Find Me and You

@minjiiminie

a brief meeting with an idol leaves yoongi with a sexuality crisis. he soon finds
out she wasn’t an idol but a classmate doing cosplay. his questioning continues
once he becomes friends with the cosplayer and finds out he’s also going through an
identity crisis.

Tags
• cosplaying as real people (idols)
• one explicit scene
• lingerie
• under-negotiated kinks.
• characters that haven’t figured out everything about themselves and don’t have
all the tools/language to do so. most of it’s based on personal experience.
• crossdressing.
• loosely inspired by a subplot of the anime sarazanmai (2019)
• catfishing -not between the main characters-
• questioning (sexual orientation, identity, and gender)

*_______________*

Yoongi is tired. He hates whoever thought it was a good idea to have night classes,
and he hates professors that are bad at teaching. He hates this class, so when
there’s only half an hour left until it ends, Yoongi gives up and leaves the room
to smoke outside.

No one can smoke on college grounds, and Yoongi doesn't want to get in trouble if
someone catches him. But he also doesn’t like walking outside of campus just to
smoke. He doesn’t like how people gather outside the main entrance or the parking
lot for a quick cigarette.

Yoongi doesn’t like being around people, which is tricky considering he studies
music. His career path forces him to interact with many humans at all times. But
interacting with people in a studio is different from standing awkwardly next to
people that are also smoking.

Yoongi is lucky, though, because the Performing Arts Faculty is further away from
the rest of the Faculties. It’s that way because the singing, acting, and music
shouldn’t interrupt anyone’s studies. And since it’s such a small faculty, there’s
only one guard around. He can't smoke somewhere visible; he has to hide behind the
storage rooms, a small building where theatre students keep the props. It's behind
the Faculty, crossing a small garden. There are dressing rooms next to the storage
rooms, and the best hideout is between the two.
So late at night, Yoongi crosses the garden knowing no one will be there. He can
smoke alone. Of course, he has to be careful not to run across the guard, but it’s
unlikely to meet him. He prefers being alert to sharing the smoking area with many
people outside the campus.

Yoongi reaches the spot and lights up his cigarette. He relaxes with the warmth
down his throat and on his chest. He plays a mellow song on his AirPods, drowning
any sound from outside. He takes a long drag and breathes out a cloud of smoke when
he sees something weird.

Further away, near the bathrooms behind the storage rooms, he sees someone with
flashy clothes. A girl with flashy clothes: she's wearing a tight baby purple skirt
and a strange pinkish translucent blouse with puffy sleeves.

She is energetically dancing to a choreography.

Her animated steps don’t fit with the lullaby-esque song Yoongi is listening in his
phone. She's doing an idol group cover, judging by how she bends and waves her
hands, long pink hair shaking with every silly jump.

The off-beat performance is somewhat fascinating to watch.

The longer Yoongi watches her flailing her arms around, Yoongi realizes her antics
are not that weird because this is the Performing Arts Faculty. There are always
people with flashy clothes rehearsing something in the hallways. She is even
recording herself, Yoongi notices.

Yoongi takes another drag of smoke when she runs to see her phone. She watches the
recording with attention, apparently hates everything because she puts the phone
down again and goes back to dancing—yoongi chuckles. She has an odd way of moving,
like an animated cartoon.

It's late, and her recording must have poor lighting, so Yoongi wonders why she's
doing it right now and in this isolated place. He theorizes for a second and
guesses that she must think no one is close, just like Yoongi is here to smoke
because there’s no one around.

Perhaps, he shouldn't be watching. But the stranger's bright look caught Yoongi's
eyes.

Yoongi isn’t into women, but he must admit she’s objectively pretty even from afar.
She has a lovely figure, but more than that, Yoongi likes how the color of her
blouse matches her hair.

Now that he's paying more attention, he thinks it's a wig. Yoongi can tell even
from a distance, but it looks lovely. Yoongi likes it when people dress up like
that, attentive to the little details. Regardless of gender, he just finds it
aesthetically pleasing.

She continues dancing for the camera, and Yoongi thinks it’s time to stop watching.
So, instead, he focuses on the grass in the garden.

Soon, he feels water on his forehead. A drop, then another. Yoongi looks up and
sees the dark sky. More droplets. Perfect, it started raining.

Before he gets soaked, he drops the cigarette to the ground and jogs to the
dressing rooms where the girl is dancing.

She hasn’t noticed the rain, and she doesn’t see Yoongi until his steps resonate
against the asphalt. Then, finally, she whips her head around and squeaks.

“Oh, God.” It’s an odd greeting.

“Hey.” Yoongi squints his eyes while removing his Airpods and ruffling his black
hair, ensuring it’s still dry. She only looks at him in fear.

Up close, Yoongi can see her features clearly. She seems familiar, but at the same
time, she doesn’t.

Yoongi thinks he has seen her somewhere before. Maybe on TV because she has that
kind of face: small and round with perfect skin. But he can’t know for sure.

“You looked cute dancing,” Yoongi regrets saying that the moment it leaves his
mouth. “I was smoking, and I saw you."

“I was smoking over there- I didn’t come here because I wanted to tell you that. I
came over here because it started raining.” He looks over his shoulders towards the
garden where the rain is audible. Yoongi knows he sounds like a complete creep, and
the girl simply blinks.

However, Yoongi awkwardly continues. “My name is Yoongi. I’m from the Music
department.” The girl doesn’t utter a word. “I’m on my last year. What’s your
name?”

“I’m-” She whines before covering her glossy lips. Yoongi thought so before, but
now he confirms that she's strange.

After a second, she slurs so lowly that Yoongi thinks he doesn’t understand her
words. “My name is Minju….”

“Minju?” Yoongi repeats. She nods quickly before glancing around. And Yoongi
doesn’t need to be an expert in body language to understand she wants to run away
from him.

Yoongi doesn’t try to talk to her again. Instead, he gestures at her phone since
she seems to be looking for that. “Well, it was nice meeting you. See you around, I
guess."

Her expression fills with confusion. She was most likely expecting Yoongi to
continue pressing.

Yoongi wouldn't press for a conversation with someone that doesn't want to stay,
but Yoongi doesn’t blame her for thinking that. Most guys would do precisely that.

She nods and carefully picks up her stuff: her phone and bag. Those are black and
don't match her pastel looks.

Yoongi likes to think he’s not the same as most guys who would press for a
conversation with someone uninterested. He isn't like them in most ways, but he
still behaves like most guys when he takes a good look at her again as she fusses
around cutely.

She's unaware of his gaze.

Yoongi thought girls like that only existed on TV: girls that move like anime
characters and that are pink everywhere. Yoongi glances from her pink sneakers to
the pink high socks hugging her slim legs. Then, not wanting to stare at her body,
he focuses on the red bow in her head
He can’t help but think she’s adorable.

But before he entertains the thought, Yoongi forces himself to look away. Why is he
finding a girl so cute? He doesn’t want another sexuality crisis coming his way. He
went through enough coming to terms with being gay a few years ago.

And he's gay, and he's not using the word as an umbrella term. He just likes men.
He's dated girls and kissed girls a few times when he was a teen, and it's not the
same as men.

Of course, he reminds himself that it doesn’t make him less gay to appreciate a
girl’s cuteness.

He can admit she's cute, but that doesn't mean he wants to ask her out on a date.

“Bye,” Minju whispers in the middle of rapid thoughts, and Yoongi opens his mouth,
but nothing comes out. She disappears after that, and Yoongi waits for a minute
before he returns to class too.

After that, Yoongi thinks of the girl again.

He tells himself that he thinks of her because there was something cinematic in her
flashy clothes, the girl group dance, and the rain. But he doesn’t like that she
keeps returning to his mind. He rarely thinks about girls.

He never paid much attention to them in high school, at least not as other men do.
But this time, he keeps wondering if he’ll run across Minju around in the Faculty
again. But he doesn’t; there’s never someone with pastel-colored hair.

Yoongi sees her again, but not in person.

Just as he expected, he sees Minju on the TV. He’s having breakfast with a terrible
bedhead, a tattered grey shirt, and milk with cereal. He stands in his one-room
apartment and stares at the TV when a french song starts as the background of an
odd commercial.

It’s a bizarre advertisement about milky-fruity juices. Minju is dancing -the same
dance she was doing in the Faculty- and an animated cow speaks in french next to
her. Yoongi ignores the weirdness and focuses on her.

Minju looks slightly different from what Yoongi remembers.

In the advertisement, her face is less round, her cheeks are hollow, and her eyes
are droopier. Her pink hair is not a wig this time. Yoongi watches the screen while
munching on soggy cereal. He thinks they’ve edited her face too much. She looked
far prettier in real life.

When the commercial ends, Yoongi searches for the brand on Naver. He finds Minju
soon after. She's from a small company and a relatively unsuccessful idol group.
But, apparently, their new album has sold more copies because the bizarre cow
commercial made Minju viral among teens.

Again, when he looks at her photos online, he doesn't find her as pretty as that
night. He knows she has an objectively pretty face, but he finds her less and less
attractive with each image. In the end, he locks his phone. Maybe, he wasn't as
interested as he thought he was.

He can live with that.

Yoongi doesn’t ask anyone from the faculty if Minju -from the french milk juice
commercial- studies in their college. He doesn’t want people wondering why he’s
asking about her.

He doesn’t want to think about her anymore. He’s not into girls that way.

He thinks he's not.

Yoongi tells himself he’s done his best to forget the strange and brief interaction
with the idol, but he still goes to the dressing rooms behind the storage building,
hoping to run across Minju again. He has no luck, and a part of him is grateful for
it.

Minju has caused quite a crisis in his head, the Minju he met that night, not the
heavily edited one with Snow filters that he found online. Yoongi prefers not to
think about her;

Yoongi doesn’t know what he would say if he met her again and doesn’t want to
imagine the situation. Yoongi is washing his teeth in the bathroom behind the
Faculty's storage when someone roughly slams the door open.

A boy slimmer than Yoongi but around the same height stops at the door. He yelps
when their eyes meet as if recognizing Yoongi. But Yoongi hasn’t seen him around.

Yoongi has the toothbrush inside his mouth, and the boy is frozen by the door.

He has short brown hair and pretty plump lips, he's wearing a black sweater and
carrying a big black bag. He clutches his phone -also in a black case-. Yoongi
thinks he remembers those items.

And before it clicks where he last saw that bag and phone, he glances at the boy's
neck. He sees him gulp -Adam's apple bobbing- and he gets a flashback.

Minju gulping at him that rainy night- Adam's apple bobbing.

Yoongi takes the toothbrush out of his mouth. "You."

How didn't he notice before? It completely slipped his mind. He wasn't paying
attention to it, but he's sure now. She had an Adam's apple, which explains why the
girl he met is slightly different from the idol in the advertisement. He points at
the stranger with the toothbrush.

“You’re Minju,” Yoongi says.

“I-” The boy lets the door close behind him.

“You were dressed up as the idol that time, right? The girl from the weird cow
commercial. You look exactly like her- Not exactly, but you're super similar.” A
pause. "When you're dressed up like her."

"Yeah."

Once again, the body language makes it clear the guy wants to run away, but this
time Yoongi presses a little. "Your name is not Minju, is it?"
"It's Jimin."

“Jimin?” Yoongi halts, remembering he should have asked something else first. “Uh,
what are your pronouns?”

Jimin seems taken aback by the question. Apparently, Yoongi's words are unexpected
because there is confusion in Jimin's eyes. “Ah, I use he and him….”

“Ah, okay," Yoongi nods. "Always?”

Jimin frowns at the question, and Yoongi waits. “I mean when I’m dressed as
Minju….”

Jimin doesn’t finish the sentence, but Yoongi tries to guess. “You prefer to use
female pronouns when dressed up as Minju?”

"I mean, she's a girl," Jimin says, looking at the floor.

“I got it.” Not really, but Yoongi pretends he gets it. However, Jimin notices his
puzzlement.

"It feels weird to hear people address me like him when I’m dressed like her. She’s
a girl. But— I’m not. Actually, I don't mind what pronouns people use when I look
like Minju. It could be any.”

It seems both of them are confused. Yoongi just nods, trying to be supportive.

“It depends on how I’m feeling at that moment,” Jimin decides in the end.

“So how are you feeling right now?”

Jimin points at himself as if that would make things obvious. “I already told you.
As he.”

“Okay.”

A long pause and Jimin tentatively steps closer. “What about you?”

Yoongi doesn't really think much about it. “Oh, I’m always a he. I don’t mind if
people use they or them, though, because that's fine. But he is better.”

Both of them stand together in the bathroom, in the most awkward atmosphere Yoongi
has experienced in a long time.

Jimin grips his bag. "You're going to stay here for a long time?"

"Ah, no, I was leaving." Yoongi moves to finish brushing his teeth, and after
rinsing his toothbrush, he faces Jimin. "Wait, are you going to dress up like her
now?"

"No!" Jimin squeaks. He's obviously lying.

Yoongi wants to talk to Jimin for a bit longer. After that night, he had been
thinking about Minju, not the idol on the TV but the boy in front. And knowing
Minju is a boy ignites the spark of interest Yoongi was trying to ignore. “You
enjoy dressing up like her randomly?”

"Or is there a purpose for it? You were recording yourself last time. Do you post
covers or something like that?"

"Uh, why I dress like her isn't something I’d like to tell a stranger."

"Ah, sure. Sorry." Yoongi understands that. He supposes this is where the
conversation ends.

But before he can turn around, he sees Jimin’s cheeks gaining a pink color. “I’m
not a pervert or anything like that; that’s not why I do it!”

Yoongi panics, he doesn't want Jimin to feel embarrassed about crossdressing.

Yoongi won't judge him at all. "I didn't think you were!"

They look at each other for another long uncomfortable moment. "Are you a pervert?"
Jimin asks. "I was expecting a different reaction when you realized that it was me.
But, instead, you're just asking questions."

"I'm not asking them because I'm a pervert! I'm not one!"

"A pervert wouldn't admit they're one," Jimin accuses.

"Then, why are you asking if I'm one?"

That makes Jimin fall quiet. But after a rather cute nose scrunch, he snaps at
Yoongi. "Why are you still here? You were leaving."

When he was Minju, he was a lot shyer than this.

Yoongi takes a good look at Jimin, then. Except for the pretty face, he's not
precisely Yoongi's type. He liked the pastel colors Minju was wearing, but Jimin is
clad all in black, and he doesn't move in a cute way like he did when he was Minju;
his stance is confrontational.

