HyperDoc On The Principles of Speech Writing

Principles of Speech Writing
According to Benjamin Franklin, “By failing to plan, you are preparing to fail.” Writing an
effective speech follows specific steps or processes like event planning or other
activities. The process of writing is not chronological or linear; instead, it is recursive.
That means you can repeat a writing procedure indefinitely or produce multiple drafts
before settling on the right one.
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Before proceeding to the next page,
read the SUMMARY section of this HyperDoc Lesson! (Left Side)
ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

HyperDocs on the Principles of Speech Writing
Compiled, Curated and Created by: Doveen Mark Mendoza Alburo, MEAL, LPT
Audience Analysis
Engage
You should know your crowd!
M
Explore It is essential to think about who you will be speaking to so that you
will be able to keep them interested. Will your audience know about
the material you will be speaking about? Or will they be learning
something new? When considering your audience, it is always better
to speak using language that is simple so that everyone can
understand. Using complex language, especially jargon, runs the risk
of excluding audience members.
D
Watch these two (2) speeches of the late Sen. Miriam Defensor
Santiago and describe her audiences in 3-5 sentences only (per
video). Who do you think were her audiences in these two (2)
different occasions?
VIDEO 1:
Miriam Defensor Santiago at the University of
Perpetual Help, Laguna
Describe Santiago’s audiences in Video 1. Type your response HERE:

VIDEO 2:
Miriam Santiago: Rules of evidence are very clear,
why are we splitting hairs?!
Describe Santiago’s audiences in Video 2. Type your response HERE:
Learn as much as you can about the people who will be in the room
Explain
and the event itself. Understanding who they are and why they are
attending the event will help you to write a speech that is appropriate
– and relevant – for them.
Watch these two (2) videos about Audience Analysis.
M WATCH: Know Your Audience by Word Cortex with Anita
WATCH: How to Analyze an Audience for Public Speaker
Audience analysis entails looking into the profile of your target

audience. This is done so you can tailor-fit your speech content and
delivery to your audience. The profile includes the following
information.
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● Demography (age range, male-female ratio, educational
background and affiliations or degree program taken,
nationality, economic status, academic or corporate
designations)
● Situation (time, venue, occasion, and size)
● Psychology (values, beliefs, attitudes, preferences, cultural

and racial ideologies, and needs)

Apply
Describe your audience using this

AUDIENCE ANALYSIS JAMBOARD.
M PASTE YOUR SCREENSHOT HERE (jpeg/png):

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Share
Share the LINK of your Audience Analysis Jamboard to a classmate

or a friend who is also taking an Oral Communication course. Let
him/her comment on your analysis. You may use SMS or FB
Reflect
M Messenger.
Name of the Commentor:
Paste his/her comments/feedback HERE (text form):
Answer this question in 3-5 sentences only:

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Why is it important to know your audience?
It is important to know your audience in order to communicate
effectively. You can make your message more likely to be understood and
accepted by adapting it to fit their needs, interests, and comprehension
levels. Additionally, it enables you to determine their worries, questions, and
objections, establishing credibility and confidence. It's also necessary to
change your communication approach in order to meet their preferences.
You can make them more likely to adopt desirable behaviors or activities by
aligning your message with their values and beliefs. Furthermore, you may
reduce the possibility of misunderstanding and make sure your message is
understood by knowing the background, cultural norms, and language skills
of your audience. All things considered, recognizing your audience is critical
to reaching your goals and preventing miscommunication.

READ: Audience Analysis by University of Pittsburgh
Extend
Purpose of the Speech

Engage
Explore
M Your life has a purpose, so is your speech.
Watch these two (2) speeches of the late Sen. Miriam Defensor
Santiago and describe her purposes in 3 sentences only (per video).
What were her purposes on these two (2) different occasions?
D
VIDEO 1:
Miriam Defensor Santiago at the University of
Perpetual Help, Laguna
Describe Santiago’s purpose in Video 1. Type your response HERE:
VIDEO 2:
Miriam Santiago: Rules of evidence are very clear,
why are we splitting hairs?!
Describe Santiago’s purpose in Video 2. Type your response HERE:

The purpose for writing and delivering the speech can be classified
Explain
into three—to inform, to entertain, or to persuade. Depending on
what your ultimate goal is, you will start by picking one of these
general purposes and then selecting an appropriate speech pattern
that goes along with that general purpose.
● An informative speech provides the audience with a clear

understanding of the concept or idea presented by the
speaker. Informative speeches can focus on objects, people,
M ● An
events, concepts, processes, or issues. It is important to
remember that your purpose in an informative speech is to
share information with an audience, not to persuade them to
do or believe something.
entertainment speech provides the audience

amusement. Entertainment speeches can be after-dinner,
with
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ceremonial, or inspirational. Although there may be informative
or persuasive elements to your speech, your primary reason
for giving the speech is to entertain the audience.
● A persuasive speech provides the audience with well-argued

ideas that can influence their own beliefs and decisions. There
are two basic types of persuasion: pure and manipulative.
Speakers who attempt to persuade others for pure reasons do
so because they actually believe in what they are persuading
an audience to do or think. Speakers who persuade others for
manipulative reasons do so often by distorting the support for

their arguments because they have an ulterior motive in
persuading an audience to do or think something. If an
audience finds out that you’ve been attempting to manipulate
them, they will lose trust in you.
WATCH:
Speech Purpose and Central Idea by COMMpadres Media
The formula for creating the purpose of your speech manuscript is:
General Purpose (GP) + Audience + Detailed Goals
Create your purpose by supplying the items in the table:

Apply
General Purpose
M Specific
Audience
Detailed Goals
Provide a brief explanation (2-3 sentence) of the purpose of your

speech:
D
Share your table above and its explanation to your friend or
Share classmate. Ask for their comments or feedback.
Paste his/her comment HERE (text form):
NOTE: Based on the feedback/comment, you may or may not revise your purpose.
Answer these questions in 5-7 sentences only:

Reflect
How would you know if a speech is informative or entertaining?
How about if it’s a persuasive speech?
It's important to take into consider a speech's main goal and

content in order to classify it. While entertaining presentations
engage and joy with comedy, narrative, stories, or graphics,
informative speeches seek to educate the audience through the
presentation of facts, data, or explanations. Aiming to persuade the
audience to embrace a specific perspective or course of action,
persuasive speeches include strategies such as logical
argumentation, emotive appeals, examples, proof, and persuasive
tools. As a result, in order to correctly identify the speech's character,
these factors must be taken into into consideration.
READ: General Purposes of the Speaker

Extend
Topic of the Speech

Engage
M
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🥱
Knowing your topic is as important as knowing your grade in
Pre-Calculus

Explore
M Watch these two (2) TedTalk videos about ‘sleep’.
WATCH:
One More Reason to Get a Good Night Sleep
WATCH:
Sleep-Engineering: Improve your Life by
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Manipulating Your Sleep
Although both speakers were talking about the same topic, they were
focusing on different matters and dealing with different specificities.
So, what makes these two speeches different from each other?
Answer this question in 3-5 sentences only.
Type your response here:
The topic is the focal point of your speech, which can be determined
Explain
once you have decided on your purpose. If you are free to decide on
a topic, choose one that really interests you. There are a variety of
strategies used in selecting a topic, such as using your personal
experiences, discussing with your family members or friends, free
writing, listing, asking questions, or semantic webbing.
WATCH: Finding Speech Topics

Once you’ve selected a speech topic, your next step is to narrow it.
Many beginning public speakers start with a topic that is much too
broad and become overwhelmed. The problem with a broad topic is
that you will not be able to adequately address it in the allotted time,
you will spend unnecessary time researching it, and you will tend to
M only be able to present superficial details on a general topic. It is

almost always more effective and interesting to speak in depth about
a focused topic than to try to superficially cover a broad topic.
Narrowing down a topic means making your main idea more specific
and focused. The strategies in selecting a topic can also be used
when you narrow down a topic.
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So, how do you narrow your topic? This section will outline three
strategies for narrowing a topic:
Clustering
Inverted Pyramid
Let’s say you’ve chosen to speak about yoga. That’s a great start, but
is still too broad. Using the topic of yoga as an example, we’ll apply
the three strategies to creating a focused, doable topic.
Clustering allows you to explore and identify related subtopics to

your general topic. Write your general topic (“yoga”) in the center
bubble on a piece of paper, then draw lines and more bubbles and fill
those with a variety of related sub-topics. Some of these sub-topics
will generate sub-sub and sub-sub-sub topics and so. on It might look
something like this:
M As you cluster, you will start to identify more focused topics that
interest you and your audience. You will also be able to edit out
topics that aren’t relevant to you and your audience.
WATCH: Narrowing Your Topic

