My Soulmate Found Me- The next generation) By

Mellisa Khoza

1- Sya
Aarg who could it be so early in the morning. I checked and it was my
mother calling me, she calls me at the same time everyday since I
moved to Johannesburg, I am doing my last year and the way things are
looking I might not graduate. I answered her call, "Sawubona ma." I say
in my sleepy voice. "Usalele Sya, what about class? it's a Monday my
goodness." I went out last night with my friends I was hosting at Konka
and we went hard I have a hangover and I will miss class today. "I have
a late class mama and I have a headache." I say I know she doesn't
believe anything I say.

Ma: Ngisilima yini mina wengane?

Me: Cha ma you are not.

Ma: I have been in your shoes just remember that. I want to remind
you that you need to be home this weekend we going to a thanks giving
in Richards Bay, your father will be in town Friday and he will pick you
up and I don't want to hear any excuses Mr. okay by now, you brother
wants my attention. She hangs up the phone, turned to my left and
there's a girl in my bed now this I don't remember she's dressed so am I
good we didn't do anything I will wake her up when I get back from the
kitchen I need some water, I got up used the toilet in the passage way
an went to the kitchen, AJ and Sthe are sleeping on the couch with girls
as usual. I took two bottles and a asprin and went back to my room,
shake this hun to wake up so she can leave.

"Hey, wake up." "Hmmm stop it" she says, "Yoh wake up." I shake a
little hard this time. "Dude okay, okay geez I am waking up." What I am
seeing I wasn't expecting it

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she has a crop top on and it has move up showing her round perky
boobs, beautiful boobs I must add. "Stop starring" I cleared my throat
and I passed her some water.
I'm Sya I didn't touch you and I don't know how you got here." I say.

"Hi I'm Letsatsi." She is beautiful, I have a thing for dark skinned huns,
she has big eyes and she these braids look good on her.

Letsatsi: We met at Taboo, my friend ditched us last minute and you

offered us a place to stay since we couldn't find a uber and you were to
drunk to drive, thank you for that and this. I am not hearing what she is
saying I am looking at her plumb pink lips and I imagine them on mine.
"Hey did you hear what I just sais?

Me: Huh yea no worries, glad I could help.

Letsatsi: Can I use your bathroom?

Me: Yea sure. She goes in my bathroom and I do my bed, I was taught
well okay, when she was done we went to the lounge where she woke
up her friends so they can leave, she asked if I could request for her
since her phone had switched off. I offered to take her home. She
leaves in Soweto and her friends she was with in Sandton, I parked at
the corner of the road she said her mother is a little strict if she sees me
it will be a problem, I did as she asked and drove off when she entered
the gate. I am on a call with AJ. "Dude who are these girls?"

AJ: Seipati's friends, Seipati from school man" he says I know who
Seipati is and she's been throwing herself to me since second year and I
have been mizing her, she's a bit to forward for my liking.

Me: I have never seen these huns before.

AJ: Nigga you have it just that you never spend much time in campus.
What's up?

Me: Nothing dawg, I am on my way back and I am hungry we should go

to kwamai mai.

I don't know what it is but I am taken by Letsatsi and I want to know

more about her. 2- Letsatsi
My mom is up already she is going to kick my ass today, she's at the
back hanging laundry, the house is already clean she knows I wasn't
home, I am in my bedroom when my sister comes in. I asked her to
cover for me like I always do but she didn't. "Why didn't you cover for
me?"

Lesedi: You where supposed to be here before mama get's back from
work. I rolled my eyes and she left my room.

I love my sister but she is a spoilt brat, we don't really get along that
much, we don't have the same father with my sibling, I am the oldest. I
don't know my father never met him before. My mother told me he left
when she found out she was pregnant at 22 years old and she couldn't
follow her dreams of going overseas to study art, she reminds me of
that every chance she gets she is a nurse at Bara hospital. I am doing
my second year in Bachelor of Arts in Digital Arts after I graduate I want
to be a 2D & 3D Graphic Artist and Animator, I love animation and
illustrations, I got a bursary to pay for my studies my mother had said
she doesn't have any money to pay for my fees. My sister well she's
taking a gap year since she is not ready to study just yet, my little
brother Letsego is still in high school and he is my best friend we do get
along very well. I need to go and shower and sleep before my shift, I
have a part time job as a waitress at Solo Sandton, with the money I
make it's for transport and some of the essentials that my mom doesn't
get me and I save my tips for when I move out. As I make my way to the
bathroom my mom calls out for me from the kitchen, this I am dreading
because I'm not sure what this brat said. "Dumela mma" I say
Mom: Dumela

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where are you coming from? I got back from work and you where not
here.
Me: I had a late shift at work like today, I had problem with transport so
I slept at Landiwe's at res.

Mom: Your sister didn't say that, Ha u sa robala lapeng hona joale

Me: It's not like that mama I promise I had work Lesedi bua maaka
mama. If my sister gets a chance to get me in trouble she doesn't
hesitate.

Mom: Lesedi fihla mona. She shouts.

Lesedi: Yes mother.

Mom: You sister said she was at work last night.

Lesedi: Letsatsi was out with her friends last night mama, look at this
picture. She is showing her a video on Seipati's Instagram stories I knew
right there and then that my sister doesn't like me at all and I don't
know why. I feel my cheeks are on fire, my mother just slapped me I
shouldn't be shocked I get these more often then not honestly, I can't
wait to graduate and move out.

Mom: Get out of my site, you think you are old enough now? if so I
want you out of my house.

She leaves me standing there with her precious daughter, I don't cry
anymore it doesn't help me one bit, I took my shower ironed my
uniform and went to bed after setting my alarm. I was busy scrolling on
Instagram and looking at yesterday's pictures and videos when I
spotted Sya, he was tagged on a post, I stalked his profile, he has a
beautiful family he has a picture with his mom and his siblings who are
still small, I wonder how old his mom is she looks young. There's a old
picture from when he was in high school that is captioned love of my
life with a heart next to it but what did I expect, a good looking guy that
drives a GTI single, never in this day of age. I logged out after texting
Landiwe what happened and I will see her before I start my shift. v3-
The beginning
Baba is in town he came a day early and will be crashing in my house,
good thing I cleaned after the mess we did Monday. I am leaving for
KZN for my grandparents thanksgiving, I have been missing home
especially my mom's cooking I have been lazy to cook lately and have
been living off take-aways. We having dinner at Solo, my mother made
reservations all the way in Durban. We got to the restaurant and are
shown where we will be seating, we are waiting for someone who will
assist us.

Baba: How is school son? First semester treating you okay?

Me: So far so good baba.

Baba: Your mom said you missed class.

Me: Mama overreacts, I had a late class on Monday. You know how she
gets.

Baba: She's worried about you we all are. I am starving kanti who is
helping us?

Me: I'm fine I promise. After my breakup with Amahle I didn't take it
very well, the plan was to study at the same University but that didn't
happen. We made a promise that we will wait for each other until we
both in varsity to have sex she did the opposite and got pregnant during
her first year, I was devastated I saw myself spending the rest of my life
with here, when WITS sent me a letter that I was accepted I grabbed
the chance with both hands. When my friends and I got here we partied
a lot and that's how I lost my virginity and I have never been in a stable
relationship.

"Good evening, sorry to keep you waiting, my name is Letsatsi I will be

your waitress, are you ready to order?" Whoe I didn't expect to see her,
I don't even see her at school and I have been attending.
Baba: I will love to have you lamp shank with veggies on the side and
one of your best wines please. Her eyes move to me and she is smiling

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she has a beautiful smile with perfect teeth. "Sya stop starring what
are you ordering ngilambile."
Me: I will have the same please and lemon water please.

Letsatsi: Okay great, should I bring the wine bottle now?

Baba: Yes and the water.

Letsatsi: Noted I will back shortly.

Letsatsi is thick, nice round ass, tiny waist and she's a bit short the
uniform she has on compliments her body I wonder how she looks
completely naked.

Babe: Stop starring at the poor girls behind Sya, intombi iyashelwa
mfana.

Me: Hawu baba, ngiyazichabangela nje.

I am a little tipsy off this wine and we are about to leave, baba went to
the rest room, I have asked for the bill and Letsatsi is standing in front
of me. "How have you been? You didn't get into trouble with your mom
that day?" I ask

Letsatsi: I've been okay you? No I didn't. You got home safe?

Me: Yea I did thanks. Here can I get you numbers? that's of you don't
mind.

Letsatsi: I don't know.

Me: Please I need someone to show me around town.

Letsatsi: Okay. she wrote her number on the slip.

Me: Thank you. I payed with hefty tip and my father showed up,

Baba: Thank you nkosazana for your service. She nods and leaves to
attend more customers. "Wahleka wedwa nje Sya what's going on?

Me: Lutho baba, I'm happy you are here that's it.
The drive home is filled with laughter Tendai is full of jokes when he
likes. I have sent a WhatsApp text to Letsatsi she hasn't replied. When I
got home I showered and jumped in bed. "Goodnight son", baba says.

"Hi, Sya right?" An hour later Letsatsi replies to my text

Me: Whoe so late?

Letsatsi: I just got home and my phone was off. How are you? by the
way thank you for the tip.

Me: I'm good, you got home safe?

Letsatsi: Yea I did thanks.

I don't remember the last time I texted with a girl until this late. 4-First
Date
Letsatsi and I spoke for hours last night I don't know when I passed out.
I have campus today so does she, baba said we will leave around 3pm
we taking the family jet, I will be back by than, I only have 3 lectures. It
looks like Letsatsi is going to make me attended all my classes,
hopefully. I will request since baba is using my car for the day. The
weather is perfect for shorts, basic white tee and I will wear my air
force 1 sneakers, my laptop and text books I will use and packed I will
grab breakfast when I get to campus. AJ and Sthe stay at res, they
usually stay her but since baba was home they decided to sleep over
there after a party we where invited to.

Me: Good morning baba.

Tendai: Good morning son, I am about to leave for my meetings should

I drop you off?

Me: No I will request, actually my Uber is already waiting for me. I have
a early class. Look at what you doing at me Letsatsi, I don't attend the
first class.

Tendai: Okay if you say so. Are your friends coming with you? you never
leave them behind.

Me: We spoke about it Sthe wanted to go to Durban but I will confirm

with them and let you know. Baba I will see you at 14:30 when I get
back.

Tendai: Alright bye.

I get into the Uber and I called Sthe, "Yoh dawg, I am going home this
today, baba is in town and we flying home."
Sthe: Okay cool what time are we leaving?

Me: After classes. Uphi AJ?

Sthe: He is still out of it, why are you up so early?

Me: I've got class and a breakfast date.

Sthe: Wena and dates? No wonder it's this hot, uhamba nobani?

Me: You will see. The traffic in Johannesburg is annoying one of the
reason I skip my first lecture, if I am being honest I surprise myself
when I pass that module but I really want to do better, my parents are
paying a lot of money. The ride was long I made it on time just before
my lecturer walks in. I just realized I have missed out on a lot and I need
to up my game but fuck I am living my best life. The lecture is over, I
need to call Letsatsi I want to take her out for breakfast she did say she
doesn't have morning classes but will be in campus around 10am to
submit an assignment. "Letsatsi Hi it's me Sya."

Letsatsi : Good morning Sya, how are you?

Me: I'm good. Where are you?

Letsatsi: Campus library.

Me: Okay cool I'm close see you soon. "Hey, I am waiting outside for
you." I say over the phone.

Letsatsi: Okay I'll be out in a minute I'm just packing up my things. She
comes out with her friends that she was with in my house and they
walk towards me. "Hey Sya, I'm not sure if you remember my friends
from the other night, this is Landiwe and that's Lerato.

Me: Hi ladies, nice to meet you

can I steal your friend for a minute? they agreed and we moved a bit
from them so we can talk. "Do you have anything going on before
classes?
Letsatsi: We are going to grab something to eat. Jackpot but how do I
ask this? girls come to me and I only approach them if I am drunk, I am
nervous.

Me: Okay cool, would you like to have breakfast with me? please. She
looks back at her friends and then me.

Letsatsi: I'll be right back. She says leaving me standing her and she
went to her friends, they're talking about something, Lerato is giving
me the eye while Landiwe is giggling, she hugs her friends and walks to
me. "We can have breakfast."

Me: Thank you. We are in one of my favorite cafe's near campus, I

used to study here a lot in second year, we are in Bean There café my
spot is free that's where we gone sit. "Thank you for agree to this."

Letsatsi: Oh, no worries. I have never been here it's cute I like the
aesthetic.

Me: Yea it's nice, great place to study too, should we order? she says
yes and we order breakfast and hot drinks. "What are you studying? are
you first year?"

Letsatsi: Bachelor of Arts in Digital Arts and it's my second year. You?

Me: Bachelor of Science in the field of Environmental Studies it's my

3rd year. Digital arts?

Letsatsi: Yea I wanna peruse a career in animation or gaming.

Me: That sounds like it's fun.

Letsatsi: It is honestly I enjoy being creative and making new things. Her
eyes are confirming what she says, you can see it that she's doing what
she loves. I use to be that way when I applied but after Amahle I have
forgotten about myself. "You don't look like a person whose into the
environment. I look at her and frown, "Not in a bad way, you look like
the type that's into account and stuff."

Me: I actually hate accounting, I am passionate about protecting the

environment and I desire to better the world, I'm working to be an
environmental engineer a good looking one. We both laughed, she's a
beautiful dark skinned women.

Letsatsi: Oh yeah? good looking nerd I see. We both laugh. "Look at the
time, thank you for breakfast I really needed this I don't remember the
last time I laughed like this.

Me: It's my pleasure. I have another class as well so we can go together

I'll walk you to class.

Letsatsi: Thank you.

After my classes I went to my friends place to go get them since we

leaving baba is waiting for me. I won't pack anything since I have
clothes back home. "Are you guys ready? baba is waiting for us."
AJ: Yea I'm all packed, since when do you attend all your classes on
Friday>

Sthe: He had a date and I want to know with who.

AJ: Awu nigga usushaya ama dates?

Me: Tsek wena, I'm taking things serious bru, I want to graduate I can't
be doing this another year.

AJ: So who is she? you don't do dates.

Sthe: I am worried actually.

Me: About what? they both are looking at me like nigga come on now.
"It wasn't even a date, Letsatsi and I just had coffee since we had
nothing much to do before class. Letsatsi from Monday morning.

AJ: Oh, Seipati's friend? I nod yes. "She's fine and thick, did you see that
ass?"

Me: Bruv!
AJ: You gone hit that?

Sthe: AJ really dude if he wanted to he would have done it after the

club and he wouldn't have taken her on a date.

Me: It wasn't a date and no I won't hit that. Letsatsi is hot and has a
banging body I wouldn't mind hitting that but like said there's just
something about her man, I can't explain it. 5- Home
It feels good being home, I have missed my mother and my siblings so
much. We arrived around 4pm and I have dropped my boys off and we
are about to drive to Richards Bay as soon as uncles and aunts get here.
I will go back to Jozi Monday night I don't have any classes, I will see my
father Lungisani then. Mom is in the kitchen she is packing a few of her
baked goods, Baba in his office and the triplets are asleep and Sbani is
gaming. "Mama" I say as I walk in the kitchen.

Mom: Hi baby are you packed?

Me: Yes I am all packed, do you need any help?

Mom: No pumpkin I'm all done. How's school? I have missed

Syamthanda.

Me: School is okay mama. I have missed you too. My mom has always
been my first love, she'll do anything and I mean anything for me and I
can't wait to do the same. I know baba is and I am grateful for her
husband but I want to spoil her rotten. I went over and hugged her
tight, I am a little emotional today, Durban makes me feel that way at
times

Mom: You really did miss he huh? but yini le ekudlayo baba?

Me: Lutho Ma, I just missed you. "Sya my wife is going to ditch me now
that you are back." Baba says walking in.

Mom: I haven't seen him in such a long time, wena I see you 24/7
hawu. Baba is sulking and I couldn't help but laugh,

I have seen my mom at her worst emotionally and ever since Tendai
came into her life she has been happy despite the tabulations they
faced at the beginning of the their relationship he makes her happy. My
emotions are similar to my mothers, when she loves, she loves hard so
do I and when I am hurt it really cuts deep and shut everyone out and I
lean to alcohol.

Everyone is here and ready to go we will be using two Mercedes Benz

V-class I am in the one with baba and my uncles, I can't deal with kids
especially now. I have my headsets on and I am listen to Drake minding
my business when baba passes me a beer. "What's wrong?" he asks. it's
easy to talk to him and uncle Sipho about my emotions and it's easy for
them to see it. Uncle Sipho is driving, uncle Themba on the front seat
and uncle Carl is on a work call. "Every time I come to Durban I am
reminded of what could have been."

Baba: Amahle? I nod yes and remove my Air Pods. I thought you said
you okay since you cancelled your therapy sessions.

Me: I am but it's just that little thing at the back of my head.

Baba: You know I am always available if you want to talk, Sipho and
Lungisani too if you feel like it's getting heavier for you. Partying and
drinking all the time and missing classes won't help you, you're a smart
kid I don't want you to waste your life over someone who couldn't
value it. You will get any girl you want when the time is right.

Me: How did you know about that? How did he?

Baby: I told you I will keep you safe didn't I? I am doing just that. We
have been driving for more then a 1 hour and we almost home I say
home because Mkhulu say's it's my home to and the Gcabashe
ancestors have accepted me as their own, I don't understand it either.
Gogo is the first to welcome us as usual, "Sya waze wakhula my baby
come give your granny a hug." I did as I was told, her hugs still warm as
ever.

Me: Sawubona gogo, uyaphila kodwa, uphi umkhulu?

Gogo: Ngiyaphila boy, usesibayeni. I went to baba's house and dropped
the bags.

We have slaughtered two cows for tomorrows feast my friends uncle

Tinashe and aunty Owami arrived on Thursday with Thingo. I have been
texted Letsatsi she said she has work again tonight and won't be on her
phone until late and she will text me when she gets home. I have
missed this a family dinner and chilling at the fire afterwards. Sbani is
siting next to me he his still clingy but I haven't been a big brother
lately.

Sbani: Bhuti I joined the rugby team at school

Me: Really and soccer?

Sbani:: I play that too, I play center but I want the fly-half position.

Me: How are you coping with both and school?

Sbani: I do cope, I am smart phela mina.

Me: I know and uma uthi uyahlupha wena eskoleni. Don't do that or
you won't come to Johannesburg during your June holidays. Do you
promise to do better?
Sbani: I will do better I promise.

Sbani is a handful but you won't see it when you look at him his very
quiet and disciplined. The ceremony beautiful and packed

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there was a lot of food and drinks I am still tired from it, we came back
last night. I took my mom G wagon and I drove to KwaMashu to my
father and my granny I don't remember the last time I was in the hood,
uncle Mfana is home I will see him before I leave. I parked the car
outside the gate, "Knock, Knock" I say getting inside the house, gogo is
in the kitchen.
Gogo: Aibo, Aibo, Sya wase ubamude kanje? waze wakhulu mntanami.
Banjani kodwa ekhaya?

Me: Hello gogo, ai gogo ngihlezi ngimungaka nje. Siyaphila.

Gogo: Ufike nini? othi ngikuthelele idrink.

Me: Friday, kade sise Richards Bay sabuya izolo ntambama.

Gogo: Okay mntanami, kusahamba kahle nase skoleni ngiyathemba?

Me: Yebo gogo, ubaba ukhona? bengikhulumile naye ngathi ngiyeza he
told me he won't go to work.

Gogo: Ngigcine ephumile.

Me: I will call him. I called my dad to tell him I'm home, he went to the
shops but is on his way. He arrived while I was with gogo watching TV

Lungisani: Sya mfana wami, ukahle?

Me: Yes I good how are you?

The relationship with my father has improved, after the Lindi situation
his been hands on and checking up on me, he apologized to my mom
and get along with Tendai and Sipho. He never got married and doesn't
have any other kids but me baba has made it sure he doesn't feel left
out with what's happening in my life.

Lungisani: Ngiyaphila nami. Kade ngikhuluma noTendai ekuseni

wangitshela about what has been going on with you lately. You see
what I mean? "I know it's not easy losing someone you thought you will
spend the rest of your life with them, I will tell you a secret, uyabo
umawakho she meant everything to me but because I was greedy and
still a boy I didn't see it until I lost her for good, she was my soulmate
but I wasn't hers. What I am trying to say is, your person is coming
when the time is right, focus on school and quite drinking like a fish
when you are supposed to be studying, kuncono uyazi how your mom
gets when it comes to school and we don't want to stress her about
what's happening. Angifuni ufane nami, I was chasing girls and I
dropped out of school, I have my life together now that I'm in my 40's I
don't want that for you, siyezwana?

Me: Yebo baba. I think coming home was the best decision I have ever
made. First thing is to delete pictures with Amahle on all my socials and
phone. It's time I move on with my life honestly.
6- Why Do You Hate Me
Things at home are becoming more difficult then I expected. My mom
has been threatening to kick me out now that my she is back together
with my siblings father, I don't know what to expect when I get home if
I am being honest I am a little scared, that man is dodgy with a capital D
he gives me the creeps. The money I had saved up to get my own place
I had to use it for a project, I am putting in so many hours at work so I
can replace the money I have used. Sya is coming back tomorrow from
Durban, we literally speak everyday which is new to me, I have tried to
date before and all those that I tried dating will either dumb or ghost
me because I am not ready for any sexual relations, that's right I am still
a virgin and I intend to stay that way for a long time. I think I like him
but I will ignore those feelings I need to sort my life out especially since
my stay at home is a mess. I am off today so I don't have work after
class. I am with Landiwe and Lerato in McDonald's having lunch before
we go home. Landiwe is my best friend we talk about everything and
everything and with Lerato we close but for some reason I can't open
up to her but I love her too. "So you and Sya?" Landiwe asks
Me: What about us?

Lerato: Come on Letsatsi, he took you out for breakfast and you always
on a call with him.

Landiwe: Yep don't forget about that smile she gets when she's texting
him.

Me: What? we friends trust me. I say smiling.

Landiwe: Yeah right look at that smile of yours but jokes aside chommie
he looks like a nice guy mos and you have been single for almost a year
now.

Me: He is nice but he doesn't like me like that plus you know how they
are Sya and his friends have drippled a lot of girls in campus.

Lerato: You right. Seipati has a crush on him too, so I say make a move
before she does.

Me: Hell no Lerato, trust me we are just friends.

We all laughed about the Sya situation and got back to the project we
had to complete. I am walking home from the taxi stop and I am
dragging my feet I hope my mother is in a good mood at least because
she's won't be to mean to me. I get home and I can hear there's a lot of
laughter we have guest I wonder who it might be. I got inside the house
using the kitchen at least they won't see me when I go into my room.
"Letsatsi", Aarg how did she me I'm in no mood for my mother's
episodes today. "Yes Mma" I say working to the lounge, she is with my
sister and her father and I instantly don't like his aura.

Me: Dumelang.

Kgolo: Dumela.

Mma: Dula fatše. I take a seat next to my sister, I am so uneasy for

some odd reason, my mother is full of surprises. Listen ke dear, ntate
oa Lesedi will be staying with us from now on and your brother will
need the bedroom that you using, he can't share with your sister.

Me: Where will I sleep?

Lesedi: We don't know but it won't be with me. I don't know why my
sister is like this honestly no matter how much I try to make our
relationship work she doesn't want it to.

Me: Mama.
Mma: I don't know, the floor or the couch you will make due ngoana,
go and cook.

I nod my head and go to my room to leave my bag so I can start

cooking, my brother is not back yet I will change the bedding when his
back. I am in the kitchen about to start with dinner I have bended over
taking out the rice from the bucket that's in the cupboard when I feel
hands on my ass, I quickly jump and hit my head when I look up it's
ntate Kgolo. "Ntate how can I help you?"

Ntate Kgolo: I don't need anything. You have grown Letsatsi, your body
is of a grown woman. I cleared my throat and moved back a bit I feel
tears in my eyes and my throat dry. "Don't be scared I won't do
anything to you yet." he winks at me before leaving the kitchen. I am
now scared in my own home where I should be safe, I am not safe
anymore and I will have to have both eyes opened. My brother walks in
as I am about to finish cooking.

Letsego: Hi sis it smells nice in here what are we eating.

Me: I made chicken and rice I am about to dish up, go and shower so
you can help me.

Letsego: Really? Hmmm my favorite.

While my brother shower's I changed the bedding, I will share a bed
with him until I find a better place to sleep, this room is small and I
won't be able to sleep on the floor. Sya is calling me I have been
ignoring phone calls since I posted that status on my WhatsApp. "Hi
Sya."

Sya: He Letsatsi are you okay? I saw your status and I have been trying
to call you.

Me: I'm fine, I was just watching a very sad movie.

Sya: Are you sure? you not lying to me.

Me: No I am not silly. How's Durban?

Sya: Durban is good but I can't wait to go back to my place, I love my

siblings but they are a lot. His siblings are so cute, so is he.

Me: That's so sweet

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I have to go my mother is calling me.
Sya: Letsatsi can I see tomorrow after class that's if you don't have
work. I smiled, a second date hmmm.
Me: Yeah sure see you then. I really have to go Sya bye. I dropped the
call before he could say anything.

Letsego and I are in the kitchen dishing up, he will take the food to his
parents. "Why am I using your room?" he says

Me: Your sister doesn't want to share with anyone and your father is
moving in.

Letsego: Mom told me and where will you sleep?

Me: I was hoping I could crash with you for today while I figure out my
situation.

Letsego: I don't mind sharing we will get to catch up, you haven't been
around lately. That broke my heart a little bit.

Me: Awu brother man, I'm sorry but work has been hectic and school
but I promise I will make it up to you tonight okay. We finished dishing
up and took the food and salads to the living room. I feel so out of place
right now, it's like I don't belong here I wonder where my father is I will
have to ask my rakgadi Nyakallo if she knows, she is my mothers
younger sister and we talk but she doesn't really know what happens in
this house, she got married and moved the UK when she got married.
"You will do the dishes when we done Letsatsi." My mom is OMG I can't
deal.

Letsego: Why doesn't Lesedi do it mma? Letsatsi cooked.

Mma: Because this is my house and it's my rules.

Letsego: But mama...

Me: It's fine I will do it. I got up and cleared the table and headed to
kitchen, my brother is also here helping me. So how's school?

Letsego: It's fine grade 9 is not that bad, I have a crush too.

Me: What? aren't you a little to young for crushes moena?

Letsego: No I am 15 what do you mean? We both laugh out loud and

my mom walks in. I rolled my eyes because she annoys me at this point.

Mma: You can't here that you making noise? Letsego your father is
calling you. He looks at me and leaves. "Why can't you do a simple thing
Letsatsi? why do you have to drag your brother to do your work and on
top of that you making noise.
Me: He wanted to help me mma, I am sorry for making noise.

Mma: Your days are numbered in this house I tell you. I don't know
where I got the confidence to ask but I did.

Me: What did I do to you mama? why do you hate me? Okay maybe
hate is a big word but it sure does feel that way. She grabbed my harm
so hard an pulled me towards her.

Mma: You ruined my career that's why. Finish up and go to bed, I want
to bond with my family. So I am not part of her family then I see. She let
go of my arm and walked out, after washing the dishes I went to
shower, I cried in the shower I can't believe her, she could have aborted
me rather than blaming me. I sent a text to Landiwe letting her now
what just happened, she suggested we look for a flat that we can share
together, it's something to I will have to think about. I decided to text
rakgadi and ask if she knows my father's family. She called me back so
quickly.

Rakgadi: Letsatsi my baby how are you?

Me: I'm okay rakgadi, how are you?

Rakgadi: ke lokile babe now tell me what's wrong, why are asking about
your father?

Me: I am tired rakgadi, your sister hates me, I don't have a place to
sleep now that ntate Kgolo has moved in.

Rakgadi: WHAT? what do you mean moved in? I will have to call
bomalome ba lona this is not right.

Me: No rakgadi don't do that she will kick me out for sure and I am still
saving up money for my own place until I graduate.

Rakgadi: I am so confused, why would she kick you out and why are
saving money? I always send money home to help with school. Letsatsi
I am calling your mother

Me: Don't do it now please rakgadi, Ka kopo tu.

Rakgadi: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. So do you know my father?

Rakgadi: Not that much, we met in varsity back in the day, he was Zulu
and from KZN. I don't know if your mother told him that she's pregnant
or not. What have I just done, my mother will kill me if she finds out I
am asking these questions.

Me: Do you know his name?

Rakgadi: It's Andile or Sandile I am not sure.

Me: Thank you and I am sorry to bother you about this. Good night.

Rakgadi: Good night baby.

Where will I ever find my so called father, he left my mom and now I
have to pay for his sins. I said a prayer before bed: Dear God please
guide me and show me the light, Amen. 7- In The Jungle
This city is alive compared to Durban there are endless possibilities and
I love it. I got back yesterday evening and I don't have any classes
today, Letsatsi and I have a movie date I will pick her up at her and will
have something to eat first and chill by my place before the movie since
it starts in the afternoon. I am nervous I haven't done this since
Amahle, "get yourself together man" I say to myself. She walks towards
the car, she is wearing light washed high waisted jeans, a black graphic
t-shirt and white sneakers, she looks really beautiful, these jeans she's
wearing are doing the lords work, he beautiful dark skin is flawless. "I
have concluded you like to stare." She says getting in the car and
laughing.
Me: Hey beautiful, I can't help it you look good. She is blushing and I
love it.

Letsatsi: Oh, why thank you. You clean up nice, I see Durban was good
to you mara.

Me: Zulu men don't glow wena. She laughs. "Would you mind if we go
to my place to wait for the movie there since it starts late and we can
get something to eat. I am jumping the gun here but I am lazy to go
wait at the mall.

Letsatsi: Yea we can do that.

We are in my place and she has been admiring it, she said she didn't
have a good look at it the last time she was here, my home is huge for
only one person, open plan set up of the lounge and dining area, the
lounge is large and opens up onto a lovely patio with a built in braai
modernized dark wood kitchen, it has three spacious bedrooms with
with built in cupboard space, my bedroom has its own full en-suite
bathroom, with a lovely corner bath, a shower, toilet and basin, the
second bathroom that services the other two bedrooms is situated
downstairs, with a bath toilet and basin. Upstairs you'll find a
comfortable and modern office space, a sliding door that opens up onto
a big balcony. I bought at Mugg and bean brunch on our way home, I
plated everything and placed her food on the dinning table while she's
in the bathroom.
Letsatsi: You don't get scared when your friends are not here?

Me: Me scared? Do I look like I get scared? She laughs and shakes her
head no. "You don't have to be scared around me." I say

Letsatsi: Nah I'm not scared of you. Which movie did you pick?

Me: Transformers, my mom and I are fans. I never miss it, I hope you
don't mind.

Letsatsi: Not at all, I like them too. So tell me why did you decide to
come and study here and not back home? I wasn't expecting that
question.

Me: My first choice was UKZN but something happened and I had to get
away from it.

Letsatsi: Oh, I'm sorry I asked.

