LESSON 8: RESOLVING &

TRANSFORMING CONFLICTS

RESEARCHED AND PREPARED BY:

PROF. @CRIS CC TEJIDO, L.P.T.; M.A.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
EDUC ATION

WHAT IS
CONFLICT?
 • -COMES FROM THE LATIN WORD
“CONFLICTUS” WHICH MEANS
STRIKING TOGETHER WITH FORCE!
• -IT OCCURS WHEN ONE’S ACTIONS OR
BELIEFS ARE UNACCEPTABLE TO – AND,
ARE HENCE, RESISTED BY THE OTHER
WHAT IS CONFLICT? (FORSYTH, 1990).
• CONFLICTS OCCUR IN DYADS, GROUPS
CONFLICT IS AN INESCAPABLE PART OF LIFE
OR LARGER SOCIETAL STRUCTURES.
AS WE HAVE DIFFERENCES IN BELIEFS,
ATTITUDES, BEHAVIORS, INTERESTS,VALUES,
ETC.
UNMANAGED CONFLICTS HAVE CAUSED
RELATIONSHIPS TO BREAK APART.
FORTUNATELY, CONFLICTS CAN BE
MANAGED AND RESOLVED
CONSTRUCTIVELY.
 • NATIONAL OR GLOBAL LEVELS-
TERRITORIAL DISPUTES, ETHNIC AND
RELIGIOUS ANIMOSITIES, IDEOLOGICAL
AND POWER STRUGGLES, SOCIAL
INJUSTICE, SEARCH FOR STATEHOOD,
TRADE AND MARKET COMPETITIONS,
AND CONTESTS OVER ECONOMIC
RESOURCES, AMONG OTHERS (WEHR,
WHY DO CONFLICTS 1979).
ARISE? • CAN YOU GIVE EXAMPLES OF:
• TERRITORIAL DISPUTES
• ETHNIC AND RELIGIOUS ANIMOSITIES
CONFLICTS ARISE • IDEOLOGICAL AND POWER STRUGGLES
WHEN…. • SOCIAL INJUSTICE
• TRADE AND MARKET COMPETITIONS
• CONTESTS OVER ECONOMIC RESOURCES
• OTHERS…

W H AT PR E V E NT S US FROM
R E SOLV I NG OUR CONFL I CT S?
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT IT
IS NOT SECOND NATURE
FOR HUMANS TO
RESOLVE CONFLICTS
CONSTRUCTIVELY?
JUSTIFY YOUR ANSWER.
• FACTORS THAT HINDER US FROM
RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
• 1.EXPERIENCE OF STRONG EMOTIONS
SUCH AS FEAR, PRIDE, ANGER, DESIRE FOR
REVENGE. WITH THESE POWERFUL
EMOTIONS PRESENT, IT IS DIFFICULT TO
PROCESS INFORMATION OBJECTIVELY.
• 2. INDIFFERENCE OR APATHY- SHOW OF
LACK OF CONCERN OR INTEREST—
DELIBERATELY OR NOT. OTHERS FEEL
HELPLESS OR HOPELESS FINDING THE
SITUATION DISCOURAGING OR BECAUSE
OF THE PERSON IN AUTHORITY.
(“DEADMA”)
• 3. LACK OF COMMUNICATION OF
DISPUTANTS OR THE ABSENCE OF IT.
• 4. PROVOCATIONS OF SYMPATHIZERS-
WITH OR WITHOUT MEANING TO. (FAN
THE FIRE) OR AGGRAVATE THE SITUATION.
(“SAWSAWERA” “INTRIGERA”. ETC. )
 • FACTORS THAT HINDER US
FROM RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
• 4. PEOPLE PERCEIVE PROBLEM-
SOLVING PROCESS AS TEDIOUS
(“MASALIMUOT”) AND
W H AT PR E V E NT S US FROM STRESSFUL SO THEY SHUN
R E SOLV I NG OUR CONFL I CT S?
AWAY FROM IT.
• 5. DIALOGUING WITH AN
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT IT “ADVERSARY” REQUIRES A
IS NOT SECOND NATURE GREAT AMOUNT OF COURAGE
TO HUMANS TO RESOLVE (“TAPANG”) AND OFTEN WE
CONFLICTS FIND OURSELVES LACKING IN
CONSTRUCTIVELY? AUDACITY TO FACE THE
JUSTIFY YOUR ANSWER. “ENEMY”.
WHAT IS ANGER AND ITS
EFFECTS?

WHAT DO YOU
THINK ARE SOME
REASONS WHY
PEOPLE GET ANGRY?
WHAT IS ANGER AND ITS
EFFECTS?

