Contents

Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
Why Use Tinder?
Your Profile - or The Thing No One Reads
Social Media and Tinder
Always Get a Body Shot
Tinder Settings
Messaging
The First Date
Date Conversation and Body Language
The Good Night Kiss
Sex
Closing Thoughts and Ramblings
About The Author
 TINDER DATING SECRETS UNCENSORED

Tips, Tricks, and Secrets for Meeting, Attracting, Dating, and Hooking Up
Using Tinder

by Chris Conn
Copyright © 2015 Chris Conn
All rights reserved.

Written By Chris Conn

Being successful on Tinder is not as hard as some people make it out to be.
It really doesn't matter what your ultimate goal is. It doesn't matter if you
are looking to date, or only looking to hook up. The secret to success on
Tinder is quite simple really. It comes down to two just two simple rules. I
am not even going to make you wait until the end of the book. I will tell
you now.

The Two Main Rules to Being Successful on Tinder are...

1. Be Attractive
2. Don't be unattractive.

That's it. It all seems pretty simple, right?

Now before you go and give me a one star review or demand Amazon for a
refund, I am only kidding. Well...sort of.
If you are a very attractive person, you will definitely have an easier time in
obtaining success on Tinder. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, then you just
need to put a little more effort in to stand out from the other average guys
on Tinder.
The purpose of my book is to give you the tools needed to successful in
meeting, dating, attracting, and sleeping with attractive women.
Before writing this book, I did a lot of research. I read at least 10 books
giving advice on Tinder. I was taken aback by how much bullshit that there
is out there. Some books claimed that with their help, you will be hooking
up with hot chick every night. Other authors claimed that they went from
nerds to fighting beautiful women off with sticks overnight.
This book is not going to try to feed you a line of bullshit. I am not going to
guarantee that you will hook up with beautiful women every night. No one
actually can. I can guarantee you that anyone can increase their success on
Tinder if you just know some of the tricks.
The advice from this book comes from a 35 year old divorced single dad
who has had success on Tinder despite having "baggage". In six months
time, I have gone on about 25 Tinder dates. I have slept with 20 of these
women and dated a few. I have dated women ranging from ages 23 to 40. In
fact, my current girlfriend is from Tinder.
I have had no issue getting a date off Tinder. I have had so many matches I
had to be selective. At one time I had almost 1000 matches. I probably
talked to over 200 or so of these women. The only limitation I had was time
and money.
I am not saying all this to brag. I am trying to point out that if I can do it,
anyone can. We all have hang-ups and issues. The key is to accentuate your
positive aspects and downplay your negative ones.
In this book I will not only give you tips, but I will give you proof of my
success. I have even included my personal screen shots. I think it is
important that you see that this advice in genuine. I truly want to help guys
out. When I started I didn't have greatest success. It was frustrating. I was
able to change and use the methods in this book to have great success. I also
failed along the way. That's why I have included screen shots of some of my
greatest failures too.
Why Use Tinder?
Let me start off by telling you a little about myself. I was 34 years old when
my divorce was final. I had been with my ex wife for well over 13 years. I
wasn't even sure I remembered anything about dating. I was a 34 year old
single dad with 3 kids back on the dating scene. I started reading blogs,
message boards, and any kind of information on dating I could get my
hands on. I researched dating like it was my full-time job.
I am sure some of you younger guys might be thinking, "What does this
have to do with me old man?" I think it's important to show you that
anyone can have success on Tinder, even someone with baggage like me.
You just have to know how to work the system.
I have used Tinder to hookup and to actually date. I had success with both
methods.
Tinder is great for many reasons. It cuts out a lot of the bullshit that other
dating sites have. Tinder doesn't require you to fill out a thousand question
survey like OK Cupid. You don't have complete a 1000 word profile either.
Tinder is also great because it is location and GPS based as well. You can
meet women based on how far you are willing to drive. Tinder can also be
used when you travel as well. You can meet women close by no matter
where you are.
Probably the best thing about Tinder is the actual matching system. You
cannot message anyone unless you both match. This is great because it
saves a lot of time and headache. You aren't getting messages from people
you don't like, and you aren't messaging people that aren't interested in you.
This keeps you from wasting time. It also prevents this from happening...
Your Profile
If you are already on Tinder and have been using it, then here is my first tip.
You need to delete your Tinder account. I don't mean log out of it. You need
to totally delete and deactivate your account. Before you do this, make sure
you get the numbers of anyone currently on your match list that you are
interested in. When you delete/deactivate your account you lose all your
matches.
Why do this?
Because this will reset your Tinder feed. It will essentially give you a
second chance with all the women in your area.
Once you sign up for Tinder again. You will use the advice in the next few
chapters on how to maximize the effectiveness of your profile.
Photo's
I don't care what any other author or so called Tinder expert says, Tinder is
first and foremost an appearance based app. I was shocked to see so many
authors refer to your profile blurb being the most important part of your
profile. This couldn't be further from the truth. I had great success on Tinder
without even writing one word on my profile.
This means that the most important aspect of your profile is going to be
your profile pictures. You especially need to focus on having a great main
profile photo. The truth is that most women will only use the first photo
they see to make a decision. If you have a bad main picture, they will swipe
left without even batting an eye. If a woman is iffy on you, she will then
probably check out your other pictures.
So, having good pictures is essential to having great success on Tinder.
If you have done any kind of online dating, you probably have found out
that pictures can be deceiving. A bad picture can make an attractive person
look bad. On the flip side, a really good picture can make someone less
attractive look good.
Your main profile picture should be of just you. I would avoid selfies for
your main photo. I made that mistake at first. Here is an example of that.

