Relationship God's Idea

Copyright©2020 Ola Aina
All rights reserved under International Copyright

Law. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form
or by any means, including photocopying,
recording, or other electronic or mechanical
methods, without the prior written permission of the
publisher, except in the case of brief quotations
embodied in reviews and certain other non-
commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Design by;
DotVisuals
+2347086681681
TABLE OF CONTENTS
God’s Concept for Marriage 1-9
Waiting and Dating 10-20
Root Work of Marriage 21-25
The Ministry Nature of Marriage 26-28

INTRODUCTION
R
elationship between a man and a
woman is a major aspect of
humanity. God began the process
and designed it for our benet.
In this book we would take our time to look

at vital truths that affects both the single
and the married.
Ola Aina
Relationship: God’s Idea 1
GOD'S CONCEPT
OF MARRIAGE
“The Lord God said, “it is not good

for the man to be alone; I will make
him a helper meet (suitable) for
him….” _Gen 2v28
Marriage is an institution that has different

versions of it.
Ø We have diverse opinions cutting
across tribes, religion and cultures on
marriages should run.
Ø We are all from different cultures and
backgrounds.
Ø We may not realize it but this has
indirect inuence how we relate to
2 Relationship: God’s Idea
marriage.
Ø Building our marriages on tribal lines
and Cultural inclinations will be a
F a u l t y F O U N D AT I O N b e c a u s e
marriage WASN'T instituted by any of
it.
Ø Culture and tribal demands can only
stand when they are in agreement with
the manual of the original author.
1. It's clear from scripture that marriage

was purely a divine idea.
ØIt wasn't Adam that went to God to ask
for a wife.
ØHe was so preoccupied with his divine

assignment that he did not know he
needed a wife.
Ø Marriage that will be great must
therefore begin in God, operate in

God and conclude in God.
Ø Anything that is done without God or
does not represent or reect God will
hinder the purpose of God for
marriage.
Ø If God began it then he must have a
say in it.
ØWhatever God'sword says is God's say
on any issue.
2.Marriage was instituted to full a divine

purpose invested in man.
ØIt therefore means that if marriage will
become what God intended it must be
purpose driven.
ØIts far beyond I need a man or woman
ØIts far beyond parental pressures.
ØWhen a man and woman lack a sense
of purpose and mission in life

marriage will also lack a sense of
direction.
ØThere should be a discovery of purpose
before the choice of a marital partner.
Ø It should be PURPOSE before
PLEASURE
Ø Once we change that position there
will always be a problem.
Ø Many are married but still frustrated
because they came into marriage with
a wrong sense of expectation.
ØThe human greatest sense of fulllment
c o m e s f r o m t h e d i s c o v e r y,
development and deployment of
purpose.
ØThe rst man actually needed a woman
to full purpose.
ØThe woman came as a needed help to
full purpose.
Ø THE WOMAN WAS A DIVINE HELP
FOR THE MAN AND VICE VERSA.
Ø It's important every man sees his wife
this way and every wife sees her
husband that way.
Ø The woman may not be as smart or
intelligent as the man but packaged in
her is what the man requires to full a
purpose. When a man ignores,
neglects, maltreats this divine help
he'll get it wrong somewhere along
the line.
Ø This understanding will dramatically
change many marriages.
3.Families are interrelated but there is an

individuality to every family.
ØGod categorically told the man to leave
his father and mother to be joined to

his wife.
Ø The individuality of every marriage is
to allow them full their unique divine
purpose.
ØThis suggests that your marriage is not
designed to be exactly like that of your
parents and friends.
ØThe purpose of this is not to abandon
the parents but to allow them to build
their individuality in God.
Ø Many marital issues are based on
parental inuence or 3rd party
inuence.
ØThis individuality we are talking about
is within the connes of morality,
civility and scriptural parameters.
4.Marriages become great and fullling

when everyone carefully and clearly
understands their position and roles
from the perspective of God's word.
ØIn the book of Genesis, It was clear that
the whole process of marriage began
with the man.
ØThe man is also required to begin the
process of building the marriage.
ØHe can't take the back seat and expect
the woman to do all the job.
Ø The woman is designed to play a
complementary role.
Øin many cases you nd the wife is the
one doing all the prayers, forgiving,
apologizing, accommodating etc.
Ø You will notice that after the fall God
did not ask the woman a question.
The man was responsible.
ØAs usual he wanted to pass the blame

to his wife.
Ø Satan had his way because along the
line the man left his place.
Ø The man should begin the process of
making sacrices that the marriage
works.
ØThe concept of man as the head is not
for superiority; but for responsibility.
Ø Its not for the purpose of dominating
the woman but for leadership.
Leading his family to purpose.
ØThe man as the head is not a title. It's a
position of responsibility and
accountability.
ØThe head is not a position earned; but
a divine purpose and assignment
conferred on a man.
Ø Submission is not something we
demand for but a natural sequence of

a leadership that works.
Ø Marriages work Perfectly when A wife
also understands Perfectly her
complementary roles and humbly
function in that role.
WAITING AND DATING
L
et's begin by saying relationships are
ordained by God. He's the author of
it. If this is true which obviously is we
must then allow him to have a say on it.
The rst major mistake anyone could

make in relationship is to assume that we
are old and smart enough to handle the
issue of relationship on our own.
This where we need the wisdom and the

guidance of the word of God.
If relationships were based on age and

smartness there won't be any relationship
problems.
What do you think?

