VOT E D S O U T H A F R I C A’ S B E ST W O M E N ’ S M AG A Z I N E

Miley
OCTOBER 2017

‘My Gum
Like You’ve
Got Stuck Never Seen
Her Before
in His
Junk’ THE
HAIR
ISSUE

?
Wear It
BGASM? YOUR Way
AD A BOO
VE YOU H
HA ’s a Thing!)
(Yup, It
WHY
DOES
SWEARING
‘I Live-Tweeted MAKE US
My Psychiatric
Treatment’ FEEL SO
EFFING
BE IN THE BILLIONAIRE CLUB GOOD?
4 Things the
Mega-Rich
Do That You
Don’t … YET www.cosmopolitan.co.za
CONTENTS
O C T O B E R 2 0 17

In Every Issue
8 From the Editor
126 Stockists
127 Horoscopes
128 COSMO Quiz: Do You
Need a Recharge?

ON THE COVER
12 COSMO
Confessions
You reveal your most
embarrassing, cringe-
worthy moments
54 Why Does Swearing
Make Us Feel So
Damn Good?
A f*cking fun
investigation
56 ‘I Live-Tweeted
My Psychiatric
Treatment’
How one woman
used social media
as part of her healing
80 #BlackGirlMagic

103
Your hair is powerful
– wear it your way
Have a Boobgasm!
CHILLIN’
They’re not just fun
bags for your man…
AT MILEY’S
116 Work Like
a Billionaire
HOUSE
AN ALL-ACCESS PASS TO OUR
How to get a piece of
the ‘1% club’ action COVER STAR’S FAMILY FARM
 BODY
87 How Do You Mend
a Broken Heart?
CAREER
Study Àndings that
might surprise you
& CASH
88 Make Yoga 111 One-Track Mind
More Fun Why mono-
Yoga + weights tasking is the
+ cardio = power! new multitasking
92 If Your Boobs 112 Good Day
Could Talk… Guaranteed
The girls have Meet the smart
some things to way to structure
get off their chest your day
114 ‘Know Your

LOVE LUST
Story – And
Believe in It’
Career lessons
99 Up Your
from a local

80
Big-O Odds
entrepreneur
Get your fair
share of bedroom

102
satisfaction
My Worst Sex
LIFE
Ever Was… 119 #PizzaGoals
When his Drool-worthy
penis ‘broke’ slices that are
CULTURE BEAUTY FASHION 104 Ambition or begging to be
shared … or not!
CRUSH
Love: Do You
25 Bounce Back! 35 Hey, Stud! Have to Choose? 122 Croatia: The
Great products You can be It’s complicated… 5 Instagram
15 The COSMO Guy to elevate your feminine and 109 Ask Him Posts Worth
Kyle Deutsch on curls game battle-ready at Anything Travelling for
dream collabs 26 Best from the the same time Advice from Give your followers
and side hustles Beauty Desk 36 A Perfect Match our guy guru serious wanderlust
16 My Cultured Life Our beauty team’s Spring trends
What’s hot in freshest Ànds meet clashing

YOU CAN WIN!

Rouge’s world 29 #AskThe accessories in an
19 Best October BeautyGirls unlikely love story
Ever! Your beauty 42 Fest Fanatics
What to do, questions Dance-friendly 118 Two nights’ stay at
MILEY WEARS: LINGERIE JEREMY SCOTT SUNGLASSES AND EAR CUFFS HER OWN

watch, read and answered threads for a luxury villa in Clifton

listen to this month in 25 words under R600
125 A Canon camera and lens
22 Does ‘Black or less 64 Flower Child
E A R R I N G S , S TA R N E C K L A C E , B R A C E L E T A N D R I N G S E L I M M O U Z A N N A R

Tax’ Create 30 Know-It-All Florals get

Dependency? Guide to… revamped with
Two women share Pro hair colour ’90s grunge
LET’S HEAR

90
their opinion at home 72 Be Seen,
Be Heard
Raise your
voice – and your IT FOR VAG
O U R C OV E R S TA R: fashion proÀle
PRIDE!
VOT E D S O U T H A F R I C A’ S B E ST W O M E N ’ S M AG A Z I N E

MILEY CYRUS
Photography Ellen von Unwerth
Miley
FEATURES
OCTOBER 2017

‘My Gum
Got Stuck Like You’ve
Never Seen
Her Before
Fashion James Worthington DeMolet
Hair Teddy Charles/The Wall Group Props
LEARN TO LOVE YOUR LADY PARTS
in His Evan Jourden Production 9iewÀnders
Junk’ THE Location Thompson Nashville hotel
HAIR
ISSUE Re-create her look with MAC cosmetics 50 9 Things We

?
Wear It Her face Strobe Cream (R490) Goldlite,
HAD A BOOBGASM
? YOUR Way
Studio Fix Fluid SPF15 (R460) N4 and All Worry About
HAVE YOUa Thing!) Extra Dimension SNinÀnish (R440)
(Yup, It’s
WHY Beaming Blush Her eyes Eye Brows Brow Unclench your Àsts
DOES
Pencil (R260) Spiked and Eye Pencil (R270)
‘I Live-Tweeted
SWEARING
MAKE US Coffee with Eye Shadow X 9 (R590)
and let go of your
My Psychiatric
FEEL SO
Treatment’
EFFING Amber Times Nine and Bold & Bad Lash hair – good news
GOOD? Mascara (R320) Bold, Bad, Black Her
is on the way
BE IN THE BILLIONAIRE CLUB

4 Things the
Mega-Rich
R34,90 (incl VAT) N$34,90 (Namibia)

10320
lips Retro Matte Lipstick (R240) Ruby
Do That You Woo Her top and jeans Jonathan Simkhai
Don’t … YET Her earrings and ring Selim Mouzannar
9 770256 028004
www.cosmopolitan.co.za

Her ear cuffs and necklace Miley’s own

FROM THE EDITOR
Love
Your Mind
‘H
ow am I?’ It’s a question
we should be asking ourselves
daily. World Mental Health Day
is on 10 October – a reminder
to address our wellbeing, raise
awareness and fight the stigma around
mental illness. I’ll start by telling my story.
I’ve suffered from anxiety since the age
of 12. At times, it’s been crippling. My first
panic attack happened in history class,
after the teacher reprimanded me with
what felt like unnecessary aggression. My
heart began to palpitate; my head felt like
it was on fire; I started hyperventilating.
My fingers tingled and my limbs went
numb. I was dizzy, nauseous and utterly
powerless over what was happening to
me. Then nothing, just darkness.
I remember opening my eyes to a nurse
sprinkling drops of cold water on my face.
From that moment, I started carrying a
brown paper bag with me. Every time I felt
the panic rise, I’d hang my head between my
knees and breathe into the bag. The nurse
told me it would help raise the CO2 levels
in my blood and stop the panic attack. It
worked sometimes. Other times, it didn’t.
Nearly two decades later, I’m sans the
paper bag – but the anxiety is still there.
BECOME PART CosmopolitanSA
OF THE TRIBE
I’ve learnt to live with it, and I can honestly
say the best coping mechanism I’ve found
What’s on
is to talk about it. Mental illness can be the
elephant in the room. Too often we don’t
My Radar
QUARTER LIFE POETRY
1
talk about our feelings or thoughts because
we’re scared or ashamed, but it’s important This illustrator’s Insta
feed is full of feel-good
to break the fear – because it’s not shameful
quatrains about your quarter-
or bad or weak. One in three South Africans life crisis. Enjoy her poems and
will experience mental illness in their artwork: @quarterlifepoetry.
lifetime, and tackling the taboo through
open, honest discussion is the first step
to a healthier you. On page 56, Tuks BCom
student Thabile Mpe tells us how she live-
tweeted her psychiatric treatment after
being admitted to a clinic for bipolar type 2
disorder. Mpe’s @MentalWealthZA Twitter
account injects realism into the day-to-day
of living with mental illness, helping her
in her own journey and providing support
to others experiencing similar struggles.
MAC STUDIO FIX
Our cover star Miley Cyrus has also
2
Battling to Ànd
been open about her mental-health battles. a foundation
‘I went through a time when I was really for your skin tone?
depressed. I locked myself in my room; my MAC Studio Fix Fluid
comes in 46 shades
dad had to break down the door,’ she said
– ask a makeup artist
in an interview. Like Mpe, Miley sees the in store to help you
importance of being vocal for others: ‘[My Ànd your match.
fans] know I’ve struggled with depression, Maccosmetics.co.za
and that helped them get over theirs. That
CRUMBS & CREAM
3
gives me a purpose – a reason to wake up
in the morning that’s bigger than putting I’ve developed an addiction to
these ice-cream sandwiches.
on my f*cking feathers and my little outfits.’ Find them in Illovo, JHB, Sea Point/
While it may seem scary to offload the V&A Waterfront, CT – and on
really important stuff in your head, Mpe UberEATS. Crumbsandcream.co.za
and Miley show us it’s not just about self-
help, but about help for those around you.
When I decided to talk about my anxiety
openly, the response was incredible. It put
an end to suffering in silence and made
me (and my friends) feel a whole lot better.
Sharing has become a way of survival for
me. If I can encourage one thing it would
be this: the next time a friend asks how you The Cooler
are, instead of a polite ‘I’m fi ne!’ give her
your truth – an honest answer. You might
find your mind a little happier afterwards
4 This great podcast series
discusses all things pop
culture, intersected with feminism,
politics, money and more. TrafÀc-
… and you might help the person you’re jam boredom sorted!
speaking to without even realising it.
P H O T O G R A P H Y N I Q U I TA B E N T O
Holly Meadows
Editor
holly@assocmedia.co.za
cosmopolitansa CosmopolitanSA cosmopolitansa
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 What’s the
last thing you
do before going
to bed?
THE COSMO
EDITOR TEAM
Holly Meadows holly@assocmedia.co.za ANSWERS:
EDITORIAL/ONLINE
DEPUTY EDITOR Sarah Browning-de Villiers sarah@assocmedia.co.za
MANAGING EDITOR Margot van Zyl
‘I binge-watch ART DIRECTOR Juan Geel juan@assocmedia.co.za
ART EDITOR Shirley Padi ‘I say goodnight
Diners, Drive-ins to my BF, then
And Dives. I’m CHIEF COPY EDITOR Ania Rokita Taylor
pretend to go
obsessed with ONLINE EDITOR Bianca Hartel biancah@assocmedia.co.za
to sleep … but
it. Obsessed CONTENT PRODUCERS Lisa Katz, Busang Senne
actually, I watch
with food, really.’ FASHION DIRECTOR Bev Nates bev@assocmedia.co.za YouTube beauty
FASHION EDITOR Cleo Marcopoulos tutorials.’
FASHION ASSISTANT Clare Robertson
BEAUTY DIRECTOR Juana Parathyras juana@assocmedia.co.za
JUNIOR BEAUTY EDITOR Aphiwe Khambule
BEAUTY WRITER Helen Wallace

COMMERCIAL
‘I apply Clarins INLAND SALES MANAGER Shanee Smart shanee@assocmedia.co.za
Double Serum COASTAL SALES MANAGER Storm Mascall storm@assocmedia.co.za
(R825 for 30ml) KEY ACCOUNT MANAGERS Alyson Brown alyson@assocmedia.co.za, ‘I Ànd that night’s
Carmen Clegg carmen@assocmedia.co.za, Petronella Mphahlele petronella@assocmedia.co.za, #SneakyTreat –
as part of my Robyn Woods robynw@assocmedia.co.za
night-time skincare usually chocolate.
SPECIAL PROJECTS KEY ACCOUNT MANAGER Niki Cassapis niki@assocmedia.co.za I have a sweet
regimen. Love!’
LEAD ADVERTISING CONTROLLER Shantel Peskin tooth!’
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 C ON F E S S IONS
YOU REVEAL YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING,
RIDICULOUS, WHAT-WAS-I-THINKING MOMENTS GOT A CONFESSION TO SHARE? E-MAIL US
AT COSMOPOLITAN@ASSOCMEDIA.CO.ZA

‘MY FRIEND AND

I WENT TO A PARTY
WHERE WE DIDN’T KNOW GUY CONFESSION
ANYONE. I FOUND A GUY I WAS ‘I had to use my ex’s car.
INTERESTED IN, AND I COULD I drive fast, so she told me not
to crash. Everything was fine
TELL HE FELT THE SAME. WE until I pulled out of a parking
STARTED KISSING … THEN spot and someone hit the car.
SOMEONE SHOUTED AT HIM, It left a small dent, and when
“YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!” her mom saw it, she started
I STOPPED RIGHT AWAY. yelling. I told her someone
I WASN’T TRYING TO BE probably hit it when my ex was
A CHEATER. I SAW A GIRL parked at the mall. Neither
CRYING AND REALISED SHE of us got in trouble.’ -DOMINIC, 20
WAS THE GF. I FEEL SO BAD
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING!’
-ISABELLA, 19

‘My boyfriend and I decided to

have sex while he was tied up.
Right in the middle, his phone
started ringing. We let it go to
voice mail at first but when it
started again, I hopped off to
see who it was. It was his gran.
His hands were tied, so I had
to hold the phone up to his ear
while he talked to her… Killed
the mood.’ -JENN, 21

‘I WAS DRUNK AT MY BOYFRIEND’S

APARTMENT; WE WERE WATCHING
A MOVIE. WE HAD RECENTLY
STARTED DATING, SO I THOUGHT
IT’D BE FUN TO SPONTANEOUSLY
GO DOWN ON HIM. WE PASSED
OUT AFTERWARDS. THE NEXT
MORNING, HE SAID HE FELT ‘I was dressing models for fashion week,
PHOTOGRAPHY ALLIE HOLLOWAY

SOMETHING STICKY AND when I walked in on one of the male models.

UNCOMFORTABLE… I’D HAD
GUM IN MY MOUTH, AND IT GOT
STUCK IN HIS PUBIC HAIR DURING
MY SPUR-OF-THE-MOMENT ACT.
I WAS HORRIFIED. HE HAD TO
GET RID OF IT WITH SCISSORS!’
-MAGGIE, 20
His robe was undone – he was totally exposed.
I’d had no idea he’d already started getting
undressed. I had to work closely with him for
two weeks after that, even though I’d already
seen him naked. Let’s just say our relationship
was pretty awkward…’
-DOMINIQUE, 23 ■

12 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

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P H O T O G R A P H Y WA R R I C K P H I L I P S H A N N O N / W O K S H O T S P H O T O G R A P H Y C O M P I L E D B Y L I S A K AT Z
KYLE DEUTSCH
THE
COSMO
GUY
THE BACK TO THE BEACH HIT-MAKER
HAS MADE A NAME FOR HIMSELF
OUTSIDE OF IDOLS – AND THERE’S
NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP
CULTURE CRUSH
On becoming an artist
‘I never thought of it as something
attainable. Growing up, I was too
Àxated on becoming a professional
footballer – there wasn’t space for
anything else.’
His favourite
music memory
‘Performing to 70 000 people
when I opened for Justin Bieber.’
The inspo behind
his music
‘Life and love stories – either
mine or someone else’s.’
His fave part
about making music
‘The feeling you get when music
speaks to you. It can show you
colours, scenarios, stories…’
Dream collaborations
‘I’d love to work with Sjava – his
melodic talent and true South
African Áavour is contagious.
Also Rihanna … the sound
of that collab intrigues me.’
If he wasn’t an artist,
he’d be…
‘A chiropractor – which I’m
actually still doing at the moment.’
Advice for anyone
considering side hustles
‘Stability should always be a priority.
I wouldn’t quit one career until the
other was a deÀnite – and Ànancially
rewarding. For some, ploughing
many Àelds for a while is advisable.
Everybody’s situation is different.’
His perfect date
‘I don’t think there’s a recipe.
The smallest moments can
make a date perfect.’ ■
Lonely Fool featuring
Kelly Khumalo is out now.
 I love
to wear
my hair
loose because
the big-hair
The TV series factor has
I’m obsessed always been
my thing. You
with is can’t miss me!
This Is Us. The tightknit
family in the show reminds
me of my own.

The last film

I watched #HairGoals
was the NetÁix sci-À Janet Jackson
thriller iBoy. It has a and Diana Ross
great story line and are my hair icons
stars Maisie Williams – just think big!
from Game Of Thrones.

MY CULTURED LIFE
Deko Barbara-Jessica Wedi, aka Rouge, is a 25-year-old hip-hop artist, rapper and actress
you NEED to know about. Find out what’s hot in her world right now

PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES COMPILED BY SARAH BROWNING-DE VILLIERS

RN I’m
I get my reading
daily news The Alchemist
by Paulo
fix through Coelho.
social media. The I’m actually
Shade Room is my rereading it
favourite go-to – it because it’s
gives you news that such a wonderful journey to be
people tend to on. It’s a reminder to follow
overlook, which I like. your dreams, no matter what.

Rouge’s album The New Era Sessions is

out now, accompanied by a short Àlm of
the same name. Follow her on Instagram
@rouge__1 and Twitter @Rouge_Rapper
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O ppi Koppi ( Nor t h a m,
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t wo of ou r bigge s t
fe s t iva l s w i l l fe at u re
ROCK OUT s t el l a r p er for m a nc e s
Bastille are back, hitting up by Bl ack C of fe e,
Cape Town’s GrandWest on T wo D o or C i nem a
4 October, Durban’s Botanic C lu b a nd F lu me.
Gardens on 6 October and Rockingthedaisies.com;
Jo’burg’s Emmarentia Dam Oppikoppi.c o.za
on 7 October. Tickets from
R350 at Webtickets.