I played it off very well, but you are putting yourself at a disadvantage by
having one. Some women will automatically swipe right if they see that you
took a selfie or a bathroom mirror photo.
You might be saying, "What do I do if I don't have a good single photo of
myself?" This is not a problem. I suggest two things.
1. Have a friend take a photo of you. This may seem like a weird
request, but just ask a good friend when you are out or even hanging
out at your house. Asking a coworker is another option. Also, if you
have a female friend, ask her. She can be a good judge on how to take
the best shot of you.
2. If you have no friends or are too embarrassed to ask, just take a
photo yourself. To avoid it looking like a selfie, just set the auto timer
on your camera. Even most camera apps on phones have a timer
setting. Try to take it outdoors as well, just avoid taking one in your
bathroom or bedroom.
If you still don't think you are attractive, then try to find pictures that
accentuate your good qualities. If you are good at sports, use a photo of you
being active. Love the outdoors? Then take an outdoorsy photo.
Here are a few examples of good photo options.
1. Group shot with friend. Although, I would not use this as your main
photo.
2. A photo of you in a suit.
3. A photo of you and other women. This shows social proof and that
you are appealing to the opposite sex.
4. Outdoor or action photos.
5. A non serious or goofy picture

Profile and Tag Line

I am going to flat out tell you that this is not super important, but it can only
help. My main tip is to keep it short and sweet. Also try to put a little humor
in there as well. I didn't even have a profile or tag line and I still had
success. If you feel you aren't super attractive though, this is an opportunity
to show your charming or witty side.
Social Media and Tinder
Facebook Linking
As you probably know, Tinder links to your Facebook account. Tinder uses
Facebook to access your photos, friends list, and likes.
Mutual Friends
I have mixed feelings about the access to your friends list. I think this can
be great if you are actually looking to date or potentially have a
relationship. Matching with women mutual friends can make it easier to get
to know someone. You can also ask mutual friends about her and she can do
the same with you.
I think it's a bad idea if you are solely trying to hookup. What if one of
these hookups ends in a bad way? You can quickly start getting a bad
reputation with some of your Facebook friends. This is really bad for when
you eventually want to start dating. What if someone you really like gets
told by a mutual friend that you are just a player?
Photos
Currently the only way to upload photos to Tinder is by letting Tinder
access your Facebook photos. I was a little uneasy about this at first. I didn't
want to all of a sudden upload a bunch of selfies and pictures of myself on
to Facebook. I figured my friends would think I was either vain or just an
idiot.
One way around this is to upload a photo, but be sure to choose the option
that it is only visible to you. This will allow you to add photos without them
showing up on your timeline or without notifying anyone else.
Likes
This is the one aspect of the linking to Facebook that can really help your
game. Having mutual likes can help your game tremendously. It gives you
something common that you can bring up and have a conversation with. My
advice is to like as many things as possible. Also, choose a few things you
think a woman might like.
Fake Facebook Account
Yes, a fake Facebook account. This is one option if you don't want anyone
having access to your real Facebook account. In fact, my Tinder account is
linked to my fake Facebook account. You can set one up with a different
last name like I did. This keeps you from showing up in a search and people
seeing you have two different accounts.
Social Media Accounts in General
Don't add anyone at first to any of your social media accounts. There is
definitely a list of apps/sites that you should not add anyone on at first. This
includes Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and especially LinkedIn. Do you
really want some crazy chick you didn't call back knowing where you
work? Trust me on this, there is a lot of crazy out there.
You might be wondering why linking to a woman's social media account is
such a bad idea. We all know that women are obsessed with social media.
Don't we want to be able to connect with them? Shouldn't we feel honored
that this beautiful woman wants to add us as a "friend"?
The answer is not just no...it's HELL NO. Especially with someone you
haven't even met yet or have only seen a few times. I made this mistake
plenty of time when first starting out.
First of all you it allows them too much access into your personal life. You
should try to at least be a little mysterious at first. Do you really want a
woman you don't really know having access to your friends and family.
Most women will immediately begin to Facebook stalk you once added. I
have had female friends admit to me that they have spent hours looking
through a guy's Facebook account.
It will also complicate things if you are trying to date multiple women. Do
you really want to have to explain to Chick A why you were tagged by
Chick B downtown the other night? Especially, when you said you were
hanging with the guys.
There are a few apps and social media sites that I would definitely
recommend. Two of the most popular apps that women love that I consider
safe are Snapchat and Kik.
I am sure most of you are aware of what Snapchat is, so I won't go into
great detail. Snapchat is a simple app that allows you to send pictures or
messages to another user or multiple users. The beauty in Snapchat is that
you can set the picture to "self destruct" in a specified time frame. It is
usually somewhere between 3 to 10 seconds for most women I've
encountered.
Snapchat also is a great tool if you are trying to escalate the conversation
towards sex. Women are more inclined to share risqué photos through
Snapchat because it feels less permanent to them. This doesn't mean to
download Snapchat and start sending out unsolicited dick shots or ask for
nudes right away. You have to learn to ease your way into it. We will go
over this in more detail in the text escalation section of the book.
Kik is also another safe tool. Kik is basically a text messaging app. Instead
of using a phone number, you sign up for a user name. It's mainly for
women who are uneasy about giving a stranger their number right away.
90% of the women who I have asked for their number have given it to me
with no problem. There are a few though that are a little more hesitant and
