh problema” (Of course, we can accept that because he is still
my father even if he is looking for another woman or married another woman. When our mother
died even though it was broken for us, I still accepted it because he is still my father, I don’t
show my problem even though it is very problematic that I just put it off even though it hurts too
much for me.)
Participant 6 named Esmail (not his real name) he is currently living at Barangay Ungap Sultal
Kudarat Del Norte. He was 17 years old and one of his adaptive mechanism is to accpet the
decision of his parents in the status of separation. He felt nothing but saddness. He quoted;
“Tinggap ko nalang ang naging desisyon ng parent ko kasi anong pilit ko sa
kanila na mag kaayos,walang nagyayari eh,nakakalungkot lang kasi ganon ang
nangyari pero tanggap ko na rin sa sarili ko na ganon ang nangyari sa
kanila” (I just accepted my parent’s decision because no matter how much I
tried to get along with them, nothing happened, it’s just sad that it happened, but
I also accept to myself that that’s what happened to them.)

Participant 7 named Kitty (not her real name) identified herself as a young girl currently living in
Barangay Ungap Sultan Kudarat Del Norte and her age of 15. She said, in order to cope she need
to accept everything that hurts her.Kitty decided to lived in her grand parents. She quoted;
“Tinanggap ko sa ginawa ko ka wata kami, ako pin a kapitas din silan. Diko din pagitungin eh
kinapitas ni ina ango ni ama ta ko pagitungin a kasiyahan ko bu. Siya ako bu naki tira ki amako
a lukes ango ki ina ko alukes sided kay ina ko bun since wata ako pin na like ako din migkaliben
sa lekelan” (I accepted it because I’m just a child, I was still young since they separated, I don’t
think about why my mother and father separated, all I was thinking about was how I could have
fun. I live here with my grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side since I was a child.)
Particiapant 15 named Lyka (not her real name) she was 16 year’s old currently living in
Barangay Ungap Sultan Kudarat Del Norte. She said acceptance is her mechanism to cope in the
difficult situation. She also added that, during separation she cried a lot and cannot accept the
separation pf her parents but as a time as go by she realized that she need to accept the reality.
“Sa totoo lang naalala ko noong bata pa ako nung nag hiwalay sila mama at papa na
naghiwalay  umiyak talaga ako ng sobra noon nung nalaman ko yun na hanggang ngayon
masakit parin at hindi ko matanggap pero nung nagkaisip nako unti unti ko ng tanggap na wala
na sila ni papa at mama” (To be honest, I remember when I was young when Mom and Dad got
divorced, I cried a lot when I found out that it still hurts and I can’t accept it, but when I thought
about it, I slowly accepted that Dad and I are gone and mom.)

Participant 12 named Ana (not her real name) she was libed in Barangay Ungap Sultan Kudarat
Del Norte and her age is 17 years old. She shared that the mechanism in parents separation is
acceptance and become strong at all times. She said, separation of parents is not easy there are
times that she felt sorry for herself because no one cares and also she felt unloved by her parents
as well as her relatives. She quoted;
Una hindi matanggap na wala na si ina at ama dahil ayokong maghiwalay sila pero noong
malaki na ako doon ko na natanggap sa sarili ko na wala na sila. Naaawa narin ako sarili ko
kasi kahit saan na ako nakikitira sa kamag anak ng nanay at tatay ko pero hindi maganda trato
nila sa akin”(At first, I couldn’t accept that my mother and father were gone because I didn’t
want them to be separated, but when I was older, I accepted that they were gone. I feel sorry for
myself because everywhere I live with my mother and father’s relatives even though they don’t
treat me well.)

Participant 4 named Nica (not her real name) she was living in Barangay Ungap Sultan Kudarat
Del Norte. She identified herself as a yoing girl at the age of 14. She was encountered parent
separation. Nica was struggling in their situation and also struggling finamcially and emotionally
because her father left them empty so that acceptance in her way to cope and moved forward.
She quoted;
Bata pa ako noon wala, di ko na dinidibdib na hiwalay na ang parents ko, tinaggap ko nalang
ang nangyare sa parent ko hindi ko pinapakita sa mga tao kung wala kaming pera. Tuwing
nakikita ko si ina nahihirapan sa tuwing wala kaming pera, tapos si ina nalang ang bumubuhay
samin naaawa ako sakanya minsan, sobrang hirap talaga kasi 10 pesos lang baon namin kada
araw sa school” (That time I was a child, I didn’t take it too much personal to me, I just accept
the situation of my parent I didn’t show to other that we are broke in terms of money. When I
saw my mother that is struggling to money, and only my mother is working to sustain the family
needs. It’s so hard since my mother give me 10 pesos in school and it’s hard.)

