19 MARCH 2023

Succession’s
Nicholas
Braun
MEN’S
FASHION
SPECIAL COUSIN GREG’S NEXT MOVE
 The Barometer Edited by Priya Elan

Fashion! Beauty! People! Things! Welcome to your weekly guide

to the stuff everyone will be talking about. Do keep up

Everyone’s talking about …

Mam Sham’s supper clubs
Think Beyoncé’s world tour is the hottest ticket of the
moment? OK, maybe it is — but coming in a close
second is a spot at one of the banquets hosted by the
comedy duo Mam Sham. The renowned supper clubs
from the London-based best friends Maria Georgiou
(left), 32, and Rhiannon Butler (right), 31, include
great laughs from the pair alongside epic
culinary line-ups. Mam Sham’s next
event, on March 31 at the Big Penny
Social in north London, will see the
Turkish-Cypriot chef and bestselling
author Big Has curate the starters,
the Hackney restaurant Lucky &
Joy cook the main course and the
ice-cream connoisseurs Happy
Endings do dessert. Run,
don’t walk. mamsham.com

Make some magic

for ‘Aladdin blue’
He’s big, he’s blue, he can grant you three wishes
and he’s … the fashion muse you never knew you
Getty Images, James Moyle

needed. Well, apart from his topknot. Yes, this

season’s unlikely icon is the genie from Aladdin, and
street-stylers currently can’t get enough of his shade.
During the most recent fashion weeks, azure could be
seen in Milan, London and Paris on trousers, jackets,
jumpers and even hair. Magic lamps sadly not included.

ON THE COVER NICHOLAS BRAUN PHOTOGRAPH SINNA NASSERI STYLING VERITY PARKER. T-SHIRT, £380, THE ROW. VINTAGE SWEATER VEST, £105, CHICKEE’S VINTAGE. OVERSHIRT, £245, APC. COAT, £2,400, LOEWE. TROUSERS, £375, DRAKE’S

EDITOR LAURA ATKINSON DEPUTY EDITOR CHARLOTTE WILLIAMSON ART DIRECTOR ANDREW BARLOW FASHION DIRECTOR KAREN DACRE BEAUTY DIRECTOR SARAH JOSSEL ACTING BEAUTY DIRECTOR PHOEBE MCDOWELL
FEATURES EDITOR PRIYA ELAN ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR SCARLETT RUSSELL JEWELLERY DIRECTOR JESSICA DIAMOND ASSOCIATE FASHION DIRECTOR VERITY PARKER FASHION AND MERCHANDISE EDITOR FLOSSIE SAUNDERS
BOOKINGS DIRECTOR AND CREATIVE PRODUCER LEILA HARTLEY ACTING BOOKINGS DIRECTOR AND CREATIVE PRODUCER JESSICA HARRISON PICTURE EDITOR CATHERINE PYKETT-COMBES ACTING PICTURE EDITOR LORI LEFTEROVA
SENIOR DESIGNER ANDY TAYLOR JUNIOR FASHION EDITOR HELEN ATKIN STAFF WRITER AND EDITORIAL ASSISTANT ROISIN KELLY CONTRIBUTING EDITOR ALICE KEMP-HABIB CHIEF SUB-EDITOR SOPHIE FAVELL SENIOR SUB-EDITOR JANE MCDONALD

© Times Media Ltd, 2023. Published and licensed by Times Media Ltd, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF (020 7782 5000). Printed by Prinovis UK Ltd, Liverpool. Not to be sold separately

The Sunday Times Style • 3

 Heating up
▲ DONKEYS
Donkey ears on the
catwalks of Collina
Strada, a starring role
in Banshees of Inisherin
— and now a film
called EO all about, you
guessed it …
▲ SEXY INSTAGRAM TEACHERS
The new influencers
are teaching us
French and looking hot
while doing it. See
@frenchteachercarlito
and @atfrenchies
Cooling down
▼ DAD ROCK — LITERALLY
Lana Del Rey to feature
on her father Rob Grant’s
debut album, Lost at Sea
▼ BATH BOMBS
It’s all about bath pebbles
now (see beauty brand Kate
McLeod’s new range)
4 • The Sunday Times Style
▲ CLIATES
Aka cost of living
Pilates — doing your
Pilates workout at
home on a skateboard
▲ INVISIBLE
BEAUTY Spring’s must-see? A show
A new doc
celebrating
dedicated to sequins
As his fans Taylor Swift and Rihanna will attest,
the life of
Bethann
the fashion designer Ashish Gupta (right) adores
Hardison, one
a sequin. And his love of the life-affirming adornment
of the first
is very much apparent in his first retrospective
black supers
exhibition, Fall in Love and Be More Tender, which
and now a
opens at the William Morris Gallery in east London
diversity
next month. With sequined high-vis workers
advocate
jackets, shocking pink saris and his “More glitter,
less Twitter” T-shirt response to Donald Trump’s
election as American president in 2016, there’s no
better way to ring in the joys of spring.
▼ WICK’S END
Move over, scented
candles — incense is in,
notably by Astier de
Villatte, Byredo and Aesop
▼ SAYING ‘KINDLY FOLLOWING
Lather up for the two-hour shower
Forget water shortages and a planet in crisis — with more than 100
UP ON AN EMAIL’ million views on TikTok, a time (and labour) intensive shower is the
It’s not kind, is it? new form of superfluous self-care. Dubbed the “everything shower”,
it involves doing all the things you would usually do over the course
of, say, a week, in a single sitting. You need to block out two hours,
then pick up your body brush, cleanser, face mask, hair mask, razor,
loofah, lip scrub, teeth-whitening strips, everything. The latest
power-shower players to know include the much-hyped Commune
Seymour Body Wash (£45, commune.cc), Nécessaire The
Shampoo and The Conditioner (£30 each, spacenk.com) and
Nurse Jamie Exfoliband Silicone Loofah (£14, cultbeauty.co.uk).
Oh, and a drink, alcoholic if you like — because this is thirsty work.
 The Barometer
Set design: Alfie di Trolio. Additional words: Hannah Evans, Phoebe McDowell. Getty Images, Alamy, @atfrenchies

One more thing...

This check-print leather tote bag sits neatly in Burberry’s latest men’s collection, part of the
first instalment of the label’s reinvention process led by its new designer, Daniel Lee. Indeed,
the Denny bag is all about celebrating the brand’s heritage — pair yours with tailoring or
denim and a healthy dose of national pride. Denny slim tote, £1,150, burberry.com
Photograph Richard Round-Turner Styling Flossie Saunders

The Sunday Times Style • 5

 Office hours
Whether you’re suited and booted or want something more
casual, workwear has never looked so good
Edit Flossie Saunders

2
2
1
1

For an easier
look, try layering
a double-breasted
jacket over a
rollneck or
crewneck knit

DRAKE’S
4
5
4

5 7
JOHN ELLIOTT

This take on
the classic gym
6
shoe by Drake’s
6 is spot-on for
office-ready
white trainers

7
8

Sharp dresser Easy does it

1 Double-breasted jacket, £120, and 2 matching trousers, £60,
mango.com. 3 Ballpoint pen, £995, montblanc.com. 4 Cashmere
jumper, £268, reiss.com. 5 Frames, £325, cutlerandgross.com.
6 Suede belt, £97, Anderson’s, mrporter.com. 7 Cabin suitcase,
£1,050, rimowa.com. 8 Brogues, £130, dunelondon.com
1 Car coat, £225, cos.com. 2 Lambswool beanie, £29,
communityclothing.co.uk. 3 Wool overshirt, £149, arket.com.
4 T-shirt, £125, cpcompany.com. 5 Tweed trousers,
£64, marksandspencer.com. 6 Slim briefcase, £375,
carlfriedrik.com. 7 Shoes, £145, drakes.com

The Sunday Times Style • 13

 Weekend warrior
A wear-anywhere anorak and boots you’ll never want to
take off – your off-duty wardrobe is in for a treat
Edit Flossie Saunders

2
2

1
1

A watch 3
with benefits —
Tag Heuer’s smart
new style is the
ultimate everyday
accessory

H&M
3
4 For luxurious
knitwear in punchy
colours, Axel Arigato
WOOLRICH

is the name to
4 know. If you prefer
a more muted shade,
5 it also comes in
faded black

6
5

7 8

Keep it casual The sartorialist

1 Hooded coat, £520, apcstore.co.uk. 2 Sweatshirt, £25,
uniqlo.com. 3 Connected Calibre E4 Golf Edition watch, £2,100,
tagheuer.com. 4 Jeans, £110, levis.com. 5 AirPods Max, £549,
apple.com. 6 Socks, £105, John Lobb, matchesfashion.com. 7 Boots,
£299, redwinglondon.com. 8 Holdall, £630, Mismo, mrporter.com
1 Coat, £100, hm.com. 2 Umbrella, £250, Francesco Maglia,
mrporter.com. 3 Green jumper, £235, axelarigato.com.
4 Trousers, £56, massimodutti.com. 5 Stanton Hawker Hurricane
Kent watch, £255, AVI-8, watchpilot.com. 6 Tote bag, £45, Rains,
flannels.com. 7 Suede shoes, £225, russellandbromley.co.uk

The Sunday Times Style • 15

‘When we finished
season I sobbed
Succession has made Nicholas
Braun one of TV’s hottest stars.
As the new (and final) series
of the family drama arrives, he
talks to Hadley Freeman about
bromance, bars – and the
unassuming power of Cousin Greg
Photographs Sinna Nasseri Styling Verity Parker