prefer Kik. That's why I think it's a good idea to have this app already
downloaded and as part of your arsenal.
Always Get a Body Shot
This is one of the most important lessons that you can definitely end up
learning the hard way. I am not trying to be insensitive. I understand that
there is more to beauty than outside appearance. Let's be honest thought, we
are talking about Tinder here.
If a woman does not have a full body shot in her profile, it should be
considered a giant red flag. I feel inclined to mention that I love a woman
with curves. I am not into the stick figure type women. There is a big
difference between being curvy and being obese.
I have found this out the hard way. Let me tell you about Laura. Laura was
a woman I met over Tinder in the summer of 2014. She had a very beautiful
face and seemed like an all around cool chick. She had even said that she
realized she didn't have any body shots, but for me to not to worry. She told
me she was curvy, but in a way that most guys didn't mind. She told me she
had no complaints before.
Let's take a second to discuss the term "curvy". Pardon the pun, but the term
curvy has taken on a completely different shape in terms of online dating.
Curvy used to mean curvy, like an hour glass figure. A curvy woman may
be slightly overweight, but usually in all the right places. In my opinion,
there is nothing wrong with being curvy or having a few extra pounds.
Curvy now means fat, obese, overweight, BBW, etc. It has become so bad
now that real curvy women are afraid to put that on dating profile. The
reason for this is because they are afraid that men will think they are fat. I
have had two friends of mine admit this to me. So, be cautious of the word
curvy.
Back to the story...
We met at a local downtown bar about 10 minutes from my house. On the
way to the bar, she sent me a text telling me she was already at the bar. I
usually try to be the first one to show up, but I was held up late at work.
Once I arrived inside the bar, I immediately spotted her. To say I was
disappointed would be a gross understatement. She was probably 250 to
300lbs. She might have been curvy, but it was one big curve. I started to
wonder if she hired George Lucas to take her pictures, because there had to
be some serious special effects going on there. She did not look anything
like her pictures.
At this moment in time, I had only two options. Option 1 was to make a
run for it. While this seemed to be the easier option, I really didn't want to
hurt her feelings. Option 2 was to just go with it. It was only one date. Plus,
I didn't have any other plans for the evening. So to quote the great Ron
Burgandy, I thought "When in Rome...".
I walked up to the bar said hello and gave her a hug. We ended up grabbing
a booth. She proceeded to sit down right beside me in the booth and
immediately became very touchy and aggressive. She suggested that we
finish up and head to another bar with pool tables.
On the way to her car, she stopped me in front of this large oak tree. She
said, "I want you to kiss me beneath this tree." Again, I just went with it.
At the bar I received a text from an ex girlfriend, Nicole. Nicole and I had
still remained friends even though we had broken up a year earlier. Nicole
asked me how my date was going. I told her not so great. I told her that she
looked nothing like her profile pictures. Nicole responded by saying, "That
sucks. On the bright side, my friend Jackson and I are at this really cool
bar." I put my phone away and left the bathroom to find Laura.
Laura and I decided to check out the other room in the bar with the pool
tables. As luck would have it, there was my ex-girlfriend Nicole sitting at
the bar. Her eyes were wide open and she was trying not to laugh at me.
She would later tell me she kept looking at Laura and the profile photos that
I had sent her earlier in the day. She told me she looked nothing like them in
her opinion. She thought that I should have just walked out in the
beginning.
The date ended up being very awkward and seemed to last forever. The next
day, I sent her a text telling her that I had a nice time, but I wasn't interested
in pursuing anything further. Laura did not take it well. She said, "Well I
just wasn't as pretty as your ex." I just left it at that.
The moral of the story is that although she did not represent herself
honestly, I still should have not proceeded without a full body shot. I may
sound like a complete asshole, but I am just being honest. If you don't have
a baseline for attraction, it is never going to work.
Tinder TIP: This tip is kind of tongue and cheek, but is valid most of
the time. Whenever the girl has only group shot photos, 90% of the
time she is the less attractive one in the picture.
Tinder Settings
Distance
Since Tinder is a GPS enabled app, one of the most important settings is the
distance setting. Tinder allows you the option to set your distance
preference from 1 to 100 miles away. There are a few schools of thought on
this.
Some prefer to set up a large mileage range. The farther you set the distance
range, the larger variety of people will be available as matches. This is
pretty obvious. The main problem with this method is the time and gas
money you could waste meeting someone 50 to 100 miles away from you.
You could just offer to meet halfway, right? If your goal for Tinder is to
hookup, you would want to avoid this. You should be trying to set up the
date either close to yours or her place. The meet halfway option defeats the
purpose.
I would suggest setting up a tighter distance area first. If you find you don't
get a lot of results close by, just keep moving the mileage limit higher. I
would suggest starting with a 10 mile limit, and work your way up from
there.
Age Setting
Tinder gives you the option of setting up an age range of 18 to 50. This is
more of a personal preference than anything. When I started Tinder I was
34 years old. I set my age range wide open. I seemed to have my best
success in the age range of 27 to 35.
If you are just looking for hookups, I would suggest you set the age limit
wide open. Why limit your options? There are a lot of beautiful women in
the 30-50 range. Let me let you in on a little secret, the 30 to 40 year old
range are some of the more sexually experience and horny women you will
find. A lot of these women are fresh off divorce and are out looking to
relieve their wild youth.
If you are using Tinder for a relationship, I would be a little more select. If
you are a young guy in your 20's, you might want to avoid the 30 to 50 year
old crowd. This crowd includes women with a lot of baggage and drama.
You are better off looking for people closer to your age.

