How To Cure Oneitis - 6 Steps To Getting Over Your Ex-Crush

(https://www.masculinedevelopment.
com)
The Ultimate Guide to Get Over Oneitis: How to

Cure it and Come Out Stronger
CATEGORIES: WOMEN
(HTTPS://WWW.MASCULINEDEVELOPMENT.COM/CATEGORY/WOMEN/)
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Table of(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
Contents [ hide ]
What is Oneitis?
How Does “Oneitis” Happen?
Oneitis vs. Love
How to Get Over Oneitis (6 Steps)
The Inner Path
The Outer Path
Common Oneitis Questions
The Bottom Line
What is a oneitis? Well, whether you realize it or not, you’ve likely had
one before—in your relationships, or maybe a potential girl friend.
A “oneitis,” as it’s called, is when you have a soul-crushing

obsession over a single woman in your life.
This can take the form of a girl friend. It can take the form of your
wife. It can even take the form of a co-worker or a classmate.
Getting over a oneitis will probably be the hardest thing you ever do.
That
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What is Oneitis?
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In short, a oneitis is when you’re absolutely desperate for a particular
girl’s approval. You can’t sleep without her, you can’t eat without her,
and you can’t breathe without her. No matter how hard you try, you
just can’t stop thinking about her
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/cant-stop-thinking-
about-her-heres-what-you-need-to-do/).
Psychologists would call this severe co-dependence. It’s when you’re

entirely
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never do, and acting like a completely different man. It’s almost like
having a oneitis hijacks your brain, and turns you into a different
person.
Bonus Guide: How to Make Women CHASE YOU Over Text (Click Here!)
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For different men, a oneitis may take a different form. It may be your
wife, your girl friend, a girl you go to class with, or even a girl you’ve
never met before. They all have one thing in common though: you feel
as if you NEED her to be happy as a man.
How Does “Oneitis” Happen?
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This phenomena takes place for several reasons, which we will
discuss in(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
this article. The fundamental reason that a man gets a
“oneitis” however, is that he places far too much importance onto a
single woman, that is out of line with what reality dictates.
In other words, it’s when you put the pussy on a pedestal. It’s when you
think a woman is the end-all-be-all to every one of your problems. It’s
when you idealize a woman, and fall in love with your idea of her,
rather than the actual person herself.
Furthermore, there are several things which can leave a man

vulnerable to this state of mind:
Not having a firm, masculine purpose

(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/how-to-find-your-
purpose-and-passion/)
Lacking enough game to meet new women
Not having a positive, emotionally healthy mindset
If any one of the previous three fundamentals are lacking, you will be
susceptible to a oneitis. As we go through this article, we will discuss
exactly why you need these things, and how to develop them if you
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Oneitis vs. Love
The first objection many men have to this concept of the “oneitis” is
that it’s simply love. It isn’t. Love is what comes when you get to know
a person, and develop a healthy, interdependent relationship with
them. Love is patient, kind, and free.
A oneitis is the opposite. When you have a oneitis, you live in a state of
neediness, clinginess, and constant co-dependence. Your moods are
completely dictated by your oneitis’ approval or lack thereof, and she
can send you from the heights of heaven to the depths of hell with a
single
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When youultimate-guide-
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self-awareness (https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/how-
to-stop-lying-to-yourself-and-start-conquering-life/) to develop a
keen eye for making this distinction, but you must learn the
difference between love and oneitis.
Oneitis makes you weak, but love makes you strong. Oneitis drains
you emotionally, but love improves your state. Oneitis reeks of
neediness, love is interdependent. The two are very, very different—
however most men often end up conflating the two, much to their
suffering.
How to Get Over Oneitis (6 Steps)
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In order to overcome your oneitis, you must first recognize that there
are two general areas which must be improved. The first is the inner,
and the second is the outer. These are similar to inner and outer
game, but they are not the same thing.
The Inner Path (Life Purpose)
Developing healthy beliefs towards women and life

Discovering and letting go of past trauma
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/live-life-fearlessly-
transcending-old-world-view/)
Learning to love yourself
The Outer Path (Step #2)
Learning enough game to have options in who you date