D
The Inverted Pyramid is another visual technique where you start
with your broad topic at the top, then make it more specific
step-by-step. Each topic should be a sub-topic of the one above it, so
your pyramid follows the same thread. As always, focus on areas of
your topic that interest and relate to you and your audience. Your
narrowed speech topic might be what you end up with at the bottom
of your inverted pyramid, or part-way down.
For instance, in the following illustration, you might ultimately decide

on the speech topic of “How Yoga Practice Can Help College
Students Manage Anxiety.”

M WATCH: Narrowing a Research (Speech) Topic
A final strategy to narrow your speech topic is to explore your broad

topic with initial research, which can take different forms.
Using the topic of yoga, your research might include a conversation

with your yoga instructor to find out what aspects of the practice
D
might be most interesting and relevant for your audience. If you use
social media, you might poll your friends and family about what
aspects of your topic they are most curious about. A face-to face
discussion with classmates, co-workers, friends, and family members
about your topic is also a great option! Finally, use Internet search
engines to read some articles and discover more about your topic.
Since your audience for this class will be college students, adding the
phrase “for college students” to your search query can be helpful for
some topics. For instance, you might search “benefits of yoga for
college students.” Initial research will help you identify more focused

variations of your broad topic.
Clustering, Inverted Pyramid, and Initial Research are strategies that

will help you take a broad topic and narrow it so it is manageable, is
interesting, and allows you to go in-depth in your research and what
you ultimately present to your audience.
Click this link to create your own Mind Map (Clustering):

Apply https://miro.com/templates/mind-map/
If you are satisfied with your own map, paste the image here:
Share
M Note: When you access the link for the first time, you will be required to sign up. Don’t worry! It’s
free of charge.
Share your table above and its explanation to your friend or

classmate. Ask for their comments or feedback.
Paste his/her comment HERE (text form):

D
NOTE: Based on the feedback/comment, you may or may not revise your topic.
Supply the items in the table:

Reflect
General Purpose [Paste your response from the previous page here]
Specific Audience [Paste your response from the previous page here]
Detailed Goals [Paste your response from the previous page here]
General Topic [This is based on your Mind Map]
Narrowing down a [This is based on your Mind Map]

topic through
listing (Create 3 [This is based on your Mind Map]
specifics topics)
[This is based on your Mind Map]

Answer these questions in 3-5 sentences only:
Why did you choose this topic for your next speech performance?
READ: Selecting and Narrowing Your Topic

Extend
M
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Data Gathering
READ
M He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does

not ask a question remains a fool forever. –Chinese Proverb
D

READ:
Gathering supporting materials for your speech requires creativity,
thoroughness, and careful note-taking.
There are many possible sources of evidence or support for your

speech. Five of the most common sources are:
● Your Own Experiences
● Others’ Experiences
● Academic Research
● Internet Research
● Interviews
To these, we could add a sixth: Thinking Outside the Box
M Within these categories we can further differentiate between primary

sources and secondary sources.
Primary sources: information that is first-hand or straight from the

source; information that is unfiltered by interpretation or editing.
Secondary sources: information that is not directly from the source;
information that has been compiled, filtered, edited, or interpreted in
some way.
D
Personal Experience
Have you heard the phrase, “Start with what you know”? Well, this
statement is true for gathering speech material! You’ve likely chosen
your speech topic because you have a personal connection to it, and
including your own experiences will add meaning, personality, and
personalization. Imagine working on a speech called “How to Write a
Successful College Resume.” If you were gathering supporting
material from personal experience, you might find different versions
of your own resume, or wonder what you could have done better on
your resume. You might write a short account of your experience
working with an advisor at your college’s career center. Take time to

