Phần 5 TOEIC

WRITING
TOEIC Writing Tips
1. Know the format of the test– The first and foremost thing you need to
do is to get acquaintance with the format of the TOEIC English test.
This will not only help you know what types of questions you will be
asked but also prepare a strategy to deal with them. This will also keep
you calm and confident on the test day.
2. Develop a strategy- After you have known what kind of questions you
will be asked on the TOEIC writing test; develop a strategy to tackle
each kind of questions. You can practice beforehand to know which
questions take more time and which ones take less time. This way you
can also manage your time for the TOEIC writing test.
3. Time management- Time management is the key in TOEIC writing
test. You are required to answer 8 questions for different writing tasks.
Each kind of question requires a different strategy to follow. During
the practice time, you can know which questions take more time and
which ones take less (as stated above). Accordingly, you can manage
time for the different type of questions.
4. Learn to brainstorm- Brainstorming is vital in TOEIC writing test.
Since the different aspects of your writing skills are going to be
assessed. Therefore you need to brainstorm to get an idea what the
topic, picture or essay is about. This will also develop your creative
thinking skills for the test.
5. Take help– You can get help from someone who is experienced. After
writing, get your writing checked by an experienced or skilled person
who can guide you about your mistakes and how to correct them. This
is a good way to improving your writing skills and hence mistakes.

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 Task Description Evaluation Criteria
1–5
Write a  Write 1 sentence based on a
sentence picture.  Grammar
based  With each picture, you will be  Relevance of the
on a given 2 words or phrases that sentences
picture you must use in your sentence.
 You can change the forms of the
words and you can use the words
in any order.

6–7 Respond  Vocabulary

to a  You will show how well you can  Organization of
written write a response to an email. content
request  You will have 10 minutes to  Quality and variety
read and answer each email. of sentences
8
 You will write an essay in  Grammar
Write an response to a question that asks  Vocabulary
opinion you to state, explain and support  Organization of
essay your opinion on an issue. ideas
 Typically, an effective essay will  Whether opinion is
contain a minimum of 300 supported
words.

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 DESCRIBE

A PICTURE

Questions 1-5: Pictures

In questions 1-5 you will be asked to write sentences based on
pictures. Each picture will have two words that you must use in
your sentence. You can change the forms of the words. You will be
scored on grammar as well as on the relevance of the sentence to
the picture.
Question 1: fishing, at

248
 Questions 1-5: Pictures
In questions 1-5 you will be asked to write sentences based on
pictures. Each picture will have two words that you must use in
your sentence. You can change the forms of the words. You will be
scored on grammar as well as on the relevance of the sentence to
the picture.
Question 2: together, table

249
 Questions 1-5: Pictures
In questions 1-5 you will be asked to write sentences based on
pictures. Each picture will have two words that you must use in
your sentence. You can change the forms of the words. You will be
scored on grammar as well as on the relevance of the sentence to
the picture.
Question 3: beside, chatting

250
 Questions 1-5: Pictures
In questions 1-5 you will be asked to write sentences based on
pictures. Each picture will have two words that you must use in
your sentence. You can change the forms of the words. You will be
scored on grammar as well as on the relevance of the sentence to
the picture.

Question 4: frame, but

251
 Questions 1-5: Pictures
In questions 1-5 you will be asked to write sentences based on
pictures. Each picture will have two words that you must use in
your sentence. You can change the forms of the words. You will be
scored on grammar as well as on the relevance of the sentence to
the picture.

Question 5: baggage, open

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 RESPOND

AN EMAIL

Questions 6-7: Written Requests

For these questions you will have to respond in writing to an email
request. You will have ten minutes to read and respond to each
question.
Example: Read the email
Hello. I've been looking at the photo gallery of your online home
buyer's ad. Congratulations on trying to sell your home without a
real estate agent. It is difficult (we have done it twice) but is worth
the effort if you find a reasonable buyer. My sister is interested in
buying a home in your region. Your home could be ideal if you are
willing to negotiate the price. Your asking price is about $10, 000
above her budget. She also wants to live near an elementary school
tiện nghi
and a bus route. I'm not sure if your home is near these amenities.
Could you let me know about these details? Most importantly, are
you open to negotiation on the price? Please let me know when the
house would be available for viewing.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Taryn Kent

Directions: Respond to the email as if you are trying to sell your

house privately. Answer the questions and provide at least TWO
details about the neighbourhood and ONE reason why you can or
can't negotiate the price.

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 SAMPLE ANSWER
For these questions you will have to respond in writing to an email
request. You will have ten minutes to read and respond to each
question.
Sample response:

To: Taryn Kent

From: Home Owner
Subject: My home
Sent: January 8

Hi. Thank you for your message. We are excited about selling our
home privately. Your sister is welcome to call me at 222-444-4444
to schedule a time to see our home. We will be showing it this
weekend. We are willing to negotiate but will not be able to drop
the price too much. We have just spent $7000 on basement
renovations.

There is an elementary school a few blocks from here. It has a very

good reputation. The local bus stop is about a five minute walk
down the hill. I look forward to meeting your sister. Thank you for
reviewing the photos. We love this house and have lived here for
twenty years.