Me: It's cool man I am over it honestly. I was, I had a lot to think about
on my way back here, Amahle is history and I have to focus on me and
making sure I graduate. "Plus Jozi has my heart literally." She laughs.

Letsatsi: I would like to leave

 I was born and raised here and never been outside of the city. I would
love to go to Durban some day just to see the sea.
Me: Next time I go I am taking you with me, I have a feeling you will like
the ocean.

Letsatsi: I will hold you to that. After eating she took the dishes to the
kitchen and washed them, I have to complete an assignment which is
due at 12pm before we go while she watches TV. It's time for our
movie, I have submitted my assignment just in time. My friends have
been blowing up my phone and I have been ignoring, I am still enjoying
my time with Letsatsi it feels good.

The movie was epic I enjoyed it, I texted my mom and told her how
dope the movie was and she can't wait to watch as well. We bought
dinner after our movie I am not sure why since the popcorn made us
full, she said she will eat it later. I can't help but notice her spirits are
low could it be I did something wrong? "Letsatsi is there something
wrong?" She looks up at me and fake smiles but her eyes are telling a
different story. "If I did something or said something wrong I
apologize."

Letsatsi: No, no you didn't do anything wrong, in fact I had an amazing

day, thank you so much Sya.

Me: Then what's wrong because I can see you not good?
Letsatsi: I don't want to talk about it. I nod, I understand what she's
going through. I got out the car and opened the door.

Me: Can I get a hug? She smiles and opens her arms to me, she's
hugging me like she doesn't want to let me go and it confirms it she's
not okay. I hugger a little tighter and whisper I got you. Why does this
feel so good but yet so quick, the last time my heart beat was this fast
was back in high school. She breaks the hug and looks down, she is
crying I wonder what could be the problem. I wiped her tears and we
look at each other for a good minute when we hear someone scream
her name, "Letsatsi, what are you doing?"

Letsatsi: Oh, shit, I have to go, that ntate. she quickly moves away from
me. I turn to see a man standing not so far away from us I figured that's
her father, she ran like a lightening, he grabbed her arm with so much
force it shocked me. I got in the car and waited until they got in the
house before I drove off after asking her to send me a text if she needs
anything I hope she's not in to much trouble.

I got to res, I am here to get my friends, my house is empty and Arsenal

is playing tonight AJ has already bought a few beers and I bought extra
food with Letsatsi. I called my Sthe so they can come by the gate,
"Wena you are whipped, second date?" trust AJ.

Me: I don't know what you talking about, I needed a friend to watch a
movie with since you two ditched me for pussy.
Sthe: I wish I pussy man, I had a test today man, third year is difficult
fuck.

Me: Tell me about and we have been partying none stop since the year
started.

AJ: I feel like dropping out now to be honest. We both give him the eye
like nigger we had plans don't do it. "Serious majita, I am tired, I have 2
subs I need to rewrite."

Me: We all need to focus man, baba knows what we've been up to and
we need to do better. 8-Leave my house
Ntate Kgolo saw me with Sya after he dropped me off, I got so
emotional because I am back in this place where I don't feel safe, his
hug made it even worse I felt safe and I felt warm. My mother is not
back from work, my siblings are in their rooms, this man pushed me so
hard I fell on the floor, I am so scared of him I prefer my mother at this
point. "Stand up" he shouts, he grabs my arm again and pins me to
wall. "u ne u etsa'ng ka moshanyana eo?"

Me: He's a friend from school ntate, he gave me a lift.

Ntate Kgolo: le bua mashano, you speaking lies. he shouts again. "Listen
here if you think you are now a woman I will show you what men do to
woman, you are lucky your siblings are home and you want to teach my
child you bitchy ways? I pushed him away from me and in return I got a
hot slap on my cheek, I felt tears go down my not because he slapped
me I am used to that, I'm crying because this man will rape me one day.
"wetsang? huh who are you pushing? he tries to slap me again and I
hear my brother screaming at his father "Ntate wetsang?" "Go back to
your room before I hit you too."

Letsego: I am going no where until you let my sister go. He let go of my

arms and moved away from me.

Ntate Kgolo: Wait until you mother gets here.

My brother rushes to me and hugs me tight and takes me to his room,

my sister is standing by the door just looking at me, "what did you do
this time around?" she asks and I ignore her.

Letsego: What was that? did he hurt you? let me see? My cheek is a bit
swollen and by the end of the night my eye will be closed.

Me: I don't know, a friend of mine dropped me off and your father saw
us hugging.

Letsego: I am so sorry sis, come go shower and I will wait outside in the
kitchen until you done.
My brother is so sweet and I wish my mother would stop trying to
break our relationship. She is working until 6pm today and I will have to
cook, her man has been drinking and by the looks of things he's still
drinking, my sister is not in the house she left saying she's going to
Naledi one of her friends but Letsego called in bluff. She's dating a
ginsta from around here Sabelo and we can hear his car from a mile a
way. I am done cooking and I am dishing up, Sya and I are texting his
watching soccer with his friends and checking if I am good for the 100th
time, I quickly put my phone away as soon as I hear my mother's voice
in the living room it's about to go down in this house it's either I will be
bruised or she most definatly kicks my ass out her house. She passes by
the kitchen and doesn't greet me and goes to the bedroom we use,
she's talking but I can't hear what she's saying because my heart is
pounding, after sometime she throws my laptop to the wall I felt a
piece of me break with it, lucky I always save my work to my hard drive
and usb. "Mma, mama my laptop with all my school work, why would
you do that?" I ask picking it up.

Mma: School work? when do you go to school if you busy on the streets
with men that drive cars huh.

Me: Men?

Mma: Your father told me he saw you with a man and you had the
nerve to push him in front of that man of yours.
Me: I didn't do that mama, ntate Kgolo ho bua mashano, I only pushed
him because he said... I kept quiet for a second.

Mma: What did he say? and if you lie to me child I will hit you so hard.
My brother is trying to calm my mother down but that lands him a slap.

Me: That I think I am a woman and he will show you what men do to us.
She laughs but not a nice laugh she's about to fuck somebody up and
that's me.

Mma: Now you going to lie about brother's father? huh Letsatsi? she
grabs my arm and we go to the living room. Kgolo this child is saying
you will show here what men do to women.

Ntate Kgolo: When did I say that? this child of yours is a problem and
she will teach my kids her ways. I don't want her around my kids
Dikeledi, if we are going to get married I don't want her. You need to
discipline her, I tried but she pushed me. the grip got tighter and
another slap on my cheek, slap after slap

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after slap I busted my lip I can taste the blood next thing I feel a belt on
my thighs, she is hitting me so hard I can't hold the tear in any more.
Me: ke kopa ts'oarelo mma. I am asking for forgiveness for something I
didn't do. My apology is falling on def ears, she is going in and I am out
of breath at this point, I can hear my brother shouting for her to stop
but she goes in harder.

Mma: You are a curse in my life, you want to ruin my marriage like how
you ruined my life, you turning my kids away from me. O ka se bone
seo. For what felt like a torture of a life time she stops, sounds like she's
leaving the room. "Sis wake up" my tears are blinding my vision. "I want
you out of my house and out of our lives for good. Letsego move."

Letsego: Where will she go it's late now mma

Mma: I don't care and if you keep asking me stupid questions you are
next. Vuka sfebe, tloha ntlong ya ka, I don't ever want to see you in this
house again go search for that father of yours that you where asking
about it, nxa. Oh, now I know why she is so mad, rakgadi told her I
asked about my father.

Me: I need my school bag please.

Mma: Letsego get her things so she can leave, Ke batla hore a tsoe. She
spits on the floor and walks to her room with her pervert of a man
following her. I am on the floor crying when my brother walks in with
my school bag and bag with clothes and toiletries
Letsego: Sis, I have toiletries in her and some clothes, do you have
money to request to Landiwe's? I nod yes but I have to call her to find
out if she's at res or her boyfriend, she did mention she might be busy.

Me: We have to call her first she might be busy, her phone rings with
no answer. My phone rings and it's Sya, I answer just then my mother
walks in screaming.

Mma: Letsego what is she still doing here, little girl leave my house
now, she chargers to me I grab my bags and run out the house. It's late
but the street is still buzzing, she is swearing at me as I walk out and
everyone is watching "walk of shame ke sana."

Sya: Letsatsi are you okay?

Me: No I need your help, please come get me.

Sya: Okay, I am coming. I am standing by the corner where Sya dropped

me off earlier he is here with his friends he quickly jumps off as soon as
the car stops. 'What happened? who did this to you?" I can't say
anything I have been crying since my mother hit me, he hugs me tight.
"AJ can you drive, I will sit at the back." He is holding me so tight and it
feels good being in his arms, I feel safe. I think I might have passed out
in the car, I woke up when he was putting me down on the bed, he sits
next to me and hugs me again, I could help but cry. "It's okay, you are
safe now, I got you."
Advertisement9-What Happened
Letsatsi is asleep in my room, when we got to the house she couldn't
stop crying and that broke my heart, after she showed she slept, she
has a busted lip and I can see finger marks on her cheeks, she got into
trouble because of me. "I think we AJ and I should leave, would you be
okay?" Sthe asks. "Yeah man I am just worried about her." I say. Sthe
requested for a uber already and it's two minutes away. "What
happened?" AJ asks me, I just shrug my shoulders I don't know what
could have happened honestly. After my friends left I checked on
Letsatsi, who could hit such a beautiful and soft spoken person like this
I hope that man didn't put his hands on her. My phone rings and it's my
mother, I miss her I am sure she would give me pointers if I ask. "Hello
mama"

Ma: Hey baby, how are you?

Me: I'm okay mama, how's everyone?

Ma: We're okay but we miss you so much. When are you coming back?

Me: I was just home last week ma I don't know, maybe winter vacation
I am busy with school and stuff now exam period is close.
Ma: I know baby, your brother was just asking when he can visit.
Anyways baby are you good, good? I spoke to your father. One thing
about mom she will grill her husband so she can get info from him.

Me: Yes mama I am good I promise. Ma can I ask you something?

Ma: Yes baby what is it?

Me: If you had a friend right and they call you crying to come get them
and when you do she's hurt, what do you do?

Ma: I would take her to a safe place first just to make sure not to much
damage was done. You said a she, did you take her to the hospital to
check if she wasn't you know?

Me: No mama I didn't I panicked and first instinct was to drive back
home.

Ma: Where is she now?

Me: She's asleep, she slept after her shower.

Ma: Okay will you be able to talk to her and ask what happened and get
back to me?
Me: Yes I will tomorrow morning. I'm scare mama because it could be
my fault.

Ma: What do you mean your fault Sya? kanti what happened?

Me: Her father saw us earlier, I dropped her off after we watched a
movie and next thing a I she calls me to come and get her with a busted
lip.

Ma: Oh my baby don't over think this okay just ask her what happened
and we can take it from there, I don't want you to stress about this
baby. "ahem", I turn and Letsatsi is standing by the passage entrance.

Me: I won't I promise and I will call you if I feel like I am. I love you and
tell dad I said hi.

Ma: Will do, I love you too pumpkin. She hangs up, I stoop up and
walked to her and held are arms. "Are you hungry or need anything to
drink?

Letsatsi: I'm not hungry thank you but I could have coffee if you got
some.
Me: Okay you take a seat and I will make you a cup. I walk to the
kitchen, put on the kettle proceed with making coffee, I grabbed a beer
at the fridge for myself when I was done and sat next to her. "Won't the
coffee hurt your lip?"

Letsatsi: No I don't think so. It went silent for a while. "Sya I am sorry to
bother you, I know you had better things to do than save a damsel in
distress, thank you for coming.

Me: Don't apologize

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I'm glad you called me. What happened? please don't say you don't
want to talk about it because you are hurt.
Letsatsi: After my step father saw us he kind of slapped me and then
told my mom that I pushed him in your presence when she got back
home after work she smashed my laptop to the wall, she started hitting
me and she kicked me out her house and I should go look for my father
that I have been asking about, I don't have a place to stay, I have a few
savings but it won't be enough since I have to get a new laptop. I'm
fuming on the inside, what type of parent does that, how do you kick
your child out like that.

Me: I am sorry I put you in that position Letsatsi and I will make it up to
you I promise.
Letsatsi: You didn't do anything wrong, he did all that for his own selfish
reasons and my so called mother wanted a excuse to kick me out she
has been hinting on it for a while now, I will have to look for a back
room back in Soweto for now and I will apply for res next year.

Me: You can stay here with me. She looks at me shocked. "It's almost
exam season with your savings you can get a laptop."

Letsatsi: It's tempting but I can't invade your space like that, you and I
met a week ago it doesn't feel right.

Me: Okay I get you but let me help, you will stay here until we get you a
place to stay, I won't take no for answer. She has her reservations and I
understand I will have to ask baba if he can sort out a room for me at
res, he owns a few student accommodations around here.

Letsatsi: Okay I think that's fair. She leans back on the couch and her
had rested on my shoulder. "Do you have any classes tomorrow"?

Me: Yea I do I have been slacking since the year started and I need to
catch up. Do you have class?

Letsatsi: Yes I do but I can't go looking like this now can I? We laughed,
it feels good to hear her laugh.
Me: You are so beautiful Letsatsi. I was thinking that but I had to say it
out loud. She looked at me and smiled, she really his.

Letsatsi: You know black people don't blush right? we both laughed
again, "thank you so much Sya. What is Sya short for? Siyabonga or
Siyanda?

Me: It's Syamthanda and black people do blush because you did it.

Letsatsi: Ooh, that's a cute name and Brown are mixed, I mean your
hair is also curly?

Me: My mother is mixed but I am Zulu through and through.

Letsatsi: Well I speak Johannesburg Zulu okay. Do you have a girlfriend?

I don't want to cause any trouble since I would be staying here for a
while.

Me: Well nah I don't, I don't think I will ever date.

Letsatsi: Oh, why is that? if you don't want to answer it's fine.

Me: It's cool, I had a bad break up years ago so yeah. She looks down
and plays wit her fingers, "And you? seeing anyone?"
Letsatsi: Nah, boys are not my thing, you guys are a lot I see it with my
friends, I tried it and I can't.

Me: What? so you into girls then?

Letsatsi: I am into nothing and that just that. We both laughed and we
spoke until it was around 1am, she slept in my room and I used the
other bedroom. Prudence is coming in tomorrow I will ask her to clean
and changing the bedding in this room, "Baba do you have any
accommodation available? I have a student who really needs it but
can't pay much for now." I sent a text to my father I hope he can pull
through for me but I know he will. 10-Winter Vacation
It's exam season and it has been hectic, baba pulled through for Letsatsi
after I told them what had actually happened to her and with a great
lecture from the parents the managed to help her. She stays at res and
doesn't have a roommate which is cool, I got her a MacBook pro as
belated birthday present she said I am being dramatic her birthday was
in March and we hadn't met, she shares a birthday with my queen
which I think it's cute. We had a boys meeting with my friends to
actually figure out what we a planning to do with our lives, if any of us
drops out now our parents will be disappointed, AJ listened and has
pulled up his socks we all have been attending classes. I am writing my
last paper today and I am excited I am going home, Letsatsi is coming
with me, her friends won't be in town during winter break I thought it
wouldn't be cool since she has no where to go. Uncle Sipho left his car
when his was in town due to an emergency back home he had to take a
flight, AJ and Sthe will drive my car and I will drive Sipho's. I am ready to
leave the house and confident I will ace this MF. My phone is ringing
and it's my mom, "Hello my beautiful mother."

Ma: Hey pumpkin, you in a good mood for someone who has a exam.

Me: That's because I will ACE it mama, How are you?

Ma: I am exhausted my love, Msimelelo and Awande are doing to much

I can't deal your sister will rather follow her father everywhere, I miss
you. We both laugh my siblings are two years old.

Me: Sorry mama I will help you when I get back, where's Sbani and
baba? He's been sulking ever since I cancelled on him but in my defense
I had a lot of studying to do I have to make it up to him.

Ma: He's still asleep, baby nanguSya, hold on my love I am passing the
phone to your dad, good luck and I love you.

Me: I love you to mama. "Msimelelo wenzani?" my mom shouts at the

back ground.

Baba: You mom will have grey hair soon, unjani mfana wami?

Me: I'm good baba and you?

Baba: I am good we can't wait for you to get here, are you still coming
with you girlfriend?

Me: She's not my girlfriend baba, she's just a friend

Baba: Hawu she's a girl and she's your friend mos. What is wrong with
this old man? we both laugh.

Me: Okay, okay, yes she is still coming.

Baba: Okay boy, good luck on your exam, I love you, bye now I have to
go help your mom with the boys before she kills me.

We both hang up. My exam is at 12pm but I will go through my notes

one last time at Bean There café, Letsatsi will meet me there. I sent her
a text to tell her I'm here and she's 5 minutes away, I ordered a hot
chocolate it's cold I can't wait to get to Durban where the winter is
warmer. "Syamthanda, sorry I am late I couldn't decide what to wear."
She's finally here, I got up and hugged her and kissed her cheek.

Me: You look good in anything come on now.

Letsatsi: MXM you just being to sweet, are you ready, nervous?
Me: I'm ready, I left my nerves at home babe, I got this. Are you ready
for tomorrow?

Letsatsi: I am nervous but excited, Lerato wishes she was coming with
but she's going on a family vacation. How long is your paper and have
you packed?

Me: 3 hours, I don't back I have clothes at home.

Letsatsi: Nice life problems, It's 9:30 and here early Syamthanda.

Me: I wanted to get out the house and I have to go through my notes
plus I had to see you first my good luck charm.

Letsatsi: Good luck charm you say? Well you getting a distinction for
this one ke. Let me get us food and I will be out your hair so you can
study. She got up to order some food, she's beautiful inside and out she
has been a good friend. "Here's your food Mr. I have to go and you
have to study, good luck babe see you later."

Me: Thank you babe, bye. She left me with a smile, she's doing things to
me I don't to feel

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 it's been a month for Sya WTF. I have been buried in these notes now
since Letsatsi left the café, I am at the exam hall I am ready to kill this.
The exam was as bad as I thought it will be, like I said imma ace that,
we are going out for dinner and few drinks hopefully with my friends
we invited Letsatsi and her friends, I am parked outside waiting on her
to come down she will be spending the night a my place since we are
driving out early in the morning. We are going to San Deck, Bar &
Restaurant in Sandton, Letsatsi is with Landiwe and they both look
good, she's even wearing makeup today wow that's a first. "Hi Sya"
Landiwe says as they enter the car after putting their bags in the boot.

Me: Unjani Landiwe? Lerato is not joining us?

Landiwe: Ngiyaphila.

Letsatsi: No, she's going on vacation remember.

Me: Oh, yeah, sure you got everything you'll need?

Letsatsi: Yea I think so, I won't need a lot, it's only a week right?

Me: Okay great, let's go wind down it's been a hectic exam period.

Landiwe: I want to be out the city already it's cold here. We all laughed,
we picked up AJ and Sthe before we drove to Sandton. It's around
4:30pm it's about to get packed here since it's Friday. What was a nice
chilled dinner few of our friends including Seipati is have joined us, it's
cognac and Ice Tropez for the ladies, Letsatsi is drinking but not as
much as the other ladies here, Landiwe kind of drunk now but to be
honest it's a vibe I have been missing. I went and sat next Letsatsi with
my arm around her neck.

Me: You good?

Letsatsi: Yes I am, this is nice, are you good?

Me: I'm 100 because you here. It's the liquor talking I swear.

Letsatsi: Why ucabamanga Sya? she sounds so cute when she speaks
Zulu I just like it.

Me: You so cute when you speak Zulu yazi, I tickle her and she laughs
and lightly hits my shoulder.

Letsatsi: You lie I am butchering it, when I am around you guys I can't
hear a thing you say sometimes.

Landiwe: If looks can kill, you two would be dead right now. Seipati has
been at it WTF. We both turned and looked at her, she needs to chill
why is she mad?
Letsatsi: What did you do to the poor girl? They laughed at me.

Me: Nothing and I swear on my grandmothers grave man, let her be,
we are here to have fun, Seipati walked towards us and sat next to
Landiwe.

Seipati: Sya I haven't seen you out in these streets in a minute where
have you been?

Me: Busy with school Seipati, I need a break.

Seipati: I know what you mean.

Landiwe: Aren't you chasing summer with your family since Lerato left
today?

Seipati: I am I wouldn't miss Italy for nothing darling. Anyways what's

up with you two? are you dating or what?

Letsatsi: ahem, aah..

Me: Yes we are, I smiled and looked at Letsatsi, "you will let me know
when you ready to leave?" She nods yes and I got up and sat with my
boys. We left the restaurant around 10pm I have to drive for 6 hours.
Landiwe was sloshed and Letsatsi wanted to leave anyway, we got to
my place AJ and Sthe will sharing a room, Landiwe is in the room
Letsatsi used when she stayed here. I am outside my balcony thinking I
feel a little anxious now that I'm going home, I'm over Amahle for reals
but I don't know what I will do if I see her. "What are you doing
standing outside by yourself?" Letsatsi says. "I need some fresh air and
think a little, why are you up?

Letsatsi: Wanted to say goodnight and check if you good, are you sure
that you okay? She's concerned about me hmmm.

Me: Come here and give me a hug, I'm good trust me just a little
anxious about tomorrow but I'm good. She has her hands wrapped
around my waist and her head laid on my chest we stand there in
silence for a good 5 minutes, she moves her head and looks up to meet
my eyes, we do this a lot stand in each others arms in silence. "What is
it?"

Letsatsi: Thank you for being such a good person.

Me: Don't sweat it. We both smiled and our eyes still locked in she has
beautiful hazel brown eyes, my hand is on her face I lean over and I
kissed her, she kissed me back and I feel my heart dancing. 12- Waking
Up In Durban
My crush for Sya is getting more intense, I bit my lip just thinking about
the heated kiss we had in this very same room last night I am glad his
little brother came to calls us because I don't know what would have
happened if he didn't for the first time in my life I was ready to give it
up I felt my lady pond was ready to be devoured, God what is this man
doing to me because I am not ready to be in any sort of relationship
especially with him since he is Sya. I am disturbed in my train of
thoughts when my brother calls me, ever since my mother kicked me
out the only person I speak to is Letsego, I tried reaching out to my
sister but she blue ticks me. "Hey lil bro, how are you?" I called him and
told him I am in Durban on vacation.

Letsego: I'm good Letsatsi, how is Durban?

Me: I've been here one day but I am having so much, I met Sya's family
yesterday. Letsego they have a beautiful home with a sea view, I have a
whole guest house to myself.

Letsego: It sounds like so much fun sis, wait I will video call you I want
to see. He hangs up and video calls me on WhatsApp, "Hey sis, you
really need to upgrade your phone, It looks like I am in a dream with
that quality, now get up I want to see."

Me: I'm broke and I can't afford a new phone okay, when did you
upgrade?

Letsego: Mom got it for last weekend, Iphone 8 plus, now hurry I want
to see. I'm happy she does things for him but I can't help but feel sad,
my mother hasn't bought me anything, the clothes I wore as a kid
rakgadi got them for me and I wear some of her clothes she gave me
before she left and since I got a job I get everything for myself.

Me: Bathong, that's nice I am happy for you brother. Anyways, this is
the bedroom it has a en-suit bathroom with a bath and shower, a open-
plan kitchen and living area and please check out my view from the
bedroom, the weather is a bit gloomy though.

Letsego: kgaitsedi that's so beautiful, I can't wait until I am rich so we

can go to places like this.

Me: Don't worry brother, I got one more year and if I do get a job we
can go on vacation. How's Lesedi and mom? I tried to text her but she
doesn't reply.

Letsego: They are okay, I miss Tsatsi.

Me: I miss you too Lee I promise when I get back I will come see you.

We spoke some more before we hang-up the call, I did the bed before
taking a shower and brushing my teeth, I have braids and I will have to
undo them soon, the weather looks gloomy lucky I brought something
warm, I am done getting dressed when Sya knocked on the door, Sya is
tall and buff he is in all black and has a beanie on, glasses look so good
on him. This is so awkward last time we spoke was when he said
goodnight. "hem, good morning you can come in."
Sya: Aaah good morning, did you sleep well? He usually looks me in the
eyes but not to day could he be scared or embarrassed? I am regretting
what I did last night, I am fiddling with my fingers now and I didn't
notice him getting closer I felt his arms around me, I laid my head on his
chest, his heart is beating as fast as mine.

Me: I slept like a baby, I was warm and you?

Sya: I slept a little late I was up thinking, breakfast is ready so we can go

before my mother accuses me of wanting to starve you to death. He
says that laughing, I follow him out the door as we have our way to the
main house, this house is beautiful from inside to outside, the dinning
room has a beautiful view, there's trees surrounding the whole house.
There's a beautiful breakfast spread and in my house I ate eggs when
mom was not around. "Hello beautiful, how did you sleep?" Sya's mom
is so beautiful and she looks very young.

Me: Good morning Mrs Gcabashe. I am not sure if I am even

pronouncing it right.

Sya's mom: Oh, darling you can call me Thula or mom if you want take a
seat I will get the rest of the family so we can eat. "Baby silinde nina I
am starving." She shouts as she makes her way to the kitchen. Shortly
after Sya's dad walks in with Nyasha in his arms followed by Awande I
think, I can't tell the boys apart
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they are all identical.
Sya's dad: Good morning, Letsatsi how did you sleep, the guest house
wasn't to cold?

Me: I slept like a baby and no I didn't feel the cold at all, thank you for
asking. He nods his had and Sya's mom walks in with the other boy, we
sat down for breakfast, everything looks so good and I might try
everything out. "I feel like I've seen you somewhere before Letsatsi I
just don't remember where." Sya's dad say. "It was at my work place,
Solo restaurant."

Sya's dad: Oh, yes I remember that, great customer service by the way.
That was the first time you to met? How do you tell parents that the
first we met at a club and passed out on his bed with your boobs out?

Sya: Baba, not the time or the place. We go to the same school that's
where we met.

Sya's dad: Okay I am just asking. He looks at his wife and they have
these silly smirks on their faces, they look so good together I kind of
feel the love between the two, I have never seen it with my mom and
stepdad. After breakfast I helped to clear the table and washed the
dishes, I am in the kitchen with mom, she said I can call her that mos,
her kitchen is big Gordon Ramsey type of shit I love cooking but just for
my family.
Me: Your house is very beautiful ma, thank you for letting me stay.

Sya's mom: Don't sweat it, you do the same course as Sya?

Me: Oh no, I do Digital Arts.

Sya's mom: You into art I see but why digital?

Me: I'm in love with animation and gaming that's why, I would love to
create my own game or cartoons one day.

Sya's mom: You will baby and you can even start now. she touched my
cheek, "We are done here thank you for helping me, Sya is upstairs in
his room, it's the first door on your left. I nod and walk up the stairs, I
knocked and went in, he is with his brother Sbani I think, Sya doesn't
look like his father and Sbani but is a replica of his other father, I don't
understand it either I will have to ask.

Me: What are you guys doing in here?

Sya: I am trying to apologize but his not budging.

Me: What did you do?

Sbani: He ditched me, I should be in Johannesburg right now he hasn't
made it up to me.

Me: That's not nice Syamthanda, what will you do about that?

Sya: What do you want?

Sbani: Anything. They sure do look cute.

Sya: Hamba ke uyogeza we will go to the mall and I will get you a nice t-
shirt.

Sbani: Alright cool. He jumps up an runs out the door, I wish I was this
close with all my siblings but it's better to get along with one of them
right.

Sya: What are you thinking about?

Me: Nothing, you two are really close, I mean all you siblings love you.

Sya: Sbani used to follow me everywhere even in school. He says

shaking his head, "Do you have any siblings? you don't talk about your
family."
Me: There's really not much to talk about really, my mother has two
other children with that man. I kept quiet for a while, I am happy my
mother kicked me out imagine if she didn't, Kgolo would have had his
way with me. I have a younger sister Lesedi and a brother Letsego, I
don't get along with my sister though and I don't know my father, I
have an aunt who lives in the UK and both my uncles past away before I
was even born.

Sya: Did he do more than slapping you that day? because f he did I
swear he will pay for it.

Me: Lucky he didn't, he said he wanted to show me how men treat

women now that I act like one. A part of me is glad that I got out even
though it wasn't a good way. Enough about sobbing stories, are you
going to show me around your city? I am trying to break the ice, I
somehow feel that his mood has changed from be nervous around me
to being pissed off.

Sya: I'm really sorry Letsatsi I really am I.

Me: Hey stop it's not your fault. I stand in front of him, I want him to
hug me, I am in love with his hugs. "Can I get a hug?" At least he has a
sly smirk on his face.

Sya: Is it just a hug that you want? sly smirk one again.
Me: It's just a hug I promise. I laughed and he got up, he is looking deep
into my eyes and it's making me nervous, he slowly cupped my face and
kissed me, he kissed me and I kissed him back over and over again. I like
this, I like him, my heart is doing summersaults right now. I want this to
be forever but at the back of my head I know it won't be.
13-We are just friends
I am staring at her like I've never seen her before, my heart is pounding
like a million trillion beats a minute what could that mean? Why does it
feel right, I like her a lot but I'm scared she will break my heart or I will
break hers. Our eye gazing is disturbed by a knock on the door, she
moves back a bit when it opened and it's my mother, I am trying to hind
my boner by sitting on the bed so she doesn't see.

Ma: Oh, I'm sorry, bad timing?

Me: No, no it's not, how can I help you mother?

Ma: Sbani is ready and can you get me something at checkers I want to
make dinner?

Me: Okay we will be down in a minute mama.. that was close, I need to
lock my door whenever I'm in this house. Can we talk before we go
please, you can sit there. I don't want her close to me I don't think I can
resist her there is a spark between us and we are trying to start a fire
that will burn out quick if we continue like this. "I'm not sure what's
going on between us but I feel we need to talk about what has been
going on between us recently, I want to know how you feel?"

Letsatsi: I like you a lot but I'm worried that the kissing might hurt our
relationship. Look Sya, I have never been in this situation before and I
don't want to ruin what we have now by trying something that won't
work. I just want to stay friends, and I'll do whatever it takes to make
that happen. Ouch I wasn't expecting that but I think she's right I have
to get my shit together

Me: I'm not sure how I feel, but I think if we kiss again, it'd make things
more confusing. I don't think I want that to happen, I just want you to
know that if you want to keep talking, I'm here. I want to make sure
that we really understand each other and that you feel heard.

Letsatsi: The feeling is mutual, we should get going don't you think?

Me: You can go I just want to sort something out first. She smiled at me
and left, WTF just happened? I'm a little hurt but deep down I know it's
not time yet. I make my way down stairs, my mother is in the lounge
with Letsatsi who has Nyasha sitting on her lap, why does this make my
heart happy, aaarg stop it Sya, stop it. "Stop staring at the poor girl
wena." Baba says behind me. "Baba."

Baba: You sure do like staring at her but not enough talking, she's
beautiful and by the looks of things you two have feeling for each
other, Why don't you make a move ask her out.
Me: I like her as a friend dad trust me and we are both on the same
page.