consider your experiences related to your topic and how you might
integrate them into your speech.
If you’re planning to talk about the experiences of someone you

know, make sure you have their consent to do so, or change the
details of the story enough that the person’s identity cannot be
guessed. Even if you’ve concealed the identity of the person
involved, it can be problematic to tell others’ stories without their
involvement; some stories are just not yours to tell. This question
often comes up when artists or authors portray experiences that are
not theirs, thus raising the possibility that they are exploiting the
story, rather than inhabiting it with artistic empathy. If you want to tell
a story to humanize a statistical or social reality, it’s often best to
M create a hypothetical example, or to use a publicly available source,

to avoid any sense you might be exploiting a story to make your
point.
In this powerful and popular TED talk, writer Chimamanda Ngozi

Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural
voice—and warns that if we hear only a single story about another
person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding. Pay close
D
attention from the 2:51 to the 4:05 mark as she uses a story from her
childhood to make her point.
WATCH: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The

danger of a single story
Academic Research
Academic (or scholarly) research includes materials written by
experts reviewed by other experts in their field (also known as
peer-reviewed). This type of research typically includes background
on a topic and details about a research study and its results.

Academic research is published in scholarly journals, dissertations,
and professional conference proceedings. You can find academic
research and scholarly journals through databases in your college’s
library, including Academic OneFile and JSTOR. Google Scholar is a
free search engine where you can search for research on a wide
range of topics.
Using the search term “learning poverty” in Google Scholar

(https://scholar.google.com/) shows thousands of results. Try it now.
Then, paste a useful article to read for the speech topic on learning
poverty.
Paste a screenshot of the article’s first page here:
M Internet Research
It involves using a search engine like Google to find relevant articles,
websites, blogs, photos, etc., to support your speech. For the speech
topic “Successful Resumes for College Students,” you might look at
the resources on your college’s career center website, articles in
magazines like Forbes, or examples of great and not-so-great
resumes on a job listing site like Indeed.com.
D
Try searching the terms “learning poverty” in a Google search.
Paste a screenshot of your Google search here:
Not every article you read will seem relevant to your speech, but
since your topic is probably evolving, keep a careful list of your notes
and their sources.

Note: The internet can be a great research tool, but it is also
chock-full of errors, misinformation, half-truths, time-sinks, scams,
and things that are just plain unpleasant. When using the internet for
research, it is crucial to ask probing questions about the credibility of
your source. The next page has in-depth recommendations about
assessing whether online sources are credible.
Internet research can provide materials for your main ideas,

supporting evidence and examples. Credible articles and websites
will also include statements from experts on your topic, whom you
can then quote or paraphrase in your speech. Pay attention to any
stories, anecdotes, research, and examples you might integrate into
your speech. Your internet research will be useful for exploring your
M topic more broadly and gathering supporting examples that will add
depth and personality to your speech.
Interviews
Students are often surprised at how they can add value to their
speeches with interviews. An interview might be a formal situation
where you contact an expert, a professor, etc., and schedule a time
to ask them specific questions about your speech topic. Alternatively,
D
you might email or text your questions. Contact the interviewee early
in your research and be sure to ask questions that aren’t easy to find
from other sources. For instance, if you interview a career advisor
about resumes, it would be a waste of the advisor’s time to ask what
a resume is. Instead, ask interesting questions like, “What are the
most common mistakes you see students make on their resumes?”
or “What’s one thing you wish more students knew about resumes?”
or “How have resumes changed over the past couple of years?” Be
sure to take careful notes and always follow up with a gracious
thank-you note.
Don’t overlook those in your personal network who might have
valuable information on your topic. In your research about resumes,

you might ask questions of your aunt who works in recruiting at a
hospital. Or, you might ask your roommate questions about their
recent resume experience applying for an internship.
Thinking Outside the Box