Tinder TIP- If you find yourself running out of women on your Tinder
feed, there is a way to bring up more potential matches without waiting
for later. If you adjust the distance setting, it will load more women in
your feed. This works even if you only change it by a mile. It seems to
refresh the feed.
Sex Settings
Before you ask, this means gender setting. There is no option to filter
women by what sexual acts they will perform. Sorry guys, there is no anal
or oral option to filter by.
This will seems simple, but just make sure you have this set correctly.
Tinder does give you the option of choosing to look for men, women, or
both. The funny thing is that I will still get a random guy through my feed
at times. One disadvantage to swiping right on everyone is that you might
match up with someone of the opposite sex.
There are two ways that guys seem to select matches on Tinder. The
majority of men I have talked to will just swipe right on every person. They
will not even look at the profiles. They will just swipe right as quick as
possible until the feed is clear. The advantage to this method is that it will
give you the most set of matches, although some of these matches will be
women you don't find attractive.
The other method is to actually judge each individual result. This method
does take more effort, but it doesn't clog your match result list with women
you don't find attractive.
I would suggest just swiping right on everyone. Not only will it give you
more options, you will also avoid accidentally swiping left on someone you
like. I had done this in the past. Once you swipe left on someone, they are
gone for good. The only way you might see them again on your feed is if
you delete and restart your account, or they do the same.
The First Message
So you've got a match, now what? Getting matched in the first place is only
part of the battle. That's actually the easier part. The messaging process is
the most important and difficult part. Saying the wrong thing can quickly
end your chances with a potential date.
Some women will actually message you first. This is great.
The first message is the most important. 90% of the guys on Tinder will
send a message consisting of...