Baba: You forget how old I am, but I will stay away from your affairs son
my door is always opened though if you need to talk. He taps my
shoulder and leaves me be. I need a distraction and a good vibe will do
me good, we left for Gateway, the ride was a bit quiet with Sbani doing
the talking, we went to Archives and he got a Jordon's T-shirt and we
went to checker's to but things my mom needed, I got Sbani food,
Letsatsi said she's full. I received a call from my friends that the are
already in Chesterville on our way back home, I just want to change and
we will join them after.

Me: We meeting up with Sthe and AJ for a Sunday chill session at

Mojo's car wash, do you want to change or you good?

Letsatsi: I'll go and change, I feel hot in these. She went to the guest
house to change and I went to my room. Green Lacoste sweatshirt,
denim shorts and High top Chuck Taylor All Star Classic I sprayed my
Tom Ford perfume and went down stairs to wait for Letsatsi.

"You look nice, where are you going?" mom says. Ngiyohlangana
namajita we will be back a little late, so don't wait up for me.
Ma: I miss those days, don't you baby? Why did we decide to get old
ngempela?

Baba: We can still go out babe, you know what we should take the kids
to Richards Bay next weekend I haven't been to a club in such a long
time.

Me: Aren't you guys a little to old for the club? Niyaphi? No ways. Just
then she walks in looking so hot, in High waist ripped denim shorts,
white long sleeved top

black Dr Marten boots and a black biker jacker she has her braids in a
bun. I haven't seen her in shorts before so I am amazed Mr is also
twitching. "Close your mouth wena, you making the girl nervous." My
mom says, baba is in stiches right about now. "ahem", "we are leaving
see you two love birds later, oh and I am taking the G wagon." I say.
Ma: Please bring my baby back in on piece Syamthanda.

Me: Will you be comfortable with what you are wearing? I am asking
because one my friends will be gushing all over her and I don't think I
would like to see that happening.

Letsatsi: I am comfortable we can go. I'm not going to lie it's a bit
difficult being in my position, I want to pin her on a wall and have my
hands roaming around her thick bod' she's making it difficult for me to
stay in the friend zone. This has to be our first awkward ride together
why did I have to kiss her that night. "So where are now?"

Me: This is Mojo's car wash and shisanyama in Chesterville, tomorrow I

will take you to my grans house where my mother grew up, you ready?

Letsatsi: Let's get this party going... This place is always packed on
Sunday but it's always a vibe we are in the VIP section, AJ, Sthe, Zamani,
Sphe and Junaid are already drinking, I see some of the girls I went to
high school with and some I don't know, Letsatsi is a bit shy so she's a
bit quiet. "Yoh dawg senize nafika." Sthe say's we fist pumped and I
hugged the ladies.

Me: Ngidlala iolady noSbani nje, gents this is my friend Letsatsi, babe
that's Zamani, Sphe, Nomzamo and Lindelwa we all went to school
together.

Letsatsi: Hello, it's nice to meet you all. She smiled and sat next to me,
she's a little nervous bandla. I order drinks for us beer for me and Ice
Tropez for her, the vibe is good I hadn't had so much fun in such a long
time and this is a good distraction for what is happening between us,
she is now sitting with the girls and I am with gents. "Are you sure she's
just a friend nigga?" Zamani had to ask that questing yeses.

AJ: I also want to now.

Me: Tsek wena AJ, sure nigga we are good friends that's it.

Zamani: Then I will chop it up with her right now, excuse me. I want to
stop him from doing that but it would be selfish for both us, we want to
stay friends so I should stop who wants to talk to her, Zamani leave us
to talk to her.

Sthe: Why am I sensing that this is a terrible mistake that you are
doing?

Me: I don't know what you talking about dude.

Sthe: We have been friends since primary school and I know when you
have the hots for someone and right now you hot for the chocolate
fountain.. the gents laughed

Me: Uyahlanya wena ayikho leyonto. It's good to see her laugh but I
wish she was laughing with me, we keep looking at each other but we
haven't really spoke that much since we've been here. More of our
friends joined us even Amahle's cousin who we went to school with this
is really awkward I just hope she's not here, "AJ we need more drinks",
he is so occupied with Nomzamo it's annoying, I decided to go on my
own, as I walk down the stairs I am met by my ex-girlfriend why is she
here and why does she look good. I am stuck and I don't have anything
to say, I should have know that hanging out with my circle of friends I'm
bound to bump into her. I know I said my feelings for her are gone but
seeing her standing in front of me it's a different story, "breath Sya,
breathe don't act fazed.

Amahle: Sya unjani, I didn't know you would be here my sister dragged
me out the house.

Me: Ngiyaphila how are you? I haven't seen you in forever. I move
closer to her for a hug, she still smells the same Elizabeth Arden. I'm
getting something to drink would you need anything?

Amahle: I'll have whatever everyone is having, I'll see you when
upstairs then yeah.

Me: Sure, she walked upstairs while I went outside to get some air, I
texted Sthe and AJ to come down I need to speak to him.

Sthe: Bro, WTF

AJ: Right now I don't wish to be in your shoes, what a fucking

predicament you are in SHIT!!

Sthe: But you over her right? I kept quiet trying to think if what I have
been telling my friends, family and myself is the truth or not.
AJ: Well that answers it you are fucked my friend, let's go and get drunk
shall we. 14- The Girlfriend
Why do men lie? what is the need for the lies I will never get and I don't
think I want to either, firstly it's Sya's friend here trying to sell me a
dream, he is funny I give him that but his phone has been blowing off
with baby and a heart emoji next to it pops up on his screen. Sya and I
are keeping our distance we don't want to find our lips locked in after
the conversation we had today but I miss him, they have been gone for
a while now I am with people I don't know and if I am being honest I am
out of place all these people look like they come from a good
background. Everyone in this table has a iPhone and taking out my old
Samsung will be a joke ke my darlings I need to pee, I asked Nomzamo I
think if she knew where the toilets are, I got up after she told me I can
hear laughter at the back and I can't help think that they are laughing at
me I might be paranoid because I am scared but when I was with them
they didn't laugh out loud like this, calm down Letsatsi it's really
nothing. Once I was done I went back to the table, Sya is back and is
talking to one of the girls she looks familiar like I have seen her
somewhere but where I am in Durban, he sees me coming and waves
for me to come his way. "Hello, where have you been?"

Sya: Had to get something to drink. This is Amahle she's a old friend of
mine and this Letsatsi my other friend from JHB she's here for a
vacation.

Amahle: Nice to meet you Letsatsi right?

Me: Like wise. I should let you too catch up, I went back to where I was
sitting and there's a conversation about Sya and Amahle. "I don't know
why they didn't fix things they still look good together." one of them
says, Oh, now I remember where I have seen her, Sya's Instagram but
that picture is not there anymore, they are right about one thing
though they do look good together.

Lindelwa: But let's be honest she did do him dirty remember. I wonder
what she did.

Nomzamo: That's a tough one right there, very hectic.

Unknown: My cousin learnt her lesson which I am sure she regrets I

wouldn't be surprised if we leave here and this two are back together
I'm sure Sya is single.

She is saying all these things while giving me a smirk she should know I
do not give a shit

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I rolled my eyes and got up to go sit with Sthe, I can't be around them
anymore I hardly understand most of the things they are talking about
anyways, sitting with boys is rather fun then being with those snobs,
My so called friend is still occupied, he looks like he is enjoying himself,
I am drinking but not to much, most of them are a little drunk, Sya has
been downing shots, after shots this is the Sya I met. He is all over her,
actually they're both all over each other and if I am being honest it's
fucking pissing off but I won't show him that I want to go and sleep in
actual fact.
The night is definatly not young anymore this man is pissed drunk Sthe
had to call his father to come and get him, we are sitting at the back
and he has been mumbling things I can't hear in fact I want to go home
one thing about men LIES, LIES and fucking more LIES, I get we decided
to be friends but come on dude a few hours ago your lips where on
mine. His father is driving the car we came in and his mother is driving
the one we in.

Ma: Hey baby what's wrong? I didn't even realize that we are parked in
the garage and that I am now crying why am I? Come on Letsatsi you
friend zoned him for godsakes.

Me: It's nothing ma, will you need help with Sya?

Ma: No baby, his father will help me. You can go shower and sleep
okay.

I nod and walked to the guest house, I fell so stupid for not expressing
how I feel about him, I feel so stupid for crying how do I move forward
from this honestly.
15- The morning after
"Fuuuuck!" I am woken up by my phone ringing, I tried to ignore it but
this person is persistent. "Hello." I say in my sleepy voice. "Mngani,
wake up, I have been trying to call you." Landiwe has zero timing, I'm
tired I slept after 4am I was tossing and turning thinking about my
mess. "Hi chommie, I am tired and slept late. What is it?"

Landiwe: You looked cute last night tell me about it come on, I stalked
Sthe's Instagram. This is another problem, my bestie here has a thing
for Sthe.

Me: Oh, thank you very much friend, last night was great, I think I love
Durban. Last night was great but it could have been greater if Sya had
spent time with me.

Landiwe: Okay, why does it sound like you didn't?

Me: I did honestly chommie. I sat up on the bed and took a deep
breath. Chommie I have something to tell you.

Landiwe: Spit it out.

Me: Sya and I kissed or we have been kissing and I kinda friend zoned
him yesterday.

Landiwe: Bitch WHAT!!!! wait you two kissed? I knew it.. She is
screaming and she's so annoying. Okay tell me this why did you friend
zoned the guy?
Me: I don't know? I got scared you know his reputation, he's really not
the dating type.

Landiwe: Yea you right about that but you should have told him your
concerns. Did you guys kiss last night?

Me: No we stayed apart most of the night, his ex-girlfriend was there
and he was all over her Landzy I felt so stupid and none of those Zulu
girls liked me. I roll my eyes.

Landiwe: Drama Letsatsi! I am sorry you had to go through that babe so

what now, what happens between you two?

Me: I don't know babe, I'll have to stay away from him.

Landiwe: How will you do that? You are in his house. She laughs and I
join her. "Listen just be yourself and don't overthink this okay? now get
up, take a bath, look nice and explore the city stop sulking I have to go I
love you."

Me: I love you too friend bye.

The weather looks nice today, I will go for a walk by the beach, Sya
showed me trail from his house that takes you to the beach. I got up,
made the bed and showered, I threw on a mid-length dress with long
sleeves and sandals. My phone rings and it's Sya, I wonder how he is
feeling he went in last night. "Good morning" I say

Sya: Hey, "silence" breakfast is ready I'll come get you in a minute.

Me: No need I'll be there now now.

Sya: I'm sorry about last night, I drink like there's no tomorrow when I
am around my friends and mom gave me a serious lecture already.
Serves him right.

Me: Is it? you did the most though. I'll see you in a minute bye. I hanged
up the call and went to the main house, Sya is sitting at the dinning
table and he sure looks like his going through it.. "Dude you look like
crap."

Sya: I feel like it too, I am hanging so bad, let me warm up you food. He
got up and went to the kitchen, his mom walks down the stairs she is
looks so beautiful with her curly afro

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her skin so flawless and the dress she's wearing looks so good on her.
"Hey Letsatsi, you finally awake, have you eaten?"
Me: Good morning ma, Sya is just warming me up something to eat.
How are you?

Ma: I'm okay thanks., listen when you done I would like you to come
with me for a girls salon date, Sya will help the nanny with the kids.

Sya: Hawu ma we have plans. He says walking towards us, I want to

laugh because the look his mom is giving him is funny.

Ma: You are not going anywhere especially after last night, you made
the poor girl cry. Oh shit I forgot about that, he looks at me with his
eyes popped out. "Eat up baby we are leaving in 30 minutes.

Sya: Why were you crying did I do something wrong? I won't tell him
that I was crying because I was pissed he kissed someone else.

Me: It was nothing.

Sya: Come on Letsatsi, my mom wouldn't just say that.

Me: I was missing my brother that's all

Sya: Are you sure?

Me: Dude yes.

"Good morning Mrs. Gcabashe, please follow me." The lady in the front
desk says, we are a salon in Umhlanga, the ride her was so nice I got to
know Sya's mom a bit she told me she had Sya when she was still in
high school and told me all of Sya's funny moments, she is so full of
energy. I am getting my hair done as well she insisted and said she
won't take no for an answer, my braids are undo thank you Mrs.
Gcabashe and I did long straight back cornrows it looks neat and I love
it, I am now getting my nails done while Sya's mom is still braiding her
hair. I went for a light blue shade for both my toes and finger nails I am
attracting peace and harmony for the rest of my stay here. After a long
day at the salon we went to have lunch at Steak and Oyster, this
restaurant looks nice. We have order food and drinks already,

"I am having lunch sthandwa sami, no stop being silly, I miss you too I'll
pass by the office after this okay bye now." That's Sya's mom on a call,
she has a huge smile on her face after that call. "Sorry about that,
Tendai doesn't want me to breath" she says laughing. The waiter is
brings our drinks first.

Me: It's not a problem. How long have you been married?

Ma: It's been two years now but it feel like forever.

Me: And here I was thinking it's more than that, you really have a
beautiful family ma.
Ma: Thank you my love and you are part of it now. How are things back
home? Sya told me he had to let his parents know what happened.

Me: I don't know I never went back there since that day but I do speak
to my little brother he seems okay.

Ma: If you need anything at all you can call me okay, I grew up without
a mother and I was grateful enough to have my gran. Independency is
nice but there are things that needs a mother and I am a great listener
too.

Me: Thank you so much for what you and your husband have done for
me.

Ma: Don't sweat...

I am on my way to Zimbali, I didn't know Sya's parents has a driver on

standby, Thula had to stay behind to help her husband with work and
couldn't drive me back, I went straight to the guest house when I got
here to leave the things I bought after a mini shopping spree, It's only
day 3 and I have been spoilt rotten. I was able to get to the beach, the
air is so calming and a chilly I am glade I went there I got think about
everything that has happened in a short amount of time, I also
concluded that I will create my animation portfolio when I get to
Johannesburg and maybe look for a job that aligns with what I am
currently studying. 16- We don't know what we want
Why do we drink alcohol? I am still hanging, I showered after mom and
Letsatsi left and went to sleep. I just woke up and I am still laying in bed
scrolling on my phone, I decided to check my WhatsApp messages since
I have been mizing them since morning. In the group there's a whole lot
of pictures sent by Sthe, it was on hell of a night I tell you. I got a text
from a number I don't recognize. "Hey Sya, it's Amahle, I had a great
night with you. I didn't realize I missed you until I saw you. I would like
us to talk before you leave." I ended up kissing Amahle yesterday. I do
remember, I am not over her if I am being honest and it's been 3 years.
I ignored the text and will reply later, right now I have to speak to
Letsatsi and apologize about last night, AJ told me I did a dick move and
totally ditched her. I got to the guest house and she is watching TV, she
has new hair. "Hey."

Letsatsi: Hey, still hanging?

Me: Bro and I have slept the whole day, love the new hair

Letsatsi: Thank you, your mom came through for the girl.. she laughs

Me: Sorry about last night bruh, I shouldn't have neglected my guest
like that it was cool.

Letsatsi: Okay it's water under the bridge.

Me: Letsatsi I know you said you want us to be friends nothing more.

Letsatsi: Yes we both agreed to it.

Me: I wanted to make sure if that's what you really want?

Letsatsi: What do you want?... Really did you have to?

Me: I don't know, I like you and you like me but I'm not ready for
anything serious and I love having you around. I don't want to hurt you
and then be enemies . I am being for reals though with Amahle in the
picture I can't have anything serious until I know what's up.

Letsatsi: Enemies? I don't think so ha ha ha, It's settled we keep our

relationship as it is. Hug? I hugged her and we continued watching the
movie she was watching.

It's Tuesday and we are exploring the city, first we will try out the big
swing in Moses Mabhida Stadium and visit the Kwamuhle Museum. The
weather is warm again, I texted Letsatsi to get ready an hour ago, my
parents have work and the kids will stay with the nanny, I am taking
Sbani with me as well. We are in Mabhida and she is shitting her pants,
she says she is afraid of heights but we already here she might as well
face her fears head on.
Sbani: That was so cool

Letsatsi: I know right now my heart is still beating so fast right now...

That was fucking amazing, after the Mabhida we went to museum and
lunch at Times Square in Florida road, after lunch we went to
KwaMashu, my father is back from work, I past by my grans house first
to see mkhulu before going to my dad's, he was so happy to see us.
Baba asked if I can get Gogo from church and get meat at the butcher,
we are having a braai. I called mom and told her we will be home a little
late. Gogo has it with Letsatsi in the house and she has been calling her
makoti since we got here I am with dad and Sbani is watching soccer
highlights.

Baba: Gogo wakho is jumping the gun here.

Me: Tell me about it.

Baba: Everything good son?

Me: Everything is good tyma it feels good being home I have missed it.

Baba: We have missed you. I have a guest coming and it's someone
special to me..
Me: Special? Huh.. we both laughed, a few minutes after a car parks by
the gate and a pretty lady around my mothers age or maybe younger
gets out, my father rushes to her, so this is the special guest I'm happy
for him

he deserves it after that evil woman he dated years ago. "Sawubona" I

say baba walks her into the house, Letsatsi walks out with a pot for the
meat, I don't know how I will get over this crush when she looks this
good.
Letsatsi: Earth to Sya, you are always thinking about something, seo u
se nahanang? I frown, "What are you thinking about?" she laughs,

Me: Nothing important, she passes me the pot. Once I was done with
braaiing the meat we went inside the house everyone was in the sitting
room talking.

Baba: Sya I would like you to meet Mbalenhle, she makes me happy. I
can see that he is happy and Mbalenhle is beautiful. They look good
together.

Me: Nice to meet you aunt Mbali, thank you for making my old man
happy.

Mbali: Nice to meet you too Sya, I've heard so much about you.
Me: Good things I hope.

Baba: Obvious. We all laughed, the braai needed no lie, we are on our
way home now, Sbani is sleeping in the back seat. "I am so stuffed, I ate
a lot today," Letsatsi says.

Me: Same here, I need my bed.

Letsatsi: I know right. So that's your biological father and Tendai is your
stepfather?

Me: Yes that's right, my parents broke up when I was a child. My father
and I didn't get along after what his ex did to me, Sbani and my mother.

Letsatsi: What happened if you don't mind me asking.

Me: We got kidnapped, even my aunts that you met Friday, it was all
over the news even. He didn't know about it until we got found, if it
wasn't for baba I don't think I would have forgiven him it took a lot of
therapy sessions to get where we are.

Letsatsi: That's deep, I'm sorry for your trauma, no one deserves that
kind of treatment.
Me: Aaarg I am over it but thank you.

When we got home we spent some time with my parents, Sbani went
straight to bed when we got home. We are in the guest house Letsatsi
has just finished showering and we are sitting on the couch watching a
movie with a throw blanket, I don't know how we say we don't want
each other but we cuddle up like this, she is sleeping I woke up so she
can go to bed, when I was about to leave the bedroom she asks me to
say, this one doesn't know what she wants, I took my sneakers and off
and got in the covers, I'm not gonna lie this feels right but why are we
pushing each other away? 17- Graduation
It's a new year and I am officially done with Uni, I am in Durban. I have
been here since the December holidays. Letsatsi and I are still friends
and we are closer than ever, she was with us during the holiday's
unfortunately things with her mother are still the same she says she's
better off without her and is in a better place, she is doing her final year
and has a job working as a part-time graphic designer, baba said she
can keep the room until she graduate which she was happy about, my
mom loves her and they call each other all the time. Amahle and I are
back together, mom was not happy about that, she said she is worried I
will fall back into depression, I get that she's worried but she shouldn't
be. Letsatsi and Junaid kinda had a thing going on but they ghosted
each other for some weird reason. I am graduating in July, I am excited
about and proud that I was able to push myself. I moved into the guest
house. I needed my own space, my old bedroom was getting too small
for me. My mother is pregnant, I have a little sister on the way, the
triplets have started day care because she can't handle the pressure
she's very emotional the time around. My father paid lobola for aunty
Mbali, he didn't waste any time is his happy I'm also happy.

I have a date with Amahle later on today I have been try to call her but
she's not answering I will try her later, both my friends are still in
Johannesburg I am not sure why, AJ and Sthe got an apartment
together and they are sharing Sthe and Landiwe are now dating we all
couldn't believe it. My phone rang from the kitchen, I quickly ran to go
get, "Sya mara" Letsatsi says over the phone.

Me: Tsatsi hi how are you?

Letsatsi: I'm so tired. The final year has me on a chokehold. What time
is your date and when are you coming back? we miss you

Me: You and who? The date is at 6pm and I am about to leave the
house, I'll be in town soon.

Letsatsi: Me and everyone else.. we both laugh.. "Okay then enjoy your
date then bye" Amahle doesn't approve our friendship she has been
asking me to call the friendship off. I am already dressed and I am
about to leave the house to pick up Amahle at her home in Durban
North, we will have dinner at my father's hotel. I called her when I was
outside the gate

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 she came 10 minutes after looking good in a mini red dress with her
makeup done. I got out of the car and opened the door for her. I jogged
to my side and drove off.
Amahle: Where are we going?

Me: It's a surprise, you look beautiful.

Amahle: Why thank you, you clean up nice too. On our way to the
restaurant we are reminiscing about the old times, I haven't seen her
kid yet I'm just not ready. I have my guards up and I don't completely
trust her but I love and care for her. When we go to the we order
appetizers and a bottle of wine, the mood is romantic. "This looks
pretty."

Me: Yea it does, my mom has been hands on with this place.

Amahle: She has great taste, are you ready for graduation?

Me: I've been ready, the ride is over and I am glad.

Amahle: You should be. I have something to tell you exciting news
actually. She is beaming with joy. I wonder what it is I gave her. I am
listening, look.. "I have a job offer at an accounting firm in
Johannesburg and I am starting next month." Oh wow.
Me: Congratulations baby. I gave her a kiss, I am so happy we will get to
be together. I am not planning on staying in Durban after graduation, I
have a few offers I have lined up. "If you leave, are you taking your
daughter with you?"

Amahle: No mom thinks I should settle to find a place and maybe after
a year I can take her.

Me: Sounds like a good plan.

Amahle left a month ago and has started her new job, we hardly talk,
she's either busy or tired. I was in JHB a week after she started her job,
she's based in Centurion actually. I am flying out with my parents I am
graduating this weekend yes the day is finally here, we are taking the
jet since everyone wanted to celebrate, Mbali and my mother got a
long like gas and fire it surprised Lungisani I wasn't sure what he was
scared off.

The day has finally arrived! The momentous day I have been looking
forward too for past three years. I am dressed in a tailored green suit I
pulled out the stops, I am in my apartment with my parents who are
waiting for me mom works in as I took one last look in the mirror. "Hey
baby" she says. "Hello mother I am done I was about to come to you
guys."

Ma: Nawe wenza kancane, I don't want us to be late.

Me: We won't be. I followed her out and went to the car with
everyone. The graduation hall was beautifully decorated there's a
banner congratulating graduates. The atmosphere in the graduation
hall was bustling with fellow graduates, parents and lecturers I entered
the hall and made my way towards my seat. My name was called out I
marched up the steep stairs towards the stage. My two seconds of
fame turned out to be a success I graduated cum laude and the screams
and cheers from my family seem like a distant memory “I did it,” I
thought to myself. "I am so proud of you" my crying mother says next
to me. 18- Celebrating Sya
Sya's mom and I had planned a little surprise lunch for him and his best
friends it is a glorious occasion after all. His father booked the the
whole restaurant and we have been here setting up and making sure
everything is spot on. I received a text from his mom telling they are on
they way, I called Landiwe to get AJ and Sthe everything looks peachy
and I can't wait. I created a video with pictures of them in primary
school until now and thanks to Junaid I was able to get the
embarrassing ones too. Speaking of Junaid, we had a December fling
back when I was in Durban but he wanted to dip into the honey pot and
like I said I aint ready for none of that, weirdly enough I was ready to
give it up for Sya. My feelings for him never went away and I have been
fighting it, It's been a year since we've know each other and our
friendship is great, he is my go to person when I am not okay and his
girl friend doesn't like that very much but I understand where she's
coming from I think after this I will distance myself from Sya I don't
want to cause any trouble between the two. Everyone is here and the
boys are sure surprised, everyone looks good and the vibe is definitely
vibing, I played the video while everyone was eating it they liked. I am
sitting with his mom, her pregnancy looks good on her.
Ma: Thank you for helping me with this, the boys love it and the video
cherry on top.. Ha ha ha ha!

Me: It's a pleasure I enjoyed helping you out, you have done so much
for me. Sya is with Amahle he looks happy he has been smiling I am
happy if he is happy.

Ma: I really thought you two where a thing the first time he told us
about you, he cares so much about you. she says disturbing my
thoughts, I laugh a little.

Me: Oh ma no, I care about him too, he is a great person and he

deserves all the great things, Gd blessed you with this one.

Ma: You got that right.. Letsatsi I don't want to step on no toes but I see
how you look at him you in love with him aren't you? I looked down not
knowing what to say, she held my hand.

Me: I think I do but there's nothing I can do about it, he is with the
person he has loved for years and I would hate to mess that up for him
by telling him how I feel.
Ma: I get you my baby but if you love something you fight for it. If it's
meant to be the universe will bring you to together, come her give me
hug.

After the graduation lunch we all went our separate ways and will meet
up for a after party at Rockets I need a nap first before going out to
party. I am in my place, I had bought an outfit before hand, a black mini
skirt with a slit from the Fix and a a black graphic tee from Factory, I will
wear orange block heels, I laid my wig that got for myself on my
birthday all I have to do is shower and do my makeup before I leave. I
spent my birthday in Cape Town with Sya and his family they have a
vineyard and I got a chance to meet his grandfather, I share a birthday
with mother no wonder we get along, my soul twin, I was gifted with a
iPhone 12 and I couldn't be more happier

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my brother and I get to facetime. Speaking of Letsego I went back
home to see him when his parents where not around he is all grown
and I miss him so much, he is doing well in school also my visit didn't
end well though because of my sister, we had a altercation and she
even said I am sleeping with rich people for money but I wasn't faced
by what she said because I know it is not true. Later that day I received
a call from mommy dearest calling me in all kind of names, it did hurt
me when she said she disowns me as her daughter, I would really like
to know what exactly happened for her to hate me this much. I am
planning to look for my father once I graduate to get to the bottom of
things.
I got a call from Chris, a white guy from work, I am working part-time as
a junior graphic designer for at Design Crazy, Chris is cool and his been
wanting us to hangout for a while now, I invited him out tonight, he will
pick me up in 15 minutes, I am with Lerato she's getting ready at my
place, this is another friendship that blossomed we are able to talk
about everything and everything and she is a great listener, Landzy is
with her new boo Sthe and my friend is head over heels for the boy.
Chris sent a text that his outside, the girlies are looking sexy and ready
to f things up, Chris drives a nice BMW and he looks cute and I think my
friend her is smitten, Lerato loves them vanilla chile.

Chris: Good evening ladies

Me: Hey Chris, this is my friend Lerato but we call her Rato and babe
this is Chris we work together.

Lerato: Nice to meet you Chris.

We get to Rockets and everyone is already there and it a vibe, with

these three it's VIP or nothing, we all look good. Tonight I am a little to
drunk than I usually am, I am dancing and grinding on Chris, I am having
so much fun, drinks are flowing and everyone is getting along, I have
kept my distance from Sya today I do not want ay problems because
miss Amahle will sure slit my throat. My date is lip locked with my
chozza I shake my head and laugh it out. We left Rockets in the AM's,
Chris dropped us off at res, Lerato and I are so sloshed even the
security guard didn't want to open for us I couldn't find my keys. I am
hungry and lucky Lerato charmed her way for Chris to get us something
to eat, I hope we where not to much for him.

I sent Sya a text congratulating and wishing him well on his new
journey. 19- Facing my demons
Rakgadi is in the country, she knows that I my mother kicked me out
and I told her what Kgolo said when he slapped me, so she had ask if I
can come to Soweto for a family meeting. I am dreading it, both my
friends are coming with, Lerato is taking me there. I am sweating and I
am so anxious you will never know with her we are parked outside the
gate Rato is holding my hand, "

Lerato: You can do this motsoalle(friend), we will be waiting for you in

the car if it get tough.

Landiwe: You will be okay chommie. We all got out the car and group
hugged.

I opened the gate and knocked on the front door, "Come in" my mother
shouts from the inside, this man is seating like he owns the place, the
look on it's own is terrifying, "NXA!" my mother says. Bomalome are
also present, I guess this is a big deal. "Dumelang" I say

Rakgadi: Dumela ngwanaka, you can sit.

I sit on the chair that's close to the door, I am preparing for the worst if
I am being honest. The tension in this house you can cut it with a knife a
very sharp one at that.

Rakgadi: Letsatsi, thank you for coming, kgaitsedi(sister) I called for this
meeting out of concern for your oldest daughter. You kicked her out of
her own for her to fend for herself when she has a mother and home,
secondly Kgolo you say very disturbing things to this girl making her feel
unsafe.

Mom: hmmm, you come to my house to ask me stupid things, Letsatsi

is busy with men with rich men I can't have that in my house now she's
spewing lies about Kgolo please. I wasn't planning on keeping quiet
today, I came here to face my demons so I can move on with my life.

Me: I don't know which rich man you are talking about mma. I got a lift
from a friend of mine from school unfortunately the man sitting next
you had to say incorrect things. Rakgadi mma had always wanted me to
leave what happened a year ago was her excuse to do it, Kgolo slapped
me that day, I pushed him because he as hinting that he wants to rape
me, the first day he was here I was making supper, he spanked my butt
and told me I am grown not only that wena mma you take my school
laptop and smash on the wall something I saved up for. Rakgadi looks
so shocked she, my mother on the other had she is defending this man.
"What did I ever do to you mama? all I ever did was respect you, why
do you hate me so much?" it is time
Mom: Your father ruined my life, I had to forget about myself and take
car of you my dreams were put on hold. He didn't do anything for you
and even when I asked for help he would say you are not his I lost my
scholarship because of you. I had to sleep with men for money so I can
take care of you and this family. She is crying and screaming at the
same time, what does this have to do with me though? "You are a
spitting image of that man, you remind me of everything he has done
to me." The uncles are shaking their heads in disbelief as to what my
mother is saying

Malome: What I would like to know why is man in this house? does he
have a family? you forget Dikeledi this man was arrested for rape you
bring him back into you life when you have two girls leaving in your
house? He should leave and the child needs to come home. hmmm this
I didn't know, he just disappeared out of the blue when Letsego was
still a baby.

Kgolo: Bomalome

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that was my past, I am not that person anymore, whatever she is
saying is a lie I did not touch her, I was only disciplining this child when I
saw her hugging that boy. He is still lying through his teeth I am crying
silently I am crying because I am being crucified for my father's sins.
Rakgadi: I agree with malome 100%, what if he does it to his own child?
heck what if he has done it already huh Dikeledi? why are you behaving
like a child? Letsatsi needs her mother.
Mom: You don't get to talk, you got a rich man and now you leave
overseas please don't come to my house to tell me who should get to
stay and leave, you didn't have sleep around to fend for a little child the
same money that put food on the table so that you eat sister. It's really
sad she had to go through so much pain just because she had me but
she had a choice rather than abusing me all these year. The mood is
somber everyone is in their feelings I made a decision that I will never
come back this place again, if I remind my mother of the hardship she
went through it's not fair on me. "ke kopa ts'oarelo but I can't have you
in my life, you are a reminder of what I want to forgot."