As you gather materials for your speech content, be open to creative
ways to gather material that can add value and interest to your
speech. Throughout your research, look for video clips, photos, gifs,
memes, etc., that will add energy and interest to your speech. For
instance, as you’re researching resumes, you might remember a
scene from the 2001 comedy Legally Blonde and tie it into your
introduction as a humorous way to introduce common resume
mistakes.
M In the 2001 hit movie Legally Blonde, sorority girl Elle Woods is
approached by her Harvard Law professor after a strong showing in
class. He tells her she did well in class and should apply for his
internship and asks if she has her resume. Elle says, “Yes, I do. Here
it is.” When the professor sees it, all he can say is, “It’s pink!” to
which Elle responds, “And it’s scented! I think it gives it a little
something extra! Don’t you think?…Ok, well, see ya next class.”
D
Depending on your topic, another type of supporting material might
come from polls or questions to connections on social media. You
might create a poll that asks about resume experience, or simply ask
for stories about good or bad resume experiences. While the results
of these polls or questions are not scientific, they can often provide
some anecdotes, peer testimonials, or insights you might not have
considered.
These outside-the-box materials might be used as a hook in your

introduction or as more colorful or personalized support for your
main points.

Answer the following items in 2-5 sentences only:
SHARE
a. What are the things that are not clear to you? (if any)
b. What have you understood?
c. What are your realizations
After answering the posted questions, approach one of your

classmates and share your responses for every item.
VALUE
M Name of the classmate:
Based on your experience, what source is useful in gathering

data in your speech? Why? (No Limit)
When preparing a speech, think about gathering information
from a variety of sources. Although academic journals publish
research that has been reviewed articles, books and scholarly pieces
provide in-depth, thoroughly studied material on a particular subject.
D
Reports and publications from the government provide reliable
information and analysis on a range of subjects, including social
issues, public policy, and economy. Surveys and interviews give your
speech more credibility by presenting firsthand facts and viewpoints
from pertinent people or organizations. One can access a large
number of academic books, research papers, and articles through
online databases and libraries. Reliable information can also be
found on trustworthy websites run by businesses, government
organizations, and educational institutions. Quantitative data can be
included using data repositories and statistics sources, which offer
access to surveys, databases, and statistical reports.However, it is
crucial to critically evaluate the credibility and expertise of these

sources before using them in your speech. By incorporating these
sources, you can ensure your speech is well-supported, credible,
and informative.
PRODUCE Based on your topic and purpose (refer to your previous

pages), provide some details of your data gathered from at least
2 common sources. You may use bullets to enlist your sources.
Example:
Topic Learning Poverty in the Philippines
Purpose To inform to the Grade 11 students on the
M Your Own
Experiences
Others’
Experiences
repercussions of learning poverty
●
●
●
●
My personal experience as a teacher.
My challenges in implementing hybrid
learning last SY 2020-2021
My co-teachers’ experience in VNHS

My students’ challenges in
accomplishing their SLMs and online
tasks
D
Academic ● Ending Learning Poverty: What Will It
Take?
Research
Azevedo, J., 2019. Ending Learning
Poverty: What Will It Take?, World Bank
Group. Retrieved from
https://policycommons.net/artifacts/1288
743/ending-learning-poverty/1889428/
on 19 Nov 2022. CID:
20.500.12592/sz1cgr.
Note: You may or may not supply all the sources indicated in this
table. Provide some details of your data gathered from at least 2
common sources.
Topic
Purpose

Your Own
Experience
Others’
Experiences
Academic
Research
Internet
Research
Interviews
M
By this time, I suppose you have a good grasp on the concepts of Audience Analysis, Purpose
of the Speech, Topic Selection, and Data Gathering. If contrary, go back to the parts where you
think you need more clarity. Explore the links provided.
D
Final Output for Phase 1
(You may or may not refer to your responses prior to this page. However, be reminded that all
your responses will be considered final and irrevocable. These are your bases for Phase 2.
Think wisely!)
Description of the
Audience
(Description of your
audience in 5-10
sentences)
Topic

Narrowed Topic
Purpose
(Use the formula:
General Purpose
(GP) + Audience +
Detailed Goals)
Data Sources ●
(Cite all data sources ●
in bullet form) ●
●
●
M
D