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OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 19

 BLADE
RUNNER 2049
With Ryan Gosling
starring as a
futuristic cop, this SPOTLIGHT ON…
follow-up to the
sci-À classic is The Mental
Terminator meets
Drive meets hot.
Health
Awareness
Month
Educate yourself with
this quick overview
on mental illness from
clinical psychologist
Tamsyn Manuel.
Then turn to page
THE SCOOP 56 for our feature
G et you r ‘I Live-Tweeted My
week ly f i x Psychiatric Treatment’.
of loca l celeb
news, cou r tesy
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE
VAYA
WATCH of K ha ny i
M bau a nd
her red-ca r pet-
BETWEEN BEING SAD AND
DEPRESSED? ‘Depression
Nigerian Àlm-maker
Akin Omotoso ready c rew, on is a mental illness. Sadness
artfully threads Wed nesdays at is an emotion we all
together three 9pm on SA BC3. experience; it’s temporary
stories of small-town and fades with time. When
travellers overwhelmed feeling sad becomes more
by the big-city allure intense and includes
of Jo’burg. feelings of helplessness,
hopelessness and
KINGSMAN: worthlessness, you may
THE GOLDEN need to see someone.
CIRCLE Sadness is one symptom
Channing Tatum of depression.’
and Halle Berry add
superstar power to WHAT ARE OTHER
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20 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

 READ
1 SOFTNESS
OF THE LIME
1

BY MAXINE CASE
Lena, who’s a slave,
yearns to go home to
Madagascar – and her
master Geert, a married
man who’s drawn to her.
(R206 at Takealot)

2 FINAL GIRLS
BY RILEY SAGER
Stephen King dubbed
SPOTLIGHT ON… this novel about three 4 THE SEVEN HUSBANDS
women with a seriously OF EVELYN HUGO BY
Kiiara grim bond the ‘Àrst TAYLOR JENKINS REID
The 22-year-old, who great thriller of 2017’. An old-Hollywood tale of a
raced up the charts So yeah, it’s good. reporter and a silver-screen
(R341 at Takealot) legend. (R339 at Takealot)
with her hypnotic
single Gold, has 3 MADE FOR LOVE 5 FITNESS JUNKIE
also supported The BY ALISSA NUTTING BY LUCY SYKES
Chainsmokers on tour. Embrace the absurdity AND JO PIAZZA
in this crazy romp Join Janey as she seeks
ON THE FIRST TIME featuring a woman her best life in this spot-on
SHE HEARD HERSELF
ON THE RADIO
‘I was at my friend’s
LISTEN
on the run from
her insane husband.
(R354 at Takealot)
spoof of cult-like workouts
and woo-woo gurus.
(R743 at Takealot) ■
house in LA, and his
roommate at the time
called him and said,
P H O T O G R A P H Y G E T T Y I M A G E S , A L L I E H O L L O W A Y, R E X F E A T U R E S , I S T O C K P H O T O . C O M , I N S T A G R A M C O M P I L E D

5
B Y S A R A H B R O W N I N G - D E V I L L I E R S P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S S T O C K I S T S O N PA G E 1 2 6

2 4
“You’re not gonna believe
this. Gold is playing.” We
were just silent while we 3
listened. Moments like THE NEW
that make me look back ERA SESSIONS
and smile – so much Hip-hop muso
innocence. It felt like (and our new girl
nothing else mattered.’ crush) Rouge’s debut
album is a powerful
EARLIEST CELEB CRUSH showcase of her talent
‘Eminem – his debut and attitude.
DOEXPZDVWKHÀUVW
CD I ever listened to.’
HER FANTASY MUSIC-
FESTIVAL LINE-UP
‘Eminem, Cruel
Youth, Ciara, Lil Aaron,
Linkin Park, Rihanna,
Ariana Grande, Young
Thug, Bring Me The ROSE GOLD
Horizon, Tinashe Hot off the heels of
and 3 Doors Down.’ Shekhinah’s debut single
Suited and lending her
ON HER IDEAL DAY OFF vocals to Sketchy Bongo’s
¶<RXZRQ·WÀQGPH Let You Know, Rose Gold
I’d disappear and promises smooth Afro-
throw my phone pop vibes that you’ll
into the ocean.’ chill to all summer.

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
 Does

‘BL AC K
TA X’ Cre ate
end ency?
Dep
According to a Huff Post snap sur vey, 37% of black S outh A fr ica ns
spend up to 25% of thei r sa la r y on ‘black ta x’. Com monplace i n ma ny
com mu n ities, ‘black ta x’ ty pica l ly ta kes the for m of money pa id month ly
by professiona ls to suppor t their family. It a ffec ts Mil lennia ls, too: a Student
Vi l lage sur vey (i n wh ich 6 0% of respondents were fema le) concluded that
students ‘ feel a responsi bi l ity to help [thei r fa m i ly]. T he rea l ity that thei r
money is not a l l thei rs creates a d istressi ng feel i ng that thei r d rea ms of
fi na ncia l i ndependence have been delayed’. S o is ‘black ta x’ doing more
har m than good? T wo w riters weigh in on the debate

Yes BUSANG SENNE
COSMO content producer
‘The conversation around “black
tax” is a textured thing, and it
feels taboo to talk about. But it
is time to ask: when is it okay
to say no to the family tithe?
‘Earning in your black family?
There’s an expectation of being
pious: a type of servitude that demands
you to juggle multiple roles, from nurturer to family savings
account. You’re viewed in your family as a source of pride
– but also as a provider. That creates a relationship where
reluctance to contribute via “black tax” is met with your
own guilt and the likelihood of being called selfish. Even if
you’re not the breadwinner, there’s an obligation to support
in some way: an undercurrent of ubuntu that requires
generosity, often regardless of what you can actually afford.
‘There are many ways black professionals are still
experiencing oppression from the past – “black tax” is one
of them. Mothers and fathers pass on; cousins and siblings
are born. There are mouths to feed and minds to educate,
and the reality for most black families is that there aren’t
enough resources to fund these responsibilities. Structural
inequality like unemployment and the overall inaccessibility
of opportunity has implications when you’re trying to break
the cycle of poverty for you and your next of kin.
‘Such is the domino effect of “black tax”: one generation
of providers and dependents affecting the next. It’s one
thing to provide for your family; it’s another when distant
relatives are relying on you for survival. It leaves little room
for cultivating your own future. And the obligation of “black
tax” can quickly turn into emotional manipulation.
‘Actress Celeste Ntuli is on a crusade across the country
with her comedy show Black Tax. Ntuli’s learning that she’s
sharing? Being able to say no. Redistributing your hard-
earned income into the support of your family doesn’t leave
much for your own necessities (vital to bettering your life
and empowering your next generation): investments, buying
a car or a home, having savings, insurance or medical aid.
‘And the emotional labour of keeping everyone afloat
is damaging. As black women, we’ve normalised working
ourselves into a state of exhaustion where our mental health
is at stake because we have to stay strong for our families.
Because we must provide. Because we can’t say no.
‘“Black tax” is a ritualised form of co-dependency. Am
I saying it’s damaging by its very nature? No. I’m also not
saying there aren’t valid reasons it’s existed for as long as
we can remember. But I am saying that – like Celeste Ntuli
– we owe it to ourselves to learn to say no. There has to be
a more sustainable way of empowering our communities.’
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
#REALTALK
No BUSISIWE GUMEDE
Journalist and broadcaster, co-host
of eNCA’s Back Chat TV show
‘The story of my older sister
Ntombiyakise Makamo was
instrumental in the foundations
of me forming my identity.
She experienced first-hand the
hardships of trying to break the cycle
of poverty in our family. She was unable to
finish high school – largely because my mother, restricted by
the financial situation at home, also couldn’t close the chapter
of her schooling years. Her parents – poor and drowning in
oppressive apartheid laws – couldn’t afford the overwhelming
financial burden of putting a child through school. That vicious
cycle, my sister always tells me, would have continued to
play out in my life had she refused to pay “black tax”.
‘Apart from the tuition fees and textbook allowance
I received monthly from the National Student Financial
Aid Scheme, a large portion of my sister’s salary covered
my basics: food, transport fees and toiletries. Her entry-level
salary from working as a call-centre agent required creative
budgeting and lifestyle adjustments. She was determined to
produce the family’s first female graduate. And she did. Her
sacrifice and determination inspired me to persevere and
work hard at university. My sister’s monthly contribution
empowered me to acquire what she was fundamentally
denied: an education – the single and most important key
to breaking the cycle of poverty. That’s why I would never
deny that I’m a product of my sister’s “black tax”.
‘Naysayers insist that it perpetuates a culture of
dependency. Well, if my story is anything to go by, “black
tax” encourages the opposite: a sense of responsibility and
self-worth. Pessimists believe this form of duty cripples the
hopes and dreams of young breadwinners. But I see “black
tax” as an act of ubuntu – the spirit of togetherness that
makes us truly African. It is deeply rooted in our blackness.
Those who refuse to pay their regular tithe are missing
a great opportunity to create an environment in which
their family members can extricate themselves from
extreme poverty and inequality.
‘That said, “black tax” can only work if the breadwinner
has an honest discussion with their family about how much
they are able to contribute per month. We all have those
manipulative family members who will keep asking for
money even after receiving their allowance, and this
can amount to emotional blackmail.
‘I will forever be indebted to my sister. Never has she
asked me to “repay” her. I’ve decided to show my gratitude
by taking care of my niece. And no, I’m not paying “black
tax” – I’m simply paying it forward.’ ■
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 23
 EDITED
BY J UA NA
PA R AT H Y R A S

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P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E S

5
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SCHWARZKOPF BlondMe
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COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 29

 Know-It-All
Guide to ... EXPERT
COLOUR TIPS
Pro Hair TOUCH UP ROOTS ONLY – the
fresh, untouched regrowth.

Do
Repeatedly dyeing mid-lengths

Colour
and ends (the oldest, most
damaged areas) will leave
hair dry, brittle and too
dark from colour build-up.

at Home
Use conditioner to shield
those areas.

DIY dye-job secrets that’ll save you tons

of time – and cash!
BY MADDIE ABERMAN

WORK IN SECTIONS. Clip up one

in front of each ear and two
in the back, then let one down
at a time for even application.

BUY TWO BOXES FOR LONG OR THICK

HAIR. You can’t go to the shop
if you run out mid-application!

START WITH UNWASHED HAIR.

Don’t

Product residue can reduce

absorption, so wash with
shampoo beforehand.

TRY TO GO TOO LIGHT. Any more

than four or five shades needs
a professional, says colourist
George Papanikolas.

SKIP THE PATCH TEST. ‘Dye a few

strands to check the tone and
how they absorb colour,’ says
Daniel Moon, consulting
colourist for L’Oréal Paris.

WASH HAIR IMMEDIATELY. Wait

at least 48 hours. ‘It gives
the cuticles time to close so
colour won’t wash out,’ says
colourist Meri Kate O’Connor.

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

DECODE THE BOX
PERMANENT
This dye opens the cuticles
(hair’s outer layer), pushing
colour deep into the cortex.
It lasts indefi nitely, but can
fade or oxidise. The downside?
The stronger chemicals make
it more damaging.
DEMI-PERMANENT
It deposits colour to the cuticle
(but not to the cortex) and
fades in six weeks, says Clairol
colour director James Corbett.
BEAUTY
HAIR-
COLOUR
HACK
Drop a few strands of
your hair into a glass
of water. ‘If they sink,
you have hair with high
porosity, and it will
absorb colour quickly,’
says Corbett. If they
float, your nonporous
hair might need a bit
more time to process.
Either way, check your
hair throughout.

SEMI-PERMANENT
‘This sits on top, staining hair,’
says O’Connor. It can refresh
tones or darken hair, and washes
out in four to 12 shampoos.

GARNIER
Nutrisse
Crème
Permanent
Nourishing
Hair Colour
(R110) Baby
Blonde
NUDE
The latest colour craze (as seen
on Cara Delevingne, above)
combines both warm and cool
tones. It works on just about
everyone, says Papanikolas.
COOL/ASHY
A colour with green, blue or
violet undertones. It absorbs
light rather than reflects it,
so while you’ll see less red,
‘Your hair may lack lustre,’
says Marko Tomassetti, a
colourist at Serge Normant
at John Frieda Salon.
BLEACH
The fastest – and most
damaging – way to lighten
hair. Peroxide lifts the cuticles,
and the bleach diffuses the
pigment. The longer it stays
TIME TO
on, the brighter you’ll be. TONE UP!
Colour-correcting
shampoos and conditioners
are key to cancelling out
unwanted tones, but the
GLOSS popular purple version
It refreshes oxidised or faded
works only if you’re blonde.
colour, and adjusts tones with
(Purple cancels out yellow
a sheer, light deposit of colour,
on the colour wheel.) If
says Papanikolas.
you’re brown and looking
rusty, reach for a blue one.
JOICO Color Balance
Blue Shampoo (R298)
WARM/GOLDEN LAKMÉ TEKNIA Ultra Clair
A colour with an undertone Shampoo (R365)
of red, orange or yellow.
While too much warmth
equals brassy, ‘Warm
shades reflect loads of light,’
says Tomassetti.

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 31

 BEAUTY
BEST COLOURS FOR
YOUR SKIN TONE
COOL dark hair colours –
UNDERTONE anything from a rose
Colours such as white gold to a dark brown
blonde or platinum will brighten your face.
blonde will best suit
a fair complexion. NEUTRAL
If you’re more daring, UNDERTONE
try deep mahogany to Don’t go too light
highlight your features. or too dark – it will
make your skin tone
WARM Áat. A rich golden
UNDERTONE brown or cinnamon
If you have a yellowish will best complement
undertone, pair it with your complexion.
3 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR
COLOUR LAST (AND LAST!)
LAKMÉ TEKNIA Color
Stay Conditioner 1 TINT
(R355) AS YOU GO
Products with built-in
pigments keep colour
vivid in between dyes.
2 DODGE
H20 DAMAGE
Chlorine in your water can
dry out hair and cause fading.
Use a Àltered showerhead
to reduce the exposure.
3 WASH
AND PROTECT
Coconut milk and coconut oil
in OGX Nourishing + Coconut
Milk Shampoo and Conditioner
(R170 each) will keep hair
healthy and strong.
32 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017
L’ORÉAL Magic
Retouch Instant
Root Concealer
Spray (R136)
Black
Eeek!
You
Spotted
a Grey?
Whatever you do,
don’t pluck it – and
not because it will
grow back threefold.
(It won’t.) Greys are
wiry and don’t lie
flat, so the shorter
they are, the more
spiky and obvious
they become. Erase
them in seconds with
a touch-up spray that
airbrushes grey away.
We love the easy-to-
use L’Oréal Magic
Retouch (above) Taste the
P H O T O G R A P H Y J E M M I T C H E L L , A L L I E H O L L O W A Y, G E T T Y I M A G E S , I S T O C K P H O T O . C O M , A N D R E W E P E N E R / P I X E L L O U N G E
– or try a powder
(new and convenient) Rainbow
such as Everpro Brights and pastels are
Beauty Zero Grey no longer a blondes-only
Root Touch-Up thing. The latest are so
Magnetic Powder vivid, they work on dark
P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E S
hair – no bleach required!
(R225) or Everpro
Beauty Back 2
Flirt with a fierce look by
using Schwarzkopf Live
Blonde Temporary
Root Touch-Up
Color XXL HD Hi-Definition
Magnetic Powder
Ultra Brights Semi-
Permanent (R95) Electric
(R225) Light Blonde. Blue or Schwarzkopf Live
Color XXL HD Hi-Defi nition
Intense Colour Permanent Coloration
(R95) Red Passion. To really commit to
the hair colour, use EVO Ritual Salvation
Repairing Conditioner (R360) – it’ll protect
the colour while strengthening hair.
Fix a Faux Pas
Hating on your hue? A clarifying shampoo
with strong detergents will fade semi-
permanent jobs fast. For permanent
colour, use a shampoo that contains
sodium hydrosulphite to help strip out dye
and return colour to its most natural shade. ■
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
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 EDITED BY CLEO
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T O P J O H A N N A O R T I Z S H O R T S W I L D F O X H A T, I N I T I A L N E C K L A C E , B E L L Y R I N G A N D R I N G O N L E F T H A N D M I L E Y ’ S O W N
E A R R I N G S A N D S TA R N E C K L A C E S E L I M M O U Z A N N A R B R A C E L E T A N N I N A V O G E L R I N G S O N R I G H T H A N D S H AY
 COVER STAR

Full name:

The three words that best describe

my upcoming album:

A weird thing that happened

but when MILEY CYRUS needs during the songwriting process:

a reset, she decamps to her

childhood home just outside
Nashville. On a brief break
between performances and
finishing her new album, the
24-year-old invited COSMO
over for a glimpse inside the
The hardest part about recording it:
place that helped shape the
megastar. She gave us an all-
access pass to the family farm
(her mom and dad – Tish and
Billy Ray – were also hanging
out), her girlie, bubblegum-pink
bedroom and even her tween-
age diary. Read on to find out My saddest moment in the last year was:

what the outspoken activist

and current judge on The Voice
has to say about life, love
and marriage – in her But my happiest moment was:
own uncensored words.

One thing in my old room that I’ll never get rid of:

OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 45

 The weirdest thing in my childhood home: Eff/marry/kill – The Voice coaches:

The best part about having Dolly Parton

as my godmother:

ADAM LEVINE JENNIFER HUDSON BLAKE SHELTON

If I were auditioning on The Voice, I’d pick

as my coach because:

My biggest source of anxiety:

WITH
ALICIA KEYS

What helps me de-stress:

My pre-show pump-up ritual:

The last website I visited:

One thing I’ve learnt about marriage
from my parents:

My mother hates it when I:

The best meal I’ve had in the past year:

My favourite look from a red

carpet in my career thus far:

My least-favourite look:

My go-to beauty hack:

46 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017

 T O P A N D S H O R T S H O U S E O F H O L L A N D H A T, E A R C U F F S , B E L L Y R I N G A N D R I N G M I L E Y ’ S O W N E A R R I N G S A N D S T A R N E C K L A C E S E L I M M O U Z A N N A R

4
you can’t take the

ready to rock. She

her for Halloween.

people dress up as
Nashville out of the
out of Nashville but

and boots and she’s

You can take the girl

girl. Give Miley a hat

says she loves it that

Located on 200
hectares of land,
the Cyrus farmhouse
is special to the family.
Dad Billy Ray had it
blessed. Here, Miley
runs around with her
sister Noah’s dog,
Leo – back home in
Los Angeles, she has
seven pups of her own.