Developing an exciting life that you’re passionate about
Developing an external emotional ecosystem to keep you
satisfied
I have personally experienced many oneitis’ in my life, and let me tell

you that these lessons were very hard earned. In fact, you’ll probably
think that you’re “over her” and that you’ve “cured your oneitis” only to
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a few months(whatsapp://send?
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TRENDING: How to 10x Your Attractiveness to Women
paget3setuij)
Life is a series of taking chances, making mistakes, and learning from

those mistakes. You’ll often find that you have to repeat this pattern
many times, before you learn, re-learn, and ultimately “fully learn” a
lesson and it’s many, multi-faceted layers. This is one of them.
These two paths are, in many ways, inter-related. As you progress

down the inner path, you will find that your outer path improves, and
vice versa. Do not neglect one for the other, nor become a “purist” who
thinks that only one path is the true way. In my experience, adhering
to both paths simultaneously is the best option.
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The Inner Path
The inner path is perhaps, the most difficult for many men, because it
requires us to overcome our myopic nature. As the old saying goes,
how can a goldfish ever know what water is, when it’s been dwelling in
water its entire life?
Likewise, how can a man ever know the full extent of his neediness,
negativity, or dysfunctional beliefs, when he’s had them his entire life?
This whole topic could fill a library with books, and it certainly has, but
here are the key points to take away.
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Step 1. Developing Healthy Beliefs
The first order of business is to develop healthy beliefs which
empower you. This may sound ridiculous, but you likely have dozens
of beliefs that are holding you back, this very second.
As students of hardcore reality selection

(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/the-art-of-the-re-frame-
hardcore-reality-selection/), we are encouraged to always adopt the
belief which will aid us most in our quest for success. Any belief that
does not aid you must be thrown away immediately, and swapped out
for a more empowering belief.
The single biggest underlying mindset, which creates massive

oneitis, is simply living in a state of scarcity. This means that you
believe life really only gives you very little, and if you ever fuck up or
make a mistake, you’re done for. That’s it.
The truth is that there are BILLIONS of women on the face of the
earth, and however special you might think this oneitis happens to be,
there are many other women who are just as good. Of course, this can
be a tough pill to swallow, especially as you advance in your dating life.
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Step 2. Dealing With Past Trauma
We all have past trauma, lurking deep within our subconscious. Like it
or not, you are a human being, and every human being is subject to
some form of trauma.
Whether it was your parents neglecting you as a child, an uncle who

molested you, a teacher who made you feel stupid, or a tragic car
accident, we all have some form of it.
This trauma, when undealt with, creates a pent up charge of

negative emotions. As you go through this life, you will unwillingly
act out the imprint of this trauma, until you become conscious of it
and choose to release it.
This is far too deep of a topic to discuss in a single article, but I would
recommend you purchase and read the book “Letting Go
(https://amzn.to/2BVeiOY)” by Dr. David Hawkins. The book will guide
you through a process which I myself have used to let go of years
worth of pent up trauma. It will change your life, trust me.
Step 3. Learning
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self love is not arrogant—it is humble, yet proud
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/how-to-be-humble-like-
wolf-yet-proud-like-lion/).
We’re told that we should always change ourselves to become better,

and in many ways, we should. You should not be satisfied with
mediocrity, nor should you be satisfied with failure. At the same time
however, you must be okay with giving life your best shot.
Learn how to cultivate true self-confidence

(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/how-to-be-more-
confident-no-bullshit/). Rather than “stuffing down” the parts of
yourself that you hate, learn to embrace them. For the longest time, I
hated that I was into nerdy video games like World of Warcraft and
League of Legends, but I have since accepted it. And do you know
what? I feel great.
Find those parts of yourself that you have disowned, and learn to
become okay with them. In fact, if you want, you can make a list right
now of 10 things you hate about yourself. Then, as you go through
each one, focus on how it makes you feel. Accept the feeling, and
move on.
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The Outer Path
The outer path is, in many ways, what most people focus on—and for
good reason. Without a strong outer path, having a strong inner path
is completely useless. What good is “unconditional self love” if you’re
living in a box, homeless on the street, without any friends or women?
Ideally however, you should have everything. You want what I call “the
good life,” which is health, wealth, love, and happiness. Getting over
your oneitis goes FAR BEYOND simply getting over your oneitis. In
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Step 4. Develop Your Game
Otherwise known as charisma, developing your game is by far one of
the most important things a man can do in life. Without the ability to
meet, attract, and seduce women, you will live a very lonely and
passionless life, subject to the whims of women around you.
Unfortunately, most men have absolutely no game whatsoever. They

don’t know how to meet attractive women, how to talk to attractive
women, nor how to seduce attractive women.
So let me ask you, is it any wonder that most men suffer from oneitis?
How the hell can you get over a girl, if you don’t even HAVE any other
girls to get over her with?
Do not neglect this area of your life. There is a reason why I talk
about developing your charisma so much, and it’s why I’ve written so
extensively on it. If you want to truly get over your oneitis, you must
develop an external abundance of women in your life.
I suggest you read the following articles to get started:
How to Get Laid Fast (Introduction to Screening)
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Lessons I Learned From Sleeping With Over 100+ Women
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/5-life-lessons-
learned-from-sleeping-with-over-100-girls/)
Game vs. Attraction: What’s the Difference?
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/game-vs-attraction-
whats-the-difference/)
Developing “outer game” or charisma is a lifelong endeavor that will

not happen overnight. You will have to practice, practice, and
practice. When you emerge however, you will be a much better man
for it. You will have successfully conquered your oneitis, and evolved
as a human being.
Step 5. Build An Exciting Life

