BONUS!

the
obsession
Scenario #3 method
How To Kiss A Woman BY Kate Spring
A man and woman are sitting on a couch together. Maybe they’ve
just finished a dinner date and have decided that they wanted
to continue hanging out by chatting back at his place, or maybe
they’ve both planned on a Netflix evening and chill. Either way, this
is a potentially intimate setting and one with the possibility that
something more than holding hands might happen.

This may describe where you are in your

own recently new relationship. It also
may describe the time when you
want to turn up the temperature
in your budding romance. But we
have some steps to go through
so that you can set the scene and
figure out if this girl wants to take
your relationship one step further,
if she wants to be kissed, and how,
when the signals are given that she
wants to be kissed, you lean in for
that telling first kiss.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 2

Let’s begin at the beginning with how
to spark her interest in advancing
your relationship. At this stage,
you want to increase her
desire to get closer to you,
and if you want to kiss her,
you have to work on your
body language first. This
is what I call the “Starry
Gaze Step” You want to
motivate her desire to be
with you, physically, through
how you look at her and how
you touch her.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 3

 PART 1:
“Starry Gaze” how you look at and touch a woman

As you can see here, Tim and Ericka are sitting on the couch. He
should arrange it so that there isn’t much space between the two of
them. For example, a good way to go about this would be for Tim to
sit down first, and then for him to place his right arm on the back
of the couch and, using his left hand, pat down the seat to his right
to indicate that Ericka should come and sit down in his embrace. If
he sits in the middle of the couch, he has cut the potential distance
between them in half.

If that’s too forward for you, no worries. We can also start just sitting
side by side. Before any of this though, it’s important for you to get
into the habit of hugging as a greeting. The hug counts as kind of
your warm up and lets her know that there is a physical component
to this relationship. It’s also establishes a comfort zone in which
intimacy can occur.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 4

Alright, you’re sitting down and you’re trying to decide on to watch.
You finally both decide on the movie for the night, and you’re
settling into your comfortable movie watching position. It’s
your job to be in charge of moving this interaction
along so you could start by putting your arm
around her. That is your first step.

The next step is to gently stroke the

side of her arm that your arm has
reached over to. This is a great
way to tell if she’s into it. If she is,
she won’t move because she won’t
want you to stop. However, if she
does want you to stop, she will move
away so that your arm is no longer
around her.

You can also just place your hand on her

knee and either gently stroke it or lightly tickle
her to make the encounter playful.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 5

The goal of this encounter is to get cuddly. The more the two of you
can loosen up the better.

How not to proceed in this scenario is if you just sat down, didn’t
say anything and didn’t touch her at all and then, all of a sudden,
out of nowhere, leaned in for the kiss. That would
be a shock to her. You want to use this
opportunity to tease her before you
actually give in and kiss her. At this
point, the idea is to be working on
the gradual yet natural build up
to smooching. Excitement and
sexual tension are heightened
by anticipation. So don’t rush.

Setting the scene is so

important. Watching a scary
movie is a great thing to do
here. It forces you to dim the
lights, snuggle up to one another,

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 6

and maybe curl up under a blanket to get cozy. It also gives her
an excuse to be the damsel and for you to protect her. During a
frightening scene, she might bury her face in your arm and/
or look to you for comfort and protection, which
allows you to tap into your masculine role of
protector. This is an easy invitation for
you to wrap your arms around her and
comfort her. You could even tickle
her to give her a little scare to keep
things playful. And then she might
give you a joking scolding glare.

The starry gaze that I’m talking

about here is establishing eye
contact in such a way that you let
her know that you’re thinking about
kissing her, but not just yet. You want
to look at her in the eyes with a soft closed
mouth smile, just a quick glance. It shouldn’t be
lingering look where she feels like you’re watching her
too intently. No, just a look that lets her know that you’re looking at

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 7

her. She might even say, “what are you looking at?” you could say,
“you’re so cute when you’re scared.” That is some cringe worthy
flirting right there. The kind of flirting that, when you see other
people do it you’re like, ew, gross, but when you do it in the privacy
of your own home without an audience it feels really great.

As you know by now, eye contact is one of

the most influential and effective ways
to persuade and encourage people.
Our eyes reveal our emotions and
feelings and if you’re beginning
to feel desire, then you’re eye
contact will mirror those
feelings. Your gaze will soften
and become more serious.
Meaning your eyes won’t be
strained wide open, but they
will be open in a relaxed way.
Your pupils will be dilated to take
in the pleasing and attractive view in
front of you (your date).

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 8

Looking at your date for a small period of time without looking
away can start to turn the interaction in a more serious sensual
direction. It can move away from the light-hearted playfulness that
usually goes along with these kinds of dates. There is a necessary
shift that needs to take place, and that shift all happens with and
through your gaze.

As you can see, Tim is now initiating that

shift from playful to sensual by engaging
in some “dreamy” eye contact without
breaking it—Dreamy eye contact is the
relax narrowed eyes—If she looks back
and engages in this eye contact, too,
then the game has commenced. If she
avoids your eye contact, then you need
to let up and increase the anticipation.

Now that you have initiated the shift, it’s

time to look at some of the gestures that a
woman will use to indicate that she is in fact ready
and willing for you to kiss her. These are her indicators of interest.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 9

 PART 2:
Body Talk (Indicators of Interest)

Indicators of interest, or IOIs are nonverbal ways to tell if a woman

is interested in you or not. And here, these are going to be crucial
for you to understand as you try and decipher if she wants to be
kissed by you and when.

In my experience, most women don’t typically like being asked by a

man if he can kiss her. They feel more attracted to a man when he is
able to assess the scene, take charge and make the first move.

So what are her indicators of interest in an interaction like this?