"Hi"
"Hey"
"What's up?"
"DTF?"
"Hey Sexy"
"Hey beautiful"
Don't be like these guys. Women get hundreds of messages like this. You
want to stand out. Put a little thought into your first message. Below are a
few examples of types of messages to send at first.
1. Send a witty or funny message.
2. Compliment her. Don't just say they are beautiful, compliment
something specific. Tell her she has a beautiful smile, eyes, etc.
3. Comment on something particular in her photos or profile. This
shows her that you actually took time to look at her profile and that
you are sending a true personalized message to her.
I am going to give you a few examples of lines that I found to work very
well.
 1. Hi (Insert Name). It looks like we won this Tinder thing. So, what's
the prize? ;)
2. You have way too pretty of a smile not to at least say hi.
3. Do you believe in love at first swipe?
4. Hey, how does this thing work? Are we dating now?
5. What's your favorite dinosaur?
6. Hey (Insert Name), I'm impressed by your taste in men. ;)
7. I like your face
8. Compliment one of her features, not just say she is beautiful.
9. Bring up a mutual like
10. Bring up a mutual friend
Again, for the most part, you want to be light and funny. You don't want to
be overly clingy or creepy sounding. That's why humor works best.
Timing
With Tinder, timing can be just as important as the first message. You
should strike while the fire is hot. Excuse the bad pun there, but it's true.
With Tinder, you will get greater success if you respond pretty quickly after
you get the match notification. Women get a lot of Tinder matches,
especially since most guys' swipe right on everyone.
Replying soon after the match, will insure that you wont get lost in the
shuffle with the hundreds of other guys on her match list. Plus if she swiped
right on you last, you know she is actively using Tinder. So it's a good time
to try to catch her.
Tinder TIP: If you are just looking to hookup, you can use really use
this method to your advantage. I have had success late on Friday and
Saturday nights messaging girls. It's almost like waiting outside a club
at closing time. A lot of time you will match with girls that are lonely
and it gives you a decent shot of getting invited over her place or her
coming to yours.
Copy and Paste Messages
If you don't know what this means, it is when you copy the same message
and send it to a number of different women. Copy and pasting messages can
be a time saver, but you need to proceed with caution. They can definitely
do more harm than good, especially if the woman catches you in the act.
Even if I am copying and pasting, I still like to add a bit of customization.
Just adding the girl's name can make them feel that the message is just for
them. Just make sure you don't forget to change the name. I will show you a
couple of my epic fails below when I was first starting out.
As you can see, I tried to play it off.

Moving the Conversation Along

Your main goal is to quickly progress the conversation to getting her
number. You don't want to ask for a number in the second message, but you
don't want to get trapped in an endless cycle of small talk. Once you
convince her you are not a creep (or make her think you are not a creep if
you are) then you need to ask for her number.
There are a few examples of ways to do this.
1. "You should give me your number"
2. "Let's text, what's your number?"
3. "I have a really cool pic I would like to show you. I can't send it
through Tinder, give me your number and I will text it."
4. "This app blows, would you rather text"
5. "My Tinder app has been crashing and acting funny, let's text"

Asking Her Out

Once you get her number, your next goal should be to ask her out. Women
like a confident man. So you need to lead the conversation and don't beat
around the bush about it. There are a number of ways to ask the woman out.
One way is to be humorous about it. Here is my go to line to begin the
process of asking her out.
"You know, a beautiful woman like yourself deserves to be taken out
for drinks by a handsome, sweet, successful, sexy, intelligent, and
amazing guy"
Send that first. Then a second later send this one.
"If he's busy...there is always me ;) "
Usually they will find this very funny. I have gotten almost all positive
responses. Here is an example.

You then proceed to suggest a time and place.