Let's outline some basic steps in making
the most of any relationship!
1. The foundation of it must be sincere,

godly and built on truth.
2. We must be 99.9% sure that God led us
to it. The lingering doubt should just be
1%. I hope you understand this. Once it
becomes a game of chance it will lack
the fortitude to withstand the storms.
3. It must be a purpose driven relationship.

At the genesis of creation, the purpose
of relationship was to bring 2 people
together that helps each other to full

purpose.
A relationship will therefore be as strong

as we help each other to full purpose.
A purpose driven relationship can only be

built by individuals who already have a
clear sense of purpose prior to the
relationship.
It therefore means that the greatest pursuit

of a single person should be purpose
before relationship.
If you don't have a sense of purpose before

marriage the challenges in it may drown
your voice forever.
May God have mercy.
In the words of Kenneth Hagin "God's kind

of love has never failed and has never been
to a divorced court."
This is deep!
4. The greatest ingredient required for

relationship is character and not beauty.
Beauty without character is an absolute
waste. And so when you are out to have a
relationship the rst consideration should
be character and not the gure 8 or the
size of chest.
5. The concept of having a perfect partner

only exists in Bollywood or in our
imagination. Every human being on the
face of the earth is a raw material. God is
still working on all of us. When God gives
you someone you must be ready to roll
your sleeves and be ready to make it work.

Let's move swiftly to "WAITING”
This is a period in which someone is not

actively in any relationship waiting to have
one.
Waiting is not a disease and it does not

mean God has abandoned you.
Waiting is a phase of life and there is no
phase that will last forever.
Waiting may endure for a night but
relationship comes in the morning.
What Bible verse is that?

The mistake we can make in this season of
life is to become so preoccupied with
having a relationship that we suspend our
lives. Recently I have the privilege of
relating with two ladies who are

desperately in need of a relationship. With
every conversation you can sense this aura
of people who has concluded "my joy and
fullment is tied to this”
Sometimes we forget that no one needs a

partner who is an emotional wreck. Some
have literally stopped living waiting for Mr.
or Mrs. Right to show up. Waiting should
be a time of discovering, developing and
deploying their purpose. Don't suspend
your life waiting for someone to come and
bail you out. It will be a double "whala" not
having a partner and not having joy in
yourself.
The greatest fullment in life is found in

God and in yourself. If you can't nd joy in
God and in yourself no mortal man can

offer you. And so waiting period should be
a time of pursuing God. If you can't nd joy
in God no mortal man or woman can give
you. If you can't nd joy in God, you will
frustrate the life of another person because
they will be wasting their time to offer you
what is only available in God.
I don't know what your answers to these will

be but this are the things you should be
working on while waiting. If you don't get
this right even when you marry you'll still be
miserable. Marriage is not designed to bail
you out of an irresponsible life.
Let me ask you brother and Sister

1. Have you discovered your purpose in
life?
2. Where exactly are you going in life? If

you don't know where you are going it will
be dangerous for someone to follow you!
3. Are you really emotionally stable

enough to accommodate the weaknesses
in another person?
4. Is your heart large enough to help

another person rise in life?
5. How useful have you been to yourself

and to people around you that will make
someone to desire to spend the rest of their
precious life with only you.
Lastly dating
For me I feel dating is a period we get to
know this person you have agreed to have

a relationship with.
Its same as courtship!
Some may not agree with me. As a believer

there is nothing as testing or trying out an
Individual. There should be clarity of
decision and direction from onset.
A proposal or acceptance should not be

made until we are sure its God direction.
Don't wait till after 1 or 2 years of
relationship before you start asking if it's
God's will. At that time emotions would
have taken over your sense of judgement.
Before we set out we must have sought the
face of God. We are free to get close to
someone and be friendly but it will be
wrong to make a proposal without having

a clear direction. However even when you
have a clear direction there will still be a
period that we get to know this individual
you are intending to spend the rest of your
life with.
It's a period we must move with care,

patience and wisdom.
It's a period to plan, pray and prepare for

the future.
Dating is a time to be open, ask questions

and don't pretend all in the name of love.
Love is not the same as stupidity. Don't
suspend your brain in the name of love.
Dating or courtship is not the same as
marriage. The responsibility of marriage
should not start at this stage. Don't start the

re if you are not ready to cook.
Once the re of romance starts it will be

difcult to quench and to make sound
decisions afterwards.
ROOT WORK
OF MARRIAGE
“Once more a remnant of the

kingdom of Judah will take root
below and bear fruit above.” _Isa.
37v31NIV
“…Shall take root donward, and
bear fruit upward.” KJV
J
ust a little review of Agric science. The
plant system is made up of the
downward (Root) and the upward
(Shoot and everything attached). Most of
the time we don't see the roots but they play
a vital role in the overall display of the
fruits. The root does not depend on the
fruits but the fruits depend on the roots.
Note the following:

1. The roots determine the depth of the
plant
2.The roots determine the anchor of the
plant
3.The roots determine the stability of the
plant against the storms
4. The roots make nutrients available to
the quality of fruits produced.
This is why deep rooted plants stay longer

than shallow rooted plants. This is why it
will be stupid for a farmer to ignore the
roots and focus on the fruits. The “ROOT”
work is what determines the “FRUIT”
display.
let's apply all this to marriage.