Warm regards,
James Canyon

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Bài 1. Description of Question Type
In this part of the test, you will be asked to respond to an e-mail asking
you for information. You will read a short e-mail, then you will be given
specific instructions on what to include in your response. For example,
after an e-mail asking for directions, you may be asked to include four
steps. (You can’t just say, It’s right across the street from you.) You
will have 10 minutes to read the e-mail and the additional instructions
and write your response.
Your response will be scored on
1. the quality and variety of your sentences,
2. vocabulary, and
3. organization.

EMAIL 1: Read the e-mail below.

From: Stewart Balkin
To: James Howard
Subject: Account Manager position
Sent: January 12, 4:12 p.m.

Dear Mr. Howard,

Thank you for your interest in the Account Manager position. I would
like to invite you to interview for the position. We are scheduling
interviews on Tuesday and Thursday after 1 p.m. Could you please
submit three times that work for you?

Sincerely,
Stewart Balkin, Manager of Human Resources
Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, give TWO pieces
of information.

255
EMAIL 2 : Read the e-mail below.
From: Kelly Hartfield
To: Nan Schmidt
Subject: Dinner
Sent: March 1, 2:33 p.m.

Hi, Nan.
Thanks for inviting Donald and me to me your potluck dinner! We
would love to come. Could you tell me what sort of dish we should
bring? And, do any other guests have dietary restrictions that you know
of?
Thanks,
Kelly

Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, give at least TWO

pieces of information.

EMAIL 3: Read the e-mail below.

From: Deborah Lewiston
To: Celia Phillips
Subject: Schedule
Sent: June 8, 9:20 a.m.
Celia,
I don’t seem to have gotten your vacation time request last week. I am
trying to put together s schedule of everybody’s time off and would like
to include yours. Could you please tell me which (if any) days you plan
to take off between now and the end of August?
Thanks,
Deborah

Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, give TWO pieces

of information and ask ONE question.

256
 Bài 2. Beginning Your Email
In this part of the test, you will be asked to respond to an e-mail asking
you for information. Your responses sound more natural if you begin
with a greeting and an acknowledgment that you received the request. In
this unit, we will practice how to begin how to begin your message.
Once decision you need to make to determine how to respond is how
formal your response will be. Your response should be about as formal
as the e-mail you receive. Use a simple rating system to determine how
formal it is.
1. Formal: An e-mail from someone you don’t know about business
matters.
2. Somewhere in between formal and informal
3. Informal: An e-mail from someone you know about personal
matters.

FORMAL LETTER
From: Sunnyvale Public Library
To: S. Cameron
Subject: Overdue books
Sent: July 16, 8:15 p.m.

According to our record, you borrowed two books that were due July 2
and they have not been returned. There is now a late fee of $6.15 owed
on these books. Please return them as soon as possible to avoid greater
late fee.

Thank you.

The e-mail is from someone you do not know. It has to do with business
matters. It ranks a 1 on the formality scale. Your response needs to be
more formal as well.

You might respond

To Whom It May Concern,
I received your notice starting that I owe $6.15 for overdue books.

257
BETWEEN FORMAL AND INFORMAL LETTER

From: speters@google.com
To: Jevens@google.com
Subject: Travel Directions
We’ve never met, but I got your name from Ralph in Tech Services. He
said you travel a lot. I’m taking my first business trip next month. Can
you tell me how to get to the airport from Cupertino?
Jim
This e-mail rates a 2 on the formality scale. The recipient doesn’t know
Jim, but they work together, and the request is somewhat personal in
nature.
You might respond
Dear Jim,
I’d be happy to tell you how to get to the airport.

INFORMAL LETTER
From: Jane
To: Dan
Subject: This weekend
Hi, Dan
I just wanted to see if we were still going to see a movie together this
weekend. I’d really like to see Murder Mystery! I’m free Saturday
afternoon.
Jane
This e-mail is from someone you know and it relates to personal matters.
Below is an opening for an informal response
You might respond
Jane,
Good to hear from you!

258
1. Formal
To Whom It May Concern,/ Dear [Mr./Ms. Last Name],
I received your e-mail stating that [subject of the original e-mail].

2. In between
Dear [ Name],
I’d be happy to tell you [information requested].

3. Informal
[Name],
Good to hear from you!

EMAIL 4: Read the e-mail below.

From: Carl Jones
To: Steven Rappaport
Subject: Question about your fundraiser
Sent: February 19, 3:47 p.m.

Dear Steven,

We met briefly last year at the Organizers Conference. I remember that

you discussed a fundraiser you were organizing which honored a
previous major donor. We are considering organizing a similar
fundraiser, with the major donor as a speaker. I wondered if you could
tell me how you chose the donor and if the event was successful.
Regards,
Carl

Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, give TWO pieces

of information and ask ONE question.

259
EMAIL 5: Read the e-mail below.
From: Farmdale Reporter
To: Daniel T. Smith
Subject: Your subscription
Sent: April 3, 2:08 p.m.