You can also do the direct approach as well. This is when you just flat out
suggest a time and place.
"There's a great little bar downtown. We should grab a drink Friday
night at 8."
You can word it how you want to, but be sure to suggest a place and time. If
she says she is busy, then suggest another day.
The First Date
Whether you are looking for a hookup only or a possible relationship, the
first date should be structured close to the same way. You are the man, so
you should set everything up. As independent as women are now, they still
want a man to be the man. You should be leading everything during the
whole process. A woman is impressed with a man who will set everything
up. You tell them the time and the place.
Day? Time?
Choosing the day and time for a date can almost be as important as the
location. If you are looking for a hookup, then you are probably better off
scheduling a date on the weekend and as late as possible. A date during the
week could work against you because the woman may have to be at work
early in the morning.
If you are looking to actually date someone and get to know them, I would
suggest a weeknight date at first. For one thing, the restaurant or bar will be
less crowded. On the weekends, these places can be very loud and busy.
This can make it difficult to hear your date. Plus, you will have less of a
wait and the atmosphere will be more relaxed.
Venue and Location
So you actually convinced someone to go out with you, the next question is
where should you take them. The old cliché date was always dinner and a
movie. You should avoid these options at all costs. They are both bad ideas
for a first date.
Dinner should be avoided at all costs. Here are a few reasons why dinner is
a bad idea for a first date.
1. Long time commitment. You are committing at least an hour to
someone who you might end up not liking. You can pretty much tell in
the first 5 minutes if your date has potential or not. Do you really want
to be stuck with someone for an hour that you don't even end up
liking?
 2. High cost commitment. The cost involved. Dinner at a decent
restaurant with drinks can cost you between 50 to well over a hundred
dollars. Do you really want to be dropping that much money on
someone who might not call you back the next day?
3. Dinner can be awkward with someone you don't know. Do you
really want to worry about trying to scarf down a meal while trying to
impress the woman? I personally hate eating in front of someone I
barely know.
4. Dinner can feel kind of stuffy and serious. A first date should be
more relaxed.
A movie is just as bad of an idea. The point of a first date is to get to know
someone. How can you get to know someone if you can't have a
conversation with them? The whole focus of your date will be on the
movie, not you.
This is why I recommend meeting for drinks as the best idea for a first date.
This obviously only works if both parties involved drink. Here are a few
reasons why getting drinks at a local bar is a great option.
1. Low time commitment. If the date ends up being a disaster, you can
call it after the first round.
2. Low cost commitment. If it ends up being a bad date, a couple of
drinks will only set back around 20 dollars or less.
3. A laid back atmosphere. Grabbing drinks at a bar is about as laid
back as you get.
4. Alcohol helps each person lower inhibitions, lowers nerves, and
makes everyone relax.
5. If the date is going well, then you may decide to order appetizers or
have dinner. At this point, you know it's not a waste of time or money.
If you are just looking to hookup, meeting for drinks is the only option. If
you plan to meet as many women as possible, you will quickly go broke
buying dinners for all these women.
The location of the date is just as important. If you goal is to hookup, you
will want to plan the date location in one of two places. You either want it
to be close to your place or close to her place. If you have your own place, I
would suggest you choose a venue closest to you. If things are going great
during the date, you can suggest going back to your place for a movie or
more drinks.
First Date Tips
Try to show up early. That way you can scope out the location and you can
be ready to greet your date.
When your date shows up, greet her with a big smile and a hug. There is a
lot of varying opinions on how to great a date. Some people suggest a
handshake. I think a handshake is a terrible idea. This is a date not a
business meeting. A handshake is friendly. The purpose of the date is not to
make a friend and you want your date to know this. Giving a quick hug at
the beginning is a great way to begin the physical escalation of the date. I
have never had a woman seem hesitant to a hug.
When it's time to be seated, let me suggest two ways the handle this. The
goal is to sit as close as possible to your date. This will allow you to
physically escalate with her. This is very important in moving from
potential friend to lover.
My first choice would be to set at the bar. The bar is a more relaxed and
carefree atmosphere. This gives you a chance to interact with the bartender
and others. The way you interact with others can impress your date as well.
The main advantage to sitting at the bar is that you are sitting right next to
her.
If you don't sit at the bar, I would suggest sitting at a square table. That way
you can sit on the side closest to hers.
The issue with sitting across from a date in a booth is that you are just too
far away from here. I have been able to close dates this way, but it's much
easier when you are sitting close together. If you are stuck sitting at a booth,
touching her hand and touching her legs with yours are the best methods.
Date Conversation
The point of a date is to get to know someone and to have fun at the same
time. Boring conversation can quickly send a date off the rails. I am asked a