2.2 Support System from friends

Participant 9 Brayan (not her real name) he identified himself as a young boy living in Barangay
Ungap Sultan Kudarat Del Norte. Brayan’s coping mechanism is to go to his friend in prder for
him to forget his problems. And also Brayan said, being with his friends is an ecuse to slowly
forget the problem. He quoted;
“Tatagunok ako sa mga pakat ko da den kasi parang pinabayaa  ako niran den eh kasi apiya
ngin kapangini ko ah dala pag enjoy ko bo eh ginawa kosa mga tropa kasi libangan ko bo eh
tropa ko kasi daden kasi kna din manga kuwan eh lukes ko kembo sakit so lukes keo apo na
daden”.(Sumasama ako sa mga kibigan ko kase wala na silang pakialam sa akin parang
pinabayaan na nila ako, ini enjoy ko nalang nararamdaman at ang sarili ko mga tropa ko lang
kase ang libangan ko simula nung namatay yung lolo” (I hang out with my friends because they
don't care about me anymore, it's like they've abandoned me, I just enjoy this feeling and myself
because my only hobby is my friends since my grandfather died.)
Participant 1 named Baby (not her real name) 16 years old. She shared that hangging out with
friends can help during the difficult situation because her friends can do such thing to lessen her
problem and to escape for a while. She quoted;
“Minsan mga kaibigan ko ang mga nakakasama ko lalo kapag nalulungkot ako kahit papaano ay
may natatakbuhan ako na pwede mag comfort sakin kahit ganito ang sitwasyon ko may
nakakaintindi sakin” (Sometimes my friends are the ones I get along with especially when I'm
sad somehow, I run into someone who can comfort me even though I'm in this situation someone
understands me.)
Participant 5 named Sam he is 14 years old. Sam shared that he finds love and confort when he
was in his friends and according to him friends did not leave him during his painful
circumstances friends stays. She quoted;
“Masaya ako kasi kahit hiwalay ang parents ko may mga friends ako na
aalalay at susuporta sakin lalo na sa mga oras na kailangan ko ng comfort
kapag nalulungkot ako” (I'm happy because even though my parents are
divorced, I have friends who support and support me especially in times when I
need comfort when I'm sad.)

Participant 14 named Arsheiyyah she is 16 years old. Arsheiyyah shared that her friends helps
her to be happy despite of the problem she was encountered. She also added thatbeing in ger
circle of friends is a confort zone during difficult times. She quoted;
“Kapag may times na need ko ng kausap laging tinutulungan ako ng friend ko
kaya hindi ako nalulungkot kasi alam ko may kasama parin ako kahit
papaano” (When there are times when I need someone to talk to, my friend
always helps me so I'm not sad because I know I'm still with someone
somehow.)
 
Participant 8 named Leah a 16 years old currently lived in Barangay Ungap Sultan Kudarat Del
Norte. She was shared that her friends help her to be happy and confort her everythime she feels
unhappy. Leah said, friends are important as they listen and understand the heavy feelings and
sometimes her friends motivates her and inspire her to pvercome the challenges of life. She
quoted;
Sinasamahan din kasi ako ng bestfriend ko like kinakàusap niya ako palagi kasi siya lang yun
napagsasabihan ko ng problema eh, kahit papaaano ay natutulongan niya ako” (My best friend
also accompanies me, like he talks to me all the time because he's the only one I can talk to about
my problems, somehow, he helps me.)

2.3 Playing online Games and outdoor games

Participant 2 named Khair (not his real name) a 15 years old khair coping mchanism is to play
basketball to learn new thing in extra currecular activities to escape the sadness and to overcome
those problems. He quoted;
“Minsan dahil sa laro nakalimutan ko kahit papaano ang problema ko lalo na kapag naglalaro
ako ng basketball dahil naging libangan namin yun magkakaibigam eh hindi naman pwede na
ilugmok ko sarili ko dahil sa nangyare sa parents ko”(Sometimes because of the game, I forgot
everything about my problem, especially when I was playing basketball because it became our
hobby, and we were friends. I can't let myself down because of what happened to my parents.)

Participant 13 named Abubakar a 14 years old young boy. He shared that his coping mechanism
is to play sports such as basketball to avoid negative thoughts. And he added that playing can
help him to escape the painful situation he faced. He quoted;
“Naging libangan ko paglalaro ng basketball para kahit papaano makalimutan ko ang mga
problema sa bahay lalo na yung sa parents ko” (Playing basketball became my hobby so I could
somehow forget the problems at home, especially my parents.)

Participant 11 named Hanna she identified herself as 15 years old living in Barangay Ungap
Sultan Kudarat Del Norte. She shared that socializing playing volleyball with her friends is a
coping mechanism to cope slowly on the process of healing dealing with stressors or saddness.
She quoted:
“kahit papaano sa paglalaro ko ng volleyball with my friends medyo hindi na ako malungkot sa
paghihiwalay ng parents ko kasi nabaling na sa ibang atensyon ang sarili ko” (Somehow, when
I play volleyball with my friends, I'm not sad about my parents' separation because I've turned
my attention to other things.)

Participant 10 Aireen (not her real name) a 14 years old. She shared playing online games is her
coping mechanism to lessen negative thinking because everytime she felt and realize her
situation she get hurt so that she played in her mobile phone to escape and to protect herself to
certain mental health problems like anxiety. She quoted;
“Nililibang ko nalang ang sarili ko sa paglalaro ng online games dahil kahit papaano ay
nakakatulong ito sakin para hindi makapag isip isip ng kung ano saking sarili na makasakit sa
damdamin ko” (I just amuse myself by playing online games because somehow it helps me not
to think about anything of my own that will hurt my feelings.)