Introductory assignment

Michelle Do
COMM 1000
Angie Nikolakakis
Thursday, September 28,2023

Scenario 1 -

You received a 5/100 on an assignment and are upset and confused by this mark. You draft an email to your
professor and show it to your friend before you hit “send.” Your friend replies “Woah, you’re going to send that?”
After your friend leaves, you decide to revise it before sending.

Here is the email you drafted:

“Hi. Why is my mark 5/100? I put a lot of work into this assignment and there is no way that I deserve only a
5/100. I don’t know if you think I cheated, but I didn’t. If you don’t change my mark I am going to email the
president of the college. I can’t believe you want me to fail.
I demand to re-write the assignment right away.
Thanks.”

Reflecting on your knowledge of audience, purpose, and tone, revise your email. Be sure your purpose is clear and
that you use a tone and vocabulary that will help you achieve your goals.

Answer the following 3 questions before writing your revision.

1. Consider the audience and purpose. Who is this for, and what are you trying to achieve?
a. Who is the audience? (Choose one)
o The professor
o The President of the college
o A fellow student

The professor

b. What is the purpose? (Choose one)

o Express anger
o Request a re-write
o Request a meeting or more feedback
Request a re-write

2. Consider the tone of the communication.

a. Why is the current tone of the email inappropriate? (1-2 sentences)

b. What would be an appropriate tone for this email? (1-2 sentences)
The current tone is inappropriate for this email because the student is really mad at the professor for giving them a
bad grade.
What would be appropriate for the email is that the student need to introduce themselves in the email and by
saying hello my name is Michelle for example and can I have an extension on my assignment
Thanks Michelle for example.

3. Identify 3 specific things that are wrong with this communication based on the intended audience,
purpose and tone?
They need to introduce themselves in the email with their name
And thanks with their name at the end of the email.
And they tone is very angry which is rude and not polite
And they didn’t put the subject

4. Now, write your revised email below:

Request a re-write
Hi Angie,
My name is Michelle. I hope that you are doing well. I was wondering why I got a 5/100 on my assignment
because I never cheated of any of my friends' work or assignment. I am asking if you could please let me
re-write the assignment if it is not too late and I will hand it in on Thursday.
Thanks Michelle