He's the same person, but Yoongi doesn't need more than a few seconds to notice he
behaves entirely differently from her. Yoongi doesn't know if he likes it or not.
He's unsure. “I guess I’ll see you around, Jimin.”

However, Jimin grabs his wrist and tugs. “Hey! Wait."

"You were asking me to leave a second ago."

Jimin ignores the jab at his lack of decidedness. “You can’t tell anyone that I do
this. That you saw me last time. No one has ever seen me looking like her in
person.”

Yoongi can't stop himself from blurting, “what if I do?”

Jimin's expression changes dramatically, and fear passes through his gaze. Yoongi
decides right then that he hates that look on Jimin. “You wouldn't,” Jimin says.

“No, I wouldn't tell anyone. But can you tell me why you do it?”

“I told you I won’t tell a stranger….”

"You already know my name, my major, and my pronouns. So am I really a stranger?"

Jimin snorts. "Or tell me, how do I get past the stranger stage?"

"Why do you want to know so much? You are a pervert!"

"No, you're just very beautiful."

The rapid back and forth stops abruptly.

"Thank you, but what does that have to do with anything?" Jimin whispers, cheeks
maintaining a bright pink color.

Yoongi and Jimin just met; Yoongi won't tell him about the minor sexuality crisis
he experienced with Minju in the past weeks. "I'm curious about you."

"Friends keep secrets," Jimin says after a second. "If you don't tell anyone that
you caught me cosplaying as Minju, then you'll stop being a stranger."
Yoongi hums before asking, "what's your major?"

Jimin rolls his eyes. "Dance."

"And how old are you?"

"Twenty-one."

"Okay, then. I'll see you around Jimin from dance, who doesn't have any secret
hobby that I know of," Yoongi says.

He finally makes the corner of Jimin's lips curl in the smallest of smiles. "It's
Park Jimin."

"Park Jimin," Yoongi savors the name.

"And you?"

"Min Yoongi."

Knowing Minju is a boy relaxes Yoongi for a couple of hours. But when he returns
home, the crisis is back in full force. He didn't know Minju was a boy when he
found her cute, meaning he thought a girl was attractive. Pretty enough to think
about her for days after the meeting.

But at the same time, Yoongi didn't find the real Minju as pretty as Jimin's
cosplay. He wasn't thinking of that woman; he thought of Jimin's cosplay. And Jimin
is a boy. He didn't

know that before, but it was a boy. Maybe he unconsciously knew?

Yoongi likes men. Just men.

He liked Jimin today. He thought Jimin was attractive, with his short hair and no
makeup on his face. With his flat stomach and everything that makes him a 'man.'

Yoongi twists in bed, thinking he'd like to see Jimin dressed as Minju again. With
the skirt and long hair.

He doesn't want to see the real Minju; he wants to see Jimin in cosplay, behaving
shyly and dancing cutely. Being girly. Yoongi groans. Maybe he is a pervert like
Jimin said.
Impossible. A man crossdressing is still a man as long as he identifies as a man,
and Jimin is a man.
If Yoongi goes down the rabbit hole of questioning, he won't ever sleep. He asks
himself something that made things clear when he was a teen. Would he prefer to
wake up next to a man or woman every day?

The answer has always been a man- he can't see himself living with a woman.

But when he closes his eyes, he thinks of Jimin's cosplay from that night. He's so
upset that his brain isn't cooperating and that it comes up with images to sabotage
him.

Thinking of laying next to Jimin crossdressing as a woman once makes him bisexual?
Yoongi doesn't know.

Yoongi always felt like he was lying when he would say he was bisexual in high
school. It never felt right to him; it didn't fit him. But maybe things have
changed? He still doesn't think it suits him because he felt nothing when he saw
the real Minju- but who knows? He doesn't.

What he does know is that now that he has met Jimin, he sees him everywhere around
the Faculty. Yoongi wonders how he didn't notice him before when he has such a
pretty face? But it probably has to do with Jimin looking like the straightest guy
Yoongi has ever seen.

Yes, he's beautiful, but the first time Yoongi sees him sitting outside the
Faculty, he's sitting on the grass talking with some friends; there's something
about the way he sits: legs spread, head tilted backward cocky smirk. Yoongi's
gaydar doesn't ring in the slightest.

Yoongi understands how he could have walked past Jimin in the past. But now, he's
aware of him, so he runs into him again in the hallways: Jimin with a black button-
up, sleeves rolled up, and collarbones on display.

Yoongi gulps, and he remembers why he likes men so much.

How could he ever doubt himself? He's a raging homosexual.

"Hey, Yoongi sunbae," Jimin says, walking past him. Yoongi takes too long to reply,
and Jimin is already gone. Yoongi looks over his shoulder and sees black jeans
hugging hips and ass walking away. Yoongi's mouth is dry.

He stands in the hallway as other people continue their path to class. His eyes
never leave Jimin's figure until he disappears. Crisis evaded! Yoongi loves men and
only men.
His gaydar is a mess; how could he ignore someone like Jimin existing in the same
time and space as him?

But the past doesn't matter. Now, Jimin is everywhere, even outside of the Faculty.

Yoongi is returning to class with a coffee when he sees Jimin: black sweatpants, a
dark blue oversized hoodie, and a black cap covering his pretty face. But Yoongi
still recognizes him.

He's leaving campus, and he's walking fast. Yoongi jokes to himself that it's the
gay walk, but then he notices a tall and buff guy behind him. They seem to be
arguing, and Yoongi finds himself watching Jimin from afar one more time. This
time, a different facet of him.

Yoongi holds his coffee with both hands and gets closer. Jimin has stopped walking,
and he glares at the guy. Even from afar, Jimin looks upset; he's snarling at the
tall guy, gripping the strap of his bag.

Again, he's not an expert, but their body language alarms Yoongi.

The other guy towers over Jimin, but Jimin looks like he's about to eat the man
alive even with the many inches of height difference. If there’s a fight, Yoongi
thinks the proper action would be to intervene. But Jimin and the stranger look
like they could throw a punch.

Yoongi isn't the type of guy to throw punches; he's the guy that yells profanities
from the back. He guesses he could cheer on Jimin if necessary. Finally, Yoongi is
close enough to discern some words.

“Just leave me alone, Jungkook!" Jimin is seething.

"The team needs you."

Now, Yoongi's gaydar goes off the charts. There's a lot of homoeroticism in a line
like "the team needs you" especially with how needy the tall guy sounds; he could
have easily said "I need you" instead.

“I don’t care. Don’t bother me about it anymore! It fucking pisses me off!”

"I've told you a thousand times already!"

"But you like kendo," Jungkook's voice is low.

"Oh my God!" Jimin's rage is apparent in all of his body. Yoongi determines this
isn't something he should be witnessing, even if the pair has decided to fight in
the middle of campus.

Before Yoongi can return to the Faculty and leave the lover's quarrel behind, he
hears a loud and pitchy. "Yoongi hyung!"

So now he's upgraded from stranger to sunbae to hyung. Yoongi stands still, and
Jimin jogs toward him, leaving the buff guy behind. "Park Jimin," he greets.

“I keep secrets and help you escape from boys?”

Jungkook is still watching them, but Yoongi tries to ignore his gaze. “Friend's
duties. You wanted to be friends. Can we walk away now?” Jimin's gaze is intense,
so unlike Minju's.

Yoongi can't say no to such a pretty face. “Sure”

"But now, I'm more curious about you than before. You secretly cosplay as a female
idol, and you were part of the kendo team but recently quitted?”

“Yes.” Jimin doesn’t develop any of the ideas further.

“Since I did you a favor, maybe you could tell me what’s up with you.”

They walk towards the Faculty, arms brushing with every step they take. "I cosplay
as an idol. What else is there for me to say?"

"I want to know more than that, Jimin. You're-" Yoongi stops himself.

"I'm?"

"You're a mystery."

Jimin purses his lips in thought. "I like that."

Yoongi can't pretend he doesn't like it too.

“Can you at least answer some questions?”

"That will make me less mysterious."

"Come on," Yoongi nudges at Jimin's side. He hopes his cute smile is convincing. It
seems to be because Jimin sighs.
"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Why were you cosplaying as her here?"

"I mean, if you wanted to keep it a secret, doing it outdoors is quite risky."

"I know, but I needed to record myself dancing, and I can't do it at home. For
reasons." Yoongi is attentive to Jimin's expressions, searching for any more
information in his eyes or lips.

"I thought I was alone," Jimin murmurs. "I was so worried when you showed up saying
hi. I haven't rehearsed my Minju voice enough; I wanted to hide."

"Your Minju voice?"

"I try to make myself sound girlier, so I speak softer."

"Oh. I thought you were very convincing."

"I was sure you were a girl until I saw you in the bathroom. You have a very
recognizable face." He doesn't say that it's because Jimin is beautiful; Yoongi has
already made that clear. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have noticed."

Jimin juts his lips. "Thank you, I guess."

"Your reaction also gave it away, you looked scared of me, and you had that same
expression when we met that night. Even without the wig and makeup, the way your
eyes go all wide and your lips- it was recognizable."

"You're a creep."

"I swear I'm not," Yoongi sighs.

Jimin is smiling, though, so Yoongi guesses his words aren't ill-intended. "So why
did you have to record yourself dancing?"

Jimin's smile falters. And he looks ahead, clenching his jaw. "You won't tell
anyone?"

"Of course not."

"Okay, but let's go somewhere quieter."

Yoongi lifts his coffee. "I have a class right now; I was just buying something to
get through it."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "Then I won't tell you."

"You want me to miss a class?" Jimin hums innocently, and Yoongi falls for it. "I
can get there a little late, I guess."

That seems just what Jimin wanted to hear, judging by his content smile. Yoongi
curses internally; he likes brats too much for his own good. "Let's go behind the
storage rooms!

You'll be close to your class, and it's always empty."

Yoongi follows where Jimin leads.

Jimin throws his bag to the ground, takes off his black cap to leave it on top of
the bag, and ruffles his hair before sitting on the grass. Once again, Yoongi is
amused by how different he is from Minju. Jimin takes a lot of space, while Minju
is delicate.

Yoongi joins him.

Jimin doesn't look at Yoongi when he starts speaking, finding the sky more
interesting. “I haven't told anyone this before, so my thoughts might be jumbled."

"That's fine." Yoongi's thoughts are always jumbled.

"My little brother loves Minju. His name is Jihyun, and he’s ten."

“He likes her because of that silly TV ad where she's selling a drink with fruits
and milk for kids.”

“Yeah, I saw it. Minju, the idol, really looks like you. Or you look like her….”

Jimin's smile is small. “Well, my brother had an accident. A car accident some
months ago.”

Before Yoongi comes up with many questions, Jimin shakes his head. “He’s- he’s in
physical therapy. He's gaining strength in his legs again.”

Yoongi didn’t expect a story like this. “I’m sorry. I'm glad he's getting better.”
No answer for a long moment. “It was my fault."

“I was back home, I was supposed to be looking after him, but I was texting the
kendo team.” Jimin signals in the direction of where they left Jungkook. “I didn’t
see when Jihyun was crossing the road.”

“Oh.”

The atmosphere between the two turns gloomy in a few seconds.

“We haven’t talked much ever since. In fact, we don’t talk at all. My family lives
in Busan, so it's not like I see them often either. But I don't want to visit after
the accident. I think he knows it was my fault, that I should have paid attention
to him. That I'm the adult."

"He was excited to see me during summer break, and instead of being with him, I was
busy talking to the team every day I was home. When we were in the mall, I didn't
talk to him. I was texting the team about something nonimportant either, teasing
someone. It was stupid."

"I feel guilty because I should have talked to him; he's my little brother. Back
then, nothing stopped me from talking to him, leaving my phone, and just listening
to him. But now, I can’t talk to him because I feel so guilty; I can't look at him
or hear him say my name.”

It looks like Jimin wants to say something else, but he stops in the end. Yoongi
takes advantage of the silence to speak. “I don’t know if what I have to say
matters; I know we’re strangers, attempting to be friends, but I don’t think it was
your fault

Jimin smiles. “You don’t?”

“You had some responsibility for him, but it wasn’t you who made that happen. You
weren't driving any car or- I don’t think it’s as simple as taking all the blame.”

And Jimin’s smile turns wider as he laughs. “My mom says that too. I wish I could
see it the same way.”

“But you don’t.”

“I don't. I feel guilty, and I miss talking to Jihyun, but I can't bring myself to
do it. Which is why I started cosplaying Minju. When mom told me he was into this
idol, she had this theory that it was because she looked like me. That she reminded
him of me.”

"And I thought it was silly because she's silly! And I'm not silly! Or well, I used
to be when I was younger, and maybe Jihyun has a fond memory of that. But then, I
searched for her, and I saw the resemblance."

"You're prettier than her," Yoongi says. "In my opinion."

He makes Jimin snort. "You're probably the only person who prefers the knock-off
over the real deal."

Not the time to flirt, but Yoongi still says, "I didn't think the real deal was any
better."

Their eyes meet, and Jimin whispers, "stop it."

"What?"

"Praising me."

"I'll try." Jimin gives him a pointed look, and Yoongi corrects himself. "I'll
stop."

"Good," Jimin says, and Yoongi is sure he isn't imagining their tension. But Jimin
breaks their staring. "Well, I started dressing up as her to be able to talk to
Jihyun."

"How?"

“It’s stupid. Jimin can’t talk to him, but someone else can, so I decided to become
someone else, be Minju because I knew he would reply to her.”

“Where? You text him?”

“Yeah. It was like a wrong number thing...”

“You’re catfishing him,” Yoongi says without a filter.

Jimin gulps, Adam's apple bobbing. “You could say so, but- it’s for a good cause!
And my mom knows what I'm doing because she can see his phone. You know he's ten,
so my mom checks his stuff. And we barely exchange messages too! We don’t have full
conversations. Look!"

Jimin searches for his phone to show Yoongi the chat. He kneels close to Yoongi and
almost presses their cheeks together so they can watch the messages on the screen
at the same time.
"It's just small encouraging messages. For example, here, Jihyun says, 'good luck
at work!"
Jimin point at the screen. "And Minju tells him, 'thank you! I hope you have a
lovely day,' and then she adds lots of emojis because Minju uses emojis."

Yoongi stares at the colorful flowers emojis. "The real Minju or your Minju uses
emojis?"

"Both use them. Jimin doesn't."

"He doesn't?"

Jimin hums. "Sometimes, he can use the smiley face with a blush. You know which
one?" Jimin faces Yoongi, and Yoongi can see the pink blush on his cheeks. Yoongi
doesn't mention how Jimin refers to himself in third person.