Before meeting me in a bar in midtown New York one

Saturday evening, Nicholas Braun spends the after-
noon mooching around the Gagosian gallery and
drinking cocktails with none other than … Matthew
Macfadyen. That’s right, Cousin Greg and Tom
Wambsgans from Succession — the bromance that
brings light relief to the show’s dark heart — are even
closer in real life than on screen.
“God, I love Matthew,” Braun, 34, says in a tone that
comes perilously close to soppy. “I just feel extremely
close to him — when we finished shooting the last
season I sobbed saying goodbye. It’s still hard to get
through a scene with him without laughing.”
Even though Braun and Macfadyen are currently
spending their every working hour staring into each
other’s eyes as they finish shooting Succession’s fourth
and final series, they couldn’t bear to be parted over the
weekend. “I haven’t been to a museum since I don’t
even remember. But we wanted to hang, so this was the
activity, and then we went to Bemelmans,” Braun says,
referring to the iconic Upper East Side bar. (Sidenote:
Sam Rockwell was also on this perfect-sounding date.
But seeing as he is not part of the Greg-Tom affair we
can just ignore him.)
The question of who will take over the Roy family
business is the central question of Succession, and when
the last series ended it looked like Tom and Greg were
joining forces to seize power together: the ultimate
Tom-Greg fantasy. They were both duly nominated for
an outstanding supporting actor in a drama series
Emmy, and last September when they went to the cere-
mony — well, probably best to let Braun tell this. Cotton shirt, £350,
“Matthew’s and my hands were on each other’s legs silk shirt, £440, and
when the nominees were getting read out,” he says. trousers, £495,
I’m sorry — your hands were where? Lemaire. Vintage
“Yes, and, like, we were looking at each other, New Balance trainers
squeezing each other’s legs when our names got read and white socks
aloud. Then when he won, I got to be the first person to (throughout),
give him a hug. And then his wife.” stylist’s own

16 • The Sunday Times Style

shooting the last
saying goodbye’
 T-shirt, £75, Drake’s. Knit
shirt, £800, Tod’s.
Technical-fabric coat,
£2,795, Loro Piana.
Trousers, £1,160, Tom Ford.
Trainers, Braun’s own
 So is Macfadyen’s wife, Keeley Hawes, jealous of this
romance between the two of them, I ask, possibly a bit ‘Greg has a kind of
too excitedly.
“Uhh, no. No, no, no,” he says looking at me as if I’m
a bit unhinged. Well, it wasn’t me who was just talking
faux naiveté, and
about gazing into Macfadyen’s eyes while feeling up his
leg, Nicholas.
I think I do that too’
Since it launched in 2018, Succession, the HBO drama
about the Roy family, a fictional mega-rich media
dynasty, has been a critical and commercial blockbuster,
with the writers and cast dominating every TV awards
show ever since. And deservedly so, because they are all
terrific, from Brian Cox’s furious swearing as the patri-
arch, Logan, to Jeremy Strong’s tortured angst as the
eldest son, Kendall. But it’s Braun as Cousin Greg who
has really endeared himself to audiences, making an
instant star out of the former jobbing actor, to the point
that when he met Steven Spielberg, Spielberg cried:
“I can’t believe I’m meeting Cousin Greg!”
Braun had actually been acting since he was a kid but
was so tired of depressing auditions and failed pilots that
he was on the verge of focusing instead on music with his
brother, and then he was cast in the show. When I ask
Jesse Armstrong, the British writer who created Succession,
how he knew Braun was right for the character of Greg, he
says: “Nick had that comforting thing for a comedy writer
of nailing every comic beat available, but also brought his
own rhythms, winkling out extra comedy and pathos.”
Now the man who has been described by the New
York Post as “NYC’s hottest bachelor” has his moves
around the city feverishly followed by female fans. “He
asked me for sugar and I could barely respond,” one
sighed on a celeb-spotting site.
Alas this bachelor does now have a girlfriend.
“I shouldn’t mention it,” he says, even though he was
the one who brought her up. “But it’s really a special
thing we got going on.” (He eventually concedes that
she’s “super creative” and wants to be a producer.)
Yet despite being a very alpha 6ft 7in and sought after
by women across Manhattan, Braun does not carry
himself like the millennial Mr Big. He hunches and “Yeah, I know!” he says, looking stricken. “I had, like,
contorts himself so much that when he’s filming the a posture strap. But, um, yeah …” he trails off. On Succes-
other actors don’t need to stand on boxes to be at his sion Greg is the hopeless outsider and Braun comes
eye level, even though some are a foot shorter than him. across as a bit Gregish in this bar, Pebble, to be honest.
“I do a lot of leaning,” he says. You’ll be riddled with He partly owns it, yet when we arrive the staff don’t
slipped discs by the time you’re 40, I say. even know his name. (“It’s Nick?” he says with Greg’s
upward-tick intonation.) When he then orders food —
“I’ll have the devilled eggs?” — it takes enormous
self-restraint not to make a reference to “Greg the egg”,
the belittling nickname used by the Roys. In his very
dress-down outfit of a hoodie and jeans Braun seems
about as out of place in this swanky three-storey bar,
with its retro dark wood and expensive furniture, as
Greg is among the Roys. (Mark Ronson is another
investor in Pebble, which makes more sense.)
© 2023 StudioCanal SAS, HBO

In fact Braun has become something of a hotspot

magnate. It started when he was on “a big night with a
buddy of mine, [the New York hospitality impresario]
Jon Neidich”, he says, and Neidich mentioned, at 3am,
that he was opening a bar. “And I was, like, ‘Dude, you
gotta tell me when you’re starting bars, man,’ obviously
like a hundred drinks into it. And he’s like, ‘Do you want

Above Braun with Emilia Jones in Cat Person. Above right Braun as Cousin Greg in Succession, and with Matthew Macfadyen

The Sunday Times Style • 19

 ‘I f***ing hated school.
I wasn’t the best at
making friends. It didn’t
come easily to me’
in on this one?’ ‘Yeah!’ And we shook on it right there.”
Trying in vain to suppress memories of Greg getting
wasted at Tom’s bleak bachelor party, I ask if he
regretted shaking on anything at 3am.
“No, I checked it out the next morning and it was
great,” he says. This was the Lower East Side dive bar
Ray’s, which has become downtown’s celebrity hang-
out, with Gigi Hadid, Zoë Kravitz and ASAP Rocky all
spotted there. This was followed by the stylishly retro
deli S&P, on 5th Avenue, then Pebble. “I don’t know.
I think it was, like, always a cool dream. Like, ‘Be great to
have a bar some day.’”
Braun grew up in Connecticut and New York,
commuting between his divorced parents’ homes. His
father, Craig Braun, a Grammy-winning record sleeve
designer, helped Andy Warhol with the famous banana
cover for The Velvet Underground & Nico album and
came up with the Rolling Stones’ lips logo. But when
Nicholas was six Craig decided to train to be an
actor. Nicholas would tag along to his father’s auditions,
and this soon became a father-son project, with Nicholas
auditioning as well and becoming the more successful of
the two. He ended up playing a teenage superhero in
the 2005 film Sky High and became a Disney favourite,
starring in 2009’s Princess Protection Program alongside
Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. But when the Disney
Channel offered him his own show, he turned it down,
because quick teen fame was not his goal.
Back then, acting for Braun was mainly just a way to
be with his dad in New York and, most important,
to get out of school: “I f ***ing hated school. I was so
bored and I wasn’t, like, the best at making friends. It
just didn’t come easily to me, being an insecure young
guy,” he says with effort, still pained at the memory. It
didn’t help that he was always tall, making him stand
out awkwardly (his mother is 6ft 3in and his father is
6ft 1in). He half-heartedly went to college, but dropped
out, knowing now that acting was where his heart was.
Now, he says, he’s doing exactly the thing he should
be doing. Because like Greg, Braun is not as vague as he
initially seems. “Greg has a kind of faux naiveté, and
I think I do that too,” he agrees. But whereas with Greg
this is a trick to get more of what he wants — namely,
money and power — with Braun it feels more like
someone so stunned by his good fortune that he is
dealing with it by underplaying everything. Just a week
before we meet he got back from Sundance, where his
next film, Cat Person, premiered. He plays the pathetic-
slash-creepy male lead, Robert, in the film adapted from
Kristen Roupenian’s 2017 viral New Yorker short story. T-shirt, £75, Drake’s.
“Honestly, he’s not that different from general guys Jacket, £2,350,
in their thirties, someone who has never found love and Prada. Trousers, £815,
doesn’t quite know how do it. So I didn’t play him as a Loro Piana. Authentic
creep, but someone who is desperate to find a connec- shoes, £57, Vans
tion,” he says. Braun has also just sold a series to HBO,

20 • The Sunday Times Style

The Sunday Times Style • 21
 Polo shirt, £1,100,
Hermès. Jacket,
£1,580, and trousers,
£815, Loro Piana. Navy
coat, £3,120, The Row

Grooming Jennifer
Brent using Boy de
Chanel. Local
production Rosco
Production

which he is writing, about an indie band in the early
2000s. On top of that, this summer he will direct and
star in a film that he has written and is planning to
come to London to be in a play. As a side project he
writes songs, one of which — Antibodies (Do You Have
The) — went viral during lockdown. It’s quite annoying
that you’re doing all this and are still only 34, I say.
“It’s not happening quick enough for me,” he says,
and there’s a sudden flash of Greg’s secret inner steel.
Greg is seemingly an innocent who turns out to be
(possibly) a schemer and Braun is the low-key hipster
who turns out to be the busiest man in town, so much
so that he has even inspired a sex toy: the “Greg the
Egg”, which vibrates every time Braun speaks on screen.
“Oh God, I forgot about that,” he says, seemingly all
flustered, and then makes that sheepish grin again, and
once again I don’t entirely believe him. ■
Series four of Succession starts March 27 on Sky Atlantic
and Now

22 • The Sunday Times Style

 The broadcaster
Clara Amfo’s mother,
Grace, doesn’t hold
back on her opinion
of her daughter’s
clothes – and her
comments have
made her an unlikely
social media star. On
Mothering Sunday
they discuss why they
agree to disagree
Photographs Jade Reynolds-Hemmings
As told to Roisin Kelly