DRESS TOPSHOP BRIDE JEWELLERY SELIM MOUZANNAR

 I always feel at home with:

One of my proudest career moments:

What drives me to advocate for LGBTQ rights:

JANE GOODALL

If I could have dinner with anyone, I’d pick:

ELVIS PRESLEY

I’d love it if no-one ever again asked me:

JOHNNY CASH

My biggest hope for Noah’s career:

A D D I T I O N A L P H O T O G R A P H Y G E T T Y I M A G E S , I N S TA G R A M H A I R T E D D Y C H A R L E S / T H E WA L L G R O U P

WITH SISTER
NOAH
PROP STYLING EVAN JOURDEN PRODUCTION VIEWFINDERS HOTEL THOMPSON NASHVILLE

Advice I live by:

I feel most fearless when:

OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 49

 9
THINGS
WE
ALL
WORRY
ABOUT
Unclench your Àsts, slow
your breathing and let go
of your hair. We’ve got good
news for you worry warts
– we’re all doing it!
BY SHARI NEMENTZIK

Self-conscious all the time?
Career conundrums? How
do we know? We asked
more than 500 COSMO
readers what their greatest
worries are, and it turns
out we fret over the same
things. We’re a worried
bunch – but enough is
enough, and now we’re
calling time on this toxic
relationship. We gathered
a team of experts to help
silence that inner voice
once and for all, and bust
our top nine concerns.
1 YOUR CAREER
A whopping 90% of you
are losing sleep over your
career, with 56% revealing
you think about it all the
time. Talk about work
zapping your energy!
Whether you’re worrying
about job security, your
salary or whether or
not you’re in the right
job altogether, the best
thing you can do is remind
yourself that you are not
your work. ‘We all want
to achieve the best we
can, but sometimes we
raise the bar too high,’
says Dr Stephen Carbone,
former GP and now a policy
and evaluation research
leader with anxiety-
support organisation
Beyond Blue. ‘I’m not
saying people shouldn’t
try to excel and do their
best – but if you put all
your eggs in that basket
and your identity depends
on you being this successful
person, and you’re not going
to value yourself unless you
are the CEO of the biggest
company in your country,
there’s a risk you’re going
to fail – because there’s
only one!’ Carbone says
to always ‘Give it a go
and give it your best
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
GOOD ADVICE
– and if you succeed, pat
yourself on the back. But if
you don’t, you tried. Failure
is not a reflection of ability
or personality; it’s just the
way the world works.’
To keep your worries
at bay, do something small
every day for your career,
even if it’s as simple as
updating your CV or
attending a seminar. ‘You
are many things, and what
you do as a job is just one of
those things,’ says Carbone.
2 YOUR MONEY
Seventy-three percent
of you are worried about
your debt, but your lack
of savings shouldn’t be
a constant migraine if
‘You are
you start tracking your
spending. ‘If you start to
many
be aware of your finances,
then you can change them,’
things,
says author of Getting Out
Of Debt Joyfully Simone
and what
Milasas. ‘Don’t be afraid of
your bills and of looking at
you do
what’s coming in and what’s
going out – you have to look as a job
at it and be aware of it.’
Milasas suggests starting is just
a ‘10% account’. You put in
10% of every single cent that one of
you earn: if you earn a rand,
you put 10 cents away. ‘Put
it in an account, a shoebox,
those
whatever. You start to have
financial freedom – and
things’
you start to have a sense
of peace because you
actually have money.’
Most of all, Milasas says,
be grateful for every rand
you earn. ‘Money follows joy;
joy does not follow money,’
she says. ‘People always
think they’ll be happy
if they have X amount of
money, but if you’re doing
what you love, money will
show up. You are the source
of creation – money isn’t the
source of creation.’
3 YOUR BODY IMAGE
Fifty-two percent of you
worry about your looks
24/7, and only four percent
of you believe you’re ‘hot’.
(Spoiler alert: you’re all
hot.) ‘I spend hours and
hours scrolling through
my Insta feed comparing
myself to gorgeous women,
and I always feel gross,’
says Emma, 27. ‘I’ve
become obsessed with
dieting and I wake up
extra early every day to
make sure my makeup
and hair are perfect.’
If you feel like IRL isn’t
measuring up to the filtered
fantasy on your phone, you’re
far from alone. Researchers at
the University of Pittsburgh
found the more time young
adults spend on social
media, the more likely
they are to be depressed
and have low self-esteem.
‘We should never envy
what we see on social
media because most of
it is false,’ says sexologist
and relationships expert
Nikki Goldstein. ‘Stop
looking through Insta
and Facebook. Put the
phone away and enjoy
what you have in your life
right now. Look around and
ask yourself what you have
to be thankful for. “I live in
a beautiful place; I have
lovely friends.” Enjoy the
simple things and stop
beating yourself up.’
4 YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Half of you fret about your
love life and worry you’ll
end up alone. ‘I don’t think
I’ll ever find anyone who
wants to spend the rest
of their life with me,’ says
Amy*, 31. ‘My friends tell
me I need to put myself
out there more, but I’m
too scared I’ll be rejected.’
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 51
GOOD ADVICE
Goldstein says whether
you’re in a relationship or
single, fear of rejection can
hang over your head like
a miserable cloud of doom.
It’s time we back ourselves
more, ladies. ‘We all have
these insecurities – but
how strongly they impact
our life will depend on
how strong our sense of
self is,’ says Goldstein.
‘If you have a good self-
esteem, then when those
ideas come into your head,
you’ll be able to talk through
them. You’ll ask yourself,
“Do I have anything to worry
about, really? Am I secure
in my relationship?” And
you’ll work it out. If you’re
really having a moment
of self-doubt, then these
thoughts will come into
your head and they’ll feel
very real. You need to learn
how to love yourself and
know that you’re worthy
of a loving relationship.’
52 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017
Side note: always
surround yourself with
people who love you for
who you actually are.
5 YOUR SOCIAL LIFE
Forty-four percent of you
worry about your popularity
status. ‘Everyone seems
to have a bigger social
circle than I do,’ says
Jamie, 24. ‘On social
media, everyone is always
out at parties, while I’m
at home.’ We know social
media has a way of making
us feel inadequate, so we
need to take it all with a
pinch of salt. It’s time to
embrace some me-time.
‘We always feel like we
have to be doing something
and be surrounded by
people – but when do
you get to relax?’ says
Goldstein. ‘I love being
lonely. I love going for a
walk on my own, or to sit
in the park reading a book.
“Love yourself, date
yourself.” Don’t be scared to
be alone – it’s a lovely time.’
6 YOUR HEALTH
Twenty-nine percent of
you are on a health kick,
but with those energy
levels hard to maintain,
you’re feeling more vacant-
eyed zombie than Energizer
Bunny. It’s no surprise, with
all the plates we’re trying to
balance – but the answer
is literally on your plate.
‘Come off the caffeine,’
says nutritionist Pip Reed.
‘It gives you a boost – but
what goes up must come
down, so you crash and
become more tired, and
then you look for the next
caffeine or sugar hit to
get your energy back up.
That cycle is exhausting
in itself.’ If you really can’t
cut it, make sure you don’t
drink coffee on an empty
stomach. ‘Try to make it
your mid-morning snack
or have it post-exercise,
when your metabolism
is already firing – but
try to limit it to one
cup a day,’ says Reed.
Increasing your water
intake and swapping out
refined carbs and sugar for
vegetables, lean protein and
good whole grains will keep
energy levels from doing
Twenty- roller-coaster flips. ‘For
breakfast, eat something
nine that’s high in protein, such
as eggs, avocado and tomato
percent on a slice of rye bread. That
will fill you up and give you
of you a boost of fi bre, which is
good for your gut – and it
are on will give you the energy you
need,’ says Reed. ‘If you’re in
a health a rush, have a protein shake,
which will also give you a
kick steady release of energy.’
If you’re still fatigued,
see a doctor to figure out
the cause.
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
 ADVERTISEMENT
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7 YOUR SEX LIFE
Twenty-eight percent of you think
your sex life’s not up to scratch.
‘I don’t have nearly as much sex
as my friends do,’ says Anna, 32.
‘I always question what’s wrong
with my libido.’ The takeaway?
‘There’s no such thing as “normal”
when it comes to sex,’ says
Goldstein. ‘If you’re not having
sex every night, it doesn’t matter
if that’s what works for you – or
maybe you’re having sex every
night. It’s very normal for sexual
attitudes and beliefs to be a bit out
of sync because we’re all different.
Some like morning sex, some like
night-time sex. Relationships are
about compromise; we have
to get better at discussing sex
with our partner, feeling open
about it and being okay with
some awkwardness. And if you
have a conversation that’s a bit
unpleasant, it’s okay. Stick with it.’
Goldstein suggests that you
and your partner write down the
things you do like about your sex
life. This way you can celebrate
what works and focus on that
by creating a new list together
of things you both like.
8 YOUR FAMILY
With 74% of you stating your
family are the ones who pick
you up when you feel down, it’s
perfectly normal for you to worry
about their wellbeing. Carbone
says you have to recognise your
own limits, and accept that some
things are simply out of your control.
MAKE WORRY WORK FOR YOU
‘Stress can be a motivator, something that drives you,’ says former
GP Stephen Carbone. ‘There is good stress – for example, when
you’re preparing for an important interview, you want to be a bit
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‘It’s about staying in touch and
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psyched up and ready to go.’ Worry can be a catalyst for change,

learning and growth – if you manage it correctly. ‘It’s about stepping
back, putting things in perspective and approaching problems one
at a time; it’s about breaking things up into small, doable tasks.
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and stops you from being the best you can be that you need to reservations@cheetahplains.com
say to yourself, “What can I do to not let worry dominate my life?”’ Dine under the stars at an idyllic game reserve. ■
 DOES
WHY

WEARING
S
MAKE US
FEEL SO DAMN
GOOD?

A F*CKING FUN
54 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

WE LOVE TO
PEPPER OUR
LANGUAGE WITH
AN ‘EFF THIS’ OR
A ‘NO SH!T’ – BUT
THERE’S MORE
TO IT THAN JUST
THROWING DOWN
A SWEARWORD
FOR SH!TS
AND GIGGLES,
DISCOVERS
POTTY-MOUTHED
MEL EVANS
M swearing as a form of
’SCUSE MY FRENCH, but
letting out a swearword
now and then feels f*cking
good, doesn’t it? Not only
does colourful language
show our passion and
bring spice to a sentence,
it’s also been proven to be
good for us on the inside.
And we’re quite a sweary
generation, with a recent
study finding that three-
quarters of Gen Y are
comfortable swearing
in the office, compared
to 58% of Gen X and Baby
Boomers (bunch of squares).
PROLIFIC PROFANITY
There has been a real change
to our view of swearing. It
wasn’t too long ago that ‘shit’
was bleeped before the non-
prime hour of 8.30pm; now
the F-bomb is (probably)
being dropped on soapies.
INVESTIGATION
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
Okay fine, perhaps not quite
yet – but Monika Bednarek,
senior lecturer in linguistics
at the University of Sydney,
examined TV in the US
and found that The Wire
averaged more than 100
instances of profanity per
episode. We’re like sponges,
sucking up every word.
‘The more exposure we
have to swearing, the more
likely we are to integrate it
into our own expressions,’
says psychologist Samantha
Clarke. ‘It can change the
way we express ourselves.
Someone may have only
sworn when they were
upset or angry, yet the
increase in media using
humour or endearment
is likely to adapt the
function of swearing for
the individual watching.’
Now we’re dropping
much more than ‘oh,
fiddlesticks’ in front of
our parents – and mom’s
not clutching her pearls!
Aside from family benefits,
swearing is good for our
health, too: from increasing
our depth of emotions to
creating a sense of catharsis,
there’s much good to be
done by peppering our
language with a few curses.
It makes us feel good and
it turns us into hard mofos.
A 2011 study led by Richard
Stephens of Keele University
found that people who swore
were better able to tolerate
pain. The study had 67
participants place a hand in
ice water and see how long
they could hold it there.
ING
F#! * PSYCHE
F$D@
S@!T K
D*#K F!$K
*#K
S*!T
When they swore, they
could hold it twice as
long. ‘Increased tolerance
is linked to the activation
of the limbic system, which
releases adrenaline – linked
to pain relief,’ says Clarke.
‘This is known as the
hypoalgesic effect.’ The
effects of pain relief were
more evident in those who
did not typically swear.
Still, long-time swearer
or not, before you next
pop a Panado, why don’t
you scream ‘F*CK!’ first
to see whether that helps.
SOCIAL SWEARING
Not only does swearing
help when we stub a toe,
it downplays our feelings
of weakness and provides
us with a coping mechanism,
making us feel more resilient.
It’s also said to improve
circulation, elevate our
levels of endorphins and
generate a sense of calm.
It’s the feel-good hit of the
summer, really.
So a swearword a
day keeps the doctor
away* (* not actual medical
advice), and it helps us in
social situations. Because
of the emotional effect of the
words themselves, swearing
helps us find our place
within friendship circles.
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN
According to Clarke, when
someone is presented with a
swearword, their amygdala
(a central part of the limbic
system that controls fight or
flight) is activated, showing
that these types of words
cause significant emotional
reactions. ‘It can assist
with bonding and create
cohesion between members
of a group – particularly
if there is a mutual view
of swearing,’ she says.
And you can’t deny
a playful insult is the
chosen way for many
of us to convey affection.
BEST USED SPARINGLY
Sure, swearing can bring
us together – it’s seen as a
way of building connections
with those you are engaging
with. But be warned: when
used incorrectly, much like
love, it can tear us apart.
‘Swearing can inhibit
a relationship from forming
or even rupture established
ones,’ says Clarke. ‘There
are other ways to express
emotions without having to
resort to swearing, which
can be seen as aggressive.’
When used in the right
context, there’s nothing
better than a peppering
of ‘f*ck’. But let’s treat it
as a privilege, not a right
– especially now we know
that the more we abuse the
words, the less good they
feel. And if I’m ever caught
mid-iced water crush à la
Rose in Titanic, I’d like some
sweet, sweet pain relief. ■
55
REPORT
Thabile Mpe Follow
@Thabile__

‘I Live-
Tweeted My
Psychiatric
Treatment’
O ne wom a n h a r ne s s e d soc i a l me d i a a s pa r t
of her he a l i n g – a nd her appr oa c h i s he a l i n g
c ou nt le s s ot her s i n Sout h A f r ic a . T h i s Ment a l
Hea lt h Awa r ene s s Mont h , be i n s pi r ed by T habi le
M p e’s s t or y, a nd get e d uc at e d ab out you r ow n
ment a l he a lt h , t oo
AS TOLD TO SARAH BROWNING-DE VILLIERS
‘Night pill time. The other patients love stroking 7KHLPSRUWDQFH Ever
RIKROLVWLFWUHDWPHQW Wondered
my gown. Weird what we find to be comforting,’ A few months after
tweets Tuks BCom student Thabile Mpe. It’s her diagnosis, though, it What
became clear Mpe needed
September 2016; she’s tweeting from a clinic holistic treatment, not just
Depression
in Centurion, where’s she’s been admitted meds – like most people Feels Like?
who have a mental illness.
for bipolar type 2 disorder. A flurry of retweets FOR SOMEONE
‘While the meds helped,
follow. ‘Woke up with dry mouth. Downing 2L I needed more than that.
LUCKY ENOUGH
I needed therapy: someone NOT TO SUFFER
of water before breakfast to try and get rid of FROM A MENTAL
to teach me pragmatic coping
it,’ Mpe tweets the following morning. It’s her mechanisms,’ says Mpe. She ILLNESS, IT CAN
medication that leaves her with a dry mouth asked her psychologist to BE DIFFICULT
admit her. On 19 September, TO EMPATHISE
– the reality of living with a mental illness. Mpe checked into Vista While every person’s
Clinic, where she would experience of mental
Mpe’s followers are Luckily for Mpe, her mom stay for 19 days. That’s illness is unique (and
overwhelmingly supportive – a pharmacist – understood when she began to share there’s a wide spectrum
of her 19-day hospital stay, the reality of mental illness her experience via Twitter. of mental illnesses
and she’s realising that live- and pointed her in the right Mpe’s tweets were the out there), Thabile
Mpe describes her
tweeting her treatment isn’t direction to get help. ‘My beginnings of what would
depression to help
just cathartic for her – it’s mom suggested I give ICAS become Mental Wealth ZA.
you understand it better.
helping others, too. Rewind, a call. It’s an organisation ‘Many people commented ‘It feels like being at
though, and Mpe, 24, wasn’t that businesses can register how my tweets showed the bottom of the ocean.
always receiving the help with to provide psychiatric them that being admitted You want to get out and
she needed – or talking so assistance to their employees. wasn’t as scary as they you try to swim upwards,
openly about her struggle. You speak to someone on had seen on TV,’ says but there’s a weight tied
the phone, and they try Mpe. ‘I was normalising to your ankle. Sometimes
6WRSVD\LQJ¶,·PÀQH· to discern whether or not treatment and destigmatising you can see a ray of
‘I’d always felt like I was you need to see someone. mental illness.’ sunlight and it’s enough
to get you through the
different, but I’d got so used When I called, I spent an Following her treatment
day – but you’re still
to feeling down that I was hour on the phone, bawling – which included everything
stuck at the bottom of
trying to function with it,’ my eyes out. They found me from daily sessions with the ocean. Sometimes
says Mpe. ‘You convince a therapist.’ Therapists can’t a psychologist to classes you don’t see sunlight
yourself you’re fine. But make diagnoses, so she was on things like assertiveness at all. You feel as though
I’d have periods where referred to a GP and then to and processing guilt – you’re drowning and you’re
I wouldn’t want to get out a psychologist, who finally Mpe continued to see going to die. You feel
of bed for months. Studies provided an explanation: Mpe her psychologist regularly, like your swimming
in particular would trigger had bipolar type 2 disorder. as well as take medication. efforts aren’t getting
my anxiety and depression. The diagnosis was daunting She’s a stellar example of you anywhere, so you
give up and just sit there,
But I carried on coping and – but it was the beginning living with mental illness:
at the bottom of the ocean.
telling people, “I’m fine”. of getting the right help. managing it and seeking
It feels like an unending
‘Then, last year in June, ‘My psychologist wanted the treatment she needs, cycle of darkness.
my anxiety manifested itself to admit me for intensive but still honest about her ‘It’s important to
in a way I couldn’t ignore. treatment but I wasn’t ready,’ bad days and setbacks. appreciate that, even
At first, I thought I had flu: she says. ‘I wanted to be at ‘I realised how important when you make every
it was winter and everyone home. I was worried about it was for a young, black effort to swim to the
gets flu in winter, right? my mom. I needed to process woman to be speaking top of the ocean, you
Aside from flu symptoms, my diagnosis and what it openly about her illness,’ still feel held down.
I was crying regularly. I was meant for me. I did start notes Mpe. ‘It inspired Something people who
don’t understand mental
much sadder than usual. My taking medication: Zytomil, me to launch Mental
illness often say is “Snap
sleeping habits were out of an antidepressant; Epitec, Wealth ZA in January
out of it” or “Try harder, be
whack: I’d either sleep for a mood stabiliser; and then this year: a website and stronger”. But remember:
days or not be able to sleep Seroquel, an antipsychotic Twitter account that offer no-one who is suffering
at all. I began to realise – the start of working support and encouragement wants to stay like that.
that something bigger towards managing for anyone affected by We do try to work out of
was wrong; I wasn’t okay.’ my illness.’ mental illness.’ it – but it can feel futile.’

