15 BIG reasons your ex is

trying to get a reaction out

of you! (ultimate guide)
Thảo Anh Nguyễn

March 22, 2022 9 min read

Have you ever been left scratching your

head, wondering why your ex is now
texting you and acting weird all of the
sudden?

You might be asking yourself, “What’s

their game?” “Why can’t they be normal
and happy like everyone else?”

Then this article is for you!

1) They’re guilty and regretful

about the breakup

When a relationship ends, there’s a lot of

emotion that’s at play.

The hurt and pain are felt by both people

involved, but if your ex regrets what
happened, they might be looking to get a
reaction out of you.

They might want to hurt you back in

hopes that you’ll feel the same way they
did when they were going through the
breakup process.

Or they can be looking for a way to fix

what happened by trying to talk to you
about it.

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The best way to combat this emotion?

Simply express that you’re confident in

your situation and that you’re happy with
the changes taking place.

2) They want validation that

they made the right choice in
breaking up with you

Even though they might not admit it,

many partners who break up with each
other can be hesitant about all the
changes and surprises that are happening.

In those situations, a person might need

an outside perspective that confirms what
they just did was the best decision for
them and their own growth.

A reaction is most likely one of the

products that your ex is looking for to help
reinforce their choice.

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Here’s an example:

Your ex might text you: “I feel so bad

about how we left things, I want to tell
you I’m glad it’s over.”

So how to respond?

Simply respond in a positive way and say:

“I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you feel
great about how it’s going.”

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3) They have low self-esteem

This is the scenario where your ex might

have low self-esteem – and they might feel
like you’re the person who can help them
make them feel better about their life.

By talking to you, they’re looking to build

their confidence up by trying to get back
in contact with you.

Let’s dig a little deeper:

Your ex might text you: “I need to tell you

that I’m sad. I can’t tell my friends or my
family how I really feel because they’d be
mad at me. But you could be the person
who could help me out.”

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This is basically a “gimme-gimme” text.

It’s basically saying, “I need to talk to

someone who understands me and knows
how amazing I am.”

And you can respond by saying: “How can

I help?”

This will cause your ex to talk about

whatever is currently bothering them.

You can then take it from there and guide

the conversation in a positive direction.

4) You’re still an important

part of their life

Simply put, they might miss you, and they

don’t know how to deal with their
feelings.

So they’re going to make the mistake of

sending you too many texts or calling you
too often.

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But don’t be surprised — this happens a
lot.

Why? Because many couples simply fall

into the trap of codependence, which can
be very hard to get out of. Yes, even when
the relationship has already ended.

This is something I learned from

renowned shaman Rudá Iandê’s
masterclass on Love and Intimacy.

There, he explores the codependent

dynamic between the ‘savior’ and the
‘needy’ in the relationship, where the two
depend on each other to save and be
saved.

And maybe it happened to you and your

ex, too, which is why you’re still struggling
to cut ties with them even when the
relationship has already supposedly
ended.

So if you want out of this vicious cycle,

maybe his teachings on love and intimacy
can help.

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Click here for the free masterclass.

5) They want to test your

loyalty

In certain situations, your ex might have a

question about the level of loyalty that
you have towards them.

When this happens, they’re probably going

to try to test it.

Here’s an example:

Your ex might text you: “I heard there was

a party last night at your house. Weren’t
you supposed to be spending time with
your family?”

This is an example of someone trying to

get a reaction from you. By testing your
loyalty, they’re basically trying to see if
you’ll be loyal to them.

But why is your ex doing this?

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Assume that a lot of time has passed

since the breakup. They might be
feeling unsure about the breakup, and
they want to know if you’ve moved on
already.
Maybe they want to see if you’re
dating someone else or if you’re in a
committed relationship.

In short:

They’re feeling a little jealous. All you

have to do is give them an honest
response about what happened.

6) They want to stir up some

drama

Here’s the truth:

It’s in our nature to create drama, and we

see it all the time on reality TV shows.
Somewhere along the line, the drama was
associated with excitement and action.

So in certain situations, your ex might try

to stir up some drama just for the fun of it.

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This is why a lot of people who get back

together have to work very hard to get
their relationship working again.

The breakup wasn’t the final step in their

relationship; they still need to learn how
to keep things positive and drama-free.

But it’s possible that your ex is looking for

you because they want you as a target just
for drama’s sake.

So keep in mind:

All relationships have some drama, but it

doesn’t mean you can’t keep things
positive.

7) They want revenge for

something bad that
happened during your
relationship

Another reason that your ex might try to

get a reaction out of you is that they want
revenge for something bad that happened
to them during their relationship.

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What happened next was unthinkable:

Your ex can leak your personal

information online, and passed around
your private information to all their
friends.

Or they might post something on social

media about you, putting out a public
statement about how much their life has
improved since the two of you split.

These are situations where your ex might

try to get a reaction from you because of
something bad that happened during the
relationship.

How to handle it?

Here’s our recommendation:

Wait it out. It’s possible that your ex will

eventually get bored and move on with
their life.

Or maybe your ex might actually want to

apologize to you for sharing your personal
information online. However, if you can’t
wait it out, then you can always react in a
positive way.

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8) They’re projecting their

guilt onto you in an effort to
acquire a ‘guilt-Px’

This next one is the weirdest reason why

your ex might try to get a reaction out of
you.

It’s when something bad that happened

during a relationship causes them to feel
guilty.

So they’re going to project their guilt onto

you and try to fix it by asking you
questions or making comments about
what they did wrong in the relationship.

This kind of behavior is common when

you’re dealing with someone who has a lot
of insecurities, and it’s one of the most
difficult things to deal with.

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But the first thing you need to do is realize

that they’re not trying to apologize.

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