‘Anything two centimetres

above the knee and
Mum’s not impressed’
Last month I wore a Princess Di revenge-inspired black
velvet dress by Bradley Sharpe to the Brit awards. I loved it,
so as per, I sent a quick snap to my mum on WhatsApp.
Mum texted me back: “Your black dress is OK, but too short.
Wear midi ones.” A typical response from her, which I shared
on Instagram.
About five years ago I started posting Mum’s text
responses to my outfits. People found them as funny as I did,
and now nine times out of ten people tell me that they only
scroll through my outfit posts to see her reactions. Someone
commented on a recent photo of me at a friend’s birthday
saying, “Every time I see you in an amazing outfit, I just know
X-Pression hair. Make-up: Yasmina Bentaieb using Lancôme
super-short or has loads of cleavage, we both giggle
knowing it’s going to wind up my mum.
Mum has always had a say on what I wear; she has
never been afraid to express her opinion. As a kid I’d argue
with her on Sundays about my outfits for church. We’re
Ghanaian, so church is a huge part of our culture and you
have to look your best. Mum always wanted me to look
pristine and feminine. But I’m the only girl in my
family and I have four brothers. As a teen I wore a lot of
menswear — baggy, oversized trousers and jeans paired
with crop tops — and oscillated between that and dressing
super-girlie in tiny skirts and tight tops with shoes I couldn’t

that your mum is going to have an even better text with her walk in. I used to sneak out of the house without Mum
Hair (Grace only): Shamara Roper using Shine ’n Jam and

critique” — and they’re right.
And I can’t always win with midi lengths either. I chose
the most beautiful, bright yellow Vivienne Westwood corset
dress when I hosted the Bridgerton premiere last year. Mum
approved of the colour and the shoes, but I got a long, long
message about the slit being too high and the neckline being
too low, and a request for me to “have a chat with the lady
who helps you to select clothes”.
That “lady” is Shirley Amartey, my stylist and one of my
best friends. Mum knows her too. Shirley’s very aware of
Mum’s feedback and luckily takes it with good humour.
Whenever we do a custom piece for an event and it’s
clocking my outfits; I knew she’d have something to say if she
saw what I had on.
There are old family photos of Mum when she was young,
and guess what? She definitely used to love a short skirt! It’s
funny because now the thing that makes her maddest is how
short my skirts and dresses are. Anything two centimetres
above the knee and she’s off. But my legs are my favourite
feature, so while I’ve got them I may as well get them out.
Mum has definitely got a bit of a reputation since I started
posting her WhatsApps on Instagram. A lot of the young
British designers I work with say they want a message from
her about their clothes. They’re as excited by her disapproval

The Sunday Times Style • 27

 as they are by her approval. People keep telling me she should
be a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but I don’t think the
queens would be able to handle it!
Yet sometimes she surprises me. For a Baftas afterparty
last month I wore an electric-blue skintight panelled dress by
Georgios Trochopoulos. I thought it would be a strong no
from Mum because the panels were see-through and I was
only wearing a bra and knickers underneath, but she loved it!
Electric blue has always been one of her favourite colours, so
that was lucky.
Even though we can be so different, I take a lot of fashion
inspiration from her. Bright colours and good tailoring,
which I love, are a huge part of Ghanaian culture. I always
remember this amazing green suit with big circles on it that
she wore when I was little; my dad bought it for her when he
was working overseas. These days she takes some inspiration
from me too — when she comes to stay for a weekend she
usually leaves with a pair of my trainers.
What I love about Mum’s messages is that they’re
completely real reactions. She doesn’t want to be a social
media star, but her messages are just so funny, I feel
compelled to share. Some people have taken it too seri-
ously and messaged me on Instagram, like, “Oh my God,
are you OK?”
I promise, I’m fine. I’m very loved by this kind woman
and it’s not doing anything to my self-esteem. I couldn’t
care less what anyone else says. If anything Mum makes
me more confident, because I come from greatness.
But am I going to listen to her opinion on my clothes?
‘Some of Clara’s outfits
Absolutely not. give me a bit of a shock’
Grace Amfo always has an opinion on her daughter’s
clothes — from crop tops to short skirts
Clara has always been stubborn when it comes to clothes.
I will never forget, when she was eight or nine years old,
she refused to wear a dress for her cousin’s first Holy
Communion. She wanted to wear her cargo trousers and
wouldn’t back down. We ended up leaving her at the house
with relatives and she missed the whole function.
My mother was a seamstress, so I’ve always had an appre-
ciation for bright colours, bold prints and well-made
clothes. I love that Clara has inherited that. I often buy
fabrics and then come up with my own designs and ideas,
which I share with my tailor in Ghana. Ghanaian textiles and
fabrics are so beautiful and rich; they’re a statement.
One of the best outfits I’ve ever seen Clara wear was a
‘Next time avoid suit by Lisou in copper, black and white, similar to a West
a low-cut front’ African print. I also loved the long black gown she wore to
‘Very nice, very present the Earthshot prize last December. It was so
elegant. My friends elegant and loads of my friends complimented that dress.
said well done’ Some of her outfits, though, give me a bit of a shock. I find
myself wondering if she wears some of those skirts and
dresses just to retaliate against me. Clara always says that
I used to wear short skirts, but that was when I was young,
‘Great style but the maybe 18 [Clara is 38]. I pray that she will change her mind —
dress is too short’ she can’t dress like this for ever.
‘Looks good on you.
I told you that long I’ve always had opinions on Clara’s clothes as she’s my
dresses suit you!’ only daughter, but I feel a lot stronger about it since she
has been in the public eye. Sometimes I think she doesn’t
know how to choose well, so I’m just trying to steer her in
Getty Images