Most times couples focus more on the fruit
display; outward impression created
among outsiders. We have so much
pretense going on behind the scene. Many
marriages are coated with an outward
pretense while fatal decay is already
taking place behind the scene.
A purpose-driven marriage is built day by

day behind the scenes. This is the root
work that determine the ultimate fruit
produced in the marriage. A decayed root
may not show on time because it's not
feasible to the eyes. Most challenges in
marriage are end products of a decayed
root. The root work are the sacrices and
the commitments that are made behind
the scene that the physical eyes does not
see. A careless, casual and carefree

approach to marriage will never produce
anything signicant. It demands total
devotion.
If the “fruit display” will be genuine and

lasting the “root work” must be done
deeply and consistently.
Root Work
1. Daily acts of forgiveness as God has
forgiven us.
2.Daily act of kindness
3.Daily words of afrmation to boost the
emotional bank of our partners.
4.Daily devotion to create an atmosphere
of love, acceptance and openness.
5. Learning to treat one another with
respect and honor.
6. Daily ensuring that the roots of strife

and bitterness is uprooted.
7. Daily allowing God and his word to
have the nal word on every issue.
THE MINISTRY NATURE

OF MARRIAGE
M
arriage is far more than an
achievement; it's a ministry. Most
people don't see it this way that's
why we approach t carelessly and casually.
Don't forget it's a lifetime journey. When
you hear the word “ministry” what comes
to our minds is a pastor, evangelist etc.
A “ministry ” simply means a divine

assignment. It's a heaven endowed
responsibility conferred on a man or
woman. Usually ministry is a set of
responsibility that God gives an individual
l towards a given set of people. My ministry

is to teach his word. So also is marriage.
When you are married it becomes a divine
calling on your life. It's a calling towards
your wife/husband and the product of that
marriage.
Ministry is something we cherish, honour

and hold in high esteem. Ministry is mostly
a life of service where a man pours out his
life to meet the needs of another person.
Every ministry usually comes with divine
enablement and grace to carry out the
functions of that ministry. When you are
married it comes with a unique grace and
divine enablement to serve our spouses.
The lifelong journey of marriage become

stress-free when we ride on the grace of
God and total reliance on heaven given

wisdom.
Conclusion
1. If you are single prepare for marriage
with a sense of going into ministry. Prepare
depending more on the grace and wisdom
of God and not mere romance.
2. If you are married relate with your

marriage as a ministry received from the
Lord depending absolutely on the grace
and the wisdom of God.

Relationship God&#39;s Idea

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Relationship God&#39;s Idea

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Copyright©2020 Ola Aina

All rights reserved under International Copyright

God’s Concept for Marriage 1-9

Waiting and Dating 10-20

Root Work of Marriage 21-25

The Ministry Nature of Marriage 26-28

In this book we would take our time to look

“The Lord God said, “it is not good

Marriage is an institution that has different

1. It's clear from scripture that marriage

ØHe was so preoccupied with his divine

therefore begin in God, operate in

2.Marriage was instituted to full a divine

of purpose and mission in life

3.Families are interrelated but there is an

his father and mother to be joined to

4.Marriages become great and fullling

ØAs usual he wanted to pass the blame

demand for but a natural sequence of

WAITING AND DATING

The rst major mistake anyone could

This where we need the wisdom and the

If relationships were based on age and

What do you think?

1. The foundation of it must be sincere,

3. It must be a purpose driven relationship.

together that helps each other to full

A relationship will therefore be as strong

A purpose driven relationship can only be

It therefore means that the greatest pursuit

If you don't have a sense of purpose before

In the words of Kenneth Hagin "God's kind

4. The greatest ingredient required for

5. The concept of having a perfect partner

your sleeves and be ready to make it work.

This is a period in which someone is not

Waiting is not a disease and it does not

What Bible verse is that?

relating with two ladies who are

Sometimes we forget that no one needs a

The greatest fullment in life is found in

God and in yourself no mortal man can

I don't know what your answers to these will

Let me ask you brother and Sister

2. Where exactly are you going in life? If

3. Are you really emotionally stable

4. Is your heart large enough to help

5. How useful have you been to yourself

know this person you have agreed to have

Its same as courtship!

Some may not agree with me. As a believer

A proposal or acceptance should not be

wrong to make a proposal without having

It's a period we must move with care,

It's a period to plan, pray and prepare for

Dating is a time to be open, ask questions

should not start at this stage. Don't start the

Once the re of romance starts it will be

“Once more a remnant of the

fruits but the fruits depend on the roots.

Note the following:

This is why deep rooted plants stay longer

let's apply all this to marriage.

A purpose-driven marriage is built day by

Relationship God's Idea

Relationship God's Idea