The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children’s Psychology | 2023

The Negative Impact of Parental Divorce on Children’s Psychology

Authors :
Ihsan Mahesa Putra¹st, Rizki Albanani Zumar²nd , Tatu Zakiyatun Nufus
Psychology faculty of UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia

Abstract
Divorce in parents is a bad thing and results in children becoming victims of it, children will have a lot of
burden on their minds and problems in their psychology and behavior that should not happen to them. The
method used in this research is descriptive qualitative. The results we get from this research are that children
who come from divorced families will have problems such as increasing mental and psychological disorders,
difficulty socializing with the surrounding environment, and seeking pleasure in a bad way.
Keywords: Mariage, Divorce, Negative Impact

Introduction
The reason we chose the topic of this article is because we see the high number of
divorce cases in Indonesia, this results in the psychological condition of children being
disturbed. One of the goals of marriage is to form a peaceful and harmonious family because
in Islamic teachings, humans are created into nations and tribes by Allah SWT so that they all
know, love and love each other. Marriage is a sacred official bond between husband and wife
who are willing to live together. Marriage is a sunnah of Rasullulah SAW which is highly
recommended, Rasullulah said “Whoever has entered into marriage, means that he has
carried out perfectly half of the teachings of this religion, the remaining half should be filled
with piety to Allah”. (Hadith narrated by Hakim).

The role of both parents in fostering a household is needed for the psychological
development of the child, because no matter how independent the child is, the child also
needs a parent figure who can guide the child and provide sincere love. In the ark of
household life, surely every parent wants to have offspring, because with the presence of
offspring, household life will be tighter and more perfect, every family wants happiness and
harmony to envelop their lives. In Law No.1 of 1974 CHAPTER VI Article 30 states that

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husband and wife bear a noble obligation to uphold the household which is the basic structure
of society.

However, in married life there will always be tests and problems faced, if in married
life it is far from harmonious and even to the point of divorce, then the victims of the actions
taken by parents are children. Divorce is a break in the relationship between husband and
wife, this can cause fear and trauma in children because of the discomfort of their parents’
decisions and the child is faced with a different situation when their parents no longer live
together but they live separately.

Literature review
a. Definition of Marriage
The only legitimate sexual relationship in Islam is marriage, which is essentially a
religious institution regulated by Islamic law. Marriage is one thing that is extremely
intriguing if we look more deeply at the content of the meaning of this marriage dilemma,
as Islam has concluded that the only way to meet the biological demands of individuals
living only by marriage is through marriage (rahmatan lil ‘alamin). According to the
Qur’an, one of marriage’s goals is to bring serenity into ap person’s life for both men and
women. Islam prescribed marriage as the means by which a family can attain satisfaction
in life. Thus, the author of this piece examines the concept of marriage, its legal
foundation, as well as the vocabulary and beautiful wisdom of marriage that was advised.
After finding a life partner and being mentally and financially ready, marriage is one of
the phases in life that a Muslim can go through. By getting married, a person can perfect
half of his religion if he is capable and emotional.

b. Definition of Divorce in Islam

Divorce is a separation or breaking the relationship between husband and wife. In
Islam, divorce is allowed but not recommended because for Allah SWT divorce is
tantamount to breaking the relationship. Divorce can be a last resort if there is no more
way out. In Islamic regulations there are various kinds of divorce, namely:
Sunnah Talak

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In accordance with the rules of Allah and the Prophet, viz:

The husband only divorces his wife with one divorce when she is not menstruating;
however, after bathing in purity, the husband has not had intercourse with his wife. After
pronouncing the divorce, the husband leaves his wife alone and does not repeat the
declaration of divorce to her until the idah period is over. The husband can ask for
reconciliation during his wife’s waiting period. No permission is needed from the wife or
her guardian, no dowry, and no new marriage contract. However, if the wife allows her
‘iddah to expire, the husband must let her go properly, and the relationship ends. If he
wants to remarry her after the ‘idah period has passed, then there must be a new
agreement.
‫ِّلـَّلِذ ْيَن ُيْؤ ُلْو َن ِم ْن ِّنَس ٓاِئِه ْم َتَر ُّبُص َاْر َبَعِة َاْش ُهٍرۚ  َفِا ْن َفٓاُءْو َفِا َّن َهّٰللا َغ ُفْو ٌر َّر ِح ْيٌم‬
lillaziina yu-luuna min nisaaa-ihim tarobbushu arba'ati asy-hur, fa ing faaa-uu fa
innalloha ghofuurur rohiim
"Bagi orang yang meng-'ila istrinya harus menunggu empat bulan. Kemudian jika
mereka kembali (kepada istrinya), maka sungguh, Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha
Penyayang."
(QS. Al-Baqarah 2: Ayat 226)

1. Talak Bidah
Talak bidah is divided into two, the first is when a husband divorces his wife
while she is menstruating or postpartum. Secondly, a heretic divorce can occur when a
husband pronounces divorce to his wife three times either on one occasion or on non-
consecutive occasions. Many cleric agree that talak bidah is haram.

2. Talak Raj’i
Raj’I Talak: Raj’I divorce includes divorce one and two. The couple can reconcile
before the end of their iddah period.