Dear Mr. Smith,

We are writing to notify you that the credit card number you provide us
iu no longer valid. Please provide us with a different account if you
would like to continue to receive home delivery of the Farmdale
Reporter. Please include your card’s expiration date. We value your
business.
Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, ask ONE question
and provide TWO pieces of information.

EMAIL 6: Read the e-mail below.

From: Samantha Pollock, President, Class of 2002
To: Charles Davis, Class of 2002
Subject: Our 5th reunion!
Dear Charles,
It seems like just yesterday that we graduated, but our fifth reunion is
coming up. Your class officers are very excited, and we hope you are
too. At this point, we are asking you to vote on which band you would
like to schedule. We are considering the White Tigers, Hello Hello, and
Rocket. Please also suggest any topics that you might want covered in
the “courses” the university offers for alumni.
Thanks,
Samantha

Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, make TWO

suggestions and ask ONE question.

260
EMAIL 7: Read the e-mail below.
From: Jonathan Beckel
To: Elizabeth Jeffery
Subject: Internships
Sent: May 2, 2:31 p.m.

Dear Ms. Jeffery,

I am very interested in your summer internship program. I am an

economics major specializing in market analysis. I’m very interested in
gaining experience researching stocks. Could you please tell me the start
and end dates of the internship? And does the internship come with pay
or a stipend?

Thank you
Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, give TWO pieces
of information and ask ONE question.

EMAIL 8: Read the e-mail below.

From: Jonathan Beckel
To: Elizabeth Jeffery
Subject: Internships

Dear Ms. Jeffery,

I am very interested in your summer internship program. I am an

economics major specializing in market analysis. I’m very interested in
gaining experience researching stocks. Could you please tell me the start
and end dates of the internship? And does the internship come with pay
or a stipend?

Thank you
Directions: Respond to the e-mail. In your e-mail, give TWO pieces
of information and ask ONE question.

261
Bài 3. Giving “How To” Instructions
Some of the e-mails in this section of the test will ask you to explain
how to do something. For example, you might be asked how to send a
fax or bake a cake. In this unit, you will learn a few linguistic
“signposts” to use to make your instructions more precise. Using these
signposts will boost your score for organization.

Basically, when you give instructions, you are guiding someone through
a series of steps in sequence. These are appropriate words to indicate
sequence:
First, [step 1]
Next, [step 2]
Then, [step 3]
Finally, [last step]
Using these words will help the reader have a clear idea of the order of
instructions.
Often, when you give instructions, you also need to help the person
avoid common mistakes. Here are some phrases that clearly indicate
that’s what you’re doing.

 Be careful not to leave the oven on.

 Be sure to turn off the oven when you leave.
 Don’t forget to turn off the oven when you leave.
 If the paper jams, then clear the paper and turn the copier off.

Notice that the first phrase specifically tells someone what not to do,
whereas the next two remind the person of what they need to do.

262
EMAIL 9: Read the e-mail below.
From: Alyssa Levine
To: Carson Davidson
Subject: Ruth’s birthday

Hi, Carson.

Thanks so much for making sure Ruth gets s birthday cake tomorrow. I
understand she wants a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. I basically
know how to make a cake, but wondered if you could tell me exactly
how to make the cake Ruth likes.
Thanks in advance!

Directions: Respond to the e-mail as if you are Ruth’s boyfriend,

Carson. In your e-mail, tell Alyssa how to make Ruth’s favorite birthday
cake. Your instructions should include at least THREE steps.

EMAIL 10: Read the e-mail below.

From: Rechel Jones
To: David Rome
Subject: Babysitting

Hi, David.

I’m really excited to babysit for you and April tomorrow. I’m a tiny bit
worried about getting Ben to sleep, though. You had said there was a
magic way to get him to go to sleep. Could you tell me again what it is?
Otherwise, I can’t wait to spend time with baby Ben!
Thanks!

Directions: Respond to the e-mail as if you are Ben’s father, David.

In your e-mail, tell Rachel how to get the baby to go sleep. Your
instructions should include at least THREE steps.

263
 Bài 4. Giving Directions
In the last unit, you learned how to give how to instructions. In this unit,
you will learn how to give directions to a certain place. Using the right
vocabulary for giving directions will improve the vocabulary portion of
your score.
The following phrases/ sentences are useful in giving directions.
 Go out the door and take a left
 Follow this street until you get to Van Hour Avenue
 Follow the signs for Hastings Boulevard
 Turn right/ Take a right
 Turn left/ Take a left
 Look for the orange sign
 Go 3 blocks
 At the fourth light
 You’ll see a corner store on the right.
 My house is the second one on the left.
 If you pass Carlton Street, you’ve gone too far.
 Take the Main Street exit
Here are sample instructions:
Go out the door and make a left. Go down one block to 24th Street.
Make a left. Follow 24th Street about 6 blocks until you reach South
Van Ness. Make a right. The grocery store is halfway down the block
on the right. If you reach 23rd Street, you’ve gone too far.

264
EMAIL 11: Read the e-mail below.
From: Dan Jacson
To: Matthew Koster
Subject: Plans

Hi, Matthew.