the right direction. I’m protective of her. At the end of the

day it’s only my opinion. Whether she’s going to listen or
not, I won’t stop. ■

28 • The Sunday Times Style

 Make mine
a mangle
Forget Connell’s silver chain – the
new jewellery must-have is the man
bangle, says Jessica Diamond
Men’s jewellery has come a long way fast.
In a world once dominated by “gap yah”
beaded bracelets and, at the other end of
the scale, those bank-busting Shamballa
diamonds adored by Jay-Z, the average man
— somewhere in the middle of those two
tribes — would perhaps have worn a
wedding ring at most. A flashy watch was as
close as it got.
But things are changing. From silver
chains (blame Normal People and Paul
Mescal aka Connell) to souped-up wedding
bands, men’s jewellery is more popular than
ever — with brands such as Annoushka,
Messika, Otiumberg and Alison Lou adding
dedicated men’s lines to their collections.
Even Zara and John Lewis are doing a
roaring trade in this category, with dog tag
pendants and nickel stud earrings among
the most popular pieces.
Not quite ready for — steady on — an
earring? The man bangle, or “mangle” as
we’re affectionately calling it, could be a
tentative step into embellishment. “Men’s
jewellery is spreading its wings,” says
Murray Clark, senior style editor at British
GQ, who has seen the bracelet surge in
popularity among his readers. “It took
decades for the single wedding band to find
a mate in Connell’s chain but the evolution
has hit warp speed as guys start to experi-
ment with other pieces, like the bangle.”
The jewellery brand 7879 (named after the
Getty Images
atomic numbers for platinum and gold) has
seen a 30 per cent rise in sales of its cuffs
in the past seven months alone. “All our
1 3
2 £2,110, 7879.co.
From left Austin
Butler, Timothée
Chalamet and
Micheal Ward have
all added mangles to
their red carpet looks
jewellery is designed to be gender neutral,
with 40 per cent of all purchases being
made by men,” says Sach Kukadia, 7879’s
co-founder and CEO. Mr Porter has also
reported record sales in bangles and brace-
lets, with Le Gramme and Buccellati among
the most in-demand brands. More affordable
mangles are available from Monica Vinader
(Gareth Southgate is a fan) and Mejuri,
which has a range of chains, bracelets and
more, with prices starting at £58.
Meanwhile, for the Gen Z man who has
everything, Tiffany & Co has launched its
first all-gender collection, with the Lock
bangle its star piece. Alexandre Arnault,
executive vice-president of product and
communications for the brand, describes it
as a collection that’s “meant for everyone”.
The Lock has a padlock-inspired design
that’s utilitarian and chunky but suitably
precious and thus perfect for the red carpet.
Michael B Jordan, the rapper Bad Bunny
and the actor Ncuti Gatwa were among the
first to wear the Lock in public. A peruse
of his Instagram confirms that Brooklyn
Beckham, a longtime fan of a mangle, also
has a number of Locks in his collection.
4 1 Reflect ID bangle, £445,
georgjensen.com.
2 886 cuff, £785,
886.royalmint.com.
3 Bullion cuff, from
4 T-bangle, £235,
tateossian.com.
5 5 Oscar bangle, £140,
alicemadethis.com
Other most wanted mangles include
any by Louis Vuitton, which, under the crea-
tive directorship of Francesca Amfitheatrof,
has gone all out on the style. Highlights
include pieces using coloured polyamide cord
mixed with a gold clasp in the shape of the LV
initials. Even the high-end jeweller Chaumet,
traditionally known for its tiaras, has entered
the game with its Liens Évidence bracelets,
showcasing a more graphic, pared-back style.
The question is then: how to wear yours?
And do you have to have the rock-star atti-
tude of Bad Bunny and the bank balance
of Beckham to pull off the mangle? “Men
wear bracelets differently from women,”
says Maxim de Turckheim, senior buyer of
luxury watches and jewellery at Mr Porter.
“They wear theirs tighter to the skin so they
don’t jangle and move about.”
The mangle, for Clark, is a good choice
for a man looking to experiment with his
jewellery collection. “It’s punchier than a
basic ring, but not quite as noisy as stacks
of DJ Khaled chains. The bangle gets it
just right, and brands like Éliou, Bleue
Burnham and Allison Bryan are doing so
many cool things to hit every checkpoint on
the wearable-to-WTF scale.”
For a lesson in restraint, look to Austin
Butler at the Golden Globes, with a white
gold Cartier Juste un Clou bracelet peeking
out from his cuff, or the actor Micheal Ward
wearing a yellow gold Cartier Love bangle
at a Bafta party. But for the ultimate boy-
bangle moment see Timothée Chalamet in
sleeveless tailoring, a Juste un Clou on one
wrist and a Panthère de Cartier bracelet on
the other — a sign, if ever we needed one,
that this accessory has arrived. ■
@thediamondedit
The Sunday Times Style • 31
 CHERCHEZ
L’HOMME
As a child she found
inspiration in her father’s
wardrobe, and now Isabel
Marant, the queen of
French cool, has returned
to her first love –
menswear. Just don’t
expect any suits,
she tells Karen Dacre
A few hours before I am due to meet
French fashion royalty Isabel Marant, I find
myself admiring her outfit in the street.
The 55-year-old designer is walking with
purpose through Paris’s 1st arrondissement
when I spot her with her signature ash-
coloured hair swept up in a bun, sporting
a perfectly cut pair of dark-wash jeans and
a plaid jacket from her menswear line (I’m
familiar with it because it’s sitting pretty
on my wish list).
I’m delighted to get a glimpse of her:
Marant is every inch Parisian chic and to
see her in her natural habitat is, I imagine,
how it was to see Vivienne Westwood
stomping up the Kings Road or Gabrielle
Chanel smoking on Rue Cambon.
A few hours later, when we sit down
together with a coffee at her company
headquarters, I decide not to mention our
chance encounter. Instead, I break the ice
by telling her how much I love her jacket.
“For me, a good shirt, jeans and a nice
feminine shoe are the essentials,” she says,
in an accent that is unquestionably Parisian.
To a generation of women who wouldn’t
dream of shopping anywhere else for their
cigarette-cut jeans and biker jackets, Isabel
Marant is a cultural icon who is as essential
to contemporary Parisian life as overpriced
hamburgers and en terrasse dining. Indeed,
32 • The Sunday Times Style
This picture Jumper, £495,
jeans, £260, and hat, £160.
Above Jacket, £555, shorts,
£295, and top (around waist),
£195. All Isabel Marant
creating clothes for women who seek that
just-fallen-out-of-bed breed of effortless
style is her modus operandi.
But it’s actually menswear that is Marant’s
real passion. At the age of ten, with a haircut
inspired by Patti Smith, she knew the clothes
she wanted to wear didn’t exist in the shops
and started digging around in her father’s
wardrobe for inspiration. “That love of men’s
clothing has never left me,” she says.
“There’s something about the fit that
changes the way I feel, the way I walk.”
In recent years, menswear has become
a professional concern too — the brand
launched its first menswear collection in
2018 and has two standalone men’s stores
in Paris, with plans to open more in London
and New York.
“It is so refreshing to design for men after
all these years,” she says, “and it came very
naturally because all my male friends were
already wearing the womenswear.”
Men (and women) shopping Marant’s
brand can expect to find overshirts,
excellent denim and a sweatshirt in every
colour of the rainbow, but absolutely no
sign of a suit — “tailoring is not my
interest”, she says. There’s also a plethora
of prints, from playful florals to more
abstract motifs. “I’m not interested in
the clothes men wear to work in a bank
or go to the office, but in wearable,
comfortable and realistic clothes that are
also unmistakably modern.”
It helps that men are more adventurous
than they have ever been when it comes to
their wardrobes. “Gay men pulled the rest
of the guys up,” says the designer. “Before,
it was normal for a man to think that if he
wore pink he was dead. We’ve moved on
from that now.”
In her youth Marant worked in a clothing
store to fund a shopping habit that included
Comme des Garçons and Maison Margiela.
Alasdair McLellan
After leaving school, she studied fashion at
the Parisian design school Studio Berçot
and did stints with the design teams of
Chloé and Yohji Yamamoto. In 1995, after a
few failed attempts at going it alone (she
had a jewellery line and a knitwear label that
she created with her mother), Isabel Marant
the brand was born.
During her formative years, Marant lived in
the Paris suburb of Neuilly-sur-Seine and now
resides in bohemian Belleville with her
husband, the accessories designer Jérôme
Dreyfuss, and their son, Tal. With the
exception of her husband, with whom she
regularly swaps clothes, she’s unexcited by
French men’s style.“Honestly, I think Parisian
men look quite boring, their style is so
conservative. It’s not adventurous. I find men
in London and Berlin far more inspiring.”
This influence is apparent in her designs.
Marant menswear has a casual, sporty edge
that appeals to men who want clothes that
are practical as well as on the money in style
terms. And while it pains her to admit it,
‘I think Parisian
men look quite
boring. I find
men in London
and Berlin far
more inspiring’
sweatshirts, hoodies and caps bearing her
brand’s logo are among her bestsellers,
particularly in the US, where the brand is
emerging as a men’s fashion must-have.
“The logo has always been a bit of a
problem for me. I started doing them to
make fun of the logo mania that was
happening elsewhere in fashion at the time
and now it has stuck. I never wanted to make
fashion for people to show off how much
money they have in their bank account.
Fashion shouldn’t be about social position,
it’s about procuring a feeling of happiness.”
That happiness doesn’t come cheap.
A Marant sweater will set you back about
£400 and a baseball cap £160. But the
designer is the first to advise caution to
anyone putting their hand in their pocket
for one of her products. “We should resist
being greedy. Happiness does not come
from buying many, many things but from
choosing something you really love. I’ve
always been inspired by clothes I know
I would wear and love for ever.”
There’s a philosophical side to Marant.
Over the 45 minutes we’re together, our
conversation segues from discussing her
disdain for “most” men’s shoes to her
new-found appreciation for ceramics.
I am also surprised to hear that Marant
— whose company is majority-owned
by the private equity firm Montefiore
Investment and took £260 million worth
of sales last year — is an advocate for the
four-day working week.
On Mondays, the designer tries to avoid
emails and instead focuses on crafting
sculptures and vases from clay. “I find that
it allows me to concentrate on something
fully and completely in a way nothing
else in my life allows. Ceramics
have become a sort of meditation
for me,” she says.
Happiness is solitude for
Marant, who spends her
weekends away from the
hustle of Paris in
Fontainebleau. “I don’t really
enjoy when people recognise
me in the street,” she says. (I’m
suddenly very glad I stayed quiet
during our earlier encounter.)
Marant undoubtedly has the
aloof, Parisian attitude down pat.
But she is warm too, erupting
with laughter when I ask her
if her son wears her clothes.
“He would rather die than wear
anything with my name on it,”
she says. “He has nothing, not
even a T-shirt, because he thinks
I’m devastatingly uncool.”
I beg to differ. ■
isabelmarant.com
The Sunday Times Style • 33
 Clockwork orange
The time is right for a citrus shade
Fifty Fathoms 70th Anniversary Act 2:
Tech Gombessa in titanium on a rubber
strap, £24,700, Blancpain

Cutting it fine
Time for a fresh start? From do-it-all navy to zesty
pops of colour, these spring watches make a wise investment
Photographs Andy Barter Watch director Jessica Diamond Set design Maya Linhares-Marx
In the navy
Match your timepiece to your favourite
jumper — blue is the new black
From left Code 11.59 in steel on a leather
and rubber strap, £21,800, Audemars
Piguet. Portugieser Chronograph in
stainless steel on a rubber strap, £7,600,
IWC Schaffhausen. Montblanc Star
Legacy Nicolas Rieussec Chronograph
in steel on a textile strap, £6,700,
Montblanc. De Ville Prestige in steel
on a leather strap, £4,200, Omega

The Sunday Times Style • 37

 Hell for leather
In chocolate brown and camel,
these easy-to-wear watches are
perfect for everyday use
From left Shot 3 Hell for Leather
Historiques Cornes de Vache 1955
in steel on a leather strap, £41,800,
Vacheron Constantin. Annual
Calendar Travel Time Ref 5326G-
001 in white gold on a leather strap,
£63,330, Patek Philippe. Pilot
Majetek in steel on a leather strap,
£3,500, Longines

38 • The Sunday Times Style

Silver service
A showstopping watch
in steel or titanium will
never go out of style
From left Air-King in Oystersteel,
£6,250, Rolex. Classic Fusion
Original Titanium on a rubber
strap, £7,100, Hublot. Pelagos 39
in titanium, £3,850, Tudor
 Precious
cargos
Combat trousers have made a return to the
wardrobes of fashionable men everywhere
– and no, you won’t look like a member of
a Nineties boy band, says Simon Chilvers

Like pashmina scarves and Reebok Classics, cargo This picture White
pants are a fashion phenomenon that comes loaded with slim-fit cargo trousers
connotations. A style signifier of sorts, the trousers — £46, zara.com.
distinguished by their boxy side pockets — have a repu- Above left Tapered
tation for being the top choice for sensible outdoorsy cargo trousers, £395,
types (dog walkers and hiking dads). They’ve also got Thom Sweeney,
previous among a certain type of football-shirt-clad Brit mrporter.com
abroad, who wore cargo-style three-quarter-length trou-
sers as a badge of honour.
This season, though, they’ve found themselves firmly
back in favour — with fashion types and beyond. Indeed,
the cargo has emerged as a go-to trouser style that could
be as essential to your spring wardrobe as a good pair of
jeans. As proof, they’re all over the shops, with everyone
including M&S and Zara jumping on the trend.
So who wears them well? Look to the Twilight star
Robert Pattinson, who fronts the latest Dior campaign
wearing a tailored pair of cargos and a casual pair, in
grey and black respectively. And then there’s the
halterneck-wearing red carpet flirt Timothée Chalamet,
who has also given combats a leg-up. The actor chose a
pair of camouflage Celine cargo shorts, styled with
hefty boots, to promote Bones and All at the Venice Film
Festival last September. Other fans include The White
Lotus’s Adam DiMarco, who in his depiction of the
adorably hopeless Albie regularly plumps for a shorts
version of the style.
For the average fashion-cautious man, Brad Pitt circa
1999 and David Beckham, who wears his with a navy
crewneck sweater, serve as more palatable ambassadors
of this trouser style. Bradley Cooper and Ben Affleck are
also fans, while the Formula One champ turned fashion
peacock Lewis Hamilton likes his big and boxy and
wears them with an anorak.
The trousers are being backed by a roster of
designers, including Rick Owens (leather, voluminous)
and Brunello Cucinelli (tailored), while for autumn/
winter 2023 you’ll find them at Giorgio Armani (who
showed at least ten pairs in his collection) and the
London-based buzz brand SS Daley (which had styles
with a lieutenant’s pocket).