3. Talak Ba’in
Ba’in Talak: This divorce prevents the husband from reconciling. Ba’in divorce is
divided into two namely:

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 The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children’s Psychology | 2023

Talak ba’in kubra: If a husband commits divorce ba’in kubra against his wife for
the third time, the husband may not reconcile and may not remarry before his wife
marries someone else, is divorced, and is divorced by both husbands.
Talak ba’in sugra: Considered a divorce that cannot be reconciled. However, the
ex-wife can be remarried with a new marriage contract and dowry. In addition, the ex-
wife does not need to marry someone else first.

In addition, the Prophet Muhammad has also emphasized divorce through his words,
‫ِإَّن َأْبَغ َض اْلَح اَل ِل ِإَلى ُهَّللا الَّطاَل ُق‬
Meaning: “Verily, the lawful thing most hated by Allah is divorce.” (HR Abu Dawud)

c. The influence of parental divorce on children’s psychology

Divorce is something that is not wanted by parents and children, because
divorce from parents causes children to become victims. Psychologically, parental
divorce can have a serious impact on a child’s mental health. Children of divorced
parents may experience an increased risk of mental health problems, behavioral
disorders, shyness, withdrawal, aggression, and decreased academic performance. The
child may also have difficulty processing emotions, feel confused, and tend to change
their behavior to become withdrawn or aggressive.
The child's mind also suffers from this, the child becomes unruly and feels the
loss of a figure who is a role model in his life. In cases of divorce, sometimes there
are children who blame their parents for the pain that arises from divorce. But there
are also children who blame themselves and assume that their parents’ divorce is due
to them. Children must be able to forgive their parents and themselves. For children
who are still in elementary school, the impact of divorce from their parents is a big
problem, because at this time the child should get love and attention from both parents
in harmony.

Methodology
The method we use in this research is descriptive qualitative method and the approach
in this research uses a type of research in the form of literature review. Literature studies can

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be done by collecting references consisting of several previous studies which are then
compiled to draw conclusions (Mardalis, 1999).

Result and finding

While conducting this research, the researcher found several findings regarding the
negative impact of divorce on children's psychology, as for some of these findings are as
follows:
• Increased risk of mental disorders in children
Children who experience divorce have a higher risk of developing mental health disorders
compared to children who do not experience parental divorce, these disorders can take the
form of anxiety or depression. This is due to uncertainty and changes in the family
environment which can trigger significant emotional stress in children.

• Difficulty in establishing social relationships with other people

Divorce can affect children’s self-confidence, causing distrust in themselves and isolating
themselves from their surroundings, they may find it difficult to establish deep
relationships or be afraid to open up to other people.

• Self Abuse
Some children who grow up in incomplete families usually seek attention and fun to
escape their stress through wrong paths such as promiscuity, consuming illegal
substances, and committing crimes.

The important thing that needs to be taken into consideration is that the impact of divorce
on children is individual, which means that each child has a different response. There are
other factors that can influence the negative impact of divorce on children’s psychology,
such as social support factors, parents’ approach to divorce, and the child’s abilities. Itself
to be able to talk about his feelings which can moderate the negative impacts that may
occur. Involving psychological support and providing a stable environment can help
children cope better with these challenges.

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 The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children’s Psychology | 2023

Conclusion

Every husband and wife have the possibility to divorce either because it is caused by
internal or external factors in the family that can cause the breakdown of harmonious
relationships in a family and result in family disunity to occur, this divorce can have a
negative impact on family members, especially on the child who will become a victim in the
family.
So the conclusion is children who come from non-intact families tend to have mental
and psychological problems. In this case, children cannot be blamed when they seek pleasure
in the outside world in their own way rather than with their father or mother in their
respective homes. It should also be emphasized that each child’s response is different in
addressing the issue of their parents’ divorce, external factors can also worsen the child’s
mental and psychological condition. Therefore, it is important for parents to provide
emotional support and facilitate open communication so that children can better cope with the
psychological impact of divorce.

References
Indonesia, P. R., & Bab, I. (1974). Undang-Undang Republik Indonesia Nomor 1 Tahun 1974
Tentang Perkawinan. Lembaran Negara Republik Indonesia Tahun.
Hasanah, U. (2020). Pengaruh perceraian orangtua bagi psikologis anak. Agenda: Jurnal
Analisis Gender dan Agama, 2(1), 18-24. ← Journal
Veronika, N., Azhar, P. C., & Sugma, A. R. (2022). Dampak Perceraian Terhadap Psikologi
Anak. Jurnal Berbasis Sosial, 2(1), 30-37. ← Journal
Laeli, S. (2023). DAMPAK PERCERAIAN TERHADAP PSIKOLOGIS KELUARGA
(STUDI KASUS DI DESA PAGERAJI KECAMATAN CILONGOK KABUPATEN
BANYUMAS) (Doctoral dissertation, UIN Prof. KH Saifuddin Zuhri Purwokerto).←
Journal
Azizah, R. N. (2017). Dampak Perceraian Orang Tua Terhadap Perkembanganpsikologis
Anak. Al-Ibrah, 2(2), 152-172. ← Journal

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