I wanted to let you know that my flight arrives Friday at 2:30. I have a
rental car all lined up, so all I need to know is how to get to your house.
I’ll be coming in on Route 1 headed north, so I just need to know how to
get your place from there. Thanks a bunch, and I can’t wait to see you!

Directions: Respond to the e-mail as if you are Matthew Koster. In

your e-mail, tell Dan how to get to your house from the highway. Your
instructions should include at least THREE steps.

EMAIL 12: Read the e-mail below.

From: Kevin Franklin
To: Shirley Daniels
Subject: Post office
Ms. Daniels,
I am ready to send the mailing out. I have everything in envelopes and
ready to go. The only thing is, the post office told me they won’t pick up
a mass mailing, so I’ll need to take them to the post office myself. Could
you tell me where the nearest post office is? I would really appreciate it.
Thank you!

Directions: Respond to the e-mail as if you are Shirley Daniels. In

your e-mail, tell Kevin how to get to the post office. Your instructions
should include at least THREE steps.

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 Bài 5. Closing Your Message
Using appropriate closing sentences to conclude your message gives you
one final chance to demonstrate your excellent skills in written English.
In fact, memorizing just four sentences will allow you to use your
concluding sentence to demonstrate grammatical variety, vocabulary and
organization – three bases for your score on this section.

1. When you are giving how to instructions, an appropriate concluding

sentence is:
 If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask.

2. When you are giving directions, an appropriate concluding sentence

is:
 If you get lost, feel free to call me.

3. If you are giving information about a job, an item for sale, or some
other situations in which the person will determine whether they are
interested in learning more based on your responses, an appropriate
concluding sentence is:
 Please let me know if there’s any other information I
can help you with.

4. Finally, if your correspondence involves setting up a meeting or

making plans for a visit, there are two different ways to conclude
your e-mail. If your correspondence is formal – for example, setting
up a business meeting – an appropriate concluding sentence is:
 I look forward to meeting you.

5. If your correspondence is informal – for example, making plans with

a friend – an appropriate concluding sentence is:
 I can’t wait to see you!

Memorize these sentences and use them to conclude your messages

where appropriate as you answer the following three e-mails.

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EMAIL 13: Read the e-mail below.
From: Carla Sondheim
To: Edward McCurdy
Subject: Car for sale
Edward,
I am interested in the ’94 Toyota you have for sale. Could you tell me
when the last maintenance work was done on it? Does it need any
repairs now (including body work)? Also, when would be a good time
for me to come and see it?

Directions: Respond to the e-mail as if you are Edward McCurdy. In

your e-mail, answer Carla’s questions. Your e-mail should include at
least THREE pieces of information and ONE question.

EMAIL 14: Read the e-mail below.

From: James Cohen
To: Briana Nelson
Subject: Apartment for rent
Ms. Nelson,
I am interested in the apartment you have for rent. Can you tell me how
big it is, and if it has any yard? Also, what is the neighborhood like, in
terms of nearby stores and safety? I am free any day next week to come
and see it, so let me know when is a good time for you
Thank you!
Directions: Respond to the e-mail as if you are Briana Nelson. In
your e-mail, answer James’ questions. Your e-mail should include at
least THREE pieces of information.

267
 OPINION

ESSAY
Questions 8: Opinion Essay
In this part of the test you will be asked to write an opinion essay in
which you state, explain, and support reasons about your opinion.
You will have 30 minutes to plan and write your essay. Leave a
little time to proofread and edit your essay. Your essay should be 4-
5 paragraphs in length. It will be rated in terms of organization,
grammar, vocabulary, and coherence.

Sample Question: Some companies block their employees

from using social media networks and websites such as
Facebook. Do you think managers should trust employees
to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies
to block access to some sites? Provide reasons and
examples to support your opinion.

268
 Thời gian làm việc trung
Sample answer bình trong một ngày là từ 7
đến 8 tiếng. Vậy bao nhiêu
The average work day is seven to eight hours long. How much of tiếngthis trong khoảng thời
gian này dành cho công
time is spent working? People who work on computers have manyviệc? Nhiều người làm
distractions due to the Internet. Some companies have been forcedviệcto trên máy tính bị xao
restrict usage of certain sites, such as Facebook and Twitter due tonhãng bởi mạng Internet.
Một số công ty bắt buộc
concerns about productivity. It is a wise decision to remove these cấm sử dụng một số trang
Internet temptations. web nhất định, cụ thể như
là fb và tw để không ảnh
hưởng đến năng suất. đó là
A boss is not a babysitter. Though some people only log onto Facebook
or surf the Internet on their own time, other people cannot resist một quyết định khôn ngoan
để loại bỏ những cám dỗ
temptation. Having rules about Internet use is not enough. Some trên Internet.
employees cannot stand to be stuck in their offices without social
interaction. If they need a short break, they should be encouraged to
stand up and stretch. Unlike chatting to friends on Facebook, this type of
activity increases productivity. By blocking certain social sites from a
system, the boss need not waste time monitoring those who cannot
follow rules.
bị thiệt hại
When time is wasted online it is the company that pays for the loss.
Employees on salary still get paid no matter how productive they are.
tăng lương hoặc nhận tiền thưởng
Those who waste time may not get raises or bonuses, but they still get a
paycheque. It is only the employer that loses out when time is wasted
online. Employers should not feel guilty about restricting Internet
access. If surfing the Internet and sending out Tweets is not part of one's
job description, these activities take away from true duties.
Some employees have lost their jobs because they wrote something
online against their own company. It is too easy to press send, post, or
publish these days. Preventing employees from using certain websites
actually protects the employees as well.
trung thực
There are many honest workers who can be trusted at work. They only
check Facebook or Twitter during their break time or lunch, and they
don't post any information that could damage the company's (or their
một số nhân viên
own) reputation. Unfortunately, there are always a handful of workers
who cannot be trusted. By eliminating the temptation, employers can
prevent any problems related to Internet abuse in the workplace.