40 • The Sunday Times Style

 They’re selling too. “Cargo trousers are absolutely Left, from top
having a moment,” says Damien Paul, head of menswear John Boyega,
at Matchesfashion. The fashion retailer notes a sales Ben Affleck and
hike of more than 35 per cent compared with this time Lewis Hamilton
last year for the trouser style. Paul references Prada’s
nylon version and cotton styles by Manastash — a
Japanese outerwear brand originally established in
Seattle in the 1990s with a focus on sustainability — 1
as key examples.
On the high street, Zara is backing the look with
both casual utility versions and more tailored styles,
while Marks & Spencer is keen to make cargos “a
style hero” this season. “Versatility and hybridisation
form the foundations of a modern man’s wardrobe,”
says Oliver Campbell, menswear buying lead at M&S.
“Having pieces that span smart and casual, desk to
dinner, occasionwear you can dress down with knitwear
— the cargo style answers that brief.” Not surprisingly
those in khaki and black are among the key styles.
Undoubtedly, practical menswear, along with fleeces
and hiking boots, has found itself in favour for several
seasons now. “We are juggling through uncertain times,
so we want to feel safe, protected by our clothing,
and a lot of pockets indicates we can use these pants 2
for something,” says Herbert Hoffmann, creative
director and head of buying for the menswear
news and shopping website Highsnobiety.
For the Israeli designer Hed Mayner, who regu-
larly includes cargos in his repertoire, the success
of the cargo is linked to power. “There is some-
thing about the function, something
strong, a vibe. It changes the way you
walk,” he says, dialling in from his ‘Versatile pieces 3
office in Tel Aviv. He likens this
trouser style to a backpack because that span smart
of its functionality: “I started looking
at carpenter trousers, which I love, and
and casual,
which my father, who was a metalworker, desk to dinner —
always wore. His were not fancy ones like
Carhartt or Dickies, just basic.” the cargo style
As somewhere to store your car keys, answers that brief’
office security pass et al, the cargo makes
plenty of sense. But how on earth to wear
them without looking like you’re channelling Damian
Lewis in Homeland? The stylist Jason Hughes, fashion
director of Wallpaper, says it’s all about finding a
grown-up way to wear them. “Going clubbing in the
1990s cargos were the trousers of choice. Then you 4
would wear them with trainers and a T-shirt. Today
it’s about taking them out of a casual context and
adding an element of subversion — I like to team
mine with a tailored jacket and cowboy-style boots.”
If you’re looking for a more cautious approach,
Edit Helen Atkin
I won’t steer you to a David Hockney-approved pair
of black Crocs (though these would be good). Teaming 1 Khaki cargo
your cargos with plain, chunky-soled black boots will trousers, £260,
suffice. Up top, keep it simple with a grey crewneck knit cpcompany.com.
or a roomy T-shirt from somewhere like Arket. 2 Beige trousers,
Trainers are an acceptable combat pairing too. £56, weekday.com.
Indeed, for Elgar Johnson, editor-in-chief of the 3 Navy trousers,
football/fashion magazine CircleZeroEight, they’re £160, gant.co.uk.
essential. “You should absolutely use the pockets, you 4 White cargo
Getty Images

should style them with sneakers and go for a loose fit,” trousers, £50,
he says. “Leave the tighter-fit style to those in the army.” zara.com
How will you wear yours? ■

The Sunday Times Style • 41

 Shop with Style
What our features editor Priya Elan loves this week

PICK ME

2
Dad-cap fans
everywhere can
unite and snap up
this cheery hat with
a daffodil design
from the label

1
Chateau Orlando,
launched by the
artist Luke Edward
Hall. Hall also makes
Spotify playlists to
accompany your
chapeau, for you
to wig out to.
TOP FOR ALL
£86, chateau
SEASONS
orlando.com
The weather can be
harder to predict
than a toddler’s
mood — so what
better way to make
sure you are
covered than with a
long-sleeve polo
shirt? From the
supercool Swedish
brand Arket, this
blue version is
perfect for looking
smart in the office,
doing the school
pick-up — and
lushing it up in the
pub. £69, arket.com

3
PALM SPRINGS
I often get dry skin
and need all the
help I can get. Enter
Bulldog Original
Hand Cream,

4
crammed full of
TIGHT FIT aloe vera, camelina
A great belt can make or break an outfit. oil and green tea
Think Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad extract. It’s not
and the Ugly and Richard Gere in American greasy or sticky and
Gigolo: classic silhouettes anchored by promises to keep
utilitarian belts. Well, here’s another one, mitts moisturised all
with a crocodile effect that will zhuzh up day. Win-win.
even the most boring pair of trousers. £5, bulldog
£125, russellandbromley.co.uk skincare.com

42 • The Sunday Times Style

 6
BAG OF FUN

7
For those of us who will never
get to see the permanently
sold-out Yayoi Kusama show at
Tate Modern, here’s the next best
thing: her incredible collaboration
with Louis Vuitton. This backpack
with embroidered faces all over
it is driving me dotty with joy.

5
£3,600, louisvuitton.com
ZEST FOR LIFE
I’ve been a big fan of the
label A-Cold-Wall* for a long
time: cool clothes with a
social message. So it’s a joy
to discover its founder,
Samuel Ross, has teamed up
with Acqua di Parma for a
limited edition release of its
PERFECT FIT citrussy Colonia scent,
Seasons change — and so do styles of sunglasses. We’ve packaged in three vibrant
attempted the teeny-tiny-lenses look (made our heads shades partly inspired by the
look enormous), the face-encompassing mega glasses sun. Smells like fun times!
(made our heads look tiny) and now these (make our heads £186 for 100ml EDC,
look … just right?). From £95, bloobloom.com acquadiparma.com

SUEDE STAR

10
If you’ve watched

8
the must-see
dystopian drama
The Last of Us you’ll
know that the
true breakout star
is a suede jacket
(sorry, Pedro). This
one from Mango
is an excellent
dupe — slightly
oversized, with
handy extra-large
pockets. £200,
mango.com

BUDDY-BUDDY
With their orangey hue, these
Bluetooth earbuds are not for
wallflowers, but the sound is
excellent: just as good
for pumping out
Lou Reed as they
are Liv.e. Truly
earmersive stuff.
9 PLANTS! BUT MAKE THEM FASHION
With the rosette having dominated the red carpet this awards
season (hello, Zendaya), it’s time for the style set to get themselves
a horticultural version too. And the fluoro rosette in the middle of a
David Newby

WF-C500 bromeliad is not even the best bit: it’s a very low-maintenance
earbuds, £59, houseplant, so perfect for those of us who aren’t able to keep
Sony, currys.co.uk domestic foliage alive longer than a week. £35, bloomandwild.com

The Sunday Times Style • 43

 ‘I’m always being
told about my
mum and what she
meant to people’
Bobby Brazier was just five when his mother, the reality TV star Jade Goody, died.
Now 19, he’s becoming a star in his own right, finds Laura Craik
Adults don’t tend to take life advice His mother was, during her own
from teenagers, but on the way home short life, one of the most famous
from interviewing Bobby Brazier I order women in Britain after appearing, in
one of the books he mentioned as 2002, on the third series of Big Brother,
having changed his life. Maybe I can where her lack of general knowledge
become as Zen as the 19-year-old (she thought Cambridge was in
Brazier, who doesn’t watch TV despite London) was ridiculed by many. None-
appearing on it four times a week by theless, upon leaving the show Goody’s
dint of playing Freddie Slater in East- charisma led her to become the first
Enders. What does Brazier do with all British reality TV star to make a million.
those endless hours the rest of us She was with Jeff Brazier from 2002 to
expend in front of our screens? He 2004 and they had two children, Bobby
meditates. (who made his first public appearance
Whatever anyone’s preconceptions at less than a month old on the cover of
might be about Bobby Brazier, model, OK! with his proud parents) and his
actor and older son of Jade Goody, Brit- younger brother, Freddy. Goody died in
ain’s most famous Big Brother contestant, Bobby photographed for OK! 2009, when Bobby was five, losing her
and Jeff Brazier, TV presenter, they are magazine with his parents when life to cervical cancer, a tragic ending
unlikely to have included that he would he was just a few weeks old that no one saw coming for the ebullient
be a devotee of Taoist-like principles, 27-year-old. Thousands of fans followed
rising at 5am every day to contemplate his id.“Sometimes my her funeral service outside the church in Essex, while health
life becomes surrounded by meditation, and every day is one services reported a surge in the number of young women
big meditation,” he says. “And other times I get wrapped into requesting smear tests after she died.
living through Bobby Brazier.” Does Bobby remember much about Jade? “Not a whole
But you are Bobby Brazier, I say. lot. Maybe memories of memories. I’m always being told
“I’m not Bobby Brazier,” says Bobby Brazier. “Bobby about her and what she meant to people. I guess I know my
Brazier is a role and a body and whatnot. And I’m the mum through other people’s memories of my mum.”
awareness of that.” She was very well loved, I say, and had an excellent
So I’m not Laura Craik? personality. “Right,” he beams. “Thanks, Mum, for giving
“No, you’re the awareness of the thoughts of Laura.” me your amazing personality and your beautiful face.”
That does my head in, I say. He does have a face Michelangelo wouldn’t have tired of
He smiles beatifically. “There’s a lot of peace and love and painting, which, coupled with his height, led him to be
joy to be found in it.” talent-spotted by a model scout aged 16, en route to school.
It would be easy to mock Brazier’s spirituality, which This was a private school, incidentally, which he disliked
started during lockdown, not least because his attempts to and which he declines to name (he has previously said that
transcend the ego don’t preclude him from dressing in his background made him feel like “a bit of a black sheep”).
head-to-toe designer labels when we meet in a studio in east The school allowed him to sit his GCSEs but didn’t accept
London. But that would be unfair and unkind. We are all him into sixth form, and he decided not to take on A-levels.
on a journey, and I have nothing but respect for Brazier that For Brazier’s first modelling job he was flown to Milan to
he has ventured down the path of spiritual enlightenment walk in a Dolce & Gabbana show. His first acting job has
at an age when most teenagers are still necking ket. But been similarly fortuitous. With zero experience he audi-
Brazier has had an unusual life. tioned for the part of Freddie Slater last year, making his