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
REPORT Thabile Mpe Follow
@Thabile__

Why social
media can work We get given plastic spoons
It’s Mpe’s @MentalWealthZA
Twitter account that’s and forks with food, but metal
especially revolutionary.
It’s a combination of her
personal journey – injecting
butter knives – why? So strange
realism into the day-to-day
of living with mental illness
– and tips, stats and info on
where to get help, as well as Thabile Mpe Follow
documenting the successes @Thabile__
and struggles of others
walking a similar path.
The account is inundated My favourite meal is lunch.
with tweets and DMs daily.
‘I followed your Twitter
account three months
Whoever is making lunch
ago during a depressive
episode,’ reads one DM. is for me. But I hate supper
‘I’ve DM’d you many times.
You’ve never ignored my
DMs, and you shared with
other lovers [Mpe’s term for T p o o
anyone who interacts with @Thabile__
her on Twitter] who gave
very useful advice. Three
months on the new drugs, My ‘Assertiveness’ classes
and I can say I feel SO MUCH
better.’ This ‘lover’ is one of are making me realise I err
many whose mental-health
journey has been enriched
via social media.
on the side of aggressive
Mpe regularly shares
DMs (with the sender’s p Fo ow
permission) to act as a @Thabile__
call-out for advice and
help from her followers,
whether asking about side Eight friends came to visit
effects of a medication or for
affordable psychologists in me tonight in hospital. I am
a certain area for a ‘lover’
without medical aid.
‘Sometimes, if I get a
so loved! So much
particularly dark DM, I shout
out to my followers to send
love and encouragement
to that person on Twitter,’ Th bil Mp Follow
says Mpe. ‘We use a hashtag @Thabile__
and create a thread of
acceptance and love,
so that person can Night pill time. The other patients
take comfort from it.’
In a world that’s almost
unequivocally condemning
love stroking my gown. Weird
of the effect of social media
on mental wellbeing what we find to be comforting

58 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017

 (according to a 2017
#StatusOfMind report,
Instagram is the most
damaging platform for
your mental health), Mpe
is proving that social media
can be used for good. One
of the main benefits? Its
accessibility: ‘So many
young South Africans
are on Twitter. Sure, I’m
still not reaching those
who struggle to pay for
data, but I’m reaching a
lot more people than our
poor government education
and healthcare systems are,’
explains Mpe. ‘Me tweeting
“I slept all day today” can
help someone else know
that it’s okay if they have
too, or it can spark someone
to think, “So did I – I can
relate. Maybe I also need
to get pro help.” There’s a
large force of comfort to be
found in the knowledge that
others are going through
what you’re going through.’
Not all days
are good ones
Of course, Mpe is still living
with her own illness – and
not all days are good days.
So how does she cope with
a Twitter feed sometimes
filled with deeply sad
messages and cry-outs
for help? ‘If I’m triggered,
I go home or go offline,’
says Mpe. Triggers can be
anything from a situation
to a person that can lead
to the onset of symptoms
of a mental illness. It’s
something a psychologist
– and time in treatment –
PHOTOGRAPHY NOKWANDA MASEKO
teaches you to deal with.
‘I cry if I need to cry,
talk if I need to talk, sit
with my mom and watch
TV. Whatever I need to do,
I do it. My psychologist also
helps me process the tough
posts,’ says Mpe. ‘I’ve had
tweets that feel suicidal.
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
These are especially
difficult because I’m
not a professional, and
I know what it’s like to feel
that low. I refer them to the
SADAG lifeline. Hopefully
the bigger conversation
that @MentalWealthZA
is creating encourages
people to get help before
they reach that point.’
Mental health and
black communities
But education around and
treatment of mental illness
in South Africa – especially
in black communities –
remains deeply insufficient.
‘I’ve come to understand
how prevalent untreated
mental illness is in black
communities,’ says Mpe.
‘The reasons range from
a lack of financial resources
to parents who are in denial
about their kids not being
okay, and to black people
generally not believing
in mental illness and
calling it a disease for
white people. It’s terrible.’
And since, according to
a South African Stress and
Health study, more than
a third of South Africans
will suffer from a mental
disorder over the course of
their lifetime, it’s imperative
we address these issues.
Black women, especially,
are vulnerable. ‘With black
women, there’s an unhealthy
tendency to romanticise our
strength,’ says Mpe. ‘We
are strong, but it’s out of
necessity – because we are
born on the lowest rung of
the social food chain. This
permanent state of struggle
affects our mental health.
We’re told we’re so strong
that nothing can bring us
down, yet we’re suffering
inside. Sometimes we don’t
even know we’re suffering,
because if you grow up
being oppressed, your
suffering can feel normal.
You don’t know that you
may be battling a mental-
health issue.’
It’s even more difficult to
admit to others that you’re
not okay, or to access the
help you need affordably.
Mental healthcare remains
hugely expensive. Mpe was
lucky enough to attend a
private treatment facility,
but the majority of those
suffering from mental illness
simply can’t afford this.
Then there’s the stigma
associated with mental
illness. ‘In many black
communities, if you say
that you have a mental
illness, the first thing
they’re going to say
is that you have been
bewitched or that God
doesn’t love you; that
you don’t pray enough or
don’t go to church enough.
Or that you’re crazy – a very
loaded and damaging term.’
Broadening access
to mental healthcare
and overcoming stigma
centres around increasing
education. ‘Look at the
way the government
has tackled TB and HIV/
Aids with great success,
providing accessible
treatment and increased
education. That’s what
we need for mental health,’
says Mpe. ‘Through my
treatment, I’m in a much
better place. It really helps
to forgive yourself for not
being okay, and to allow
yourself to accept that
your brain is wired this
way. You learn to manage
your illness. It’s a process
– but there is hope, and
there’s a good, thriving
life to be had.’ ■
Follow @MentalHealthZA
on Twitter for more.
Is Social
Media
the Place
for You?
IT’S NOT FOR
EVERYBODY –
AND IT CAN BE
AN UNHELPFUL
TRIGGER, DEPENDING
ON THE KIND OF
PERSON YOU ARE
AND THE MENTAL
ILLNESS YOU’RE
LIVING WITH. IF YOU
ANSWER ‘YES’ TO
ANY OF THE BELOW,
SOCIAL MEDIA MAY
NOT BE THE RIGHT
PLACE TO SHARE
YOUR MENTAL-
HEALTH JOURNEY:
‡ Are you the kind
of person who is
compelled to respond
to haters or trolls?
‡ Do you take negative
comments to heart?
‡ Do you consider
yourself a sensitive
person?
‡ Are you sharing
to get afÀrmation?
(Remember:
afÀrmation is
not guaranteed,
and shouldn’t be
the sole reason for
sharing your journey.)
‡ Do any of your
triggers (such as
hearing about others’
struggles or receiving
negative feedback)
occur regularly on
social media?
‡ Do you struggle to take
time out from social
media if you’re having
a bad day/week/month?
GET THE HELP
YOU NEED
The South African
Depression and Anxiety
Group (SADAG) is a great
resource. Visit Sadag.org
or call  011 234 4837.
If you’re feeling suicidal,
call  0800 567 567
or SMS 31393.
 #COSMOIGAWARDS

Meet the
Insta Slayers
Our search for the hottest, most happening Instagrammers of 2017 is under way, with
the #COSMOIGAwards fast approaching. We asked our four experts to show us how
it’s done at our first-ever COSMO Instagram Workshop, in partnership with Samsung
HOW TO MASTER A FAIL-PROOF
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FLOWER F L OW E R C H I L D

THIS SEASON’S
FLORALS SEE
A REVAMP, WITH
A TOUCH OF ’90s
GRUNGE AND
MAX ATTITUDE

PHOTOGRAPHY RICARDO SIMAL/

SUPERNOVA CREATIVE MANAGEMENT
FASHION ANDREA ALBERTYN/
SUPERNOVA CREATIVE MANAGEMENT
 THIS PAGE
Dress R800,
SECOND TIME
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AMUSE SOCIETY
at RVCA. Socks
R70, BABETTE.
Boots R529, H&M

OPPOSITE
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GAVIN RAJAH
 THIS PAGE
Bra R800, AMUSE
SOCIETY at RVCA.
Top R799, RONALD
SASSOON at Sissy
Boy. Pants R749,
H&M. Scarf R690,
AFRAID OF MICE

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Dress R1î499,
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Kimono R1î499
and pants R1î199,
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R795, ZARA

OPPOSITE
Bra R399, LA SENZA.
Kimono R249,
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R899, TOPSHOP
PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANTS
LUKE HOUBA AND JEAN-PIERRE WHITFIELD
FASHION INTERN ALESSANDRA FRANCESCUTTI
MODEL SHERON/ICE MODEL MANAGEMENT
HAIR AND MAKEUP NANDI KAI/SUPERNOVA
CREATIVE MANAGEMENT
PRICES CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS
STOCKISTS ON PAGE 126
 THIS PAGE
Blouse and
scarf R690 each,
AFRAID OF MICE.
Shorts R950,
LEIGH SCHUBERT

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Dress R400,
SECOND TIME
AROUND. Socks
R30, EDGARS.
Boots R529, H&M
 BE

ACTRESS, COMEDIAN AND

STAR OF THE NETFLIX FILM
THE INCREDIBLE JESSICA JAMES
JESSICA WILLIAMS SHOWS OFF
BOLD PRINTS, BOISTEROUS
TEES AND ACCESSORIES
– AND OFFERS ADVICE ON
HOW TO RAISE YOUR VOICE
ALONG WITH YOUR PROFILE
PHOTOGRAPHY DANI BRUBAKER
FASHION AYA KANAI

1 R899, COTTON ON
2 R599, THE LOT
3 R1î199, WITCHERY
 FASHION

1 R399, COTTON ON
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BE
FASHION
essica Williams has been busy doing … dope things, like
co-hosting the hit podcast 2 Dope Queens with her friend
and fellow comedian Phoebe Robinson, and hitting screens
Show love for your
for her first starring role in the romantic comedy The Incredible
lady parts with a top
Jessica James. She plays a 20-something New Yorker who’s like the one here.
simultaneously navigating a playwrighting career and a new
relationship with a divorced dude (Bridesmaids’ Chris O’Dowd).
Much like fictional Jessica, real-life Jessica, 27, has a confidence
so casual, it’s contagious. Here, in looks made for the spotlight, she dishes
on tapping into her proudest, loudest, baddest self. ‘Your mouth is the
biggest weapon you
have. I try to make
sure I don’t say
anything that I’m
going to regret later
just because I feel an
emotion. Acknowledge
that emotion – but
take an extra moment
so you’re not saying
things that undercut
your argument or
that will hurt the
other person. Make
sure you’re in control
of your weapon.’
1

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76 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017

 Meet your new iconic
duo: stripes and colourful
graphics that require
no Àlter for impact.

‘With Twitter and

Instagram, it’s easy
to get wrapped up in
someone else’s stuff.
What feels healthy to
me is thinking about
my childhood self;
thinking, “Would I be
proud of what I’m doing
now?” If that answer
is yes, then I’m doing
something right. If it’s
no, I’ve got to go back
to something I learnt
in yoga class. When I’m
trying to do a downward
dog without accidentally
farting, my instructor will
tell me to “gently correct”
– so I gently correct my
path instead of yelling
at myself.’

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 1

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Brains? Brawn?
Whatever your
preference, ooze
swag in athleisure
– and let a tee speak
your truth.
 C O M P I L E D B Y R A C H E L M O S E LY A D D I T I O N A L FA S H I O N C L E O M A R C O P O U LO S A N D C L A R E R O B E R T S O N H A I R D R K A R I W I L L I A M S / M A H O G A N Y H A I R R E V O LU T I O N
M A K E U P M Y L A H M O R A L E S / V I S I O N N AT I O N A R T I S T S M A N I C U R E S T E P H A N I E S T O N E / N A I L I N G H O L LY W O O D P R O D U C T I O N F I R S T S H O T P R O D U C T I O N S L O C AT I O N
A C E H O T E L , LO S A N G E L E S P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S P R I C E S A R E R E C O M M E N D E D R E TA I L P R I C E S S T O C K I S T S O N PA G E 1 2 6

3 R869, TOPSHOP
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OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN

FASHION

79
#Black
Girl
Magic
YOU R H A I R I S G OR G EOUS , A N D DA M N P OW E R F U L .
B E I N S P I R E D T O W E A R I T YO U R WA Y B Y S O M E
O F O U R F AV O U R I T E L O C A L C R E A T I V E S
PHOTOGRAPHY AART VERRIPS/LUSTRE
FASHION AND PRODUCTION BEE DIAMONDHEAD
 Documenter and artist

LULAMA WOLF, 23
@lulamawolf
Do you have a
signature hairstyle?
‘Extra-long braids, or an Afro.’
What’s your relationship
like with your hair?
‘My hair and I have a love-
hate relationship. We try
to get along most days –
but we deÀnitely love each
other when we manage to
compromise on one hairstyle.’
Where do you get
your hair inspo?
‘Solange Knowles.’

Dress R229, H&M.

Jacket R1î029, ZARA.
Earrings R790,
LORNE JEWELLERY
 Rapper/actress
SHO MADJOZI, 25

@shomadjozi
Do you have
a signature hairstyle?
‘Yes! “Madjozi braids” –
cornrows with braids on the
sides. While I lived in Senegal,
I noticed the young girls had
beautiful braids with beads
– but as soon as they hit
puberty, they start relaxing
their hair. That’s weird for
me. It’s as though we’ve been
taught that certain hairstyles
are immature or inappropriate,
and that “beauty” means
we have to completely erase
ourselves. I want to create
a version of beauty that is
more considerate towards
me, my hair and my history.’
What’s your relationship
like with your hair?
‘I had to learn it. Isn’t
that crazy? As black people,
we’re more equipped with
the knowledge of how to
straighten our hair rather
than how to deal with it
as it grows out of our scalp.
Over time, I’ve learnt how
it curls and how to braid it
without destroying my edges,
and I’ve become comfortable
with the fact that it doesn’t
grow very long. I’m happy.’
Where do you get
your hair inspo?
‘Thandiswa Mazwai has
always been the original
blueprint for me.’

Bra model’s own. Jumpsuit

R1î600, NAO SERATI. Skirt and
accessories stylist’s own
 Makeup artist

ZIPHO NTLOKO, 24
and beauty writer
@themakeupstandsa
Do you have a
signature hairstyle?
‘I love lengthy,
medium-sized
braids or twists.
They’re fun and
youthful, and their
maintenance is
a lot easier
than a weave.’
What’s your
relationship like
with your hair?
‘My natural hair?
I haven’t worn
my natural hair
in years, mainly
because it can be
so hard to maintain.
I don’t have a love-
hate relationship
with my hair;
it’s more of an
understanding,
and knowing the
degree of effort
that goes into
maintaining it.
With my often-
hectic schedule
and early
mornings, I have
little time to style
my hair, which is
why I now go for
protective hairdos
throughout the year.’
Where do you get
your hair inspo?
‘I love Keke Palmer
with box braids.
I think she’s the
celeb that inspired
my signature
braided look –
she always looks
insanely beautiful
with braids.’

Bralette R229 and skirt

R749, TOPSHOP. Dress
R829, ZARA. Earrings
R450, LORNE JEWELLERY
 ZANDILE TISANI, 31

Do you have

Top R799, H&M. Skirt

Film-maker

your hair inspo?

@zanditee

and earrings stylist’s own

Where do you get
like with your hair?
hairstyle I do has to

I like Instagram user

of inspiration for me.’

an undercut, so every
a signature hairstyle?

‘Deep. Constant. It’s a

‘At the moment I have

garden I tend to daily.’

take that into account.’

@crowezilla – the page

has been a great source
‘Fly girls on the Internet.
What’s your relationship

P H O T O G R A P H E R ’ S A S S I S TA N T S I M Z S H O O T A S S I S TA N T S D O N Z O N D O, A M Y Z A M A , S H AW N N T U L I H A I R S A A D I Q U E R Y K L I E F M A K E U P Z I P H O N T LO KO A N D S H I R L E Y
M O L A T L H E G I S P E C I A L T H A N K S T O N C U M I S A D U M A A N D M M U J A H E A LT H Y H A I R P R I C E S C O R R E C T A T T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S S T O C K I S T S O N P A G E 1 2 6
Fashion/creative director

BEE DIAMONDHEAD, 32
@bee_diamondhead
Do you have
a signature hairstyle?
‘I don’t! I change my hair
often – like twice a week.
I can’t help it. I have a hair
dream, then it has to happen.’
What’s your relationship
like with your hair?
‘I’ve always had a good
relationship with my hair.
I’ve always loved it. I know
now that I haven’t always
taken the best care of it.
Mainstream media told my
guardians they had to “treat”
it for it to be acceptable. Even
under those circumstances,
I loved my hair. I’m just sad
we had to go through all that.’
Where do you get
your hair inspo?
‘My hair inspo comes in my
dreams – like little gifts my
ancestors have left for me.
Black women are so creative
with their hair. It’s something
in us, something we were
born with. It’s so beautiful
and inspiring to see so many
of us embrace that.’ ■

Jacket from R1î999, ADIDAS.