269
 Bài 1.Organizing an Essay with a Thesis Statement
Remember, the essay portion of the TOEIC Writing test is not designed
to test your ideas. It is designed to test how well you can write in
English. In other words, it tests whether you know how to put together,
or organize, an essay.
The basic structure of your essay should be as follows:
 An introductory paragraph, which concludes a thesis statement
 2-3 body paragraphs, which serve to prove your thesis statement
 A conclusion paragraph, which summarizes what you have proven
and why it matters
The most important part of your essay is the thesis statement. The thesis
statement tells the reader what your main point is. For example, if an
essay question asks whether you think career or family is more
important, your thesis stamen could be:

Although career is an important part of all of our lives, family is

more important because the most important parts of our lives have
to do with the intimacy family life provides.

Notice that the thesis statement above has both an assertion ( family is
more important) and a brief explanation (because the most important
parts of our lives have to do with the intimacy family life provides ).
A thesis statement should always include both parts.

The thesis statement is also a road map of your essay. The thesis
statement above indicates that in each of your body paragraphs, you will
show how the most important parts of our lives have to do with the
intimacy family life provides. Each body paragraph will be an
example must include both parts.

270
Prompt:
Many people work because they need money to live. What are some
other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons.
Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Student 1
Thesis: Some people work because they think they are supposed to.

 Example 1: rich people who do volunteer work

 Example 2: some women only work until they get married
 Example 3: rich people who work even when they don’t need the
money

Student 2
Thesis: People who don’t need income from a job sometimes work
anyway because work is the only way they know how to feel good about
themselves.
 Example 1: powerful CEOs have huge amounts of money, but
they enjoy being in charge too much to quit.
 Example 2: people who have inherited fortunes sometimes work
in fairly uninteresting jobs because they think working makes
them better people
Example 3: sometimes wealthy people create organizations to run rather
tha working somewhere else – it’s about their egos

•The second thesis statement includes an explanation. Notice that the

explanation makes the thesis statement more specific.
•Student 1 has two fairly similar examples – the first and the third. If Student
1 uses these examples, he or she should switch the order of the examples so
that the similar ones go together. Otherwise, the essay will be disorganized.
The first example is Student 1’s weakest example because it invites the
question of whether these people volunteer because they want to make an
impact on the world – not just because they think they are “supposed to”
work. But notice that the meaning of the thesis statement isn’t entirely clear. It
is too vague.
•Student 2’s examples are quite good. But every essay has room for
improvement! This essay could benefit from more concrete examples – who
falls into each of the categories the student mentions? Will the writer really be
able to prove what their motivations are? Of the examples, Example 2 is the
vaguest and least persuasive.
•Student 2’s essay will most likely be better than Student 1’s

271
 Bài 2. Brainstorming: Choosing Your Thesis
Your answer will not be scored based on whether the test makers agree with
your claim. It will only be scored based on whether you adequately support
whatever claim you make. Therefore, the best way to choose a claim is to see
which claim you will most readily be able to support. For example, if the
question asked you if you thought pit bulls should be illegal to breed and you
came up with two reasons why they should and three reasons why they
shouldn’t, you ought to defend the position that they should not be illegal to
breed.

As this example already suggests, the first step toward choosing a thesis
statement is to jot down the ideas you have on both sides of the issue. You
may not always choose your thesis based solely on which you come up with
more examples for. You will also need to think about which of the reasons
you will be able to explain persuasively. A reason that is so simple that it can
be fully stated and explained in one paragraph probably isn’t a good one. On
the order hand, a reason that is so abstract or complicates that you’re not sure
you would be able to argue it persuasively might be one to cross off your list
of ideas before choosing a thesis statement.

Imagine that after crossing off ideas that you don’t think will work, your notes
look like this:
Should it be illegal to breed pit bulls?
Yes
 Scientific evidence that they are more aggressive than other dogs
 People who breed fighting dogs usually breed pit bulls.
 People who want pit bulls could get other, similar dogs, such as
bulldogs or American terriers.
 Making this kind of breeding illegal would also increase animal control
departments’ ability to shut down other unethical breeders.
No
 It seems unfair to people who have well-behaved pit bulls.

