To My Nine-Year-Old Self

Helen Dunmore

"To My Nine-Year-Old Self" is written in the form of a dramatic monologue delivered by an adult woman speaking to her nine-
year-old self. The setting of the poem is metaphorical; the speaker is not literally traveling through time, but rather is envisioning talking to the
girl she once was. The speaker begins with asking her younger self for "forgive[ness]" for intruding upon her. The speaker therefore recognizes
that she is an unwanted adult presence in the mind of her younger self.

You must forgive me. Don't look so surprised, Direct address

perplexed, and eager to be gone
balancing on your hands or on the tightrope
You would rather run than walk, rather climb than run
rather leap from a height than anything.
High modality word - reflects the limited options of adults. Juxtaposes with adult
behavior
Rising Triplicate - 3 adjectives to describe her younger selves reactions
Anaphora - specifies the child’s preference for dangerous and exciting activities-
more adventurous nature in her childhood
Dynamic verbs illustrate the spontaneity of childhood (euphoric language)

I have spoiled this body we once shared.
Look at the scars, and watch the way I move,
careful of a bad back or a bruised foot.
Do you remember how, three minutes after waking
we'd jump straight out of the ground floor window
into the summer morning?
Change in address- unification between younger and older self
Imperative sentence- sense of regret that the adult body has placed limitations
on the speaker
Symbolism- symbolic of emotional and physical trauma
Alliteration - cacophonous language to illustrate the trauma of aging - harsh
aural effect
RQ- REMINISCING on the past- how her adult body has constraints
We- inclusive pronoun used when reminiscing the past which elicits her desire
to be back there
Pathetic fallacy contrasts with the negativity of the stanza
Summer symbolic of carefree and possibilities (attention)
Semantic field of suffering- metaphorically juxtaposes the ability of a child to
heal physically which and emotionally in contrast with an adults’ inability

That dream we had, no doubt it's as fresh in your mind Metaphor for childhood optimism
as the white paper to write it on. Symbolism- limitless possibilities and potential
We made a start, but something else came up -
a baby vole, or a bag of sherbet lemons -
and besides that summer of ambition
created an ice-lolly factory, a wasp trap
and a den by a cesspit
I'd like to say we could be friends
but the truth is we have nothing in common
beyond a few shared years. I won't keep you then.
Time to pick rosehips for tuppence a pound,
time to hide down scared lanes
from men in cars after girl-children
or to lunge out over the water
on the rope that swings from that tree
long buried in housing -
But no, I shan't cloud your morning. God knows
I have fears enough for us both -
I leave you in an ecstasy of concentration
slowly peeling a ripe scab from your knee
to taste it on your tongue.
Inclusive pronoun - illustrates her desire to be unified with the dreams she had
in childhood
Lists magnitude of childhood experiences to describe how children can become
interested in anything new
Pathetic fallacy- representative of happier time full of opportunities
Symbolic of wasted opportunities -potential left to fester and rot
Caesura and enjambment illustrative of short attention span of childhood
Imagery- tastes of childhood to establish nostagia
Lexis of den - animal imagery alludes to the underlying sense of conflict she
has when reflecting on childhood identity as it is animalistic and uncivilized
Asyndeton(absence of conjunctions) - reflects the attention span of a child and
their winder in mundane things - elicits nostalgia
Volta change (-established in imagery) in tone- reflects on the presence of
danger transitions from idyllic memories of childhood to dangers
Juxtaposition- from an innocent wholesome childhood experience to the
transience of dangers in the world
Motif- subtle recurring referent to trauma
symbolic of how changes have occurred. Physically urbanization has buried a
childhood swing and metaphorically childhood has been buried
Semantic field alluding to death - representative of vulnerability of childhood
Transition from we to you- may signify her desire to separate herself from those
memories - older and younger self are separate as uses separate pronouns.
Cyclical structure- back to 2nd person. Brings the tone of resolution /
acceptance
Terminates on this Semantic field of suffering and pain which runs throughout
the poem. Resonates the earlier imagery of scars, bruised foot and a bad back-
ends in pain which foreshadows (hint about whats to happen) future suffering in
life.
May also alluded to the fearlessness of being a child. What would disgust an
adult, captivates the child which may represent a child’s insatiable appetite to
experience everything.