44 • The Sunday Times Style

Photographs Buzz White
Styling Helen Atkin

Cashmere tank top,

£850, Connolly. Jeans,
£170, 7 for All Mankind

The Sunday Times Style • 45


first appearance in EastEnders in September. He clearly loves
it, and raves about his castmates who are all firm friends. Did
he feel pressure joining the cast of such a well-known show?
“There were nerves,” he grins. “But I always knew that when
an opportunity like this came up I’d deliver.”
Brazier’s career trajectory, however, did include a couple of
years of doing very little after leaving school at 16, which is
when he started his journey of self-discovery. “For two years
through corona I got away with not doing anything. I did an
apprenticeship [in social media], left that, played football,
but had a lot of time to sit with myself. That’s when I started
to meditate, to look at myself and think, ‘Right, this isn’t who
you are.’ It’s gradually been a process of letting go and going
deeper into my heart space. It’s been a real journey and will
continue to be.”
He speaks with the piety of the heavily therapised, but says
he has never had any. “There’s a difference between therapy
and spirituality. For me spirituality is the therapy above
therapy. People will probably not grasp what I’m saying,
but it makes sense to me. I think I’m a healer. I’m more of a
healer than I am an actor or a model. I feel like people are put
through certain things and given certain traumas because
they’re ready for it, and can heal through it and then heal
other people. That’s where I get all my fulfilment from.”
Most people don’t speak this unguardedly in interviews,
because age and experience have taught them not to expose
their vulnerabilities, and media training has taught them not
to voice any thoughts or opinions that might be mocked or
misconstrued. That Brazier speaks so honestly reminds me
that he is his mother’s son even more emphatically than his
appearance. Yes, he is the spit of Goody. But he also shares her
nature. That he has inherited this despite her largely being
absent from his life to shape it is a riddle for the geneticists.
Of course his mum’s experience of celebrity was a mixed
bag: Goody was loved but also vilified, especially after her
46 • The Sunday Times Style
shocking racist comments towards the Indian actress
Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother in 2007. “I’ve never
really thought about her experience of fame,” Brazier says.
“I think to assume that anybody’s experience of fame is
glamorous, or that it will make you whole or happy, is silly.
It might make some things better, but because of that it’ll
make other things worse.”
It didn’t put him off working in the public eye, but maybe
having your early childhood documented by the tabloids
makes fame seem inevitable. “Maybe because of that, and
my dad, and how he’s parented me with the awareness that
I’ll go down this route, I’m very clear on what it may entail.
So it does feel normal, but I don’t feel famous. There’s levels.
I don’t see mid-level fame as famous, you know, like a reality
star or something like that. I’m not famous until I’m a movie
star or Leonardo DiCaprio or someone.”
Does he have anything to say on the subject of nepo
babies? “Good question,” he smiles. “Simply put, what good
is an opportunity if you can’t deliver? I really believe in my
abilities. So thank you, Mum and Dad, for the opportunities
that may come my way. But I can thank me for the belief in
myself, and my dad for giving me the belief.”
He also believes that the universe will provide. “I believe
in the power of asking and believing in that which will
provide. That’s how I’m going to get everything I want.”
Does he believe in God? “I believe that God, the universe,
whatever you’d want to call it, are the same thing. Aware-
ness is eternal. So we don’t die. My mum doesn’t die. We
pass on the body like we change clothes, so no one really
dies. They just leave the body that we had an attachment to.”
Does he think his mum is still on the Earth in some form?
“The Earth, the universe or somewhere. Maybe as a guide,
maybe as an angel, maybe as a teacher, maybe as a protector.”
The Braziers are a close family. “He’s good,” says Bobby of
Jeff. “He’s very strong, my dad.” His 18-year-old brother is
“sweet, caring and funny. But he’s got things to work out.
He has a nature to self-sabotage, like I did. Growing up is
hard. School is hard. The belief that more of something
is going to make us anything more than we are is hard —
more followers, more likes.”
As for who Brazier likes at the moment, he doesn’t want
to say. “I’ve spent the last 13 days with someone,” he laughs.
“I can’t do 13 hours with someone usually before I start
getting bored. That’s why I’m laughing. But she’s not my
Below Bobby, centre, with his father, Jeff, and
brother, Freddy, 2020; on the catwalk at Dolce
& Gabbana autumn/winter 2020 show
 This page Silk
and cotton jumper,
£980, Giorgio
Armani. Jeans, £890,
Brunello Cucinelli.
Loafers, £640,
Gucci. Opposite
Vest, £185,
Dolce & Gabbana

Grooming
Chris Sweeney
using Malin + Goetz.
Model Bobby
Brazier at Unsigned

Get to know Bobby Brazier in

60 seconds at thesundaytimes.co.uk

girlfriend. I don’t know if I’m ready for a girlfriend. I’m the studio he’s mobbed by a large group of women,
scared that I’ll let someone down or do something wrong in wedding guests at the venue next door who want a selfie.
Getty Images, OK! Magazine, @jeffbrazier

a relationship, and when there’s an added pressure it feels
too overwhelming. When something becomes serious
I can’t deal with it. Even modelling or work. Why? Let’s just
be present. My relationship with people is so beautiful until
we start thinking about the future or the past. How we feel
now is all we need to worry about.”
That and his increasingly large and fervent fanbase.
“I enjoyed that,” Brazier says when we’ve finished
speaking, sounding surprised. Within seconds of leaving
“He’s f***ing beautiful,” says one, as if he isn’t standing
right next to her like an amiable labrador in Gucci.
I stop to take a photo of them taking a photo. “That never
happens, I promise,” he laughs as they disperse. He had better
get used to it. The universe has plans for him. With genes on
his side, God in his heart and Goody guarding over him, the
only way is up. ■
EastEnders is on BBC1 and iPlayer

The Sunday Times Style • 47

48 • The Sunday Times Style
 Chuck in the chintz
Lemons? Florals? Patterned wallpaper? Nothing is too much for the
LA home of fashion designer Johnson Hartig, says Katrina Burroughs

Photographs
Laura Resen

For Johnson Hartig, the Los Angeles-based creative behind

the fashion line Libertine, too much is nowhere near enough.
Known for their exuberant patterns and clashing colours,
Hartig’s designs have attracted famous fans including Mick
Jagger, Martha Stewart, Beyoncé and Taylor Swift. He
famously traded clothes for art with Damien Hirst. Karl Lager-
feld and Anna Wintour were among his earliest champions.
When first summoned to the Vogue offices to show his collec-
tion, Hartig suffered a fit of nerves and said to Wintour: “I’ve
had a lot of anxiety about this meeting. If you could please tell
me how much you like the clothes before I show them to you,
it would be enormously helpful.” (She laughed and has been
a supporter ever since, last year inviting him to contribute
design ideas for the Met Ball.)
Hartig’s home in Hancock Park is decorated in the same
Portrait: Paul Costello

witty pick and mix of styles and eras that informs his fashion.
The interiors evoke, in no particular order, American folk art,
Gloria Vanderbilt’s 1970s quilt room, Piero Castellini’s house
in Milan and English country house decor. Why such a manic
historical mash-up? “I’ve had this experience with a shaman

Right The designer Johnson Hartig with some of his art

collection. Above On the dining table is a tablecloth in Hartig’s
Le Citron fabric for Schumacher. Opposite The living room has
a palette of red, purple, turmeric and baby blue. The armchairs
have slipcovers in Proust’s Lilacs, another of Hartig’s designs
 and did this microdosing of mushrooms, and she said I have
lived 10,000 years. There’s a lot there I’m dealing with!”
The three-bedroom, 100-year-old house, where he lives with
his two rescue dogs, Flower and Radish, is called Basket Case,
named for his vintage American basket collection. “I was the
only person who saw it. The previous owner and me talked
plants and flowers for two hours. It was really meant to be.”
When he bought it in late 2019 much of the building had been
untouched since the 1980s, and Hartig was preparing to tackle
a lengthy refurbishment. Then, a few weeks after he moved in,
along came Covid-19. Gifted with unprecedented quantities of
free time, he had Basket Case completely redecorated within
six months.
In fact, the makeover hasn’t stopped, and probably never
will. “I switch things around in my house very quickly and
come home forgetting I’ve done it, and I love being caught by
this surprise.” Does he DIY? “It’s all I do! On a daily basis! In
the grotto room [the dining room], I entirely sponge-painted
all the window frames first, then the shutters, then the ceiling,
then I started sponge-painting on the wallpaper [his own
Plates and Platters print for Schumacher]. That wallpaper on
the chest of drawers [in the second bedroom] is Scotch-taped
on. I often say if I were on a desert island and could only have
five things, Scotch tape would definitely be one of them.”
Most recently he changed up the decor once more
with wallpapers and fabrics from his second collection with
Schumacher. As a collaborator, Hartig is in great company.
In the past, Schumacher prints have been designed by