Clearly, you will want to argue for making it illegal to breed pit bulls. But
your essay will be better if you can make your thesis statement a little more
specific. Do your arguments in favor have anything in common? All but the
last one share the basic philosophy that banning pit bull breeding would be a
targeted way to get rid of the most aggressive dogs. They could all fit under
the following thesis statement:
Making it illegal to breed pit bulls would decrease the number of
very aggressive dogs without burdening dog lover very much.
Since the fourth reason does not fit with this thesis statement, cross it out.

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 Four steps in arriving at the thesis statement

1. Write down ideas you have on both sides of the issue in the
question prompt
2. Eliminate ideas that you couldn’t explain well
3. Find a common thread among (most of) the remaining ideas,
and eliminate the ideas that don’t fit
4. Write the thesis to express that common thread

Unit 3. Making an Outline

After you have selected your supporting examples and written a thesis
statement, you are almost ready to write an outline. An outline should
look like this:
Thesis:
Ex. 1:
transition:
Ex. 2:
transition:
Ex. 3:
To complete the outline, all you need to do is plan which example you
will put first, second and third. There are two different ways of thinking
about order. First of all, it makes the most sense to put the most
straightforward example, or the one that requires the least amount of
explanation first. In a very good essay, your logic will be building from
example to example, so the third one will be both more complex and
more persuasive. It’s a good idea to end with the most powerful example
because it will leave your reader with a very positive impression of your
essay.
You also need to order examples so that you can make a meaningful
transition from one paragraph to the next. In other words, if Example A
and Example B are more closely related than either is to Example C, you
should not order them A, C, B. Depending on which example you think
is strongest, you could order them A, B, C, or C, A, B.

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 Bài 3. Making an Outline
As you think about which examples are stronger and weaker and which
are more closely related, you are already thinking about logical
connections between your examples. These logical connections will
become your transitions between paragraphs. A poorly written essay will
have transitions like First, Also, and Another thing is… These
transitions do not make logical or meaningful connections between the
two paragraphs they connect. An excellent essay will have transitions
such as The idea of X leads us to Y or You may be wondering, what
about Y?.
As you decide on paragraph order, write down the connection between
each two paragraphs you put next to each other. Here is a complete
outline for the essay about pit bulls:

Thesis: Making it illegal to breed pit bulls would decrease the number
of very aggressive dogs without burdening dog lover very
much.

Example 1: Scientific evidence that they are more aggressive than other
dogs
Transition: Because they’re naturally aggressive to begin with,
breeders who want fighting dogs usually breed pit bulls, and breed
them to be even more aggressive.
Example 2: People who breed fighting dogs usually breed pit bulls.
Transition: No breeding pit bulls these bad guys out of business,
but wouldn’t have too strong a negative impact on responsible
dog owners who like pit bulls.
Example 3: People who want pit bulls could get other, similar dogs,
such as bulldogs or American terriers.you could order them A, B, C, or
C, A, B.

No matter how long it takes you to write an outline, you are not ready to
begin writing your essay until you have it. An outline is like a blueprint
for a building. A building built without one would almost certainly not
be too solid. It is probably a good idea to spend between 5-8 minutes
writing your outline. Be aware of the time. If you spend more than 8
minutes on the outline, you risk not finishing writing the essay you’ve

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 Bài 4. Writing an Introduction
Your essay also needs an introduction. Your introduction should be a
short paragraph that guides the reader to your thesis statement. The
thesis statement should come at the end first paragraph.
Just as you don’t begin a conversation with a claim like it should be
illegal to breed pit bulls, you don’t begin your essay with your thesis
statement. You need to introduce the reader gradually to the topic, and
give them an idea of why it matters. Imagine yourself in a conversation
– what kind of conversation would lead you to claim that it should be
illegal to breed pit bulls? Probably one about the problem of aggressive
dogs, or maybe a particular dog attack.
Because the introduction is the first thing a reader will read, if you can
make it exciting at all, you should try that. Describing a dog attack
would certainly be exciting, but the problem of aggressive dogs could
also be presented in a way designed to grab the reader’s attention.
As you plan your introduction, think of yourself in a conversation or
reading a magazine article. What kinds of information would lead you to
make the claim in your thesis statement?
Below are five claims. They aren’t all specific enough to be excellent
thesis statement, but they are specific enough for our purposes here.
Imagine yourself making these claims in a conversation, or imagine a
writer making them in a magazine article. Try to make your introduction
exciting and interesting, but the most important thing is to make it
logically consistent with your thesis statement. Write a sentence or notes
describing what you would include in an introduction to an essay with
the following thesis statement.
1. Small businesses should not be exempt from laws banning
employment discrimination.
2. Encouraging children to go to pre-school is the wrong way to
improve our educational system.
3. Open source software is better than proprietary software like
Microsoft.
4. The United States should adopt the Kyoto Protocol
immediately.
5. Cigarettes should be illegal.

