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The 5 Second Rule Mel Robbins

"You are one decision away from a completely different life" The 5
Second Rule
The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must count down
5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you. Using the
Rule is simple. Whenever you feel an instinct fire up to act on a goal or
a commitment, or the moment you feel that yourself hesitate on doing
something and you know you should do, use the Rule
.
Start by counting backwards to yourself: 5- 4- 3- 2-1. The counting will
help you focus on the goal or commitment and distract you from the
worries, thoughts, and fears in your mind. As soon as you reach “1,”
move. That’s it. The Rule will work every time you use it. But you have
to use it. It is a tool. If you stop using it, fear and uncertainty will creep
back in and take control of your decisions. If that happens, just start
using the Rule again.
Physical movement is the most important part of my Rule, too, because
when you move your physiology changes and your mind follows. The
Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates
immediate and lasting behaviour change. Metacognition, by the way, is
just a fancy word for any technique that allows you to beat your brain in
order to accomplish your greater goals. As you use the Rule over time,
you’ll experience a shift inside yourself that is much deeper, a
transformation that impacts confidence and inner strength. You will
come face to face with the excuses, habits, feelings, insecurities, and
fears that have haunted you for years.
Application Ideas
Speaking in a meeting
Staying positive
Making a decision
Finding time for yourself
Asking for feedback
Raising your hand
Asking for a raise
Ending self-doubt
Working on your résumé
Sticking to your plan
Leaving the house
Volunteering to go first
Talking to someone you find attractive
Stepping on a dance floor
Publishing your work
Getting to the gym
Eating in moderation
Saying “no”
Asking for help
Letting your guard down
Admitting you are wrong
Listening
Over time, as you repeat the Rule, you destroy that system all together.
One thing most of us don’t realize is that patterns of thinking like
worrying, self-doubt, and fear are all just habits—and you repeat these
thought patterns without even realizing it.
It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do
something really, really brave.
Everyday life is full of moments that are scary, uncertain, and difficult.
Facing these moments and unlocking the opportunity, magic, and joy in
your life requires tremendous courage.
Courage teaches us all that it’s not the big moves that change everything
—it’s the smallest ones in your everyday life that do We waste so much
of our lives waiting for the right time to have the conversation, ask for
the raise, bringit up, or start things.
It reminds me of that famous Wayne Gretzky quote: “You miss 100% of
the shots you don’t take.” Here’s the thing—you never regret the shots
you do take but you always regret holding back.
Courage
We waste so much of our lives waiting for the right time to have the
conversation, ask for the raise, bring it up, or start things. It reminds me
of that famous Wayne Gretzky quote:
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Here’s the thing—you
never regret the shots you do take but you always regret holding back.
Legendary psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi applied this concept
to human behavior, blaming activation energy as one of the reasons why
making change is so hard. He defines activation energy as that “initial
huge push of energy that’s required to change”—whether it’s to get a
stalled car to move forward or yourself out of a warm bed in the
morning.
Confidence
A big mistake people make is thinking that confidence is a matter of
personality. Confidence just means that you believe in yourself, your
ideas, and your capabilities. Anyone can learn how to become more
confident. It’s not a personality trait. It’s a skill. Confidence in yourself
is built through acts of everyday courage.
A good life is made up of small steps—“making tough decisions,”
“being able to say no,” even “getting out of bed and taking the dogs
out” just because you said you would—they may be little steps in
“learning to trust” yourself, but they are the most “exhilarating”
moves that you can make for your confidence. Sometimes there is no
next time, no second chance, or no time out. Stop waiting. It’s now or
never. When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating. You are doing
something more dangerous. You are deliberately convincing yourself
“now is not the time.”
You are actively working against your dreams.
Two kinds of procrastination
Productive Procrastination
If you are working on a creative project or an innovative idea, research
shows that procrastination is not only good, but it is also important. The
creative process takes time, so when you set a project aside for a few
days or weeks, your mind can wander. That extra time spent mental
wandering gives you the ability to come up with more creative,
“divergent” ideas that enhance your project.
Destructive Procrastination
Destructive procrastination is an entirely different animal. It’s when we
avoid the work we need to get done and know there will be negative
consequences. This habit really comes back to bite you in the end.
Elements of Flow
Clear Goals at a abstract and granular level
There is immediate reporting and feedback
There is a balance between challenges and skills.
Action and awareness becomes one
Distractions are excluded from consciousness.
Fear of failure tapers away
Self-consciousness disappears
Distortion of time
The activity and person becomes autotelic.
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