"Yeah, I know which one."

"That emoji also kind of looks like you. The eyes, you know- because your eyes turn
into crescents when you smile."

"You observe too much. It's creepy."

"You can't call me a creep for noticing things about you. You're literally a
criminal. You catfish and make me miss class."

"It's harmless!" Jimin defends himself, pushing the phone in Yoongi's face. "I tell
him to smile more often or remind him to drink water! She's just checking on him!"

Yoongi steals the phone from Jimin's hand and scrolls down the conversation. He
stops when he sees a photo.

It's a blurry selfie. “Oh, there you are.” Jimin- well, Minju covers most of her
face with a ramyeon cup in the selfie. She has purple hair, and the lighting is
terrible, effectively hiding that she's wearing a wig.

Jimin flips the phone and sees the photo. He hides the device.

“Yeah. I have to prove it’s Minju."

“Constantly?”

“Not constantly. Just sometimes, to make it realistic.”

“That’s why you did the dancing video. To catfish your brother.”

“He asked for it. And I did it at night; the bad lighting helps cover the
differences with her."

"The frame was awful too; I had to cover part of my face. I can't do it at home
because he knows what my apartment here looks like. I've gone to the street dressed
up like her twice to take selfies, and there are perverts like you, so the campus
is better."

"Perverts like me."

Jimin smirks. "I'm teasing. Now, I know you're not a pervert. But you were a little
creepy that night. You let it go when you noticed I was nervous, but you can't
approach girls like that!"

"Don't worry about it; I never approach girls."

Jimin falls quiet. "You don't?"

"I don't like girls."

"Huh." Jimin squints his eyes, and he leans in a bit closer. "But you think Minju
is pretty."

"Yeah, your Minju is pretty, not the real one."

"She's a girl nonetheless. My Minju."

"Yeah, but you're not a girl."

"Jimin isn't a girl, but Minju is!"

Now, Yoongi is the one who leans closer. "Forget Jimin and Minju for a moment. Are
you a girl?"

"No. But I'm not a man either when I'm her." And then Jimin scrunches his nose,
confused by his words.

"You stop being one?"

"I don't know. She's a character, a costume."

It seems none of them have any concrete answer about it. Yoongi and Jimin fall
silent one more time, but this time it's less awkward than their first meetings.

"She's bummed to know you don't like girls, though," Jimin whispers suddenly.

"She just told you that?"

Jimin laughs to himself, and he covers his mouth, and it's the most delicate
movement he's done during the day. "Yeah, she just told me."

"Why is she bummed?" Yoongi plays along.

"Mmh, because she thought you were cute."

Yoongi's heart beats faster at the flirting.

"So, Minju thinks I'm cute, but Jimin thinks I'm a creepy pervert."

"What can I say? I can't defend her. Girls are into that kind of stuff. They like
those guys that always make the first move."

Yoongi snorts. "You're crazy."

"That's a mean thing to say, Yoongi hyung."

"But you are! You catfish your brother; that's crazy."

“I have a good cause,” Jimin repeats. “He’s sad, won’t talk to mom or me. But he
likes watching Minju. He and I won’t talk, but he'll talk to her, and that way, I
can know how he’s doing.”

“And when he finds out the truth?”

“I’ll worry when that happens.”

“I don’t think that’s the best stance to have.”

“Minju will stop talking to him eventually. When Jimin is capable of talking to
him.”
Yoongi purses his lips. “I don’t think you have a plan about this."

“You wanted to know the story behind it.”

“And that’s it. That's the story; I don't know what else can I say." Yoongi stares
at his pouty lips, but when Jimin glances up, Yoongi looks away. "You can’t tell
anyone, hyung.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll keep your secret.” Jimin and Yoongi don't move, and none say a
word.

This should be the end of the conversation or the moment where Yoongi should walk
away from it. He doesn’t understand all of Jimin’s actions, and he doesn’t have to
get more involved than this with him. Jimin might have a good cause, but this isn’t
the way to reach his brother.

Yoongi tries not to judge him, though. Everyone deals with trauma in different
ways. And Jimin is going through a lot because of his brother's accident, including
the Minju confusion. Hopefully, Jimin will see how he’s wrong for catfishing, But
that’s none of Yoongi’s business.

However, when Jimin coughs and says, “I should get going.” Yoongi tries to grab his
wrist, unable to let Jimin go so quickly. He should walk away and recognize what
mess he's about to step into if he doesn't step away, but he doesn’t want to step
away from Jimin or Minju.

“Wait, Jimin— I can help you.”

“Help me with what?”

“Taking photos and recording the videos and all that— If you want to take photos on
the street again, I could go with you so creepy men don't approach you.”

Jimin bites his lower lip. "Didn’t you say catfishing is bad?"

"Yeah, it is. But no one knows your secret, so you can't ask anyone for help. And
you can come across weird people while cosplaying, and that's dangerous. And now I
know that. So how can I let you put yourself at risk?"

"Minju is going to love that."

Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"I'll help you with the frame since you had trouble recording on your own. I'll
help, hiding the differences."
"Okay," Jimin doesn't need more convincing than that. "I'd like you to do that. But
when?"

"When?"

"When are you taking photos of me?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"Can we meet up this weekend?"

"Sure."

A comfortable silence between them, at last. And a playful smile. "Minju wonders if
it's a date."

"Minju or Jimin?" Yoongi asks. Just as it happens with his brother, Jimin uses
Minju to say things Jimin can't bring himself to tell others.

He's afraid to talk to his brother, so Minju does it for him. And apparently, Minju
can admit she's interested in Yoongi while Jimin can't. But, Yoongi doesn't know
why.

Jimin scrunches his nose at the question. "Nevermind."

"It is one if Jimin wants it to be," Yoongi decides.

Yoongi doesn't find out if Jimin wants it to be a date or not. He doesn't tell
Yoongi; they simply exchange numbers and promise to text each other soon. Yoongi
arrives late to class and waits for Jimin to text first; he doesn't want Jimin to
accuse him of being creepy again.

But there's no text until Friday night. Jimin sends a text around ten pm, wondering
where they will meet tomorrow. Yoongi replies right away. "Is my place okay?"

Jimin replies as fast. "Are you going to act like a pervert?"

Yoongi sends three dots followed by a simple "no."

Jimin sends the smiling face emoji with closed eyes and blushy cheeks, and Yoongi
smiles.
The next day, Yoongi tries to look handsome. He wears a black tee and an unbuttoned
grey plaid shirt on top. His jeans are washed out and have holes on the knees. It's
a gay cliche.

Jimin arrives after lunchtime. He stands outside Yoongi's door wearing a black tee
and loose black sweatpants; his pretty hair is hidden under a black cap. "Hey," he
greets. Yoongi lets him in.

Not so subtly, Jimin looks around. It's a studio, so his eyes land on Yoongi's bed.

That's the problem with a one-room apartment. Everyone always stares at it when
Yoongi invites people over. "Where can I change?" Jimin asks, opting to ignore the
bed.

"Ah, right. The bathroom is over there."

Jimin nods. "I'll change now." He waddles to the bathroom.

"It'll take a while, okay?" Jimin's voice is chirpy.

"Okay!"

Only when Yoongi is alone does he notice that Jimin was shy a moment ago; he was
quiet and instead of his usual sharp gestures, he moved cutely. Yoongi wonders if
it has to do with him changing into Minju's clothes.

Yoongi waits for more than half an hour, scrolling down Twitter. Finally, he almost
drops his phone when he hears the bathroom door open. Yoongi sits on the bed's edge
and waits.

"I'm ready!"

Yoongi remembers that Jimin had said he has a Minju voice, and he notices it now.
Her looks today are different from the night they met. The wig is purple today, and
he's wearing a skirt again, but this one isn't plaid. It's baby pink, and on top,
she's wearing a

white knitted sweater. It's oversized, and Yoongi supposed the purpose is to hide
his chest.

"Uh," Yoongi smartly says.

Minju won't look at him. She makes a cute expression, one Yoongi hasn't seen on
Jimin, jutting her glossy lips to the right. And then, she closes the small
distance between him and
Yoongi. "Stop perceiving me," she requests.

"That's hard to do."

She sits on the bed, and Yoongi's gaze falls to her bare thighs. She's pressing
them together, and the skirt does a crappy job covering the shaved skin. "How are
you feeling right now?" Yoongi asks.

"I feel awkward."

"I meant pronouns and stuff."

"Ah. It's weird."

"Why?"

Minju fixes their sweater, lifting the neckline to cover more skin. It's a delicate
mannerism. "Because when I'm alone as Minju, I feel like her. But right now, I'm
with you, and it's- once I know you're perceiving me, it's different."

"Why?"

"Cause you know it's a costume."

"You know I'm him," Minju grits. "So I can't entirely feel like her." She glances
at Yoongi, a strand of purple hair falling from behind her ear. "I feel like I
still need to be a little him around you."

Yoongi doesn't entirely understand. "You can be whatever you want to be."

"I don't think it should matter what I think. It just matters how you feel."

"Of course, it matters what you think! Gender is a performance." Yoongi agrees with
that. "We're in the performing arts Faculty. We know better than anyone else that
performance needs an audience."

"We exist as something because someone else perceives us as such," Jimin explains.
"And right now, I feel like her because of this-" he gestures at her body. "But
also like him, because I know you're aware that I was him a moment ago. Unlike when
we met, where I was always her."

Yoongi thinks he comprehends, but also- "I have no idea what to tell you, Minju."
When he says her name, she flops on the bed. She crosses her hands over her stomach
and pouts at Yoongi. "You don't even find me attractive as her."

Yoongi shifts, supporting himself on his elbow.

"Who said that?" He asks, hovering over her slightly.

"You did!"

"When? I've said I think you're prettier than the real Minju a thousand times, and
I said I found you beautiful the second time we met."

She plays with the end of her hair. "But you don't like girls."

Yoongi sighs because he doesn't know what he's feeling, and he doesn't want to say
something disrespectful to Jimin's experience. "Maybe I do? I think you look pretty
right now."

She finally looks him in the eyes. She has soft pink makeup around her eyes. "You
do?"

"Yeah."

She smiles, content and Yoongi could lean down just a few inches and kiss her, but
he doesn't. "Okay." Her blush is natural, though. Yoongi knows for sure.

"Okay?" He asks, an equally silly smile forming on his lips.

"Yeah."

Yoongi takes his queue to sit on the bed again.

While she's still lying on her back, her legs dangling from the bed, he can see her
swaying her feet. Yoongi thinks it's too adorable. Every detail about her is cute.
"So, how are you feeling right now?"

"As her."

"Okay. Let's take some photos. That's why you're here, Minju."
She sits up as Yoongi wonders, “how do you want the photos to be like?”

“I don’t know. You said you would help with the frame, so you’re the creative
director.”
Yoongi snorts. “Umh, okay. Let’s take photos on the stairs outside. We’ll pretend
it’s the Music Bank staircase.”
Minju stares at him for a minute before laughing with all her body. “The Music Bank
staircase?”

“All the idols go there, don’t they?”

Minju laughs more. “The staircase from your building looks like the Music Bank
stairs?”

“A bit. Just tell your brother it’s a different angle.”

Minju doesn’t feel ashamed walking out of Yoongi’s apartment. It’s most likely
because the building is empty, and she looks pretty today. She keeps taking selfies
while they sit on the stairs. After a moment, she gives Yoongi her phone, and he
helps her as promised.

Yoongi tries his best to hide the features that are different from the real idol.
He asks Minju to pose smartly: looking at the horizon, covering her face when she
rests her head on her palms. Minju presses his knees together, supports her elbows
there, and cups her face cutely.

Yoongi tries his best to keep focused on taking photos, but it’s hard when all
Yoongi can admire is long legs. They're the same height, but her legs look longer
than Yoongi's.

Yoongi wants to dig his fingers into the soft muscle. In the middle of his crisis,
Minju stands up.
She hurries to Yoongi’s side. “Let me see!”

Yoongi hands her the phone and subtly peeks at her as she scrolls past the photos.
She stops in most of them, zooms into her face every time, and ponders for a second
before going to the following picture.

“Wow. I look very—"

“Mmh?”

Minju turns to Yoongi with a soft gaze. “I like how you've made her look.”

The comment throws Yoongi off. It's like he's talking to Jimin instead of Minju.
“Yeah?”

“Mmh. Thank you, Yoongi oppa,” Jimin says. Or well— Minju says. Because Yoongi is
Minju’s oppa, not Jimin’s.

Yoongi gulps nonetheless, frozen on the spot at the unexpected honorific. He

doesn’t know why it makes his heart flutter to hear that coming from Minju. He’s
not like those guys that get off to the word.

Or maybe he is.

He doesn't understand anything anymore.

"Oppa?" she repeats, probably noticing she finally broke Yoongi.

“Stop that," Yoongi says.

"What?" She plays innocent. Yoongi doesn't reply, and she covers her mouth before
laughing. "Are you serious? That word did it for you? That's your breaking point?"

"Shut up."

"I can't believe this. You really are a pervert," she accuses.

"I'm not," Yoongi pinches the bridge of his nose. "I swear I'm not. It's just a
word; people don't have to be weird about it. I'm not weird about it."

"If you say so." A pause.

"Don't finish the sentence.

She breaks into the cutest fit of giggles Yoongi has ever heard. She glances at
Yoongi while covering her mouth with her hands. "I don't mind it, oppa."

"What?"

"If you like that." Yoongi doesn't utter a word; he lets her explain. "It's sexy."
Yoongi closes his eyes, defeated.

"So you're the pervert," he says.

That makes her frown. "I'm not! I told you that day in the bathroom. I'm not!" She
sounds upset, and Yoongi stares in silence until she whines again. "I'm not." He
dares pinch her waist to get her to smile. "No, it's not funny," she says.
"You're such a girl," Yoongi blurts his exact thoughts. Her behavior reminds him of
girls in high school who always would give mixed signals, playing hard to get when
they knew exactly what they wanted.

Minju blinks at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. When you’re Jimin, you’re different.”

"That thing right now that you were doing," Yoongi points at her. "Acting like
you're upset so I would touch you more." She gulps nervously. "Jimin wouldn't do
that."

Before she can reply, they hear the elevator opening. It's far from the staircase,
but both of them go tense.

Yoongi doesn't think twice about it before he corners Minju against the wall. She
lets out the tiniest gasp and holds onto Yoongi's grey flannel. "What are you
doing?" she asks.