lot about what exactly someone should say. Some guys are looking for a
script. The problem is that conversations should be unique and dynamic.
You want to have a connection with your date. You can't do this if you are
trying to have the same conversation with every other woman.
1. Avoid the date turning into an "interview date". This is when you
keep asking your date back to back questions. It gets very repetitive
and can be kryptonite to a vagina.
2. Instead of interviewing, ask her a question. Focus on her answer. If
she says something you can relate to, start telling a story based on her
response. You want the conversation to flow naturally. When you start
throwing around canned questions, the date becomes very boring.
3. Remember the F.O.R.D. system of dating topics. This stands for
Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams. These are safe and
interesting topics you should definitely consider bringing up.
4. Topics to avoid on a first date include abortion, religion, politics,
past relationships, and economics. These are very polarizing topics that
can be of a very sensitive nature. If you are only looking to sleep with
your date, do you really care her stance on Obama care? It can only
hurt your chances. If you are looking for a relationship, these are
topics that can be brought up on a later date.
5. Actually listen to your date. Show that you have genuine interest
and be engaging. We all know women like to talk about themselves.
Give them that opportunity.
Body Language
Nonverbal communication and body language is just as important as the
actual conversation during the date. Poor posture or body language can be a
big turn off. On the date, you want to seem relaxed and confident. Here are
a few ways to ensure you are projecting your body language in a positive
way.
1. Strong eye contact. You want to maintain strong eye contact with
your date. This shows confidence and can be intimidating in a good
way.
2. Sit with correct posture. The best way is to sit straight up or maybe
even slightly leaned back. When you lean in, you are showing
weakness. Women pick up on this subconsciously. Also sit with your
legs open and not closed. This gives a closed off vibe.
3. Most importantly smile.
The physical escalation of the date is very important. People in the pickup
artist community will refer to this as KINO. While I don't follow a lot of
PUA advice, I think that it is very important to physically escalate during
the date. Without physically escalating you could quickly place yourself in
the friend-zone.
A woman wants to feel desired. For example, think how you would feel if a
beautiful woman touched your arm. It's the same for a woman. If she has
decided to go on a date with you, she has interest in being more than
friends. You should always assume she is attracted to you in everything you
do. Let me say that one more time. You need to assume attraction.
Here are a few examples of physically escalating.
1. Greet your date outside the venue with a hug.
2. When you walk into the restaurant, open the door for her and lightly
place your hand on her lower back as she walks through the door.
3. During dinner find playful ways to touch her. Lightly touch her
should or arm when you tell a joke or either of you say something
funny.
4. Gently touching her leg with yours under the table
5. Holding her hand briefly. You can do this by noticing a ring,
bracelet, or watch she might have on and asking about it.
Here is the important part. You need to do this without seeming creepy. You
need to pay attention to the signs that she is giving you. If she is into you,
she will give you positive body languages. These can include the following.
1. Her touching you throughout the date.
2. Her leaning in to listen to you
3. She maintains eye contact
4. Her eyes are dilated.
5. When you move in closer, she doesn't pull away.
If you pay attention to these signs, you can keep amping up the physical
escalation.
Check Please
So, who pays for the date? This is one of the more polarizing topics that
come up in regards to dating. If you are following a lot of the PUA methods
and advice, they will tell you that you should never pay. I am going to
disagree. I believe that the one who asks the other out for the date should
pay. If you can't afford to pay for a couple drinks, then you should probably
not be dating. It is a classy move and most women will expect it. You could
quickly turn a woman off by showing how cheap you are.
The Good Night Kiss
One of the most talked about topics when it comes to dating is the good
night kiss. There is a lot of debate on whether you should attempt a kiss on
a first day. I am a firm believer that you should always attempt a kiss unless
the date is a disaster. Like I said earlier, you should always assume
attraction. If you are getting most of the signs and it seems to be going well,
go for the kiss. What do you have to lose?
You don't always have to wait until the end of the date to try for the kiss. I
have had successful dates where I went for a kiss halfway through the date.
It takes some practice to work up to this. I had been on about 10 dates
before I attempted it.
Also, for the love of god, do not ask if you can kiss her. Yes, this method
may work at time, but it's a pretty insecure move. Women are attracted to
confident men. Taking charge and attempting the kiss shows that you are
confident and you are going to go for what you want.
Sex
The subject everyone wants to talk about. Forget all the rest of the book
right? Sex is a funny subject with girls. You will notice that a lot of women
will put the following on their profile.
1. Not looking for a hook up
2. Not DTF
3. If you are looking just to get laid swipe left
Don't let this fool you. The reason most women put this on there is to keep
the creeps away. I cannot tell you how many women I have went out with
that had this on their profile. Most of them I slept with that night and they