Another reason why men can’t get over their oneitis, is that they have
incredibly boring lives. Let me ask you a question… If your life
consists of only work, watching TV, and sleeping, how easy is it to get
addicted to a woman who offers you some excitement? Very easy.
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exciting experiences into your reality on a day-by-day basis. You can
do this by (https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
simply finding hobbies that you’re passionate about, and
diving head first into each one of them.
Building and living an exciting life is partially a mindset, too. It’s a

carefree, positive, and fun-oriented approach to life. What’s the point
of living if you’re so bored you can’t stand your life? Fill your day with
exciting activities and you won’t have so much free time to think
about this so-called “oneitis.”
I aim to stack my life with as many fun, high quality events as

possible. Every day, I’m asking: what can I do next that will fill my
life with excitement? Is it a trip to Thailand, taking up a new hobby
or language, or is it just meeting up with some old friends and
having fun?
Of course, you might need money to truly build an exciting life, but so
what? Anything you want is within your reach, you just have to reach
out and take it. You can have money, looks, status, and fulfillment, all
at once, if you merely ask for them.
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men is looked down upon.
No matter. Do not be blown about by the whims of social pressure—

simply do whatever you want. Developing a male camaraderie is one
of the most powerful bulwarks against oneitis. Men of the past knew
this. They knew that you needed other male friends who could set
your head straight when it came to women.
Men of the present day have lost touch with this. So go out, and
spend some time developing a male camaraderie. Strengthen and
create new bonds with like-minded men across the globe, who will
be there for you when you’re struggling to get over a woman.
Always try to fill your life with things that make you happy, whether
they be a weekly group meetup with your boys at the bar, or a mere
daily routine that adds some spice to your life. Fill your days, your
weeks, your months, and your years with activities which boost your
mental state and increase your happiness.
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Common Oneitis Questions
Getting over a oneitis can be extremely difficult… whether it’s a

woman you’re in a relationship with, or a woman you really like.
There’s a lot of common questions I get regarding oneitis, like why

some men always get it, how to never get it, and much more.
So, I’ve taken the time to put together a quick list of common oneitis
questions I get, to help you men out as much as possible.
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It makes you feel like there is no hope for tomorrow, and that no
matter how hard you try, there is still no hope—a total scarcity
mindset.
It is a terrible feeling that can only be overcome through time, effort,

and the right guidance.
Is There A Cure?
Unfortunately, there is no simple cure. There is however, a cure.
The only real cure to oneitis, is to cultivate a strong purpose, learn

how to meet lots of women, and always practice self respect.
Often, oneitis occurs out of scarcity, rather than abundance. Oneitis

happens when it takes you a whole year to get a new girl friend.
Me? I can get a new girl friend in a month. That doesn’t mean I do, but
it means I’m with a girl because I WANT to be, not because she’s my
“oneitis.”
How Do You Get Rid Of It?
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It’s simple—learn game, and stay on your purpose as a man. This will
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You need to put yourself, and your own happiness first. Put your own
life, your own purpose, and your own self respect first—ALWAYS!
If you haven’t already, read my article on How to Be An Asshole That

Women Love (https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/how-to-be-
an-asshole-that-women-want/). This will help you see the light, my
friend.
The truth is, the only way to get rid of oneitis is to learn game, learn
how to meet girls, and always put your purpose first.
The Bottom Line
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In summary, getting over your oneitis is not an easy thing to do. A
oneitis is not a root problem, however—it is simply a symptom of a
deeper cause. When you align yourself with the principles I discussed,
and better yourself as a man, your concerns over a oneitis will become
a thing of the past.
Focus on both the inner and outer paths—both are valid. Spend some
time rooting through all your emotional baggage, dysfunctional
beliefs, and past traumas. Learn to love them, and let them go, for
they have served their purpose. Spend some time learning game,
making male friends, and improving your life.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, be thankful that you had a

oneitis. In years to come, you will realize that being so heartbroken
over a girl that you felt you couldn’t breathe was actually what pushed
you to become a better man. Without the experiences that cause us
pain, we wouldn’t grow.
The pain of a oneitis is what often spurs a man on to grow. So be

thankful, for your own damn good. If you have any questions,
comments, or concerns, feel free to leave them down below… and, as
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always, I hope you guys enjoyed the article, and I’ll see you next time.
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A oneitis is when you have a soul-crushing obsession with a
particular(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
girl, but she doesn't feel the same way about you in
return. It's when you can't seem to get over her, even though she's
clearly over you. In short, it's one of the worst feelings ever.
❓ How Do You Get Over Oneitis?