"I told you I would look out for creeps," he whispers.

They hear steps down the hall.

Yoongi's neighbor doesn't come near them. Instead, they stop at their door, many
steps away from them, and open it. Yoongi and Minju must look like a flashy girl
and her boyfriend huddled together against the wall.

After a long second of stillness, Minju pushes Yoongi away.

"You're such a man," she gets back at him from Yoongi's previous comments. "Acting
all protective as an excuse to get your hands on me."

"I didn't touch you."

"You want me to think you're so strong," she teases. And Yoongi splutters, ashamed
of his instinctive reaction.
She heads towards Yoongi's apartment, and Yoongi trails after her. "Did I do
something wrong?"

He gets no answer to his questions. “Of course, Minju and I are different. There
are things she can do that I can’t.” Yoongi gets whiplash. It seems like it's Jimin
talking right now.

He stops in front of the door and waits for Yoongi to open it so he can head
inside. He takes off his shoes delicately and heads towards the bed, where he sits
with his legs pressed together. Yoongi decides to stand in front of him instead of
sitting next to him.

“Some things are easier for her,” Jimin says, gazing up at Yoongi.

“Such as?”

Jimin thinks about it for a long moment before whispering, “she can wear clothes I
wouldn’t wear. She can use make-up. She can act cute and… it’s so much easier to
flirt when I’m Minju.”

Yoongi, naturally, gets nervous at the mention of flirting. “To flirt with who?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Right now? To flirt with you.”

Yoongi tries to keep his reaction under control. “Mmh. Why is it easier for her to
flirt with me?” The answer is evident to Yoongi.

“Is it because she’s a woman?”

“Not only that….”

“Is it because you think it’s easier for women to flirt with men?”

Jimin glares at him. “I didn’t say that.”

“But it’s implied when you say it’s easier for Minju to flirt with me.”

“No. She’s just more confident than me.”

Yoongi finds that argument absurd. “Jimin seems a lot more confident than shy
Minju. At least to me.”

“He might be confident in some stuff, but he’s not confident enough to flirt with
you.”

“Hah! So it does have to do with boys flirting with boys." Yoongi sits on the bed.

Jimin faces him, and Yoongi continues. “The idea of a boy flirting with a boy is
strange to you. You prefer to think of a woman with a man!”

“No! I like boys." They look at each other. "If I like boys, how is the idea of a
man flirting with a man going to be strange for me?”

“Just because you like boys doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten what you’ve learned in— I
hate sounding like this, but— a hetero-patriarchal society.”

Jimin snorts. “Nevermind.”

“Did I ruin the conversation because I said hetero-patriarchal society?”

“Yes, you sound like a loser.”

Yoongi mimics Jimin's smile. He can’t argue with that. “Okay, but tell me. Is that
what you like about being Minju? That she does things that Jimin doesn’t.”

Jimin thinks about it for a long moment. “Yes. It's what you said a moment ago,
that girly flirting. I like doing that."

"But I like doing it when I'm her. Not as me."

"Why?"

Jimin shrugs. "It just feels better to do it as her."

"But you know that Jimin can do all the girly flirting he wants without being
Minju- heck- he can call me oppa if he wants to do it." Jimin's cheeks get red
instantly.

"But that doesn't feel right," Jimin tells Yoongi. "It feels better when it's her.
Dressing up and make-up and being delicate and gentle, all those nice feminine
things."

"You like those things?" Jimin nods slowly. "But you don't want to do them when
you're Jimin."

They are quiet, and Jimin gawns on his lower lip before meeting Yoongi's eyes. “But
it’s not like I want to be a woman either.” A long pause. “I think.”

“Mmh.”

“Dressing feminine doesn’t make me a woman. I like being a man, but sometimes I
like being Minju more than that.”

Wow. Yoongi's crisis is nothing compared to Jimin's dilemma.

“I like wearing skirts, using makeup, the long pastel-colored hair, nail polish-
like- really hyper-feminine stuff, you know? But I don’t want them all of the time.
Minju can be all those things for me for some hours.”

“She's a form of escapism, then?”

“What do you mean?”

“You feel like those things don’t belong to Jimin because he’s a man. But feminine
things do belong to Minju. So you have this character you perform, this cosplay,
and you can satiate all of your desires through her.”

Jimin nods slowly, but Yoongi leans closer, searching for Jimin's eyes. “But Jimin,
you can be both of those things and… more than two things. As Jimin.”

Jimin’s shoulders slump at that. "But it’s confusing.”

“Yeah, it is.”

That's a reasonable conclusion for now.

Yoongi and Jimin see each other again at college. They bow their heads from afar.
Now, Yoongi recognizes the tall guy next to Jimin: he's Jungkook from kendo. Even
though Yoongi can guess Jimin is attracted to him, he's curious about Jungkook and
his relationship with Jimin.

They seem very close now that Yoongi is paying more attention to Jimin. But they
were arguing some day ago.

Yoongi thinks it would be weird if he were to ask Jimin directly about it. He has
Jimin's phone number, but they don't text often. They haven't texted since the
weekend.

As any overthinker would do, Yoongi debates whether to text Jimin or not. There's
something nice forming between them -even if the Jimin/Minju dilemma confuses
Yoongi- but

Yoongi doesn't want to press and frighten Jimin. Instead, he thinks he should take
things slowly.

But then he remembers some things Jimin has said about Minju, how she thought
Yoongi was cute and that she likes guys who make the first move. So isn't that
Jimin telling Yoongi he should make the first move? Or does he only want those
things when he sees himself as a girl?
There are so many questions flooding Yoongi's head. What's up between Jimin and
Jungkook? When is a good time to text Jimin again? What does Jimin like? He doesn't
want to think of the biggest question- if Jimin identifies as a man and as
something more, is Yoongi still gay?

The questions loom over him, pressing on his chest and his head. When he lays in
bed at night, trying to sleep, he gathers his thoughts, but more questions unfold
around him.

His phone vibrating makes all the questions disappear suddenly. It's a text from
Jimin.

He's asking if Yoongi is free on the weekend. He sends another text quickly,
clarifying he wants more photos like the cool ones Yoongi took on the stairs.
Yoongi tells Jimin he can come over if he wants, and Jimin sends a smiley face
again.

Yoongi panics and sends a thumbs up.

Jimin sends a question mark. Then, he sends a laughing emoji. Yoongi thinks he's
the most stupid guy on Earth, and he groans when Jimin also sends a thumbs up.

He hopes Jimin's laughing emoji meant that he made Jimin laugh aloud. Then, his
misery would be worth it.

When he opens the door next Saturday, Jimin is standing outside. He's wearing a
grey hoodie and black sweatpants, and he beams when he sees Yoongi. He's pretty as
always. But this time, Jimin quickly lets Yoongi know he will change.

It seems he's eager to be Minju.

Jimin locks himself in the bathroom- or herself since they're already changing.
Yoongi is confused, but he knocks on the door after ten minutes and asks, "Minju,
do you want something to eat? I haven't had lunch yet, and I'm ordering food."

There's a squeak inside the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asks, worried by the sound.

"Yes! Yes! I just- Nothing happened," Minju replies. "Uh. I'm not really hungry."

But she could get hungry later, so Yoongi tries again. "It's on-" Yoongi stops
before saying 'hyung.' "Oppa will pay."

There's a long silence.

"Uh, well, you can choose whatever you want, oppa," Minju whispers. She sounds shy
and so unlike Jimin.

"You sure?"

"Yes! I'll have whatever you want." Yoongi finds something odd in the interaction,
but he says 'okay.' and leaves them to finish getting ready.

After a few more minutes, Minju leaves the bathroom. As usual, her clothes are
pastel-colored. An oversized sweater with tiny white dots and a plaid baby purple
skirt. Her wig is purple, and it's shorter than Yoongi remembers.

"Is that new?" Yoongi asks. She hums, coming closer.

She plops next to him on the bed. "The real Minju cut her hair, so I had to style
one of the wigs."

"You know, these are super high quality," Yoongi says, leaning closer to hold a
strand of hair between his fingers. "I can only tell it's a wig because of the
color."

"They're expensive," she admits. "The wig is one thing that takes me the most time
when dressing up as her. I can do my makeup fast, but the wig always looks fake to
me."

"It looks good to me."

"I liked the lilac more than the pink one, but now it's too short for my taste."

Yoongi lets go of the strand of hair. The length reaches her chest, but if she
thinks it's too short, then she's right. They're quiet for a moment before Minju
faces Yoongi. "You forgot to ask how I'm feeling."

"Huh?"

"You didn't ask how I'm feeling- pronouns."

Yoongi cringes. "Fuck. I'm sorry, I assumed since you were changing into her- I
shouldn't have assumed."

"It's okay," Minju assures him. "I just feel weird because I wasn't ready when you
knocked on the bathroom door. Like- I wasn't in Minju's cosplay yet."

"Oh."
"It was weird when you called me 'Minju,' but it wasn't weird when you called
yourself 'oppa' does that make any sense?"

Yoongi shakes his head. But after a second, he says, "maybe you were feeling like
Jimin but as 'she'? Not as Minju, the character- just like Jimin, a girl."

Jimin scrunches his nose cutely. "I don't know."

"I can try calling you Jimin. Today. You can see if you like it."

Jimin looks at Yoongi in the eyes and nods slowly. "Minju had never interacted with
someone that wasn't my brother through texting, so stuff like this is new."

"It's new for me too," Yoongi chuckles. "Maybe someone else could be more helpful
to explain what you feel. Someone who has gone through the same."

"No. You're very nice about it."

"So, she, him, both? None? What do you want to try today?"

Jimin thinks about it. "They?"

"Okay, but that makes me hyung or oppa?"

Jimin hums. "Can we figure it out through the day?"

"Sure."

Jimin sways their feet and takes a long minute before admitting something, "it's
weird. But when you say you're oppa, it makes me want to behave a certain way."

"Earlier, if you had said 'hyung will pay,' I would have said that I craved chicken
because I can be honest with my hyung. But with my oppa, I want to be the best girl
I can be. Be lady-like."

Yoongi snorts, and Jimin's face falls. "It makes sense, Jimin. I'm not judging
you."

Jimin still pouts, so Yoongi nudges at their side. "It makes a lot of sense. There
are certain ways girls are expected to behave with men because they always have to
be attractive to men. That 'you choose, I'll do whatever you want' act. You want to
mimic that?"
"I think so."

"It's like flirting last week," Jimin adds. "I was pretending I was upset, like
girls do, and you wanted to be all manly."

Yoongi chuckles, embarrassed at that. "Yeah, we were flirting like straight

people."

"Eugh!" Jimin scrunches their face. "It's so performative, isn't it?"

"As you said, it's an act! Girls want to be seen as delicate and submissive, and
men want to be seen as protectors. Eugh." Yoongi can't help but smile at Jimin's
rant. "When actually, no one is really like that. But at the same time, it feels
nice? It's so confusing."

Jimin is playing with their fingers over their lap. And all the talk about
'flirting' compels Yoongi to reach out and knock their fingers together. Jimin
glances at their hands, but Yoongi isn't looking down. “When it comes to that act,
I've also gotten confused about gender.”

Jimin turns to him with those intense eyes, and Yoongi looks away, staring at the
posters on his wall. "You have, hyung?"

“I don’t want to be rude and make this about me when we’re talking about you.”

Jimin holds Yongi's fingers between his. “No. It’s okay. I want to know."

"You've gotten confused about being a man?"

“No, I'm a man. I've always known I'm one, and I've never felt like I'm not one. I
feel fine with my body and how I present myself. I think. And I like men. Just
men.” Jimin nods.

“Or I thought I did, but now I'm confused.”

“Mmh.”

Yoongi sees Jimin smile a little, and he decides to hold Jimin's hand. Because it
was apparent Yoongi meant that Jimin confuses him and because he wants his hand
held through this conversation.

“I got confused in the performance part of being a man. Especially as a gay man."

"As you said, everyone is expected to behave a certain way when we want others to
perceive us as attractive." Jimin nods. "And under that logic, everything related
to femininity should be attractive to men, and everything related to masculinity
should be attractive to women."

"For example, you want to act sweet and gentle when you're Minju, so I, a man, find
you attractive." After a brief silence, Yoongi continues. “Anyway, when I would go
out with girls when I was a teenager, I preferred masculine girls before coming to
terms with my sexuality."

"And at first, that helped me realize I liked men. Because I noticed I liked these
things about them that reminded me of men. So years later, when I came out, I
thought that would mean I had a preference for masculine men too, but not really. I
prefer feminine boys.”

Yoongi thinks he’s imagining Jimin’s blush when their mouth falls open. “Oh.”

Yoongi doesn’t press on the topic of feminine boys and continues. “I was confused.
I thought, if I don’t like all types of men, am I really gay? I mean, I can
recognize a masculine man is attractive.”

“I find them very attractive. The muscles and body hair and just- big guys. As I
said before, when I realized I liked men, I would even say masculine men were my
type. But when I started dating, I found myself leaning more toward feminine men.”

“Why?” Jimin asks, voice low.

“It’s weird, and I think I’m the problem.”

That makes Jimin laugh. “What?”

“When I’m with more masculine guys. Like- bigger or stronger than me, I feel like I
have to be more feminine.”

“Why? It doesn’t have to be that way. I like being masculine with bigger guys than
me.”

Yoongi thinks of Jungkook -buffer than both of them-but; he doesn't mention him
now. “I think it’s similar to you and Minju. You feel like you must be a woman when
you wear feminine clothes. I felt like I had to be a certain way compared to a
masculine partner."

"So when I started going out with masculine men, I’d try to be more feminine, but I
didn’t like it. It didn’t feel like me. Not that I am the epitome of masculinity,"
he chuckles. "But the problem is pretending to be something because you think they
will find it attractive.”
“When I dated more feminine boys, I felt more comfortable. I could be sweet not for
someone else, but just the amount that felt right to me, but I could also take a
more masculine role whenever I felt like it, which I like.” Jimin squeezes Yoongi's
hand as he nods.

“When I realized I prefer feminine boys, I went into a crisis.”

“How come?”

“Thinking silly stuff like… I don’t know… Doesn’t that make me straight? Liking
feminine boys? Am I emulating heterosexuality if I like feminine boys? Because I
find femininity attractive.”

“That's stupid," Jimin says. "Femininity isn’t the same as womanhood. You don't
like women; you like femininity.”

“Yeah. But isn't that the same as you thinking you must be a woman or act feminine
because you’re wearing feminine clothes? Presenting feminine isn't being a woman."