The first one that I would look for is what I call “The marshmallow
move”. This is when a woman is leaning into you like Ericka is
to Tim here. She’s formed to him like a melted marshmallow just
sticking to him. This also means she’s leaning on you and into you;
she’s getting more and more comfortable with you.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 10

I should mention that in order for you to get to this step, it’s
important for her to feel comfortable with you, and the way that
you ensure that is by opening yourself up to a). touch her first, and
b). allow yourself to be touched by her. This stage means what we
discussed earlier about putting your arm on the back of the couch
and inviting her into your embrace.

This also has to do with how you sit. If you lay down at one
end of the couch with your feet facing her, you’re
sending off the vibe that you’re not into her
and you’re more into your comfort and the
movie. Your legs shouldn’t be crossed;
your posture should be relaxed and
inviting. Your body posture sets the
stage for her to relax too.

Maybe Ericka has gone so far as to lean

on you and to even hold onto your arm
that she’s leaning on. That would bring
us to our next IOI, which is if she makes
excuses to touch you.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 11

Or “Skin to Skin Stage:”

This is when a woman is making any and every excuse that she can
to touch you. When a woman touches you and makes flirty excuses
to touch you, she might be wanting you to escalate things. When
her touch becomes more and more frequent, that too is
an indication that she wants you to touch her.

Woman will also maybe brush

something out of your hair or off of
your arm as an attempt to touch
you. Or she might accidentally
touch you and then quickly
correct herself, but the thing to
look out for is if she touches you
again, and then it’s intentional
and she’s, nonverbally, letting you
that things are moving forward for
you two. Just as your body posture is
saying relax, and come close, her body
talk is saying yes, and let’s continue.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 12

Another thing that she could do to indicate that she is feeling more
and more comfortable with you is The Lustful Lean. That is if she
leans her head on your shoulder. This is a sign of comfort and of
her trying to get next to you. Some of these gestures are quite plain
and simple. I would just look for a couple of these moves before
making your move. Look for maybe more than one of these IOIs
before you make your move. That way you
know for sure she wants to be kissed, and
I mean, the longer you wait, the more
anticipation you build and the more
you intensify the sexual tension.
When you are physically
close and comfortable, you
have created a space for her
imagination to play.

She may look at you and laugh.

This could indicate that she likes
you and is ready to advance things. If
she looks at you when she laughs, she’s
trying to see if you have a similar sense

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 13

of humor. Because she’s trying to see how you two will function
in the long run and see if you have a similar sense of humor.
This is an unconscious thing that most people do when they like
someone, but they start to envision their crush in their life and
they want to alter their reaction accordingly to make themselves
seem like the most attractive and compatible candidate to date.
This can happen in the space of that comfortable
space of closeness that you have established.
It is also a prelude to her giving you a
signal to proceed.

She could start to lick or rub

her own lips to draw your gaze
towards her mouth. She could
also use the tactic of looking at
your lips to indicate that she’s
thinking about kissing you.

The bottom line is that when

you want to attract someone of the
opposite sex, you highlight your sexual

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 14

differences. Or your gender differences, by practicing some of the
roles prescribed to your gender.

For example, if a woman sits up straight and pushes her chest out,
she’s emphasizing her breasts, which is one of
the most obvious sexual differences
she’s hinting that things could and
should get a little hotter.

Ok, so now that I think you

have a general overview
of a female IOIs in this
scenario, let’s look at
the steps necessary to
actually kiss your date
and make it memorable.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 15

 PART 3:
“The magnetic move” how to kiss a woman

Kissing shouldn’t just be a stationary act of lips coming into

contact; no, it should be a fluid motion. You want to make this
moment memorable and an invitation for more. No pressure, but
your success comes in finding a rhythm. You are about to enter a
gentle conversation in which kisses are your words. At this point,
you want to start by re-engaging in some unadulterated eye contact
and slowly move in and then pause right before you make contact
lip to lip and look at make eye contact with her lips and then move
in to the kiss closing your eyes and moving your hands to her face
or at the small of her back or at her hips. Just make sure that you
use your hands here. For the kiss, specifically, I want you to go
slowly. Avoid using your tongue right away. Take her bottom lip in
between your lips and gently suck on it, and then flow into another
one, move to her upper lip. Then take a little break from your
exploratory kisses and make some eye contact again and then move
to her neck and nuzzle her ears. This is one of the female erogenous
zones. A sensitive area that is easily aroused.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 16

You can then go back to kissing on the mouth, you can slowly
introduce some tongue and really let yourselves get into it by
moving your head slowly from side to side and changing up your
hand positions. To start, place one of your hands where the bottom
of her face meets her neck. That way you can pull her into your
kiss. Or you can place your hands at the nape of her
neck kind of entwined in her hair, or you can
gently put your arm around her waist in
a motion to bring her closer to you, all
while kissing. Touching should be
involved while you kiss to make it
more passionate

This kind of kissing is a fantastic

release from your built up sexual
tension. It will be exhilarating for
a woman if you can build tension
through kissing, touching and teasing
all at the same time.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 17

This is a scenario that could welcome some heavy petting and lead
to sex. But remember to start slow, build the tension, lead gently
into a physical intimacy and give, not take, pleasure.
Be in charge but be sure to let her be an active
participant, not merely an object of your
desires.

If you have arrived at the stage of a

passionate embrace and can feel her
desires for you growing, you may
want to move things along. You
can start to change your position
from a seated to lying down. Place
your hand on her hip and gently
pull her towards you. Continue to kiss
her as you guide her to lie down on the
couch. From there, things can move in a
sensual direction if you’re both willing to take
it there. Wherever this encounter may lead, and it
will lead somewhere, it has the best chance of success if it begins
with a well-timed, well-planned kiss.

SCENARIO #3 HOW TO KISS A WOMAN 18