Me: Mma I am sorry that you had to go through so much pain because
of me you should have aborted me if life was that difficult, I wont back
down on what that man did and said to me I just hope he doesn't do it
to my siblings. I love you mma even if you don't love me I hope you can
get professional help one day to deal with your trauma. Rakgadi and
bomalome, thank you for trying to help clearly the woman that carried
me for 9 months wants nothing to do with me and there's no changing
her mind. I have someone who loves me as her own and I appreciate
her so much she is showing me what I have been missing. I am a crying
mess right now

I don't know if my mother is hearing anything I am saying but right now

I don't care. My brother walks and you can see he has been crying I
guess he heard everything, he hugs me so tight I cry even more. "I love
you Letsego and I am sorry." He doesn't say anything, my sister is
standing there not saying anything but her eyes look glossy. I am
leaving this house for good I won't be coming back here ever again.
Rakgadi walks me out, she hugs me as soon as I get in the car, my
friends have worried facial expressions, they can see that we have been
crying.

Rakgadi: I am sorry my baby, I thought I could help I see your mother

has deeper issues and I will try ang get her the help she needs, I want
you to take care of yourself Letsatsi, if you need anything at all you
know I got you, Kea u rata ngoanaka. She hugs me one last time and I
let it all out.

When we got res, I told my friends everything that transpired, we all

cried, Landiwe made me tea and they left just when I was about to
sleep I wanted to be alone, I faced my demons today I had to in order
to move on with my life, Sya's mom called to check how I was feeling, I
told her that I will be seeing my mom, she wanted me to take the first
flight to Durban tomorrow but I declined the offer, I am focusing on
me, school and my work, I am more determined to make a name for
myself. 20- Finding Out
It's been 3 months since I have graduated, I am now working for one of
the biggest environment research companies in the country, with my
job I get to travel a lot that's why I love it but it keeps me busy. Amahle
and I moved in together and my friendship with Letsatsi is drifting apart
we don't talk much or hang out anymore, my mother told me what
happened between her and mother I remember she did ask if I can
come with for support but it totally slipped my mind. I am at the
airport, I was in Congo for work I was suppose to come back tomorrow
but I wanted to surprise Amahle. I requested a Uber to my house, I
bought flowers and I got wine, it's 7pm she should be back from work
by now. The reason I came back early she has been complaining that I
don't spend time with her any more, she doesn't really understand how
demanding my career is and that I love it. I want us to go on a
spontaneous road trip so we can reconnect.

In the Uber I called Letsatsi I saw her Instagram story she's with her
friends, I need someone to talk to about my current situation with
Amahle, I think we should do lunch so we can catch up. "Hey" she says
and it sounds like she is laughing, I haven't heard her laugh in a minute
hearing it now makes me happy.

Me: Hey. I don't know what to say to her, it was never like this before it
was easy to talk to her.

Letsatsi: Syamthanda are you still there?

Me: Aha yes, sorry about that, are you good? I just got back from Congo
I was just checking up on you.

Letsatsi: I'm okay, I'm tired though, juggling school and work is a lot.

Me: I can imagine. Can I see you tomorrow for lunch so we can catch
up, I miss you?
Letsatsi: You will text me the time and place yea?

Me: I will. Talk to you later and it's okay to take a break...

We both laugh and she hangs up, I missed this before Amahle we spoke
everyday and spoke about everything. I am at my apartment and AJ's
car is parked out, I wonder what's he is doing here, I know he has
always been close with Amahle. The door is not locked, I opened it and
there's no one in the lounge.

I leave my bags, I put flowers and the wine on the table and make my
way upstairs to check the balcony maybe she's there, nothing. I stood in
front of my bedroom door and I hear muffled noises, I place my ear on
the door and as clear as I can hear moaning, could it be that AJ asked to
use the house since he still sharing with Sthe but he knows no fucking
in my bedroom, I opened the door and there she was, my girlfriend
riding my best friend, all I am seeing is red I charge up to them Amahle
jumps off the bed a wears her rope, "It's not what you think baby" she
says, the fuck is this bitch talking about, I got on the bed and started
punching AJ, punch after punch after punch

Amahle: Sya stop you will kill him. I stopped when I see blood all over
my white linen, fuck what have I done? I snap out of it and get off, he
coughs and spits out blood. I look at Amahle and she looks scared. "I'm
sorry bafo" Sya say's behind me, I'm just standing there looking at this
person I thought loved me how could she do this to me again with my
best friend. "Sya I'm so sorry baby, it was a mistake I promise."
Me: How long has this been happening Amahle? She kept quiet and it's
making me more mad.. "How long has this been going on for Amahle? I
swear if you don't talk I will kill him

Amahle: For weeks now, Sya you never home and I...

Me: I'm never home? Am I not working for us kanti? for our future?
uyazizwa uthini Amahle. AJ dawg of all the bitches you can fuck you
come for my girl bruh? I felt tears go down my face as my mother
words ring in my ear "are you sure about this son?" I got out the
bedroom with her following me. In the kitchen I washed my hands and
grab my car keys, took the wine bottle and downed it.

Amahle: Sya, baby can we talk about this? It was a stupid mistake I am
so sorry.

I looked at her and went to the garage and got inside my car, Amahle
keeps begging me to open the door so we can talk. I want to get out of
here before I kill someone, I start the car and drive off, I am drunk
that's for sure, I find myself in Letsatsi building I am sitting in my car
and with the wine bottle half empty, I don't think the security guards
will let me in. "Sanibona bo baba I need to go in" I say

Security guard 1: Dumela we can't let you pass when you are this drunk,
building rules.
I am a crying mess if anyone can see me now will laugh for sure, I think
the tears worked because he let me in he even had someone to escort
me to Letsatsi's room. I knocked for a good minute until she opened,
she looks at me shocked. "I am sorry to come unannounced but I need
you." She lets me in and she's with her friends.

Letsatsi: Guys let's continue this tomorrow please..

Landiwe: Hey Sya are you okay? I nod while stumbling.. "Okay chommie
call us if you need anything.. they got up and left.

Letsatsi: Sya what happened? why is there blood on your t-shirt, are
you hurt? she is kneeling in front of me I can see the concern look on
her face.

Me: You know Amahle and AJ are fucking, she gasps for air.. "In my
house

my bed? I am so stupid to let her back in my life."

Letsatsi: You are not stupid please don't say that. How did you get
here? Don't tell me you drove in your state? for that you are stupid
what if you got into a car accident or hit someone? She is shouting at
me and I am the one going through shit. She sighs and gets up. "Get up
Sya you need to shower and get out of those clothes" I got up but I am
stumbling and fell back on the couch.
She sighs and keeps quiet, she takes my sneakers and socks off, unties
my belt, take my pants off, then the t-shirt I am left with my boxers on.
My eyes are set on her she looks more beautiful then ever with her
natural hair out.

Me: What the fuck this is cold.

Letsatsi: Well you need it so you can sober up.

She left, I am having flash backs of what I just saw today the anger is
gone and sadness comes me over, how can they do this to me. I was in
the shower for a good 20 minutes and I have been crying for that long.
Letsatsi has some of my clothes that she borrowed and never returned
on the bed for me. "eat this and drink that." I didn't eat I just had coffee
she made, she's looking at me with eyes filled with pity "What
happened Sya?

I told her what had happened, we are in bed with my head laid on her
thighs, she has been brushing my head in silence. I sat up straight with
my back on the headboard. "I'm sorry I didn't know where to go."

Letsatsi: It's okay you would have done the same for me too. She got up
and so did I, "you should get some rest I will sleep on the couch."
Me: Please don't go, please stay. I say holding her arm, she is a bit
hesitant I move closer and cupped her face, I bend a bit and we kissed,
she's kissing me like she's been wanting to for such a long time. She
pulled out, my forehead is rested on hers I have missed her lips so
much, I have missed being in this position with her.

Letsatsi: We said we will never do this again Sya.

Me: I can't help it I want you Letsatsi.

Letsatsi: I’m scared this will complicate things.

Me: Shhhh this time it won't.

I kissed her again slowly capturing and enjoying every moment I pick
her up and sat on the bed with her straddling me, my hands caressing
her back this is getting steamer by the second, I took off the t-shirt that
she has on, I cupped her perky beautiful breast and I started sucking on
them, she lets out a soft moan, My dick is hard, in one swift move she is
laying on her back, our eyes are locked in, her eyes are filled with
desire. I left kisses on her neck and shoulders with every kiss she lets
out a soft moan, I kissed her every part of her body.

Letsatsi: Sya! "Hmmm" I say. She clears her throat. "I have never done
this before, I've never had sex." I quickly sat up straight, I wasn't aware
that she's still a virgin, she sits up straight and hugs are knees.
Me: I'm sorry I had no idea and this is not how you should lose it, it
should be with someone you love and when you are ready.

Letsatsi: I'm ready, I want you to be the one to do it.

Me: If we do this it will either make or break us.

Letsatsi: I know, now "Kiss me."

We are back to it this time with so much fire, I kissed her from her lips,
jaw line, shoulder down to her navel, took off her underwear, Hmmm
she wet, I kiss her inner thighs before sucking on her clit, she is panting
as I eat her out until she shivers and screams my name, I move up and
kissed her so she could taste her juices.

Me: are you sure you really want to do this? She nods yes. I slowly
make my way in, she flinches, "It will hurt a bit at first okay I will be
gently," I pushed in slowly and gently, I see tears in falling from the
corner of her eyes. "It's almost in, I'm sorry." I finally break through, I
move in and out it looks like she is feeling the pleasure, she is moaning
my name I feel her walls clench on my dick, I am about to cum my pace
is a faster but I'm still gentle, I thrust into her faster then before I
explode. 21- Deflowed
I am woken up by something that smells so good, when I opened my
eyes I meet by his, he has a smile on his face he kissed me. "Good
morning beautiful." That makes my heart dance a little, I get flash backs
from last night, I did it, I let him take my innocence and I do not regret
it. It was painful but after that I felt so good, he loved every part of my
body thinking about it is making clit dance.

Me: Good Morning. I say with a huge smile on my face. I try to sit up
but he pins me down and kisses the living shit out me his hands all over
me, my body has betrayed me I let out a moan and he giggles a lil.

Sya: Time to wake up, breakfast is ready. He made me breakfast too,

this feels nice he kissed me on last time and leaves the bedroom. I am
sitting up and my mind keeps going back to last night. I got up wore my
oversized t-shirt, went to the bathroom to wash and brush my teeth.
Sya knows his way around the kitchen thanks to his momma.

Me: It looks and smells good, when did you get the time to buy all these
things because I don't remember having anything in m fridge? It's a
spread for sure.

Sya: I went to the shops, I didn't want to wake you up and I needed to
go to the pharmacy, he passes me a glass with water and pills. "What's
this?" I ask. "Morning after pills, we didn't use protection yesterday and
I'm sorry about that." That honestly slipped my mind too, how careless
of us. I took the pill and we had breakfast. After eating I did the dishes
and he is standing behind me with his head resting on my shoulder I
can feel his dick on my ass, " are you okay? you don't feel sore?" I am a
bit but there's something about his voice right now that's making me
want him. I shake my head no, "But I can't hear you Tsatsi."

Me: I'm not sore, I'm good..

He turns me to face him my hands around his neck, we kissed, he picks

me up and places me on the kitchen counter, the t-shirt I have on is
now gone and his in between my thighs, his hands brushing on me, my
honey pot is juicy what the heck is going on with me his finger are
playing on my clit and I shiver, "you are so wet Letsatsi", he takes his
shorts off and I can't believe that thing was in side of me he is packing,
he picks me up and lays me on the couch, he grabs a condom and rolls
it down I can't even look at him I am so shy, he positioned himself on
my entrance and he slides his thick cock inside me, I gasp and he hisses,
he is slowly rotating his hips I can feel him grow larger and harder, I am
moaning his name he keeps telling me how good it feels. "Fuuuuck
Sya!" I scream, he goes in and out

in and out my walls clenched on his cock for dear life, his sweat
dripping on me his pace has changed, he is going faster he is rubbing on
my clit and I am sent to the edge. "Open your eyes Letsatsi" he says I do
as I am told.
I feel like our souls are one at this point, his eyes are telling me so I
don't know what is happening to me but I start crying so does he, a
rush of I don't know how to call it comes crashing it feels good though
he closes his eyes as he release to, we laying on the couch trying to
catch a breath, he gets up and takes a blanket in my room he cuddles
me and we pass out on the couch.
We are woken up by cellphone's ringing I try to get up he tightens his
hold "Let's ignore them". Whoever is calling doesn't stop it might be his
parents, he came here drunk AF last night maybe Amahle called his
mother, a feeling of regret instantly hits me when I think of her. I get up
to get the phones his father is calling his phone and his mother is calling
me, I rush to the couch, "Your parents are calling" he looks at me like
so, I answered my cellphone.

Me: Hello Ma.

Ma: Hey Letsatsi, we are trying to get a hold of Sya, his not answering
our calls, Amahle said he left in a frenzy last night have you seen or
spoken to him?

Me: His with me, he is okay hold on I will pass the phone to him. He
doesn't want to but I gave him a look until he takes my phone.

Sya: Hello, Hi ma... I know... I can't go back there... I don't want to talk
about it... You don't have to come to town... Letsatsi and I going
somewhere for the weekend.. Where are we going? "I'm okay mama
please don't panic... Okay hold on.." Please don't say anything I will let
them know. I nod and take the phone from him.

Me: Hello..
Ma: Hi my baby is he okay? what happened?

Me: He's okay, mama he will let you know when the time is right but I
will have my eyes on him. I have to go he will call you later. His mother
told me what he went through back when he was in high school I
understand her concerns. "We have to talk Sya."

Sya: I don't want to talk about it Letsatsi.

Me: No I am not having that, you came here drunk as fuck last night. I
have never been in your situation before but I know if I was you I would
have killed someone." But at some point you have to face it, you can't
stay in this little apartment with me, you know how you get. I can't
believe AJ how can he do such a thing to Sya out of all people. I have no
words, how do you console someone about this? "I don't have anything
to say right now but to say I am sorry you had to go through it. I am
here for you always okay." I feel like crying. "Come, lets go and
shower."

After our shower we went for a drive, we are driving to god knows
where, we have been driving for almost two hours when I see a sign
Bela-Bela, we stop at some hotel it looks nice. "What are we doing here
Sya?" I ask because we have no clothes, no tooth brushes, nothing just
the clothes we are wearing.

Sya: I want to be away from the city and everyone else I just want to be
with you. I sigh I kind of get it, maybe it will be good for him. I hug him
as tight as I can, he will be okay I know he will. "I think there are stores
around here we will get toiletries and clothes, he checked us in and we
are showed our room. "Can we switch our phones off for the weekend,
I don't want anyone disturbing us." He is asking to much, his parents
will be worried my friends included.

Me: Are sure about this? I mean everyone is going to flip. He nods, I
turn off my phone and we drive in silence again with his hands in mine.
22- It Over
We are back in JHB the weekend with Letsatsi was much needed, when
we turned our phones on we were flooded with missed calls my
parents where not impressed at all. All the feelings I have been hiding
for Letsatsi came back full force this weekend, I get emotional every
time I look her in the eyes, I can see she feels the same way as I do our
souls are connected but I have this little thing at the back of my head
that says she will hurt me like Amahle did. Speaking of Amahle, she's
the one that called my parents but didn't really say what the issue was.
My parents are in town in, they flew here Saturday morning and in my
father's words "They have turned the town upside down looking for
me." I haven't been to my house since last week Thursday, I asked
Letsatsi to come with me, I don't think I can face that bitch without
wanting to strangle her. We are parked outside, my heart beating so
fast I feel like I am going to throw up. "Breath Sya, breath" she says
next to me, she puts her hand on top of mine, her voice is calming me a
bit. We get off the car and head to the door, what is AJ doing here? He
looks like shit I give him that he is swollen.

Me: What is he doing here?

Ma: Sya my baby please sit down.

Me: No ma, not with that snake in my house.

Letsatsi: Sya.. I look at her and she shakes her head. I didn't realize I
was shouting, you see what I mean when I say she calms me. "I'll wait in
the car for you okay." I asked her not to leave I need her close to me,
she nods yes.

Baba: Sya where have you been? we have been so worried about you in
fact the both if you, you go a whole weekend with your cellphones off
do you know that your mother has been so worried about you two and
she's heavily pregnant.

Sya: We are sorry about that baba but I had to get out if the city, I
asked Letsatsi to turn her phone off.

Ma: Is anyone going to tell us what's happening here? Why does AJ

have a blue eye? No one said anything and I can see baba is getting
angry.

Baba: So no one is going to say anything? you make us come all the way
from Durban so we can look at you in the face? Khulumani man!!
Letsatsi jumps a little.
Ma: Don't shout baby. Sya my love what is happening? I have my eyes
set at Amahle she is now crying, it's taking a lot for me not to jump and
kick AJ's ass.

Me: Amahle and AJ would you like to tell my parents? since you two
called them. They both looked down with no answers, "Well mother
and father..."

Amahle: Sya please don't do this..

Ma: Let him speak sweetie so we can get to the bottom of this.

Me: AJ and Amahle are sleeping together

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I got her Thursday night from a work trip and these two were busy in
my bedroom. "Oh mntanami!" mama says "That's why his face is
looking like that. The room is quiet and the tension, Amahle is a crying
mess. "I want you two out of my house I never want to see you again
EVER!!
Baba: Ima kancane Sya. I'm so disappointed in the two of you especially
wena AJ you know what your friend went through because of the same
girl, Amahle bayazi kini ukuthi wenza izinto ezinje? we let you in our
house kanti uzodla ngoSya futhi? why don't you leave him if you don't
love him huh?

Amahle: I do love you Sya but you haven't been available, it's work this
work that. AJ was just a distraction I am so sorry.

Ma: I can't believe this, you are still kids you know that right you are in
your early twenties but already you want distractions Amahle? AJ
wathula? doesn't Sya mean anything to you? You all should be having
the time of your lives, flourishing in your careers but noooo If it's not
shacking up it's having sex like it's no bodies business, I will let your
parents know what you two have been up too, Amahle pack all your
bags sis you can't stay here

Amahle: I don't have anywhere to go.

Ma: Angazi ke sisi you can't stay I am sure AJ can help you out until you
find your feet... Baby I need the toilet and I am hungry.. baba helps her
up and takes her to the bathroom. Amahle kneels in front of me and
tries to hold my hands and I yank them off.

Amahle: I am so so sorry Sya I don't know what had gotten to me,

Ngicela ungixolele.

Me: I'm sorry too Amahle this time around you went to far. Get your
shit and leave, I'm done with you for good this time. She gets up and
walks the bedroom, Letsatsi follows her. I don't know why but she did.
It's AJ and I in the room I definitely want to punch him once again. "I
trusted with my whole life dawg wena ungenza nje? ngikuthanda
mfwethu?"

AJ: I have no excuse it was a spare of the moment thing, she called me
one day when she was drunk when I got here she started kissing me
and I couldn't resist it I went with the flow, I am sorry I but I started
liking her, when she needed me I was always there and you where not.
I am holding him up and I am about to punch him, "Sya stop" my mom
shouts. I let go of him.

Ma: Baby, Tendai my water just broke.. She groans and holds her
tummy, my father panics he doesn't what to do he grabs keys of the
rented car runs out leaving my mother standing there, he comes back
and holds her while walking to the car. "Baby my purse, we don't have
clothes for the baby" she started crying.

Me: I'll go get them please send me the name of the hospital you going
too. He nods and drives off speeding I push AJ out the way, I got my car
keys waited for Amahle to get the fuck out my house, I locked and got
inside the car and drive off leaving them standing there. 23- Welcome
Baby Uluthando
"Life Bedford Gardens Hospital." That's a text I got from baba, Letsatsi
and I have bought a few things we thought she might need, thank you
google I am driving there no, I feel bad that I had to put all that
pressure on my mom it was selfish of me. When we got to the hospital I
called my dad but it went to voicemail we enquired and where sent to
the maternity ward, that's where we are waiting, My mom is in the
delivery room already. I am shaking I hope they both making it out.

Letsatsi: She's going to be okay, don't worry.

Me: I'm scared what if something bad happens? she wasn't due until
next month. I shouldn't have left, I should have called her. Letsatsi
holds my hand and she lays her head on my shoulder.

We have been sitting here for hours and I haven't heard anything,
Letsatsi went to go get something we can drink and snack on. I feel
someone tapping my shoulder when I look up it's baba he has a big
smile on his face. "Unjani uma and the baby?

Baba: They are okay, your mom is a little tired the baby is healthy she's
so big.

Me: It's a girl? He nods yes.. "Can I see them?"

Baba: How about you go home rest and come back tomorrow It's been
a long day.

Sthe hands me my drink and nods I hug baba and we leave the hospital.
I am driving Letsatsi back to her place we are both quiet. After dropping
her off we chilled for a while she has class tomorrow and has an
assignment she had to complete I really don't feel like going to my
place but I will have to, I called Sthe to meet me at the crib so we can
chop it up I really haven't told him what happened.

I have showed and ordered some food I am busy scrolling and looking
at pictures I took of Letsatsi when I heard a knock on my door it Sthe...
"Nja yami" we fist pump I let him in. I go to the kitchen and grab two
beers.

Sthe: Yah zithini? what did AJ do?

Me: He didn't tell you? he shakes his head.. "Ungishaya ngesitina

brazo." I told him everything that happened he is pretty shocked that AJ
would stoop that low.

Sthe: Inzima le mfwethu I don't even know what to say, I am

disappointed in him, ekaAmahle angiyiphathi, I hate to say I told you so
boi. He did try talking me out of dating Amahle again and I didn't listen.
"But how are you? where's your head at?

Me: I'm embarrassment and disrespected bruh I don't know where to

from now, it's a lot going on now that Letsatsi and slept together and...

Sthe: The fuck!! When did this all happen?

Me: Same night I got back worse she was a virgin bruh.

Sthe: Kuningi and wiOne, ai mfana. So are you guys in a relationship or

what?

Me: We haven't really spoke about that but I think I have deeper
feelings for her...

Sthe left really late last night I am not sure when baba came in. I called
in sick at work today, I asked Prudence to come in and clean the house
since my parent will be staying here for sometime. I am got rid of my
old bed I don't want to be reminded of those two rats

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It will be in the garage or I will give it to Prudence, I called Letsatsi and
she has classes and she will see me later.
I'm now at the hospital to see my mom and my littler sister I walked in
her ward with balloons and flowers she is breastfeeding and has a big
smile on her face, baba left very early in the morning. "Hello family."

Baba: Hey son

Ma: Hey baby are those for me?

Me: Yes they are. How are you mama? I'm really sorry for putting so
much stress on you it wasn't my intension.

Ma: It's okay my love, you needed time to yourself I understand. Woza
uzobona usis wakho, her name is Uluthando. I held her after she had
burped, she is so chubby and she's sucking on her lip, she has her eyes
closed and has a lot of hair on her head, she is holding my finger.

Me: She's so beautiful, congratulations you guys. Hey there little sis, I
am you older brother and I promise I will protect you.

Ma: I'm getting discharged today and I will spend a week here before
we go back home, I miss my children.

Me: Ubaba ushilo, The house will be ready by then, I also got a new bed
earlier today.

We are back home, Uluthando likes to sleep she is it like the triplets,
they used to cry a lot all she does is eat and sleep which mama is
excited about, I asked Letsatsi to request to place after I told her mom
got discharged she is with mom and the baby. My dad and I are at the
balcony braaiing meat for dinner.
Baba: How are you feeling today? I wish people can stop asking me
that.

Me: I'm okay dad, taking it one step at a time it hurts because it was my
best friend.

Baba: I know son but I know you, you'll bounce back and we always
here for you. 24- Modisa Siblings
I've learned something important about myself this year and now I
want to share this with my family but I know my mother will disown
me. I've known that I am different compared to the boys in my school, I
would hang out with the girls most of the time and when I am home I
would play soccer with the boys around my house. As I went through
primary school I started feeling attracted to this boy I play soccer with. I
thought it was just a phase but the feelings grew stronger, we are
friends and I know telling him about my feelings will destroy that since
he is straight. My sister is taking me out this weekend. I will have to lie
to my mother and tell her we have a soccer game in town, she doesn't
car about that. I'm really excited I haven't seen her in a long time but
we talk over the phone or we facetime, she had ask that I invite Lesedi
too, Letsatsi has a good heart I don't think I will ever try and have a
relationship with someone as mean as our sister but I invite her.
Speaking of Lesedi she hasn't been okay for some time now whenever
my father is around she gets jumpy for some reason and she was very
close with him. When I got back from school I washed my uniform and
did my homework, before I forget I have to tell Lesedi about Letsatsi's
request. "Knock knock Lesedi."
Lesedi: Come in. She is curled up on her bed and it looks like she has
been crying.

Me: Are you okay? Why are you crying?

Lesedi: It's nothing.

Me: Okay. Letsatsi is inviting us out this weekend.

Lesedi: You and who?

Me: You and me. She looks at me with a shocked expression. "What?"

Lesedi: I'm just shocked that she would want to hang out with me after
everything I have done to her. I have been doing a lot of thinking. I
regret it so much because she always had my back... Hmmm that's a
first

Me: Maybe this will be the start to fixing the relationship. Can you
please cook?

Lesedi: Maybe you're right, Okay I will.

My father drinks most of the time and he doesn't work, he is not
around. Could be he is drunk wherever he is. I am not sure why my
mother had to get back with this prick. Mom is back by 7pm, her man is
not home and she's angry. We are having supper while watching the
news. When he walks in with a beer bottle my sister get's up and goes
to her room. "Are you drinking Kgolo again?" My mom says.

Kgolo: Please don't start, woman I am hungry go and get me food. She
does that and goes to the kitchen. "What are you looking at?" he says. I
am pretty pissed off at this man. My mom walked in with a plate of
food

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after eating I washed the dishes and went to bed. I called Letsatsi and
Lesedi agreed to meet us. She's scared but also happy about it.
Lesedi

I am being sexually abused by my father, my own father. It started with

him spanking my butt but I told him if he does it again I will tell mom, It
started around April during Easter holidays when my mother was away
for a church thing. Letsego was not around, that day he came to my
room and he was smelling of alcohol, he sat on the bed and rubbed on
my butt, I got up and told I do not like what he is doing. He got up too,
pushed me back to the bed and took ripped my skirt off me he then
raped me. I shouted but there was no one there. When he was done,
he told me if I ever tell anyone he will tell my mother to kick me out like
she did with Letsatsi. The day she was here many months ago when
said he hinted in wanting to rape her I believed her but I couldn't say
anything I have no where to go and I have no job, I want to see my
sister and I want to apologize for being a mean girl.

She looks happy. I usually see pictures on her Instagram and Facebook,
she's not a waitress either. Life is going very well for her, I am truly
happy for her I hope she forgives me because I do need a sister. 25-
Examinations
Whooo finals have been so hectic I can't wait until they are over, it's
examination season and I have been studying my ass off, I eat, drink
and sleep in my books. Sya is out of the country for work he left end of
October since then I have been cooked up at res or the school library
the only time my friends and I hang out it's over studying and boy am I
so glad it will be over soon. I took a break from my part-time job I will
go back once I am done. Sya and I really haven't labelled our
relationship it's just vibes but I enjoy every minute of it we video call all
time despite the time difference. I told my friends about what
happened between us two, Lerato screamed inside the library almost
getting us kicked out, she reckons I am in love with him because every
time we brink up his name I have this hug smile on my face and I have
this glow that didn't exist before him, I think it's the sex.

This weekend my brother I am taking my brother out I have been saving

money that I get from my part-time job I had asked him to invite Lesedi,
I love my sister and I believe we can try and fix our relationship my
siblings are my family. I am on my way to the exam venue but first I
need to grab a coffee and a blueberry muffin, I bump into AJ when I
leave the coffee house I haven't seen him since the day Sya's mom gave
birth so this is awkward.

AJ: Hey Letsatsi. He looks better I just hope he tries and works things
out with his buddy, Sya misses him at times.

Me: Hey AJ, how are you? I give him a hug

AJ: I have better days. I'm here to grab a coffee and get back to work. I
sigh I feel really bad for him.

Me: Aaah okay cool. He starts to walk away and I stop him. "AJ hold up,
how is Amahle?" I know how it feels to be kicked out with no where to
go I feel bad for her and I feel bad for being in love with her ex, yes I
said it I love him.

AJ: She's alright, she managed to find a place in Centurion and Sya?

Me: He went back to Congo he'll be back for the holidays hopefully. He
nods..

AJ: Well I have to get going tell him I said hi.

Me: Will do. I walk to campus...

It's Friday and I am home and I am PMSing, I am moody, fatigued and I
have food cravings. I already showered since I woke up with blood on
my sits

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I've already done my laundry and I am just lazing around the house, I
am craving for KFC but it's still early in the morning. I didn't speak to
Sya yesterday I received his text when I was asleep already, he was
busy and was out in wild. The time is 10:57 so it's 09:57 in Congo we
are a one hour head.. His phone rings and goes to voicemail, I try again
and when I was about to drop it he answers.
Sya: Hey baby. He has been calling me that lately it melts my heart but
he still hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend.

Me: Hey I was about to hang up, are you busy?

Sya: Nope, I was in the shower when you called. I'm so tired I worked
till late, how are you? how was the exam yesterday?

Me: I'm okay, I'm also tired and my emotions all over the place.

Sya: What's wrong? talk to me.

Me: I don't know I think it's pms but I will be okay. I bumped into AJ
yesterday... There's a long pause, "He said hi."

Sya: Ai Letsatsi let's speak about some else please.. I kind of knew he
will dismiss it.

Me: Okay sorry. I asked my brother to go with me tomorrow and invite

my sister, I also don't know how to feel about that.

Sya: That's great nje are you worried she won't come or she might start
something.

Me: I'm worried she might not come but Letsego said she agreed to
meeting up. I miss you so much by the way.

Sya: There's nothing to be worried about she'll come. Hmmm you do?
you miss me or what I do to you? he chuckles.

Me: You are so silly, but I miss you and what you do to me. It's going to
be a whole month without getting some and before he left he left me
satisfied and full, "his words not mine."

Sya: I'll be back soon, before the holidays. I sent you a little something I
know you said I should but I would like you to have it since I can't send
a period care pack.... Just after he said that a beep goes of on my
cellphone, I ask him hold so I can check what it is he has sent me R2000.

Me: Sya I say in my disapproving voice. "You really don't have to, you
have done so much for me already."

Sya: I know but it will break my heart if you don't take it. He has done
so much for me this past year, including his parents and I feel bad for
accepting anything more now that I get paid way better than my
previous job. I made a mental note to get him something for when he
comes back.

Me: Thank you so much.