WHAT DO YOU
THINK ARE THE
EFFECTS OF
ANGER?
 • WHAT IS ANGER?
• IT IS A COMBINATION OF
DISAPPOINTMENT, ANXIETY,
INDIGNATION THAT SIGNAL OUR BODY
TO PREPARE FOR FIGHT. (VERBAL,
PHYSICAL, RAGE OR ANIMOSITY)
WHAT IS ANGER AND ITS • DESTRUCTIVE WHEN WE CREATE HARM,
EFFECTS? HATRED OR ALIENATION.
• IT IS NOT UNCOMMON TO HEAR STORIES
OF PEOPLE GETTING KILLED OR HURT
ANGER IS A AFTER AN ANGRY EXCHANGE.
COMMON • ANGER CAN HAVE ADVERSE EFFECTS ON
OUR HEALTH. ANGER SURGE OFF STRESS
EXPERIENCE WHEN HORMONES WHICH CAN DAMAGE
ARTERIES AND HEART MUSCLES THAT CAN
PARTIES ARE IN LEAD TO IRREGULAR HEARTBEATS. IT CAN
CONFLICT. CONSTRICT BLOOD VESSELS, JAM THE
ARTERY AND TRIGGER A HEART ATTACK
 • WHAT IS ANGER AND ITS EFFECTS:
• ANGER CAN ALSO MAKE US SICK WHEN
IT REPRESSED. UNEXPECTED ANGER
DRIVES OUR BLOOD PRESSURE UP WHEN
OUR MUSCLES ARE TIGHTENED
(SPIELBERGER, AS CITED BY FOLTZ-GRAY,
WHAT IS ANGER AND ITS 2002).
EFFECTS? • ANGER TURNED INWARD MAY ALSO
CAUSE HYPERTENSION AND DEPRESSION.
• ANGER MAY ALSO BE DISRUPTIVE WHEN
ANGER IS A WE CANNOT FUNCTION NORMALLY.
OUR ROUTINE IS DISRUPTED OR WE
COMMON BECOME LESS PRODUCTIVE.
EXPERIENCE WHEN • OUR ABILITY TO THINK IS COMPROMISED.
THIS DESTROYS OUR ABILITY TO
PARTIES ARE IN POSITIVELY CONTINUE ON WITH OUR
CONFLICT. WORK OR STUDIES PUTTING OUR
CAREERS FOR GOALS IN PERIL OR
DANGER.

HOW DO WE MANAGE OUR
ANGER?
CALMING OUR ANGER IS A BETTER
ALTERNATIVE TO DISCHARGING OR
REPRESSING IT. WHEN WE ARE ANGRY,
THE BRAIN SIGNALS OUR PITUITARY
GLANDS AND NERVE ENDINGS TO
PRODUCE ANDRENALINE. THE SURGE OF
ADRENALINE INTO THE BLOODSTREAM
GETS US READY FOR A FIGHT.
• HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO CHANGE OUR
FORM OF ANGER:
• RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE ANGRY.
AWARENESS CAN HELP YOU COOL
DOWN.
• DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THE
SITUATION. LEAVE THE ANGER SCENE.
CHANGING THE ENVIRONMENT CAN
HELP YOU CALM DOWN.
• RELEASE YOUR ANGER PHYSICALLY IN
INDIRECT TERMS: (SHOUT WHERE NO
ONE CAN HEAR YOU, HIT A PILLOW,
MATTRESS OR ANYTHING SOFT TO
REDUCE ADRENALINE IN YOUR HANDS,
DRAW OR PAINT YOUR ANGER OUT BY
USING FORCEFUL STROKES. WALK, RUN,
SWIM VIGOROUSLY, HIT THE GYM OR
EXERCISE (REYES, 2006)
 • BREATH DEEPLY MANY
TIMES SAYING CALMING
WORDS SUCH AS
“RELAX”.
HOW DO WE MANAGE OUR
ANGER? • PAINT PICTURES IN YOUR
MIND OF HAPPY
THOUGHTS AND
RELAXATION EXPERIENCES.
TECHNIQUES: • GO FOR A MASSAGE.
• DO MEDITATION
TECHNIQUES.
 • DO SELF-TAKE (WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I
EXPLODE?; WHAT OTHER OPTIONS DO I
HAVE?)
• INTERROGATE YOURSELF : FOLTZ-GRAY,
2002-IS THIS IMPORTANT?; IS MY ANGER
HOW DO WE MANAGE OUR APPROPRIATE?; IS THE SITUATION
ANGER? MODIFIABLE? IS IT WORTH TAKING
ACTION?
• COUNT TO 10. OR CONTINUE IF YOU

CALM YOUR NEED TO….

• CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS.