The best way to get over a oneitis is to focus on improving your own
life first. You can't control how your oneitis feels about you, but
what you can control is the quality of your own life. Start improving
your health, wealth, and dating life, and you'll forget about her in no
time.
❓ What's The Cure For Oneitis?

In this article, I discuss the 6-step cure for oneitis, and while it
certainly won't be instant, it will happen eventually if you follow
these steps. The biggest mistake most guys make when trying to
cure their oneitis, is they focus on HER and not their OWN LIVES!
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Join the discussion 
4 COMMENTS   Newest 
Anonymous  1 year ago
Well written. Much needed, thank you for that. Was heading in this direction already
because of the books Way of the Superior Man and As a Man Thinketh. Will check out
the book you recommended
0 Reply
Sean  3 years ago
Great article, Jon. I actually read this a few years ago when I really needed it… so
thanks for that, man. Came her again because I saw you posted it on Twitter
0 Reply
Charles  3 years ago
I am going through a bad heartbreak of 14 years, four little kids. Struggling to get over
her. Any help would be appreciated.
0 Reply
Author
Jon Anthony (https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/author/jon-

anthony/)
 3 years ago
 Reply to Charles
Shoot me an email with more information, man. Sorry to hear that.
1 Reply
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The Ultimate Guide to Get Over Oneitis: How to

How Does “Oneitis” Happen?

Oneitis vs. Love

How to Get Over Oneitis (6 Steps)

The Inner Path

The Outer Path

Common Oneitis Questions

The Bottom Line

A “oneitis,” as it’s called, is when you have a soul-crushing

Psychologists would call this severe co-dependence. It’s when you’re

How Does “Oneitis” Happen?

Furthermore, there are several things which can leave a man

Not having a firm, masculine purpose

How to Get Over Oneitis (6 Steps)

The Inner Path (Life Purpose)

Developing healthy beliefs towards women and life

The Outer Path (Step #2)

Learning enough game to have options in who you date

I have personally experienced many oneitis’ in my life, and let me tell

Life is a series of taking chances, making mistakes, and learning from

These two paths are, in many ways, inter-related. As you progress

As students of hardcore reality selection

The single biggest underlying mindset, which creates massive

Whether it was your parents neglecting you as a child, an uncle who

This trauma, when undealt with, creates a pent up charge of

We’re told that we should always change ourselves to become better,

Learn how to cultivate true self-confidence

Unfortunately, most men have absolutely no game whatsoever. They

I suggest you read the following articles to get started:

How to Get Laid Fast (Introduction to Screening)

Developing “outer game” or charisma is a lifelong endeavor that will

Step 5. Build An Exciting Life

Building and living an exciting life is partially a mindset, too. It’s a

I aim to stack my life with as many fun, high quality events as

No matter. Do not be blown about by the whims of social pressure—

Getting over a oneitis can be extremely difficult… whether it’s a

There’s a lot of common questions I get regarding oneitis, like why

It is a terrible feeling that can only be overcome through time, effort,

The only real cure to oneitis, is to cultivate a strong purpose, learn

Often, oneitis occurs out of scarcity, rather than abundance. Oneitis

How Do You Get Rid Of It?

If you haven’t already, read my article on How to Be An Asshole That

The Bottom Line

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, be thankful that you had a

The pain of a oneitis is what often spurs a man on to grow. So be

❓ How Do You Get Over Oneitis?

❓ What's The Cure For Oneitis?

3 text messages to make a girl want to fuck you!

Get it for FREE. Type your email below. Click Download!

Anonymous  1 year ago

Sean  3 years ago

Charles  3 years ago

Jon Anthony (https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/author/jon-

What's Up, I'm Jon Anthony

(https://masculinedevelopment clickfunnels com/blog money blueprint official)

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(https://masculinedevelopment clickfunnels com/sales pageaga1cut9)

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Top 10 Dating Articles

Female Hypergamy: The Ultimate Guide For Modern Men (2023)

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How to Get Laid FAST (3 Steps to Have Sex Tonight!)