Accessories stylist’s own
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 How
Do You
Mend a
Broken
PHOTOGRAPHY LEO ACKER TEXT HAYLEY THOMPSON

Heart?
You do yoga. That’s the word from a ground-breaking recent
US study, at least, which has discovered that perfecting
your warrior pose could prevent ‘broken heart syndrome’ –
the heart attack-like symptoms brought about by painful
break-ups. It also increases levels of GABA, an amino acid
that Àghts anxiety, stress and depression. Relationship woes?
Try the ‘legs-up-the-wall’: lie on your back with your legs
raised against a wall. PS: wine still helps too… ■
Make
Yoga
More
Fun
Just because your attention span
short-circuits after one sun salutation
doesn’t mean yoga is not for you.
Try out these moves from CorePower
Yoga: poses plus weights plus cardio
bursts equals all your Àtness needs
met in one session!
BY DANIELLE McNALLY

Bend knees, keeping chest

lifted. Extend right leg out to
the side, tapping toe on the
ground [left]. Reverse motion.
Do 20 reps, then switch sides.

EASE UP This is basically

a single-leg squat (already

1CHAIR POSE
FOR YOUR BOOTY
Stand with feet together,
holding a 5kg dumbbell
in each hand at chest
height, elbows bent with
palms facing inwards.
tough) made tougher. Need
a break? Straighten your knee
a bit. ‘It’s okay if you need to
come out of chair pose,’ says
Amy Opielowski, CorePower’s
senior manager of quality
and innovation.

88 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017


HOW-TO
Do all the reps
of each move
in order,
transitioning
mindfully from
move to move.
Repeat the
circuit twice.
WARRIOR 2
2 FOR YOUR ARMS
From chair pose, step
left foot back and
bend right knee into
a low lunge. Keeping
right knee over your ankle,
rotate hips, shoulders and
left foot to the left. Extend
arms down, palms out. Exhale
and bend elbows, curling
weights to shoulders [left].
Inhale and reverse motion.
PHOTOGRAPHY PERRY HAGOPIAN
Do 20 reps, then switch sides.
DON’T FORCE IT Many
yoga students think the hips
have to be square to the side
in warrior 2. Not true! ‘Open
hips only as far as they’ll go
naturally,’ says Opielowski.
WORKOUT
AEROPLANE FOR PROP YOURSELF UP
3 ALL-OVER TONING
Set weights aside. Face forward,
Wobbly? Set Àngertips on
the ground. Can’t reach?
bring feet together and raise Put yoga blocks under
hands to prayer position at each hand. You’ll
chest. Inhale and extend left work the same
leg off the ground behind you. muscles without
Bend knee, drawing it towards having to Àght B
against gravity.
the right ankle as you hinge
forward at the hips [A]. Exhale,
straightening right leg and
extending arms and left leg A
to hip height behind you [B].
Reverse the motion. Do 20 reps,
then switch sides to even it out.
HANDSTAND HOPS lunge [A]. Shifting weight
4 From aeroplane, set foot
down. Bend knees and place
onto the arms, kick both feet
up, lifting left leg towards the
hands on mat, slightly in front sky [B]. On descent, switch
of feet. Keeping right leg bent, legs, landing in a low lunge
– left foot forward, right foot
step left foot back into a low
back. Continue, alternating
sides for 30 seconds.
START SMALL Handstands
can be scary, so don’t feel
pressured to try if you’re not
comfortable. ‘Just do little
hops, focusing on keeping
shoulders over wrists and
B
piking your hips up,’ says
Opielowski. ‘You’ll get your
heart rate up either way.’
A
5EAGLE FOR YOUR ABS
Lie face up on mat. Cross
right knee over left leg. Cross
FINISH STRONG CorePower
specialises in high-intensity
workouts, but ‘Flexibility is
right elbow under left arm. a part of all our classes,’ says
Exhale, drawing right elbow Opielowski. ‘It helps you get
towards right knee [below]. that long, lean muscle.’ Stretch
Inhale and lower shoulders for a full Àve minutes after
and hips to mat. Do 20 you’ve completed all three
reps, then switch sides. rounds of the workout. ■
NOT JUST ABS!
CROSSING
YOUR LEGS
WORKS THE
INNER THIGHS TOO.
BODY

REPORT:

LET’S
HEAR IT
FOR VAG
PRIDE!
It’s time to ignore the
shamers and learn to love
your lady parts. Your health
(and sex life!) depends on it
BY HELEN ZOOK

MOST OF US WHO
lived through the 2000s
remember (with ire) the
term beef curtains, which
Spencer Pratt accused
Lauren Conrad of having
on The Hills. Fast-forward
to 2017 and Issa Rae is free-
styling about her BFF’s
‘broken pussy’ on HBO’s
Insecure. Can’t a vagina
get some respect? Not if it
isn’t perfectly symmetrical
and vanilla-scented,
apparently. From a young
age, our private parts
are held to ridiculous
standards – and not
just by pop culture.
‘Women get the sense
early on that their body is
too embarrassing to talk
about,’ says sex researcher
Debby Herbenick, an
associate professor at
Indiana University and
coauthor of Read My
Lips: A Complete Guide
To The Vagina And Vulva.
That shame can also be
traced back to disparaging
comments (one young
woman we know still
refers to her vulva as Joey,
after a girl at a sleepover in
high school said her ‘flappy’
labia looked like a Sloppy Joe),
or to pervasive pornography,
which only reinforces the
Barbie-parts paradigm.
‘PUSSY PINS’
ARE ONE WAY The consequences are
TO SHOW YOUR long-lasting: new research
LABIA LOVE
shows that women with low
genital self-esteem miss out
on sexual satisfaction, have
a higher risk of infections
and are less likely to get
regular gynaecological
exams. So, yeah, all that
negative chatter is putting
your wellbeing at risk.

90 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

 s
s so worried about the way
B d ib s
d b low
‘Y ’ have one
l i hip with your
b d side the bedroom
and a completely different
one in a sexual context,’
says sex therapist Vanessa
Marin. In other words, any
shame you feel about your
vagina – its appearance,
its smell, its taste – can
leave you distracted in
bed, or unwilling to let
s
your partner get up close
and personal with your
hoo-ha. It’s not surprising
Herbenick’s research found
that feelings of inadequacy
make it harder to orgasm
during sex.
Also problematic is the
porn industry’s version of
vaginal nirvana: hairless,
baby-soft labia. ‘Women
remove their pubic hair
and they suddenly have
a much better view of their
genitalia,’ says gynaecologist
Lauren Streicher, medical
director of the Northwestern
Medicine Center for Sexual
Health and Menopause. Not
only does an unobstructed
view highlight any
perceived irregularities,
but the skin tears that
result from frequent
shaving and waxing
may also leave genitals
vulnerable to STIs. Over-
grooming can quadruple
your risk of infection,
according to a recent
study published in
PHOTOGRAPHY LAUREN PERLSTEIN/STUDIO D
Sexually Transmitted
Infections. To add insult
to injury, research by
Vanessa Schick of the
University of Texas Health
Science Center at Houston
found that some women
with negative feelings
about their nether regions
may be more likely to
engage in unprotected sex.
Some young women are
2
they look, they even skip
pelvic exams, missing out
on potentially life-saving
screenings. Others fall so
deep into the low self-esteem
trap that they develop genital
phobia, a legit condition that
can lead to depression or
avoidance of situations
– from sex to a spinning
class – that draw attention
to their va-jay-jay.
s germs from
s collecting in
Learning to
love your vag
Repeat after us (and suck it,
Spencer): it’s time to stop
loathing your lady parts.
First, advises Marin, get
angry. ‘Do you really want
the length of your labia to
be another thing that’s
supposed to be perfect?’
No. Tapping into a collective
outrage can help you see
through BS standards.
Next, start taking care of
yourself. Get regular pelvic
exams and talk to your
gynae about any concerns
around the scent, taste or
look of your genitals. Oh,
and choosing a female doc
can’t hurt, says Herbenick.
Ask the
Doc
SOURCE: DR
JENNIFER ASHTON,
ABC NEWS CHIEF
WOMEN’S HEALTH
CORRESPONDENT
A study published in The
The percentage Journal Of Sexual Medicine
of sex-toy users found that male MDs and
who never clean plastic surgeons are more
their playthings. inclined to recommend
Eeek! To keep cosmetic labiaplasty than
their female counterparts.
On a practical level, try
the seams looking at pictures of real
and cracks women’s genitals. Marin
and leading to suggests browsing the
infection, wash (NSFW!) Labia Library,
your gadgets a gallery-style site of user-
with antibacterial submitted images of vulvas.
soap and warm ‘It can be a lot easier to look
water after each at pictures of strangers’ than
use, says Adam to look at your own,’ she
& Eve sexologist says. Scrolling will help
Kat van Kirk. you realise that perfection
Then store in is relative – and overrated.
a cool, dry place. And as you work on your
SOURCE: ADAM & EVE vag pride, remember that in
straight anatomical terms,
what your clitoris or vulva
looks like shouldn’t affect
the physical aspects of
intimacy. ‘One of the great
things about sex is that how
you look has no impact on
your capacity for pleasure,’
says Marin. So cut yourself
some slack and show your
lady parts some love – your
body will return the favour. ■
I hate the idea of taking Pill
hormones every day. Is it okay
to use ‘plan B’ as my ‘plan A’?
Taking emergency contraception often
doesn’t pose a health threat, but because
it works using the synthetic hormone
progestin to prompt your uterus to shed
its lining, it could mess with your normal
bleeding pattern. That, in turn, can make
it difÀcult to tell what’s normal period
blood and what isn’t. You might lose
track of when you’re actually ovulating –
a confusion that can potentially increase
your risk of unintended pregnancy.
If Your Boobs
Could Talk…
LISTEN UP, BECAUSE THE GIRLS HAVE SOME THINGS
THEY’VE BEEN MEANING TO GET OFF THEIR CHEST
BY NANCY REDD

Boobs seem pretty
straightforward.
(Unless yours point
east-west, of course.)
They give you a heads-
up when your period’s
on the way. They
signal when it’s cold.
They do their part when
it comes to attracting
a crush. But as close
as you are to your
breast friends, there’s
probably a few things
even you don’t know
about them. So we
handed your hooters
the mic. Here’s what
they want to say.
‘We can
change size’
Hormone fluctuations
during your cycle cause
glands in the breast to
grow in preparation for
a possible pregnancy,
leading to swelling
and tenderness. In
fact, oestrogen is also
why taking the Pill can
result in the (sometimes
welcome) side effect
of bigger boobs. ‘Oral
contraceptives with high
amounts of oestrogen in
particular can cause fluid
retention in the breasts
and stimulate the growth
of breast cells,’ says Dr
Harold Carlson, chief
of endocrinology and
metabolism at Stony
Brook School of Medicine.
And they aren’t the only
meds to have that effect:
antipsychotics such as
risperidone (often prescribed
for bipolar disorder), and
metoclopramide (a common
HEALTH
‘Millennials don’t want
to give up dance or sports,
or go through their 20s and
30s with back and neck pain,
Perceentage of motheerss
or spend thousands on a
custom bra,’ Labow says.
in
n onee stu udy who fo
breeastt-feeedin
ound
ng erotic.. Many
He sometimes removes as
off them feelt guiiltty about
much as 1,8kg of tissue
itt – but itt’ss tota
Horm
allyy no
ormal!
moness reeleassed duringg
from each breast!
nuursinng migght end up ‘We’re not a
tu
urnin ng yoou on.
matching set’
Whether you have boulders
or mosquito bites, for two-
thirds of women, the pair
treatment for heartburn)
increase levels of the doesn’t match – many of
hormone prolactin, which us have a larger left breast.
can cause breast soreness, But if your seemingly
identical twins suddenly
and even stimulate growth
and milk production. If you become fraternal, head to
aren’t loving the situation, a doctor. You could have
an infection – or worse.
speak to a doctor about
taking a drug that lowers
prolactin levels. A hormonal ‘We’re not
IUD such as Mirena may ticking time
also have fewer side
effects because its active
bombs’
Yes, breast cancer is
ingredient is progesterone.
too common – one in
Speaking of size, bigger
is not always better. It used
eight women will have
it in her lifetime. But
to be that women seeking
that’s no reason to
reductions were about 40,
freak out now. ‘I have
on average, but ‘In the past
many patients in my
five years, the number of
practice who are very
patients in their teens and
concerned about breast
20s seeking reductions has
cancer, including some
doubled,’ says Brian Labow,
under the age of 35,’
associate professor of surgery
says radiologist Julie
at Harvard Medical School.
Gershon. Mammograms
aren’t recommended for
women with average
risk before the age of
40. (Doctors may give
different advice to young
women with a family
history of cancer or
other risk factors.)
Nu umber off weekss into oa
prreggnanccy when mam mmaryy
glaands sttart to o deevellop..
Alll embr yo os staartt offf thee
saame, bu ut at weeek eigght
teesttossteeron
ne kiccks inn for
booys – th hat’ss whyy men n
haave nip pplless too!!
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 93
HEALTH
‘We like it
when you
feel us up’
‘It’s useful for women to
know what their breasts
normally feel and look like,’
says Dr Stuart Schnitt,
a professor of pathology
at Harvard Medical School.
So once a month, right after
your period, touch yourself
a bit. Since breasts change
throughout your cycle,
checking in at the same
time each month will help
you identify discomfort and
abnormalities over time.
Look out for lumps, nodules
or thickening; note any skin
changes, discolouration or
discharge. Get anything
weird checked out – but
don’t panic. ‘Most women
have benign lumps and
bumps at some point in
their life,’ says Schnitt.
‘We need
a little more
support’
Anywhere from 64% to
85% of women reportedly
aren’t buying the correct
size of bra. ‘A well-fitting
underwire bra supports
all breast tissue and does
Deca ade th hat malle shirrtleess
bans were overtturneed.
Befoore tha at, bothh men and
women weree pro ohibbiteed
fro
om goin ng to
opleess at the
beach. Fa ast-fforw
warrd to
2017 7, wheen – despitte
movvements such as
#FreeeTheNip pplee –
guys are freee too goo
baree while women
can still bee chargged
witth lewwdnesss, publiic
in
ndecencyy or dissturrbin ng
th
he pea ace for a nip-sslip p.
94 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017
Esstim
mateed peerccennta age of peeoplee who
haavee a sup perrnuumera aryy (a
evven
Ca
n foourth
arrie Und
Haarrr y Sttyless and
nipppless aree oftten
– so yo ou co ould ha
knnoww it!
not lie on any part of
the breast itself,’ says
bra expert Tina Omer,
owner of a lingerie
boutique. To fi nd one,
you need to know more
than band and cup size:
you also need to know
about your ‘root shape’
– the area where your
breasts attach to your
chest wall. If your breast
root is narrow, it may
require a differently
shaped underwire than
what many mainstream
bras offer, leading to
digging or poking.
To figure it out, stand
facing the mirror. ‘Your
root has a width (measured
under your breast) and a
height (measured around
the armpit),’ says Omer.
Using a washable marker,
put a dot on the innermost,
lowest, widest and highest
points of one breast, then
d connect them. If the shape
is more like a ‘U’, you have
a narrow root. If it looks
like a Nike swoosh,
your root is wider,
Omer explains.
PS: shops such as La
Senza offer free measuring
when you buy a bra – ask
a sales assistant to help
you. It may revolutionise
your bra wearing!
aka thiird
d or
h) nipp
derw
plee. Amongg theem aree
woo
od, Mark k Wahllbeergg,
d Lilyy Allenn. Exxtrra
n missta akenn fo
or moless
ave one an nd noot evvenn
‘We’re
sensitive
to the sun’
Walking around in a low-
cut shirt exposes your ladies
to UV rays – at any time of
year. Show off your stuff,
but treat the skin on your
breasts delicately; it’s
slightly more sensitive
than other parts of your
body because it hasn’t been
exposed to the elements,
says dermatologist Marnie
Nussbaum. ‘It’s more like
the skin you were born with,’
she says. ‘I often see patients
whose face looks young but
whose chest has terrible
sun damage.’ Use a broad-
spectrum SPF30 on your
twins every day. At night,
pamper them with a thick
moisturiser such as Clarins
Bust Beauty Extra-Lift Gel
(R555 for 50ml), which
contains collagen-boosting
extracts to fi rm and tone.
‘We want to
be played with’
Treat your tatas like
your clitoris – that’s the
takeaway from fi ndings
published in Human
Andrology last year. A
woman’s most powerful
extragenital erogenous
zones are her breasts.
Some lucky ladies even
climax from breast play
alone (see page 103). Ask
your bae to give yours their
share of licking, rubbing,
sucking and tugging.
The Local Lady
Beautifying Boobs
Post-Breast Cancer
Nicol Frank of Blush Beauty is
boosting the conÀdence of breast-
cancer survivors one tattoo at a
time. For many of us, the cost of
having breast reconstruction done
by a specialist plastic surgeon
post-mastectomy may be too
high. Enter Frank, who offers
an innovative microneedling
technique that creates lifelike
areola tattoos at a fraction of the
cost of a plastic surgeon. ‘Having
a mastectomy is an emotional
roller coaster – but there is light at
the end of the tunnel,’ says Frank.
THE NEED FOR
AREOLA TATTOOS
‘Women who need breast surgery
or a mastectomy may lose their
natural nipples in the operation
process,’ explains Frank. ‘Six
months after surgery, women
can come for areola tattooing to
recreate the nipple. Areola tattoos
are beautiful and look realistic.’
HOW IT WORKS
‘I apply medically approved
pigments with a painless, short
microneedling technique in the
papillary layer of the skin,’ says
Frank. ‘The results last seven to
10 years.’ And the microneedling
technique (versus, say, normal
tattooing) allows for a healthier
healing process without scarring
or damage. ‘A colour refresher is
recommended after Àve years.
The procedure can be done on all
skin tones.’ Thanks to highlighting
and shading, the tattoo offers a
3D-like effect. Two sessions are
needed, six weeks apart. ‘I work
with the client to ensure they get
the “look” and colour shading of
the areola that they want,’ says
Frank. For women who have
a reconstructed nipple, Frank’s
technique can still offer recreation
of the outer areola, if needed.
WHAT IT COSTS
The initial cost is R4 500 (for
two sessions, six weeks apart).
A touch-up (not always needed)
is R1 200, and the Àve-year
refresher is R2 000. Visit
Blushsouthafrica.com for more.
P H O T O G R A P H Y T R U N K A R C H I V E / D AV I D B U R T O N , I N S TA G R A M
‘Nipple stimulation sends
signals to the same region
P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S
of a woman’s brain as the
clitoris, vagina and cervix,’
says neuroscientist Barry
Komisaruk, coauthor of The
Orgasm Answer Guide. The
reason may be evolutionary:
‘Oxytocin receptors found
around mammary glands
are also found in uterine
muscle. Stimulating them
might promote procreation
of the species.’
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
‘We break
out too’
Sitting around in
a sweaty sports bra
can irritate the sensitive
skin on your chest. Worse,
this area contains more
sebaceous glands,
The centturyy BC in whicch
th
he sportts bra a wass ‘in
nven nted’’. which makes it prone
Roman wom men wra apped to eczema and acne.
baandagees arou und theiir girlls To keep your cleavage
to
o supportt theem duringg clear, shower as soon as
athleetiic activvitiees. possible after workouts,
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN
using a body wash
that contains benzoyl
peroxide on the affected
area. Then apply a retinoid
product, which prevents
and treats acne and can
help with scarring, says
dermatologist Dendy
Engelman. If you have
a boob pimple that lingers
for several weeks, or a rash
on your nipple or areola,
get it checked out by a
doc, says Nussbaum. ■
95
©2017 E! Entertainment Television, LLC. All Rights Reserved. .
 Up
Your
Big-O
Odds
IT’S NO SECRET THAT
MOST WOMEN CLIMAX
FAR LESS FREQUENTLY
THAN THEIR GUYS DO
– AND NEW RESEARCH
IS HELPING EXPOSE
WHY. IT’S TIME TO GET
YOUR FAIR SHARE
OF SATISFACTION!
BY JULIE VADNAL
LOVE LUST
Orgasms
during
sex can
be like
rainbows:
unpredictable and rare –
at least for many straight
women. Compared to any
other gender and sexual
orientation, hetero ladies
ranked dead last in their
likeliness to climax during
their sexual encounters
with a partner in the
past month, according to
a recent study published
in the Archives Of Sexual
Behavior. In fact, while 75%
of dudes said they always
finish when getting it on,
only 33% of women could
say the same.
Yeah, we know. So unfair.
This pleasure gap between
the sexes has been an issue
for as long as women have
been faking it. (Read: a very
long time!) But now, we’re
getting some explanations.
‘Men often don’t know
what they’re doing,’ says
the study’s lead author
David Frederick, assistant
professor of psychology at
Chapman University. Nearly
one-third of guys assume
vaginal intercourse alone
will get most women off.
100 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017
In reality, however,
only 20% to 30% of us
can regularly hit a high
note from penetration
alone. The vast majority of
us need clitoral stimulation.
Adding to the problem is
the fact that some straight
women are failing to have
an open dialogue with
their men about the way
they experience pleasure
and orgasms, says Justin
Garcia, a sex researcher at
the Kinsey Institute and
a coauthor of the study.
What you’re left with is
a sex life in which your
guy gets his happy ending
– while possibly thinking
that he’s rocked your world
too – and you lie there
feeling unsatisfied.
Luckily, bridging the gap
is possible – and your man
will be happy to help. ‘Most
guys want their partner to
orgasm because satisfying
their partner is tied to their
self-esteem,’ says Frederick.
Follow these tips, and even
the scorecard.
Find your
own hot zones
‘When you ask women
how they masturbate,
a very small percentage
solely put something inside
their vagina,’ says Laurie
Mintz, author of Becoming
Cliterate. ‘But when they’re
with a man, they think they
should orgasm differently.’
With this in mind, spend
some solo time running
an external vibrator like
Lelo’s Mia 2 (R1 499, part
of ‘The Alibi’ Luxury Gift
Set at Desir.co.za) all over
your body. Remember where
you experience toe-curling
sensations so that, later,
you can tell your guy to
focus on those spots.
Slow down
with foreplay
While men can go
from normal to O face
in 60 seconds, women’s
bodies need more time
to build arousal, which
involves lubrication of and
increased blood flow to your
lady parts. ‘When sex lasts
longer than 30 minutes (and
we’re counting everything),
women are much more likely
to orgasm,’ says Frederick.
Pump the brakes by giving
your guy a lengthy back
massage, followed by an
enticingly slow lingerie
strip-down. Then tell
him to take his time
teasing you.
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
 1
DEEP KISSING
Stop for a steamy
make-out at your
front door before
you head inside.
‘Oh The (#SorryNotSorry,
Eigh Tr , Yes neighbours!)
wo ty per ifecta !’
me cen
orga n alwa t of st 2
com sm ys o raigh MANUAL
mov posed when r usual t STIMULATION
e o se ly
is ta s – and f these x is Have your guy
ken p t move the pads of
off enetra hree his pointer and middle
the
tabl tion Ànger in a windscreen-
e:
wiper motion over
your clitoris.

