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DATING » LOVE AND ROMANCE Co-authored by:

Lauren Sanders
Is He the One? Matchmaker & Dating Coach

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Co-authors: Updated: Views:
5 September 18, 38,065
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86% of readers found this article helpful.

You look over at your man and think: is our love temporary, or is he the one? Will this be the 89 votes - 86%
guy you share your life with—or just another boyfriend? Click a star to add your vote

The truth is, you’ve probably collected all the clues you need already. If you look closely at your
relationship, the answer might be clearer than you’d think. Ready to find out if you’re dating
Allison N.
your soulmate? Click “Start Quiz” now. Sep 28

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Questions Overview

1. How long have you been together?

A. Just a couple months, but it feels like longer.
B. We just got together.
C. 6 months to 1 year.
D. More than a year.

2. How do you feel when you’re around each other?

A. Sometimes great, sometimes awful.
B. Excited, but I’m still a little nervous around him.
C. Happy.
D. Safe, peaceful, and loved.

3. What do your friends think?

A. They wish he treated me better.
B. They aren’t sure about him yet.
C. They like him.
D. They absolutely love him for me—and he loves my friends, too.

4. Do your values align well?

A. Not really…we disagree on what’s most important in life.
B. I don’t know, we haven’t talked about it yet.
C. For the most part, yes. We don’t line up on everything though.
D. 100%. We’re compatible on a super deep level.

5. What does your gut tell you?

A. I care about him, but he’s not giving me what I deserve.
B. He seems great, but I don’t have all the info yet.
C. He’s so amazing, but I need more time to decide.
D. He feels like home to me—I think this is the real deal.

6. How do your arguments go?

A. They get toxic fast—yelling, manipulation, you name it.
B. We haven’t fought yet.
C. We might say a few things we don’t mean, but we bounce back eventually.
D. Even when we disagree, we try to stay on the same team. We both just want the other to
be happy.

7. Does he let you be yourself?

A. Not really. I feel sort of on edge around him, and he tries to change me.
B. I’m still on my best behavior around him.
C. Usually—he’s pretty understanding, but I don’t know if he totally accepts me.
D. Yes. I’ve never dated someone who seemed to love me so completely, even my flaws.

8. How does he support you when you’re down?

A. He doesn’t unless he wants something in return.
B. We haven’t been through anything heavy together yet.
C. He’ll usually offer a sweet gesture, like a hug or a treat.
D. It’s like magic—somehow, he always knows what to do to ease my pain.

9. Do you like who he is now or are you in love with his potential?
A. I’m definitely hoping that he’ll start treating me better.
B. I don’t know him well enough to say for sure yet.
C. I love him, but part of me hopes he’ll become a better partner over time.
D. I love him exactly as he is—faults and all.

10. Do you two chat about the future?

A. Sometimes, but I feel like he’s just telling me what I want to hear.
B. No, and to be honest, I’m not ready for those discussions yet.
C. There have been little comments here and there, but no major conversations.
D. Yep, we’ve discussed our plans for years down the line.

11. How has your relationship changed you?

A. Honestly, it’s made me feel stressed—like I’m going crazy.
B. I don’t think it’s changed me at all at this point.
C. It’s made me happier and he’s exposed me to new things.
D. My self-confidence has skyrocketed. I feel like the best version of myself.

12. Can you trust him to tell you the truth and treat you well?
A. Definitely not.
B. I don’t have any reason not to trust him I guess.
C. Usually, but I might not have 100% faith in him.
D. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. I can definitely trust him.

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Understanding True Love: Soulmates & “Second Halves”

Is just one person the one? “Soulmates” are rooted in ancient philosophy. The idea is that
somewhere out there, one person’s soul is a perfect match for yours. And when you two are
united, you’ll become whole, together. Soulmates are all about romantic fate and they promise
personal fulfillment through true love—but whether or not soulmates exist can’t be proven.

Some people swear by their “second half,” and others feel certain that there’s more than one
person for everyone. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide where you fall.

The problem with “soulmate” ideology: Over the years, “soulmates” have been criticized by
notable names in philosophy. Plato, for instance, says that we shouldn’t rely on someone else
to complete us in life. After all, to assume a person’s fragmented until they find that special
someone—that’s a pretty limiting idea. In fact, relationship experts typically say the opposite;
the more independent and confident you are in yourself alone, the happier you tend to be in
romance.

Co-creating your dream relationship: It might make sense to adopt a more flexible
perspective on finding and maintaining love. Maybe soulmates are more forged than
discovered. You can find someone amazing, but then, the relationship that follows is built
through hard work and commitment. Ending up with “the one” might take a little work—open
dialogue, active appreciation, and genuine respect. Deciding that true love doesn’t just happen
to you, but is something you make happen gives you control over your own destiny. Once
you’ve found someone who makes you feel all the feels, how can you create that next-level
romance? Try these tips below:

Communication. Make open dialogue a norm in your relationship. When you discuss
important feelings or events with your partner, remember that you’re on the same team,
working to improve the same partnership. Avoid name-calling and intentional hurt; aim to find a
compromise, no matter the situation.

Trust. Set boundaries and norms in your relationship and then hold them sacred. Trust is the
bedrock of any healthy partnership. Strive to be an honest and faithful partner, and if you do
break each other’s trust, take the healing process seriously.

Connection. Intimacy is key to romance, so even when things get busy, you should always
prioritize your time together. Plan exciting dates, surprise each other, and if it’s important to
both of you, maintain your physical connection too. Especially in long-term relationships, put in
effort to keep the spark alive.

Support. In a healthy relationship, your partner should bring you closer to your ideal life and
self—not distract you from it. The most satisfying relationships allow room for mutual growth, so
be sure to encourage your partner’s individual goals and dreams.

Want to learn more?

For more information about love, relationships, and soulmates, check out these awesome
sources...

https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-
companionship/
https://healthcare.utah.edu/the-scope/shows.php?shows=0_q6d390u8
https://humanities.byu.edu/plato-and-soul-mates/
https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-
wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_relationships

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