Jimin glares at him but then pouts. "Well, that's why we're trying out being 'they'
today."

"Yeah, you're right. If you want to be a woman, that's fine too, but-"

"That's not it with me. I'm more something between man and woman or nothing like
those two. I guess I'll find out."

“You know, Yoongi hyung, I like women a bit more than men- I mean, I like everyone
I find attractive." Jimin snorts laughter. "But I have a strong lean toward women.
So I always question my sexuality too. “Stuff like… do I really like men if I’ve
mostly dated women?”

“And of course, I always asked myself do I like this girl or do I want to be her?
And then, I started dressing like Minju, and it's even stranger now. Because Minju
likes boys more.

She really likes men, and I don’t know what's up with me now… So it’s not an easy
journey.”

Everything is confusing, but Yoongi can agree with that. “Some other people make it
look so simple. But it’s not.”

“I know! Some people just seem to know!”

“But well, maybe because we don’t know them personally. They’re probably going
through their own stuff in silence.”
“Mmh, that could be it. But some people just know with no doubts. People who know
they're gay at the age of ten. People that know their body doesn't match them when
they're teenagers. I envy them because I know some things, but I'm clueless about
others."

"Me too, Jimin."

Yoongi didn't order what Jimin was craving, but they still ate the food once it
arrived. Yoongi makes Jimin promise that the next time they see each other, no
matter if they're he, she, or they at that moment, Jimin won't act shy just to be
attractive to Yoongi.

"We're seeing each other again next week?" Jimin asks.

Out of everything they've discussed today, and no matter how confused Yoongi is
with every new bit of information, there’s something simple that he knows for sure.
He wants to spend more time with Jimin. “Of course.”

They don't have to wait this time. When Jimin arrives home, he sends Yoongi a text
filled with crying emojis. Yoongi asks what happened, and Jimin sends a photo. It's
the real Minju with silver hair.

Yoongi asks Jimin if it's recent. After a 'yes,' Jimin adds more crying emojis.

"I thought she had just cut off her hair. How did she change the color so fast? Now
you have to get a new wig?" Yoongi types, plopping on his bed and raising his phone
to his face.

"I already have a silver one, but I don't want to cut it," Jimin replies fast. More
crying emojis.

"You don't have to cut it," Yoongi types.

"But I have to cosplay as her, hyung."

"You don't. Tell Jihyun you don't have time to take one if your brother asks for a
pic." Yoongi sees Jimin type and delete, type and delete, and he goes for it. "You
look good with long hair."

Jimin types, deletes, and then nothing. Yoongi sends another text. "You don't need
to cut the wig if you don't want to."

"It won't be a cosplay anymore."

Yoongi stares at the screen, blue light painting his frown. "Why does it have to
be?" Jimin replies with more crying emojis.
The conversation ends.

Yoongi sees Jimin near the vending machines in the Faculty. He's wearing black
jeans and a grey jacket, laughing at something Jungkook must have said. He must
feel Yoongi's gaze on him because he turns his face and locks eyes with Yoongi
across the hall.

Jimin passes a hand through his brown hair and just nods at Yoongi. It's stupidly
attractive. Jungkook looks over his shoulder, and he also nods at Yoongi, even
though they don't know each other. They look intimidating next to the other, and
Yoongi faces away from them.

At night, Yoongi is drying his hair after a shower with a towel, and he sees that
his last text with Jimin is still the crying emojis. So instead of texting him and
directly asking him about them and about Jungkook, Yoongi opens Youtube and
searches for something else.

He has an excellent excuse to text Jimin. "I’ve been studying to help you," Yoongi
informs Jimin through text.

The reply comes in a few seconds. It's three eyes emojis. And then a 'hi, hyung'
with a smiley face.

"Hi Jimin," Yoongi types.

"How will you help me, hyung?"

“I’ve seen videos of Minju. Now I'm more familiar with her. To help you with the
photos next time.”

“I thought you were against catfishing." Jimin types for a long moment only to add.
"And cosplaying.”

“I am. But I worry about you.” Yoongi cringes at his text.

He didn't want to move too fast, but here he is with a heart beating fast at the
emoji with hearts around its face. After the emoji, Jimin asks, “did you feel
something? Watching videos of the real Minju?”

The answer is quick. “No.”

“You don’t like her at all, hyung.”

“Nope.”

Yoongi types a stupid "I like you" but deletes it quickly.

Jimin sends laughing emojis and then, "There's a better way in which hyung can help
me."

Yoongi worries about being whipped, but he remembers ditching class for Jimin on
their third meeting, so he's past that. "How?"

“Can you come with me to buy something at the mall?” Jimin asks.

Yoongi doesn't ask what; he just says, “Sure.”

Jimin tells Yoongi when and where to meet up with him, and on Friday, Yoongi wears
a cozy oversized grey sweatshirt and ripped jeans. He wants to look cute. Jimin
lets him know that he’s waiting by the fountain on the first floor. Yoongi gets
there and looks around, but between the sea of people, he doesn’t see Jimin.

Then, his eyes fall on long silver hair- longer than Minju wears.

It clicks. Jimin didn't style the wig like Minju.

He kept his hair at the length he liked, regardless of the cosplay veracity. Yoongi
feels so happy about the bit of information that it takes Yoongi another second to
register, that standing next to the fountain, it's Minju, not Jimin. He's
crossdressing in public.

But it's crossdressing, not cosplay. The hair doesn't match the real Minju; the
clothes don't match her either. Jimin is wearing the same grey jacket that Yoongi
saw him sport in the

Faculty building. They're also wearing a black skirt; it's tight and hugs her hips.

She’s also wearing a dark blue beanie and blue converse. The fashion style is
unlike the usual pastel-colored, idol-like Minju clothing. The jacket, sneakers,
and beanie are evidently

Jimin’s; the color are Jimin’s. All the items match carefully and harmoniously.

Yoongi smiles.

They're wearing a face mask though, but Yoongi can still recognize them. Yoongi
walks closer, and Jimin notices his presence after a few seconds. They pull the
face mask down when Yoongi is close enough. "Hey."
"Minju?" Yoongi tries

They shake their head. “Jimin is fine today.”

Yoongi is witnessing something important. “Oh. Pronouns?”

Jimin purses their lips before covering their face again. “Can we try him today?"

"Of course." They don't move an inch. “You look good,” Yoongi compliments.

"We look like a couple," Jimin blurts at the same time.

"Huh?"

Jimin points at Yoongi's grey sweatshirt and then at his jacket. "We're matching.
And I'm a masculine girl, your type."

Yoongi snorts. "A mini skirt is masculine?"

"Clothes have no gender," Jimin teases. "But almost everything I'm wearing is from
the man's section."

"And I'm using masculine pronouns today."

Yoongi gets whiplash, confused but proud of Jimin's words. "So today, you're a girl
with masculine pronouns?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Yoongi tries to comprehend. "I think I can understand some of that. But
just some, Jimin."

"Pronouns are part of my gender expression, and today I'm feeling masculine. But as
a girl in identity."

"Oh! Okay," Yoongi thinks he understands that more. "Identity and expression are
different, okay. And you want to be a masculine girl today, not a masculine boy."

"Yes, I wanted to try that today. To see if I like it." Yoongi nods, enjoying the
'figuring out' they've been done in the past meetings. "Do you like it?"
"I already told you. You look pretty."

"Attractive?"

"You said you weren't going to try to seem attractive to me."

"I didn't dress with you in mind! I'm just wondering. Since I confuse you so much."

Yoongi bites his inner cheek, unsure what to conclude of Jimin's flirting.
"Masculine girls aren't my type, Jimin. I used to like them, but you know I'm-"
Yoongi falls quiet. "I don't know."

"Since you're trying out something new today, I guess today I'll try to say I'm gay
as an umbrella term."

The face mask covers Jimin's smile, but Yoongi can see it in his eyes. "I think I
like confusing you. It feels nice."

"Huh, nice? I'm living a hell, Park Jimin."

"Why live a hell? Learning new things about ourselves is nice! You just discovered
that masculine girls are your type again," Jimin cheers.

"I wouldn't say that," Yoongi sighs. Their eyes meet, and after a tense second,
Yoongi admits. "It's more like you're my type."

A long silence stretches between them, and Yoongi can't see Jimin's expression
under his face mask, but the corners of his eyes crinkle when he giggles. "You're
saying that on the third date?"

"Mmh." Yoongi feels embarrassed, but then Jimin laces their fingers together.

Yoongi squeezes Jimin's hand. "It's been enough time to reach that conclusion."

"I'm flattered." Yoongi wonders if Jimin will say something more than that, but
Jimin turns around and tugs Yoongi towards the stores. They hold hands while
walking through the mall, like a couple.

Yoongi still feels nervous after his attempt at a confession, but Jimin sways their
hands together when they walk, and it's silly and soothing. "What do you want to
buy, Jimin?"

"Clothes," Jimin says before taking a turn and dragging Yoongi inside a woman's
clothing store.
No one looks at them for too long, probably because Jimin presents as a girl today.
And as Yoongi accompanies Jimin to browse through clothing racks, he thinks a
stranger could believe they are a straight couple, which makes Yoongi snort.

“What do you like?” Jimin asks.

“Why does that matter? The question is, what do you like, Jimin.”

Jimin glares at him. “I want you to pick whatever you want to see me wear.
Shouldn’t you be grateful?”

Yoongi can’t control the heat on his cheeks. “Umh, but I need to know the vision.
Are these for Minju?”

“For me,” Jimin mumbles while checking a sweater.

“Mmh.” Yoongi looks at Jimin up and down, his gaze settling on his hips. "Anything
is fine for me. I'll like whatever you wear."

Jimin rolls his eyes, moving to another rack. "Can you be a pervert again? That was
more fun."

"I was never one." Jimin hums without sparing Yoongi a glance. "What do you want me
to say, Jimin?"

"It's not fun if I tell you what to say! You won't mean it if I tell you." Yoongi
sighs before looking around the store, gaze falling on a piece of clothing Jimin
might like.

"That looks good," Yoongi lifts his chin towards the mannequin.

"The crop top or the baggy jeans?"

"None. I like the top, but I meant what's under the jeans."

Jimin pushes his face mask down to reward Yoongi with his handsome smile. "You're a
pervert." Yoongi doesn't argue. Jimin grabs a couple of sweaters and tells Yoongi
to wait while he asks someone from the store if the fishnets come with the jeans or
not. "Are you sure?" Yoongi asks, worried that an employee could notice Jimin's
Adam apple and be cruel to him.

"Yes, it's okay."

Yoongi frowns. And before he knows it, Jimin leaves the sweaters on the rack to
slip his arms around Yoongi's middle. It's a loose hug, and instinctively Yoongi
lifts a hand to Jimin's waist. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I don't want to leave you alone."

"You're worried about me?"

"Mmh."

"You don't need to be. I can take care of myself." Yoongi nods slowly and smiles
when Jimin "kisses" him on the cheek. Jimin's white face mask ruins the kiss, but
it's still sweet, and Yoongi is delighted. He does as Jimin wants and waits for him
outside of the store.

There's a group of teenage girls on the bench outside the store; they're drinking
boba and laughing loudly. Yoongi stands a few meters away from them, hands in his
pockets.

When Jimin leaves the store, he's carrying two paper bags. He comes up to Yoongi.
"Oppa," he says.

"Mmh."

"The fishnets were stitched to the rips on the jeans. So we have to look for them
somewhere else." Jimin keeps glancing toward the girls while talking to Yoongi.

"Okay, I'm sure there must be a store with them."

"Yeah." Jimin glances at the girls another time.

Yoongi doesn't know what the girls' presence makes Jimin feel, but Yoongi remembers
what Jimin said about performing gender for an audience. He said he is what other
people perceive him as, so Yoongi grabs the bags. "I'll carry that," he says.

"Huh?"

"Oppa will carry them."

"You're being stereotypically straight right now," Jimin accuses, but he lets
Yoongi carry the bags for him. "They aren't heavy; I can carry them."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Yoongi holds them in one hand so he can leave his other
hand on Jimin's waist. "Come on."

Jimin playfully knocks on Yoongi's side when they walk past the teenage girls.
"What?" Yoongi asks.

"We're reinforcing gender roles." A pause. "But it feels good."

Yoongi chuckles. "I think your existence itself is fighting gender roles, Jimin.
I'm just glad it feels good."

Jimin tells Yoongi he can't enter the next store with him because it makes him shy,
so Yoongi sits on a bench outside with the pink paper bags. He has to admit this is
the most 'boyfriend' thing he has done in a long time, but Yoongi can't pretend he
isn't enjoying it.

Compared to the other, this is the most 'date-like' day they've had. After
shopping, they eat together, and then Yoongi walks Jimin home.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" Jimin asks.

"Are you that eager to see me again?" Yoongi allows himself to tease. Jimin's tiny
nod makes him blush.

"What do you want to do?"

"Now you know where I live. So I was thinking you could come over?"

Yoongi glances at Jimin's apartment building. "I can't go up right now?"

"It's just the third date!" Jimin acts indignant.

"What's the difference with the fourth?"

"I'm trying to be proper," Jimin's voice is pitchy, and he raises an eyebrow.

"So I can't go up tonight, but I can tomorrow? A day difference makes us proper?"
Jimin glares at him. "I promise I won't kiss you if that worries you."

"You're not the one who worries me."

"Huh."
They stare at each other for a moment too long, and then Yoongi smiles. "Alright, I
can come over tomorrow." But Jimin grabs his wrist and tugs.

"If you come upstairs tonight, you'll also come over tomorrow?" Yoongi nods. "Okay,
then. But we'll be proper; it's the third date!"

Jimin's place is small. The entrance leads to a kitchenette with a table. Behind a
closed door, a hall leads to his room. Since they're going to behave, Yoongi thinks
they'll stay in the living room, but Jimin goes down the hallway to his room.
Yoongi simply follows.

He sits on the bed and watches Jimin browsing through the paper bags. Jimin ditched
the face mask as soon as they entered the apartment, and now, Yoongi is busy
watching his pretty face. "I'm going to try on my new clothes."

"You're going to model them for me?"

"Yeah."

Jimin tells Yoongi to wait, and he disappears into the bathroom.

Yoongi can't shake the smile off his face as he takes off his sweatshirt, staying
in a white tee. He looks around the room. The walls are empty except for an anime
poster and some anime figures on display.

Yoongi stands up to see the figures Jimin has on a shelf. There's a female
character wearing a bikini and men with swords. Next to one of the men with swords,
there's a photo of Jimin doing kendo. It doesn't have a frame, and next to it,
there's a photo of Jimin and Jungkook.