3
ORAL ACTION
Think of your clitoris
as a clock, and direct
your guy to lick the
one o’clock spot – a
supersensitive part
for some women.

Ask for what you want

‘No-one can mind-read,’
says Mintz – so staying
silent is the biggest mistake
you can make. ‘By not
saying anything, you’re
training a partner to do
something that doesn’t
work for you.’ Instead,
guide him with cues
such as, ‘Touch me here’,
Double Your Pleasure, ‘Harder’, ‘Faster’ or ‘Why
don’t we try this with me
Double Your Fun on top?’ If no words come
to mind, move his hands
These positions, adapted from our forthcoming book COSMO’s Sexy Sutra (which you
can pre-order at Takealot.com), give you a free hand to handle yourself during the deed where you want them and
show him how it’s done.
P H O T O G R A P H Y C H R I S C R AY M E R I L L U S T R AT I O N S J E N N Y Y U E N

Give positive feedback

When bae is doing
something right, a little
praise can go a long way.
P R I C E C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S

According to the Archives

The Very Good
Morning
Lie on your stomach,
and let him slide in from
behind with his knees
bent and arms supporting
his weight at your sides.
Move a hand down to your
clit for double the feels.
The Big V
While on your back,
open your legs wide
into the air (making
a V shape) and let him
grab your ankles while he
thrusts. Rub your clitoris
with your hand or twist
your hips up against him.
The Steamy
Slow Jam
Lie on your side with
him behind you, in spoon
position. He lifts your
leg and enters you from
behind. Let him rub your
clitoris with his fingers
– or hand him a vibe.
Of Sexual Behavior study,
a comment such as ‘It feels
so good when you rub me
like that’ (or even ‘I love
you’, if you’re both ready
for that) can make you
more likely to reach your
pleasure peak. Your guy
may also remember the
move for next time! ■

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 101

LOVE LUST
MY
BEST SEX
WORST
EVER WAS…
When His Penis ‘Broke’
A
When bad sex happens to good people
‘Anyone who’s been in a
relationship where you both
live with family or friends
will know that sometimes
you have to think outside
the bed when it comes to
sex. I’d been with Gabriel*
for four years and our
sex life was problem-free
(actually, it was pretty
fantastic), minus the fact
I lived with my grandma
and he with his mother.
So when any opportunity
arose for a quickie, we’d
seize it with both hands.
‘One day, after a family
meal at his mom’s house
with about 10 of his relatives,
everybody went for a nap.
We decided that, instead
of sleeping, we’d sneak
up to Gabriel’s room and
get down to it. Within
minutes he had his face
between my thighs and
then began penetrating
me so deeply, I had to bite
my lip to stop myself from
screaming. It was such
a turn-on.
102 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017
‘However, the euphoria
wasn’t to last: a “popping”
sound came from down
below, like a condom
breaking. Then through
gritted teeth, he whispered,
“Something’s burning,” and
pulled out. Cue a spray of
horror-movie-rivalling blood
splattering all over the bed,
the floor and my naked body.
It was like a water sprinkler
infused with red
food dye – only it
was coming from ‘How the hell had
his penis.
‘Gabriel’s face we managed to
contorted with pain
as he squirmed in break his cock?’
silence, trying not to
wake his family. I frantically
whipped the sheet off the
bed and tried to stem the
blood flow, while I wondered
how the hell we’d managed
to break his cock.
‘Then he began to
get woozy – this was
becoming too much for
me to handle. So, with
the absolute highest level
of mortification surging
through me, I had no choice
but to call the one person
who I knew could help:
my mother. Mom, a GP, did
not make the conversation
any less excruciating. As
I explained the situation,
it became clear what the
problem was: Gabriel’s
banjo string had broken
as a result of going at it
too hard, while I hadn’t been
quite wet enough. Mom then
went on to query why we
hadn’t indulged in sufficient
foreplay. Not a question
I wanted to answer, really.
‘Eventually, the blood
stopped and the pain eased
up. Time to tackle the crime
scene: as Gabriel lay in bed,
I thought back to every
serial-killer documentary I’d
ever seen and got a bucket
of soapy water to scrub
away any traces of evidence.
We covered Gabriel’s penis
with gauze, which I found in
the bathroom, and allowed
it to heal over the next few
weeks. Gabriel said he’d
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN * NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED
rather eat his own face than
show a doctor his injury.
‘We then walked
downstairs, as his
family began to shuffle
in from their naps,
oblivious to the blood
bath they’d just missed.
As for my boyfriend’s
pained expressions?
He had to fake stomach
cramps from overeating.
‘I had no idea this could
happen – these stories
aren’t often whipped
out over dinner. “Hey,
I’m Jo*. Once I snapped
my boyfriend’s penis and
it looked like a scene from
Carrie. Anyone for seconds?”
Be safe out there. You have
been warned.’ ■
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
 Have a Boobgasm! THINK YOUR
BREASTS ARE
JUST FUN BAGS
FOR YOUR
PARTNER?
The Orgasm
Answer Guide.
‘Nipple stimulation
activates the same
part of the sensory
cortex as clitoral and
WHY MEN
HAVE NIPS
Touching
your tatas
Licking, flicking and
tweaking – there’s no
wrong turn on the road
to nipple euphoria.
THINK AGAIN… vaginal stimulation
does,’ he says. In plain-
They don’t feed babies,
so why do their nipples
Along the way,
communicate and
NIPPLE PLAY before speak: rubbing your exist? Because that’s practise with your
and during sex can headlights fires up how the male embryo bed partner to figure
enhance arousal, your brain’s feel-good develops. Nipples can out what makes you
finds a study in centre, and when your also enhance a man’s happy, says sexologist
The Journal Of Sexual upper and lower parts orgasm because they Jill McDevitt.
Medicine. The effect? are simultaneously trigger the same zone in Start by having
The potential for a engaged, it can lead his brain as stimulating him slowly trace his
more intense climax. to a mind-blowing his penis does, says fingers around your
neuroscientist Barry
More shocking: some release. Here is some areolae, inching ever
Komisaruk. Well, that’s
women have reported guidance for getting closer to the centre. If
the theory. In reality,
having orgasms from your girls in on all your nips get hard or
only 52% of dudes
breast play alone! the erogenous action. have ‘arousable’ feel tingly, the moves
What’s behind No tatas left behind! nipples, according are working. ‘Have
these boobgasms? to a study. Wondering your mate cup your
Mostly your brain, whether your man is breasts and use his
says neuroscientist among them? Try a slow fingers to squeeze
Barry Komisaruk, rub with your thumb your nipples gently,’
coauthor of and foreÀnger, applying says McDevitt. Or
slight pressure, then tell him to lap your
licking all over. If he tips with a bit of
moans, you’ve found tongue before gently
a hot spot. kissing and sucking
on them. Ah, bliss.

Listening in
Some more advanced
experimentation can
FEEL A
SPARK? JUST prompt an even more
GO WITH IT… explosive boobgasm.
Try circling your nips
with a small vibrator,
a warming lubricant,
ice cubes or – for an
extreme adventure
PHOTOGRAPHY THE LICENSING PROJECT TEXT ANKA RADAKOVICH

– nipple clamps.
That being said,
don’t force it. If
your girls are feeling
tender or sore, or are
aching for any reason,
stimulating them is
more likely to prompt
an ouch than an O.
Respect your twins
by letting them act
the part of passive
bystanders until
they’re ready to
come and join
the party again. ■

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
A M B I T ION
OR
L OV E :
DO YOU
H AV E
TO
C HOOS E? WHEN LAUREN, 27, a mechanical
engineer, met her now-ex at a
festival, she fell hard. ‘He made
me laugh, the sex was great and
he was intellectually stimulating,’
she says. Jackpot, right?
MANY MEN CLAIM TO DIG THE IDEA OF DATING AN HBIC Right. Until her picks for
– UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY DO. THE FALLOUT? SOME WOMEN dinner spots were ‘too lavish’.
ARE DOWNPLAYING THEIR CAREER GOALS TO BAG A BAE. NOT One night, he asked about
her salary – then everything
OKAY! HERE’S HOW TO FIND A WOKE GUY TO WAKE UP NEXT TO changed. ‘He couldn’t look past
BY JENNA BIRCH the fact that I made more money
than he did,’ says Lauren. ‘He
even told me I was overpaid.’
He confessed that he felt
emasculated by her career

104 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA


– and later, while she was on
a work trip, he cheated on her.
Among the straight, ambitious
and unattached, Lauren’s story is
familiar. More women than men
now graduate from university.
Forty percent of South Africans
live in female-headed households,
of which 40,7% have women as
their main breadwinners. But as
women strive for success, they’re
hitting a snag: they can’t find
a guy who’s comfortable with
all that awesomeness.
Multiple studies show that,
when asked, men say they prefer
dating ambitious go-getters. The
reality proves otherwise. As a
result, many women are playing
down their drive – at work and
on dates – to make themselves
seem like ‘relationship material’.
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
When single female students
were told their answers would
be shared with male peers,
they acted less ambitious and
leadership-oriented, claiming
a desire for smaller paycheques,
fewer travel days and fewer
working hours, according to the
National Bureau of Economic
Research. Meanwhile, their
partnered female classmates
didn’t waver. In a related study,
when single female students
were placed in groups with
other women, they admitted
to wanting high-paying, high-
powered jobs. But in groups
with single men, these women
were more likely to say they
wanted a family-friendly job:
lower-paying but more flexible.
So, what: you have to choose
between your goals and a BF?
Not on our watch! Although
guys’ attraction to girl power is
more layered than you think, it
is possible to find a partner who
will support you. As soon as you
understand what’s going on…
AN UNEVEN
playing field
Feminist bros seem to be in
abundance. In Match.com’s
2017 ‘Singles in America’ survey,
men marked ‘entrepreneur’ as
the sexiest career a woman can
have. That same survey found
that 87% of men say they’d be
with a woman who made more
than they did, and nearly 90%
wouldn’t mind if she were more
educated. (Match.com dubbed
it the ‘Clooney Effect’ – because
Amal.) And according to research
by Marisa Cohen and Karen
Wilson, as men’s academic
motivation rises, so does
their desire for a smart
partner. In other words,
driven guys want driven gals.
At least, they think they do.
When it comes to who men ask
out, the research looks rather
different. A series of experiments
at the University of Buffalo, for
LOVE LUST
IN PRAISE example, discovered that while
men are turned on by the idea of
OF intelligent women, the concept
SECURE is tougher to swallow in practice.
MEN In fact, if a girl outperforms
a guy on a test, he’ll express
less romantic interest.
Jesse, 33, a digital strategist,
has been there. He’s supportive
of his female friends’ dreams
and sees himself settling down
with a career type someday.
Yet he rarely picks that kind of
AKA
woman to date. ‘It’s intimidating
AKA is the Àrst
when a woman is beautiful and
to tell the world
about the latest successful, and she has her shit
launch/business together,’ he says. ‘I’m too nervous
venture/accolade to pursue her. What I want in
bae Bonang my head and what I go for are
Matheba has not usually aligned.’
scored. We love
For Jesse and guys like
the cheerleading!
him, in-the-moment feelings
of emasculation are overriding
stated dating preferences, says
psychologist Lora Park, lead
researcher of the University of
Buffalo study. When a man gets
face to face with how impressive
a woman is, he can feel
Cash Warren inadequate – so rather than ask
Cash has for her number, he’ll walk away.
gushed about Not to let guys off the hook,
his biz-savvy but much of this stuff is deeply
wife Jessica ingrained. Evolutionary behaviour
Alba. ‘She’s and traditional gender roles have
worked so hard. primed dudes to be competitive
I couldn’t be
more proud.’
and establish themselves as the
breadwinners. They can perceive
successful women as a threat to
their career goals. Or a man’s
subconscious might tell him he
can’t handle dating today’s super-
capable, financially independent
girl boss, says David Buss, an
evolutionary psychologist at the
University of Texas at Austin.
‘She’s more likely to leave the
relationship if she’s unhappy.
He can’t just rely on the fact
that he’s pulling in a paycheque
to keep her around.’
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 105
LOVE LUST
SHIFTING
into neutral
Some single women faced with
this situation keep on with their
bad selves, refusing to settle for
a BF who can’t appreciate their
accomplishments. Others, though,
tone down their ambition – or
even drop goals altogether – to
attract or keep a guy around.
Yi, 31, a finance professional,
learnt the hard way that the latter
can lead to bigger problems down
the line. She’d just been accepted
to study her master’s in another
city when she met a guy. After a
few happy months, he asked her
not to move, and she agreed to
defer her acceptance. ‘He said,
“If you give this up now, I will
support you in whatever you
want to do later,”’ she recalls.
But that never came true.
When she started vocalising
her career aspirations, he’d
throw out comments such as,
‘But who will make dinner?’
106 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017
He did want a smart wife, Yi
says – just not a successful one.
‘I stifled my dreams to make him
happy, and I never felt like myself.’
Of course, some women are
content to give up their career to
accommodate love – and there’s
nothing wrong with that. But
forgoing or subduing your dreams
for a man can breed resentment.
And you may be handing over the
majority of your ability to make
decisions in the relationship
because you’re signalling that
your partner’s desires override
yours, says economist Marina
Adshade, author of Dollars And
Sex: How Economics Influences
Sex And Love. Bottom line:
taming your ambition may
land you a boyfriend. However,
if you have a big vision of what
you hope to accomplish in your
career, there’s a strong chance
you won’t be satisfied for long.
FINDING
a happy balance
The good news? There are
guys who want to help you
chase success – and finding
them isn’t impossible. Look
for a man within a few years of
Black Coffee your age with similar interests,
He married recommends Adshade. Perhaps
TV star and that’s a Bumble match who
fashion designer claims to have just read your
Enhle Mbali favourite book, or a bachelor on
Mlotshwa in
your varsity course. Operating
2011. One
of our fave on similar intellectual levels
compliments will help ensure you have
that he’s paid an equal partnership – and
her? ‘In a world research indicates that partners
full of slayage, who have common mind-sets
thank you for
are the happiest, says Adshade.
remaining
grounded. Next, when you’re on the first
I’ve learnt a few dates, look for evidence that
lot from you.’ this is a person who will cheer
you on, suggests Susan Walsh,
dating expert and founder of
Hooking Up Smart. Most women
fail to evaluate this early on, but
it’s crucial if you want to sniff
out someone who’s only saying
he supports you. ‘Observe
whether he has specific curiosity
or feedback about your work,’
says Walsh. ‘If he’s genuinely
interested, his enthusiasm
will be obvious.’ A red flag?
‘If he doesn’t respond or just
gives you platitudes.’
But don’t dismiss him simply
because he shows that he’d like
to provide for you in small ways,
such as paying for the date or
making dinner. Of course you
can do these things for yourself
– but it could be that he’s trying
to show you affection. Those
type of acts, in any relationship,
are genderless.
Finally, join in trying to wake
the unwoke men. (And guys,
stop discounting female strivers
as GF prospects.) School the men
in your life who are still judging
dates by outdated biases. There
are perks to being with an
alpha female, and feelings
of emasculation should no
longer be holding men back
from the women they want.
At the same time, women
should get more comfortable
with the idea of being equal
partners – or being the alpha.
If you’re crushing it at work, a
man who has a less-demanding
schedule could be an ideal fit,
so it’s worth re-evaluating your
P H O T O G R A P H Y C H R I S C R AY M E R, G E T T Y I M A G E S , I N S TA G R A M
deal-breakers in terms of a guy’s
job and/or income. ‘It’s not that
you need to find a Mr Mom,’
says Adshade. ‘But someone
with career flexibility can fit in
well with your work-life balance.’
That cute male substitute teacher
may make a great match – even
for you, lady boss! ■
Jenna Birch is author of The Love
Gap (which will be released
in January 2018) – a guide for
modern women tackling today’s
complicated romantic landscape.
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
 COSMO
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Ask
Him
Any
Thing FHATUWANI
MUKHELI, OUR
GUY WITH ALL
Q/ I RECENTLY
WENT ON A
REALLY GREAT
FIRST DATE. WE
EVEN TALKED
THE ANSWERS, FUTURE PLANS.
WE WENT BACK
IS HERE TO HELP TO HIS PLACE
AND HAD SEX
… THEN I NEVER
Q/ There’s a cute ‘Have you seen and I disagree, but you feel HEARD FROM HIM
guy at the office, the milk?’ It’s he tells his dad, uncomfortable AGAIN. WHY?
and I keep catching an opportunity for who then acts as when the two of
him staring at me things to progress a mediator. I adore them discuss your A/ Because men can
even though we’ve beyond the cross- his father – but this relationship problems. be douches. There’s
barely spoken. office stares. Try is weird. Advice? His dad won’t always a good chance he
was just interested
I think he’s into twice – if he doesn’t be there, so it’s
in the sex and not
me – but how can take the conversation A/ Honesty is important for you so much in having
I tell for sure? further, leave him the best policy. and your man to a relationship with
to initiate things. Tell your BF that learn to sort out you. Some guys will
A/ Why not If he’s genuinely you don’t like your relationship even talk future plans
try to start up a interested, he’ll him talking to problems if it means having
conversation with make the effort. his dad about between you. a convo that might
him to see what the your relationship. move things along
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES

chemistry is like? It Q/ Whenever Make him aware physically. Move on

could be as simple my boyfriend that you dig his dad, and forget about him:
there are many other
as heading to the
men out there who’d
kitchen when he’s kill to be with you
GOT A QUESTION FOR OUR GUY? TWEET
making coffee, and – and not just once,
@COSMOPOLITANSA WITH #ASKHIMANYTHING
asking an innocent but in the long term.
question such as, OR E-MAIL COSMOPOLITAN@ASSOCMEDIA.CO.ZA You deserve better! ■

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 109

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SELL YOUR

1 PASSION
Think of your career
as your passion, rather
than just a job. This
is a lot easier when you
love what you do. Exude
enthusiasm for what you
do to earn a living and
allow the conversation to
flow naturally. Remember:
you’re talking to people
with shared interests.
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2 YOUR SKILLS
The expertise you
bring to an organisation
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requir at relate dir easier, sha traits you
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sets you apart from
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SELL YOUR a solid being a de nd wrong is conviction

3 EXPERIENCE
To be more precise,
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PHOTOGRAPHY ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

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 One-Track Mind
Read e-mails. Facebook. Go to toilet. Have irrelevant conversation
with colleague. When it comes to so-called ‘multitasking’, the struggle
is deÀnitely real. Which is why those in the know (the clever folks who
conducted a study at Stanford University) have proclaimed mono-tasking
the new multitasking. Apparently, the more we try to do at once, the
less able to get creative and develop emotional intelligence we become.
PHOTOGRAPHY AMY SLOANE TEXT AMY GRIER

The remedy? Avoid computers (yes, phones too!) for the Àrst hour of
the day, because studies show that time away from e-mail improves
focus – and do the task that involves the most concentration later in
the morning: research shows it’s when your body is at its optimum
temperature to aid cognitive thinking. Wearing a quilted onesie
all day does not yield the same results, apparently. ■
 GOOD DAY GETTING A SEAT ON
THE BUS. But not the
one beside the man with
his fly undone eating a Big
Mac. Being the chosen one
for the free coffee at your
local coffee shop. Thought
a good day at work was all
about the external? Wrong.
There is a way to take back
control – by scheduling
your day according to
science, so you can work
out the best way to do …
well, everything. Read on:
your new timetable awaits.

7.30am|AWAKE TO
COLDPLAY
Let Chris Martin wake
you up. (Not in that
way.) Music has been
shown to shake off that
sleepyhead fuzz. Music
psychologist David
Greenberg found that
Vida La Vida is the perfect
wake-up tune because it
has three crucial elements
for stirring brains: a slow
build, positive lyrics and
a strong tempo of 100 to
130 beats per minute. See
also Clean Bandit’s Rather

UA
Be if the idea of Coldplay
makes your brain hurt.

E
7.45am|STRETCH

RA N T E
OUT
G

D
You know your really
Zenned-out yogi friend?
She’s onto something
other than the ability
to scratch her nose
with her toe. A study
by the Indian Journal
Of Psychiatry tested
cortisol (the stress
FEEL LIK E YOU’RE ALWAYS CHASING YOUR TAIL? hormone) levels in
58 patients, and found
TURNS OUT THERE IS AN OPTIMUM TIME FOR E VERY TASK . they were significantly

MEE T THE CLE VER WAY TO STRUCTURE YOUR DAY

lowered in those who
practised yoga daily. The
BY GEMMA ASKHAM best move? Child’s pose.

112 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA


‘Having your head on the
ground brings pressure
to the vagus nerve which,
when stimulated, helps
trigger the “rest and digest”
part of our nervous system,
which lowers the levels of
cortisol,’ says Triyoga’s
Lucy McCarthy. Bring
on the chill.
9.35am|SORT YOUR
TO-DO LIST
This should be the first
thing you do when you
get to work. One study,
which looked at 35 years’
worth of task-setting
research, found that we
perform 15% better once
we’ve made concrete goals
that focus us. Give tasks a
‘you’ slant (such as saying,
‘If I get this all done today,
I can go for dinner this
evening’). It’s known
as intrinsic motivation,
and is a much firmer kick
up the bum than doing
things just because
someone’s told us to.
11am|TAKE
A BREAK
Good news: a morning
break will make you
more productive in the
afternoon. Professors
at Baylor University
surveyed 959 workers’
break times and found
that those who took
theirs in the morning
had more energy and
concentration than
those who took them
PHOTOGRAPHY ISTOCKPHOTO.COM
in the afternoon. Even
better news? You can
snack on dark chocolate
– studies show it boosts
everything from memory
to endorphins. We bloody
love science.
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
11.17am|GET BACK
TO WORK 12.04pm|GET
The optimum time for
SOCIAL
a break is 17 minutes.
A study by the University
of Toronto found that the
most productive employees
work consecutively for
52 minutes before taking
17 minutes off as a break
away from their screens.
Wrong time,
wrong place
REALLY BAD TIMES
TO DO THINGS
9am Meetings
Want to get everyone when
they’re bright-eyed? Sorry,
they’ll just ignore you.
Meeting-scheduling software
Whenisgood.netIRXQGWKDWÀUVW
thing is when fewest people
accept meetings. The plus side?
The conference room might be
free for a sly hangover nap.
1pm Make a cold call
Obviously nobody wants to be
bothered when they’re trying
to artsy-Instagram a sandwich
– but research by business
professor James Oldroyd showed
that this is the worst time to
receive these calls when he
scoured thousands of call-centre
ÀJXUHV,IVRPHRQHFDQWHOOXVD
good time, we’d love to know…
4pm Ask for a raise
Worked really hard this year?
Your boss will probably care
a lot less about you (and more
about their cold, hard budgets)
in the afternoon. A piece of
research called the ‘Morning
Morality Effect’ found that
adults indulged in more
unethical behaviour as
the day went on. That also
explains all the afternoon
biscuit stealing, then.
Never finish your to-do
list? Your phone could be to
blame. The average iPhone
user unlocks theirs 80 times
a day. (This rises to 130
for heavy users.) Experts
reckon it’s more efficient
to set a specific time for
phone checking, instead of
reacting to each notification.
To make the most out of
it (read: get more likes),
try a lunch-time ‘social
slot’. Hootsuite, a platform
for managing multiple
social media accounts,
and HubSpot, a marketing
firm, agree that 12pm to
3pm is the peak time for
Twitter interaction, and
12pm to 1pm for Instagram.
1.04pm|HIIT IT UP Big PM
meeting? Don’t spend your
lunch hour cramming – hit
the gym. Research by the
University of Bristol found
that those who exercised
during work had better
concentration, while John
Ratey, author of Spark: The
Revolutionary New Science
Of Exercise And The Brain,
says that the increased
blood flow causes a near-
instant brain boost. ‘Twenty
minutes of exercise just
before you take a test or
give a speech can improve
performance,’ he says. Just,
er, remember to shower…
3.10pm|HAVE A
MOCHA
Caffeine takes 20 minutes
to kick in, so time this
strategically. ‘If you have
a meeting you need to be
sharp for or a piece of work
that requires focus, use it as
a performance enhancer,’
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN
CAREER
says Nick Littlehales,
a sleep and productivity
expert. The best mug of
coffee? A mocha. A new
study by Clarkson University
found that the combination
of coffee and chocolate is
perfect for helping you stay
focused. It said nothing
about whipped cream…
4.05pm
BRAINSTORM
|
Embrace your inner
entrepreneur by exploring
new ideas when you’re
tired. Researchers split
participants into two
groups and set them two
types of creativity tests:
one measured insight (the
type of problem requiring
a leap into the unknown)
and the other analytical
ability (where you have to
work steadily towards an
answer), at different times.
Those who were unfocused
were much better at insight
tasks, and linking random
ideas to solve them. Bet you
the slanket was invented
at about 4pm!
6pm|CUT OFF
YOUR E-MAIL
Noticed that you get more
curt replies to e-mails you
fire off on your way home
from work? ‘You don’t want
people’s hearts to sink
when they get an e-mail
just as they’re switching
off because that will colour
their reply,’ says economist
Caroline Webb. That’s if
you get a reply at all – a
study of more than 500 000
e-mails found reply rates
are highest when e-mails
are sent in the morning.
Save it, and send it first
thing the next day. ■
113
CAREER
That way you’ll keep

‘Know going when you encounter

difficult situations or
people who can’t quite

Your
see your vision.

WORK ON YOUR
WEAKNESSES

Story BUT ALSO FOCUS

ON SHARPENING
YOUR STRENGTHS.

– And
I learnt this from one of
my bosses at an agency
I worked for. There was
a personal-development

Believe GUGU’S CV
plan for staff that focused
on improving your
strengths. This approach

in It’
made me a unique thinker
PRESENT and led to me discovering
Founder and CEO of Gugu
Intimates, which creates my business insight.
premium underwear for
WHEN SHE brown-skinned women ALWAYS KNOW
COULDN’T FIND Founder of Gugu Nkabinde WHAT YOU WANT
NUDE UNDERWEAR & Associates – a creative- TO ACHIEVE.
strategy consultancy servicing Early on in my career,
TO MATCH HER clients such as Exclusive I was challenged to ask
Books and SA Tourism
SKIN TONE, myself what I wanted
GUGU NKABINDE, MAY 2014 to accomplish in relation
TO APRIL 2016
33, LEFT THE Senior strategist at Joe
to each role I took on.
I’M INSPIRED It meant I tried not to
COMFORT OF BY SOLVING
Public United, servicing
spend a minute more
clients such as Nedbank,
HER MARKETING EVERYDAY Steers and Mahindra than I needed to on
JOB TO CREATE PROBLEMS. SEPTEMBER 2013 things that wouldn’t
IT HERSELF. People genuinely inspire TO APRIL 2014 develop my goals. It also
Marketing and
THE RESULT? me – how adaptive we are
communications
meant that I often bided
to the challenges we face, my time until I’d mastered
GUGU INTIMATES which always creates an
manager at Standard Bank
a particular skill that would
WAS BORN, AND opportunity for something AUGUST 2012 benefit my end goal.
WITH IT A RANGE new. Africa is bursting TO AUGUST 2013
Bacardi marketing manager
OF PREMIUM with problems that need STAY HUNGRY.
UNDERWEAR FOR solving and it inspires me JANUARY 2011 KEEP LEARNING.
to see how we are rising TO JULY 2012 There’s no limit to
BROWN-SKINNED to the challenge.
Castle Lite brand
what you can learn or
campaign manager
WOMEN. READ ON discover about yourself,
FOR THE LESSONS RESILIENCE IS JANUARY 2010
TO DECEMBER 2010
or the thing you’re most
SHE’S LEARNT AS A MUST IN THE Brand manager at passionate about. Never
AN ENTREPRENEUR ENTREPRENEURIAL Entyce Beverages stop seeking to learn more
GAME. and National Brands – invest in your personal
There will be many JANUARY 2007 development. I believe
‘nos’, and if you haven’t TO DECEMBER 2009 that too often we leave
sharpened your vision, Assistant brand manager the job of developing our
C O M P I L E D B Y L I S A K AT Z

these nos could take you
down before your ideas
even have the chance to
bolt through the door. Know
your story and make sure
others understand your ideas.
and acting brand manager
at Unilever
2006
Graduated from the University
of the Free State with a
degree in media studies
skills to our employers
when we enter the job
market. Surround yourself
with passionate, driven
people – that way you
won’t stagnate. ■

114 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

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116 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

 1559
Starting My New Job

Sign contract.
I should reread it again.
Or actually just read it.
change to invest in companies, with is the best way to find out about
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take – and how risky an investment be very curious and open-minded,’
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 COSMO
COMPETITION

WINTWO NIGHTS AT A LUXURY

CLIFTON VILLA FOR YOU
AND FIVE FRIENDS,
WORTH R47 300

D
ésir Intimate Collection, South Africa’s
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in partnership with COSMO and Capsol
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HERE’S WHAT THIS WEEKEND

TO REMEMBER CONSISTS OF:
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in Camps Bay, where you and your
friends will each have R1 000 to
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The prize must be redeemed on
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HOW TO ENTER DIAL *120*515# AND ENTER THE KEYWORD COSMOWIN

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PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES

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OF THE TRIBE
COMPETITION RULES: 1 The prize will go to the Àrst correct entry drawn by means of a random generator, making the selection completely fair and free of bias. 2 Only one entry per person
will be accepted, unless otherwise stated. 3 Entries close on 31 October 2017. 4 The outcome is Ànal; no correspondence will be entered into. 5 The winner will be notiÀed by means of the
contact details provided to us. If we are, or a third-party supplier is, unable to contact a winner within Àve working days, the winner will forfeit the prize. Associated Hearst reserves the right
to re-draw a new winner under the same conditions. 6 Staff members of Associated Hearst and its afÀliates, Désir Intimate Collection, Capsol Luxury Villas, their advertising and promotion
agencies and their immediate families may not enter. 7 The prize is not transferable and cannot be converted into cash. 8 By providing your contact details, you’re giving COSMOPOLITAN
permission to communicate with you via these channels. 9 No person may enter a competition hosted partly or in whole by COSMOPOLITAN within three months of winning any competition
hosted partly or in whole by COSMOPOLITAN. 10 For more terms and conditions, go to page 126 or visit Cosmopolitan.co.za/terms-conditions.
 Grab a
pre-made
base, then add
your own fresh
toppers!

#Pizza
GoalsCHEESY, SAUCY,
DROOL-WORTHY
SLICES BEG TO
BE SHARED –
ON SOCIAL AND
IRL. THE FOOD
’FLUENCERS
BEHIND INSTA’S
@NEW_FORK_CITY
DISH ON THEIR FAVE
PIZZAS – AND GIVE
YUMMY POINTERS
BY JESSICA GOODMAN
FOOD

Sweet ’n’
Sour Pizza
A combo of
sweet, spicy
and savoury
flavours – yum!
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WRPDWRHV
JPR]]DUHOOD
FKHHVHFRDUVHO\
Broccoli JUDWHG
Pizza JSHSSHURQLVDODPL
Roasted WKLQO\VOLFHG
broccoli is ôFXSSLFNOHG
best served MDODSHxRVVOLFHG
on top of grilled +RQH\WRWDVWH
pizza dough ✱ Spread tomatoes
1 cup small on pizza base and
EURFFROLÁRUHWV top with the cheese,
6HDVDOWDQGEODFN pepperoni/salami
SHSSHUWRWDVWH and jalapeños.
7ROLYHRLO ✱ Place on a
ôFXSFKRSSHG greased baking
WRPDWRHVVWUDLQHG tray, and bake at
JIUHVKEXIIDOR 260°C until crispy.
PR]]DUHOODVOLFHG Drizzle with honey.