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 Bài 5. Organization within Paragraphs
You have already learned in this chapter that your essay should have
(about) three examples or reasons to support your thesis statement. Each
example or reason should form one paragraph. These paragraphs are
called body paragraphs. It is also important to state clearly how the
example or reason you are describing supports the claim in your thesis
statement. In fact, each body paragraph should contain three things: your
point, the information that makes up your example, and an explanation
of how it supports the thesis.It is convenient to remember this as PIE
(Point/ Information/ Explanation).

Point
The point is the sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph. For
example, Because pit bulls are naturally aggressive, most people
who breed dogs for dogfights breed pit bulls. The point should be the
first sentence in the paragraph.

Information
The information is the supporting evidence for your point. In this case,
you would need to provide evidence that most people who breed
fighting dogs breed pit bulls. You might go on to say that that results in
some extremely aggressive pit bulls and many breeders who should be
shut down anyway.

Explanation
The explanation relates the point back to the thesis statement of the
essay. For example, once you’ve proven that many breeders of pit bulls
are unethical and they produce extremely aggressive dogs, you simply
need to state that both problem would be eliminated by making it illegal
to breed pit bulls.
Use the PIE method to organize each of your body paragraphs in
the next essay.

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 Bài 6. Writing a Conclusion
Finally, your essay will need a conclusion. Again, think about a
conversation. Imagine you’ve persuaded them, would you just walk
away? Likely not. You want to leave them with a reminder of why your
idea matters, and what they have gained by reading your essay.

Your conclusion will allow you to open up and discuss the topic more
holistically than you had in your body paragraphs. However, your
conclusion should not

 merely repeat what your examples were,

 introduce new claims that would require further explanation, and
 make points that contradict your thesis statement.

Imagine you are writing a conclusion for our essay about breeding pit
bulls. Cross out the sentences in the list below that would not be
appropriate.

1. Pit bulls are also really ugly dogs.

2. Eliminating extremely aggressive dogs from city life would benefit
everybody.
3. Pit bulls are aggressive and are often bred illegally.
4. Good alternatives to pit bulls include bulldogs and American terriers.
5. Although it may at first seem that making a breed of dog illegal
violates individual rights, the benefits far outweigh the harm.
6. Action should also be taken about irresponsible cat breeding.

You should have crossed out sentences 1, 3, 4, and 6.

Keep in mind the guidelines you’ve learned in this unit, leave in this
unit, leave yourself enough time to write an excellent conclusion for
your next essay.

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 Bài 7. Writing Style: Avoiding Repetition
Before you write the practice essay for this unit, let’s look one way you
can improve your writing skills.In addition to coherent organization, the
test graders will also look at the way you use the English language in
your essay. One way you can improve your writing is to use synonyms
to replace repeated words.

Please read the paragraph below:

Last year, several students at the university were awarded

scholarships for academic achievements in math and science.
However, some students were unsatisfied because students from
the humanities majors were not awarded scholarships. Other
students felt that those complaints were unjustified because no
students from the humanities had achieved anything significant.
The students who won the scholarships wisely remained silent.

Now, go back and underline the word student(s). How many times does
it appear? Too many! In fact, it appears so many times that knowing
what each group of students is doing can get confusing. Instead of using
the word student(s), try to find synonyms to use. Or else, try to rewrite
the sentences so that you do not use the word student(s).
Rewrite the paragraph in the blank below, using the word student(s)
only two times.

Sample Answer
Last year, several students at the university were awarded scholarships
for academic achievements in math and science. However, some of their
peers were unsatisfied because no one from the humanities majors was
awarded scholarships. Other students felt that those complaints were
unjustified because no one from the humanities had achieved anything
significant. The winners of the scholarships wisely remained silent.

The same idea can help you with your writing. Read over what you have
written after you have finished. If you notice that the same word has
been repeated a lot, try to replace it with words with a similar meaning
or with a pronoun.

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 Bài 8. Writing Style: Varying Your Verbs
In addition to coherent organization, the graders will also look at the
way you use the English language in your essay. One way you can make
your language use more sophisticated is to vary the verbs and verb
tenses you use.

First of all, let’s review the verb tenses.

1. To describe an ongoing action, you use present progressive tense.
For example: Jerome is washing his hair.

2. To describe a habitual or repeated action in the present, you use

simple present tense.
For example: Jerome washes his hair every day.

3. To describe an action in the past, you use simple past tense.

For example: Jerome already washes his hair today.

4. To describe a long-term or habitual action in the past, you use the

imperfect.
For example: Jerome used to wash his hair twice a week.

5. To describe a past action that continues or has results in the present,

you use present perfect tense.
For example: Jerome has already started to wash his hair.

6. To describe a past action that occurs even before another action in the
past, you use past perfect tense.
For example: Jerome had already washed his hair when the hot
water ran out.
7. To describe a hypothetical situation, you use the conditional.
For example: Jerome would wash his hair twice a day if he had time.

8. To describe a future action, you use future tense (more formal) or

going to (less formal).
For example: Jerome will wash his hair again tomorrow.
Or: Jerome is going to wash his hair again tomorrow.