MIND.
(HE /SHE PROBABLY DIDN’T MEAN TO
HURT ME…) COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL
TECHNIQUE (CBT-HOUSTON, 1985)
• PUT IT IN WRITING- HELPS ORGANIZE
THOUGHTS AND THINK CLEARLY.
 • MULTI-MEDIA FIX: TURN ON TV-
WATCH ENTERTAINING SHOWS.
GO TO THE MOVIES, LISTEN TO
MUSIC….
• PLAY MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
HOW DO WE MANAGE OUR • SING OR DANCE
ANGER?
• TAKE A SHOWER OR LONG BATH
• TAKE A COLD DRINK
THERAPEUTIC • STROLL IN THE PARK OR IN THE
MALL
TECHNIQUES: • TINKER WITH YOUR PC, VLOG,
BLOG, CHAT ONLINE,
DOWNLOAD ENTERTAINING
VIDEO CLIP, ETC.
 • LIFT IT UP. PRAY FOR PATIENCE,
UNDERSTANDING AND THE
WILL TO FORGIVE. THE BIBLE
SAYS: FORGIVE SEVENTY TIMES
SEVEN- FREE YOURSELVES FROM
HOW DO WE MANAGE OUR THE PAIN.
ANGER?
• VISIT YOUR PLACE OF WORSHIP.
• OFFER YOUR ANGER.
SPIRITUAL AIDS • TALK TO A FAMILY MEMBER OR
& SOCIAL FRIEND.
• GET A HUG FROM A LOVED
SUPPORT: ONE.
• CUDDLE YOUR PET.
 • REDIRECT ENERGY-CLEAN YOUR ROOM
OR HOUSE, REDECORATE YOUR PLACE
OR TEND TO YOUR GARDEN
(“PLANTITAS-PLANTITOS”).
• WHEN APPLICABLE TURN YOUR ANGER
HOW DO WE MANAGE OUR INTO HUMOR, INSTEAD OF EXPLODING,
ANGER? CRACK A JOKE, TURN EDGY SITUATION
TO A LIGHT ONE.
• CRY IT OUT. CRYING IS THERAPEUTIC-
OTHER WAYS TO ALLOWS THE BODY TO RELEASE OR
ELIMINATE DAMAGING STRESS
MANAGE YOUR HORMONES –CORTISOL.

ANGER…
 • 1. ALLOW EXPRESSION. LISTEN.
• 2. DO NOT COUNTER-ATTACK.
• 3. STAND IN THE SHOE OF THE
OTHER- HELP HIM/HER TO
HOW DO WE DEAL WITH CALM DOWN.
OTHER PEOPLE’S ANGER? • 4. PARAPHRASE/CLARIFY.
• 5. EXPLAIN YOUR SITUATION.
JOHNSON AND JOHNSON
IN 1995 AND FSR • 6.LOOK INTO OPTIONS
ASSOCIATES (N.D.) PROVIDE TOGETHER.
SOME TIPS ON HOW WE
CAN HANDLE ANGRY • *IF YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THE
CONFRONTATIONS OTHER PERSON’S WRATH, ASK
CONSTRUCTIVELY: FOR HELP- MIDDLE PERSON-
ARBITER
 • 1. MOVE AWAY- FLIGHT. GET OUT OF THE
SITUATION.- ISSUE IS TRIVIAL OR THE
PERSON HAS NO POWER TO CHANGE
THE SITUATION. (FLIGHT)
• 2. MOVE AGAINST.-WIN THE BATTLE.- ISSUE
IS IMPORTANT, THE PARTY IS RIGHT, S/HE
W H AT AR E T H E MAI N HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE THE
OP T I ONS I N DE AL I NG W I T H SITUATION. (FIGHT)
CONFL I CT S? • 3. GIVE UP OR GIVE IN. GOAL IS TO
PRESERVE HARMONY IN A RELATIONSHIP-
VALIDITY OF THE P.O.V. (ACCOMMODATE)
FLIGHT, FIGHT, • 4. GIVE HALF. –MEET IN THE MIDDLE.
ACCOMMODATE, WILLING TO GIVE UP PART OF THEIR
GOALS. (COMPROMISE)
COMPROMISE, • 5. MOVE TOWARDS.-DIALOGUE OR
FACE/COLLABORATE COLLABORATE WITH YOUR ADVERSARY.
• (FACE-COLLABORATE).
 • FROM CENTER FOR PEACE
EDUCATION SURVEY: 267
RESPONDENTS
• WHAT OPTION/S DO YOU
W H AT AR E T H E ST E P S I N TAKE WHEN IN CONFLICT?
COL L AB OR ATIV E P ROB L E M -
SOLV I NG APP ROACH ? • 37%- MOVE AWAY
• 9% -AGGRESSION
SOME • 17%- TALK TO THEIR
RESEARCHED- ADVERSARY
BASED • 36%- GIVE UP OR DO
STATISTICS: COPING TECHNIQUES LIKE
TALK TO A FRIEND
 1. SPEAK IN A GENTLE , NON-
THREATENING VOICE
2. THINK OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO
SAY, REFRAIN FROM ANGERING THE
PERSON.
WHAT ARE SOME TIPS TO A 3. USE THE “I” MESSAGE. “YOU” TEND TO
GOOD DIALOGUE? BE BLAMING OR REPROACHFUL
4. AVOID HAZY STATEMENTS “ALWAYS”
FROM AKKAPKA- 1987 “NEVER”. BE MORE SPECIFIC.