Sya: Don't sweat it. I will call you later enjoy your day and Letsatsi
please wait for me. I know what he means by that and I wouldn't want
anyone else but him. 26- Siblings Date
It's Saturday and I am excited but nervous at the same time, I practically
haven't spoken to my sister in over a year I don't know how she will
react. I have showered, I cleaned my room yesterday and I am looking
for something to wear. Speaking of my room Sya's dad definatly came
through for the girlie, It's a studio apartment type of situation I don't
share a shower no share a kitchen I low-key think it was Sya's doing
either way I am excited. I have no idea what to wear, high waisted
ripped mom jeans, a white crop top, sage crop denim jacket, white
sneakers and cute crossbody bag I got from Shein. We are going to mall
of Africa, we will have lunch first because our movie starts a little late, I
need to also stock up on my feminie products and a few snacks. I have
texted my brother that I am on my way to the mall and he should call
me when he gets there, I am waiting on my Uber. Another thing I since I
met Sya I am kind of popular around this building especially the girls it's
annoying really.

I am waiting for my siblings life grand café restaurant it's my second

time Sya introduced me to it. I was when I see Letsego he comes
running and stops to wait for Lesedi, she is looks different. My sister is
the confident type when she walks in a room you feel it right now it
feels like a different person I stand as soon as the close to our table.

Letsego: OMW Letsatsi he hugs me, why do you look so different?

Me: No I don't I still look the same. Now move, hey sis. I'm not going to
try and hug her she might not like it. "Please sit so we can order I am
starving."

Lesedi: Hi.. We sat and we ordered. "You look beautiful." WOW shocker
much.

Me: Thank you so much sis. How have you guys been, how's mom?

Letsego: I have been good almost done with exams, he says that an
rolls his eyes. We all laughed. "Anyways mma usharp." Tell us about
you where's that boyfriend of yours?
Me: He's not my boyfriend, his my bestfriend. He gave me a look that
says yea right. Our food got here and the only people yapping around
here is my brother and I, Lesedi giggles here and there but is quiet I
figured I will let her be for now and we will speak when we are alone.

When we where done I went to dischem to get a few essentials that we

all needed and now we in MR Price to get a few clothes, I saved up for
this so Sya's 2K is a bounce. My Letsego is in the fitting room and we
are busy looking at clothes I will ask what's wrong, I hope I don't get an
attitude. "I.." we both speak at the same time, "You can go first.." I say.

Lesedi: I'm sorry Letsatsi. She says in a low voice, I can't believe I am
hearing those words. "I'm sorry for being such a bad person to you
when all you ever did was be a big sister to me." She has tears going
down her cheeks

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she is going to make me cry, I take out a tissue from my bag pass it to
her.
Me: It's okay sis I was never mad at you I just wanted you to see me.

Shopping and movie done we requested to my place since time was on

their side they'll make it back before it's too late. I am sitting on the
carpet while these two admire the place, back home it was a 3
bedroom house, toilet, kitchen and sitting room nothing fancy.
Lesedi: sena se setle, ke na le bonnete ba hore e turu (this is nice, I am
sure it's expensive).

Me: Thank you. Come and sit down I want to hear what you have been
getting up too.

Letsego: Aaarg nothing much sis I can't wait to finish high school and
move out of Soweto, I wan to be my own person.

Me: He bana Lestego, Next year is in a month, so are you ready for
grade 12 and it's work?

Letsego: I've been ready kgaitsedi.

Me: Lesedi you awfully quiet is everything okay?

Letsego: She has been like this for a while now.

Lesedi: I'm fine.

Me: But you not, what's making you cry? She is crying again I feel really
bad for asking. "Do you want to talk about it?" She shakes her head no,
I got up from the floor and I hugged her tight she cries even more. My
poor sister I would like for her to tell me what's wrong. "I know
something is wrong and I would like you to tell me so I can help you the
best way I can."

Lesedi: Ntate o nkopile(Father rapped me). She lets out a sharp cry,
Letsego and I are looking at each other with shock. I am crying with my
sister I feel her pain because that man wanted to try it with me but was
not successful but it was a traumatic experience.

Letsego: Did you tell mma? She shakes her head no, I understand our
mother will rather choose her man over her own kids.

Me: We need to open up a case, we have tell rakgadi(aunt) and

bomalome(uncles).

Lesedi: We can't do that, he said he will tell mama I'm lying and will kick
me out. I have no plan B Letsatsi, I won't have anywhere to go,
bomalome ba rona ba dula brits (our uncles live in Brits).

Me: We will come up with a plan but you shouldn't go back there.

Lesedi: Where are we going to go? I have to plan what's so ever and I
have to think fast my mind is racing 100km a second, how can that evil
man get out of prison and does the same thing again to his own child?
Me: Okay listen if you do go home Letsego make sure you with her 24/7
and look your doors I will call rakgadi and tell her once that's done we
will go to the police station to open up a case.

This is to much for once person to handle I really have resentment

towards my mother right now and I blame her this is happening. Lesedi
ended up wanting leave, I requested for them and ask they call me
when they get home. I am on facetime call with my aunt.

Rakgadi: Dumela ngwanaka.

Me: Dumela rakgadi, did I catch at the right time? Can we talk?

Rakgadi: Yes we can talk. what's the problem?

Me: It's about Lesedi.

I told her what Lesedi told me, she feels bad and she's agree, she
agreed to tell bomalome to come to Johannesburg. I will have to face
my mother again. 27- Can you be my girlfriend
I have a dinner date planned out for us I want to cheer her up as well.
Letsatsi told me what happened to her sister she was able to get her
uncles to help them and thank god that man was arrested and her
sister is going through therapy including her mother all thanks to her
aunt. As for me I came back at the beginning of the month and I will be
going to Durban for the holidays soon, I wish she would come with me
but she has to be there for her siblings. She has no idea I have
something planned for us all I said was look your best I will pick you up
at 6pm. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend officially as much as we are
always together we still tell people close to us we are just friends and I
am tired of that I have strong feelings for the girl and I can't hide it. I'm
sure you might say it's a little bit soon after the Amahle thing I know it
might be but if we being honest I loved her too but just a coward to tell
her that.

I am in my apartment a part of me wants to sell it, it has memories I

would rather forget I will have to speak with my father about it.
Tonight's outfit is a pair of black chinos, Polo golf t-shirt and Gucci
loafers with tassels, fresh hair cut and freshly shaved, I am pulling out
the stops tonight. I am done and ready to go, I don't know how this
night will end but I want it to end on a good note, I am taking her to
Marble in Rosebank it has sweeping views.

I called her when I was outside, I got her flowers and LV Iconic Bracelet
earlier today I have planned this to the T. I get out and lean on the car
as soon as I see her, she looks good in nude, she is wearing a nude
mesh midi dress, sparkling block heels and a dazzling evening purse,
minimal makeup and a nude lip, her body in this dress god damn!!!

Letsatsi: Well, well Mr. what is the occasion? You got me flowers?
Thank you they look so good.
Me: Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. I get the door for her and
rush to my side, I surprise myself sometimes at how romantic I can be.
"You look so gorgeous."

Letsatsi: Thank, thank you. Where are we going?

Me: A work function. I lie well not technically there is a work function
but I didn't attend it.

Letsatsi: Oh I forget you work for a fancy company, we both laugh.

We are listening to one of our favorite artists Dvsn with me singing here
and there, I'm not good at it if I must say so myself. When we get to the
restaurant our waiter leads us to our table, I pull a chair for her. She sits
and I sit across her. I have ordered for us in advance the waiter comes
and pours us champagne we a celebrating her for being done with
exams and well me for landing my dream job. She takes a sip of her
drink and I can't keep my eyes off her, I am nervous. She notices and
she blushes, I smiled back at her and we keep gazing at each other we
are in our little bubble lost in each others eyes. I have never felt this
way about a woman, I've been in love before but it never felt like this.
The waiter comers with our appetizers.

Letsatsi: I thought this was a work function but it doesn't look that way.
Me: I wanted to surprise you with dinner to celebrate our
achievements this year, I know we were distant towards each other but
I am happy that it worked out this way.

I watch her as she takes the first bite, her lips look so perfect, she
makes a soft moan and my dick twitches fuck! I think she heard me hiss
because she is pouting and it looks cute. The waiter continues to refill
our glasses

we are not speaking much but enjoying gazing at one another I'm sure
people sitting around us can feel our energy. Our dinner plates are
placed on the table, a light meal for her and a heavy one for me, for
tonight's activities I have to eat.
Letsatsi: Hmmm that is so good, she says after taking a piece of my
meat from my plate WOMEN!!

Me: You want to share?

Letsatsi: Oh, no hun I'm full.

Me: I got us dessert. Just then the waiter comes with a plate that has a
chocolate brownie and vanilla ice-cream, "can you be my girlfriend"
written in chocolate. She is looking at me with glossy eyes she wants
cry, she nods her head and says yes shyly, I reach towards her before
she can raise her napkin I put my hand softly on her cheek and lean
towards her, she leans towards me and I kissed her softly. She can’t
help but smile when she eats her dessert she loves it, her innocent
pleasure makes its straight into my heart. I took out the gift in my
pocket and give it to her, she opens it and it amazed at what she sees it.

Letsatsi: I love this so much everything about tonight was perfect. I love
you so much Syamthanda. Did she just say she loves me? I leaned over
and kissed her time is standing still, everything around us fades away.

We are in my bedroom I have taken off her clothes and admiring her
perfect body, I kissed her softly with my hands loving every inch of her.
I picked her up and placed her on the bed, I go down leaving kisses all
over, her legs on my shoulders, I'm in between her thighs and my
tongue around her clit, she is moaning in such a sexy way, she is
dripping and my mouth is welcoming as she releases. I went up and she
kisses me oh so passionately. My dick is hard and wants to buried
inside, I moved my dick up and down to lubricate it with her juices, I
rubbed it on he clit making her arch her back I positioned myself and
met a snug, wet hole. I pushed in more and more slowly until her walls
clenched on to me, I start moving slowly, I love how she welcomes me,
I'm moving in and out, nice and steady I feel her nails sink in my skin,
her walls clenching on me, I feel my body heat up even more I am
about to cum we both release at the same time. 28- I Love You
Her lips pouted, the sun is hitting her smooth dark skin, I have been up
sitting admiring her beauty, she said she loves me last night I was
tongue tied. I think that the uni-verse tried to keep us apart a year ago
and it did a shitty job. Because otherwise, we wouldn’t be laying
together like this. I kissed her and she opened her beautiful eyes, she
smiles "You sure like staring." she says, I kissed her again and she kisses
me back.

Me: I'm just admiring your beauty baby. She blushes, I have noticed she
does that a lot if I call her baby.

Letsatsi: *she giggles... "Why thank you handsome. What time is it?"

Me: I don't know but all I want to do is stay indoors naked.

Letsatsi: Whooo I like the sound of that but after last night I am hungry.

Me: Let's go shower and will order breakfast. She nod we kiss but this
time deeply, she is a freak and I can't seem to stay away from her, as
soon as I see her I get a boner I think I might be obsessed with our sex
life. I lead her to the bathroom, I pass her a new towel and toothbrush.
We are in the shower I am standing behind her with my dick rubbing on
her ass, she turns to face me and her arms on my neck, she is on her
tippy toes, and we kiss. “I need you” she whispers, Her hand is on my
dick moving it up and down, she moves from my lips down, my chest,
my six pack, down to my torso, she kneels while the water is running I
close the shower and look her deep in the eyes she puts my dick in her
mouth will still maintaining eye contact I am amazed at how freaky this
is one is getting. She does something with her teeth that sends me off
edge "Oh my God" I scream, she sucks and deep throats and all I do is
moan out her name. I pull her up and bend her over I am hitting it from
the back her folds have welcomed me, I move slow and steady, in and
out, she screams my name, I spank her ass here and there and I play
with her clit, she's close her body is tensing up and her walls clenching
on me, I go in and out hitting every corner

she cums and I continue pounding, her screams are sensational. I

quickly pull out and I come.
After our steamy shower we got dressed and I ordered breakfast. We
will watch movies and maybe cook later one so we might also need to
get a few groceries. We are watching cartoons I am taking snaps of her
while she's not noticing I do that a lot, my phone rings and it's my
queen facetiming me. "Hello my beautiful mother."

Ma: Hi Sya, unjani?

Me: I'm great how are you? how is Ulu?

Ma: What has you all excited? what are you up too? gosh my mother...

Me: I'm up to nothing, can't I be excited? Life is too good.

Ma: Awu my baby boy I'm happy yazi that you in that space, I am
worried about you. She worries a lot this one.

Me: Mom I'm not a boy anymore, Sbani, Awande and Msimelelo are
boys not me. I'm happy too mom truly. I say that looking at this woman
next to me she really does make me happy. "Mom, I have to go I will
call you in a minute."

Ma: Haibo ngane I want to tell you something important first. We will
spend Christmas in Johannesburg everyone is coming even Ryan. Okay
bye now. I look at my screen after she hangs up where are all these
people going to stay? it's a good thing then I will be able to spend the
holidays with my girl. Our order get's here she plates it and warms it up
a bit and serves me. “That thing you brought up last night. . . you
caught me off guard, so I didn’t know what to say." That's me referring
to what she said.. She looks a me while sipping her orange juice. "Well, I
love you too.” It comes out so uncertain, and I wish I could start over
and say it smoothly and confidently. I tried again, louder. “I love you."
She’s staring at me like she’s never seen me before. "I mean it and I
know we still young and stuff but I want you to be my forever and I
promise you, you will be."

Letsatsi: Are you trying to make me cry? ha ha ha. I love you too Sya I
might not be good at this and I might make a few mistakes but I
wouldn't mind being your forever, come and kiss me. That kiss lead to
something more.

We are in Woolworths Sandton to get a few things we will need to

make dinner, I am craving prawn fried rice. I know my way around the
kitchen I used to help my mom out before I left Durban but laziness and
alcohol stopped me from doing that. We have got all the ingredients I
will need, got a wine, beer and champagne, we are standing at the que
I am tickling Letsatsi and she is giggle, a few kisses on the cheek here
and there people around us are annoyed about our PDA and quiet
frankly I don't care. As walk out we are met by AJ and Amahle, Letsatsi
looks at me, I kiss her hand and we continue with our way.

AJ: Sya dawg. I ignore him. I don't have time to speak to snakes, I don't
want him to ruin my day.

Letsatsi: That was awkward, are you okay? she asks me soon as we get
to my car. She's right about one thing it was awkward.

Me: I'm good baby why wouldn't I be? She shrugs.. I'm good baby.

Letsatsi: I feel bad Sya. I mean I was helping her pack two months ago
now she sees you kissing my hand.

Me: Letsatsi you panic to much and I don't want you too. I made a
mistake and I see that now I shouldn't have agreed to being friends in
the first place. Can you please do me this solid babe, we will never
speak nor think about those people again?

Letsatsi: Okay. The ride on the car is filled with laughter, silly
conversations with her speaking Zulu which she does a lot it's still a
little funny to me but I find it cute. The night ended with us a little tipsy,
full and satisfied. 29- Christmas in Johannesburg
I don't know if god is by my side or not but I am back in Soweto, mother
dearest said I can come back. She is going through therapy our
relationship is not there yet, she hasn't said sorry either, it's just hi and
bye. My sister and I are getting there we talk a lot, when she's not okay
emotionally she's able to open up to me. My younger brother came out
to me a a month ago as gay. I was surprised but a part of me kind of
knew. The thing is, Lesedi and mom still don’t know and he’s really
scared to come out to them. I think he wants to, but isn’t sure if it will
go well especially since mom is going through what she's going
through.

My mother went to Brits and we stayed behind only because Sya's

mom invited us for Christmas lunch, I rather be in Johannesburg then
Brits, it is boring and my aunts can't cook. My siblings are coming with
me, Letsego is excited and Lesedi is nervous so am I. Sya told me both
of his grandfathers are coming. This is my second Christmas with Sya's
family but first one with my siblings and his grandparents from Richards
Bay so the nerves have me on chock hold. Sya will be picking us up and
it will be his first time meeting my siblings. We went out shopping
yesterday "you need a new dress" Lesedi said. I don't know how this
will go his family knows us as friends and he is going to tell them we are
now a couple. I am wearing a ditsy floral midi tea dress in blue, white
sandals I got at H&M and a white small bag, I did knotless braids a week
ago I wore my LV bracelet that Sya got me, earrings and neckless I got
from Lovisa and for the scent I sprayed my Armani my way perfume I
got myself. I am ready and Sya is waiting for us outside.

He is with Sbani, I haven't seen this little fella in forever, he is so grown

and he is tall. My man, yes I said looks so good in his fade cut and curly
hair. He is wearing a blue shirt, denim shorts, white sneakers and
Bulgari pilot-frame sunglasses not forgetting Syamthanda smells
expensive. Sbani gets off the front seat and sits at the back after
opening the door for the two I am with, he is such a gentleman. Sya
kisses me gaining a "ewu get a room" from Sbani.

Sya: Sthandwa sami. I love it when he speaks his language in his sexy
deep voice it makes me blush.

Me: Hi babe

marry Christmas.. "Hello Sbani"

Sbani: Unjani Letsatsi? My Zulu is getting is way better then before I tell
you.

Me: Ngiyaphila. This man sitting next to me laughs a little I roll my eyes,
he mocks my Johannesburg Zulu. "Sya and Sbani this is Lesedi my sister
and that's Letsego my little brother."

Sbani: Nice to meet you guys, I'm Sbani and that's my old brother Sya.

Sya: Usuyaphapha ke manje. "Dumelang guys.(Hello guys)" He is also

learning.

Letsego: It's nice to meet you.

I am in awe when we get to the house it's in Bryanston. It has a
swimming pool, surrounded by beautiful decking, rooftop
entertainment area with spectacular views. This ultimate luxury living,
the décor look exquisite they really went out this time around. We get
inside the house his mother and aunts are in the kitchen, Aunt Mbali his
stepmother is also here I wonder how these people do it my own
mother did like me because of my dad but this family in one unit.
"Dumelang mama" I say when we walk into the kitchen.

Ma: Letsatsi finally I have been waiting for you how are you? she gives
me one big warm hug. "Oh, hi guys" she says to my brother and sister,
they both wave and say hi.

Me: I'm good ma how are you? these are my siblings Letsego and
Lesedi.

Ma: Welcome and thank you for joining us for lunch. Sya take them to
the TV room while we finish up here.

Lesedi: Can I please help with anything?

Ma: Thank you my baby, I just need those Salads taken outside for me
come I will show you. Sya takes me and Letsego to the tv room.
Letsego: Your house is beautiful Sya.

Sya: Thank you bru. Can I steal your sister for a bit? he nods yes and he
takes me by hand and leads the way to a bedroom. He sits on the bed
and I sit on his lap. "You look pretty as always and that dress hmmm"
he says that biting his lip, he makes me feel his boner and I can't help
but laugh.

Me: You so nasty Mr.

Sya: It's your doing baby. My hand on his cheek I lean over and kiss him.
"Hmmm I want to take you right now but my mom will come looking
for you." Please tell me why are we such horny rabbits at 20 and 22
years?

Me: Then we have to stop before it's too late. I kiss him one more time
before standing up, his eyes have undressed and fucked me already.
"Whose love home is this?"

Sya: Mine. I opened my eyes wide open.

Me: Excuse you me this huge house yours? What?

Sya: It huge right? it's a gift from grandpa Ryan. I am shocked I knew
Sya was monied but I didn't think he was this rich. "You look so
shocked."

Me: That's because I am. I sit next to him I want us to have a serious
talk.. "I'm not with you because of what you can get me and what your
family has. When I told you I love you I meant every word."

Sya: Where's that all coming from?

Me: I don't know. I am overwhelmed I guess and scared that people will
start saying those things.

Sya: You should stop thinking about what people think about you. I
know you not the type of person and that's why I love you.

Me: You are such a smooth talker.

It didn't take long before I was a regular at his family dinners. His
mother cooks the best meals I have ever had. Today it's different
everyone from his family is here and I am nervous. We are sitting
outside in this huge dinner tables I have lost count on how many people
are here include the kids. The lunch goes down well with laughter and
jokes here and there. "So you are the young lady that has taken my
grandsons heart." He says in his cape coloured accent. I chock on my
drink my sister brushes my back and passes me the napkin, I don't
know what to say, my eyes quickly land on Sya who has a huge smile on
his face.

Uncle Sipho: He has a huge smile on his face I guess it's her. The
laughter on this table I want to dig a whole a hide in it.

Ma: Leave the poor girl alone Sipho but to answer you question dad yes
she is.

Everyone has they eyes on me with smiles on their faces I must be

dreaming which black household does this? After the lunch was done
my sister and I helped with the dishes she has been snapping and
posting on Instagram. "kgaitsedi (Sister), they love you."

Me: Tšoantšiso! (Drama). They are polite and generous people they
have helped me a lot too.

Lesedi: I see but how do you fell? ka botshepehi(honestly)

Me: I'm happy kgaitsedi (Sister). I had it rough growing up and having
Sya's mom love me as her own is amazing. She hugs me and I hug her
back. "What is it?" I say giggling.

Lesedi: You deserve it. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me
another chance. She's about to make me cry. "ahem" Sya's mom clears
her throat while getting in kitchen. Lesedi let's go of me and wipes her
tears I didn't even see she was crying.

Ma: I love what I am seeing and I'm happy you two are in a good space.
I told her everything. Can you please help me with dessert? We took it
the table. "Hmm Chocolate pavlova my favorite Tendai says.
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Everyone is sitting in lounge and having drinks well not us I am having

juice, all the stories grandpa Tendai is telling are funny and very
intriguing. Sya gets up and hits his glass with his keys we all keep quiet
and look at him.

Sya: Family I have something to say. Firstly thank you for showing me
how to love I know at some point in my life I didn't want to believe it
does exist, I was to young to even know what a soulmate it until I saw
my parents find their soulmates, bobaba(Dads) and not forgetting my
grandfathers thank you for being great role models, my grandmothers
and all of you my mothers thank you for showing me how love is
suppose to feel. Secondly thank you everyone who told me to focus on
school and forget about other things. Thirdly I want to say I have found
my soulmate family Letsatsi is my girlfriend and I love her.

Grandpa Gcabashe: Welcome to the family my child.

A lot of wooo's and aaahs and I am sitting her blushing and scared at
the same time. This family is different, they be doing white people shit
but I love them and I love this idiot standing next me. 30- New Years
Eve
I woke up to my arms wrapped around the love of my life, yes I said the
love of my life. We have been spending most of our days in my new
house that I love very much. Both my grandparents surprised me with
this gorgeous house and I'm glad to say we have christened everything
in house. Christmas lunch was beautiful with my family. I can't wait to
have this for the rest of my life. Today is new years ever and we don't
have any plans, I think we will spend it in Durban with my family and
some of my friends. I got up with her moving a bit while I kissed her a
beautiful plumbed lips before getting out of bed.

Letsatsi: Where are you going? she says with her eyes closed. She looks
so beautiful.

Me: I need to call baba real quick, go back to sleep babe. I kissed her
one more time and she went back to sleep. I went to the bathroom in
our room. I brushed my teeth and took a shower, once I was done I got
dressed and went to my office to call my dad. His phone rang for
sometime and he answered.

Baba T: Hey son, why so early, is everything okay? I love how this man
cares for me like I am his own he has done all in his power to give me
the life I have now, plus I really wanted to go home today I miss my
mother so much and I need to talk to her about things.
Me: I'm okay dad, I need the jet. I would like to come home with
Letsatsi.

Baba T: Are you sure you okay Syamthanda? he only calls me by my full
name if he get worried or angry.

Me: I'm sure.. I laughed a little.. I miss mom and I miss home.

Baba T: Yoh you want to take my wife away from me now? he says
laughing. Okay I will get the pilot is 10am good for you?

Me: It's perfect, oh and dad aunty Zinhle will be there to setup by the
beach. He laughs again.

Baba T: You remind me so much of me when I first met your mother.

Okay son I will see you soon and will text you the details of your flight,
is it just you two?

Me: Yes.

Baba T: Wakhula Sya. We spoke for sometime and we dropped the call.
I went back to the bedroom and find her in the bathroom brushing her
teeth. I know she wanted to spend sometime with her siblings but her
mother asked if they would come to Brits but she declined stating she's
not ready for all that. I understood her reasons. I texted aunt Zinhle to
please get organize a beach brunch setup by house.

Me: Morning baby. She smiled at me, the smile that I fell in love with

Letsatsi: Good morning handsome. Why are we up so early? I couldn't

sleep when you left the bed. She came an kissed me.

Me: I had an idea. I say holding on to her waist.. "I want us to go

home."

Letsatsi: But we are home aren't we? She giggles. I love how she says it.

Me: Not this one. Can we go to KZN baby. She smiled she loves being
there for some reason and I will never get it.

Letsatsi: You don't have to ask me sthandwa sami. When are we going?
Just then my father sends me a text with the flight details.

Me: 9am. She looks at the time on my phone and her eyes pop out.

Letsatsi: In an hour, when will I get the time to pack babe. She panics a
lot this one.
Me: No need, just shower pack the things you will need mostly and will
get a few things when we get to Durban. She looks at me straight in the
eye I know she wants to say something but because of my puppy eyes
she doesn't. I give her a kiss and spank her ass as she goes to shower.
"Babe" I say, she turns to look at me. "I love you". She smiles at me one
more time and blows me a kiss.

Letsatsi: I love you too my love. I hope she knows how much she means
to me.

We have arrived in Durban, I have requested for us to go to Zimbali and

I have received a text from aunt Zinhle that everything is done and the
food basket is at the guest house. Our Uber is already here

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we are sitting at the back seat with her on a video call with her sister
and brother while she holds my hand. I am texting Sthe we will be going
to a party with some of our friends and he is with Landiwe. That
relationship I didn't see it last but Landiwe dropped her boyfriend at
the time for my hommie. I miss AJ at times but I just can't trust him like
that anymore, I forgiving him I think but have I? I don't know. When we
got home we used a different entrance that I used to use when we
sneak out to party back in high school. We put our things in the guest
house and went to the beach, her eyes light up and she hugs me.
Letsatsi: Wow baby, this looks beautiful, when did you get the time to
do this?
Me: I have my ways. This is to say thank you for being my best friend
and putting up with my shit the past year. I know it must have been
hard as much as it was hard for me watching you with Junaid. I know
that's selfish for me but.. She stop me mid sentence.

Letsatsi: It's okay, the past is the past and we both had agreed that it
wasn't our time yet. I want to enjoy this with you without thinking
about the past plus ngilambile(I am hungry) I laughed. I got the chair for
her and opened the basket with all our favorite breakfast, bagels,
cream cheese and salmon, chocolate croissants, mixed fruits, muffins,
coffee and of cause mimosas. We indulged with light conversations and
laughter I know I shouldn't compare but with her it's easy to be a
boyfriend I don't have to prove it and with Amahle I had to work for it.
We are a little tipsy we packed everything in the basket and left the
table here, no one will take it anyway. As we reach the main house I am
met by screams from the boys and mom's shouting she doesn't know I
am coming but I don't trust her husband I am sure he told her.

Me: Hello there family. "Yaya, Yaya, Yaya" my little brother's scream
and my mother comes from the kitchen with a smile on her face.

Ma: Oh my baby.. She hugs me.. "I didn't think you were coming today,
when did you get her? Letsatsi I am so glad you came. I have missed
you so much." She goes in for a hug. I love the relationship my mother
has for her.
Me: We got her long time ago but I had a surprise for this one. I say
kissing her cheek.

Ma: Wooh Sya I didn't take you as the romantic type. "He had a great
teacher phela muntu wami." Baba says walking down the stairs with
Sbani who hugs Letsatsi and fit pumps me. "He sure does, Hi husband."
she says kissing him and that gained a "EWU" from Sbani. 31-
Nokuthula
I stand there watching my son and it's making me teary eyed, he is so
grown and I am happy his found his soulmate. I know this is non
conventional for black parents but I like knowing who he lets in his life,
he might look tough and mean at times but he's a softie on the inside. I
love the person that he is growing up to be because a year ago I
thought I would lose him to alcohol but after meeting Letsatsi it he kind
of changed his lifestyle and for that I can worry less about him. Being a
mom is a full time job even when your oldest is 22 years.

Tendai: What are you thinking about? and why do you want to cry?

Me: Aaarg, I don't want to cry. He's growing up to fast for my liking. He
laughs at me and stands in front of me holding my arms.

Tendai: Baby you got to be kidding me right? He is a grown man and

you can't baby him forever. We all did a good job raising him and his a
good boy. He messed up a few times but look he graduated and is
working soon you will hear him saying he want's to get married. I lightly
hit his arm and he laughs.
Me: I know baby but he's still my baby.

Tendai: And he will forever be your baby sthandwa sami. I wonder what
you will do with those too who follow you everywhere when they are
Sya's age.

Me: Please they love me more then you. I pout.

Tendai: No one will ever love you more then me. Even in the after life,
you will be stuck with me. He kissed me and we looked into each
other's eyes. After 7 years later with him whenever he looks me in the
eyes it still feels like we are all alone in the universe.

Me: I love you so much baba wezingane zami(father of my children). He

kissed like his life depended on it. "Mama". Yep my little rascal's are
over their father being over me.

Tendai: First it was Sya now you guys. Let me go check on my sleeping
beauty's. Sya walk with me let's talk son. They both leave me standing
there with a big smile on my face.

Letsatsi: How do you guys do it? It's so effortless.

Me: I don't know honey but it just happens I guess when you meet the
one you love it works out on it's own. Come join me in my study I need
help with something please. I picked up Awande and she picked up
Msimelelo. I am working on a cook book and after this I want to retire
and focus on my kids, Tendai is happy about that if it was up to him I
would have done that a long time ago. "I need your creative mind on
this one my love. I am working on a cook book I have taken a few
pictures of my recipes but I need a graphic designer to work on the
cover, and my blog. I will pay you for your services."

Letsatsi: That's such a great idea, I would love to but you don't have to
pay me ma.

Me: I want to and I won't take no for an answer. After the festive
holidays have settled I will send you everything so you can work on it
okay. She nods. "How's you sister?" She told me of the horror that
happened to here which broke my heart.

Letsatsi: She's getting there, therapy is helping her a lot. Thank you for
asking.

Me: And your mom? She tensed up a bit I might not understand the
length of her trauma but I understand her pain.

Letsatsi: I don't know yet ma. She kept quiet for a while and fiddled
with her fingers. "I love her because she's my mom but I have this anger
towards her and I think it's because I'm expecting a sorry I was a bad
mother to you and your sister. I'm back home but I have this thing at
the back of my head that she will come back one day and do it all over
again you know." I saw the heart in her eyes I wish she could voice that
out to her one day. I got up and so did she. I hugged letting her know I
am here for her.

Me: Let me tell you a story. Before I met my husband, I resented

Lungisani, Sya's father with everything in me to a point where I stopped
Sya from going to visit him when he was young but Sipho told me that
expecting a sorry won't change things but it will block my blessings. We
got kidnapped by his then girlfriend and the hate grew bigger but with
my family, friends and therapy we are here today. Maybe you should
consider going into therapy with her let her know how you fell but I am
not telling you you what to do but just be open to it and listen to your
heart, I am sorry my baby I care for you okay. She nod and I pass her a
tissue to wipe her tears. "Let's go get drinks before you man kills me for
making you cry." We left my study laughing like we didn't just have a
heart to heart a few minutes ago.