They look younger than now, wearing dark blue high school uniforms, and Jimin has
an arm thrown around Jungkook's shoulders. Yoongi stares at the photo for a long
moment, and he doesn't notice the bathroom door until a pair of arms wrap around
his middle. Jimin is backhugging him

He leaves his chin on Yoongi's shoulder. "What are you doing?"

Yoongi tenses at getting caught. "Just checking around."

"Creeping around," Jimin teases. His gaze falls on the photos.

"You know, Jimin, I've been meaning to ask you about Jungkook. So maybe I should
now."

"Mmh."
"You're always together."

"He's my best friend. Since childhood."

Yoongi squirms out of the hug, and pain flashes in Jimin's eyes. He's wearing a
black and white oversized striped sweater. It's cute, but Yoongi doesn't say it.
"He didn't know about Minju and this."

"No. I didn't want anyone to know. You found out by accident."

"But he's your best friend."

"I don't tell him everything because he's my best friend. Also, we still hang out
together, but he's resentful because I quit the kendo team, even though he knows
why I did it."

"Yeah, I remember that argument. It sounded very intense." Jimin raises an eyebrow.
"As if he was talking about something more than the kendo team."

"Ah. What are you trying to say?"

Finally, Yoongi gives up and goes straight to the point. "Should I be jealous of
him?"

"No. Why would you be?"

"I mean, childhood best friend with unsaid and repressed feelings seems stronger
than a random guy who helps you figure things out. One is kind of disposable -
people that come and go- while the other has proven to stick around."

"You surely overthink."

Yoongi doesn't argue with that. "You don't need to be jealous." Jimin grabs
Yoongi's shirt and twists the fabric. "I hope the random guy who helps me figure
things out sticks around for a long time because there's still a lot I want to talk
to with him."

Yoongi clenches his jaw.

After a minute of silence, Jimin smiles and cups his face, saying what Yoongi
needed to hear. "Hey, I like you. I really like you."
"Jimin." Yoongi glances at Jimin's lips; when he looks away, trying to behave as
Jimin had asked, he finds Jimin also looking at his lips.

But when he leans closer, Jimin squirms away. "You said no kissing! It's too soon!"

"Jimin," Yoongi grows frustrated.

Jimin grabs another bag from the bed. "You didn't say what you thought about my
outfit!"

"You're beautiful," Yoongi says, coming closer. "Let me kiss you."

Jimin squeaks when Yoongi grabs his waist and he smacks Yoongi's chest, "No! Sit
there!" Yoongi plops on the bed at the negative answer, and Jimin puts a strand of
hair behind his ear. "Wait here, okay? I need to try on more clothes."

Yoongi takes a deep breath. "Okay."

Once again, Yoongi takes too long to notice that his grey sweatshirt isn't in
Jimin's bed anymore. And by the time he registers what that means, Jimin opens the
bathroom door.

He's drowning in Yoongi's oversized sweatshirt, the hem reaching his thighs. And
his thighs-

He's wearing Yoongi's request. The fishnets. Nothing else; it seems like he's
ditched the skirt. "I like this look!" Jimin plays innocent, pushing his long hair
behind his shoulder and walking toward Yoongi. "I think this is Jimin's style."

"You're making fun of me."

"How?" Jimin stands between Yoongi's open legs and leaves a hand on Yoongi's chest,
looking down on him with a sly smile. Long hair tickles Yoongi's neck.

"You say I can't kiss you and then dress up like this?"

"Mmh. I want to see how good you are."

Yoongi clicks his jaw. Yoongi doesn't know what it is; he doesn't fully understand
the effect of clothes and why Jimin behaves a certain way when he's in pastel
skirts, another way when he's in buttons- up and slacks, and another when he's in
fishnets. It's fascinating, and Yoongi plays along with it.

He grabs Jimin's thighs tightly, digging his fingers in the skin and pulling him
closer. Jimin whines and holds tightly onto Yoongi. "I think you want oppa to
ignore what you said and just do whatever he wants."

Jimin's cheeks are burning. His voice is barely a whisper. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Yoongi mimics, and Jimin nods faster. "Come here, then."

Yoongi doesn't know who moves first. He knows that Jimin sits on his lap and
crashes their lips together. He knows both kiss desperately, touching anywhere they
can, gripping.

He knows his back hits the mattress.

Jimin presses his flat chest to Yoongi's, and his long hair gets inside Yoongi's
mouth in the middle of making out, pushing them to laugh for a second before their
lips meet again.

His hands never leave Jimin's body, and he hopes things remain that way for a long
time after.

That night, they only stop when Yoongi squeezes Jimin's waist and pulls apart with
wet lips, "Jimin, if we don't stop, I don't think we'll behave that much."

"You'll come over tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

Jimin slides their lips together slowly. "Can we kiss more tomorrow?"

Jimin asks that as if Yoongi would be doing him a favor. "Of course, we can kiss
all day if you want." Jimin beams, cheeks pink when he hides against Yoongi's neck.

"Yes, I want that," Jimin's voice is shy, and Yoongi loves it. They hug until it's
late and Yoongi has to go.

*______________*

Yoongi texts Jimin when he gets home, but he gets no answer. So he supposes Jimin
went to bed after a long day, and he does the same.

The next day, Yoongi wakes up to a pleading eye emoji. He smiles and texts back.
"Yes, pretty?"
The answer is simple. "Come over right now!"

Yoongi wears sweatpants instead of jeans, just in case he needs to pull them down.
He doesn't get his hopes up about what could happen, but he must be prepared.

He's a bit surprised when behind the door, he finds Jimin, with no wig, and his
regular white tee with black shorts.

Yoongi smiles. "Jimin."

"Hey," Jimin mumbles and drags Yoongi inside. Before Yoongi can ask how they're
feeling today, Jimin starts whining. "My kiss, hyung?" Yoongi is endlessly
endeared; he kicks his sneakers off faster so he can peck Jimin on the lips. But
Jimin still pouts.

"What?"

"You're the problem."

"What does that mean?" Yoongi asks, indignant. Jimin grabs his hand and leads him
toward his room.

"Yesterday, when you left. I felt so needy." Jimin faces Yoongi suddenly, their
chests almost clashing. "I touched myself there until I passed out."

Yoongi gulps. "Ah."

"I thought it was the clothes. Your sweatshirt and the fishnets were making me feel
needy." Yoongi nods along, and he sits on the bed, trying not to think of Jimin
there yesterday night. "Similar to what we've discussed before about the clothes I
wear."

"About how I feel like I need to act feminine when wearing skirts or pastel-colored
clothes. Yesterday it was- slutty. I thought I was feeling needy because of the
clothes."

"I wouldn't use that word."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "So today, I thought I'd dress like this!"

"I'm wearing boxers, and basketball shorts and an old shirt. This isn't a sexy fit
like yesterday, so I won't feel sexy, but-"
"But."

"I saw you, and I immediately thought, 'oppa is here. I must act cute!' but I'm a
boy today!" Yoongi can't help but laugh. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry." Jimin glares. "But, there is a difference. When you dress 'sexy' or
'girly,' you get shy, and you can't look at me in the eye and tell me what you
want, but right now-"

Yoongi gestures at Jimin, sitting with his legs spread. "You're not shy. You're
straightforward."

"And, yes, I'm the problem. You want to act cute for me, and you want me to think
you're cute no matter what you're wearing, how you're presenting, or how you're
expressing yourself." Jimin blinks at him. "I always find you cute, by the way.
Even when you look like a scary CEO."

"When do I look like that?" Jimin laughs.

"When you wear buttons up to college." He makes Jimin laugh more, body shaking
forward until their sides knock. "I think that's normal with the person you like. I
want to be cute for you too. You make me want to look pretty."

"Yeah?" Jimin asks, smiling like a fool.

"Yeah. I want you to think I'm cute and cuddly, so you'll hold my hand, and I also
want you to think I'm handsome, so you'll let me touch your ass. I want you to
think of me."

Jimin snorts at Yoongi's words. "I think of you a lot."

"You should have touched my ass yesterday," Jimin adds.

"I didn't want to overstep"

"You left me horny and needy," Jimin accuses, getting on his knees in the bed.
Yoongi flickers his gaze to his thighs. "You know, I touched myself thinking of you
tearing those fishnets off me."

Yoongi is very pleased and interested in the information. He shifts so he can face
Jimin. "What do you like doing in bed?"

"A lot of stuff."

"Do you like taking the lead?"

Jimin takes a long moment to think. "I like doing whatever my partner likes. That
gets me off."

Yoongi shakes his head. "I can see that, considering you can be whatever you want
and behave in different ways. But that's not a good answer! What do you really
like?"

"Anything, hyung! I'm happy as long as everyone involved is happy!"

"Don't you have any preference?"

Jimin scrunches his nose. "I've never had a preference! But with you, I've noticed
I've really liked when you call yourself 'oppa.' And I also liked what you said
about ignoring me and just doing what you want with me."

Yoongi smirks. "Yeah, that was-"

"That was hot."

"I thought I only liked it because 'girly' clothes mean feeling submissive, wearing
'sexy' clothes makes me feel needy, but even now that I'm not feeling particularly
feminine, I'd like it if you do that. It's your effect on me!"

Yoongi chuckles. "I'm flattered."

"I'm a bit surprised because I'm not that masculine or dominant. I'm usually more
of an 'I'll lay on my back and let you do all the work' kinda guy."

Jimin puts his hand on Yoongi's lap. "I can do that."

"Mmh? Do you want to get on your knees right now? Suck me off?"

"You're not dominant?" Jimin smiles, already standing from the bed.

Yoongi spreads his legs. "I'm not! I just asked a question."

"It's because you're so nonchalant about everything. That makes you hot." Jimin
gets on his knees.

"I'm not calm. I'm an overthinker."

"I know! But it's something about your attitude! I can't explain it! It never
happens to me, but I just want you to do everything with me," Jimin's voice is
quivering when he rests his head on Yoongi's thigh.

"You look very pretty right now."

"I'll look prettier in a minute."

Jimin is correct, and Yoongi can't take his eyes off him. He has one hand fisting
Jimin's short brown hair as he breathes out moans and praises.

Yesterday he made out with a more feminine presenting Jimin, and today he's
intimate with a masculine-presenting Jimin.

Maybe Yoongi should be having a crisis, maybe Yoongi should like Jimin better when
he's a boy and not crossdressing, but it's not like that. He's long past any
crisis. He likes

Jimin; he's attracted to them in any way they present, and he's okay with whatever
that means to him.

The sex doesn’t stop after that. Yoongi and Jimin see each other at college and
greet from afar, but they keep going on dates on the weekends, and Yoongi goes to
Jimin’s apartment. They make out when Jimin is wearing wigs, when they’re not, when
he calls Yoongi ‘hyung’ or ‘oppa.’

When he presents more masculine, Jimin

pushes Yoongi on the bed and kisses him until
they're breathless, and then he goes down on
Yoongi until Yoongi is fisting the blankets and
coming loudly down Jimin’s throat.

When Jimin
presents more feminine, though, they act
differently.

Yoongi gets early to Jimin’s apartment on the

weekend, and he has the chance to watch
them get ready. Yoongi sits on the bed, slipping
his fingers through the rips of his jeans, and
from here, he can watch Jimin’s reflection in
the mirror. The bathroom door is open; Jimin
left it like that, probably so Yoongi could watch
them.

Yoongi watches, and he’s in awe of how delicate but sharp Jimin’s movements are
when he does his

He hasn't worn his

wig yet, so right now, his brown eyes match the
soft brown hair that he’s letting grow. He's been
wearing a pink plaid skirt since Yoongi arrived,
and he's paired it white a white blouse. Those
were Minju’s clothes, but Jimin doesn’t need
the character to wear these clothes anymore.
He can use them as long as they feel like it.

Yoongi likes skirts a lot. He appreciates how easily he can push them out of the
way. He enjoys how much skin they expose, and he's crazy over how they slightly
raise when Jimin bends in front of the mirror to get their makeup right. Today, the
skirt is tiny, and Yoongi is distracted by soft thighs and what he can peek at
Jimin's ass.

Yoongi can't control himself, and he
into Jimin's space. He can see Jimin
loves when Yoongi behaves like that,
flicks him away, Yoongi knows he has
content.
leaves the bed, enters the bathroom, and gets
smiling through the mirror reflection. Jimin
just grabbing him with no warning. If Jimin
to quit it, but if not, Jimin usually laughs,

Jimin turns around, facing Yoongi and raising both hands to Yoongi's biceps.
They're smiling as their back hits the bathroom counter. "What is it?"

"You look hot." Yoongi gets his hands under Jimin's skirt.

"Pervert."

"You like it," Yoongi reminds them.

And the next second, they are kissing. It always happens like that. Jimin wraps
their arms around Yoongi's neck and lets Yoongi kiss them breathless, grope them.
They slide their lips together and only break apart when Jimin wants to sit on the
counter. They sit close to the edge with their legs spread, and Yoongi gets between
them. They are in sync in a way Yoongi has rarely felt with other people. Sure,
they laugh during awkward moments, but sex is more hot than awkward, which is a
rare occurrence for Yoongi.

Yoongi mantains his hand under the skirt as they kiss, palming Jimin's soft cock
over their underwear. And It doesn't take Yoongi too long to notice Jimin is
wearing something different under their skirt today. The texture is different from
Jimin's usual boxers, and it's smaller too. Jimin has worn panties before, but this
one feels expensive.

Yoongi smiles at their kiss, always amused by Jimin. "Huh, this explains why you
left the door open and bent for me to look. Feeling needy, baby?"

"Oppa," Jimin moans, spreading their legs wider.

"Can I see?"

Jimin nods, and Yoongi lifts the skirt. With the fabric out of the way, Yoongi can
see that Jimin is wearing white lace— lingerie. "You..." He doesn't finish the
sentence, he just glances up and sees Jimin biting their lower lip.

"You like it?"

"I like anything on you."

"It's for you," Jimin breathes. "I bought it on our third date when I got the
fishnets. When you said you liked the fishnets, I went a little overboard. That's
why I didn't want you to enter the store with me. I didn't know when was the right
time to wear it, though. I was nervous at first, but today I wanted to try."

"Mmm, you've done all that for me? I'm the luckiest guy."

Jimin smiles sweetly, cheeks pink and shiny eyes. "Here, too," Jimin touches the
buttons of their blouse.