Elsa Schiaparelli, Dorothy Draper, Cecil Beaton, Josef Frank

Above The dining room is papered with Plates and Platters
wallpaper, a Hartig design for Schumacher. The designer
sponge-painted the window frames and shutters himself
during the pandemic. Top The bathroom walls are covered
in Hartig’s Le Grand Tour wallpaper in English Green
and Frank Lloyd Wright.
Hartig’s papers and fabrics are surprisingly traditional:
flowers and fruit and architectural patterns. He says: “I like
really classic things, really high-minded things, but I also
appreciate having things one wouldn’t normally consider
sophisticated mixed in.
“I like nothing better than a classic Nancy Lancaster room or
Sibyl Colefax [known for their traditional British interior
design]. Those are the rooms I grew up looking at and that’s
kind of in my DNA, but I like them a little more junked up than
pristine.” Hartig is an anglophile with a penchant for a stately
home. “About 15 years ago I did this tour with the Attingham
Trust of country houses in Yorkshire for ten days. I remember
that like it was yesterday and it had such an effect on my eye.
My parents always told us that we were German and Polish,
but a few years ago I did a DNA test and I came back 75 per
cent English — and it just made sense.”
Though his home has a stupendously decorative interior,
Hartig says it’s really all about the view. The kitchen, on the
ground floor, looks out over a vista of greenery. He planted
45 trees in the garden when he arrived, including sycamores
and liquidambar trees, podocarpus and crepe myrtles. “All you
can see is the trees. It doesn’t feel like LA in the slightest.” In
the same room his woven wicker baskets hang from the ceiling,
on display after more than a decade in storage. “I lived in my
last house for 15 years, which was more clean and streamlined,
with white-painted floors and walls and contemporary art. This
look [Basket Case] was always in my heart. Whenever I was at
flea markets or antiques shows I’d buy these baskets and stash
them in the garage.” When he moved to his Hancock Park
home, the baskets came out of the closet.
Among Hartig’s most prized possessions is an oversized
bottle of Chanel No 5 in the bathroom, a memento of his
friendship with Lagerfeld. “Back in the day he’d come to our
studio and buy every single piece of Libertine, and I’d see
the whole Chanel crew. We’d stay at the same hotel, the

50 • The Sunday Times Style

Left This guest bedroom is decorated with Hartig’s
Architecturra wallpaper, while the curtains are in his Hotch
Potch Crazy Quilt fabric. Below Flower, one of Hartig’s rescue
dogs, in the master bedroom. The walls are covered in
hand-painted Italian Promenade wallpaper by Iksel. The
design was extended onto the ceiling by an artist

Mercer in SoHo [New York] — me in a little tiny room and

him in an enormous suite. I remember taking him a bag of
clothes up to his suite, and I walked in holding my little dog
under one arm, complaining about an achy back, and he said,
‘Oh would you like to take a bath?’ His assistant came out
and said, ‘I hope you like Chanel No 5, we’re drawing you a
bath.’ The next day he had this big bottle of Chanel No 5
delivered to my room!”
The main bedroom is Hartig’s favourite spot. His own
Proust’s Lilacs fabric has been made into a bedspread, and
vintage Colefax and Fowler fabric covers the bedroom chairs.
Hartig commissioned an artist to extend the spectacular Iksel
panoramic mural wallpaper of a forest onto the ceiling “so it
feels like sleeping in the most sublime exotic treehouse”.
The dogs lie around his head at night and he falls asleep
looking up at a canopy of painted treetops. “I can’t think of
anything that makes me more happy than to walk into my
bedroom at the end of a long day — I love it so much.” ■

The second Johnson Hartig for Libertine collection for Schumacher

is available at fschumacher.co.uk
 HELP!
I’ve lost my
signature scent
What do you do when the aftershave you’ve worn for years is suddenly
discontinued? Create a bespoke version, says Nick Carvell

52 • The Sunday Times Style

 There are few fragrances that have had
such a profound effect on me as Hermès Eau
de Narcisse Bleu. I was introduced to it in
the mid-2010s while working at a men’s
magazine; the scent was fresh with woody
roots, and its blue smoked glass bottle
quickly became a permanent fixture in my
grooming cabinet. Spraying it on to my skin
not only felt like diving into a pool while the
sun beat down in the balmy French
countryside, but also reminded me of the
excitement I felt during that time in my life.
“There’s a more direct connection between
the nose and the emotional areas of the
brain than for any of the other senses,”
says Professor Charles Spence from the
University of Oxford’s Department of
Experimental Psychology.
Sadly, I discovered recently that the scent
is being phased out over the coming
months. I still have two and a half bottles left
(I bought two when I heard it was being
discontinued), but what do I do when it
finally runs out?
This isn’t the first time I’ve “lost” my scent.
At university, my nights out in Soho were
misted with Jean Paul Gaultier’s amber and
vanilla masterpiece Gaultier2 (discontinued
in the mid-2010s, but relaunched last year),
while at school I was obsessed with the
now-defunct Crave by Calvin Klein, a fruity,
sporty citrus that came in a distinctly Y2K
white plastic bottle with neon-orange accents.
Turns out I’m not alone.“Crave was the
first fragrance I wore as a teenager,” says the
artist and interior designer Luke Edward Hall.
“I loved it.” Meanwhile the BBC broadcaster
Huw Edwards was a fan of Lacoste Original.
“I wore it as a student in France back in the
early Eighties and it still brings back the buzz
of that time when I smell it,” he tells me.“I do
miss it and have managed to find a few
deodorant sticks in recent years for a decent
price, but the cost of an unopened vintage
bottle of the cologne today is ridiculous!”
So could I find something to fill the Eau
de Narcisse Bleu-shaped hole in my life?
I booked a fragrance consultation with Azzi
Glasser, the founder of the scent studio the
Perfumer’s Story.
Since 2001 Glasser has made a name for
herself working with A-list actors to develop
not only personal scents, but also character
fragrances that help transform them into
their roles. In her studio at the back of her
north London townhouse, Glasser allows me
to experience a couple: Mad Hatter, made
Fernando Gomez/Trunk Archive
for Johnny Depp’s role in Alice in
Wonderland, smells of oozing lemon drizzle
cake, while C, worn by Douglas Booth in the
Mötley Crüe biopic The Dirt, was formulated
to have the same chalky, chemical, clean
scent as cocaine. Not the type of thing you’d
find in the aftershave cabinet at Boots.
“The fragrance industry tends to focus on pipette-topped bottles, she asks me all
notes, but for me it’s all about getting a manner of questions that get into the
fragrance that really matches who you are,” nitty-gritty of my life: what are my favourite
Glasser says. To make something that really films? What sort of clothes do I like to wear?
feels personal, she believes there’s another We talk about my year abroad studying in
key element. “We all have two personalities, America, my honeymoon in Italy and,
one that you portray to the outside world, weirdly, even the intricacies of how to
and the other you only really share with ensure pancakes don’t stick to the pan.
those closest to you. My job is to bring those Glasser offers two services: one is bespoke,
two together. It’s very psychological.” when you create a scent from scratch over a
As I sit down with her in front of a tray of series of sessions with her (this costs from
£15,000). The other is when you have a
one-on-one at her studio and she matches you
Stand-in scents for to one of her existing scents.“Can you bring
through Tuscan Suede, please,” she calls to
your old favourites her assistant, believing this to be the best fit
for my personality.
GONE CRAVE When the bottle arrives (£98 for 30ml
BY CALVIN KLEIN EDP), I’m immediately hit by the fresh, soft
(2002) This popular floral notes of violet and jasmine, as well as the
early Noughties wood that echoes Eau de Narcisse Bleu.
scent had a citrussy, Rather than swimming in the French
aquatic vibe. countryside, this scent conjures up the
TRY EROLFA BY CREED refreshing heat of the sultry, late Italian
(£185 for 50ml EDP) summer, instantly transporting me to the
is a similarly place where my husband and I went on
sun-drenched honeymoon three years ago. It took what I
substitute. loved about the excitement of who I was in
my mid-twenties, remixed it and effortlessly
GONE PORTRAIT BY PAUL anchored it to the most special event of my
SMITH (2013) With mid-thirties — a new signature for an exciting
pink peppercorn, new chapter in my life. It was perfect.
cardamom and Glasser is not the only person offering
bergamot, Portrait personalised scent making. Jorum Studio,
refreshed like founded by the Scottish scent-maker
a G&T. Euan McCall and his partner Chloe
TRY UNNAMED BY Mullen in Edinburgh in 2019, has a full
BYREDO’s (£185 for bespoke service (from a not-to-be-sniffed-at
100ml EDP) gin and £4,500) where you can develop your
floral notes are a custom fragrance over a six-month period
cool alternative. with monthly in-person or virtual
consultations and sampling.
GONE LACOSTE Meanwhile for a slightly broader range of
ORIGINAL BY LACOSTE services (starting from £550) there’s Floris.
(1984) This ballsy Based in the same shop on Jermyn Street,
Eighties scent was London, since 1730, the house provides
dominated by personalised scent services that range from
woods and citrus. a one-off customisation workshop to a
TRY COLONIA CLUB six-month bespoke consultation. Your own
BY ACQUA DI PARMA secret recipe will be recorded in the leather-
(£87 for 50ml bound Floris ledgers for you to reorder.
EDC) creates a Online and considerably cheaper (from
similar clean, £32 for 8ml EDP to £125 for 30ml) is the
barbershop vibe. Scent Designer service from Experimental
Perfume Club, where you can create your own
GONE CUIR OBSCUR concoctions from the comfort of your sofa.
BY BYREDO (2016) Simply select your top, middle and base notes
A unique mix of from the menu, name your formulation and it
rose and leather. will be posted to you (along with a sample size
TRY SMOKE SHOW BY of your fragrance and two alternatives to try
VILHELM PARFUMERIE before you buy).
(£185 for 100ml As for my new favourite, Tuscan Suede,
EDP) dials the rich fingers crossed it stays in production until at
smokiness up to 11. least my mid-forties. ■
The Sunday Times Style • 53
 The beauty spot
From a handy new app to a skincare saviour – acting beauty director
Phoebe McDowell has everything you need to know this week

PHOEBE‘S PICK
1 Balletcore
Loewe Aire
Sutileza and Solo
beauty?
Ella perfume duo Sure!
Fragrance layering, The hyper-feminine
otherwise known as aesthetic that infiltrated
wearing two scents wardrobes (pumps, tulle
at once, sounds skirts and wrap cardies)
excessive, I’ll admit. has now hit make-up bags.
But this duo from For cheeks Fake post-pas
Loewe is too good de deux flush with Nars
to miss. The pear The Multiple in Orgasm
and jasmine in Aire (1 £31.50), the cult
Sutileza mix with peachy-pink blusher now
the bitter orange, available as a cream-to-
peach, cedar and violet powder stick. For eyes
in Solo Ella to make an Sweep & Other Stories

AKRIS
endlessly exotic and Eye Colour Cream in
enticing scent. £158 for Moonbeam Magic
50ml EDP each, (2 £17) across lids, or dab
perfumesloewe.com on the inner corners for
2 luminosity and lift.