I am not hosting any new years eve party we going to Carl's home since
Michelle just gave birth, I love how our kids are growing together. Sya is
going to a party with his friends but I want us to pray first before he
leaves. I called them to lounge after dinner. "Guys this year is a little
different we won't see the new year with everyone present but I want
us to keep the tradition and pray so Sbani will sing for us my love. He
sang

Sbani: Uyalalelwa uSomandla

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Noma isimo singavumi

Uyalalelwa uSomandla

Noma isimo singavumi

Ukulalela kwesinye isikhathi

Kubiza ukuphila kwethu

Uyalalelwa uNkulunkulu (He is obeyed by the Almighty Even if the

situation does not allow it He is obeyed by the Almighty Even if the
situation does not allow it Listening sometimes It costs our lives He is
obeyed by God). My baby boy can sing. "Thank you for gracing us with
your beautiful voice baby, now can we all close our eyes so we can
pray. I want everyone to pray.)

Me: Dear father we like to thank you for keeping us to this day, we like
to thank you for your continues blessings and protection. Thank you for
keeping my family safe, thank you for the love you have for us in this
room, for our families that are not with us today, please protect them
so we can all meet again in the new year. Bless my kids union may the
love they share be forever, my you protect my husband through
everything, keep him forever and my our love be stronger then what it
is and protect us from evil we cannot see. Baba wethu osezulwini,
malingcweliswe igama lakho; Umbuso wakho mawufike; mayenziwe
intando yakho emhlabeni njengasezulwini. Siphe namuhla isinkwa
sethu semihla ngemihla; futhi usithethelele iziphambeko zethu
njengoba nathi sibathethelela abasonayo; ungasingenisi ekulingweni,
kodwa usikhulule kokubi. Sawubona uMariya, ogcwele umusa. (Our
Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily
bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass
against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Hail Mary, full of grace.) Amen.

Everyone: Amen. 32- Coma

Here I am wearing my graduation gown but instead of being happy, I
feel like God has let me down once again. This year started of perfect,
Durban was everything I have envisioned and more. I was able to take
Ma's advise and went to therapy with my mother, she did say she was
sorry for all the bad she has done to and asked if I could forgive her and
if we can work on us. I was happy that we got a chance to try and fix
our relationship. She's happy that I am graduating and was able to
finish school considering the emotional abuse. Speaking of school
Lesedi decided to go to culinary school and she got a bursary, my
brother is in matric and he was able to come out to my mother which
surprisingly didn't have a problem with it. I think it was the therapy. She
walks in to the bedroom and I can see the sadness in them. I have been
standing here crying for the past hour, heck I have been crying since Sya
was hospitalized. He got into a car accident after they tried to highjack
his car on his way from work, the doctor said there was a bullet in his
chest that nearly hit his heart. As footage of the garage that was there
it looked like after they shot him he might have pressed on the
accelerator and it hit the pole. The accident was a frightening scene and
he is in a coma as we speak and has been since April, it's been two
months without my love.

Ma: Letsatsi, you have to get dressed nana. Moshanyana eo o tla loka
(that boy will be okay). I always hear your prayers and I know god has
been listen my child. Do you think he will be happy if you don't go
today? I shook my head no, he has been planning this day since the
year started. "Oa bona? o bile a o rekela mose ona (You see? he even
bought you this dress)."

Technically his mother did. God bless that woman's heart. She has been
so strong while me and Sbani crumble especially me. His father and
uncles and have found the people that this and well all I can say is RIP. I
got dressed with the help of my mom and sister who did my makeup
hiding eye bags really well. All I have been wearing are his clothes so I
can smell his scent. Uncle Sipho picked us up to take us to the venue.

Sipho: Sanibona (Hello)

Mma: Yebo bhuti (Hello brother). I could see the worry in his eyes.

My mom and Sipho have been talking and all I am doing is thinking
about him I can hear his voice and his laughter in my head, I miss him
so much. I feel a hand on me and my brother passes me a tissue, I am
crying and I have ruined my makeup. All I do is cry myself to sleep,
eating has become a problem to and all the weight I had is gone.

We get to the venue and everything looks good, the banner that my
class did is standing up high, this should be glorious occasion but what's
so glorious if handsome boyfriend is not next to me. I see my friends in
the distance, Landiwe runs to me and crashes into me, I haven't seen
her since I got back from Durban, Lerato follows her, the hug me with a
few sobs. Sthe comes as well and hugs me, he is also going through it
like I am Landiwe told me he cried when he called her and she didn't
know what to say. Everyone on social media has been sending well
wishes.

My name was called out I marched up the steep stairs towards the
stage, I feel light headed but I am going to be strong for this

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I see my mother has tears on her face and a smile whoever thought
that she would be this proud of me, I also see aunt Senzy and his
husband Sipho on the far end cheering me there's only one person
missing to make this day whole for me. After all the festivities I was told
we will go have lunch at our home, I laughed thinking of that because
that's what he wanted me to say.
Me: Uncle Sipho, can I pass by the hospital. I had made and framed a
picture collage of our pictures. He shook is head. When I got there I first
stood by the door to stop me from crying I wanted to be alone with. I
placed the frame next to his bed with. The machines are beeping with
the a pipe in his mouth. I old his hand and I kiss it when the water
works open.

"I miss you so much sthandwa sami. I finally graduated but it wasn't the
same without you, I have been praying so you can come back to us,
your mother misses her big baby, your brother Sbani is not okay he
really needs you I need you. I know you are a fighter and you fighting
right now, our home is not the same without you it's so cold, I go there
everyday so I can feel you, I hope you feel my presence. I have to go
now your mother is hosting a lunch for me even when I asked her not
to. I will come back later on and I'm not going anywhere today. I got up
kissed his forehead and left.

We got to his mansions with and his mother has cooked up a storm, his
whole family is here some are staying here and some are staying at his
old apartment. The minute I saw her I ran to her and gave her a hug,
she rubs my back and soothing me and telling me it's going to be okay.
She wipes my tears away and tells me to go and change. I passes a
room Sbani uses and I can hear a sobs, I knock and he tells me to come
in. "Hey there little one." he doesn't like it when I say that. I sat next to
him with his face facing down.

Me: I know you miss.

Sbani: Will he ever wake up? I sighed because I ask myself that
questions a lot.
Me: He will, the Sya I know is a fighter and he will never leave you.

Sbani: It hurts.

Me: I know it hurts, I am hurting to. Can I have a hug? He got up to hug
me.

Once I finished changing into his clothes and favorite hoodie I went
downstairs since lunch was served, I sat next to my mother. It's usually
chatter and laughter around the table but today the mood is a little
somber.

Grandpa G: Congratulations Letsatsi, I know it's difficult but he will pull

through. I felt my mom's hand under the table. "We are really proud of
you all of us on this table." I look at him and nod with a smile.

The lunch was okay, we are all sitting in the lounge with his parents
talking about his childhood, I like this tradition with sitting together like
this after lunch or dinner. I have Ulu in my arms, we are best friends he
looks so much like my baby. I see my mom and Sya's mom chatting on
the couch across, his father well Lungisani in deep thought. Tendai's
phone rings and he answers.

Tendai: Tendai speaking hello.. Why what happened? when did that
happen?... Okay we coming. He got up and all eyes where on him.
"Nokuthula, we have to go to the hospital."
Nokuthula: Why? Tendai what's going on? I see her eyes get teary and
she's making me teary. At this point everyone is on their feet. "Tendai
khuluma(talk).

Tendai: Uhm he spoke and he called out Letsatsi's name. Everyone's

eyes where on me and I quickly grabbed my phone on the table.

Me: We have to go. 33- Dikeledi Tau

I have been a terrible mother all because I was bitter because of a man.
It breaks my heart that another family has shown her love more than
me and I am her mother. I see how Nokuthula loves and cares for her
something that I couldn't do and for that I will forever be grateful to
this family. She has made me proud but I wish I could take the pain she
is feeling away. I have watched and listened to her cry herself to sleep
because of this boy and I'm not going to sit here and say I don't know
what she's going through but I do.
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Her father Andile Zuma was my first love so I thought, we were

inseparable in varsity, he was a boy from KZN and I was a girl from Brits,
North West. We met on my first day in TUT he was part of a committee
that helped new students, he was a smooth talker, very charming with
dark chocolate skin that I loved. His smile was the best thing I saw that
day and I would never forget. He was my first everything, first
boyfriend, first kiss and he deflowered me, so you see what I mean
when I say my first love. I really wished we could have stayed together
forever.

I fell pregnant after gradation and after finding out that I got the
scholarship to further my studies in art abroad. I think my daughter's
love for art she gets it from me. Anyway, he was so excited about the
baby and convinced me to keep it and we will make it work. He was an
architect graduate and had a job lined up for him, I listened and
believed him. 4 months down the line after my mother told me not to
set foot in her house again

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he told me he is going back home but he won't be taking me with but
will stay in contact, he left me the house I live in and that's was it. I did
all that could to make it work on my own but with all my paintings I
have done in I sold them so I could have food and to buy clothes for my
little one. I loved her so much but she was a spitting image of her
father.
When my sister Nyakallo came to Johannesburg to study I had to stay
with her because she was my sister but I couldn't burden her with a
baby. I then met friends who made money during the night and
because I needed it to feed her and my sister I joined them until I met
Kgolo, he was a well known thug around town he showered me money.
I was able to go to nursing school and also take care of the two I was
leaving with. As she grew older the more the hate of her father brewed
in me, she reminded me of all the pain I had to go through to keep her
feed, clothes on her back and taking her to school. When she got to
high school I stop taking care of her, I had another daughter with Kgolo,
I loved her too so did her father.

My eldest had to take the back seat and without even noticing because
I was clouded with hate I abused my baby girl, I let another man abuse
my kids. When I Lesedi told me what her own father did a piece me of
me was taken away. To be honest if it was for Letsatsi and my sister I
wouldn't have seen how much my all my children mean to me, I am
grateful for this second chance God gave me, I missed out on a lot in
her life and I will support her going forth.

"We have to go." I saw hope in her eyes. I took the baby from her arms
as she and Thula left. The mood in this house has changed from being
sad to having hope. I am left with Sya's grandparents in lounge. "I'll go
make tea." One of his grandmother's say.

Me: I can help.

Grandma G: Oh you are a guest here please sit. "Lauran woza ntombi".
They got up and left.

Grandpa Ryan: You have such a beautiful daughter and she has been
amazing with Sya. Thank you. I nod because I have no words, she is
beautiful but I have been terrible towards her. He got up and went out
to the balcony with a cigar. I am left with Tendai's father Mr. Gcabashe
and I can feel his eyes on me.
Grandpa Gcabashe: She has forgiven you and she loves you. You just
need to do right by her support her on the journey she's about to take
and most importantly forgive yourself. He got up as well and joined
Ryan. What just happen? How does he know? Just then the wives walk
in with tea and muffins.

Grandma G: He is a spiritual man so sometimes he is able to see things

we can't and just speaks without thinking. Drink some tea I am sure
they will let us know soon what's happening. 34- Waking up from a bad
dream
I could hear bits and pieces of what was happening around me, but it
like a dream that I can't seem to wake up from. In my dream it was like
I was with Letsatsi after a dinner date when two guys popped out of
know where demanding everything we owned, I tried to fight them off
but I heard a "Bang" sound, then blood. I remember screaming out her
name and then a beeping sound. I can hear my mothers voice but when
I scream it seems like my voice is gone, I have been trying to wake up
from this dream but I feel so much weight on me.

Someone is holding my hand, I am trying to move it but it's difficult, I

try again but it's difficult. I gave up because this trying and trying is
making me tired. I think I feel asleep in my dream because no I woke up
from my gogo's couch back in KwaMashu and she is sitting next to me,
okay it is a dream we did bury Gogo years ago. "Gogo" I say.
Gogo: Oh Sya my baby. You have been sleeping for long. Vuka
manje(Wake up now).

Me: Gogo I am confused what are you doing here? She turns to look at
me with her warmest smile.

Gogo: I came to wake you up son. They have been waiting on you to
wake up. I am now sitting up and she hugs me, her hugs feel so warm
with love but it looks like she's disappearing, she whispers in my ear..
"Vuka mfana, vuka. (Wake up boy,Wake up)" I felt like something was
pushing me to back to couch but I sink in it, going deeper and deeper I
crash into something and I open my eyes to be met by lights and
beeping sounds, the hand lets go and the I hear someone scream nurse,
doctor, nurse. The hand again then her eyes

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these eyes I will never forgot but they are not as bright as before, she
kisses my forehead and I hey my mothers voice.
Ma: Sya my baby. You came back to me. Came back where did I go to? I
don't know where I am and I don't remember what happed all I know I
was asleep. "Doctor, why is he closing his eyes?" I feel sleepy again.

I woke up to noises when I open my eyes they are a bit blurry, I blink a
few times and I am met by my mother's beautiful smile. I want to talk
but my voice still fails me. "You want water baby?" I try to nod yes and
she makes me drink from a straw. She brushes my hair and my father
Lungisani is standing next to her, why do they look like life has showed
them flames? The picture of Letsatsi being shot come and I panic, I start
scanning my eyes across the room no site of her, "Letsatsi" I say with a
low horse voice

Ma: Baby you need to calm down, you are in hospital.. What the fuck
am I doing in hospital?

Me: Letsatsi I say a little clear.

Ma: She's here, hold on okay. Sbani get Letsatsi in here quickly. Okay
great then it was a dream but how did I get to the hospital? what
happened? My mother and father moves and she is in front of me.

Letsatsi: Hey Sthandwa sami, she giggles but she's crying. I can see the
sadness in her eyes and I can feel it. She holds my hand and kisses it.
Thank you for coming back to me, I have missed you so much. I move
my finger and wipe her tears and she smiles at me. she makes me drink
some water. She lets go of me when the doctor came.

Doctor: Hi, welcome back. I nod my head. I'm just going to check you
movements okay. I will first check your pupils with this light. He did that
and pressed on jaw, asked if I can speak to he can check my vocal
noises, eyes opening and if there's any movement on my legs. "Okay I
will do a MRI scan later so we can check if there's no bleeding in the
brain and we also need to check your brain tissue. You banged your
head pretty bad and good thing we where able to remove the bullet.
Okay then I will see you later." He moves from my side and the nurse
adjust the bed.

Me: Mama, what is the doctor talking about bullets and my head
banging?

Ma: They tried to highjack you on your way back from work, they shot
your slammed on the steering wheel while your foot was on the
accelerator. If I am being honest I don't remember anything that she
just said. "You have been in a coma for two months now but we thank
god you are alive."

Me: Do you know who did this? "Don't worry yourself about that I
sorted it out." Tendai says coming through the door.

Tendai: I'm sorry son but they already paid for this. I know this side of
him I saw it when he found us. 35- Life after the accident
The road to recovery after an accident is not always peaceful. It was a
hard 5 months, all my dignity was gone. I became totally dependent on
everyone around me which I didn't like much. Every day was a battle
for me but I am grateful they stuck around to get me back on track. I
still live in fear and driving has been a bit of a struggle especially if I
have to go to the office. I use one route to and from. I am back at work
but not travelling outside the country. Letsatsi has practically moved in
with me and I wouldn't have it anyway. She got a job working as a
animator at Blue Sky Animation. the first time she told me about she
was excited about her new role which she is killing by the way, young
couple doing big things. I love how she got close with her family over
the months. He sister doing well in school and her brother doing his
first year.

I have decided to continue with my studies and do my honors and do a

short course in agriculture I would love to own my own farm back home
one so I have been busy with that. I want to have fun tonight, it's the
Friday after all. I didn't go to work today I was working from home. I am
thinking of having a small get together with my friends and their
partners. Speaking of friends AJ and I fixed our friendship it's not the
same but we are trying. AJ and Amahle are a serious couple and if I
could say so myself, they deserve each other. After the accident I
figured life is to short to hold grudges. I was about to call Letsatsi when
she called me from the office.

Me: Hello Letsatsi..

Letsatsi: Since when are we on first name bases ke sthandwa sami? I

knew she will say something, I don't remember the last time she called
me by name, I am not complaining though.

Me: I'm teasing baby... she giggles. I was about to call you, I miss you.

Letsatsi: I miss you even more baby, I was thinking movie date tonight?
She has been trying to get me out the house but like I said trauma. I
sighed and before I can say anything she speaks. "We will request baby,
no driving. I just want you to have fun, I know it's tiring being in the
house all day."

Me: I know my love but I wanted us to invite our friends over for drinks
and a braai, maybe invite AJ and Amahle? It was quiet for a while.

Letsatsi: Really baby? why does she sound excited? That will be so nice
but why don't we do it tomorrow? pool party vibes? I thought about for
a sec and honestly it's not a bad idea.

Me: Okay baby we can do that. We can also go watch a movie, you can
book it online and maybe have dinner first. She squealed in excitement
and that made me giggle.

Letsatsi: I am doing that right now lover. I think I will leave the office
now before I get stuck in traffic and I panic. Sya...

Me: first name bases? She giggles again.

Letsatsi: I love you so much. She makes my heart melt every time. I love
her as much if not more.

Me: I love you even more sthandwa sami. Hurry back and baby be safe.
"Will do" she says and hangs up. I got up from my office to our room to
shower
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she doesn't work far from here so she will be home in 30-45 minutes.
I am ready so is she we have requested a Uber and we are going to
Sandton mall. We first had dinner with her telling me about how
exciting her job and that she has started designing mom's book cover. I
love how she's beaming it makes me happy to see her happy.

Me: I want you to be my wife.. I was thinking that actually but my mind
a mouth did it's own thing. She chocked on her drinking and covers her
mouth with a napkin and her eyes wide open. I would be too.

Letsatsi: Huh? Aren't we to youn... I stop her mid sentence because I

know what she will say and quiet frankly I don't care if we young or not
but I see my life with her in it.

Me: I know baby we are still young and we still fresh in our careers but I
am willing to wait until you are ready. I've said this a thousand times
that I see you in my life forever.

Letsatsi: I know baby I see my future with you in it too but I want us to
enjoy our early twenties, we still planning to travel remember and you
still have school.
Me: I know baby I just can't wait to make you mine. She blushes, we
continued with our dinner over light conversations. The movie was a
great way to end the evening.

Today's weather is on our side, the pool party will be a success. We got
meat, snacks, drinks and salads. Letsatsi did a whole setup. Sthe and
Landiwe are the first to make it, followed by Lerato and Chris who I
thought was Letsatsi's boyfriend 2 years ago I won't lie when she came
to my graduation after party I want to punch his face when Letsatsi was
grinding on him. The girls are inside the house and we are sitting
outside by the patio having drinks. Besides Sthe no one else has been in
my new home.

Chris: This house looks amazing man. Thank you for inviting me over.

Me: Thank you so much Chris. We sat there talking about sports and
other guy stuff when AJ joins us out the patio, followed by Amahle,
Junaid and his girl and then Zamani with his long time girlfriend Hloni. I
got up and greeted everyone. "welcome to our humble abode, nice to
have you. Ladies please follow me.

Hloni: Sya this house looks amazing.

Amahle: It sure does. The décor looks amazing.

Me: That was Letsatsi's work... I got to the TV room where she is with
her friends. "Babe, we got guest. You guys can sit her while she get's
you your drinks." She follows me out to the kitchen, she looks at me
like she wants to laugh.

Letsatsi: Are you okay with this? It's not to awkward? I frown.. "I'm just
asking."

Me: Oh no I am not. Take the drinks and meet me upstairs for a quickie
baby. She bites her lips and I go to the gents.. "Sthe I need you help."
Letsatsi comes with Landiwe. "Can you guys start with the meat? It
marinated and stuff. We will back right now."
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We rush up the stairs into our bedroom which I made sound proof. I
pinned her to the door and lifted her dress, got on my knees and
devoured her flower, I eat her out until she comes. I pull my pants
down and position myself and I kiss her while I enter into her warm
tight hole. "Hmmmm fuck Sya" she says and that drives me even more
sexy. I haven't been in her after the accident and right now it feels like
home. 36- Hashing Things Out
"I think we should go down stairs baby, what will our guest say?" We
are laying on top of the bed after the fire session we just had. It's been
a minute since we had moments like this and I don't wish to leave this
room because I still want him to have his way with me.
Sya: Will it be a bad idea if we stay locked up in the room. I've missed
being in this position my love. I giggle feeling his dick twitch inside me.

Me: I would love that very much but I don't want to be a bad host.
Come on get up let's shower quickly. Just then there was a knock on the
door.

Sya: Just a second. "Ai Sya dawg what are you two up to?" That was
Sthe. We giggled and he moved from me wiping himself and me and I
rush to the bathroom to get the shower ready. "I will be down in a
minute, I'm taking a shower." We both jump inside the shower with a
little touching here and there, sweet passionate kisses making me want
him more.

By the time I am done he has gotten dressed and left the room. I think I
will change and look cute, I am a little insecure Amahle is a beautiful girl
and I won't lie and say I am not worried because I am she was his first
love after all. I decided to wear allover print cut out halter high waist
bikini set and a knit cover up dress topped that off with galaxy boy
sandals, a little lip gloss and an I am good to go.

I went down the stairs to join the girls in the TV room. Lerato and
Landiwe are giving me the eye and I just give them a shy smile. "Ladies I
think we should join the guys outside and I hope you brought your
swimsuits." They all squealed and I showed them the a room they can
use to change. I am in the kitchen with my girls sorting out drinks and
snacks we will use. "Are you insane?" Lerato says. I look at her with a
confused facial expression.

Lerato: ke eng bahlankana ba hao ba ex mona (what is your boyfriends

ex here).. I laugh at her because we switched from English and Zulu to
Sotho because we want to gossip.

Me: O na le motsoalle oa hae (She's with his friend), she's shocked we

never really told her the story. Landiwe and I laugh at how shock she
looks. Landiwe and I have been teaching each other's languages over
the years so she understood us. We moved to the patio and joined the
guys. I placed everything on the table and Sya took my arm and made
me sit on his lap.

Sya: When did you get this? I have never seen it before. His hand is
rubbing on my but and the way he is whispering it's fucking turning me
on. I giggle before answering him.

Me: I thought you might like it. It's old I just didn't have time to wear it
and stop doing that people are watching. I am blushing and if I wasn't
dark skinned I would be pink. I shit him up with a kiss because whatever
he was about to say is stupid.

Sthe: Do you need to be excused again guys? Sya gives him a middle
finger and we all laughed.
The vibe is nice but the tension that is building up her is intense. Sthe
just said it's time to hash things out. We have eaten and cleared up any
dirty dishes, everyone has a drink in their hands and sitting with their
partners.

Sthe: Firstly Sya thank you for inviting us to you home dawg and we
thank the lord you still her mfana. I know there's a lot that happened
the past year and we can all agree that it was hectic especially for me.
So I think this is a good time for us to set our differences apart and
work things out. AJ you said you wanted to say something.

AJ: "ahem"

I want to apologize ntwana truly, I fuck up bad and I wouldn't wish

what we did to you on any one. It was really messed up. He looked
down and I see he is shedding a tear. My boyfriend here is just nodding
his head and saying nothing. "I hope one day we will be able to talk like
old times. Amahle is rubbing his back, when she wanted to speak Sya
stopped her. "Ouch."
Sya: It's fine Amahle you don't have to say anything. I get you guys are
sorry and I accept it I would like to move past all this honestly if the
universe didn't plan it like this then I wouldn't be in this position I am in
right now. I would love it if we don't ever speak about it. AJ I don't
know if I could ever trust you like before but we will see bud. That was
him closing the off the conversation. "Let's not be to serious we are
here to party and I want to go swim." He get kisses me and he runs and
jumps inside the pool.
I go inside the house to get champagne an glasses for the girls we
celebrating life after all. "He looks happy." I turn to find Amahle
standing by the counter. I am nervous by the beat of my heart.

Me: Who?

Amahle: Sya, I knew he loved me back in the day but not like how he
loves you. What does one say to that. I just smile and nod at her. "Take
care of him, he is very fragile." Bitch I know that and it was because of
you I say in my thoughts. I nod again and then clear my throat.

Me: I know and I will. I shyly smile and hand her a bottle and three
other glasses and we go to the pool. I took of my cover up when I am
about to get in the pool and I feel eyes piecing on me. He is swimming
towards me as I sit on the stairs on the shallow side.

Sya: Mam' what are you doing to me? he is now standing in between
my thighs. "You look so hot mama." I love it when he says that.

Me: I'm not trying to do anything babe. I feel his hands on my privates
and I bite on my lip. I don't picture myself with anyone else besides
him, he loves me right, loves my body right and good he fucks me good
too. "I hope you will finish that when we alone."
Sya: Oh trust me, You in for a treat. He swam away from me after
flicking my clit. I catch a breath.

The pool was fun, we gathered around the table after and the
conversation was great. It's safe to say that things got hashed out and
that we all had fun doing it. 37- Officially Meeting The Family
"I hardly see you sweat." Yep I am sweating real bad we are on our way
to Soweto I am meeting Letsatsi's family officially. Her aunt that stay
overseas is in the country with her husband and her mother asked if I
can join them. "I am nervous baby. I've never seen your mom before."

Letsatsi: She's seen you before so don't sweat this much. You will love
my aunt, she's a sweetheart. She rubs my thigh. I called both my
father's and uncle Sipho and they all laughed at how nervous I am but
told me to be myself. I parked outside her gate earning eyes because of
the car I am driving. Mom gifted me with her old G wagon when she got
a new ride as an anniversary gift. "Are you sure you good love?"

Me: Yea let's do this. I get of the car and open the door for her. She
gives me a kiss on the cheek and she hold my hand as we get in the
gate. Her sister comes out the front door with a huge smile on her face
and they hug and she hugs me too. We get in and we are met by an
amazing smell coming from the kitchen. Her mom walks in the living
room with an apron on and hugs her daughter. I see where she gets her
beauty from.
Letsatsi: Dumela mme. Enoa ke Sya (Hello Mother, this is Sya.) She
shakes her head. "Well you know what I mean.

Mme: Aarg don't be silly. Hi Sya. It's good to finally meet you in good
circumstances. Please take a seat.

Me: Nice to meet you too ma. You have a lovely home. She does it
reminds me so much of my grans home in KwaMashu.

Mme: Letsego please bring glasses and something to drink. Your aunt
should be here soon ngwanaka(my child). How is your mom Sya?

Me: She's good ma thank you for asking. Our moms have created some
sort of friendship. She get's up and go to the kitchen. Letsatsi gives me
a kiss on the cheek after pouring me something to drink and follows her
mother. I got a text from baba asking if everything is good and if I have
stopped sweating yet.

"So Sya, what do you do for a living?", rakgadi(aunt) asks. We are now
sitting eating over light conversations.

Me: I am an environmental engineer, basically I develop solutions to

environmental problems.
Rakgadi: That's nice. Not only are you handsome you got brains too. I
chocked on my food a little. "Rakgadi" my precious girlfriend says and
everyone laughs.

Me: The food is great ma siyabonga(thank you) after finishing

everything on it.

Mme: We have you mother to thank and Lesedi. We used her cook
book.

Dawn: I think I should get my wife one. We all erupted into laughter as
she lightly hits his arm.

The lunch was amazing, Letsatsi wanted to show me her hood so we

took a walk to a nearby park holding hands. She looks like she is at
peace and happy to be home.

Letsatsi: Thank you baby for always being there for me. I don't think I
would have been able to be here without you and mom pushing me to
go to therapy with my mom. It's my first time seeing her like this,
happy, loving and free.

Me: I will always be here for you baby. Thank you for inviting me to
your home. At least they now know where the face to the name. We
laugh. We sat on the swings. "Have you spoken to your mom about
looking for your dad?"
Letsatsi: Nah, I don't think I will. He left for a reason so why bring back
the heartache. She's making sense though. "If he want to know me, he
will find my mom. I mean she's been leaving her for years." She shrugs
her shoulders. "I was thinking of getting her something so she can start
painting again you know, I want to see that side of her."

Me: That will be a great idea yazi my love, I am sure she would love it
too. We kept quiet for a while, soaking in the wind. "Baby I think we
should start with traveling. I'm graduating soon, we have been saving
and I think I know where I would love us to go first?"

Letsatsi: Where? She sounds excited.

Me: Zanzibar. I've always wanted to go. She nods yes.

We had a great time with her family we got home a little after 7pm. I
am sitting outside the patio listening to some R&B on the back ground.
I'm not gone lie our parents listened to the best songs back in the day.
Letsatsi is upstairs taking a shower. I have my eyes closed when I feel
her hands on me and she kissed my lip. "What's on your mind babe." I
open my eyes and I am met by a green lace set on her perfect curves.
She sits and straddles me with are hands slowly moving all over my
chest. "I asked you a question Syamthanda." I love how she says my
name.
Me: I was praying sthandwa sami and I guess god answered my prayers.
I have a hard on right now. I am giving her booty rubs that she loves so
much. "You are full of surprises lately baby."

Letsatsi: There's more to come lover boy. She get's up after giving me a
fire kiss and kneels before me and my eyes pop out. She pulls out my
dick and is sprang free

she lick it and I let out a hissing sound. Her right hand around my penis
her mouth making a O shape, in goes my hard dick in her mouth and
moving moving up and down. She goes on and on and on and I feel like
the heavens have opened it's gate but the lord is not ready for me yet
and shoot out my load inside her mount and she swallow's. She gets up
and start taking her lingerie off with her eyes on me by the time she's
done my clothes are off already. She pushes me back to the chair and I
give her a smirk. I love this freak side okay.
She sits and straddles me again, grabs my cock and positions herself
and silds down until I am deep inside her. She slowly rotates her hips; I
can feel myself grow larger and harder. My hands on her boobs while
she fucks, she close she has this face she does when she is about to
scream my name and she did. I pick her up and go inside the house. We
get to the couch and spank her ass, I bend her over after kissing her, I
go in deeper. "Fuck me Sya" she screams. I go deeper and deeper
hitting all the right spots, I spank her thick ass, I am groaning and she is
moaning this house is filled with our screams, I pull out and make sit on
the arms rest and I sank in between her thighs and my tongue did it's
magic around her clitoris, she his moaning out my name, she is dripping
and my mouth is welcoming. She is tight my dick clenched, I am moving
slowly and she is squeezing me I am pumping and grinding, I am
slapping her butt, I am thrusting and her are clenching even tighter. I
feel my body tense up I am about to release, I am going in and out I am
close and so is she and we both climax at the same time screaming
each other's names.

I love you Letsatsi Tau I say as we collapse on the couch. 38-I cheated
on my girlfriend
It's been a rough couple a month all because of alcohol. It's no excuse
for cheating on someone that you claim to love it was an honest
mistake. I cheated on Letsatsi with her best friends cousin Seipati Moloi
it was a one night thing after the club. I never considered confessing
about that night until Seipati ran her mouth. I hate myself for doing
that to her because I know how it feels. I haven't spoken to her in 6
months and she has blocked my calls and has blocked me on all her
social media accounts. I apologized to her and I reached out but she
wants nothing to do with me, I fucked up bad and I am not sure how I
will fix it.