Yoongi gets to it and unbuttons the blouse, only to find that Jimin also wears a
lingerie top. It covers their chest and the upper part of their stomach until their
waist. It's pink satin over their chest, but an ashen shade of pink, almost white
flowery lace falls on their stomach. It matches the panties, and it makes Yoongi's
mouth water.

"Fuck, Jimin. Look at you." Yoongi instinctively rubs his thumb over Jimin's
nipple, pressing the fabric against it.
Jimin whimpers at the sensation. "Ah, do you like that too?"

"If I like it? You're beautiful. You're so beautiful. A dream."

"Umh. Can you kiss me then?"

"Anytime."

After brief eye contact, Yoongi closes the distance between them and presses their
lips together. Jimin's lips are parted and wet, and Yoongi catches them between
his, in a desperate kiss. It's loud, and Jimin chuckles before licking Yoongi's
lips. It's just a few seconds, but the kiss is never innocent. There's licking and
biting from the start. Jimin is cupping Yoongi's face, tiny fingers digging against
Yoongi's cheeks. It's adorable, but it also riles up Yoongi.

Yoongi lowers his hands to Jimin's waist and tries his best to unzip the skirt.
Jimin giggles at their kiss before unzipping it himself. Yoongi doesn't pull it
down, though, he just scrunches it upward, around Jimin's waist, until it uselessly
covers some of Jimin's ass.

Jimin looks over their shoulders, probably looking at themself in the bathroom
mirror and how the skirt is doing a poor job at covering their body. Yoongi can
hear the embarrassment in their voice. "I thought you wanted to take it off."

"No, I want it here but out of the way." "Okay," Jimin squeezes their legs. "It
embarrasses you?"

"In a very good way," Jimin assures him. After Yoongi smiles, he gets rid of
Jimin's blouse, carefully pushing it down Jimin's shoulders and letting it fall on
the counter, next to the sink. He pulls back to take a good look at Jimin, and he
palms his cock, thinking of what he could do to Jimin.

He ponders his choices before he drops to his knees. "What are you doing?" Jimin
asks.

Yoongi looks up at them. "Is it okay if I blow you?"

Jimin bites their lower lip. "Uh, do whatever you want. I don't want to choose."
Jimin might not say what they want, but Yoongi knows their expressions by now, and
he knows they want something other than a blowjob.

Yoongi knows that because they usually beg Yoongi to fuck their ass when they wear
their skirts. But Yoongi likes taking his time, and he won't give Jimin what they
want right away. Especially if they can't say it out loud

"Okay, baby."

On his knees, Yoongi's face is right on Jimin's crotch, so he pushes Jimin's

panties aside, and without losing a second, he takes Jimin into his mouth. Jimin
moans, and they shift, lifting a leg to Yoongi's shoulder. Yoongi wants to call out
Jimin for spreading their legs so much, but he's busy bobbing his head up and down.
Jimin tries their best not to touch

Yoongi's head, cutely clenching their fists next to him instead.

Eventually, Yoongi pulls out and takes a deep breath. He ignores Jimin's cock and
leans in to suck on his balls. That makes Jimin whimper, and it gets worse when
Yoongi presses his fingers to the sensitive skin of Jimin's inner thighs.

"Yoongi..." they moan.

"What do you want?" Yoongi tries for them to say what they want.
But considering how Jimin is presenting today, he should have realized it would be
unsuccessful. "Umh... Just whatever you want."

"No, tell me," Yoongi presses. Then, after Jimin whines, refusing, Yoongi gives up.
He licks lower, and moves his fingers higher, closer to where he knows Jimin wants
it but not quite there. Maybe that will get a reaction out of them.

As expected, when Yoongi sucks on the skin right below his hole, Jimin moans.
"Oppa!"

Yoongi smirks, content at getting the reaction he wanted, and presses a thumb to
Jimin's rim. "Here? Is this what you really want?"

Jimin frowns. "Ah! Yes!" "You're clean, baby?" "I- I cleaned and prepared earlier."
Yoongi kisses Jimin's inner thigh. "Good girl."

The praise always gets to Jimin. They reach out to touch Yoongi's messy black hair.
"Oppa's good girl?" they ask, searching for more praise.

Yoongi won't give them what they want so quickly. "Mmh. You are, but a good girl
would tell oppa what she wants."

Jimin scrunches their nose, not liking the idea of saying what they want. They
always behave like this when they're feeling more femenine, expecting Yoongi to
guess and acting coy even if they're spreading their legs and wearing lingerie for
him.

"Are you not oppa's good girl?" Yoongi asks.

"I am!" "So you should tell me. With words." "Oppa." "You can do it."

Jimin looks away, somewhere outside the bathroom, and then they whisper. I want
oppa's tongue— Want him to lick me."

"See? It's not so difficult."

"Idiot," Jimin complains, but Yoongi hasn't stopped smiling.

The praise always gets to Jimin. They reach out to touch Yoongi's messy black hair.
"Oppa's good girl?" they ask, searching for more praise.

Yoongi won't give them what they want so quickly. "Mmh. You are, but a good girl
would tell oppa what she wants."
Jimin scrunches their nose, not liking the idea of saying what they want. They
always behave like this when they're feeling more femenine, expecting Yoongi to
guess and acting coy even if they're spreading their legs and wearing lingerie for
him.

"Are you not oppa's good girl?" Yoongi asks.

"I am!"

"So you should tell me. With words."

"Oppa."

"You can do it."

Jimin looks away, somewhere outside the bathroom, and then they whisper. I want
oppa's tongue— Want him to lick me."

"See? It's not so difficult."

"Idiot," Jimin complains, but Yoongi hasn't stopped smiling.

However, Jimin doesn't listen to Yoongi, and when he leaves the bathroom, they get
off the counter and turn around. They face the mirror, leave their hands on the
counter, arch their back, spread their legs, and wait for Yoongi, exposed like
that.

Yoongi notices, but he doesn't say anything as he grabs the lube. He scoffs when he
returns to the bathroom, though.

This time, he doesn't hold himself back with his thoughts, and when he's close
enough, he squeezes Jimin's ass and whispers to their ear. "Weren't you saying
you're a good girl? What's this? Didn't listen to oppa because you wanted to act
like a whore."

Jimin gasps, surprised at the dirty talk, and Yoongi regrets his actions
immediately.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Uh, no, it's okay." Jimin laughs.

"Fuck, I like it a lot. You can definitely say that again, you just took me by
surprise—"
"We should have discussed this before going for it."

It's like everything they've been doing so far, so Yoongi relaxes. "Yeah."

"Come here, kiss me," Jimin says over his shoulder.

Their lips meet one more time when Yoongi presses his chest to Jimin's back, and in
that mess, Yoongi aligns himself, rubbing the lubed head of his cock against
sensitive skin before pushing inside at a slow pace. Both let out soft moans.

"You feel good," Yoongi whispers. He's waiting for Jimin to adjust, but Jimin digs
their nails into Yoongi's hands and begs him to move. Yoongi picks up his pace,
fucking into Jimin and making them knock down the makeup on the counter as he tries
to hold onto any surface.

"Harder," Jimin slurs. "Please, do it harder."

Yoongi grabs Jimin's leg and hikes it up, supporting their knee on the counter. A
great side of dating a dancer, he can move and bend Jimin like that so he can reach
deeper. Jimin is flexible.

Yoongi gets the reaction he was expecting when Jimin throws their head back,
moaning loudly.

"You like it?" Yoongi says between panting.

"Oppa," Jimin whines. "Oppa— oppa, come inside me.

Before meeting Jimin, Yoongi didn't think that word could get him off as much. But
there's something about hearing Jimin say it. Yoongi is so turned on that he can't
believe himself. "You have to help oppa come, though."

Jimin's eyes are wet with unshed tears. "How?"

Jimin's eyes are wet with unshed tears. "How?"

Yoongi feels honored. He gets to see Jimin like this, and he knows no one else
does. Yoongi can see them desperate and needy and vulnerable.

"Fuck yourself."
Jimin doesn't like taking the lead when they're presenting feminine, but they like
Yoongi ordering them around, so as soon as they hear the words, they start rolling
his hips, whining. They search for Yoongi's lips, even if it must be uncomfortable.
They kiss roughly. Between the wetness of the kiss, Jimin moans. "Oppa, oppa, touch
me."

When Yoongi circles his hand around Jimin's cock, Jimin clenches around him, making
Yoongi whine. Yoongi never lasts long with Jimin, but it doesn't matter because
Jimin always comes soon after.

*___________________*

So the sex is good, and the dates keep happening. But something obvious has
happened between them. Obviously, because Yoongi doesn't feel content with his
previous label,

Jimin jumps between labels, so he prefers none, and that crisis translates to their
relationship status.

They don't have labels about what they're doing. Yoongi doesn't have a label for
what he is either, and Jimin is worse. But sexuality and identity are different
from dating- Yoongi thinks it's okay to be confused about sexuality but not about
dating. So they should have a label.

But Yoongi doesn't press. No. He likes Jimin too much. He doesn't want to scare
them, doesn't want to pressure them. But Yoongi is seeing a pattern he doesn't
like.

Just as Jimin hides the crossdressing for weekends with Yoongi, Yoongi is the same.
Weekend's secret boyfriend.

They text during the week, and Yoongi tries to believe that he's exaggerating.
Jimin doesn't need to stop hanging out with his friends on campus to hang out with
Yoongi, he's a popular guy, and he's always around someone. But with each weekend
together, Yoongi grows greedier.

But at the same time, he comprehends Jimin. Yoongi is part of Jimin's gender
exploration, and if Jimin isn't ready to come out to all his friends, then Yoongi
remains hidden.

He has to talk to Jimin about it, Yoongi thinks. He can't continue to get
distracted by sex.
This weekend, Yoongi was busy with a project for class, but Jimin insisted on
seeing him. So now Jimin is sitting cross-legged on the floor of Yoongi's
apartment, searching for something on his phone.

Yoongi looks away from his laptop and watches Jimin pouting at his screen. Yoongi
forgets his project and joins Jimin on the floor. "What are you watching?"

Jimin locks his phone and faces Yoongi. "Train tickets."

"Where?"

"Jungkook and I are planning on going home for some days," Jimin whispers. "After
finals. Not during all the break, though."

Yoongi smiles faintly, confused about his feelings. "You hadn't mentioned that
before."

"Jungkook convinced me yesterday. I'm telling you right now."

A pause. "Does Jungkook know we're seeing each other?"

"Yes. But I don't want you two to meet yet," Jimin shudders.

"Why?"

"I want to tell him about Minju first, about the cosplay and crossdressing, and
about me and how we met. We'd have to create a lie about how we met if I don't, and
I think it's time I tell someone else."

"You're telling him while you're home?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"I'm happy you want to tell him," Yoongi says, but it's half a lie. He's happy
Jimin is ready to come out about his gender to his best friend, but Yoongi is
afraid he'll lose his purpose in Jimin's life once he does. He should be happy for
them, but he can't help but wonder.

Once Jimin is ready to be themself outside of their dates and outside of their
apartments on the weekends, once he's prepared to be themself with someone who
isn't Yoongi, he won't need Yoongi anymore.

Jimin kisses him suddenly.

"What are you doing?" Yoongi turns his face.

"I can't kiss you?" Jimin pouts.

"No, I'm busy," Yoongi stands up without looking at Jimin and returns to his
laptop.

"Can't we hug for a second? You can take a break," Jimin tries. He stands up too.

"No, I can't," Yoongi stares at his screen and pretends to be busy.

Yoongi hears Jimin huff before he plops on the bed behind him. "You don't need to
be jealous, you know."

"What are you talking about, Jimin?"

"About Jungkook. You don't need to be jealous; I already told you."

"I'm not jealous. I just have things to do, so I can't hug you."

A long pause, and Yoongi starts typing. A minute and then another huff. "Whatever,"
Jimin says. This time, Yoongi turns around to watch him pick up his bag.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving because you don't want me to be here."

"I didn't say that," Yoongi argues.

"You don't have to say it! I can tell." Jimin doesn't let Yoongi answer. "If you
want time alone, you can tell me. I won't get mad if you say you don't want to hang
out. Or if one day you don't feel like talking. As long as you tell me what's
bothering you at some point."

"Something is bothering me," Yoongi admits.

"What?"

"I don't think it's right for me to say it."

Jimin takes a deep breath, evidently upset by Yoongi's answer. But he controls
himself; he snaps his neck and steps closer. "Is there something I can do, then?"

"What?"

"If you don't want to tell me yet, it's fine. But can I do something, so you're
less bothered by it?" Jimin crouches next to Yoongi's chair, so Yoongi has to look
down on him.

"Maybe you want me to leave you alone, or you want me to try to guess what it is?
I'd do anything."

Yoongi cups Jimin's face, unsure of what he's feeling. He's surprised by Jimin's
insistence on the topic. A part of him expected Jimin to simply leave and prove his
point right, that Yoongi is disposable. Instead, Jimin stays, and he turns his face
so he can kiss Yoongi's palm.

He leaves three pecks before he starts trailing more kisses down Yoongi's arm.
Yoongi's face turns bright red in a few seconds. "Uh, Jimin, what are you doing?"

"I want to kiss all of you."

Yoongi doesn't say anything about being busy; he lets Jimin plop on his lap.

Jimin starts filling his face and neck with ticklish pecks that have Yoongi
laughing. "Jimin," he fake complains.

Jimin stops kissing him, then. Their eyes meet, and he smiles softly. "I've already
told you, Yoongi. I like you. I only like you. Why are you worried?"

"You're just so out of my league," Yoongi starts. Jimin rolls his eyes at the
answer. "You are! I don't know how I landed the hottest guy ever, and the prettiest
girl, and simply- a talented dancer, who is kinky and funny and good-"

Jimin raises an eyebrow at him. "Hyung."

"Have you considered it's because you're kind and so sexy, and I feel safe with
you-"

"But also because no one knew about Minju, and I found out, and I was next to you
while you figured things out-"

"What? You think I would have fallen for whoever found out about my cosplay?"

Yoongi pouts. "Not really."

"Then, what's bothering you?"

"If I'm so special and you like me so much, why aren't we something?"

"Something?"

Yoongi is going to ruin everything, but he goes for it. "You know, something
official. Exclusive."

"We're exclusive!"

Jimin's expression changes dramatically. "Are we not exclusive? Are you talking to
someone else?"

"Jimin! No!"

"What's their name? I'll literally fight them!"

"Jimin," Yoongi sighs. "I just want you to be my boyfriend. Girlfriend. Partner.
Whatever you like best."