Wellness-on-the-Wold …
fashion’s new favourite fitness club
Is being swaddled in towels and sloshed with oils not your thing? Prefer sweating and squats
— all with a healthy dose of luxury thrown in, of course? Then consider a trip to the Cotswolds
to try the new Club by Bamford. Part of the Daylesford estate, it bears all the hallmarks of the
upmarket wellness brand but with a focus on fitness. As well as your average (very high-tech)
gym and a 25m indoor pool, there’s cryotherapy, SkiErg cardio machines and a padel space —
the tennis-squash hybrid that Becks, Roger Federer and Elle Macpherson have been making
a racket about (sorry) — while in the outdoor training area you can climb ropes and flip tyres
against a backdrop of rolling countryside. Then, after all that, why not head across to the spa
for a pressure-perfect massage, or the Club’s restaurant for a bowl of chicken broth? Collagen-
infused, of course. The Club by Bamford, joining fee from £500, plus £325 membership fee a
month (or £3,500 a year), Escape to the Farm membership from £2,250, bamfordclub.com

Scan your skincare

Ever found yourself standing in Boots,
wondering what “clean” means, whether
*insert unpronounceable ingredient* will
irritate your skin, disrupt your hormones
and/or harm the planet? Download Yuka,
scan the barcode of a product (either in your
beauty or grocery basket), et voilà — details
of what’s in it are at your fingertips. Results
in various categories range from risk-free
(green dot) to hazardous (red dot), giving you
Imaxtree

all the info you need to make an informed

decision about what you’re buying.

The Sunday Times Style • 55

 India Knight
This SPF 50 sunscreen works as a foundation too and
can even colour match your skin tone. Magic!

Snow is forecast as I write, but never mind that — it is

spring, and that means sunscreen. Sunscreen is boring,
there’s no getting away from it. But like many extremely
boring things, eg housework, it is important.
For me the main problem with sunscreen, which I am
slightly inconsistent about wearing, is that I hate the feeling
of having too many things on my face. The warmer it is, the
less I want to wear, so the idea of having layers of product on
during a hot day is borderline repulsive to me, almost claus-
trophobic, because I feel like my skin can’t breathe. The older I get, the more I can’t bear
heavy make-up, either to wear or to look at. It’s on the up, heavy make-up — layers and
layers of gunk, either because people are young and insecure and feel they need to
“correct” their imaginary “imperfections”, or because people, even quite old ones, want to
look like a creepy Instagram or TikTok filter. The problem in both cases is that you’re always
going to be a disappointment to yourself with your make-up off, and that is a hopeless and
depressing way to live your life. Especially if you’re 15. Make-up is supposed to be fun, like
sprinkles on a cake. It’s not supposed to fuel a lifetime’s worth of insecurities.
Needs must, though, with sunscreen, because if you spend any proper time in the sun,
not wearing it eventually turns you into leather (especially on the upper chest — never
forget the upper chest!). So I am happy to report that I have found what seems like a
genuine innovation to me, namely a sunscreen that you can wear all by itself and that evens
out your skin so magically there is no need for tinted moisturiser, foundation or whatever.
Obviously this also makes re-application a cinch, because you’re not smearing everything
around. It’s by Colorescience and it’s called Sunforgettable Total Protection Face Shield
Flex SPF 50 (£32.50). It is light and comfortable to wear, and is a really good sunscreen
that also contains antioxidants and stuff to keep your skin hydrated. But there are lots
of good and cheaper sunscreens around (if this sandwiching make-up malarkey doesn’t
bother you, I recommend the Anthelios range by La Roche-Posay). What makes this one
noteworthy is the uncanny and technologically impressive way it adapts itself to your exact
skin tone, effectively turning itself into a light-coverage foundation. It only comes in four,
basic-looking shades but have faith, and if in doubt go for the slightly lighter one rather
than the slightly darker.
On the skin, the product colour matches itself to your complexion perfectly. I know,
weird. But it works. I like this version, which is semi-matte, but it also comes in a matte-
matte version, and in one that you apply with a brush. There are also various glow products
with SPF 50 if you want extra shine, but I don’t so I haven’t tried them. ■ @indiaknight
It evens out
your skin so
there’s no
INDIA LOVES need for tinted
BUY Have an excellent high street mascara too, while I’m at it — namely, L’Oréal Paris
moisturiser,
Victoria Adamson

Telescopic Lift mascara (£13), the one in the black tube. It is very good. I like its thin brush,
which really gets the product on from root to tip, but I like its impressive lengthening
effect even more. This one also adds curl, so it’s perfect if you have straightish lashes. If
foundation or
they’re curled already, go for the normal Telescopic in the gold tube. whatever

The Sunday Times Style • 57

 Dear Dolly
Your love, life and friendship dilemmas answered
by Dolly Alderton

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I love him deeply and truly believe that he is
a good, kind and genuinely caring person. He treats me wonderfully and makes me happier than
I have ever been. However, when he drinks heavily he sometimes gets carried away. When he has
had a few drinks he can be rough. Sex sometimes ends in tears and, more recently, I find that he
does not always respect consent. Even if I exclaim in pain or say no, he continues. He eventually
stops if I make enough of a fuss, but it upsets me when it happens. When I have mentioned it to
him in the past, the response has been a bit of a shrug. While I appreciate that this sort of
behaviour is not really excusable, he’s of an older generation that I suspect grew up with quite
different conversations and attitudes towards sex and consent, and I want to cut him some slack.
I don’t feel I can talk to any of my friends about it, because I don’t want to colour their opinion of
him, but I’m not quite sure how to address it in a non-accusatory and nonjudgmental way.

It always shocks me to know how many isn’t OK is to engage in these practices

women have to have this conversation
with their partner. On more than a few
occasions female friends have told me
about how their otherwise respectful,
loving boyfriend has drunk too much and
got “carried away” during sex, resulting in
a disregard of their desires or even consent.
When they confront their partner about it,
most of the time he is mortified and apolo-
getic and promises that it will never happen again.
Some have told me that they have been met with defen-
siveness, indifference or confusion about why it’s such a
big deal. I think this is because, when a man wants to opt
out of difficult conversations about misogyny, he will lean
into literalism as much as possible as his defence. In your
longer letter you describe how your boyfriend is confused
by the fact that sometimes you want to engage in certain
sex acts and other times you don’t. The first question
I think you should ask yourself is whether you want to be
in a relationship where you have to explain nuance, spell
out what it is to be a woman, quantify your feelings for
them to be taken seriously and express your pain until it is
deemed sufficient enough to be believed. I’ve been in rela-
tionships like this and, honestly, I don’t care how fantastic
the man is in every other way, I’m never, ever, ever doing it
again. I’d prefer to be single for the rest of my life.
There is a dichotomy in your problem, because you say
this man treats you wonderfully, while also giving exam-
ples of (what sounds like) brutality. It is a mistake to think
that how someone treats someone sexually is separate
from how they treat them in every other way. By which
with a person who hasn’t consented to
them or is expressing discomfort or pain.
This says something serious about him
that cannot be counterbalanced with his
other assets as a boyfriend.
The fact of his age is also not any sort
of contextualising comment for his behav-
iour unless he was born in 635BC. I know
older men who have managed to grasp that
bringing a woman to tears through a sex act is not a good
idea. And even though the conversations on this subject
may well have evolved a lot in his lifetime, this shouldn’t
be seen as primarily a political matter, it’s a personal one.
At its most basic level, before we even get into the gender
complexities and power dynamics at play here, you are a
person who is asking to be respected and feel safe. If he
cannot respond to that in a way that is instinctively
humane — again, I don’t want to freak you out — I think
that says something pretty fundamental about him that
shouldn’t be ignored.
I also don’t think it’s good to use his maleness to excuse
his lack of understanding in this area. The majority of men
get this. They’re not great big, clumsy toddlers or wild,
uncontrollable werewolves or enthusiastic Great Dane
dogs who don’t know their own strength. They, like us, are
more than capable of clear communication and consent.
I appreciate your love for him and your efforts to be
nonjudgmental. And I understand why you wouldn’t want
to speak to your friends for advice. Thank you for trusting
me, as I know this wouldn’t have been an easy thing to do.
I don’t write this lightly, and I’ve really considered every
Alexandra Cameron

I don’t mean that unless a man is lighting candles and word of your longer letter when I say: please leave this
touching your face and playing Norah Jones during sex he man. This is not something you have to try to change or
won’t be a nice man. It’s OK for someone to be into rough accept about him. You’re free to leave, your options are
sex or indeed any kind of (legal) sex they like, but what limitless and you deserve better. ■

To get your life dilemma answered by Dolly, email or send a voice note to deardolly@sundaytimes.co.uk or DM @theststyle

58 • The Sunday Times Style