✱ Toss broccoli,
salt and pepper
in 1T olive oil, and
roast in oven until Nail That #CheesePull
golden-brown. Getting a perfect pizza shot
✱ Brush top of
pizza base with ✱ Sweep remaining isn’t easy, but @New_Fork_City’s
½T olive oil, and oil over top, then turn Natalie Landsberg, Emily Morse
place on a grill at over. Grill, covered,
for another 2 minutes. and Gillian Presto are pros. Their
high heat, greased
side down. Cook, ✱ Spread tomatoes secret? ‘Make sure the cheese is
covered, until the over the crust, then warm enough to really stretch, like it would
top begins to bubble top with mozzarella
and the bottom and broccoli. Cover be in a piping-hot toasted-cheese sandwich.
becomes crisp and grill until the It makes for an envy-inspiring Insta post!’
(about 2 minutes). cheese melts.

120 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

E M I LY B R O O K LY N , N E W Y O R K ( S W E E T ’ N ’ S O U R ) ; F R A N K P E P E P I Z Z E R I A N A P O L E TA N A , N E W H A V E N ( M U S S E L ) ; M A X B R E N N E R , B O S T O N ( C H O C O L AT E )
PHOTOGRAPHY MIKE GARTEN FOOD STYLING MAGGIE RUGGIERO/HELLO ARTISTS RECIPES INSPIRED BY PIZZERIA MOZZA, LOS ANGELES (BROCCOLI);

Chocolate
Pizza
Its chocolate and
marshmallows
remind us of a
Mussel campfire treat
Pizza
Perfect 30g ground
bites of salty maize meal
mussels and 7EXWWHUPHOWHG
crunchy crust JGDUNFKRFRODWH
chopped
¾ cup Pecorino cheese JZKLWHFKRFRODWH
1T dried origanum ✱ Brush the base
chopped
18 mussels with the melted
15 marshmallows, butter and sprinkle
2 cloves garlic, halved
ÀQHO\FKRSSHG ✱ Dust a baking with dark and white
1 cup sliced chocolate. Top with
4T olive oil tray with maize
VWUDZEHUULHV marshmallows.
3DUVOH\DQGFKLOOL meal, and place
ÁDNHVWRWDVWH pizza base on top. ✱ Increase oven
Bake at 200°C for heat to 230°C. Bake
✱ Sprinkle cheese, 6 to 8 minutes. Use until marshmallows
origanum, mussels, a sharp knife to pop are golden-brown
garlic and 2T olive any air bubbles. (3 to 4 minutes).
oil on pizza base. ✱ Add sliced
✱ Place on a strawberries
greased baking before serving. ■
tray, and bake
at 260°C for 10
to 15 minutes.
✱ Dot with remaining
oil, parsley and chilli.

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 121

 CROATIA The 5 Instagram Posts
Worth Travelling for
WITH 8,4-MILLION INSTA POSTS FOR #CROATIA (AND COUNTING!),
THIS EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRY IS UP THERE WITH SOME OF THE MOST
INSTAGRAMMABLE LOCATIONS IN THE WORLD. IT’S ALSO ONE OF THE MAIN
FILMING LOCATIONS FOR GAME OF THRONES. GIVE YOUR FOLLOWERS
WANDERLUST BY SNAPPING THE BEST SHOTS WITH OUR GUIDE
BY SARAH BROWNING-DE VILLIERS

1&+$6(:$7(5)$//6$73/,79,ÿ(
LAKES NATIONAL PARK
The shades of blue and turquoise of
the lakes here will leave you in awe –
no filter needed. Everywhere you turn
at this national park there’s a perfect
pic, from a 78m-high waterfall to lakes
so clear you can snap the scales of the
trout swimming in them. Entry from
R230pp. Np-plitvicka-jezera.hr/en/
BUDGET Catch a bus from Split to PlitviĀe (from
R300 one way), grab a map at the park entrance
and follow the clearly marked routes through the
park. Make sure you do the routes around the
Upper Lakes, Lower Lakes and Large Waterfall.
BLOWOUT Book a guided tour (from R1 200pp)
that picks you up in Split, drives you to the lakes
and guides you around the route. The guides
will also typically point out interesting views
and historical buildings during the three-and-
a-half-hour drive to the park.

@ sar ah m ar yb ro wn ing
2 SNAP DUBROVNIK’S OLD TOWN
FROM EVERY ANGLE
The setting for King’s Landing in
GOT, Dubrovnik’s Old Town sits
on the Adriatic Sea coastline and
dates back to the seventh century.
The red-tiled roofs and impressive
stone buildings are just some of the
reasons why this city is a UNESCO
World Heritage Site. Hands down
the best way to see the town and
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA
TRAVEL
3 GET UNBELIEVABLE AZURE SEA
SNAPS AT BLUE CAVE, SPLIT
This remote cave’s glowing blue
water looks almost supernatural,
and lives up to all the tourist hype.
You can only access the cave by boat
– but the pictures you capture will
be worth it.
BUDGET There isn’t an easy way around
paying for a pricey guided boat trip to get
from Split to the Blue Cave, since the cave
is off the remote island Biševo. Save money
by choosing a less-extensive trip (three
En jo y sn o rk e lleinr g
islands instead of the popularly advertised
in cl e a r w at
Àve, R1 300pp), saving you about R500.
BLOWOUT Book a Àve-island boat trip to
make the most of the day (from R1 800pp).
They’ll not only take you on a speedboat
from Split to the Blue Cave, they’ll stand
in the queue for you for Blue Cave tickets
(while you carry on island-hopping) – and
you’ll also stop off at ports such as Hvar,
Àlled with luxury yachts, and plenty more
Insta-worthy spots. Try to book a tour that
offers snorkelling, so you can really enjoy the
incredibly clear, clean and bright-blue sea.
H is t o r ic h o m e’ss
in D u b ro v n ik
O ld To w n
the surrounding coastline is by
walking the two kilometres of city
walls, which encircle the whole town.
BUDGET Pay the entrance fee (about
R240pp) and walk the city walls yourself.
Just get there early to avoid the heat
– and the crowds.
BLOWOUT Enlist the help of a tour guide
(we loved Dubrovnik Walks, from R250pp
plus R240pp entrance fee) to give you a full
rundown of the city’s history as you walk.
OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 123
4 GET A BIRD’S-EYE
VIEW OF DUBROVNIK
A cable car takes you up to Srd Hill, overlooking
Old Town and the sparkling Adriatic Sea. It’s the
site of a defensive fort, so on a clear day you can
see up to 60km away – including the islands
dotted along the coast.
BUDGET Hike the route up under the cable car to save
bucks. (It takes about an hour, and it’s steep). Reward
yourself with a frozen margarita (R180) at Panorama
Restaurant & Bar at the top. There are picnic spots
if you want to take your own food.
BLOWOUT Catch the cable car (R300 per round trip;
s fr o m
# V ie w sF o rD ayr an t & Bar
Dubrovnikcablecar.com) and enjoy dinner on top with
breathtaking views over the city. Start with sundowners
at Panorama (it gets busy, so book ahead) before tucking Pan o r a m a R e st a u
into the local speciality: Dalmatian Trilogy (octopus,
marinated shrimps and marinated anchovies, R320),
followed by the tuna Àllet (R500). A front-row seat to
sunset over the city more than enough photo ops!
5 GOAT DIOCLETIAN’S
BACK IN TIME
PALACE, SPLIT
It’s a must-visit for history lovers. Diocletian
Nautikarestaurants.com
was the only Roman emperor to retire – and this
is his epic retirement pad, including cathedrals,

P H O T O G R A P H Y G E T T Y I M A G E S , S A R A H B R O W N I N G - D E V I L L I E R S , I S T O C K P H O T O. C O M P R I C E S C O R R E C T AT T I M E O F G O I N G T O P R E S S
vast underground rooms, cobbled streets and
ancient Roman temples.
BUDGET You can walk around the walled town of the
palace for free, but almost every building has an entrance
fee. The ones worth paying to see? The Basement (about
R80pp) – GOT fans, this is where Dany kept her dragons
in Meereen – and the St Domnius Cathedral bell tower,
which you can climb for giddying views (about R50pp).
Th e (s li g h t ly BLOWOUT Walking tours are the best way to see key
d iz z y in g) spots and hear about their impressive history (from

S t D o m n iu s R250pp). To savour the local feel and Áavour, dine at

NEED TO KNOW
GETTING THERE Fly from
Jo’burg to Dubrovnik from
R10 000pp return. You can
also Áy to Split for R10 000pp
return. Buses run regularly
between Split and Dubrovnik:
the trip takes four to six hours
(depending on the route) and
is about R220pp one way.
BEST TIME TO GO August is
high summer – but that means
b e ll t o w e r
big crowds, too. Rather try
June or September to catch
the heat but avoid Europe’s
school-holiday season.
WEATHER Summer (June to
September) is deÀnitely the best
time to go, although temperatures
can reach 40°C during the day,
with slight humidity. June (22°C
average) and September (20°C
average) are more pleasant.
O’zlata, famed for its quirky take on classic Croatian
tastes. The Insta-worthy Old Town setting is eclipsed
by a delish menu: try the swordÀsh carpaccio (R190)
and the white-Àsh Àlet with almonds, roasted-shrimp
sauce, Swiss chard, fava beans and cherry tomatoes
(R400). The trufÁe ice cream with hazelnut crumble,
chocolate soufÁé and pear cream (R110) is a perfect
ending. Facebook.com/ozlatarestaurantbar
CURRENCY Kuna is Croatia’s R1 000 (plus courier fees) and
currency, with some (but not takes 21 working days to receive
all) places accepting euros. through the Croatian embassy.
At time of print, one kuna FOOD Known as Dalmatian,
(HRK) was about R2,10, Croatian fare is seafood-based
making it hugely preferable – one of the healthiest diets in
to European countries that use the world. Expect a variety of Àsh
the euro (Ą1 R15,60), or the and shellÀsh, potatoes, tomato-
UK’s scary R16,90 for …1 rate. based salads and green veg. Skip
VISA South Africans require a the wine: it’s expensive – and
Croatian visa, which costs about nowhere near as good as ours! ■

124 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

 COSMO

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 HOROSCOPES
Venu s a nd M a r s i nt er ac t w it h t he F u l l Mo on on t he 5t h , pl ac i ng a s p o t l ight on i f f y
rel at ion sh ip s. Jupiter moves i nt o money-fo c u se d S c or pio on t he 10 t h . E x a m i ne
you r budget , a nd a s su me c ont rol of you r ba n k ba l a nc e. BY AURORA TOWER @AURORAASTRO

2 3 / 10 – 2 1 / 11 2 2 / 11 – 2 1 / 1 2 2 2 / 1 2 –19 / 0 1 2 0 / 0 1 –18 / 0 2 19 / 0 2 – 2 0 / 0 3 21 /0 3 – 2 0/0 4

SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES

You may meet The Full Moon Hear that? Been fretting Someone With a stack of
a hot man on on the 5th will It’s the sound over the state important planets in your
FREIDA the 1st, when bring about a of things clicking of your wallet? will enter relationships zone,
PINTO your two co-rulers, hot new boy toy. into place. The The 3rd is ideal your work or a focus on your
18/10 assertive Mars But keep work 14th is a fortunate to seek Ànancial romantic world loved ones will be
and intense Pluto, at the forefront: day, when Venus advice. Jupiter and shake things rewarded. You’ll
work magic on the spotlight is slides into your arrives in your up. Be optimistic, realise work goals
2 3 / 0 9 – 2 2 / 10 your behalf. On on you, and major zone of fame triumphant zone especially on the on the 5th, when
the 10th, Jupiter wins could lead and success, on the 10th, 5th, when Venus the Full Moon is
LIBRA moves into your to big career ups. so be prepared which may and Mars enter in your sign. Your
STELLAR GIFTS sign for the Àrst Take time to revel to take a leap. signal a fab your relationships love life will heat
Words are your time in years in your successes On the 27th, start new career zone. The 24th up too – but stay
thing: you can talk – this is the on the 22nd. a creative project. gig. Seize the is ideal for trying focused by getting
yourself out of (or moment to make YOU NEED YOU NEED chance to dazzle something new. organised around
into) any situation. dreams a reality. Nights out To appreciate your boss. YOU NEED the 22nd.
BLIND SPOTS YOU NEED to network how far you YOU NEED Clarity about YOU NEED
You have tons of To tie up like a boss. have come. To enjoy the your goals. Allies! Don’t
interests but can loose ends. SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN unexpected. PISCES GUY go it alone.
spread yourself SCORPIO GUY GUY GUY AQUARIUS GUY He craves just- ARIES GUY
a bit thin. Your vibes dictate He’s on a hot Work is taking He’s up for the-two-of-you Homeboy is
YOUR MONTH his mood: stay streak. Enjoy over his life – anything – so time so you can Áaking hard. Call
This October has a upbeat, and the bedroom steamy time plan a remote talk … among him out and he’ll
hurry-up-and-wait fun will follow. Àreworks! together is key. getaway ASAP. other things. make it up to you.
vibe that’s making
you feel restless.
But an epiphany
during the Full
Moon on the 5th
will help set new
projects in motion. 21 /0 4 – 21 /0 5 22/05 –20/06 21 /0 6 – 2 2 /07 23/07–22 /08 23/08 –22/09
Jupiter moves into
your Ànancial zone TAURUS GEMINI CANCER LEO VIRGO
on the 10th – save Sultry Venus The arrangement Is drama at home You like to stay You’ll be on Àre
extra moolah until unites with her of planets in your keeping you up super-busy – and after your birthday,
the 26th, a perfect cosmic lover Mars love zone makes at night? If you’re this month life will and things will hit
day to treat yo’self. in your sign on the your social life thinking of moving, be warp-speed. a thrilling climax
YOUR YEAR 5th, making this sizzle. The 15th is this is the time – Your perseverance on the 5th, when
You’ve been on a a smouldering ideal to brainstorm but the journey may be rewarded active Mars and
lucky streak since month for love. big life plans, as may not be easy, with a bonus, so loving Venus
October 2016,
thanks to Jupiter’s
The 26th will be
an extra-hot day,
smart Mercury’s
opposition to
so beware of
bumps. On the
splurge on some
sweet swag. Big
unite in your sign.
By the end of the LIBRA
presence in your
sign. Now it’s time
so be bold and
ask him for what
visionary Uranus
revs your creative
14th, things will
smooth out when
ideas may lead
to breakthroughs
month, your social
calendar will be GUY
to decide which you want. Explore Áow. Be open on Venus hits your around the 15th. full – and on the
opportunities your fantasies – the 22nd: a new domestic zone. Enjoy nesting time 29th, someone Ne-Yo
you truly want you’ll never know guy may put you Host a party, and towards the end of you meet at a 18 / 10
to pursue. Look unless you try! on cloud nine. get ready for love! the month, then party may rock
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES

forward to April YOU NEED YOU NEED YOU NEED throw an epic your world. LOVES
and June, colossal To trust your gut. Chilled downtime. A quiet and happy Halloween bash. YOU NEED A curious partner
months for heart- home base. YOU NEED Strength to stick who can get just
eye-emoji romance. TAURUS GUY GEMINI GUY
The stars are His great mood CANCER GUY To pace yourself. to your guns. about anyone
YOU NEED aligned for him RN. is contagious – His life is chaotic LEO GUY VIRGO GUY to open up.
To be realistic His good luck could and he’s using but the mess isn’t He’s going in a He’s not the best HATES
with expectations. lead to a positive his extra energy about you. Little million directions – mind-reader. Ask Micromanagers
BEST MATCHES breakthrough to make you feel things you do will a cosy night à deux for the QT you need who stiÁe
Gemini and Aries. for you two. oh-so-good too. cheer him up. will help him focus. and he’ll be there! his creativity.

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA OCTOBER 2017 | COSMOPOLITAN 127

QUIZ

THE BREAKDOWN

Do You MOSTLY As
BURNED OUT
Current status:
system overload.

Need a From social

Recharge?
obligations to work
responsibilities,
you’re totally spent
– and thanks to
technology, there’s
no escape. Get
outta town! A
Wi-Fi-free retreat
will let you reset
so you can handle
life’s obstacles
like a champ.

MOSTLY Bs
RUNNING
ON ALMOST-
EMPTY
You’re always
helping people
Ànd Zen but
routinely ignoring
yourself. Put
others’ problems
on hold, and
evaluate your
wellbeing. Some
me-time will
reveal that you’ve

5 You
been neglecting
1 Your 2 What’s 3 When 4 When was your own issues.
gym routine for dinner? the weekend the last time can’t go to Tackle those and
you’ll be an even
includes… a) That last comes, you use you did nothing bed without… better friend.
a) Hitting slice of bread your laptop… for 10 minutes? a) First dozing
the sauna for (it’s only a bit off on the couch,
a) All day, every a) Way back Mostly Cs
a quick cry. stale) and an shoes on, hand in
day. You’ve even in the dinosaur FULL OF LIFE
PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES COMPILED BY HELEN ZOOK
Tears or beads IV drip of Pinot. a Doritos bag, Àve
started using it age – like between You’re so plugged
of sweat? They’ll b) Not sure. as a heating pad episodes of Barney minutes into trying in to your limits
never know. Your work wife for period cramps. & Friends. to catch up on GOT. that you never
b) Pestering needs to unload b) Checking overexert yourself.
b) When your b) Hard to say. Use that vitality to
the staff to spritz at happy hour, in on your friends’
roomie needs a lunch Does being on hold make the most of
the towels with so you’ll Àgure passion projects
recommendation. with tech support every opportunity.
rose oil. That something out on Instagram.
You’re a Zomato for Grandma’s Invest extra energy
weight-rack crew afterwards. c) Closing the
wizard. iPad count? in a speciÀc area
seems tense. c) The latest blinds, locking the of your life (your
c) As a coaster. c) Just this relationship, your
c) A brisk walk from your fave
Haters say it’s morning! You hacked
door and silencing
on the treadmill – gourmet meal your phone. Your side hustle) – and
antiquated to your computer don’t forget to
exactly what you service. You lair turns into a
stay ofÁine – but so it goes into keep planning
need to unwind. don’t do dishes. safe room every
guess who still sleep mode time to chillax. ■
night at 10.
has 20/20 vision? once every hour.

128 COSMOPOLITAN | OCTOBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA

PHOTOGRAPHER ZAID JOSEPH

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