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And I thought, why?

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Why would a woman try and tell this man not to ride his Harley, not to do the
things that make him feel alive?

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Why do you do that, ladies?

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What?

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That's right.

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Say it again.

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Protect him?

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To protect him.

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What part of you wants to protect him?

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The part that needs him to protect you.

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The part that needs him to protect you.

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Very nice, Sir.

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Very, very insightful.

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Give him a hand.

00:00:28
Very nice.

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Give him a big hand.

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Oh, come on, give him a big hand for that.

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The mother will show up to protect him because the mother doesn't want a child to
get hurt.

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And the reason why is your instinct says this is my protector.
00:00:47
If my protector disappears, I'm not protected.

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So who does that irrationally?

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Is the animal.

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The instinct in this woman comes out and maybe in the beginning she starts it as a
mothering instinct.

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And then when that's not enough, she goes into rage and anger because she's in
survival going, what if he doesn't come back?

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Guys don't understand this.

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All they know is I've lost my and do you ever see Braveheart?

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Do you ever see guy with his face, half blue, Mel Gibson saying what you can, what
you can take our lives, but you can never take our notice?

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I didn't have to coach any man in the room on that one.

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And when you do, under the guise of protecting your future, or us or both, and when
you do it from an irrational place, which all people do, then some other part of us
has to take over.

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And then suddenly we become the men you don't respect because you can control us
like your boy.

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And then we don't respect ourselves because we feel a little dead inside.

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And then the polarity is gone.

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The man no longer lives that very peace that excited you and brought you to him but
still scares you.

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You're scared that if he's free, he may not stay, but if you can embrace and love
all of him, you will own him.

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All you have to do is be confident.

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All you have to do just say I'm just afraid you're going to die.
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I couldn't live without you.

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You'll find he'll drive more safely if he feels that presence, not nagging.

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If all you do is radiate love, his freedom will be there, but he will want to share
it with you.

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No one else feel inside.

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Think about what it's like.

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If he feels your passion, he will hear you.

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If in the middle of your fear, you could open to him, maybe he'll throw you on the
back of the Harley and you'll go together.

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Maybe he can show you that we can be free, because who wants to live this way?

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I'd rather die on my Harley than live dead inside every day of my life.

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And then maybe a little fear inside of you will start to disappear.

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And maybe you'll admire your husband's courage or your boyfriend's courage that he
loves life so much and he has to live it so fully.

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The adventure has to be there.

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The challenge has to be there for him to be alive.

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So he has an energy to give you, and he has the courage to face those challenges.

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That's his gift to give you.

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But if you make your rules for love depended upon him giving up his freedom, if
you're successful then your relationship begins to die.

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And if you fail, the meaning it will give is he doesn't love me.

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And the relationship begins to die because you will then close, and with that
passion will decline.
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And then authenticity and radiance and even your own confidence.

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And then there'll be no sensual energy.

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There'll be no sexual energy.

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And then you'll become a wife, and he'll become a husband, and you'll have a good
life until you don't.

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So I said to Bob, you used to drive a Harley.

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What do you do now?

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Nothing.

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What happened, Bob?

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He became a father, and he had a role for a father.

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He had a part of him that took over, that she made very clear.

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And he began to realize also what he thought a father had to be.

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And that was an unbelievably responsible.

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There's nothing wrong with being responsible if that's one part of you.

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But when every part of you is responsible all the time, ladies, when you feel
responsibility for everything, everyone, every single moment, it's a little
exhausting, isn't it?

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Then he got lost his job, so now I can't support his family.

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Then he lost his house, lost his home, lost his job, and then his wife wants him to
talk about it.

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She wants a metal report about something that even to think about makes him want to
die.

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And then he thinks he's not worth his wife or his children.
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And then nothing's working.

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He's tried several jobs, doesn't work, and she's screaming at him, yelling at him.

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He doesn't spend enough time with the children.

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And why doesn't he have a job and on and on and on and on.

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And he finally decides it's time to go.

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He didn't reveal this plan to her, by the way, and she wasn't in the room.

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So the first thing I need to do is change his what?

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I know it sounds pretty basic, my friends, but this is the juice of life, because
meaning comes out of state and I need to change it now and change it long term.

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But I start with now, I said.

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Bob used to ride a Harley.

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I said I need the most attractive five women in the room up here, which is the
perfect thing to say.

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They all come up and they start dancing all around Bob.

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Now what happens when you take a dead dolphin and you throw a bucket full of fish
all over?

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He starts bouncing all over the place.

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He's like having the best time.

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He's looking all around.

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Everything is bouncing in his face.

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I mean, this guy, he looks alive again.

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Suddenly life is looking much better than death at this moment.
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Killing my kids.

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Are you crazy?

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No problem.

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Then we rewired Bob so that he wouldn't just be happy in this moment, 'cause he's
in a better state, but he would come up with different what meanings from now on.

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And then we anchored those in through the normal process and Bob was transformed.

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Bob became the star of the entire week.