Past

he best time is present because no one lives in the past. We live in the
present with the hope of a brighter future. Most people have had good and
bad experiences which either sharpened their knowledge and skills on how to
conduct themselves in their relationships. I am not only talking about
dragging your experiences into your current relationship.

I am also talking about preserving people information, resulting from

correcting motives you have incurred. One reason most relationships do not
have a firm foundation is that people reflect the experiences into their
current relationships. They forget the current has got nothing to do with the
past. I understand one of the significant reasons you are not with your
previous partner is because of the differences which led to a separation
unless your partner died. Do you understand you are not in a relationship
with your previous partner and your last partner is way different from your
current? The way your former partner behaved in a crisis would not be the
same way your current partner behaves. What is the primary reason you
want your partner to mirror the image of your previous partner? If you
compare them to your last relationship, then you are still in love with your
previous partner. Why do you seek the company if you have someone
attached to your past? Whether your past was great, it’s gone and you are in
a new territory where old tricks do not apply. If you cannot adapt in the
current union, then leave.

When someone entrusts you with their past why do you bring it up each time
you argue? Digging up the past is a lack of maturity and unforgiving spirit. I
understand it’s hard to forgive and forget, but don’t use it to win the
argument. Find better ways to solve the problem without touching the past.
One problem with dwelling on the past is your union will get boring because
instead of tackling obstacles you create problems. Trust is very important in a
relationship because it might be the only thread holding your relationship.
Apart from many reasons people settle, trust is one of the chief cornerstones.
Nobody wants to live with a continuous problem, but challenges with
solutions. If your partner lose trust in the relationship, you no longer have a
partner, but someone you know in your life.

Are you prepared to settle with someone who can’t keep a secret? We all
have secrets and we know how to keep them that way. If you know your
partner’s secret, consider yourself lucky because they have told you what
only a few know. Be careful of such people because they will do you more
harm than good. Instead of enjoying being in love or relationship with your
partner, you are no longer free, because the entire nation knows your
deepest secret. Some even abuse it, for example. You use their past to make
extra cash from them or else you will inform people. If you have such people
in your life, they are not friends, but demons from hell. Did you know when
they told you about their past, they did not intend to give you a ticket to
always remind them? Don’t you know they understand their past better than
you? Did you know you might lose someone exceptional in your life by
awakening the beast in its peaceful sleep? Would you expect them to give
you absolute respect when you do not respect their requests? Why do you
expect them to give you respect when you deserve none? No one in this
world deserves respect, but God.

When you bring the past into your current relationship is it because you lack
something to discuss or you enjoy talking so much you don’t know where to
draw the line? Do you know what to say and when to say? Isn’t your previous
relationship did not work out because of your behaviour? Pointing a finger is
much easier than admitting when you are wrong. When you are in a
relationship, your past is gone and you may open no door because that
would lead to another relationship.