M References
D
Alexander Lyon. (2022). YouTube. Retrieved November 20, 2022, from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYLo4xcBy6c&list=RDLVL1yoL2Z9CsQ&index=2.
ANC. (2012). YouTube. Retrieved November 20, 2022, from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIeH8aeAhhg.
Kilgannon, A. (2021, August 20). Selecting and narrowing a topic. Advanced English.
Retrieved November 20, 2022, from
https://opentextbc.ca/advancedenglish/chapter/selecting-and-narrowing-a-topic/
Rappler. (2016). Full Speech: Miriam Defensor Santiago at the University of Perpetual
Help, Laguna. YouTube. Retrieved November 20, 2022, from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHmkCywTeSw.

Sipacio, P. J. F., & Ballgos, A. R. G. (2016). Oral Communication in Context. C & E
Publishing, Inc.
University of Pittsburg. (n.d.). Audience Analysis. Oral Communication Lab. Retrieved

November 20, 2022, from
https://www.comm.pitt.edu/oral-comm-lab/audience-analysis#:~:text=Audience%20analysi
s%20involves%20identifying%20the,delivered%20in%20an%20appropriate%20manner.
University of Pittsburgh. (2016, November 8). General purposes of speaking. Stand up

Speak out. Retrieved November 20, 2022, from
https://open.lib.umn.edu/publicspeaking/chapter/6-1-general-purposes-of-speaking/#:~:tex
t=There%20are%20three%20general%20purposes,to%20persuade%2C%20and%20to%
20entertain.
Word Cortex with Anita. (2019). YouTube. Retrieved November 20, 2022, from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1yoL2Z9CsQ.
YouTube. (2016). Speech Purpose & Central Idea. YouTube. Retrieved November 20,
2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsOxyci_CNM.
M
The materials used in this HyperDoc lesson are under Attribution-NonCommercial License:
This license lets others remix, adapt, and build upon your work non-commercially, and although
their new works must also acknowledge you and be non-commercial, they don’t have to license
their derivative works on the same terms.
D


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Principles of Speech Writing

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

You should know your crowd!

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Watch these two (2) videos about Audience Analysis.

M WATCH: Know Your Audience by Word Cortex with Anita

WATCH: How to Analyze an Audience for Public Speaker

Audience analysis entails looking into the profile of your target

● Situation (time, venue, occasion, and size)

● Psychology (values, beliefs, attitudes, preferences, cultural

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Describe your audience using this

M PASTE YOUR SCREENSHOT HERE (jpeg/png):

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Share the LINK of your Audience Analysis Jamboard to a classmate

Name of the Commentor:

Paste his/her comments/feedback HERE (text form):

Answer this question in 3-5 sentences only:

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Purpose of the Speech

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

● An informative speech provides the audience with a clear

entertainment speech provides the audience

● A persuasive speech provides the audience with well-argued

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Create your purpose by supplying the items in the table:

Provide a brief explanation (2-3 sentence) of the purpose of your

Name of the Commentor:

Paste his/her comment HERE (text form):

Answer these questions in 5-7 sentences only:

It's important to take into consider a speech's main goal and

READ: General Purposes of the Speaker

Topic of the Speech

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Type your response here:

WATCH: Finding Speech Topics

M only be able to present superficial details on a general topic. It is

Clustering allows you to explore and identify related subtopics to

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

WATCH: Narrowing Your Topic

For instance, in the following illustration, you might ultimately decide

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

A final strategy to narrow your speech topic is to explore your broad

Using the topic of yoga, your research might include a conversation

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

Clustering, Inverted Pyramid, and Initial Research are strategies that

Click this link to create your own Mind Map (Clustering):

Share your table above and its explanation to your friend or

Name of the Commentor:

Paste his/her comment HERE (text form):

Supply the items in the table:

General Topic [This is based on your Mind Map]

Narrowing down a [This is based on your Mind Map]

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

READ: Selecting and Narrowing Your Topic

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

M He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

There are many possible sources of evidence or support for your

M Within these categories we can further differentiate between primary

Primary sources: information that is first-hand or straight from the

ORAL COMMUNICATION IN CONTEXT

If you’re planning to talk about the experiences of someone you