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 Bài 8. Writing Style: Varying Your Verbs
You should remember to use these where appropriate in your essay
rather than simply sticking to the present tense.
Moreover, you should avoid excessive use of the verbs to have and to
be. Review the verb vocabulary in Chapter 1. Try to replace the verbs to
have and to be as often as possible with one of the more precise, more
active verbs. Remember, if you change the verb, you may have to
change the sentence, too.
Let’s practice. The author of the following paragraph has used to have
and to be far too often.
Please read the paragraph below:
Pit bulls are more aggressive than other dogs. There is scientific
evidence that shows pit bulls are more aggressive than other dogs.
Scientists have evidence that say pit bulls are more likely to bite
other dogs than any other breed. And once they bite, they are
more likely to hurt other dogs. Pit bulls have a very strong jaw.
They have fighting personalities. Because pit bulls are very
aggressive, it is fair for it to be illegal to breed them.
Now, go back and underline the verbs have or be. Remember to
distinguish have as a helping verb (as in has washed or had washed)
from have as a main verb. How many times do they appear? Too many!
Replace every example of those verbs with more active and precise
verbs from Chap 1 or from your own English vocabulary. Remember to
reread the entire sentence after you have changed the verb to see if any
other changes need to be made.
Sample Answer
Pit bulls behave more aggressively than other dogs. Scientists
have proven that pit bulls demonstrate more aggressive behaviors
than other dogs. They have documented that pit bulls bite other
dogs than any other breed. And once they bite, they usually hurt
other dogs with their strong jaws. Fighting form an important part
of the breed’s personality. Because pit bulls demonstrate
aggressive behavior, outlawing pit bull breeding would decrease
social problems relates to dog aggression.

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 Bài 9. Writing Style: Varying Sentence
Structures
You may have noticed in Unit 9 that using more varied verbs sometimes
means moving the parts of the sentence around. If every sentence has the
same basic structure, your reader will quickly grow bored. In this unit,
you will learn a few ways to break your sentences out of the subject-
verb-object pattern.

1. It’s important to remember to vary sentence length. For example,

here are two ways of saying the same thing:

I like to walk, hike, and bike.

I like to walk. I like to hike. I also like to bike.
Here’s another example:
I left the house by nine, and got to the party by 9:30.
I left the house by nine. I got to go the party 9:30.
In general, combining sentences is a more sophisticated way of writing.
But including shorter sentences so often will provide variety to make
your writing even better.

2. Now imagine you are writing a sentence that includes because. You
would probably structure it “effect because cause”.

For example:
I didn’t eat the birthday cake because I didn’t like it.
One simple way to give your sentence a slightly different rhythm is to
change the read “because cause, effect”.

3. Now imagine you are writing a sentence that includes but. You
would probably structure it “first idea, but second idea”. One way to
change it is to structure it, “first idea; however, second idea”. Notice the
different punctuation in the two strutures.
Let’s do an example together.
The organization has asked me to interview for the job, but they
also asked my coworker Jonathan.
The organization has asked me to interview for the job; however, they

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 Bài 10. PRACTICE
ESSAY 1 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,
write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

Some parents continue helping their children financially even after

the children have graduated from college, until they become
financially stable on their own. Other parents believe their children
will learn more by being forced to be responsible for their own
finances as soon as they finish college. Which do you think is the
better approach? Use specific examples and details to support your
answer.

ESSAY 2 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,

write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

Many moral belief systems define moral behavior by hay people do

not do. Do you think it would be better to define moral behavior by
what people do, such as working for charity? Explain why, using
specific examples and details to support your answer.

ESSAY 3 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,

write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

It’s easy to list the ways computer and technology help us. Are there
ways that they hurt us? Discuss one major negative effect computer
and technology have. Use specific examples and details to support
your answer.

282
 Bài 10. PRACTICE
ESSAY 4 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,
write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

How important do you think physical appearance is in people’s live?

Does it affect aspects of our lives other than romance? Discuss one
or more of these aspects. Use specific examples and details to
support your answer.

ESSAY 5 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,

write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

Because of the law of supply and demand, many desirable jobs pay
very little. Which do you think is more important, a job that pays
well or a job doing exactly what you want to do? Use specific
examples and details to support your answer.

ESSAY 6 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,

write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

Some children grow up with pets and others don’t. Most who grew
up with them continue to have them as adults. Do you think there
are life lessons that children learn through pets that they don’t learn
elsewhere? What are they? Use specific examples and details to
support your answer.

283
 Bài 10. PRACTICE
ESSAY 7 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,
write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

In our modern culture, we have less and less contact with nature. Is
that a problem in and of itself? Why or why not? Use specific
examples and details to support your answer.

ESSAY 8 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,

write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

In the United States, citizens pay lower taxes and get fewer services
from the government. Europeans pay higher taxes but get more
services (such as health care) from their governments. Which system
do you prefer, and why? Use specific examples and reasons to
support your answer.

ESSAY 9 : Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,

write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will
contain a minimum of 300 words.

Many universities were originally for male students only. Those

universities have since been required to admit female students
because to do otherwise would be discrimination. However, some all
women’s colleges remain. Do you think they should be forced to
accept men, or is it legally justifiable to maintain all women’s
spaces? Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

284