were the biggest freaks.
I have also had many women say, "I never do this on the first date". I have
also heard," I am not going all the way". We still usually end up having
amazing sex.
Women are just as horny as guys. They just don't want to be seen easy or be
viewed as hoes. This is something I wish I knew when I was younger.
Sexual Progression
This is just my method that works well for me. You might find something
works better for you. The key is that every woman is different, so you
should be ready to adapt. How do you know what a woman likes? It's pretty
simple. Just pay attention to their breathing habits, moans, and heartbeat.
When you are pressing the right buttons, these things will all increase. Here
are a few tips.
1. Making out- I consider myself a very good kisser. This book isn't
designed to show you how to kiss or to come give a demonstration, but
I believe being a good kisser is a good foundation. All women kiss
different. Just try different things to see how she reacts. Some women
like you to nibble their lips a bit, others like you to swirl your tongue
around theirs. Kissing is something that you get better at with practice.
2. Progress from their lips to their neck. Here is a big secret, almost
every woman I have been with loves being kissed on their neck. A lot
of women say it's what really turns them on. Some women love you to
suck and nibble on their ear as well.
3. Tease, tease, and tease some more. Don't just rush in to grab their
tits. Rub your hands around them. Have them begging for you to touch
them. The same goes with your lips on their body. Kiss around their
nipples first. Tease them. Then finally suck their nipples. I have had
women orgasm from me playing and sucking on their breasts. The key
was taking my time and teasing.
4. Oral sex...Do it. Don't be one of those guys. Being good at oral will
keep them coming back for more. Tease them here as well. Don't just
dive right in. Progressively kiss them down from their tits down to
their belly button. Then start kissing their inner thigh. Blow around
their clit. Then slowly start giving them oral.
5. This should go without saying, but always carry a condom. Besides
the fear of knocking someone up, you also don't want to catch an STD.
Closing Thoughts and Ramblings
If you don't have success right away, don't get discouraged. There is no one
method to attracting women. All women are different. What works on one,
might now work on another. The opening line that I had the greatest success
with, still will not get a response from some women. The key is to keep
trying. If I can do, then you can do it as well.
The truth is that it's a numbers game. If you put out the best effort you can,
you will see better success. By having a great set of pictures, a good tag line
and profile, great opening message, and a great sense of confidence, you are
already ahead of all the other guys.
That is basically what it boils down to gentlemen. You just need to stand out
from the over hundred guys trying to hookup with the same woman. Most
guys are lazy and don't know what they are doing. By putting some effort in
and standing out, you are putting yourself ahead of the game.
Let me leave you with a few tips to close.
1. Be confident. Even if you are not very confident, fake it. One of the
popular expressions in the dating and pick up community is "Fake it
till you make it".
2. Always take the lead. Another way to show the lady confidence is
to always lead. You be the one with the plan and the backup plan. This
shows her that you took the time and effort into making the date great
and that you know what you are doing.
3. Insecurity is like Kryptonite to a vagina. Nothing turns a woman off
more than insecurity. Believe in yourself. If she has agreed to a date
with you, then she has interest. Don't second guess yourself.
4. To end on a lighter note, here is a chance for you to laugh at me. If
you need to drink to loosen up on a date, that is ok. Just be sure not to
over drink. I did this on one occasion and look at the result. I actually
wasn't upset, I laughed. That's what you get when you show up late to
a date, and drink a little too much.
Stay thirsty my friends, but not too thirsty.
About the Author
I want to first and foremost thank you for taking the time to purchase and or
read this book. I hope you appreciated the honest approach to using Tinder.
Like I stated in the book, I am a 35 year old man who has recently found
himself divorced and back on the dating scene. I was with my ex wife for
over 12 years. I also never really dated too much when I was younger. I
seemed to always meet people through work or school. So, when I was
thrusted into the dating world in my mid-thirties, it was a rude awaking.
I used a lot of trial and error and eventually became very successful at
dating. There were a lot of up's and downs along the way. I wanted to be
able to share my success with others and hopefully help them as well.
I am so appreciative of your purchase that I am offering up my email
address for anyone who has specific questions or advice. You can email me
at chrisconnmedia@gmail.com
I am also offering my list of perfect first date ideas for free for anyone that
signs up for my mailing list. I want to assure you I will not sell your email
address or share it with anyone else. I want to be able to get a list of people
who are interested in this topic, so I can send you out updates on new
projects. I am also going to send out free tips and content occasionally.
Even more than that, I am planning on writing a few other books on dating
and would like to be able to let you know when they are complete. You can
sign up for the mailing by sending me an email to
chrisconnmedia@gmail.com.
Also feel free to follow me on Twitter. My Twitter name is
@ChrisConnMedia. Anyone who follows me on Twitter will receive a more
detailed list on Tinder opening lines.