JOHNSON & JOHNSON- 5. ADMIT YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY

1995 TO THE CONFLICT. SUCH WILL
SOFTEN THE POSITIONAL STANCE.
FISHER & STONE -1990 6. BE WILLING TO TELL THE OTHER
RUIZ-N.D, PERSON/S THEIR ATTRIBUTES. CREATE
TRUST AND OPENNESS.
 • 7. SHOW POSITIVE REGARD
AND RESPECT. DO NOT CALL
NAMES, HUMILIATE, BLAME,
CHARACTERIZE OR JUDGE.
• 8. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE
WHAT ARE SOME TIPS TO A TEMPTATION OF
GOOD DIALOGUE? RETURNING HURT FOR
HURT.
FROM AKKAPKA- 1987 • 9. BE TOUGH ON THE
PROBLEM BUT NOT ON THE
JOHNSON & JOHNSON- PERSON IT’S THE BEHAVIOUR
1995 THAT YOU DISAGREE WITH
FISHER & STONE -1990 AND NOT THE PERSON.
RUIZ-N.D, • 10. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING
PERSONALLY.
 • LISTENING TIPS:
• 1. ACTIVELY LISTEN TO OTHER’S P.O.V.
• 2. LISTEN WITH EMPATHY AND TRY TO STAND
ON THE SHOE OF THE OTHER.
• 3.ACCEPT CRITICISM OF YOUR IDEAS AND
BEHAVIOUR.
WHAT ARE SOME TIPS TO A • 4. PARAPHRASE OR CLARIFY.
GOOD DIALOGUE?
• COLLABORATING TIPS:
• 1. STATE YOUR NEEDS AND INTERESTS.
LISTENING AND • 2. DEAL WITH ISSUES ONE AT A TIME.

COLLABORATING • 3. STATE REPEATEDLY YOUR POSITIVE

INTENTIONS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

TIPS: • 4. BE SOLUTION-ORIENTED. LOOK FOR

SOLUTIONS WIN-WIN SITUATION FOR ALL
PARTIES INVOLVED.
 • WHAT IS A GOOD MEDIATOR?
• IMPARTIAL OR UNBIASED
• NON-JUDGMENTAL OR UNDERSTANDING
• FLEXIBLE OR CREATIVE
• REFRAME SITUATION AND BROADEN
WHAT IS MEDIATION ? PERSPECTIVES
• GOOD ANALYSIS INTERESTS OR REASONS
BEHIND THE DEMANDS OR POSITIONS
DISPUTANTS SOMETIMES FIND OF PARTIES INVOLVED
THEMSELVES LACKING IN
COURAGE OR SKILLS IN • TRUSTWORTHY AND OPTIMISTIC
HANDLING OR DEALING WITH • ANTICIPATE POSITIVE OUTCOME AND
DISPUTES SO THERE IS A NEED INFLUENCE ADVERSARIES WITH SUCH
FOR AN IMPARTIAL PARTY TO HOPE
MEDIATE BETWEEN DISPUTANTS. • UNSUCCESSFUL, ENCOURAGE
DISPUTANTS TO TRY AGAIN
 • GOALS IN SETTLING
DISPUTES SHOULD GO
BEYOND THE RESOLUTION
OF ISSUES.
WHAT IS CONFLICT • TARGET IS TO BUILD
TRANSFORMATION? CREATIVE SOLUTIONS THAT
IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS.
ISSUES ARE IMPORTANT BUT • POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
RELATIONSHIPS ARE JUST AS
IMPORTANT.
INSTEAD OF JUST FOCUSING
ON CONSEQUENCES OF
CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION IS
MUCH HIGHER THAN WRONGDOINGS, REWARD
CONFLICT RESOLUTION. AS WELL GOOD DEEDS OR
PARTIES CHANGE THEIR ACTIONS.
ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIOURS.
PEACE EDUC ATION

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