A small silence stretches between them before Jimin melts, pulling Yoongi into a
hug. "You want me to be your girlfriend, hyung?"

"Yeah. Would you get in a physical fight with someone over me?"

"Do you think I wouldn't?"

"My dangerous girlfriend," Yoongi jokes.

It makes Jimin laugh, and he kisses Yoongi once before frowning. "But we're already
boyfriend and girlfriend. Was that bothering you?"

"We haven't talked about it. And you keep me hidden here on the weekends, like some
secret. I didn't feel like a boyfriend at all."

"Sure, we go on dates, yeah. And we hold hands. And we fuck a lot. And we're-"

"We're doing everything boyfriends do," Jimin giggles.

"But it's not the same! You don't- you don't tell people that I'm your boyfriend."
"How do you know that?" Jimin squints his eyes.

"In campus-"

"What do you think I tell people when they ask me what am I doing on the weekend? I
tell them I'm seeing someone! That I'm going on a date with a boy I like a lot, and
he's so hot and nice and fun-"

"Well, now tell them you're seeing your boyfriend."

"I will! Will you tell people you're seeing your girl?" Yoongi blinks, and Jimin
snorts. "You can say partner if you don't want people to think you're straight. You
can also say boyfriend; they're all nice."

"I will use any of those labels from now on, thank you," Yoongi says.

"Does that make you calmer? Having a label?"

"Yeah."

"Now I can go home with Jungkook without worrying about you dying from jealousy in
here?"

Yoongi snorts at the call out, but he has to admit, the label helps. "Yes, I don't
think jealousy will consume me anymore."

"All because of a word?" Jimin teases.

"There's a difference between, 'the guy I'm seeing is on a trip with his friend.'
and 'my boyfriend is on a trip with his friend.' The second one makes me feel safe.
The word means something; it means you're mine. I have rights over you."

Jimin squeaks and playfully pushes Yoongi away. "You don't have rights over me!"

"I do! I have the right to kiss you whenever I want-" Yoongi presses his lips to
Jimin's cheek and makes Jimin laugh. "And come say hi whenever I want and kiss you
on the lips."

"Mmh, yeah."

"I guess you have some rights. You have the right to shut your laptop right now and
make love to me." Yoongi obeys, closing the laptop, gripping Jimin's thigh tightly,
and carrying him to bed.

Jimin laughs, and Yoongi thinks it's weird how a simple word can put him at ease.

After finals, Jimin returns home with Jungkook, and Yoongi finds safety in their
label; knowing Jimin is officially his partner means Jimin choose him, and it's
lovely. Yoongi is having quiet days at home until Jimin calls him suddenly. On his
second day in Busan.

"Baby?" Yoongi picks up only to hear Jimin whine.

"Hyung! I don't know what to do!"

"Hey, what happened? Calm down." Yoongi worries, but Jimin is panting.

"Minju is having a fan meet! And Jihyun wants to go and meet her and talk to her
about their texts."

"Oh."

Yoongi sits on his bed, thinking of what this means. "Jimin, what are you going to
do?"

"I have to tell him, right?"

"Yeah, I think you should."

"It's going to be horrible, hyung. I was afraid of coming back home because of
Jihyun, but it's gotten worse now."

"I know, baby, but- your mom knows about the texts, so she can help you talk to him
about it."

"I'll have to come out to them, and Jungkook too. Tell them the whole story behind
Minju. How I couldn't stop doing it because I liked being her. How I kept going far
just to be her."

Yoongi's heart breaks when he listens to Jimin's desperate voice. "You haven't
talked to Jungkook yet?"

"Not yet." A pause. "I wish you were here; I wish I could do this with you."

"Jimin."
"You've made things easier for me, but now you aren't here for this."

"Do you want me to go?" Yoongi asks.

"I was- I wanted to talk to Jungkook on my own. I wanted to do that without you."
Yoongi comprehends what Jimin is saying. "Without you trying to organize my ideas
and questioning. Just, I wanted to do it."

"I understand."

"But."

"But, now, I don't think I can do it alone."

So far, in their relationship, Yoongi has proven to be able to drop anything for
Jimin. From silly things like skipping class to dropping an entire label because
Jimin makes him feel so much. So he's ready to drop everything now too.

If he needs to get on a train right now, he will do it. He knows Jimin knows he
would do it. But he stops to think because he's Jimin's boyfriend, and maybe Jimin
doesn't need

Yoongi to show up and 'save' him. Perhaps he just needs Yoongi to remind him that
he can do it alone.

"Why do you think that?" Yoongi asks.

"Because I can't," Jimin mumbles. "I'm not with you, in your or my house, when
you're with me, protecting me from freaks in the street," Jimin chuckles sadly at
that. "Jihyun is going to hate me. And what if he doesn't understand me?"

Yoongi is torn between preparing a bag and not. He's worried about Jimin, and he
knows Jimin wouldn't be like this if he wasn't distraught. "What do you want to do,
Jimin?"

"I want nothing to happen," he laughs dryly one more time. "Just pretend nothing
ever happened."

Yoongi is still torn between what to do or say. He doesn't want to say anything
that could hurt Jimin, especially when he's so worried but he also thinks he has to
speak his mind.
"You know, when you told me you felt responsible for Jihyun's accident, I told you
weren't."
"I still think you aren't, but you are responsible for the lying afterward. So you
can't pretend it didn't happen; you have to take responsibility for that and tell
Jihyun the truth."

A long pause. "I know, but- but it's far more complex than just telling Jihyun the
truth!"

"It's what comes with the truth that scares me! Yoongi, you know what I mean!"

"I know, I know! But you have to face it. And you can do it alone; you've told me
before that you can take care of yourself. Jimin, you're just looking for an excuse
not to do it when you can!"

Jimin is quiet for a long moment. "You know, I just wanted you to comfort me, but
you're lecturing me."

"I am supporting you! I'm telling you things as they are."

"No, you're being mean."

"Jimin, I'm trying to help you."

"Whatever, Yoongi." And Jimin hangs up.

Yoongi doesn't know if he fucked up, clearly he made Jimin upset, but he said what
he needed to say, not what Jimin wanted to hear. He only said the things he did
because he worries about Jimin, but Jimin took it the wrong way. Yoongi doesn't
call again; it would be useless.

He and Jimin won't be on the same page.

But also, the thought of Jimin being sad on his own makes Yoongi feel terrible. He
remembers how Jimin handled him when Yoongi was feeling troubled about their
labels, how loving he was, so he decides to reach out through a text.

“Jimin,” he types. “I don't want us to be on bad terms when we’re afar, and you’re
going through this.”

Yoongi stares at the screen, wondering why relationships can't be simpler. Jimin
replies soon. “I got upset because hyung told the truth.”

Not the text Yoongi was expecting.

“Yeah?”
“I’m afraid of the consequences of my actions. I wanted hyung to tell me not to
worry, that I didn't need to do anything. That he would take care of everything, I
think I expected you to fix things for me.”

“I wish I could fix everything for you. But I can't.”

“I would if I could.”

“I know, hyung.”

“You know you're very brave, Jimin. When you left Minju behind, when you dressed in
the clothes you wanted, every time you’ve told me how you feel each day. Hyung was
there, but he didn't do any of that. That was only you.”

Jimin sends a crying emoji that makes Yoongi smile. “You can do anything. You owe
Jihyun the truth. Maybe he won't understand, but that's okay; you didn't even
understand yourself.”

“You’re right.”

“He can be confused as long as he isn't mean.”

“He’s good. He won't be mean.”

“I’ll tell Jungkook first, and then mom and Jihyun. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Okay.”

Yoongi types “I love you” but deletes it before doing something stupid like
pressing send. It is not the moment, and it’s soon. He and Jimin have moved pretty
fast, but this is too much.

Yoongi is anxious the following day; he wishes Jimin good luck in the morning but
hasn't heard from them yet. They’re talking to Jungkook today, and Yoongi can't
always be there for Jimin; they need to do this, but Yoongi can't stay still until
he gets a text in the night.

“It went well,” the text says. Followed by many shy monkey emojis. “Call me?”

Jimin tells Yoongi that Jungkook was supportive. That he understood right away, and
that he suggested they kidnap the real Minju so the fanmeet never happens. Yoongi
is shocked by Jungkook’s ideas.
Jimin sounds relieved. They are calmer than yesterday, and Yoongi feels like he can
breathe again. Someone’s support can cause so much difference in a person.

They’re happy that Jungkook was on board right away; now, they’re ready for the big
confrontation. They have high hopes.

Yoongi must admit it feels a little odd for him not to be there. But it’s Jimin’s
confrontation. Not his. He still waits impatiently after Jimin lets him know
they’ll talk to their mother and Jihyun. He worries every hour that passes; he’s
even glad Jungkook is with him.
Yoongi doesn't get a text that night, and he can't sleep. He sends a couple of
texts to Jimin, telling them he hopes everything went alright, remembering them
that Yoongi is waiting for them back home. But he gets no answer.

Yoongi wakes up the next day to a text from Jimin.

It's a selfie of Jimin and a child -who Yoongi supposes is Jihyun-. The child is
looking at Jimin.

“He’s upset I didn't bring the wigs. He wanted to meet my Minju.”

Yoongi thinks he’s never been as relieved as now, watching Jimin’s bright smile
through the screen.

It feels good that something that seemed so scary could be something easy. Jimin
tells him that tears were shed and that he kept apologizing, that he thought it
would be horrible, but it wasn't. There were questions, but it wasn't bad.

Yoongi thinks days move faster after that.

The next thing he knows, he’s waiting in the train station for Jimin to return.

Jimin and Jungkook walk out of the train among many people, and Jimin doesn't take
long to find Yoongi beaming at him. They’re wearing an oversized red cardigan, and
their hair has gotten longer.

Jimin hugs Yoongi so intensely that they almost knock Yoongi down. Yoongi wraps his
arms around Jimin’s middle. “Hey,” he says.

“I missed you so much.”

“It was two weeks,” Jungkook complains behind them. He nods at Yoongi as a
greeting, and Yoongi nods back at him.

"I missed you too, baby." Yoongi tugs at the sweater. "This is new."

"Yes, my mom got it for me because all of my clothes were dark, and I wanted
something prettier when I felt more feminine. I didn't take any of my clothes!"
Yoongi smiles. "It's pretty and bright. I like it."

"Look, this is also adorable," Jimin is excited, and Yoongi can't take his eyes off
them. They lift their wrist and show Yoongi a bracelet. "Jungkook and Jihyun made
it. I can change the pendant to the pronouns I want to use, so they don't have to
ask every time."

"Huh."

"It's silly, but Jihyun thought it was smart. So there's a pink pendant-" the one
currently hanging from the bracelet. "For femininity. And a blue for masculinity,
but I didn't put it on today, and this white one that means 'they.'"

"So, it's she, they, today."

"Isn't it cute?"

"It's very cute," Yoongi admits.

Jimin hugs him again after that. "It's silly, but it made me happy."

"It's not silly if it made you happy."

"Umh, I'm mostly happy with him and they, so I guess I'll wear it when I want to
use her." Yoongi put a strand of hair behind her ear.

"That sounds good."

"Everyone was a little confused at first, but in the end, it was okay! Mom helped
me explain to Jihyun. She had figured out that I liked being Minju, but she didn't
know what I was." Yoongi grabs Jimin's bags with one hand and holds her hand with
the other.

"She didn't know if I was a girl or what was happening, so she didn't want me to
stop with the cosplay because she said it was clear that I was figuring myself out.
She was very nice. Jungkook helped too!"

"I did," Jungkook mumbles now that Jimin remembers his presence.

Yoongi swallows his jealousy from the past weeks, and he meets Jungkook's eyes.
"Thank you for that."

"It's okay," Jungkook says. "I'm a decent human. She could have told me sooner
about it, but it's fine."

Jimin glares at their best friend. "Shut up. I know you're decent."
"But you were being a whiny bitch about kendo; I didn't want to tell this when you
were so annoying."

"You're the bitch."

"Eugh!"

Yoongi's eyes widen. It seems Jimin has ditched acting 'lady-like' when she's
feeling feminine. Or maybe she's just this way with Jungkook.

"Jimin, I've never heard you talk like that," Yoongi decides to tease them.

"Well, that's because I want you to think I'm cute." Yoongi smiles softly at how
she changes her voice once she addresses him.

"Yet, you're behaving like this in front of him," Jungkook complains.

"Because he's already my boyfriend!" Jimin whines. "I don't need to charm him
anymore." Yoongi bites his lower lip, watching Jungkook and Jimin banter.

"I don't think it works that way. He'll dump you if you stop being charming."

"I won't," Yoongi whispers.

"I know you won't."

Later, when Yoongi and Jimin arrive at Jimin's apartment, she begins unpacking.
"Jimin, what word did you use to explain what you are to your mom and Jihyun? I
mean, you said your mom didn't know if you were a girl. What did you say?"

Jimin giggles. "Oppa and his labels."

"I'm curious. She thought you were a woman, right?"

"Yeah. She thought I was transitioning, but I told her I'm not a woman. That I'm
genderfluid."

"Huh. That's what you are."

"That's the word that best describes what I feel, not what I am. We're not our
labels, oppa."
Yoongi agrees; he thinks his crisis when meeting Jimin had to do with making being
gay a crucial part of who he was. He's not supposed to fit the label; the label is
supposed to fit him. "I think I'm still gay."

"Yeah, you are."

"As an umbrella term."

Jimin giggles. "Of course."

"Maybe queer would be better?" Yoongi tries.

"As long as you like it. You can still say you're gay; I don't feel dismissed if
you feel like that."

"You don't?"

"I don't. I'm a man... sometimes. Plus, I don't have to define what you feel more
comfortable with!"

Yoongi frowns, and Jimin gets close to him, grabbing his hand. "We can try it out?
Like when we tried out my pronouns! You can try and see if you like queer. If you
don't, stick to gay! What are you afraid of? There's no gay police to revoke your
gay card."

Yoongi snorts.

"I just don't want to feel like I'm lying, grabbing a label that doesn't belong to
me."

"You always worry too much." Yoongi shrugs; that's nothing new. Jimin leans in to
peck him on the lips, which makes Yoongi smile.

"We can try it out."

"Yeah! Things change. That's okay."

Since Jimin's hair has grown, they've stopped using wigs. They prefer to have his
hair at a length that he can leave down or put it up in a bun. He's moving his old
wigs when he stops at a black one.

"Yoongi hyung! If we style this one into a bob, it will look so good on you!
ella⁷

💜the end💜