Autobiographical Essy 1

Autobiographical Essy

Josiah M. Dixon

Professor Rapley

College of Western Idaho

The Challenge of Bureaucracies

I was born in Corvallis Oregon in the 90s to a single and attorney Cathy, my childhood.

We lived in the small town of Monmouth, Oregon in-between the Capital of Oregon Salem and

Oregon State University in Corvallis about 30-40 minutes outside of Eugene. Monmouth is home

to Western Oregon University (WOU) nestled in the corner of the town and surrounded by large

timber trees. Monmouth is a logging town of only about 11,000 souls live within 2.3 sq mile of

the town. I live in a modest house with my mother and two brothers, as I stated earlier, I was

raised by my mother exclusively, with some help of some male role models to iron out some

wrinkles. My mother worked as a lawyer in the capital city 30 mins away, she owned her own

practice and did for 17 years be for growing ill. My mother was an extremely educated women

holding degrees from Cambridge, Willamette School of Law, and a Master from Pacific

University where she took an instructor role for the medical department to teach medical law.

So how did I end up a drop out Senior year with high school credits and needing 24? I

will start with the beginning and work are way to know about to graduate with an Associates in

Secondary Education. My elementary school was a disaster for, no, I did not have trouble

making friends at that age. I was a wild child. I was fear of every elementary teacher at

Monmouth Elementary School (MES), that they would be stuck wrangling me in throughout the

day. I often found my mom attempting to advocate that I needed to stay in the general education

classes and not be moved to Special Education, also rejecting the advice that I should be put on

speed. The battles with the administration continued, throughout the years. Until finally my

mother was convinced by a friend to give it a shot.

The Challenge of Bureaucracies

I realize now that the special education world has come a long way sense the early 90s.

There was a stigma that if you were in there you were kind of a lost hope, the teachers didn’t

really see you going that far and they. There was nothing wrong with expect I lacked the skills

that I need to pay attention to. I had severe undiagnosed ADHD. It was finally diagnosed when I

was 27 years old. It was not my mother’s fault I was just one of those kids that drain the life out

of you, trust me I know now with my son, who is also struggling with the same thing. My mother

was concerned that shoving meds down my little thought was not the option. I early years of

special education there were behavioral specialist in school to handle unruly offenders who need

the extra resources for behavior management and intervention. So, there was no help for me to

help regulate my growing emotions.

In the after the 3rd Grade my mother was at her wits end with the lack of behavioral

support and decide that catholic school was the logical answer for a quick attitude and behavior

adjustment, which was weird because it cost money to send me to a private school and we were

not Catholic. My mother was raised against the catholic church in England, but when you are

known for handling unruly little ones and destroying cultures who better to go to than the

Catholic Church. Disclosure that there is probably nothing wrong with church but in my

experience, I did not have the best time at St. Mary located 3 blocks from my mother’s work. I

found it to boring to be in school, I wanted to go play and discover and use my hands not sit in

mass getting destroyed by a priest from South Africa who had a disliked children with their

hands in their pockets.

The Challenge of Bureaucracies

In about a year I had proven to my mother that this was not going to work, she

disenrolled me from the private school and back to the public school I went to. Only this time

there was a catch, we were moving to a city just outside of Portland named Lake Oswego. I was

not happy at all. I had spent 12 years of my life living in Monmouth, all my friends were their

and I was happy to be around what family I did have left. We slowly packed up our home on

Jacobson way and headed north Portland.

I attended Lakeridge High School across the lake from the top football team in Oregon. It

was the best of rivalries, The Battle for the Lake, Lakeridge High vs Lake Oswego High School.

Football was everything in that city. Football was my way out in high school, it was the only

thing that I was good at when I was in school. Now that I am a bit older, I have come to find that

most subjects that I was fearful of probably did well in.

It all went downhill my junior year after tearing my ACL first game of the season, little

did I know that would be the last time I stepped on to a football field. After leaving the military I

realized that there is more than one physical effect to being injured, the mental effect is the

worst, I have sunk into a huge depression and eventually gave up on myself. In a flash all my

hopes and dreams of grinding my way through college disappeared. I knew that my mother

would never be able to pay for me to go to school and that my chance to get a scholarship was

set ablaze by one imbalanced step into the ground. I will say that tearing my ACL is minor

compared to the ailments I suffer from post 8 years in the military.

I was lost and not going anywhere any time soon I quickly dropped out of school in Lake

Oswego and kind of became a mooch. I never worked because it was difficult at the time to find

a job that would work for a lazy stoner kid without a diploma or degree.
The Challenge of Bureaucracies

Soon I had enough with the small city vibes and was invited to go stay with my dad’s

family in California, my dad is originally from Compton California. He grew up as a member of

the Treetop Piru which is a faction of the blood found on laurel and king in Compton. He’s been

shot, stabbed, and was missing a few teeth from his younger days running around the streets of

South Central. My father is not what I would call a nice person, he grew up in an extremely

unpredictable environment. Long story short my dad is still around an incarcerated for life

somewhere in the northeast we don’t ever talk because who has time in today’s world to talk to

someone in prison.

I went to live with my auntie Nita in Rialto about 45 mins from Los Angels, the locals

called it mini-Compton. Culture shock for sure, I learned a few good invaluable lessons when I

was there. Hard work makes succus, I was terrified of being stuck there and having to resort to

gang activity to make a living. So, I turned to the only savior I could find to get out. At 18 years

of age, I re enrolled in high school, Carter High School was my safe place at 18, I remember that

cops could stop a group of minorities for walking to close together so when we walked home, we

would walk in a staggard group to not draw attraction to ourselves, during this time cops have a

couple of questionable shootings unarmed black men in the area. We were normal kids afraid to

die over a misunderstanding we took it quite seriously when we would miss the bus and must

walk the 3 miles to school.

The worst school meeting took place about 2 months before summer. I had been able to

make up 6 more credits and was attending and doing better. The school arranged a student parent

conference for the morning where we would talk about my future in detail. I forgot her name but

never this moment when the career consoler advised me that I should quit school and go find

work at a place that does not require a High School diploma. I was left speechless by this
The Challenge of Bureaucracies

comment, but my aunt was not. She immediately began giving that consoler a piece of her mind

suggesting kids should give up. There is a lot more to my life and how I got to where I am, but

this moment was the reenforcing moment for me deciding to become an educator. I firsthand

have been behind the curve I understand the emotions behind failing school, the struggle of being

down and out. That counselor did more for me than I could ever imagine, I heard a quote once

about a man that once bet a guy 5 million dollars that he could not become a Navy Seal, after the

man graduates from buds, he could never actually find the man. Because if he did, he would owe

the guy 5 million dollars. I think of that as the bed that the consular subsensory made with me

that day.

I am about to finish my first college degree and it was all because I trusted the idea of

getting organized, checking the boxes, and showing up which is the hardest part especially when

it is a dreaded subject like mathematics. I have found out so much about myself on this

educational journey, I am genuinely grateful for the cards that I was delt in my life, I would not

be where I am today with a bump in the road, no solid education, having to raise myself while

my mother was in out of hospitals. Yes, I would have loved to of had the childhood my teen

friends had, but it wouldn’t have made me into the husband I am today and the father. Some time

the road less traveled is the bump one, but it still gets you somewhere other than indecision.