I am in Canada and I have been here for 3 months for work I agreed to
come this side because I wanted to forget about her but it's not
helping, every night when I sleep her last words to be were "If you
really had the love you said you did for me, you would never have been
unfaithful to me." It's 07:00am here and it's 13:00pm in South Africa
and I have work in an hour and I am not in the mood, I will call in sick. I
haven't spoke to my mom in a while now I have been ignoring them
and I really don't want to hear her lectures but I miss her. "Hello
Syamthanda" she says after she answers, I sig because I can hear the
worry in her voice. "Hello mama, how are you?"

Ma: I'll be fine and you?

Me: I had better days. How is everyone? She sighs again.

Ma: Everyone is okay and worried about you. You stopped calling.

Me: I know mama and I'm sorry. I'm just going through somethings.

Ma: But we speak about things if we not okay, what changed?

Me: Nothing ma. There's silence and I know she wants to ask about
Letsatsi and I. "Ma."

Ma: Oh, sorry. Your brother's are giving me a headache.

Me: I will facetime you I want to see them. She hangs up and answer's
the video call. My mother is not aging she looks beautiful. "You look
beautiful mama." She smiles at me.
Ma: Thank you baby you look like shit. Have you spoken to Letsatsi? I
roll my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me young man."

Me: No mama I haven't. I don't want to speak about it especially with

you.

Ma: But...

Me: No buts.

Ma: Okay I will drop it. When are you coming back home? You father
and I are planning Sbani's 16th birthday.

Me: I don't think I will make it. This project is for 6 months, I'll be back
around October.

Ma: Okay baby we really do miss you. Let me give Nyasha the phone
she's more responsible then the boys. We laugh. "Nya, here's Yah Yah."
The scream.

Me: Why aren't you guys at school?

Nyasha: I was at school but mommy picked us up early.

Speaking to my siblings made me miss home so much, they are noisy
yes but I miss them, we poke for an hour with my mom. I woke up,
brushed my teeth and got ready for gym. I've cleaned the apartment
I'm using and I am out the door. I love the gym, with all the iron I have
been bumping is toning up my body just right. After a dope session I
had I went to Trader Joe's to get my weeks groceries so I can meal prep
on Sunday and some snacks for the weekend.

I have been chilling on the couch watching TV and on Instagram. I

searched for her account to see if she has unblocked me and to my
surprise she has. She looks good, too good

maybe she has finally moved on with her life. It's been six months since
we broke up. I really miss her, I miss her smile, her laugh and her love.
Apart from my mom and grandmothers she's the only woman that has
truly loved me. I liked most of the resent picks that I have never seen
and I sent her a DM. "Hey Letsatsi, I'm sorry, I hurt you and broke your
trust. The biggest mistake I ever made was risking us, and what we have
together over one stupid, meaningless night. You are the most valuable
part of my life and I can't let go of you, the memories we share and the
future we imagined. I hope you can forgive me. I love you."
I checked her insta the entire weekend and there's no reply, I have
never been this person all my life I let people be but with her I can just
let her be. I have been buried in my work that's all I have been doing
since I have been here it's the only thing keeping me going really maybe
it's time I started letting her go but my heart doesn't want to.
6 months in Canada and it's time to go back home. It's fall so the
weather is colder then when I got here. I am leaving my tiny apartment
that became my home and I am heading to the airport I am driving to
the office to leave the car and the house keys. It's been great and
maybe I should just relocate; the person I thought I will spend my last
days with dumped me and has never spoken to me in year. She never
replied to my DM I sent three months ago, so my time here I have
worked on moving on. I stalk her account here and there she doesn't
post much just her work, one thing about her she's a focused hun. I am
in the airport about to board my 18-hour flight back to home.

I am jet lagged and all I want to do is shower and sleep. I landed safely
it was a long flight. I texted my parents that I landed safely and will try
to see them on the weekend. I am woken up by my cellphone ringing
and I answer without checking who it is. "Sya dawg." Sthe is calling me.
"What do you want?" I answer in a sleepy voice.

Sthe: Vuka wena (Wake up). We meeting up remember? Oh, I forgot

about that.

Me: Ngikhathele (I am tired) nigga. Who goes out on a Sunday?

Sthe: Ngazohlanya la (Don't be crazy). It's nothing crazy. We will meet

at Rooftop BBQ in Maboneng. He hangs up before I could say anything.
It’s 15:00pm I will go there at 5pm his not alone.
I don’t want to be outside honestly, but I promised my bud I will come
through. I haven’t seen my friends in 6 months. I woke up washed my
face and roughed up my hair, I need a haircut soon and I have been
growing my beard. I’m wearing denim shorts, a white shirt, and vans
sneakers, sprayed my cologne. I look good and I smell good.
39- We meet again
“But all you ever do is work Letsatsi.” “How will you get over him if all
you do is wear his clothes. It’s been a year.” My friends and my sister
have been trying to drag me out the house for month ever since I broke
things off with Sya. Speaking of he sent me a DM a couple of months
ago and I could bring myself in replying I didn’t know what to say. I miss
him every day but I’m not sure how I should reach out. “Come on
Tsatsi, we won’t stay until late.” My sister gives me puppy eyes.

Me: Okay, okay stop nagging. I don’t have anything to wear.

Landiwe: I knew you would say that. I went through your closet, and I
found this jumpsuit you’ve never wore.
Me: It’s one of those that didn’t get to see Zanzibar. I rolled my eyes.
We didn’t get to go to Zanzibar after I found out he fucked we decided
to gift Sthe and Landiwe with the trip. “I’m in no mood for people
though guys.” Truly I am not it’s been difficult to move on.

Lesedi: We know but you need to stop blaming yourself. Seipati is a

bitch, and I wouldn’t past it by her if she seduced the poor guy. No
offence Lerato. “None taken babes.” Lerato replies. “We just want you
to get your groove back. Now get up and get ready.”

I dragged myself into the shower, did my face to hide the bags under
my eyes. I cut my hair and dyed it grey don’t ask me why I’m going
through it. I wore light-colored playsuit and pair it with corset sandals
and minimal accessories. “Okay I am done. Where are we going?”

Landiwe: Yes, wena girl. Look at you. I roll my eyes. “We going to
Maboneg.” We all grab our bags I lock my apartment and off we go. We
get there around 5:30pm I ask to be excused since I need the toilet first.
Once I was done, I call to ask where everyone is. I get to the table, and
everyone is looking at me different, I greet before I sit.
Me: Why are you guys looking at me like that? No one answers just
eyes on me. “What the fuck is wrong with you guys?”

Lerato: Aaah chommie

oh fuck!! “Hi ladies.” My eyes are out because of shock... I know that
voice so well, I hear it in my dreams every night. My heart is beating so
fast. “Letsatsi.” His deep husk voice that I have been missing. I take a
big breath and compose myself.

Me: Hi Sya.

Sya: You good? Can I at least get a hug? My sister has this big smile
pasted on her face. I get up and hug him. He smells so good, his body
rock fucking solid, he worked out before he had lean body right now his
arms a bigger and strong. “You look beautiful.” He says letting me go.
Me: Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself. He nods and gives me his
dashing smile.

I have had one to many drinks and I am babbling. I have been looking
his way and for a second our eyes locked. All those feelings that I have
been trying to hide came in crashing. I still love this stupid guy with
everything in me. "Earth to Letsatsi." My sister brings me back to life.

Lesedi: Stop drooling over the guy it's weird.

Me: Why is he so hot? The girls burst out laughing. Yep I am drunk.

Landiwe: His always been hot mos.

Me: I know but now? do you see those arms? omg. They laugh again. I
am glad I agreed to go out, I am having so much fun. "Thank you guys
for taking me out the house."

Lerato: You welcome but the night is still young chommie we going
Bryanston.
Me: Why?

Lesedi: Because Sya invited us over, that's why. I am to drunk to argue.

I haven't been here in forever, we used to spend our days either

cuddled up in the tv room or having sex somewhere. We are in the
lounge and they have ordered food and we bought more drinks on our
way her. I'm in his the bathroom in his room, he still has most of my
stuff here. I washed my face to remove this makeup. You know that
moment when you in front of the mirror and you tell your reflection
that you drunk? that's me right now. "What are you doing here Letsatsi.
You are drunk and you need to leave before you say something stupid."
I closed my eyes and when open them he is leaning by the door looking
at me.

Me: You shouldn't creep on people like that.

Sya: It's my room so you the one creeping. I roll my eyes. "So what are
you doing here?"

Me: I needed to wash my face. He walks over to me nodding his head. I

am standing the with my hands on the sink.

Sya: How have you been? His close

Me: What do you think?

Sya: I know I messed up and I'm sorry. I feel tears burning my eyes. I
close them before I start crying all over again. I feel his hands on me
and my body is betraying me. I move away from him a little I think he is
hurt by the look in his face. "Can we please talk about us?"

Me: I can't talk right now I'm drunk and whatever I say won't make
sense.

Sya: Tomorrow then over breakfast? I nod yes. "Can you please unblock
me so I can call you." I nod again.

I was about to live the bathroom when he pulled me close to him, he

lifts my chin and and looks me in the eye like he's looking for
something. "Don't fight it." My body and my heart is telling me yes but
my brain is saying no mam. he brushes his lips on mine, fuck it I kiss me,
I kiss him for all those months I didn't. 40- Winning Her Back
“Hey I’m outside.” I say. “Okay I will send you a code via text,” she says
and hangs up the phone. I am picking up Letsatsi for our breakfast date.
I don’t have work today which is great, and she works from home. She
stays in her own apartment now, it’s a nice studio apartment. It’s
perfectly proportioned open-plan kitchen, The open kitchen flows
easily into the living area bedroom with a balcony
Letsatsi: Thank you for the flowers. I had bought her flowers on my way
here. “I am almost done I just need to send one last email.”

Me: Take you time. When did you move in? I love the space.

Letsatsi: Thank you. It’s been a couple of months now. Okay I’m done,
where are going?

Me: Patisserie de Paris. She loves Paris so I want her to experience it.

Letsatsi: Woooo I’ve never been there.

We got to the café, and we ordered, I am trying to speak but I don’t
know what to say. I cleared my throat. “I miss you.” She looks at me
with a straight face. “I really fucked up a good thing we had going on
and I don’t know how to fix it. I haven’t spoken to you over a year, and I
can’t seem to move on I don’t want to move on. Can you please forgive
me baby.”

Letsatsi: I don’t know Sya, you really did hurt me. Of all people you
should know how shitty it feels being played like that. I trusted you.

Me: I’m sorry that I hurt you and broke your trust. I was drunk and I
know that’s not an excuse to justify what I did. I was just greedy. All I
ask is for you to give me time to make it up to you, to fix it. I love you
with every fiber in me. I shed a few tears and I think it’s triggering her
to cry to. I move closer to her and lift her chin. “I will never hurt you like
this ever again and that’s a promise. You don’t have to answer now but
allow me to show you how much you mean to me.”
She nods her head; I am essentially starting over, and creating a new
relationship, I wipe her tears and we kiss. The rest of the breakfast
went well I drove her back her apartment and I headed home.

The week went by really fast. I send flowers daily, we back to texting
the best buddies. I have booked a spa treatment for her then have
dinner later. I picked her up and I am dropping her off at the spa while I
go prep dinner under the stars in my house.

Letsatsi: Aren’t you joining me for the treatment?

Me: No, it’s all about you. I have a few errands to run.

Letsatsi: Oh

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I see that look, a flash of doubt. It’s my fault she feels like this.
Me: Hey don’t overthink this okay. You here to relax. You will call me
when you done? She nods and I kiss her forehead.

I picked up some wine and a couple of steaks from the grocery at

checkers, I will make my own dessert when I get home. I need a few
candles and rose petals. When I got home, I took a nap and woke up
when she told me she’s done. I picked her up and dropped her off at
her apartment telling her I will pick her up at 6pm.

I will make the steak when she gets here, I created a playlist of all the
songs we love. The table is set outside the by the pool, everything is
ready, I cleaned up nice let me go pick up my girl. I got to her, and she
look rejuvenated, she’s glowing. She gives me her dashing smile that
melts me all the time. “Where are we going?”

Me: My house. It’s a surprise. She smiles and nods yes.

I asked her to stay in the car while I switch on the candles and playing
smooth and relaxing music. I get the door for her and lead the way to
the table. Her eyes are beaming and she’s grinning at me.

Letsatsi: This looks beautiful, thank you.

The night is as beautiful as I had imagined it, we are laughing like old
times. I spoke about my work, and I love how interested she gets when
I start talking about work. We spoke about her relationship with her
mom and how It feels like they are in a good space.

“I don’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”

Me: Me too. Thank you for tonight.

Letsatsi: Thank you for inviting me. I have been doing a lot of thinking
the past few days. This is it, it’s either she forgives, or she doesn’t. “I
miss you too, I can’t move on too and I still love you.” She said she
loves me. “So, we can try again but it will take time for me to trust that
you won’t hurt me again.”

Me: I understand I broke your trust baby and I know it does take time.
Thank you for taking the chance with me again. Come on let’s dance.

She’s in my arms and her head on my chest. It feels right and the void I
was feeling is filling up. From hereon I will treat her like an egg that she
is.

Letsatsi: I love you.

Me: I love you even more baby. 41-I got it all this morning
My body lights up like New Years, my fear mingling with his fury, my
arousal tangling with his need. And I know that there’s no more reason
to fight it. Because this is Sya. He might have torn my heart to pieces,
but he still holds me like I’m the most precious thing in his world. He is
holding me tightly; I like it here I haven't felt like this in such a long
time, but I really need to pee. I try to move without waking him up.
Shish that was hard, I am wearing one of his t-shirts. I get to the
bathroom wash my face and brush my teeth. Once I was done, I went
downstairs cleaned up the mess we made and started on breakfast.
Last night was amazing, I like how he takes his time to do romantic
gestures its cute. We stayed up until late, getting to know each other all
over again I think I passed out because I don’t remember getting in bed.

“I wouldn’t mind waking up to this every day.” He says wrapping his

strong arms around my waist. He kissed cheek and then my neck
sending shivers down my spine. “Good morning beautiful.”

Me: Good morning sthandwa sami. I am halfway done with my

breakfast you can just go sit down.
Sya: I will sit right here because I love the view. I giggle. “Did you sleep
well baby because I know I did.”

Me: Like a baby. I missed having your arms wrapped around me.

Sya: I missed it to. What do you want to do today? I shrug because I

really don’t know. “I wouldn’t mind staying indoors the whole day, but
the weather looks nice out.”

Me: It sure does. Maybe we can do the Market?

Sya: Great Idea we should do that. Just the two of us?

Me: Yes please. I want you all to myself today. “Would you like coffee
or juice baby?”

Sya: Baby? Love the sound of that. I would love some juice please.

I poured him a glass and dished up an omelet stuffed with mushrooms,

cherry tomatoes, bell peppers and cheese with a toast. We ate, and we
laughed. “Thank you for breakfast it tastes great.”

Me: It’s a pleasure. We fall into comfortable silence while I finish my

plate and he do the dishes.
Sya: Baby. “hmmm” I say soon as sits on the couch by the TV room.
“Thank you again for giving me another chance mama. You know I’m
really lucky.”

Me: Yes, you are lucky, never forget that. We both laugh. His laugh is
amazing to my ears. I am starring because no ways a human can get
this hot in just a year. He’s dark smooth skin, nice full lips, nice lean
toned muscles. My eyes go down to his chest oh god his chest is sexy,
he doesn’t have six pack anymore it looks like eight.

Sya: You are sure checking me out

you even drooling. I snap out of it; I blush and focus on the TV.

Me: I am not drooling, and I am definitely not checking you out Have
you been working out? He laughs again.
Sya: And you say you not checking me out, hmmm I see. To answer
your question, I have been working out. I nod and ignore his stare.

Without warning, his mouth is on mine. He kisses me roughly.

Completely unyielding. His hands are on the back of my head, holding
me in place. “So soft, Chloe.” He swept his thumb over my skin. 'How
do you do that?' His voice cracked.

Me: Do what? I say shyly.

Sya: I want you but… He looks up at me with his eyes full of lust, shook
his head and laughed, apparently at himself. 'I want to make you cry
When it's too much. When it feels too good.”

Me: I want you too make me cry. I am horny God Jesus. A year without
sex. I kiss him and he kisses me back with the same fire. In a swift
second the top I have on if off, my back on the couch with him hovering
me, he is kissing my ear, my jaw down to my neck. “Tell me what you
feel.” He says in his husky voice.

“I can’t explain it.” I say. He continues to kiss every part of my body

and leaving every part wanted more. He has my legs spread open
leaving kissed in between my thighs. The moan that climbed its way out
of my throat was downright sinful when sucked on my clit. “OMG this
feels so good.” I scream. He grinned. He positions himself and as soon
as he enters my insides clench on him so tight, he hisses. He takes his
time savoring every moment, his hands are all over my body, the room
is filled with our moans.

Sya: I need you to open your eyes and look at me. I do as am told. He
looks deep down into my soul, “tell me what you feel.” He says again
while pounding and hitting every corner.

Me: Don’t stop what you are doing, I love it!!!

Sya: You are so wet, and I love it. He whispers into my ear and shivers
down my spine. I am close I feel the one-year-old tension leaving my
body and I moan out his name. His pace is faster than before he holds
my hand as he releases, we are both panting after that fire session.

I got it all this morning that's for sure. We ended up not going to the
market we lazed around and had more sex making up for lost time. 42-
Death be not proud
I look around and I see my family, brought together, to mourn one of
our own. Friends are also here to pay their respects to one whom we
adore. The sadness corrupts my inner soul. My heart bleeds a river
inside for my parents especially bab’T and his brothers. Nothing could
change the wretchedness they are feeling right now.

We are in KZN to lay mkhulu Gcabashe a respected and honorable

businessman in the country but to us a remarkable father and the best
grandfather to rest. Old age has finally caught up with him and took
him away from us.

All the years I have known baba Tendai and uncle Anesi as these
fearless men who always holds us down but ever since mkhulu they
have been a mess. The Gcabashe wives have been holding it down and
preparing everything for today to go smoothly. The funeral is taking
place inside his home and will be buried next to his father. This week
has been hard on everyone.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no
more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore,
for the former things have passed away.” The pastor says. All his close
friends said something beautiful about him. I watch baba trying to
compose himself to say a few words, my mother standing close to him.

Bab’T: Ngiyanibingelela egameni lika Jesu (I greet you in the name of

Jesus). I am incredibly grateful and happy that I can stand here today
and tell you that we all have had all this and much, much more with my
dad Banele Gcabashe. I have been blessed to have had Banele my dad.

To say I loved my dad would be an understatement and to say I’m going

to miss him would be an even greater understatement. I cannot begin
to imagine not having Dad on the end of a phone or popping around at
a moment’s notice to assist, in his ever-graceful manner, with anything
great or small which I happen to be needing advice or help, or to be
with my children.

He was always there for everyone

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family, neighbors, colleagues, or friends, He was a very clever man but
was never afraid of having a laugh at his own expense. He could help
you with a complex problem or just as happily, as many of you know.
Our father was also always there for our lovely mother to the point that
she used to joke she was like the Queen. You are his Queen mama. I
watch gogo G cry, her face filled with pain as tears dropped slowly
down her face.

For 50 years they have shared everything life can offer - together. They
were a great team supporting each other in every way.

Baba was hard working, compassionate towards everyone, and

deserved the success and rich life that he enjoyed. He taught us many,
many things but I think most importantly he gave us the ability to know
that if you really put your mind to something, anything is possible, and
never to be afraid to give anything a go.

I am humbled by mama strength, our wives over the past few days and
the ability to focus on the amazing life she shared with baba and not
dwell on what she has lost.

I hope that through this we can find strength from her example and be
there for her whenever she needs me.

As much as funerals are sad but mkhulu had a great send off. Everyone
who know him spoke about all the great things he has done for them.

We are all gathered as a family inside the main house, listening to gogo
G speak about her late husband and telling us all the funny things he
did to get her back in the day. It’s bittersweet but his spirit lives on. 43 -
Perfect Evening
French kissing in France. I think that if the universe were trying to keep
us apart 4 years ago and it did a shitty job. Because otherwise, why
wouldn I be lying in bed with the best view of the Eiffel tower in the
arms of the love of life. Yep, I am in Paris with Sya we are celebrating
our birthdays and 8th year anniversary.

If someone had to tell me that this is how your life will be setup, I
wouldn't have believed them. I fall in love with every minute of the day.
We have been here for a week and a half, and I am having so much fun.
We’ve been to Louvre Museum, Eiffel Tower, Versailles Palace, and
Paris Seine River Gourmet Dinner Cruise.

It’s our last night here and we are having dinner at an upmarket
Japanese French restaurant. I’m feeling a little under the weather
today, but I won’t let it spoil my last night here. Bae is ready and is
waiting on me to finish up. Nothing to hectic, high waist ripped jeans
with a white crop top, I love crop tops, a black coat, black heels and my
new Chanel flap bag that I got as a birthday gift. Speaking of gifts, I
bought Sya a Tag Heuer watch which I spent years saving for his 30th
birthday which he loved very much.
“Aibo baby

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we going to be late for our reservations.” He shouts. I am almost done
with my makeup he must chill. “Ngiyeza(coming)” My Zulu is proper
okay. Everything looks put together.

Me: I am ready baby; sorry I took so long. I kiss him on the cheek.

Sya: You look good. I blush and give him a kiss. The restaurant is a
walking distance from the hotel so we will walk there just to take in the
city one last time. He is holding my hand which gives me butterflies in
my tummy all the time. I still can’t believe that I am still with my first
proper boyfriend all these years. I met Sya at 19 and at 28 he is still
with me.
The restaurant looks beautiful, I made sure he takes a lot of pictures of
us, and I have been posting. We have ordered our mains and we are
having wine. He is kind of jumpy today I am not sure why.

Me: Are you okay baby? You are very jumpy today.

Sya: No, I am not. He laughs, he laughs when his nervous I wonder what
he is up to. Our mains get here, and we eat in comfortable silence until
we are done. “After this can we go to that place you love so much.” I
look at him beaming and he is sweating.

Me: Are you sure you okay lover? I am worried okay.

Sya: I’m okay honestly.

We spent a few moments and left after paying the bill to the Eiffel
Tower. It’s still buzzing with people and the lights look amazing. It’s
kind of cold since it’s winter but I’m not complaining. He asks me to
while he takes a picture from behind.

Sya: Okay I think I took a better picture then last time. What do you
think? I turn to and he is on one knee. I look at him confused and I
laugh.

Me: Why are you on your knees baby? He grins. “Aibo Sya.” I laugh
again.

Sya: Sthandwa sami. At some point I didn’t believe in love or the

fairytale bullshit, but with you it’s different. You have changed my life in
so many ways and I love you. Okay what I am trying to say is can you
make me the happiest man alive and marry me? He takes out a box,
open it and there’s a teardrop rose gold diamond ring in it. I nod my
head. “I can’t hear you.”

Me: Yes, yes, I will marry you. He gets up and kisses me. There are
people clapping and there are flashes. I didn’t even see there are
people around us until I saw my mother and his walking towards us. I
lightly hit his chest. “When did you plan all this?”

Mme: Congratulations my baby. She hugs me as I cry with her. His

mother hugs him and then hugs me.

Mama’Thula: Another daughter in my list. Congratulations. Let’s go to

the others it’s cold. Who are others? We went back to the hotel we are
staying in and my sibling and his and baba’T are also here. I am a crying
mess. We in the hotel room, talking about my time here and how
everyone knew besides me. Apparently, Sya sent a letter to my mom
asking for my hand in marriage a week before our trip.
I feel dizzy and I feel like the food I at wants to come out. I rush to the
bathroom with my mom following me. I threw up all the good food I ate
tonight, she passes me water, but it’s not helping I’m still dizzy. I don’t
know what happened, but I do remember hearing my mother’s voice
before lights out. What a way to end a perfect evening
44- Lobola Baby
“Sya”. She’s up. We are in the hospital after she fainted back at the
hotel. I walk closer to her. “Hey baby.” I say holding her hand with a
huge smile on my face. I want to break the news to her.

Letsatsi: What happened? Why are you smiling like that?

Me: I have good news but let me go get our parents. She nods and I
leave the room. My parents don’t know either the doctor just broke the
news. “She’s up.” They all follow me. I make her sit up comfortably
while the mothers worry over her.
Letsatsi: So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong with me? Was it
food poising?

Me: No baby it’s not that. We’re pregnant. She has a shocked
expression on her face. Hey eyes land on her mom then back at me. My
dad pats my back and mom hugs me.

Letsatsi: Really? But I was spotting.

Me: Yes really, you are 2 months pregnant. It happens. She doesn’t look
excited like I am, actually I see worry in her eyes. Her mother goes and
hugs her I think she is seeing what I am seeing.

Mme: U nketsa nkhono ke sa le monyenyane. (You are making me a

grandmother at a young age.) Congratulations ngwanaka(my child). She
wipes a tear on her daughter’s face. My parents spend a few minutes
with us and leave for the hotel since they exhausted from the flight.

Me: What’s up, why do you look worried? I say getting in bed and
cuddling her.

Letsatsi: Ngwana (A child) Sya? I don’t know how to be a mother mos.

Sowenza njani? (What are going to do?)

Me: You’ll make a great mom baby. I always see you with Ulu. Can I ask
you something? She nods her head. “Is it because of what you went
through? What your mom went through.

Letsatsi: A part of me yes and the other part is work, we both are in our
peak. Not forgetting since you have started the farming thing you
hardly home.
Me: We will make it work baby don’t stress. I got you.

Letsatsi: Promise?

Me: I promise. We are going to be parents.

Letsatsi: We are. I don’t know if I should be excited or not. I kissed her

forehead, and she snuggles closer to me.

Me: It’s okay baby we got this. I spent the rest of the night at the
hospital.
By morning we have been discharged and boarded our flight back
home. Thanks for the jet.

Tendai: You kids grow up so fast. I laugh. Uyangigugisa manje (you are
making me old)

Me: Senigugile vele baba (You already old dad).

Tendai: Insizwa enjengami (Young man like me)? He shakes his head.
I’m proud of you Sya. You are a man now and I am happy I got to see
you grow up into one.
Me: Ngiyabonga baba. (Thank you, baba.) How did you know mama is
the one for you?

Tendai: She makes me feel good every time, she’s considerate of my

feelings and she didn’t want my money we used to fight about that but
most importantly she loves me. I sometimes feel like I don’t do much to
show her that, but I feel her love.

Me: I think I will marry my mother. We both laugh out loud.

Tendai: You right. She is just like your mother when I first met her.
Umphathe kahle (Treat her well). To think you were checking this girl
out in her work uniform when we were bonding.

Me: Hawu baba you still remember that? We both laugh out load.
It’s been two weeks since we have been back from Paris. Letsatsi has
been sick, but the doctor assured us everything is fine it’s because we
are in the first trimester. She is Brits

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she left Thursday afternoon. I am paying lobola today, I am excited yet
scared.

I asked both my fathers to present as abakhongi (representatives), then

uncle Sipho, Carl and Themba. We are in a lodge since we got here
yesterday. Mom prayed before we left, we on the road now going to
fetch my wife. I am nervous.

Tendai: Sibanika malini? (How much are we giving them?)

Me: What ever they want.

Lungisani: Ebesayintombi?

Me: Yes baba. Everyone has big smiles on their faces.

Sipho: When did you grow up?

Carl: The shy Sya who was scared on girls in high school. Everyone
laughed.

We arrived early in the morning, abakhongi are by the gate waiting to

be allowed to enter the Tau residence. “Hey baby.” I say speaking with
Letsatsi on the phone.
Letsatsi: Hey baby I miss you so much. She has been so clingy, and I am
not complaining. “Where are you I can’t hear your voice.”

Me: I am not allowed in. I’m in the car. I miss you too I can’t wait to see
you.

Letsatsi: Me too, how long does it take? I shrug my shoulders. We spent

some time on the call until she told me her mother’s calling her. “I must
go mme is calling me. I love you husbae.” She hugs up.

One the negotiations where complete. I was invited in. Guys my wife
looks beautiful, her traditional outfit on her body looks amazing and
she has a glow. The day ended in a good note, my wife is happy, I’m
happy and our families are happy. 45-Knocked Up
Being pregnant and planning a wedding is such a tiring job and I can’t
take it anymore. That’s right ladies Sya is taken and he has knocked me
up. After successful negotiations 3 months ago both families exchanged
gifts and slaughtered a cow. I am 5 months pregnant and planning my
traditional wedding with the help of my mother and my mother in-law.
It feels so weird saying that. I am in Durban, for Sya’s ceremony. He left
yesterday afternoon for KwaMashu to baba Lungisani’s home and I miss
him so much. This baby is so clingy, it wants Sya around us all the time.

I am in Zimbali with Nyasha and Ulu in the guest house. Nyasha is such
a Diva at 11years old and my lovely 7-year-old baby Ulu who has been
clingy on to me ever since I’ve been here. They are keeping my
company while I get ready to go to KwaMashu. I feel so hot, Durban is
so fucking hot, and I don’t know what to wear. Ulu comes running into
my bedroom with my phone in hand.

Ulu: Tsatsi, she says with a wide smile on her face. She calls me Tsasti
just like her brother it’s cute. “Bhuti Sya wants to talk to you.” She
passes me my phone and I am met by a beautiful face that I miss so
much.

Me: Sthandwa sami. I am getting emotional. Darn you pregnancy. “I

miss you so much.”
Sya: I miss you too baby. Why are you crying? As always, I cry when he
leaves me at the office, at home or whenever he is busy with work. I
quickly wipe my tears away and giggle.

Me: It’s not me it’s your baby and I don’t know what to wear.

Sya: I will see you shortly baby. You look good in everything, but I got
you something, check in my closet there is a H&M bag in there. Now let
me see my baby girl. I laugh and lay on the bed and show him my
stomach, he starts talking and it starts kicking. We do not know what
the gender is, and I am okay with that I love surprises. We spoke more
until he had to go. I got up and found a beautiful orange sleeveless
maxi dress and an orange scarf that covers my shoulders.

Once I was done, the girls and I went to the main house. I got in the
house mama was busy in the kitchen packing muffins she made last
night. I walked in the kitchen and sat on a bar stool and watch her
work.

Me: Can I help mme. She turned and smiled at me.

Thula: Oh, my dear I am done here thank you though. You look
absolutely gorgeous.

Me: Thank you mama. Do you think I should wear a head wrap?

Thula: Actually, I have something for you it will go with your outfit. She
left the kitchen as Sbani walks in, opens the fridge pours himself milk
and juice for me and take two of the most delicious blueberry muffins
mama makes.
Me: Thank you. Sbani has grown, he is 21 and is doing his first year
after taking a gap year. He is now tall as Sya if not more.

Sbani: After this we are going, you husband has been annoying me. I
laughed; I love their relationship.

Me: Are we taking your siblings with?

