A Consumer's Report Peter Porter

human
taisteace tonfidead lalilyJ,
The name of the product Itested is Life,
of the
Ihave completed the form you sent me
and understand that my answers are confidential.
myi
onfidential\,inlvocte do the
I had it as a gift, TRC's of repord
Ididn't feel much while using it,
In fact I think I'd have liked to be more excited.

Itseemed gentle onthe hands duseriplion of a

but left an embarrassing deposit behind.
f'yeical prod.ed
It was not economical

and Ihave used much more than I thought

(Isuppose I have about half left
but it's difficult to tell)
although the instructions are fairly large clinieal aa
there are so many of them
meekanical "pproccl to
uheertainty
Idon't know which to follow, especially
life'thal! is doven by
'iastruclions'
as they seem to contradict each other.
Paradoxiea
I'm not sure such a thing nature of 1ife tat i's
should be put in the way of children unpredietable and can
It's difficult tothink of a purpose not be run by
for it. One of my friends says of instruclins.
form:
Oramalie monologue lming emoliens o
loighligks t oversle
proe-|ike form, all ows
cOnversatiea ihe t
paredy 5 Creales coaseet to the speaker's hongts
4e reader
and feelig.
Lies 1-3
neveY
6you is never ideatifid aoy is the aadure of tle
"form" spe eified
premise is based ea aeal- lffe marte! ctavel
reseavel bul!
the egnal cquivalenl process Jor sometiag as
cOmi as is
left to imaginatioa.
bBaffles le eader.
aud the
Over
dene of cOnS
eoas úmeriShm
yanS WerS are

jole about the nalur

perlaps Goitalina
a

witl ti.
uaiverse God, ele.
the poem Satirises he Lyper-
dreats as
capailist society
evea tle osl
tt
raue,
profoud expnicaf imegind
Suggestivs iony
1.'Sueh a Ligsloald bi put in uay
moral Gelildrea, by viedue, of beig abve,Lave abeady
etlical beea eposed to life. commend Lits ad
Paradox L AB e same fime ,this
e mort familiar,; stvaigllfrard idea tal
kauing kids, brig ig eompheatad.
f anering js'maraly
it's just to keep its maker in a job. ife's mmales is a hum an bels
being
Also the price is much too high. Suggestinq He esfea Hal
aclivily to proenate &
Things are piling up so fast,
after all., the world got by repraduce.
for thousand million years
coatenp letig
tf decisieas
without this, do we need it now? sugges tive of
(Incidentally, please ask your man mid-life erisis
to stop calling me the respondent',.} breaks the ques heaig your
exicteace
I don't like the sound of it.)
There seems to be a lot of different labels,
coalinuons lo
G adds a sease of
sizes and colours should be uniform, kumdr to cheer up
the shape is awkward, it's waterproof monolony an d
but not heat resistant, it doesn't keep
yet it's very difficult to get rid of: from lallengs,
Pod
whenever they make it cheaper they tend ymboisn
mid ife crisi.
to put less inif you say you don't
want it, then it's delivered anyway.
I'd agree it's a popular product,
cleaper,so
more
Jouger
it's got into the language; people Sense
even say they're on the side ofit. aaslae of
ove rrated
Personally Ithink it's overdone,
a small thing people are ready
to behave badly about. Ithink
we shouldtake it for granted. Ifits

|ReNy:
-The 'ualer Cimplkily, Go J)iglt bi manfataiy
Iheir prodaed salely a
-Tais conceplion of God as Aedy andiaceure piity
iroaically conflkcly will raligions depiclio^s f
MmoA

God aspourfl,lowing ete. de buaing religo

 t world qot by for a talks about tle yars
4Lous and millioa years
it preseaAge
do weed
quetbioaing the need of kumans
4ivialises L'aficalt to fid apurpose
condribuins of Lumaus
’ le rspoadeal' he largr sebeme of lings
Jouare
aotling but numbr
COAShmey

Lbrivial
producd
tiy eumstanfet
a ereature of your cir
tesfanses do slinlas
tnot heal-esistat
an waderleas lsease of lust or desirea
heat'
Guneontrolled desives to procreale
acomoA
Cxprssian tle uariddl irres ts kive
espression of passian
cveales a
L'waler
walor doeswl andeal'are boll nquired Jor
ask for a
iS a sustaiuance)'waterprog and heat-istat'existeace
showLases aaSense of con trol or autlorityis also
OA he ateessihie yet a te lost coatrol
a

con tradiehier
experts are called philosophers or market
researchers or historians, we shouldn't
care. We are the consumers and the last
law makers. So finally, I'd buy it.
But the question of a best buy perhaps, oin tle deal
procuid
c an

I'dlike to leave until Iget bed or wkilo dying

the competitive product you said you'd send.

extreme commereialism
2 and eoASmerisn

'compedilivt, 'compebie product'

produel' Can ale
conld be 'Suggste
uggs anotheri fe
of deatt sonmtting Sngjeçling reliti,
So st: Lie anotler
ironical
and Provide
deatl can
Ais "fihon
byond" grave swilek bad
its cleve y menton
as at end
compelig ironit brand
sggest te strchre
as a
yela
opfons
to waver
, valer lan prafound, al-eaconpasig
sates