Sbani: No, it’s just us

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the rents are sitting this one out. I nod my head and I continued eating
my muffin.
Mama gave me a beautiful white LV silk hair scarf to use on my head,
makoti vibes. I think I might has fallen asleep on our way because I
don’t know when we go to KwaMashu, Sya woke me up with a perk on
the lips.

Sya: Malala (Sleepy head). You look good in orange.

Me: Leave me alone. I was tired. Thank you so much for the dress my
love.

Sya: Anything for you baby. Come on gogo wants to see you. We got
out of the car and walked in the house. I greeted his uncles some that I
know and some that I do, his aunts, cousins, his father, aunt Mbali and
his grandmother. He is so lucky to have grandparents, it’s sad thought
that mkhulu G won’t be here to witness this journey we are taking.
I am helping Aunt Mbali in the kitchen while she dishes up and I take
food to the elders. She’s still the sweetest lady I met years ago. Once
everyone has eaten and everything packed and cleaned, I am sitting
next to gogo and in true fashion I am about to doze off. Sbani left since
hubby insisted, I stay, and we will leave tomorrow morning. He gets in
the lounge kissed his grandmother’s cheek and then kisses my stomach
then my cheek.

We are in his outside room and laying in bed with him massaging my
feet. He has an animal wrist band on that he got today. Basically, he
was being welcomed to his father’s family.

Sya: Baby, have I told you how much you mean to me?

Me: Everyday and I love hearing it.

Sya: I wanted to ask you something. I look at him a nod while indulging
the ice cream I am having. “Would you move the KZN with me?”

Me: Hmmm, I would but I will have to consider work and stuff. Why?

Sya: I’m just thinking of two places to start the farm business baby, A
part of me wants to come back home another part I want to go to
Limpopo.

Me: I love how ambitious you are baby but is it something you want to
do now since you just got a promotion at work? Yep, he is now an
environmental engineering manager. Which takes so much of his time.

Sya: I don’t know.

Me: Lets take it one step at a time baby, we have wedding to plan. You
have so much on your plate.

Sya: You are right. I have to go to Midlands tomorrow with baba for a
site viewing for the new resort.

Me: You see baby, you have so much in your plate. I must just quit and
be a housewife at the rate you are going. I laugh but he has a serious
face on. “And then?”

Sya: That’s the next thing I wanted to ask you. I mean you are pregnant
and... I cut him off before he starts spewing shit. “But baby.”
Me: No, no Syamthanda I am not going to do that. I have plans and
goals that I also want to reach. I won’t quit anytime soon. I love you but
I also love my job.

He looked at me with puppy eyes. The idea of being a housewife there

but at the peak of my career no I don’t think so, I still have a game that I
have been creating and a anime series that I need to put out if that
ranks number 1 I will decide if I want to be a housewife or not. 46-
Traditional Wedding
Today is the day. One of the most beautiful and scariest days of my life,
I am officially off the market. There are too many flowers for the
traditional wedding, and I blame my mother for that. I have no idea
what to expect. The house is buzzing with final touches. I am wearing
ibheshu(calfskin) paired with umqele (traditional headband), and I will
have a shield. My groom’s men, Sthe, Zamani and Junaid will wear
something similar.

Everyone started arriving, and I was terrified. I had to meet and greet
everyone before she gets here. Landiwe texted saying they are close. I
am in the main bedroom with both my father’s and uncles, I am
nervous, and I have downed a few shots.
Lungisani: This is it Boy, the day is finally here.

Tendai: I have a toast. Syamthanda this journey you are about to

embark in is not that easy. You grew up noticing it and I like to think we
all have been great examples. You know how to treat a woman, you
take care of her even when she doesn’t want you to, you do it behind
her back. Don’t starve her I want more than one grandchild.

Sipho: We are all proud of the man you have become, let it not end
here today.

Carl: To new beginnings

Themba: And to being grandfathers.

Us: Here, here. I needed that; my nerves went down a little.

The wedding is taking place in our holiday home in Hillcrest KZN, which
Letsatsi doesn’t know about, it’s a wedding gift from my parents. The
double storey home consists of open plan living that leads out to the
secure wrap around verandah. Built-in braai and enclosed pool it’s set
on five acres of perfectly terraced land. It has a horse’s arena which we
will use for the part of the ceremony.

Letsatsi arrives with her family, there’s singing at the main gate with my
family welcoming them with a song. There are girls dancing already at
the arena. She is wearing a seshoeshoe and has a blanket covering her.
I know she’s annoyed because of the heat and the fact that she’s 8
months pregnant. She has changed and is she now wearing isidwaba,
isicwaya which is skin covering her chest isicholo which is Zulu hat worn
by married women and she has a beaded veil covering her eyes and her
bridesmaids are wearing seshoeshoe.
She is sitting on a grass mat and is not talking or looking at anyone out
of respect

while her bridesmaids hand out the gifts bought grass mats, blankets,
beer pot, as well as some pieces of furniture and brooms.

Everything is going well, I am official married, we signed at home affairs

after the gifting at her home. Everyone is fed and has a drink in their
hands. After lunch Letsatsi had to change into a dress she had received
from my family there's more singing and dancing.

The night is still young, my wife, yes, I said wife is exhausted and she
whispered that she’s horny when we had lunch. Ever since I knocked
her up, we had sex every day at least. We are in our bedroom because
she wanted to lay down a bit.
Letsatsi: We really are married?

Me: Yep, we sure are. I have a gift for you. I got up and took the title
deed and keys. “Well, it’s surprise from the rents.” She looks at the
papers and looks at me and she starts crying.

Letsatsi: So, we just had a wedding in our home? I nod yes with a smile
on my face and wiped her tears. “This is such a lovely gift baby. We
should go thank them but after a quicky.” She begs with her puppy
eyes. I kissed her and made her stand so I can take her dress off when I
see water go down her thighs. “Sya, I think my water just broke.”

Me: Fuck I see. Did you bring the hospital bag?

Letsatsi: Yes, I gave it to my mom, I think. I need t change. Can you

please get my mom and Rakgadi.
Me: You not in pain, right? She shook her head no. I run out the door to
the lounge where they where sitting. My mom looks up and I see worry
in her eyes. I am panicking.

Mom: Sya, what’s wrong? I don’t know why I am crying but I am.
“Sya!!” she shouts. Everyone’s eyes are on me.

Me: Her water broke, I need the bag and she need you and rakgadi
mme I say looking at her mother. They try and run up the stairs and I
follow suite. She is now laying in bed and it’s evident are contractions
have started I change what I was wearing quickly and get her a dress
and we rush out to the car. 47- Giving Birth
I’m familiar with nerves and fear, but nothing compares to my terror of
pushing out a baby. The very thought makes my pulse speed up. Birth
stories made me clammy. I hated labor and delivery scenes in movies.
When I imagined my own delivery doomsday, I expected panic,
desperation, and lingering trauma and to tell you the truth that’s how I
am feeling right now. I am even annoyed with this man kissing me.
“Ohooo, Aaaaah” I say trying to breath in and out like in the
documentary I was watching.

Sya: Breath baby, we are almost there. How are you feeling? The look I
am giving him right now.

Me: What do you think Syamthanda? He gives me his beautiful smile

but today it’s not calming me. “Aaaaah, Aaaaah” Please get this baby
out of me mme(mom).

Mme: Calm down Tsatsi and breath make sure you don’t push. This car
ride feels like a drive from Durban to Johannesburg.

Mama: We have arrived. Sya hurry and get a nurse or a wheelchair.

“But”. No but’s Sya just hurry. He left the car running and came with
nurse. It is 8pm on the day of my traditional wedding and I am about to
give birth. This is my first time and I read somewhere that first-time
labors are always long and hard. The cramps are getting strong if I
wasn’t sitting on the chair I would be crawling on the floor. My eyes are
closed while I am listening to the pain I am feeling on my abdomen,
does it really feel like this when you have period pains? I doubt it
because right now I feel like something is slicing through me.

My doctor is all the way in Johannesburg, and I am only due next

month. I don’t know why we thought getting married close to giving
birth was a great idea. I am lying in bed, and I have this belt thing that’s
listening to the heartbeat, it’s so uncomfortable and I feel like taking a
dumb. Sya is next to me and my mom, rakgadi and his mom are in the
waiting room. He is so quiet, and his eyes are telling me he is scared as I
am. “Sya, I love you so much, but I hate you for making me pregnant.”
He flashes his smile again.

Sya: I love you too baby momma. He will be out soon I promise.
He gives me a kiss and I wave of pain shoots. “Aaaah”. “Baby, breath.” I
huff and I puff, I inhale, and I exhale. Doctor Zulu will help me deliver
my baby

he has been here just an hour ago and I was 2cm dilated with
contractions. The pain seems like it has subsided but it’s still there and I
am sleepy, Sya left to change into scrubs since he will be in the room
with me. I think I might have passed out because I am woken up by an
intensified contraction. Sya is brushing my forehead and my head, his
telling me the mothers are praying outside and that almost everyone is
outside waiting. I've gritted my teeth and breathing through even
stronger contractions. Every squeeze in my pelvis burns deeply and it’s
makes me groan

It's been hours in fact it’s been 4 hours in and out of pain with this god
forsaking belt around my stomach. This time a nurse comes and
examines me. Her eyebrows shoot up and her face turns into a shocked
expression to a second nurse she came with. “She’s at seven
centimeters,” she said quietly, “with a paper-thin cervix.” I look at Sya
with “What does she mean look?”

Sya: What’s wrong? Is she okay?

Nurse 1: She’s more than halfway dilated, all the way to seven
centimeters without breaking down.

Me: What do you mean?

Nurse 1: You will give birth any minute. She gets up and leaves with her
partner. I am shocked I was really waiting on this to take the whole
night and I will give birth in the morning. The door opens and it’s the
rents, Mme, Mama, Rakgadi and Gogo G. I try to flash a smile, but God
damn the pain.

Gogo: We here to pray for a safe delivery my child. Can we all close our
eyes. Mama is humming a song I don’t know but her voice is
therapeutic to my situation. Every says they piece and Sya too with his
hand squeezing mine.
Mme: O shebahala o le motle ngwanaka. Ke hloka hore u fane ka tsohle
tsa hau hantle. Ke le rata ka bobedi mme ke batla ho bona Lehumo le
nkgono waka. (You look beautiful my baby. I need you to give it your all
okay. I love you both and I want to see my grandbaby Lehumo).

Hearing my mother say she loves really soothes my soul. Growing up

this is the love I was longing for. She wipes my tears and gives me a kiss
on my cheek.

Rakgadi: O nale ngwanaka (You've got this my child).

Mama: Sya and Tsatsi God is with you. They all walk out when the
doctor walks in.
Doctor Zulu: Okay mommy it’s time. I want you to give these pushes
everything you’ve got, and daddy encourage. We both nod. It’s time. I
closed my eyes, pictured my beloved 5K route, and put all the
determination I used for the walks into my push. “Wow, that was a
great push. But I need you to do that again okay?) I nod and close me
eyes and push again. “That’s it, again.”

After two hours of pushing and feeling like I have just released
something big out of me. I opened my eyes to a baby, beautiful and wet
and wriggling. But why do I feel like I still need to push?

Doctor Zulu: Oh, It’s a boy. I have a faint smile and I am exhausted.

Me: I feel like taking a poop I shout. The doctor shoots his head up.
Doctor Zulu: I want those pushes again okay. The nurse takes my boy.
Sya is now standing next to the doctor I don’t know why.

Me: What’s going on?

Doctor: You are having another baby and I need you to push. I am so
shocked how can it be? The last time I had a scan it only showed me
one baby. I push and I push, and the father of my kids has collapsed. A
loud cry erupts in the room while other nurses help my man on the
floor. “Congratulations Mrs Brown, it’s a girl.”

Shock written on my face is priceless. I took my kids in my arms and

said hello. The both turned toward they sound of my voice, which
melted my heart on the spot. 48- Lehumo and Cebile
Nothing changes your body and your life more than becoming a
mother. After all, you just put in 40 weeks or so of pregnancy, and
probably some long hours of childbirth as well, on your way to officially
bringing your little one into the world. But the work doesn't stop there.
In fact, you're just getting started. Not only do you have a new baby,
but you have two to care for, but you also have your postpartum body
to nurse back to health.

It's been 1 month of being officially married and 1 month of being a

mother of two beautiful identical human beings. I am just grateful they
love sleep more than crying. My mother said they took after me and
not the daddy, not my words but Sya’s.

In my wildest dreams I didn’t think I will be a mom a month after my

wedding. I pictured myself in an island somewhere with a bikini on and
enjoying sex with my husband, but God had other plans for us. I’m
grateful I won’t lie but my body looks horrible, I wanted to start going
back to my walks and dieting but both moms warmed me out of it.

Funny part out of this we haven’t named the kids yet but mme has
been calling my boy Lehumo which means wealth or being rich. We in
the baby room with my husbae today we finally name the kids.
“Sthandwa sami (My love), it is time we name the kids.”
Sya: Do you have any name ideas?

Me: No but mme has been calling this little Lehumo. I go on and tell
him what it means, and he likes it because of it’s meaning. “Do you
have any Zulu or Xhosa names?

Sya: Hmmm since the boy is Lehumo, lets name my baby girl Cebile, it
means rich or wealth. For their second names I think we should name
them after the sea since you love the see muntu wami. So Lwandle for
the boy and Leoatle for the girl.

Me: I love how you pay so much attention to things I love baby. I love
the names. Lwandle Lehumo Brown and Cebile Leoatle Brown. I have a
smile that’s reaching my eyes right now. “Where are the granny’s baby,
so we can tell them the names?
Sya: They are outside.

Me: We should go then I am sure they would me excited. I move to the

door with him following me. He pulls me by my waist and closes the
door and his lips press on mine, and he kisses the leaving life of me

his hands caressing my curves. I break the kiss and his eyes are lusting
over me.

Me: Ai wena what are you doing, there are kids in here. I say laughing.

Sya: I can’t help it baby, you look so hot. He has been telling me that for
some time now but honestly, I don’t feel that way about myself. He
sees the flash of negativity in my eyes. “I don’t like what you are doing
mkhami(wife), you look beautiful, stop stressing about things that don’t
matter.
Me: I’m sorry baby but it’s hard to get use to this body.

Sya: It’s only been a month and to be honest you are snatching back I
wish you stayed like this. We both laugh. Umuhle yezwa (you are
beautiful.)

Me: Thank you husbae. Now kiss me one last time before the kiss get
up. We kissed oh, so passionately. A tiny “waah” followed by another
“waah” disturb the moment. “I am sure your princess woke up my
prince ke daddy. He burst into laughter.

Sya: You will make this boy a momma’s boy baby.

Me: The apple doesn’t really fall far away from the tree sthandwa. We
both laugh and go to the kid. “Your cries are so soft my soft little
humans.”

Sya: Hey Lwandle is not soft he is a man. He says picking Lwandle up.

Me: I need to rinse the nipples so the can eat. I am sure my sleepy
heads are hungry. I run to the toilet. One thing about this house every
room has an ensuite bathroom even the nursery. “Okay baby you can
bring them so I can feed them.”

One is sulking on the right the other one on the left. My eyes are
moving from left to right. They have beautiful hazel brown eyes, and
they certainly don’t look like me either. “They don’t look like me baby.”
Sya: They look like they papa. Phela ngikhulisile (I raised them) while
still in your tummy. He winks at me. He is talking about how sexually
active we have been throughout this pregnancy. After feeding Sya takes
Cebile and I take Lwande and burp them. Once done we join the rest of
the fam downstairs.

Thula: Are they awake? I have been her for hours waiting for you two to
wake up. She says walking towards us. She takes Lwandle from me.
“Which on is this one? And have you guys decided on the names?” Sya
gives my mom Cebile.

Me: Yes, we have. I say sitting next to my mother. Baba (Tendai) joins
us a few seconds later. So, we named the boy Lwandle Lehumo and the
girl Cebile Leoatle. My mother has a big smile on her face and Sya’s
mom is shedding a tear.

Sya: Are you okay mother?

Thula: Yes, I am okay. She holds Tendai’s hand. Remember I lost a baby
on your 14th birthday Sya. He nods, I had a dream where your
grandmother told me that she named the baby Lwandle, thank you
baby. She nods.

Tendai: What inspired the names son?

Sya: Well, Letsatsi loves the sea and mama D has been saying Lehumo
and I love the meaning of it. It means wealth or being rich. They both
have the same names.

Tendai: Hmm I love it. My grandkids will definitely live up to their

names. “I’m hungry Thula.”

Thula: What are you hungry for? And where are your little rascals?
Tendai: Watching TV

Thula: Okay. He is about to sleep let me see what I will whip up.

Sya: Maybe you can make salads and dad and I will get some meat. I
will call Lungisani to also come over.

Thula: Okay. Let me put this one to sleep. Should I take him upstairs?

Me: No mama I will get the seat lounger upstairs. I get go into the
nursery. Sya and his father have left and it’s me, my mom and Thula
who is in the kitchen starting on salads.
Mme: This little girl is doesn’t want to sleep.

Me: I wonder why they usually fall asleep at the same time. Mama
Thula comes in with two wine glasses for her and mme. It sure does
smell good. Bomme(mother’s) Sya resumes work on soon and I don’t
know how I will cope alone. You both have been great help this past
few weeks.

Mme: You are panicking for nothing; you are natural at this. But Thula
and I have been talking and we wanted to pass it by you first. She
passes me crying Cebi. “I have one more week here”

Thula: And I will be here for a week, Tendai is going on a business trip
and the kids are done with school. We got you baby. She says sipping
her wine. I put sleeping Cebi next to her brother and join the
conversation these two are having. They have become best friends over
the years. My mom is part of the housewives club of Zimbali.

Bab’Lungisani and aunty Mbali have arrived and arrived with gifts. Soon
after my husband and his father enter the house with meat and beer.
“ahhhhh” how I miss the taste of alcohol. “Hey wifey.” Sya says. “Hey
baby.” He gives me a kiss and passes me an Ice Tropez Non-Alcoholic.

Sya: I didn’t want you to feel left out.

Me: You are so thoughtful husband. I kiss him again. He gets up and
joins his fathers who have been gushing over the kids. 49- Daddy
“Hey wifey.” I say giving her a kiss and a drink.

Letsatsi: Hey baby.

Me: I didn’t want you to feel left out.

Letsatsi: You are so thoughtful husband. She kisses me. I get and join
my father’s outside.

Me: Sbani sent a text baba he is on his way.

Tendai: That one is hardly home.

Me: He’s 21 baba give him a break. We laugh.

Tendai: At lease you came unannounced. We laugh again.

Lungisani: How does it feel being a father?

Me: exciting and scary at times but I’m in love the with them.

Sbani: Heard you passed out in the delivery room. We both burst into.
“Sanibona bobaba”. We fist bump.

Lungisani: Unjani Sbani.

Tendai: Hey son.

Sbani: I am good thanks nina?

Us: We good. We are standing by the fire when Letsatsi brings the
meat. She hugs Sbani and goes back to the house.

Sbani: I can’t believe you are a dad and a husband. Yes, I thought you
would be a father only.

Me: MXM tsek wena. It feels right brother, I feel complete. Soon it will
be you.
Sbani: Not anytime soon bro. We all laugh. “You kids are adorable; Ulu
is also jealous because she is not getting the attention from Letsatsi.”

Tendai: Tell me about it, she also can’t stop talking about them at
home. Sya, you should take her in.

Me: I don’t mind but she’s a handful you would swear she’s a boy. She
acts like the naughty twins.

Lungisani: They still are. We laugh again.

Sbani and I go back inside the house, mom and her little entourage are
sipping wine and my baby is in the kitchen making a cheese board. My
kids are up, could be the noise in the house because they sleep longer
than this. Wife breastfeeds them in the room next to the kitchen.
Me: Cebi eats a lot though.

Letsatsi: I know right

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by the time I am done breast feeding I will be skinny. “How are you
though Syamthanda?”

Me: I’m good mina love, I am actually happy and blessed. Cebi is our
miracle baby. How are you?

Letsatsi: She sure is. I’m happy too baby I am just worried when mama
leaves you know and you going back to work. I’m scared I might mess it
up.
Sya: I’m working from home nje love. I will help you plus we have a
routine we are working on. Don’t stress you and I will make it work like
we always do. I love you and I love our beautiful children Chloe. I wink
at her.

Letsatsi: I shouldn’t have told you my second name. She smiles.

Me: I love your smile my wife. It brightens up my day. I pray Cebi has
your smile.

Letsatsi: You know what I think she will look like you the most and this
little ocean of mine will look like his mommy. Isn’t it my little hazel eyed
boy. She kisses his cheek.
Me: We made pretty babies.

Letsatsi: We sure did Mapholoba.

Me: Where did you learn that? I say laughing.

Letsatsi: Mme Mbali when she calls ntate Lungisani.

Me: I love it my love. Do you think the family you married into is
weird? I mean my mom and dad hated each other when I was young
now, they married to different people, and they are somehow best
friends with each other.
Letsatsi: If I am being honest yes. Your mother is the bigger person I
wish to become one day. I was telling mama D of when we first met
and how your family treated me. She was shocked but look at her she’s
part of the housewives. She says shaking her head while laughing.

Me: I am happy that you and your mother worked things out. We only
live once to hold grudges baby and I want us to teach our kids that. To
forgive themselves first and the people that wronged them but to never
forget and to not go back to what have hurt them. I learnt the hard
way.

Letsatsi: You are to trusting baby. In fact, I don’t want your friend in my
house or close to my kids.

AJ did a number on me with that silly girlfriend of his. Well, the whole
Seipati issue was all planned by them so that Letsatsi could dumb me,
and I get back with Amahle only for them to benefit with getting my
money.

Ma: Food is ready guys. Are the kids asleep?

Letsatsi: Yebo ma, we are coming. Let’s leave them in here we will
check on them time to time.

Me: Never again baby. I love you mama until the wheels fall off maTau.
50- Our Happy Ending
You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince or you
princess. That’s what my mother used to say. I believe her now because
I found my princess better, yet I found my queen, the queen that holds
my heart in her soft delicate palm. The mother of my beautiful kids, I
can go on and on till Jesus come.
In my wildest dreams I never thought I would be a husband and a father
considering I wanted nothing to do with loves since it was never good
to me, but I think the Gods knew the one for me. Having Letsatsi in my
life has been nothing but joy, I learnt a lot from her these past years.

The farm idea that I had has been put on hold for now. I honestly love
my job and I am good at it considering the position I am in. I am also
tapping into being a biochemist which I think I might enjoy more then
being engineer. Tsatsi say’s I am a jack of all trades, and she is not
wrong. Speaking of my beautiful wife her anime is ranked at number
one and she has just published her new game which she has been
working on when the twins turned one.

We have moved into our home in Hillcrest and moved from the buzz of
Johannesburg. The house and apartment are being rented out; we are
securing the bag for the little ones.

“Daddy, daddy”, Cebi coming rushing in my office. It’s been 5 years with
these little rascals and 5 years of marriage. “Stop running in the house
Cebi.” Letsatsi shouts.
“Hello daddies princess. How was school and where is your brother?” I
say picking her up and kissing her cheek.

“He is in the toilet. Hey husband is you still busy with work?” Letsatsi
says. She is glowing lately, and I am not complaining.

“That one and toilets. My son poops a lot.” We laugh.

“Well, monna(husband) the tree doesn’t fall far away from the tree
now does it? She says kissing my cheek.

“Hey those are lies. I don’t poop.”

“Yes, you do dada, and it stinks.” My little smart mouth speaks. I tickle
her and she giggles getting off me.

“Please go to your room and take off you uniform young lady. I will be
there in a minute to help you with you dress. “Okay mommy.” She says
leaving us. Letsatsi sits on my lap and looks deep into my eyes before
she kisses me.

“Is everything okay my love?” I say after the kiss.

“Yes, baby everything is fine. I am just missing you.”

“But you in my arms nje.” I say brushing her arm.

“I know silly

but I have an itch down there that only you can scratch sthandwa
sami.” I burst out in laughter because who is this woman? “What’s so
funny?”

“It’s the way you said it baby. But what will we do with the kids?”

“You are not spontaneous anymore lover ai cha.” We both laugh again.
She is wearing a bodycon dress and her thighs are exposed, I really
don’t mind taking her here right now but basile labantwana. I brush my
hand on her thigh and gazing in each other’s eyes.
“I have an idea. How about we go to Zimbali, drop the kids off for the
weekend, we get food and wine I cook, and we can bang each other all
weekend long?”

“I like the sound of that, and I have missed your cooking and I have this
red number I bought.” I groan at the sound of that. “Mommy.” “Let me
go get the kids ready and we can go. I will text your mom.”

“I will call her love.” She nods and leaves the office. I call my mother
and she is happy to have the kids visit. We all have been busy we
haven’t had time to all see each other, my friends included. But we
want to plan a Christmas dinner at our house this year since all
renovations have been done.

We have dropped off the kids at my parent’s house and stocked up on

some groceries and a few wine bottles that we will need but for tonight
we order in and just chilling watching a movie. It reminds me of back in
the day.
“This brings back old memories baby.” I say tossing popcorn in my
mouth and her downing the juice in her hand. Here’s to getting wine
drunk together.

“It sure does babe. We have been at it hey? From friends to sexing to
dumbing each other and now we here.”

“We are living a fairytale sthandwa.” We both laugh. “Your laugh

sooths me and I want to her it all the time baby I will lose it if I never
hear it again.”

“Awu. I will turn ice cold without your touch and your love husbae.” She
straddles me with her hands roaming my chest. My hands go under her
blouse and cups are breast. “Your nipples are so hard baby do you still
have the itch?” I ask teasingly.
“It’s still there lover and it has intensified but before you scratch it I
have some news for you.” I frow.

**

Letsatsi

“It is still there; lover and it has intensified but before you scratch it, I
have some news for you.”

“Is it good or bad first? I don’t want you to spoil the mood.”
“I am never the carrier of bad news love. Its good news.” He plasters
that sexy smile of his.

“Ok I am listening.” I am nervous because I don’t know how he feels

about this one, but he did say he would love more kids in the future.
“Khuluma maTau.”

“Mara baby let us start with some adult time then I will tell you.”

“Ai” he shakes his head. Let’s talk first, adult time after.

“Okay let me show you rather because I don’t trust my voice.” I get up
and rush upstairs, I change to pn of my many new lingerie sets and I
take the scan I had done today before getting the kids from school. I
walk back downstairs trying to maintain my sexy walk. His face
brightens up and the jaw is wide open as soon as he sees me. He
whistles.

“You look fucking sexy. I love the color.”

“I new you would like it. Close your eyes baby.” He does as he is told. I
have the picture in from of my face. “Okay you can open them
Pholoba.” The room is quiet, and my eyes are still closed, he takes the
printout and holds my hands.

“Tsasti. Please open your eyes.” I giggle and open my eyes. This is not a
look I was expecting, why is he mute and digging deep in my soul. I look
down and release a breath I have been holding. “When did you find
out?”

“Today.”
“Please look at me wifey.” Okay he is not mad right? I look up. He cups
my face and smashes his lips on mine. Okay so he is happy like I am?

“You are not mad at me?”

“Why would I be baby. I am so happy right now. Did you know?” I shake
my head no. “Apart from the glow, you didn’t show any signs of being
pregnant.”

“I am glowing? Don’t lie.” 51 - Our Happy Ending (Continued)

“Yes, mama you are. So how far a long are you?” It still melts my heart
when he says mama with his deep sexy voice. Oh, my curly head
husband.
“The scan says 8 weeks. 2 Months pregnant.”

“How do you feel about this one?”

“I’m happy baby to much even.” I say kissing him.”

“Thank you, baby, for making me this happy, you have been nothing
but joy in my life.” He says kissing me softly

All I can say he poured out his feeling through out love making.
**

Everyone looks good, the vibe is what I was expecting. Jolly and joyful
you can feel the love in the air. We are hosting a Christmas lunch at our
home, and we will break the news about us expecting since we now on
the second trimester. Thanks to Lesedi our chef everything is ready, and
our gets are seated outside. Thank the gods for this beautiful KZN
weather.

I am wearing a white flowy dress, Cebi is also wearing a white dress and
as for the boys its chino shorts and white t-shirts. Sya is hot and he still
gives me butterflies and shivers down my spine.

He still makes me weak, We make our way outside to join everyone on

the table, Cebi runs to her grand parents I hug Gogo and kiss her cheek.
Shame man Gogo is old, old now but we all grateful she is still with us,
Lehumo loves her very much. I am seated next to my husband sitting at
the head of the table and my mom next to me. The other end of it it’s
Tendai and mama. Lungisani couldn’t make it he is with Mbali’s family
this year.

“Letsego my brother why are you so scarce lately?” I ask my brother

across the table.

“Oh, dear sister. It’s my job it keeps me so busy.” I roll my eyes at my

diva of a brother.

“Agg, please” we laugh. “How’s that going though?”

“I love it. When you two decide on when you will have your white
wedding

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don’t look to far for a planner and a stylist I go you.” I laugh out loud.

“Vele bhuti. Why will we want to pay when you can gift us.”

“Not happening Syamthanda. Why mara maZulu alapisa?” Laughter

erupts on the table.

“Don’t mind him brother. His card is in my purse.” We laugh as he

screams. My sister, my chef Lesedi says we can dig in. Everyone is
enjoying the meal and the conversation is flowing, I watch everyone
that’s dinning with us. With all my years with this family it has always
been ups then downs. If I am being honest working things out with my
family was because of them, I will forever be grateful.

**
This is a tradition I would like my kids to follow, after eating and
cleaning up we all sit together either outside by the fire, the lounge or
the patio for drinks and reminisce on old tales that Gogo tells. My Gogo
is old but still standing. We are all sitting in the patio on the kids inside
the house doing lord knows what.

“Thank you for hosting us, guys. Lesedi, I think you should be my
personal chef. No offence mother.” Sbani says.

“None taking baby.”

“I charge Sbani.” We all laugh. “No family discounts.” We laugh again.

“Ma what’s to speak people. Get the kids Msi.” Tendai says. They all
come rushing outside. Lehumo goes to his mother and Cebi is with
baba.

“God has spared me so I can see you all grow up to these responsible
men and no grandfathers, Anesi, Tendai and Tinashe you have followed
your father’s footstep with honor, and I am grateful. Sipho, Carl,
Themba well done my children for the growth you’ve made, thank you
for all my grandkids and Sya for my grate grandkids. I love you all.
Mama and her crew are crying as always. We all get up to hug her.

I am about to drop a bomb while everyone is in a good mood. I am

nervous not sure why a 35-year-old can be scared.

“We are expecting a baby.”

“Speak up Symathanda.” My mother says.

“We’re having a baby mama.” Everyone is happy and congratulating us.

I look at my lady besides me and kiss her hand. “I love you Tsatsi.” “I
love you too husbae.”

“Well, here’s to a great year everyone.” Tendai says.

When God says yes no one can says no, his timing is always right, and I
will forever be grateful for shaping my life to what it is today. My
journey of finding love has come to an end. I guess it’s true what they
say about love at first sight and finding your soulmate because Letsatsi
is who I want to carry with forever.